Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail

Summary

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The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail
Date: January 6, 2026
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger explores the common phenomenon of New Year’s resolutions, breaking down why they so often fail and offering her insights into human nature, change, and motivation. Drawing on decades of experience, she discusses the psychology behind resolutions, why drastic changes rarely stick, and what actually works when trying to improve oneself.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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The Futility of New Year’s Resolutions

• Resolutions are Largely Ineffective:
  Dr. Laura begins by questioning why people feel pressured to make New Year's resolutions, emphasizing their low success rate:

  "Over 95% of the time [resolutions] will be dumped quickly. I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. I never have. I think they're silly because you don't follow through. Not even a handful of you follow through, so why bother?" (05:03)

• Resolutions as a Social Expectation:
  She points out that resolutions have become a social expectation, with people feeling “forced, coerced, expected” to make them, typically as a list.

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Human Discomfort with Change

• Fundamental Aversion to Change:
  Dr. Laura highlights a key aspect of human psychology:

  "Human beings are not comfortable with change...so when you slap yourself in the face with a major change...we're not comfortable with that." (04:38)

• Big vs. Small Changes:
  Small, non-disruptive habits are more likely to stick.

  • Example: “If you want to make a change that every Tuesday at 7am for five minutes, you’re going to do push ups, squats, rollover...you’re likely to keep that schedule up till the day you die because it’s kind of cute. It’s a nice little habit...We're okay with forming a new tiny habit. We're not okay with a middle or large one.” (05:06)

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Why Big Resolutions Fail

• Psychological & Physical Suffering:
  Dr. Laura explains that real change requires “giving up the familiar and suffering for it.” She notes both physiological (e.g., nicotine withdrawal) and psychological discomforts:

  "In order to make these big changes, there’s going to be psychological and or physical suffering...maintenance requires suffering too. Because there's always sacrifice and physiological or psychological consequences." (08:49)

• Suffering as the Gatekeeper of Change:
  She shares a memorable anecdote about a caller:

  "I told a guy...you have to accept suffering and you'll have to go through a significant amount of suffering before this gets better...The person...said, 'Well, forget that then. I don't want to go through any suffering.' Well, then stop beating yourself over the head and accept that you don't want to pay the price for change. And that's a decision that you're allowed to make." (09:36)

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The Importance of Motivation

• Change Has to Be Personal:
  Dr. Laura stresses that lasting change can’t be for external reasons, but must come from personal, internal motivation:

  “Truly, if you want to, change has to be for you. You have to make the decision that it is for you, and you really want to.” (10:46)

• Planning & Thinking Before Acting:
  She recommends that before making any change, one should reflect on the reasons and implications:

  “You have to think a lot about it before doing anything about it. Just think about it. What would it mean? Good, Bad? Indifferent? What would the change mean? What plan do I have to put together that would bring this to pass? Then you make the damn change. Then you figure out how to maintain it and turn it into a habit.” (11:08)

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Dr. Laura’s Personal Approach

• Incremental, Organic Self-Improvement:
  Dr. Laura reveals that she never makes New Year’s resolutions:

  “I have never made a New Year's resolution. Never. Maybe when I was a kid and I just don't remember. But not in adult form now, all year long, if there's something I want to do or be that's different, I do it. Then. Don’t put pressure on yourself that it has to happen in January.” (12:06)

• Reflection on Aging:
  She opens the episode with personal reflections on the passage of time, using an anecdote about kids’ perspective on aging and a clever binoculars metaphor:

  “[With binoculars] Now what do you see?...You know, like two inches in front of you. That's getting older. Whoa.” (03:02)

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Notable Quotes

• On the Reality of Resolutions:

  “Why in January do people feel forced, coerced, expected to make a New Year’s resolution, which over 95% of the time will be dumped quickly?” (03:50)

• On the True Price of Change:

  “Real change requires giving up the familiar and suffering for it.” (08:49)

• On Personal Motivation:

  "Change has to be for you. You have to make the decision that it is for you, and you really want to." (10:46)

• On Her Own Philosophy:

  “All year long, if there’s something I want to do or be that’s different, I do it. Then.” (12:06)

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Important Timestamps

• [03:02] – Metaphor of aging with binoculars, reflecting on perception of time
• [04:38] – Discomfort with change and example of small habits
• [05:03] – Resolutions as a social phenomenon and their lack of effectiveness
• [08:49] – The suffering involved in real change and why people avoid it
• [10:46] – The necessity of personal motivation for successful change
• [12:06] – Dr. Laura’s stance on self-improvement as a continual process

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Memorable Moment

• The Binoculars Analogy:
  Dr. Laura’s playful yet powerful illustration of aging using reversed binoculars is a standout, helping listeners visualize how time’s perspective shifts as we age. (03:02)

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Tone & Style

Dr. Laura’s delivery is frank, peppered with direct advice and wry humor. She doesn’t sugarcoat the inevitable challenges of change but empowers listeners to be honest with themselves about what they’re willing to endure for self-improvement.

