Dr. Trish Leigh Podcast

Episode #196: Neuroscientist Explains Why You Can’t “Fix” Your Dopamine

Host: Dr. Trish Leigh
Date: November 16, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Trish Leigh, a cognitive neuroscientist, dismantles the myth of "fixing" your dopamine through control and self-discipline. She challenges the popular approach of relentless self-improvement, explaining how attempts at hacking, tracking, and micro-fixing our behaviors can actually fuel anxiety and compulsions. Dr. Leigh guides listeners on moving from a dopamine-fueled state of control to one of trust, stillness, and true healing, especially relevant in the context of compulsion-driven behaviors like pornography use.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Illusion of Control vs. True Healing

• Control Loop Defined:
  Dr. Leigh opens with the insight that what feels like self-discipline is often a dopamine-fueled perfectionism, not genuine progress.

  "Most people think that they need more control. Neuroscience says they need more trust. Because what feels like discipline is often just dopamine dressed up as perfectionism." (00:00)

• Micro-Fixes and Dopamine:
  Every small attempt to control or "fix" things provides a micro hit of dopamine. This creates a habit where safety is associated with activity, not peace.

• Chronic Stimulation:
  Many struggle to meditate, rest, or simply be still, not because of laziness, but due to withdrawal from constant stimulation.

Personal Anecdotes & Relatable Stories

• Dr. Cosmos Lee and the Dishwasher:
  Dr. Leigh recounts how her husband rushes to empty the dishwasher or clean up a stray dish out of anxiety, not anger.

  "One dish in the sink will send this man over the edge. It doesn't make him mad, per se, but it definitely gives him some anxiety. And I said to him, nobody's going to die if there's a couple dishes in the sink. But he said, I might." (03:30)

• Cleaning as Compulsion:
  She describes how fixing things that aren't broken—like vacuuming a single piece of dirt—illustrates the compulsion for micro control.

Brain Science Behind Compulsions

• Feedback Loop:
  The prefrontal cortex and amygdala create a cycle:
  Control → Tension → Temporary Relief → Control.

• Gripping the Shaking Glass Analogy:
  Trying to calm anxiety through more control is like gripping a shaking glass of water tighter; it only shakes more.

  "It's like trying to calm a shaking glass of water by gripping it tighter. The shaking only gets worse. Real change happens when you loosen the grip, when you relax the control." (06:20)

• Guitar String Analogy:
  The brain is likened to a guitar: too much tension (control) loses harmony; the right tension creates resonance.

  "If you tighten the strings too much, you lose the harmony. You even risk snapping a string like I did. Loosen them into the right tension and you get resonance. That's the difference between self control and self coherence." (07:25)

Moving from Control to Coherence & Flow

• Self-Coherence Over Self-Control:
  True healing is about finding coherence—allowing states of flow, where dopamine harmonizes with one’s purpose instead of hijacking attention.

  "It's stillness that creates this change. It's not the absence of progress, it's the state where progress becomes effortless." (08:15)

• Flow State:
  The “sweet spot” where motivation is balanced and sustainable, enabling creativity and true well-being.

Supernormal Brain Hacks – Practical Steps

1. Interrupt the Control Loop:

   • Become aware of the urge to control (e.g., refreshing inbox, cleaning, checking stats).
   • Pause for 5 seconds and label the impulse:

     "My brain wants a dopamine hit." (11:22)

   • This conscious naming shifts control from the limbic system to the prefrontal cortex, reducing anxiety and overstimulation.

2. Breathe Into the Body:

   • Inhale slowly through the nose for 4 counts, exhale through the mouth for 6.
   • Repeat 3 times to anchor in the parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) state.

   • "This stimulates the vagus nerve, brings you into the parasympathetic branch of your autonomic nervous system." (13:15)

3. Replace Fixing With Flow:

   • After pausing, let your next action arise naturally: walk, stretch, relax, or just be still.
   • Encourages a shift from dopamine spikes (impulsive reward-seeking) to a steady, sustainable background motivation.

4. Anchor the Trust:

   • Repeat a micro-affirmation:

     "I don't need to tighten, I need to tune." (16:00)

   • This helps transition from chaos to coherence, embracing trust and self-compassion instead of strict control.

The Bigger Picture: Purpose and Connection

• Dr. Leigh relates these strategies to "No Vice November" and breaking free from all forms of compulsion, specifically naming compulsive pornography use as an example.

• Emphasizes that true healing comes from connection—to oneself, to others, and to one’s purpose:

  "What you're seeking isn't more control. You actually are looking for deeper connection. Connection to yourself, to your people, to your purpose, your passion in the world." (18:25)

• Healing is not about adding more tools but fostering trust in your brain and nervous system’s resilience.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Myth of Control:

  "When you live in a world that glorifies self improvement on steroids, it's easy to mistake control for healing." (00:22)

• On the Dangers of Over-Fixing:

  "Sometimes it craves the next fix so badly that you start fixing things that aren't broken." (02:45)

• On Coherence vs. Tension:

  "That's the difference between self control and self coherence. Coherence is the gelling that we're looking for." (07:50)

• On Effortless Progress:

  "It's not the absence of progress, it's the state where progress becomes effortless." (08:20)

• On Peace and Power:

  "Peace isn't passive. It's incredibly powerful. It may even be your superpower." (20:15)

• Closing Remark:

  "Control your brain, or it will control you." (21:10)

Important Timestamps

• 00:00-02:45 – Introduction to the myth of control and story about compulsion
• 03:30-06:20 – Anecdotes and dish anxiety, control loop explained
• 06:20-08:30 – Analogies: shaking glass, guitar string; defining self-coherence
• 08:30-11:22 – Explaining the shift to flow state and practicalities of relaxing control
• 11:22-16:00 – Step-by-step brain hacks: labeling, breathing, moving from fixing to flow, affirmations
• 16:00-20:15 – The interplay of trust, compulsion, November challenge, healing through connection
• 20:15-21:10 – Final recap and empowering conclusion

Episode Tone

Dr. Leigh's tone is warm, empathetic, and gently humorous, using relatable stories and simple language to demystify neuroscience concepts. She encourages listeners with practical advice, memorable analogies, and a hopeful, grounded message about healing through trust and coherence rather than relentless self-correction.

Takeaways

• Attempting to "fix" your dopamine through ever more control fuels anxiety and fatigue.
• Real change happens through trust, relaxation, and coherence, not constant compulsion.
• Healing the nervous system is about regulation and rhythm, not perfection or relentless activity.
• Building connection—to self, others, and purpose—enables authentic motivation and well-being.
• Peace, stillness, and trust are not antithetical to growth; they are the foundation for it.