Weakness Has Wreaked Havoc in Evelyn's Life

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Weakness Has Wreaked Havoc in Evelyn's Life"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host/Author: Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM
• Description: Consistently ranked as the most listened to podcast in Kids & Family + Parenting, Dr. Laura Schlessinger offers no-nonsense advice infused with a strong sense of ethics, accountability, and personal responsibility. Her daily radio program is heard exclusively on SiriusXM Triumph 111.
• Episode: Weakness Has Wreaked Havoc in Evelyn's Life
• Release Date: August 4, 2025

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Introduction

In the episode titled "Weakness Has Wreaked Havoc in Evelyn's Life," Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a deeply personal and emotionally charged call from a listener named Evelyn. The episode delves into complex family dynamics, marital strife, and the importance of personal strength in overcoming adversity.

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Evelyn's Call: A Fractured Family Dynamic

Evelyn begins her call seeking guidance on tumultuous relationships involving her mother-in-law and husband. Dr. Laura facilitates the conversation by first gathering essential background information.

• Dr. Laura: "How old are you? How old is your husband? How long have you been married?" (00:57)

Evelyn explains that she and her husband, both 41, have been together for 17 years and married for 12 years. She highlights that prior to marriage, her relationship with her mother-in-law was harmonious, which sets the stage for the ensuing conflict.

• Evelyn: "I have an issue with my mother in law and my husband." (00:49)

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The Catalyst: Unplanned Pregnancy and Marital Strain

The crux of Evelyn's predicament stems from an unexpected pregnancy during her dating period. Her husband, Brandon, reacted negatively, expressing unpreparedness for fatherhood to his mother, which escalated tensions.

• Evelyn: "He wasn't happy about it... [and] Brandon told his mom that he's not ready to be a father. He didn't want to do this." (02:06)

Evelyn recounts how this revelation led her to end the relationship, underscoring the breakdown in trust and communication.

• Evelyn: "I immediately broke up with my husband... I can't believe that he ran and told her things without discussing it with me." (03:41)

Dr. Laura probes further into the decision-making process, revealing Evelyn's acknowledgment of a misstep in choosing her partner under familial pressure.

• Dr. Laura: "So what, may I ask, did you expect was going to change after the marriage?" (01:35)

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Rebuilding and Relapsing Trust

Despite the rocky start, Evelyn and Brandon attempted to mend their relationship, especially after Brandon severed ties with his mother during Evelyn's subsequent pregnancy. Their life seemed to stabilize until external pressures resurfaced.

• Dr. Laura: "So how can I help you, by the way? Did you have more kids with him?" (06:02)
• Evelyn: "Yes, we had one more." (07:04)

However, the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic brought Brandon's ailing father back into the fold, leading to a temporary reconciliation with his mother. This fragile peace was disrupted again when Evelyn's mother-in-law overstayed her welcome, turning a temporary arrangement into a prolonged three-year ordeal.

• Evelyn: "Covid happened, and his mom said she wanted to move closer to us... a couple months turned into three years, and she turned my home." (08:38)

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Dr. Laura's Intervention: Confronting Personal Weakness

Evelyn confesses her feelings of weakness, admitting that her inability to set firm boundaries with her mother-in-law has exacerbated her life's chaos.

• Evelyn: "And the thing is that I hate to say this about myself, but I'm weak. And I let her in because I didn't want..." (08:45)

Dr. Laura doesn't mince words, emphasizing that personal strength is crucial for initiating meaningful change.

• Dr. Laura: "The price for being weak is your current life." (08:54)

She urges Evelyn to take decisive action, highlighting that waiting to become strong before making tough decisions is a futile approach.

• Dr. Laura: "You don't have to be strong to make a strong decision. All you have to do is be committed to doing something smarter, better." (09:04)

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Practical Advice: Legal and Emotional Empowerment

Dr. Laura advises Evelyn to seek legal counsel to understand her rights and options, reinforcing that knowledge itself is an act of strength.