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Takeaways

• Most New Year’s resolutions fail because they are made out of pressure, are too ambitious, and lack genuine internal motivation.
• Meaningful change requires both thoughtful planning and a willingness to experience discomfort.
• Small changes are easier to sustain, and new habits should start as manageable as possible.
• True, lasting improvement can begin at any time—not just January—and must be personally meaningful.

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Transcript

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

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Thank you for listening to my morning monologue brought to you by Golden Crest Metals, a new sponsor I want to welcome to my program find out how gold and silver can protect what you have worked so hard to build. Learn [e-mail] Protect. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM triumph and connect with me 24 [e-mail] every time I go to the pharmacy to recognize you, they go, what's your date of birth? So with people milling everywhere I go, January 16, 1919. 19. 1947. 47. It's a tough register on my. On my brain. So every January I'm facing pushing it back another year. Somebody brought up something very interesting to explain aging to young people who don't really understand it because they cannot imagine themselves older. I remember when I was a little kid in kindergarten or first grade, looking up at the tall teacher, the grown up tall teacher, and thinking, was she born that way? I didn't really understand at four or five that you're born microscopic and then eventually you grew up to be that. Because when you're four or five, you think you're going to be four or five for all eternity. You just don't get it. So somebody explained that they saw this in a movie where they're in the Swiss Alps on top of some parapet and there's binoculars and they tell the young person here, put the binoculars up. What do you see? Oh, miles and miles and miles and miles away. Miles. Okay, now turn the binoculars around. Now what do you see? You know, like two inches in front of you. That's getting older. Whoa. So why in January do people feel forced, coerced, expected to make a New Year's resolution, which over 95% of the time will be dumped quickly? I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. I never have. I think they're silly because you don't follow through. Not even a handful of you follow through, so why bother? So let's talk a little bit more about that. A good 2/3 of everybody thinks I should make resolutions. Not only that, they make it, as I said, plural. Resolutions can be anything from losing weight. It's never gaining weight. I can't understand that. Losing weight, getting out of debt, pursue some new hobby, Learn something new and get a better job, Socialize more, be nicer, Be this, be that, be the other thing. Okay, so there are a couple of aspects of this I'd like to bring to your attention. One, human beings are not comfortable with change. You've heard that on my program for over 50 years. Human beings are not comfortable. So when you slap yourself in the face with a major change in how you're going to spend your hours, How you're going to eat differently, sleep differently, read, watch movies differently, get a dog, not get a dog, whatever, huge things, get married, get divorced, huge changes, we're not comfortable with that. Now if you want to make a change that every Tuesday at 7am for five minutes, you're going to do push ups, squats, rollover. Rollover is what your dog does. You know, just roll over. I don't know what that does, but it's least movement. You're likely to keep that schedule up till the day you die because it's kind of cute. It's a nice little habit. Tuesdays at 7. I'm on the floor doing this. Five minutes. Neene. Done. We're okay with forming a new tiny habit. We're not okay with a middle or large one.

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

So that's one of the reasons resolutions fail. You're putting yourself in a position you are in no way going to like. And I have talked about change on this program every and I think profound depth. Because there will be no large change. I mean Tuesdays at 7am in the morning to do a couple of push ups, squats and rollover. There's no stress to that. There's no suffering to that. Real change requires giving up the familiar and suffering for it. Suffering even from a lack of nicotine. Your body actually physiologically suffers from that, from any kind of substance that has an addictive quality. So in order to make these big changes, there's going to be psychological and or physical suffering. And I told a guy that is a guy or a gal on the air sometime in November before my vacation. And I said, you have to accept suffering and you'll have to go through a significant amount of suffering before this gets better. And then intermittently, you might suffer because maintenance requires suffering too. Because there's always sacrifice and physiological or psychological consequences. Suffering necessary. And the person, I can't remember whether it was male or female said, well, forget that then. I don't want to go through any suffering. Well, then stop beating yourself over the head and accept that you don't want to pay the price for change. And that's a decision that you're allowed to make. Change is very hard. And most of the time when you look at change, you say, well, what exactly is it to me? Well, if you're not fat anymore, you'll be more attractive and healthier. You can be more physically active. I mean, there are benefits to being in good shape. Whatever days and years you have to, your life will be spent healthier and looking better. Sometimes, though, change is will somebody then like me? I'd like to look like a celebrity. And then my life will be wonderful. My spouse, my friend, my parents want me to change. Meaning it's for them or not. Changing is probably more painful than changing. You may be suffering more now than you would if you suffered through change. So truly, if you want to, change has to be for you. You have to make the decision that it is for you, and you really want to. Then you have to think a lot about it before doing anything about it. Just think about it. What would it mean? Good, Bad? Indifferent? What would the change mean? What plan do I have to put together that would bring this to pass? Then you make the damn change. Then you figure out how to maintain it and turn into a habit. Okay, that's pretty much it. I have never made a New Year's resolution. Never. Maybe when I was a kid and I just don't remember. But not in adult form now, all year long, if there's something I want to do or be that's different, I do it. Then. Don't put pressure on yourself that it has to happen in January. For me, January is something I have to get through because it's big numbers. My number one, 800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course. I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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