Three Words to Help You Heal

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Three Words to Help You Heal

Date: February 25, 2026
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Key Theme: Healing After the Loss of a Spouse

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Overview

In this heartfelt episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger speaks with Eileen, a recently widowed caller, on the subject of grief and healing after losing a spouse. The episode centers on finding practical, compassionate ways to move forward, captured in Dr. Laura’s memorable “three words to help you heal.” Dr. Laura offers wisdom, personal anecdotes, and even a comforting roast chicken recipe to help Eileen (and listeners) navigate the challenging journey of bereavement.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Central Question: Three Words for Healing

• Eileen calls in seeking "three words of advice during grieving" for a spouse that would help her to "somewhat move past it."
  • [01:38–02:13]

2. Dr. Laura's Three Words: "Time, Friends, Activities"

• Dr. Laura responds:
  • Dr. Laura:
    • “Time, friends, activities.” [02:38–02:54]
    • "No miracles. We don’t wait for a feeling to come upon us and then we move on." [02:59–03:03]
    • "It’s just incremental, tiny little movements. You got up and did your life without him. That’s moving on." [03:07–03:13]
• She clarifies that "moving on" doesn’t mean you won’t feel pain if you loved your spouse; it simply means building a new life, step by small step.

3. On Missing a Loved One

• Dr. Laura makes it clear that ongoing sadness is normal:
  • Dr. Laura:
    • “If you mean moving on so you don’t feel bad if you liked him, that never happens…you’re always going to feel a little bad if you liked him.” [03:13–03:28]
    • “The price you pay for loving him and for him loving you is that you’re gonna miss him.” [04:14–04:21]

4. Incremental Healing and the Importance of Tiny Steps

• Both Dr. Laura and Eileen focus on appreciating small progress:
  • Eileen: “I like what you said about the incremental small movements.” [03:43]
  • Dr. Laura: “You can’t see it. It’s so incremental.” [03:51]

5. The Role of Activities and Learning

• Dr. Laura advocates for engagement:
  • Activities don’t have to involve others—physical or mental activities (e.g., chess) can be solitary. [04:29-04:41]
  • Dr. Laura: "It’s both distraction and your brain learning something new." [04:43]
  • “When we had a big loss to put ourselves in a situation where our brains learn something new that makes us get deeper and healthier faster.” [04:54–05:10]

6. Practical Self-Care and Routines

• Dr. Laura gently questions Eileen on basic routines, like eating breakfast, and offers suggestions for comfort:
  • Dr. Laura: “What’s your favorite food in the morning? … No toast, no?” [05:22–05:41]
  • Jokes about “drooling with butter” on toast or English muffins. [05:40]
• The discussion highlights how grief can impact daily self-care, like eating healthy meals.

7. Making Life Easier: Accepting Help and Change

• Conversation on grocery shopping and self-kindness during grief.
  • Dr. Laura: “It’s worth it in your mindset, sweetheart. It’s worth it... You should make life a little easier for yourself. Come on.” [08:55–09:07]
  • “I consider it a way to treat myself well.” [09:13]

8. The Physical Side of Grief and the Value of Connection

• Recognizing that grief is not just emotional, but physical:
  • Eileen: “The physical part of this grief… it can impact. It has impacted me.” [09:21]
• Dr. Laura shares her own experience of widowhood and calling friends for ten-minute chats for comfort. [09:34–10:06]

9. Retirement and Loss: Navigating Multiple Transitions

• Eileen describes her retirement occurring just as her husband fell ill, compounding feelings of loss:
  • Dr. Laura: “So you lost your job and your husband all in one week. Yay. See how that… you really got crunched on both sides.” [10:30–10:31]

10. Moving Forward—Even When It Doesn't Feel Good

• Eileen is offered contractual work with her former employer, gently encouraged by Dr. Laura as a sign that life is “beginning” again:
  • Dr. Laura: "You're beginning, sweetheart. We call this moving forward." [11:01–11:09]
  • “It just doesn’t feel good.” [11:10]
  • “And it won’t for quite a while. Tolerate that. But you’re doing everything right except the food. So don’t piss me off. Order some food.” [11:17–11:33]
  • Humor interwoven with warmth underscores the importance of small self-care victories.

