Podcast Summary: "Why Are My Friends Excluding Me?"

Podcast Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Guest: Sabrina (14-year-old eighth grader) and her Mother
Release Date: May 12, 2025

Introduction

In the episode titled "Why Are My Friends Excluding Me?" Dr. Laura Schlessinger delves into the challenges faced by teenagers navigating social dynamics in school. Sabrina, a 14-year-old eighth grader, reaches out for guidance as she grapples with feelings of exclusion from her friend group. Joined by her mother, Sabrina seeks Dr. Laura's no-nonsense advice to better understand and address her social struggles.

The Issue: Feeling Excluded in School

Sabrina's Experience

Sabrina initiates the conversation by expressing her discomfort:

"In my friend group, I've been feeling excluded and I just been feeling like a spectator during lunch and nutrition and I've just been standing there and not really knowing how to socialize with them."
— Sabrina [01:40]

She reveals that her interactions with her friends have dwindled:

"Yeah, I've been able to talk to them. It feels like they've been talking to me. Less mess."
— Sabrina [02:05]

Contextual Background

Sabrina's mother provides additional context, explaining recent changes in Sabrina's school environment:

"There's been a lot of disruption with the school. And so she knew these kids, the girls, prior to the merging of two schools, basically. So where she went from having a 200 group of kids in her class, it got merged into the other school and now there's 400 of them."
— Mother [05:34]

This merger led to a larger, more impersonal school setting, potentially contributing to Sabrina's feelings of isolation.

Analyzing the Problem

Size of the Social Group

Dr. Laura questions the size of Sabrina's friend group within the larger school context:

"And we're talking about five or six. So when you're in with those five or six, what do those other girls do? They're left out."
— Dr. Laura [03:27]

With approximately 400 students in Sabrina's grade, the smallness of her current friend group stands in stark contrast, emphasizing the limited social circles she is navigating.

Impact of School Merger

The rapid transition from a smaller to a larger school may have left Sabrina clinging to familiar relationships amidst the chaos:

"She knew these kids, the girls, prior to the merging of two schools, basically."
— Mother [05:34]

This abrupt change likely disrupted existing friendships and made Sabrina feel out of place in the new, expansive environment.

Dr. Laura's Advice

Expanding Social Circles

Dr. Laura encourages Sabrina to seek new friendships beyond her current group:

"You may want to see if any of the other friend groups feel more comfortable because all the way through life, you're not going to have those five or six girls in your life for the rest of your life."
— Dr. Laura [03:46]

She emphasizes the transient nature of friend groups and the importance of exploring new connections:

"Feeling like it's these five, six or you're just miserable just isn't true. And it doesn't have to be that way."
— Dr. Laura [04:18]

Taking Initiative

Dr. Laura advises Sabrina to take proactive steps in building new relationships:

"Ask Audrey to come over. Ask Audrey to do something with you. Ask Audrey before lunch. Hey, got some stuff I'd like to talk to you about."
— Dr. Laura [09:20]

She likens making friends to fishing, highlighting the need for Sabrina to present something appealing to attract others:

"You can't just stand there with a metal hook and wonder why you're alone."
— Dr. Laura [11:07]

Addressing Self-Esteem and Body Image

Beyond social interactions, Dr. Laura touches on Sabrina's self-esteem issues related to her body image:

"In addition to the fact that you're having anxiety about your body and I'd much more want you to be concerned about your brain. So assuming your body will never be the perfect one you wish you had..."
— Dr. Laura [11:33]

She redirects Sabrina's focus towards her intellectual and personal aspirations:

"Tell me what you want to do with your brain for the rest of your life."
— Dr. Laura [12:00]

When Sabrina shares her ambition to become a Rockette:

"I want to use it to succeed... I want to use it to be a Rockette."
— Sabrina [12:03]

Dr. Laura supports her goal, encouraging her to pursue her passions:

"Okay. Why not? I go do the right thing."
— Dr. Laura [12:38]

Additional Insights

Mother's Perspective

Sabrina's mother shares her observations on Sabrina's behavior, linking it to the school's recent merger and Sabrina's struggles with calorie restriction:

"She's also been dealing with restricting her calories and we're getting her help with that."
— Mother [08:52]

This insight underscores the multifaceted challenges Sabrina faces, encompassing both social and personal health issues.

Emphasis on Quick Time Frames

Dr. Laura highlights the brevity of Sabrina's current experience:

"I've been with them for about a year now... That's hardly any time at all. Oh, my God, girl, that's a spit of time. It's tiny."
— Dr. Laura [05:41]

She reassures Sabrina that her current situation is temporary and encourages her to explore new social avenues.

Conclusion

Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides Sabrina with practical advice to overcome feelings of exclusion by expanding her social circles and focusing on her personal goals. By addressing both the immediate issue of social dynamics and underlying self-esteem concerns, Dr. Laura empowers Sabrina to take control of her social life and personal well-being. The episode serves as a valuable resource for listeners facing similar challenges, emphasizing the importance of adaptability, proactive engagement, and self-confidence in navigating teenage friendships.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• "I came up with that word. Feet gently slide in thanks to an invisible built in shoehorn."
  — Dr. Laura [00:00] (Note: Advertisement content)

• "You may want to see if any of the other friend groups feel more comfortable..."
  — Dr. Laura [03:46]

• "It's never going to be perfect. But tell me what you want to do with your brain for the rest of your life."
  — Dr. Laura [11:33]

• "I want to use it to succeed... Being a Rockette."
  — Sabrina [12:03]

Final Thoughts

This episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day" adeptly addresses the complexities of adolescent social life, offering actionable advice grounded in empathy and practical wisdom. Dr. Laura's approach underscores the importance of resilience, self-awareness, and proactive engagement in fostering meaningful relationships and personal growth.