When Can Teens Make Their Own Decisions?

Summary

---

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – "When Can Teens Make Their Own Decisions?"

Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Air Date: September 4, 2025
Episode Theme: Navigating Parental Boundaries as Teens Transition to Adulthood

---

Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura fields a call from Madeline and her mother, addressing the perennial struggle between teenage independence and parental authority. As Madeline prepares to leave for college, she and her mother grapple with questions about autonomy, specifically regarding social media and ear piercings. Dr. Laura dispenses her characteristic straightforward advice—blending respect for family values with practical compromise—and explores when teenagers should make their own decisions versus honoring household rules.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Social Media Boundaries (01:48–03:05)

• Caller Context: Madeline, 18, is about to leave for out-of-state college. Her mother prohibits her from using social media.

• Dr. Laura’s Stance: Firmly sided with Madeline’s mom, arguing there’s no positive aspect of social media for young adults in terms of academics, mental health, or real social interaction.

  • Quote [02:07]:
    “There's nothing constructive about social media... There's no benefit to it whatsoever. So I'm with her.”
    —Dr. Laura

• Challenge to Madeline: Dr. Laura offers to reconsider if Madeline can present legitimate benefits of social media through her own research.

  • Quote [02:55]:
    “If you can come up with one or two benefits of social media, I'll listen and I'll change my mind.”
    —Dr. Laura

---

2. The Earring Debate (03:05–09:59)

• Caller Context: Madeline wants a second ear piercing; her mother disapproves, associating certain earring styles with a negative image.

• Mother’s Concern: Worries about "trashy" appearance, imagining her daughter wants to wear unconventional jewelry (long bars or tubes).

  • Quote [03:37]:
    “To me, it kind of looks kind of trashy because I know that she's going to be wanting to put like one of those long, like, tubes in her ear, and I just don't like the way that it looks.”
    —Madeline’s Mom

• Clarification: Madeline wants a simple second piercing, not the more dramatic earring styles her mom fears.

• Dr. Laura’s Personal Disclosure: Reveals she herself has two ear piercings and wears simple diamond studs, underscoring the normalcy of the request.

---

3. When Should Teens Make Their Own Decisions? (08:04–10:00)

• Dr. Laura’s Core Principle: As long as Madeline remains financially dependent on her parents, she should show respect and comply with reasonable parental preferences—especially regarding minor, non-destructive issues.

  • Quote [08:04]:
    “When you are totally financially dependent on your mother and you are your father, then I believe it is appropriate for you to show respect for minor things that aren't life and death and not dangerous and destructive.”
    —Dr. Laura

• Advice to Madeline: Wait until full independence to make personal style choices that conflict with her parents' values.

  • Quote [08:30]:
    “In four years you'll be out of college. You'll be on your own. You can put holes all over your body, but right now it's just nice to show respect... It seems like a small thing to make them happy.”
    —Dr. Laura

• Path to Compromise: Suggests a middle ground—two holes per ear are okay if Madeline agrees to wear more traditional jewelry. Mom concedes to this arrangement.

  • Quote [09:45]:
    “So mom's okay with two holes in each ear as long as you are a little more old fashioned about what you stick in them. Is that a compromise you can handle?”
    —Dr. Laura

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dr. Laura’s Unfiltered Assessment of Social Media:
  [02:07] “There's nothing constructive about social media... There's no benefit to it whatsoever.”
• On the Importance of Respect During Dependence:
  [08:04] “It is appropriate for you to show respect for minor things that aren't life and death and not dangerous and destructive.”
• Encouraging Family Compromise:
  [09:45] “Is that a compromise you can handle?”

