Why am I So Sad About Losing a Cat?

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – "Why am I So Sad About Losing a Cat?"

Introduction

In the June 22, 2025, episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," hosted by Dr. Laura Schlessinger on SiriusXM Triumph 111, Dr. Laura addresses a heartfelt concern from a caller grappling with the loss of her beloved cat. The episode delves into the emotional challenges of pet loss, societal perceptions of grief, and coping mechanisms to navigate through such a profound loss.

Listener's Dilemma: Grieving the Loss of a Pet

At the outset of the discussion (00:38), the caller, a 39-year-old long-time listener, shares her distress over having to euthanize her nearly 15-year-old cat due to mounting health issues. She expresses feelings of regression, fearing that her emotional responses are making her appear unprofessional at work. The caller articulates her struggle with the fluctuating nature of her grief, triggered by various situations both expected and unexpected.

Dr. Laura's Initial Response: Validation and Reassurance

Dr. Laura immediately validates the caller's emotions, stating, "You're not a baby" (02:35). She emphasizes that the deep bond humans form with their pets is akin to that of children, underscoring the legitimacy of the caller's feelings. Dr. Laura reinforces that grieving is a natural, human response and assures her that, with time, the intensity of her sorrow will naturally diminish.

Navigating Grief in a Professional Setting

The caller, who works in Human Resources, reveals her internal conflict between supporting others in their emotional expressions and managing her own grief without appearing unprofessional. Dr. Laura challenges the notion of compromising one's humanity for the sake of professionalism. She rhetorically asks, "So really, then let's only hire robots because no matter what, they will only be professional" (04:20), highlighting the importance of authenticity and emotional expression in the workplace.

Practical Advice for Coping with Loss

When pressed for more concrete advice beyond the reassurance that "it takes time" (07:41), Dr. Laura champions the importance of actively feeling and processing emotions. She bluntly advises, "Feel the feelings, woman" (08:01), urging the caller to embrace her grief rather than suppress it. This straightforward guidance serves as a catalyst for the caller to acknowledge and work through her emotions.

Addressing Continued Attachment and Fear of Neglecting a Younger Pet

The conversation shifts to the caller's concern about her younger cat, fearing that her preoccupation with grief might lead to neglect. Dr. Laura highlights the uniqueness of each pet relationship, noting that "some like a lot of interaction, some are happy to watch you get through your day" (08:41). She advises maintaining a balance in her attention, ensuring that her current pet continues to receive love and care, thereby fostering a healthy environment for both herself and her younger cat.

Encouragement to Seek New Therapeutic Relationships

Breaking her usual adherence to avoiding tips, another voice in the conversation suggests interacting more with her surviving cat as a therapeutic measure. The caller reflects on the natural progression of moving forward, contemplating the possibility of adopting another pet in the future to aid in her healing process.

Conclusion: Embracing Humanity Amidst Professionalism

The episode concludes with the caller expressing gratitude for Dr. Laura's support and the validation of her feelings. Dr. Laura reiterates the importance of maintaining one's humanity, even within professional realms, and encourages listeners to embrace their emotions as a pathway to healing.

Notable Quotes:

• Caller: "Last Thursday I had to make the very difficult decision to put my almost 15 year old cat down... My emotions kind of come and go." (01:06)

• Dr. Laura: "You're not a baby." (02:35)

• Caller 1: "So really, then let's only hire robots because no matter what, they will only be professional." (04:20)

• Dr. Laura: "Feel the feelings, woman." (08:01)

• Caller 2: "I feel like it... takes away from the professionalism." (04:03)

Key Takeaways:

1. Emotional Validation: Grieving the loss of a pet is a legitimate and natural emotional response, akin to the loss of a family member.

2. Authenticity Over Perceived Professionalism: Maintaining authenticity and allowing oneself to feel emotions is essential, even in professional settings.

3. Balanced Attention to Remaining Pets: It's crucial to continue providing love and attention to surviving pets to foster mutual healing.

4. Active Processing of Grief: Embracing and actively processing emotions rather than suppressing them facilitates healthier coping mechanisms.

5. Future Considerations: Opening oneself to the possibility of forming new bonds can aid in the healing process without diminishing past relationships.

This episode offers compassionate insights and practical advice for individuals navigating the complex emotions associated with losing a beloved pet, emphasizing the importance of authenticity, emotional expression, and balanced care in the journey toward healing.

Transcript

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[Dr. Laura]

Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on SiriusX. Nicole, welcome to the program.

[Nicole]

Hi, Dr. Laura.

[Caller 1]

Hi.

[Caller 2]

This is, this is surreal. I literally can remember sitting in the backseat of my mom's car as a young kid listening to you. And then here I am now at 39 calling in. So this is. Wow, this is amazing. My mom won't believe it. I'm calling because I almost feel like I'm being a baby, but. And I'll try not to cry because I don't want you to make me jump up and down out in the parking lot, so.

[Dr. Laura]

Yes, you do. Listen.

