There's No Such Thing as Perfection

Summary

Summary of "There's No Such Thing as Perfection" – Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Episode Details:

• Title: There's No Such Thing as Perfection
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
• Release Date: July 15, 2025
• Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111

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Introduction

In the July 15, 2025 episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," Dr. Laura Schlessinger engages with a listener named Linda, who seeks advice on managing anger and perfectionist tendencies. The episode delves deep into Linda's personal struggles, exploring the roots of her emotional outburst and offering practical guidance toward self-acceptance and emotional regulation.

Linda's Call: A Breakdown of Emotions

Linda initiates the discussion by recounting a distressing incident where her frustration led her to break her cherished necklaces:

Linda [01:09]: "I threw them at the wall and then I picked them up and I took the chains and I just kept pulling on them and I broke them into little pieces…"

She expresses profound shame over her actions and a fear of losing control again, especially amidst the recent revelation of her father's cancer recurrence:

Linda [06:17]: "My dad is 87 and we just found out his cancer is back from 20 years ago. And that's really upsetting me."

Unpacking the Incident: Root Causes

Dr. Laura swiftly navigates the conversation to uncover underlying factors contributing to Linda's outburst:

Dr. Laura [02:18]: "Let's go back over the day and find out the part of it which wasn't."

Linda describes a day spent rekindling relationships with old colleagues, which turned sour due to negative discussions about others' personal lives. This, combined with the stress of maintaining a positive facade about her own life, amplified her emotional vulnerability.

The Struggle with Perfectionism

Linda admits her tendency toward perfectionism, which exacerbates her self-criticism:

Linda [08:41]: "Oh, I do. I'm a perfectionist."

Dr. Laura challenges this mindset, emphasizing the unattainability of perfection:

Dr. Laura [08:44]: "There is no such thing as a perfection person."

She underscores the importance of striving for one's best effort rather than an impossible ideal, fostering a healthier self-expectation framework.

Embracing Self-Forgiveness and Compassion

Dr. Laura commends Linda for not directing her anger toward others, highlighting her ability to contain her emotions:

Dr. Laura [10:26]: "Frankly, I'm proud of you that you did that and didn't do anything worse."

She encourages Linda to adopt a more compassionate view of herself, reducing self-imposed pressure and embracing self-forgiveness:

Dr. Laura [11:03]: "You're fine, sweetheart. Just please push yourself a little less."

Key Insights and Takeaways

1. Perfection is Illusory: Striving for perfection sets an unattainable standard, leading to unnecessary self-criticism and emotional strain.

2. Self-Forgiveness is Vital: Acknowledging mistakes without harsh self-judgment fosters emotional healing and resilience.

3. Understanding Emotional Triggers: Recognizing underlying stressors, such as familial health issues, is crucial in managing emotional responses.

4. Cultivating Self-Compassion: Treating oneself with kindness and understanding mitigates feelings of inadequacy and promotes overall well-being.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Dr. Laura [08:44]: "There is no such thing as a perfection person."

• Dr. Laura [10:26]: "Frankly, I'm proud of you that you did that and didn't do anything worse."

• Dr. Laura [11:03]: "You're fine, sweetheart. Just please push yourself a little less."

Conclusion

In this heartfelt episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger offers a compassionate yet firm perspective on managing perfectionism and anger. Through her interaction with Linda, she illustrates the importance of self-acceptance, realistic self-expectations, and self-compassion in navigating personal challenges. Linda's journey serves as a testament to the transformative power of embracing one's imperfections and fostering emotional resilience.

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For more insightful discussions and guidance, tune in to Dr. Laura's daily radio program on SiriusXM Triumph 111 or visit DrLaura.com.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Linda, welcome to the program.

[Linda]

Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you for taking my call. I called you 27 years ago and you. You offered to pinch my head off, but in a nice way.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Okay. Did I have to pinch your head off or did I just threaten it?

[Linda]

You threatened it. And you basically were telling me I had done the right thing. So it was lovely. And you're like, yeah, so it was great.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Good. I trust you.

[Linda]

Okay. I think I need your help. I did something really, really awful yesterday, and I'm ashamed of myself and I don't want it to ever happen again. So I had a lovely day. And I was putting away my favorite two necklaces that I had worn, and I was hanging them up and they got tangled and I tried to untangle them three times, and I couldn't get them untangled because the chains are really fine. And I just got so angry. I threw them at the wall and then I picked them up and I took the chains and I just kept pulling on them and I broke them into little pieces and. I know, but this bit of anger, that's a dangerous thing. And I don't ever want that to happen again. And so I've put them away.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Is this the first time in your entire life you got that frustrated?

