Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast Episode Title: Ways You Are Letting Your Teens Hurt Themselves
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: November 15, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger discusses five key parenting mistakes that inadvertently allow teens to harm themselves emotionally, mentally, and socially. Drawing from Timothy Deal's article on AllProDad.com, she illuminates how modern pressures and parental decisions shape the well-being of teenagers. Dr. Laura emphasizes the importance of conscious, courageous parenting and provides practical advice for families navigating the challenging adolescent years.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Allowing Teens to Isolate Themselves

[00:44]

• Dr. Laura stresses that while everyone needs solitude sometimes, chronic isolation in teens leads to anxiety, depression, and even substance abuse.
• She urges parents to foster family interactions and community involvement (e.g., church, sports, outings) to open up social opportunities for their teens.
• Quote:

  "I'm talking about isolation that results in a lot of anxiety, depression, substance abuse. You can't mandate your kid have friends, but you can have a family life that opens it up for your children to interact."
  (Dr. Laura, 01:40)

2. Allowing Excessive Phone and Screen Time

[02:39]

• Dr. Laura recalls her own shock at how much time teens now spend on electronic devices.
• Citing the American Academy of Children and Adolescent Psychiatry, she highlights the average teen's screen usage—around nine hours a day—and calls on parents to set and enforce strict limits.
• She encourages keeping screen time under four hours daily and warns about the disconnect from reality such usage causes.
• Quote:

  "Teens spend about nine hours a day on screens. That can't be right. But it is. It's probably more, maybe even more in your home. ... I would keep it under four. In a whole day. Under four, please. It's not good for kids."
  (Dr. Laura, 04:14)

3. Permitting Disrespectful Behavior

[07:40]

• Dr. Laura observes a rise in disrespectful teens and insists that empathy and honoring elders are essential lessons.
• She shares a memorable story:

  "The father who walked in on the teenage boy giving lip to the mom, twirled him around, grabbed his shirt and said, 'you will never talk to my woman like that again.' That boy learned respect right then and there. Didn't require yelling, screaming, punishing, just informing."
  (Dr. Laura, 08:25)

• She underscores that disrespect is often a sign of immaturity and the need for differentiation, but it's not acceptable and should be met with calm, clear boundaries.
• Advice: Connect teen privileges and cooperation in family life to respectful behavior.

4. Preventing Teens from Struggling

[10:02]

• Many parents, Dr. Laura says, rob their teens of growth by swooping in on struggles, completing projects for them, or shifting blame.
• She stresses the life-or-death importance of perseverance, personal responsibility, and learning through failure.
• Quote:

  "If your kid does not learn to take responsibility, when your kid does not learn to struggle, when your kid does not learn to persevere, how in the hell are they going to have a good life?"
  (Dr. Laura, 10:45)

5. Encouraging Conformity Over Integrity

[11:02]

• Dr. Laura reveals her surprise at how often parents support conformity out of fear of social judgment.
• She implores parents to encourage good decisions (even if unpopular), referencing an anecdote about a father buying inappropriate jeans for his young daughter out of guilt or fear.
• Quote:

  "We need to encourage good decisions, not popular ones. It may result in some short term pain, but there's long term gain. Our goal is to raise good people, not popular ones."
  (Dr. Laura, 11:28)

• Memorable moment: Dr. Laura intervenes in a store when she sees a father about to buy low-cut jeans for his daughter:

  "I walked over to him and I said, 'you're really going to get those for her?' ... What did pants that low to her crotch teach her? Is okay to project herself and teach the boys who are older when they look at her what she's advertising."
  (Dr. Laura, 12:52)

Notable Quotes

• On isolation:

  "Make sure the family is not isolating so the kids have opportunity to be away from screens, away from their rooms, doing fun things, some with family and develop friendships and activities."
  (Dr. Laura, 01:58)

• On screen time:

  "It's so ingrained that they use it for everything ... Now, according to the American Academy of Children and Adolescent Psychiatry ... teens spend about nine hours a day on screens."
  (Dr. Laura, 03:24)

• On disrespect:

  "Being disrespectful should not be acceptable and sending somebody to their room, taking away their phone, isn't it? It's a lot of shaming and requiring before there are going to be the normal perks."
  (Dr. Laura, 09:32)

• On struggle:

  "Allow them to struggle. Don't swoop in, protect your teen. It's understandable that you want to. But if you're protecting your kid by pointing fingers at someone else, forget that."
  (Dr. Laura, 10:05)

• On parenting and popularity:

  "This is why parenting a teen is challenging. We need to encourage good decisions, not popular ones. ... Our goal is to raise good people, not popular ones."
  (Dr. Laura, 11:28)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:44] - Episode introduction, theme, and why parenting teens is challenging today.
• [01:40] - The dangers of allowing teens to isolate.
• [02:39] - The impact of excessive screen time and Dr. Laura's recommendations.
• [07:40] - Addressing disrespect and the importance of honoring elders.
• [10:02] - The necessity of allowing teens to struggle and build resilience.
• [11:02] - The risks of encouraging conformity and the importance of fostering strong values.

Takeaways

• Parental Engagement is Critical: Teens need structured opportunities for connection, real-life challenges, and guidance more than ever.
• Hard Lines, Compassionate Reasons: Dr. Laura advocates for firm boundaries set lovingly, making it clear that these are rooted in care for the child’s long-term wellbeing.
• It's Tough But Worth It: The episode reassures parents that standing up for what’s best, not what’s easiest or most popular, is the hard but necessary side of love.

Closing Remark

Dr. Laura wraps up by reminding listeners that conscious, courageous, and compassionate parenting is non-negotiable for raising healthy, resilient, and responsible young adults. She encourages parents to review their boundaries and parenting choices with open eyes and a firm heart.

For additional insights, visit DrLaura.com or listen to her daily show on SiriusXM Triumph.