Podcast Summary: "Why is My Preschooler Behaving This Way?"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
• Episode: Why is My Preschooler Behaving This Way?
• Release Date: June 3, 2025
• Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111

Introduction

In this episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, released on June 3, 2025, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a concerning behavioral shift in a preschool-aged child. Known for her straightforward advice on parenting and family dynamics, Dr. Laura delves deep into understanding and resolving the challenges faced by a parent grappling with their child's sudden change in behavior.

Caller’s Concern

At [00:35], a concerned parent reaches out to Dr. Laura, highlighting a significant shift in her 3.5-year-old daughter’s behavior. Initially, the child exhibited fierce independence during bedtime routines, eagerly participating in activities like choosing clothes, pajamas, turning on lights, and selecting books via an Echo device. However, "up until about two weeks ago, she has been fiercely independent with her bedtime routine" ([00:35]), the child began resisting these activities, notably refusing to turn on her light.

The parent explains, "we've allowed it. It's been great. It's been wonderful. And now all of a sudden, the last few days, she absolutely refuses to turn on her light" ([00:35]-[01:15]). In an attempt to address this, they've tried to limit certain freedoms, hoping it would encourage her to resume using the Echo devices, but to no avail.

Dr. Laura’s Initial Response

Dr. Laura quickly assesses the situation, questioning whether a traumatic event might have triggered this behavioral change. "Has something traumatic happen to her?" ([01:30]) she asks, recognizing that sudden behavioral shifts often have underlying causes. The parent reveals that the child was born with a congenital heart defect and underwent three surgeries in the past few weeks ([01:35]).

Understanding the gravity of the situation, Dr. Laura probes further to uncover any additional changes or stressors in the child's environment, such as new siblings, relocations, or other significant life events. Finding none, she advises maintaining the child's autonomy in certain areas while gently enforcing necessary routines.

Analyzing the Behavioral Shift

Dr. Laura emphasizes the importance of not forcing a three-year-old into rigid independence. "Encourage her to make independence at three years old. No, no, no. You encourage co-dependence. You encourage cooperation. You encourage sharing. You don't encourage a three-year-old to run her life" ([02:26]-[02:51]). She suggests that the parent's attempt to foster independence may have inadvertently led to the child's current resistance.

Recognizing the child's recent hospitalizations, Dr. Laura posits that the extended time in the hospital might have influenced her desire for control and autonomy. "I think it comes from her being in the hospital bed for so long is we wanted her to be able to do the things she wants to do" ([07:49]).

Recommendations for Parents

Dr. Laura advises a balanced approach, blending autonomy with appropriate boundaries. She suggests:

1. Facilitating Choice Within Limits:

   • "Do you want to pick the book or your clothes?" ([09:00]) By offering limited choices, parents can give the child a sense of control without overwhelming her with responsibilities.

2. Creating a Safe Space for Communication:

   • Engage in non-confrontational conversations to understand underlying feelings. For instance, "Yesterday you wanted to pick your clothes. Today you'd like me to pick your clothes. That's interesting." ([06:13])
   • Even if the child responds with uncertainty, this method can encourage her to open up over time.

3. Gradual Transitioning:

   • Compare the process to entering a swimming pool one toe at a time, emphasizing the importance of gradual changes rather than abrupt shifts.

4. Reevaluating Support Structures:

   • Reflect on the extent of support provided and whether it may have become too rigid, potentially hindering the child’s ability to adapt to new situations.

5. Exploring Emotional Underpinnings:

   • Consider whether the child's resistance is a manifestation of deeper emotional needs or fears, especially given her medical history.

Addressing Parental Emotions

Dr. Laura acknowledges the emotional turmoil parents may experience when their child exhibits unexpected behavior. She advises parents to manage their own feelings to effectively support their child. "You just want us to do everything. That's a hostile question. Even though you said it with a nicer attitude, dramatic changes generally means something happened" ([05:43]-[05:50]). By calming their own anxieties, parents can create a more supportive environment for their child.

Concluding Insights

Dr. Laura underscores the delicate balance between fostering independence and providing necessary guidance for young children. "You didn't do anything wrong. Your heart is always in the right place" ([09:23]). She encourages parents to remain flexible and responsive to their child's evolving needs, especially in the aftermath of medical challenges.

"It's too big a leap... transitions are important... So she may just want more mothering" ([08:24]-[08:35]). By adapting their parenting strategies, parents can help their children navigate changes more smoothly, ensuring both emotional support and the development of healthy autonomy.

Final Thoughts and Resources

Before concluding, Dr. Laura invites listeners to connect with her through various social media platforms for ongoing support and additional resources. "You can find me at facebook.com DrLora and instagram.com DrLauraprogram" ([09:57]).

For more insights and personalized advice, parents are encouraged to reach out to Dr. Laura at 1-800-375-2872.

Notable Quotes:

• Dr. Laura: "Encourage cooperation. You encourage sharing. You don't encourage a three-year-old to run her life." [02:26]
• Caller: "I think it comes from her being in the hospital bed for so long is we wanted her to be able to do the things she wants to do." [07:49]
• Dr. Laura: "Do you want to pick the book or your clothes so we have that. Things will be done for her and she can make decisions." [09:00]
• Dr. Laura: "It's too big a leap. I don't know about you, but when I get into a swimming pool, it's like literally one toe at a time." [08:24]

This episode provides valuable insights for parents navigating sudden behavioral changes in their young children, especially in the context of medical challenges. Dr. Laura's balanced approach emphasizes understanding, communication, and gentle guidance to foster both independence and emotional security in preschoolers.