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:48] – Introduction of Madeline and her mother; presenting the social media issue
• [02:07] – Dr. Laura’s critique of social media
• [03:05] – Transition to the earring debate
• [03:37] – Mom's strong feelings about “trashy” earring styles
• [04:14] – Madeline clarifies her intent—simple piercing, not dramatic styling
• [08:04] – Dr. Laura’s guideline: Respect while financially dependent
• [09:45] – Reaching a practical compromise on piercings and jewelry style

---

Episode Takeaways

• Respect for Parents: Teens should abide by reasonable household standards when still financially dependent.
• Room for Compromise: Small acts of respect—like traditional earring choices—can maintain family harmony until independence is achieved.
• Empowering Teens: Dr. Laura respects Madeline's ability to research and advocate but places value on deferring to parents in minor matters.

---

Tone & Style

Dr. Laura’s advice is firm, unapologetic, and practical, peppered with direct language and personal anecdotes to illustrate her points. The episode’s tone is empathetic yet clearly places the responsibility on young adults to respect the rules of those supporting them—emphasizing accountability and the importance of measured autonomy.

---

Transcript

[A]

Hey everybody, it's Babs from Brunch with Babs. And do I have a tip for you. If you share my passion for classic style and joyful living, you're gonna love Birch Lane. Their timeless furniture and decor is carefully crafted to bring joy to your home for years to come, just like the memories you make there. Plus it's delivered fast and free. Shop my hand picked Birch Lane collection and more classic [e-mail].

[B]

Well this is pretty cool. When you switch to Mint Mobile's super great 3 month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month you get to BYOE bring your own everything. Yep, when you switch from your old wireless plan to Mint Mobile's 5G network, you can bring your phone and your number with you. But you won't be bringing our jaw dropping monthly bills and and unexpected overages. All Mint Mobile plans come with high speed data, unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. And new Mint Mobile customers can snag a three month plan for just 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com drlaura that's mintmobile.com drlaura upfront payment of $45 required, equivalent to $15 a month limited time. New customers offer for the first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111 mom and Madeline welcome to the program.

[C]

Hi, yeah, I'm here with my mom and I'm an 18 year old who's about to go out of state for college. But my mom still doesn't think I should be able to have social media. And so we were wondering what your opinion is about.

[B]

I agree with your mom. There's nothing constructive about social media. To help you with your schoolwork, to to help you with your mental health, to help you with a social life. There's nothing useful in it. There's no benefit to it whatsoever. So I'm with her. But I, I see written on the screen that that's not what you told the screener. Something about an earring.

[C]

Oh, that was another issue that we had. I had sent an email about that one.

[B]

Yes, I did read the email. Now that I'm reminded. Oh well, I'm against the social media so it's not beneficial. And if you're 18 then I think you can read beautifully and do some Research on it. And if you can come up with one or two benefits of social media, I'll listen and I'll change my mind.

[C]

Okay, the other.

[B]

So tell me about the earring.

[C]

Yeah, the earring. So I'm. I've been wanting to get a second ear piercing, and my mom has also been against that.

[B]

Wait a minute. Let me, let me understand. You mean like two holes in one ear?

[C]

Yeah, I have one and then two, and I want to get like a second one.

[B]

Okay. Mom.

[C]

Yes?

[B]

What. What is the problem you have with her having two holes in each ear?

[C]

I. I just, personally, I just don't like the way. To me, it kind of looks kind of trashy because I know that she's going to be wanting to put like one of those long, like, tubes in her ear, and I just don't like the way that it looks.

[B]

Yeah, what do you mean?

[C]

It's like a long silver bar, you know, that they just hang. I think it goes up at like an angle.

[B]

Okay, Madeline, explain to me what that's about because I don't understand it. Does that change the shape of your ears?

[C]

No, it's just like it's an earring style where it goes through two holes and it looks like a little bar thing. But that's not what I'm interested in doing. I just want a second person.

