Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Episode: Why to Put Kids First After Divorce
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: September 14, 2025

Overview

This episode centers on the emotional complexities children experience after divorce, especially when parents begin new relationships that introduce blended family dynamics. Dr. Laura Schlessinger—renowned for her direct, ethics-driven advice—counsels a mother, her nine-year-old son (Colton), and addresses how post-divorce romantic decisions can impact children's wellbeing. The episode advocates for placing the needs of children above adult desires following a family breakup.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Colton's Experience and Feelings After Divorce

• Colton (9 years old) shares that his parents divorced when he was seven. He now splits time between his mom’s and dad’s homes.
• His mother is dating a firefighter who has two children, ages nine and seven.
• Colton admits to feeling "sad" about the divorce, and Dr. Laura highlights how sadness is natural, but points out the additional complexities and challenges that follow when parents move on with new partners.

Quote
Dr. Laura [04:04]:
"I think you're always going to be sad. That's natural. Now, mommy's got a boyfriend, he's got kids you have to deal with. It's not just the divorce... The divorce was the beginning of you having to deal with all the rest of this. And that's tough."

2. Parental Decisions and Their Impact

• Dr. Laura asserts that the difficult emotions children feel don't end with the divorce; rather, they are compounded when new partners and their children are introduced.
• She questions the wisdom of dating with young children at home, regardless of how “solid” or “wise” the adults believe themselves to have been.
• The discussion turns to the primary obligation of parents: safeguarding the emotional wellbeing of their children above adult romantic pursuits.

Quote
Dr. Laura [09:02]:
"It doesn't matter. None of that matters, okay? You're just bringing more chaos. Okay, doesn't matter that you need somebody—that's very secondary to your obligation to Colton, which is not to get emotionally subdivided with a boyfriend who has kids."

• Dr. Laura strongly recommends postponing cohabitation or remarriage until children are adults, emphasizing that children should not have to “compete” for their parent’s attention or adapt to a quasi-sibling rivalry in their own home.

Quote
Dr. Laura [11:04]:
"It was your choice to do this next step, and I'd ask you not to do it until he's 18."

3. Mother's Perspective and Response

• Colton’s mother highlights efforts to ease the transition, mentioning that she dated for a year without involving the children. She indicates that she and her new partner are seeking counseling about blending their families.
• She acknowledges Dr. Laura’s concerns and the validity of the points raised.

Quote
Mother [13:00]:
"Yes. Yeah, I definitely understand. And we've been seeking counseling from a psychologist about that, and I do not take it lightly..."

4. Children and Blended Families: Current vs. Future Challenges

• Colton says that, for now, he enjoys playing with his mother's boyfriend’s kids and feels fine about their relationship.
• Dr. Laura warns that temporary harmony doesn’t mean long-term ease—having playmates is different from living together full time with a blended family structure, and rivalry for parental time and authority can escalate.

Quote
Dr. Laura [12:00]:
"It's nice to play with those kids... but I was wondering if you think at all it might be different if you all lived in the same place... That escalates things. That gives that man power, and those kids have status, which I think at 9, we don't really understand."

5. Proactive Parenting and Final Thoughts

• Dr. Laura praises the mother’s efforts to listen and seek help, asserting the importance of anticipating future emotional complications rather than simply reacting to present feelings.
• She concludes that, ideally, divorced parents should date but not blend households until children are grown, keeping the child’s need for stability as the ultimate priority.

Quote
Dr. Laura [14:15]:
“What would I recommend? Everybody stays separate and for nine years they date. And then when the kids are up and out—get married. But right now, the focus needs to be on a kid who’s lost their parental unit and go[es] back and forth between adults who have new lives.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the cumulative sadness of divorce:

  Dr. Laura [04:04]:
  "It's not just the divorce. The divorce was the beginning of you having to deal with all the rest of this. And that's tough."

• On introducing new partners:

  Dr. Laura [09:02]:
  "You're just bringing more chaos... your obligation to Colton... is not to get emotionally subdivided with a boyfriend who has kids."

• On parenting priorities:

  Dr. Laura [11:04]:
  "It was your choice to do this next step, and I'd ask you not to do it until he's 18."

• On play vs. permanent blending:

  Dr. Laura [12:00]:
  "Having kids to play with is different than having them compete for your mom's attention in the house day after day. Kids cannot anticipate that. Adults have to."

Timestamped Segments

• [01:43] Caller Introduction: Colton and his mother join the show.
• [03:40] Colton Expresses Sadness: Dr. Laura draws out Colton’s feelings about the divorce and new family dynamics.
• [04:04] Dr. Laura on Post-Divorce Changes: Discusses how changes after divorce can be difficult for children, beyond the sadness of the divorce itself.
• [08:21] Mother Explains Her Perspective: Mom shares her approach to dating and protecting her son.
• [09:02] Dr. Laura Challenges Mother's Choices: Pushes back on reasoning for bringing a new partner into Colton’s life.
• [11:04] Dr. Laura’s Advice—Wait Until 18: Urges mother to hold off on blending families until Colton is an adult.
• [12:00] Discussion on Blended Family Complications: Dr. Laura explains why playdates are not the same as full-family blending.
• [13:13] Dr. Laura Praises Mother’s Effort: Commends Mom for her care but reasserts the core principle: put the child's needs first.
• [14:15] Dr. Laura’s Conclusion: Advocates for dating without household blending until kids are adults.

Summary

This episode offers a compelling, straightforward look at the ripple effects of divorce on children. Dr. Laura Schlessinger delivers her signature tough love, arguing that adults must make sacrifices to minimize the burdens placed on kids. Her advice to postpone creating blended families until after children are grown is grounded in compassion, pragmatism, and decades of experience, urging parents to delay their own gratification in favor of their children’s long-term emotional security.