[Caller 2]

Last Thursday I had to make the very difficult decision to put my almost 15 year old cat down. Yeah. Several health issues that just over time kind of stacked up and the time kind of came. Saw it coming, but it always seems to be sooner than you think. My question for you, I mean, obviously I've listened to you for years and I've heard from other people. Everyone grieves differently, that kind of thing. And my emotions kind of come and go. Whether it's triggered by emotions or conversation or just out of nowhere. My question for you is I went back to work today. I work from home part of the time and I travel and go on site part of the time. Today was an on site day. Maybe not the best way to go back to work, but I find that I'm kind of just breaking down just by people saying like, how are you? And things like that. I'm just wondering how, if you have any advice on how to kind of get through that. Because I feel guilty. Not. I don't want to take.

[Dr. Laura]

Automatically get through that.

[Caller 1]

You will automatically get through that.

[Nicole]

Okay.

[Caller 1]

It will happen naturally.

[Caller 2]

Because I kind of just feel like being a baby crying over my cat at work.

[Dr. Laura]

You know, everybody who has lost an.

[Caller 1]

Animal feel exactly the way you do.

[Nicole]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

You're not a baby.

[Nicole]

Okay.

[Caller 1]

No. That's not even fair to say to yourself. Animals like especially cats and dogs, good God, we are so attached. It's like having a kid almost. Yes, there's real love attachment. I'm dependent on my dog. My dog's dependent on me. There's an interdependency of love and peacefulness and it's just an amazing thing to have an animal you care about who cares about you back. So that's a lot to lose. That's not a babyish reaction, that's a human one and quite adult. So this will, this will change on its own.

[Nicole]

Okay.

[Caller 2]

I just. Part of me is also nervous that it just makes me look, you know, unprofessional and stuff too. Okay.

[Caller 1]

Next time you go to work, say.

[Dr. Laura]

Raise your hand if you've ever lost a pet, everybody's hand will go up.

[Caller 1]

And they all understand how you feel.

[Dr. Laura]

Would you stop beating.

[Caller 1]

Who told you that? When you feel pain or loss and can't act like a robot that everybody's going to look down at you.

[Dr. Laura]

Where'd you learn that?

[Caller 2]

I didn't. I mean, and I. And to your point, I'm in human resources, so I'm always telling people to feel their feelings. I guess I just. When it comes to mine, I, I feel like it, I don't know, takes away from the professionalism.

[Caller 1]

So really, then let's only hire robots because no matter what, they will only be professional. They will not be human. People don't relate to you kindly because you're compulsively professional. They can respect you for being professional, but they like you for your humanity.

[Caller 2]

It's a good reminder.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

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[Caller 2]

And do you have any tips? Just in general with I know you said it just takes time and maybe that's. Maybe that's the answer I find out.

[Dr. Laura]

I'm not going to give you a.

[Caller 1]

Tip and undermine everything that I said. Why would I want to do that.

[Dr. Laura]

And undermine all the brilliant things I.

[Caller 1]

Just said to you?

[Caller 2]

No, understood.

[Dr. Laura]

Feel the feelings, woman.

[Caller 1]

We all do.

[Caller 2]

Okay. Can I ask one follow up question if that's okay?

[Caller 1]

Sure, sure.

[Caller 2]

I do have one other cat younger. Obviously I'm fearful that because I'm so caught up in my feelings with this older one, which I had a special relationship for. Like I said, it was my first cat as an adult or pet. As an adult I'm fearful I can't give her the love and attention that I gave the other cat. Is that in the past as well?

[Dr. Laura]

Every relationship with a dog or a.

[Caller 1]

Cat is different because the cat, in your case the cat's personalities are different.

[Dr. Laura]

Some like a lot of interaction. Some are happy to watch you get through your day.

[Nicole]

Right.

[Caller 1]

You just love to beat yourself up is inadequate. Good God woman.

[Caller 2]

You'Re right.

[Caller 1]

Okay, I'll give you a tip. I'll break my rule. Here's a tip. Interact with a cat that's not dead because it'll make you feel better.

[Nicole]

Okay.

[Caller 1]

That's my tip. That's your therapy pet the cat, Sleep with the cat, hug the cat. It'll make you feel better. You won't feel so alone and lost.

[Nicole]

Right.

[Caller 1]

So do it for you. That's my tip.

[Nicole]

Okay. That's easy.

[Caller 1]

And at some point, get another cat.

[Nicole]

Okay.

[Caller 2]

Someone actually just recently asked, like, do you think you'll ever get one? And when you're fresh in your head, you think, not anytime soon. But I said.

[Caller 1]

I said I wouldn't get another dog for a better part of a year.

[Dr. Laura]

And then one day I woke up.

[Caller 1]

And went, oh, gotta get a dog. That's it.

[Dr. Laura]

Gotta do it.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura]

And this just.

[Caller 1]

It happens naturally. You can't force it.

[Nicole]

Right? Okay.

[Dr. Laura]

And then when you go check out another kitty, you look at yourself in the mirror and you go, well, you've.

[Caller 1]

Been an idiot waiting this long. That's what I did. I've been an idiot waiting this long.

[Dr. Laura]

To get another doggy puppy.

[Nicole]

Okay.

[Caller 1]

All right.

[Caller 2]

Well, thank you so much for your time, and it's really been an honor having you in my life all these years. And I'm excited to tell my mom that I. I got to talk to famous Dr. Laura.

[Dr. Laura]

So as long as you say famous and not infamous. My number, 1-800-375-2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you sent me, too. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com drlaura and instagram.com DrLauraProgram.

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