[B]

Okay, Christina, I have to tell you, we got to discern whether or not it's the two holes or the style of the earring because I've got two holes in each ear and frankly, I put. I've got little diamonds that I stick in there. Yeah, I've got two holes. So I just want you to know that. So you don't think I'm making a decision based on what I'm doing? Life doesn't have to be so complicated. Walmart helps you simplify. They're your one stop. Shop for daily essentials like groceries, snacks, school supplies. And thanks to Walmart pharmacy, you can count on them for your prescription needs too. Use the Walmart app to easily manage your family's medications and save time by getting prescriptions delivered right to your door. Switch your prescriptions to Walmart Pharmacy delivery Not available for all prescriptions and and exclusions apply. Did you know that skin care can start in the laundry room? The Dr. Laura program is happy to be partnering with our sponsor, All Free Clear laundry detergent. My peeps with kids are especially thrilled to use it because it's 100% free of dyes and perfumes. All Free Clear is the number one laundry detergent brand recommended for sensitive skin by pediatricians, dermatologists and allergists. For a clean you can feel good about, all you need is all free.

[D]

Clear it's Stock up September at Whole Foods Market. Find sales on supplements to power up for busy weeks. Plus pack your pantry with pasta, sauce and more everyday essentials. Enjoy quick Breakfast for Less with 365 by Whole Foods Market. Seasonal coffee and oatmeal. Grab ready to heat meals that are perfect for the office and save on versatile no antibiotics ever. Chicken breasts Stock up now at Whole Foods Market, in store and online.

[B]

I am a big fan of family dinners. Families who sit down to meals together and talk about their day have kidlets who are far less likely to get into sex, drugs, rock and roll. Even during the hectic back to school season, Suvi makes it simple to put a nutritious meal on the table. Serve chef designed kid friendly meals without shopping, prepping, cooking, very little cleanup. Built in refrigeration keeps your sous vide meals cool until you want them cooked before you head out for carpool. Pop one in, set the schedule. Let Souvi handle the rest. You'll be sitting at the soccer field while sous vide prepares your family's favorites. Discover why I have loved having Suvi as my partner in the kitchen for nearly five years. Save $129 plus get 16 free [e-mail] DrLora bring home your own Souvi today. That's S U V I-e.com DrLora they.

[E]

Say if you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together. At Amica Insurance, we know what matters most to you and we work even harder to protect it together. As a mutual insurance company, we're built for our customers and prioritize your needs. Amica Empathy is our best policy. Call 877-41-America and get a quote today.

[B]

Here's the deal as I see it in general, Madeline, when you are totally financially dependent on your mother and you are your father, then I believe it is appropriate for you to show respect for minor things that aren't life and death and not dangerous and destructive. So if your mom would prefer you not put weird things in your ears, what the hell. In four years you'll be out of college. You'll be on your own. You can put holes all over your body, but right now it's just nice to show respect for the people who are totally financially responsible for you. It seems like a small thing to make them Happy. So maybe two holes are okay, just not bizarre earrings. Whether you agree with it or not, because at your age, those are cute. Yeah, I get that there's a different style. However, if it makes her happy and shuts her up. Madeline, what the hell?

[C]

Okay.

[B]

You know what I'm saying?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Now, if you promise to put cute little studs in there, maybe mom will be okay with it.

[C]

Yes, I think I'm more open to that than putting something that's just like. I don't know, to me, it just doesn't look like a nice young lady would be wearing that.

[B]

Okay, Madeline, so mom's okay with two holes in each ear as long as you are a little more old fashioned about what you stick in them. Is that a compromise you can handle?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, good. Okay, well, you got one out of two. My number one, 800-375-2872. Check out my social media. On Facebook and Instagram, I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you sent me, too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com drlaura and instagram.com drlauraprogram.

[F]

So I was just parking my car and then I saw you. The Gecko. Huge fan.

[B]

I'm always honored to meet fans out in the wild.

[F]

The honor is mine. I just love being able to file a claim in under two minutes with the Geico app.

[B]

Well, the Geico app is top notch.

[F]

I know you get asked this all the time, but could you sign it?

[B]

Sign what? The app. Yeah, sure.

[F]

Oh, that means so much. Oh, it rubbed off the screen when I touched it. Could you sign it again?

[B]

Anything to help, I suppose.

[F]

You're the best.

[B]

Get more than just savings. Get more with Geico.