[Linda]

No, but it's very, very rare. It's been, like, years.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Okay, let's go back. There's something about this wonderful day that wasn't.

[Linda]

Oh. Oh.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

So let's go back over the day and find out the part of it which wasn't. But you had a stiff upper lip. You were determined to have a wonderful day. So tell me what that was.

[Linda]

Well, I drove two hours to meet with five women that I had worked with 10 years ago. We meet every so often to just get together and rehash the old times. And then it was really Fun though. And then I drove all the way back home again.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Let's go back over. It was really fun, but I believe something happened.

[Linda]

Well, I mean some of them have not one of them has not changed and kind of a really depressing situation and it doesn't ever change and it just keeps bringing up a lot of negative things. That was a little frustrating.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

What negative things?

[Linda]

Oh, her marriage is bad, her husband's awful, but she won't leave him. She stayed with him through all kinds of stuff and he's a terrible man and now he just sits and watches TV all day and he can't work and it's just negative, negative, negative. And then he asked me, you know, how is your husband? And I said, my husband is fabulous. I picked a good one and he's the most wonderful man and we get along most of the time and. Which was nice to be able to say and it was true, but he was just looking for stop. But.

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

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[Linda]

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[Linda]

Dr. Laura, I also have this other thing going on. My dad is 87 and we just found out his cancer is back from 20 years ago. And that's really upsetting me. I don't know. I know I'm 60, but I. I want to keep my tad. So I don't know if it's a little thing from yesterday or that underlying thing. I should still be able to control myself. I'm 60 years old.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Linda, you're here.

[Linda]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You spend four hours in traffic. How to listen to this bitchy woman bitch. You said good things about your husband and it's not like everybody backed you up. And in the back of your mind, the impending death. So when something as small as those ridiculous. First of all, I don't use those kind of chains anymore because that would happen to me all the time. Don't change them. Put them on something a little more substantial. Anyway, when they got jammed up and you spent time trying to repair it all, the emotion, her bitching about her husband. When you've got an impending death here, somebody you care about. I guess you just lost it. And I wouldn't spend one more minute giving yourself any shit about it.

[Linda]

But I broke things I love.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

So what? So what? You didn't punch that lady out. You didn't start drinking, right? So, I mean, what are you going to do when that builds up something stupid?

[Linda]

I think I need to exercise more.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Linda. No, there's nothing wrong with you. God. Except that you're awfully self negative. No, that's ridiculous. That you're. Ma'. Am. That you're upset about this, about yourself tells me more about your problem, which is you demanding way too much of you.

[Linda]

Oh, I do. I'm a perfectionist.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

There is. Yeah, but there is no such thing as a perfection person. There's.

[Linda]

We can try to be.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

No, we can't try to be perfect. We can only do the best we can. And that is far cry from perfect. I put 100% of my effort into anything I choose to do. Except if it's something. Ah, 75 is enough on this. So you start measuring. You can't do 100% because nobody can do 100%. Nobody. Not me. And I'm good. Nobody.

[Linda]

Yeah, you're amazing.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Yeah, but I can't be perfect and I can't be 100% at all. Times. And I forgive myself, the reality, as long as I do my best under the circumstance. And your best may be 62%.

[Linda]

Okay. But it's not to go home and break your things.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

No, you didn't go home to break your things. That wasn't the intent. You tend to control your negative, your bad feelings, your anger, your rage. You tend to control it. And we get angry when somebody we love is going to die. We get angry with that. And then you got frustrated by a stupid little hyper skinny chain.

[Linda]

Yep.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Tried, tried, tried. And then threw it and tore it. And frankly, I'm proud of you that you did that and didn't do anything worse. I'm very okay that you did that.

[Linda]

Wow. Really?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Yes. I'm not okay with you thinking you're not okay for doing that. I think it was just fine. Of all the alternatives you could have done at that explosion of rage, that was really minimal. I mean, if you want to impress me, you know, kicking the wall.

[Linda]

No, but I didn't take it out of my husband. That's true.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

That's right. You took it out on some stupid, skinny nonsense chains. And they're crap anyway. They're cheap and they're stupid. Replace them.

[Linda]

Because I was thinking, I don't deserve nice things because I broke it. But maybe that's not. You make more sense.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Thank you. Thank you. I do.

[Linda]

You do. That's why I call you.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You're fine. You're fine, sweetheart. Just please push yourself a little less. I don't push myself as much as you do. And people think I do. A lot of you beat me.

[Linda]

I love you, Dr. Laura. This is twice in my life you've told me I'm okay. Thank you.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Well, third time. God knows what I'm going to say.

[Linda]

God knows what I'm going to do.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Okay.

[Linda]

Thank you so much.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

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