11. Dr. Laura’s Roast Chicken Recipe: Comfort Food for the Soul

• Dr. Laura shares her personal roast chicken recipe as a practical comfort and encouragement:
  • Directions include lemon, salt, pepper, butter, vegetables, and oven temperature cautions, laced with her lighthearted humor. [11:49–13:16]
  • Dr. Laura: “You get a whole chicken... jam it into the oven at 425. Do not put convection. Just put regular bake. If you put convection, the whole damn thing is gonna burn. I know that. Cause I did that twice. Ha. Takes me a while to learn.” [12:50–13:09]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dr. Laura: "Time, friends, activities." [02:54]
• Dr. Laura: “It’s just incremental, tiny little movements. You got up and did your life without him. That’s moving on.” [03:07]
• Dr. Laura: “If you liked him, then, yeah, there’s always going to be some remnants, no matter what.” [03:31]
• Dr. Laura: "The price you pay for loving him and for him loving you is that you’re gonna miss him." [04:14]
• Dr. Laura: "You should make life a little easier for yourself. Come on." [09:07]
• Dr. Laura: “You're beginning, sweetheart. We call this moving forward.” [11:09]
• Dr. Laura: “But you’re doing everything right except the food. So don’t piss me off. Order some food.” [11:30]
• Dr. Laura (about roast chicken): "Do not put convection. Just put regular bake. If you put convection, the whole damn thing is gonna burn. I know that. Cause I did that twice." [12:50–13:09]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Introduction of Caller / Main Question: [01:27–02:13]
• Three Words for Healing: [02:38–02:54]
• Realities of Grief & Moving On: [03:01–04:21]
• Incremental Healing: [03:43–03:51]
• Role of Activities: [04:29–05:10]
• Comfort Foods Conversation: [05:22–05:47]
• Grocery Shopping and Grief: [08:10–09:13]
• Dr. Laura Shares Widowhood Story: [09:34–10:06]
• Retirement & Compounded Loss: [10:08–10:31]
• Encouragement to Move Forward: [11:01–11:09]
• Dr. Laura’s Roast Chicken Recipe: [11:49–13:16]

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Tone and Style

Dr. Laura maintains her signature tone: direct, no-nonsense, warm but brisk, authoritative, compassionate, and wryly humorous. She balances empathy with tough love, combining practical advice with gentle prodding and personal anecdotes, creating a supportive atmosphere for listeners navigating similar losses.

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This concise yet rich exchange offers comfort, validation, and practical ideas for anyone processing grief—reminding us that healing is a marathon of small, brave steps, a nurturing community, and perhaps, a good homemade meal.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

[e-mail] Eileen welcome to the program.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Good afternoon.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Good afternoon, Eileen. How can I help?

[Eileen (Caller)]

I telephoned your show over the weekend and got a recording and you very politely had my call returned. I was calling to see if you had three and no set number there. It's a. Three words of advice during grieving for a spouse.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Advice that would lead to what?

[Eileen (Caller)]

Advice that would lead to. A. An. An outcome of somewhat moving past it.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I got. I got your three words. You have something to write with.

[Eileen (Caller)]

I absolutely do. I'm always prepared.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Good time things take time. We have to wrap our heads around things yet. Time, friends.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Activities.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

That's it.

[Eileen (Caller)]

I got it.

[Marie Callender's Brand Representative]

That's it.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

No miracles.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Oh no.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

We don't wait for a feeling to come upon us and then we move on. Today you already moved on. The day after he died, you moved on. It's just incremental, tiny little movements. You got up and did your life without him. That's moving on. If you mean moving on so you don't feel bad if you liked him. That never happens. You're always going to feel a little bad if you liked him. If you didn't like him, you're going to feel relief. But if you liked him, then, yeah, there's always going to be some remnants, no matter what. That's just life. Yes.

[Eileen (Caller)]

No, you're you. I like what you said about the incremental small movements.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You can't see it. It's so incremental.

[Eileen (Caller)]

I definitely loved him.

[Podcast Host]

Well, then.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Then it's a little harder.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Time like this would be good. If you couldn't stand him, he'd be better off. But then you would have missed all those beautiful years.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Right. Right. Well.

[Podcast Host]

So the price you pay for loving

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

him and for him loving you is that you're gonna miss him.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

So time, friends, activities.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Activities that could be hobbies.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

It doesn't have to be other people. It can be physical, mental activities. Start competing in chess, whatever.

