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Dr. Trish Leigh Podcast
Episode #231: Do This Before You Open Another Porn Tab (5-Step Emergency Protocol)
00:08:09
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Let me ask you a question. Have you ever noticed that by the time you're arguing with yourself about whether you should watch pornography or not, it almost feels like the decision has already been made? Perhaps you're lying in bed with your phone in your hand. Maybe you just got home from work after another stressful day, or you're bored, lonely, anxious, or simply running on autopilot. Whatever brought you to that moment Moment? Your brain has already begun doing something remarkable. It's making a prediction. Most people believe recovery begins the moment they start telling themselves, I shouldn't do this. As a neuroscientist, I don't think that's where recovery begins at all. That's often the moment you've arrived late to the conversation. By then, your reward system has already recognized familiar cues, begun anticipating a familiar reward, and quietly started pulling you in a direction that your thinking brain is now trying to resist. That isn't weakness. That is neuroscience. This video is brought to you by my Harper Collins published book, Mind Over Explicit Matter. If you're ready to quit porn and reclaim your life mentally and physically, go over to drtrishleigh.com book hi, I'm Dr. Trish Leigh, cognitive neuroscientist. Welcome back to the Desire Rewire podcast, where we explore how modern life shapes the brain and more importantly, how to use neuroscience to shape it back in the direction that you want. Today, I want to introduce you to something that has become one of the most important concepts I've ever taught. I call it the Instant Rewire method, not because it instantly changes your brain, but because it instantly changes your direction. And direction is what changes your brain. Before I explain how it works, you first need to understand why willpower so often feels like it disappears exactly when you need it most. Most people still think that dopamine is the brain's pleasure chemical. It isn't. Dopamine is much better understood as the chemistry of anticipation. It's your brain's constantly asking, what should I go after next mode. Every time you repeat behavior, your brain becomes a little at predicting when that reward is likely to happen again. Think about walking into your favorite coffee shop. Before you've taken the first sip, your brain is already responding to the smell, the environment, and the routine. The anticipation starts before the reward ever lands or arrives. Pornography works the exact same way, except the cues become incredibly powerful because they're repeated so consistently and the stimulation is so high. Perhaps it's being alone or picking picking up your phone, lying in bed, feeling stressed, or even reaching a certain time of Night all become cues that activate your reward system automatically. When it comes to neuroscience, I teach this as the dopamine hijack. Your brain isn't broken. It's actually doing exactly what healthy brains are designed to do. Learning from repetition. But the problem is that modern world and technology has removed almost every natural pause between anticipation and gratification. So here's the mistake that most people make. They try to fight the urge. I don't see it that way. I want you to change direction. And that's exactly why I've developed this method, the instant rewire method, because it works when it needs to work. But the instant rewire, it isn't one activity, one time. It's a way of teaching your brain a different pathway. And it has three parts. Interrupt, redirect, repeat. So the first move is to interrupt the pattern. Don't negotiate with it. Don't sit there hoping that the urge is going to magically disappear. Change something immediately. Stand up, walk outside. Put your phone in another room, splash cold water on your face, move your body. You're not trying to win an argument here. You're changing what your brain experiences next. The second move is to redirect, redirect your reward system toward your real life. Let me give you one of my favorite examples. Every afternoon around 4 o', clock, you will find me working out in my front yard. Now, I have a perfectly good backyard where nobody would ever see me. But at 4pm, that's when the sunshine is out in the front yard. In the front yard, the sun hits me perfectly, and I absolutely love being outside in it. So while the neighborhood is driving home from work and parents are picking up their kids from school, there I am exercising in full view of everyone. I'm sure more than a few people have driven past wondering what in the world I'm doing. They probably think I'm the neighborhood workout baller. But the truth is much simpler. Years ago, I stopped asking myself, how do I force myself to make better decisions? And instead I started asking, how do I make healthy dopamine easier to choose? Sunshine is healthy. Healthy dopamine, movement, fresh air, they are healthy dopamine. Changing my environment after working changes my brain. That workout isn't just exercise. It's one of my own instant rewires. Every single day, I'm teaching my reward system that real life is worth pursuing. That's the goal. Not simply avoiding unhealthy dopamine, but replacing it with something your brain genuinely wants. Then finally, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat. This is the part everyone wants to Skip. One instant rewire won't change your brain. Neither did one pornography session, even though it did a little. Your brain changed because of the repetition. And it heals the very same way. Every time you interrupt the old pathway, redirect towards something healthier and repeat that choice again tomorrow, your brain becomes a little more efficient at following the new route. That's neuroplasticity. So here's what I hope you remember from today's conversation. Recovery isn't becoming someone who is extraordinary at willpower. It's about becoming someone who has designed their life so that healthy dopamine becomes easier to choose than unhealthy dopamine. That's a completely different goal. And over time, it creates a completely different brain. If you've been trying to fight this battle with willpower alone and you still feel stuck, it may be because your brain needs more than motivation. Sometimes it helps to actually understand what's happening inside your brain itself. @drtrishleigh.com that's where I begin with quantitative EEG brain mapping. So we can measure how your brain is functioning and then use advanced personalized neuromodulation technology to help you retrain those neural pathways to at the source. Recovery becomes more than resisting urges. It becomes rebuilding your brain, the brain that no longer depends on them. So if you're ready to stop fighting your own brain and to start working with it, visit drtrishleigh.com so you can learn more. You can even schedule time to talk with me. Click the tab. Talk to Dr. Trish. And before you leave today, I want you to make one commitment to yourself. It's simply this. And the next time an urge appears, I'm going to perform one instant rewire, interrupt, redirect, repeat. Because your brain is always learning. The only question is, how are you wiring your brain today? So always remember to control your brain, or in fact, it will control you. I'll see you next time.