• Dr. Laura: "The first thing you ought to do is just go to an attorney and find out what your options are. Legally, financially." (10:52)
• Dr. Laura: "Once you have information, that in of itself is an act of strength." (11:21)

She underscores the importance of informed decision-making as a pathway to personal empowerment and eventual strength.

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Conclusion: Embracing Change for a Better Future

Evelyn acknowledges the validity of Dr. Laura's advice, recognizing that empowering herself to make strong decisions is essential for altering her life's trajectory.

• Evelyn: "You're right. Thank you." (10:47)

Dr. Laura concludes by reiterating the necessity of taking decisive steps to foster personal growth and stability.

• Dr. Laura: "From this moment, you get to decide what the rest of your life is going to be like." (11:43)

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Key Takeaways

• Personal Strength: The episode emphasizes that personal strength is not a precondition for making strong decisions; rather, it is cultivated through the act of making those decisions.

• Communication and Trust: Effective communication and mutual trust are foundational in relationships, and breaches can have long-lasting effects.

• Legal and Practical Steps: Seeking professional advice and understanding one's rights are crucial steps in addressing familial and marital conflicts.

• Empowerment Through Information: Knowledge empowers individuals to take control of their circumstances and make informed decisions that lead to personal growth and improved life quality.

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Notable Quotes

• Dr. Laura Schlessinger: "The price for being weak is your current life." (08:54)

• Evelyn: "I made the wrong choice in marrying him." (03:53)

• Dr. Laura Schlessinger: "You don't have to be strong to make a strong decision. All you have to do is be committed to doing something smarter, better." (09:04)

• Dr. Laura Schlessinger: "If you want something to change, you're going to have to move out." (09:20)

• Dr. Laura Schlessinger: "Keeping ignorant is why people stay weak." (11:43)

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Final Thoughts

This episode serves as a poignant reminder of the complexities involved in familial and marital relationships. It underscores the importance of personal accountability, the courage to make difficult decisions, and the transformative power of seeking knowledge and professional guidance. Dr. Laura Schlessinger's no-nonsense approach provides listeners with actionable advice to navigate similarly challenging life situations.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

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[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Evelyn, welcome to the program.

[Evelyn]

Thank you, Dr. Laura. I really appreciate you taking my call today.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Thank you. How can I help?

[Evelyn]

I. I have an issue with my mother in law and my husband.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, let's go back. How old are you? How old is your husband? How long have you been married?

[Evelyn]

I'm 41. I've been with my husband for about 17 years.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And how old is your husband?

[Evelyn]

He's also 41.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And you said been with, does that mean married?

[Evelyn]

Yes, we've been married for 12 years. Total 17 years together.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

So you had a lot of dating time to know about his mom?

[Evelyn]

Yes, I did.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

So what, may I ask, did you expect was going to change after the marriage?

[Evelyn]

Well, it's okay if I can explain a little bit.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

No, I didn't ask you to explain. I asked you to tell me what you thought was going to change when you were married. You already sort of knew her, so I'm just wondering. Just tell me. I thought what would change is.

[Evelyn]

Honestly I didn't think anything would change because I thought that my husband and my mother in law, they both had a great relationship. I had a great relationship with her until some things had happened before we got.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

What did you do that made your mother. Well, you're going to have to explain more because people don't just flip. I had a great relationship, was really nice. He had a great relationship. It was really nice. It must have been cataclysmic what happened. So what happened?

[Evelyn]

Okay, so this is what happened during the time that my husband and I were dating. I became pretty pregnant unexpectedly and we knew what we were doing. So it, it is what it is. I became pregnant. He wasn't happy about it. And Brandon told his mom that he's not ready to be a father. He didn't want to do this. This was just too much for him. And that's when the problem started. His mother called me and said, you know what? I need you to take care of that issue, and I'll pay for it. So when that was said, I immediately broke up with my. My husband. We were dating. I broke up with him, went back home and said, I'm not doing this. I can't believe that these. Those words came out of her mouth. I can't believe that he ran and told her things without discussing it with me. And that flipped the entire relationship because, you know, he told his family all.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Of these and, and nonetheless, you decided it was a good plan to marry a man who did that as opposed to, say, an adoption.