[Eileen (Caller)]

I understand. Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

It's both distraction and your brain learning something new.

[Podcast Host]

It's very good.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

When we had a big loss to put ourselves in a situation where our brains learn something new that makes us get deeper and healthier faster.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Right. The healthy part, like remembering to eat food.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Yeah, that'll get better with time.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Well, what's your favorite food in the morning? What's your favorite breakfast?

[Eileen (Caller)]

Well, scrambled eggs, I suppose. Scrambled eggs? Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

With what?

[Eileen (Caller)]

Oh, just that. Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

No toast?

[Podcast Host]

Drooling with butter?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

No toast, no.

[Eileen (Caller)]

But, you know, I might try that.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Oh, my God. I don't know how you do without the toast. Or English muffins. Come on. Thomas's English muffins. Raisin English muffins. Try that. Lunchtime. What's your favorite food?

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[Eileen (Caller)]

These sticks. I really. I really have to get. I have to navigate this whole, go to the grocery store and get the groceries. I never had to do that.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You know, when Covid hit was the last time I went grocery shopping. Yes, I have it delivered. I sit there every Monday morning, as I did today, and I go through order again, and it comes to my house.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Yes, I need to do that. I've pretty much signed up. I just need to kind of figure out if I want to pay the 995 to have it delivered, if I want to do the curve.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

It's worth it in your mindset, sweetheart. It's worth it.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna do that. You.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You should make life a little easier for yourself. Come on.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Yes. Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I consider it a way to treat myself well.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Well. And, you know, the physical part of this grief, it can. It can impact. Well, it has impacted me. You know, of course.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

That's why we need to respect time to tap into friends. I mean, there were times when I got widowed, I would just call a friend, can you Talk for about 10 minutes and just talk about stuff? And that would be good. And then I started taking on a lot of activities, which I loved doing. And there's a certain amount of freedom you have now to take on a lot of activities that you might not have because you were busy being a wife.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Correct.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

So you're a little freed up, and that sounds terrible, but you are.

[Eileen (Caller)]

No, I understand what you're saying. M plus 2. I recently just retired Well, I retired on the day that my husband went into the hospital.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Oh, that's great timing. Yeah. Wow.

[Eileen (Caller)]

So I'm not really used to being retired yet.

[Podcast Host]

So you lost your job and your

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

husband all in one week. Yay. See how that you really got crunched on both sides.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Yeah, I feel.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Do you want to go back to work? Do you miss work?

[Eileen (Caller)]

Actually, I did a contract with my. I work for family. Husband and wife, son. And they're letting me allowing me to do contractual work for whatever I want to do. Each.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Nice.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Just to kind of

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

nice. Okay. You're beginning, sweetheart. We call this moving forward.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

It just doesn't feel good.

[Eileen (Caller)]

No, it doesn't.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

No. And it won't for quite a while tolerate that. But you're doing everything right except the food. So don't piss me off. Order some food. You can order some ready made things.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Do you like roast chicken?

[Eileen (Caller)]

Well, you know, I've heard your ads on. You know, I don't want to. You know, I've listened to you for a while. Yes. I know things that you.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

I'm really good at roast chicken. Now. Do you want to hear my recipe?

[Eileen (Caller)]

I would love to.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Okay. You get a whole chicken that's minimal, three and a half pounds. And then you get one of those sort of baking dishes. You cut up a lemon and jam it into the chicken. That really makes it moist. Okay. Then you cut up potatoes, carrots, onions. I do mushrooms, whatever you'd like. And you mix, wash them, of course. You mix them up with some olive oil. Put them all over the bottom of the pan. Put the chicken that now has salt and pepper all over it and butter. You melt some butter and. And slather it all over the chicken top. Cause it then takes nice and crispy looking and you just jam that in the oven at 425. Do not put convection. Just put regular bake.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

If you put convection, the whole damn thing is gonna burn. I know that. Cause I did that twice. Ha. Takes me a while to learn. So it's 425 for an hour and a half. And then stick your temperature thingy in there so it's 165. And that is going to be your yummiest all in one plate dinner. Take you 15 minutes to cut everything up and jam it into the oven.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Okay.

[Podcast Host]

I'd like you to come back to

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

me after you make this and tell me how great it was. Okay.

[Eileen (Caller)]

Okay. Thank you, Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You're very welcome. Eileen.

[Podcast Host]

My number 1-800-375-2872 if you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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