[Evelyn]

I. I made the wrong choice. I made the wrong choice in marrying him. I know I did. I did it because I. My family were pressuring me in a way to, you know, you have to get married. You should be with him.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

So your family was press. His family was pressuring him?

[Evelyn]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

So it was even Steven on both sides.

[Evelyn]

It was.

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[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

So how can I help you, by the way? Did you have more kids with him?

[Evelyn]

Yes, we had one more.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Was that another accident or did you plan was planned.

[Evelyn]

Once we worked through all of those issues, my husband cut her off while I was pregnant. We. He said, I'm sorry for what I did. I shouldn't have done what I did to you. He cut her off. We built a life together. Everything was great during that time. He cut her and his. Unfortunately, his dad had cancer, and his dad wanted us to get back into the family. And, you know, so we did that. We ran to him and made sure that we were there during this time. And his family also got to see our first. Our first child because we had cut them all off. And then we kind of started to build a relationship again because ultimately the dad passed away. And, you know, so we just wanted to, you know, reconnect and, you know, build this family bond again. Well, it turned sour once again because after we built this great bond, everything was great. Covid happened, and his mom said she wanted to move closer to us, which, you know, which we thought would be great because we don't have any family close by. And she asked if she could move in for a couple months while she found a home. Well, a couple months turned into three years, and she turned my home.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Man, you make one decision after another. That's really fascinating.

[Evelyn]

Yeah. And the thing is that I hate to say this about myself, but I'm weak. And I let her in because I didn't want.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, Evelyn, Evelyn. The price for being weak is your current life.

[Evelyn]

Yeah, it's chaotic.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

The only way your current life will change is for you to make stronger decisions. If you don't it won't change. Demanding your husband do it is not going to work. We've already seen what that man does.

[Evelyn]

And he doesn't do anything.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

So yes, Evelyn, I don't want to hear one complaint about your husband. The day he ran to his mommy and they decided you should kill the baby was the day they should have been done. And your whole life would have been different.

[Evelyn]

You're right.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

So if you want something to change, you're going to have to move out. Your kid's what, 17 now?

[Evelyn]

16.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

16. Maybe you move out and take him and go to your parents house and then we'll deal with the legal aspects. But nothing's going to change unless you get to make a strong decision, whether you're strong or not. You see, you don't have to be strong to make a strong decision. All you have to do is be committed to doing something smarter, better. Scare the crap out of yourself is part of it, but so what? At least you know you're doing something smarter, better. And the more smarter, better decisions you make, the stronger you get to be eventually. But if you. You can't wait for yourself to get strong before you make a strong decision, it won't ever happen. You have to make the decisions which then change your strength.

[Evelyn]

You're right. Thank you.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

You're welcome. So this would be something like, honey, she's either out in a month or I'm out in a month. And then we can fight over custody. Yeah, but you have to mean it. Which means you go to an attorney in advance and find out what all your rights and options are. So first thing you ought to do is just go to an attorney and find out what your options are. Legally, financially.

[Evelyn]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Then you'll have information. Once you have information, that in of itself is an act of strength. Keeping ignorant is way people stay weak. If they don't get any information, then they can use that as an excuse. See what I mean?

[Evelyn]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, so you're about halfway through your life now. From this moment, you get to decide what the rest of your life is going to be like.

[Evelyn]

Yep, you're right. Thank you.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

You're very welcome. I'm Dr. Laura Schlesinger. My number, 1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the Dr. Laura stamp of approval. Visit drlaura.com Click on sponsors to take advantage of the special discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you.

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