2 Tips to Navigate Differences Productively at the Thanksgiving Dinner Table & Beyond - Dream Life Club

Dream Life Club Podcast Summary
Episode: 2 Tips to Navigate Differences Productively at the Thanksgiving Dinner Table & Beyond
Host: Sumi Krishnan
Release Date: November 15, 2024

Introduction: Addressing a Divided Society

In this episode, Sumi Krishnan delves into the pervasive issue of disinformation in today's society, particularly in the aftermath of recent elections. She expresses concern over the deepening divides where "50% of the country is operating on one set of facts and 50% on a completely different set of facts" (00:50). Sumi emphasizes the dangers of such polarization, highlighting how it fosters an environment ripe for violence, hate, and authoritarianism.

The Truth Sandwich: A Tool for Constructive Conversations

Sumi introduces a practical strategy to combat misinformation without escalating conflicts: the Truth Sandwich, a concept adapted from the communication technique known as the compliment sandwich. Drawing parallels, she explains how to structure conversations to address falsehoods constructively.

Key Steps of the Truth Sandwich:

Discover Common Ground (Top Bun)
Begin by connecting with the other person on shared values. For instance, when discussing voting rights, one might say, "I really believe in the power of voting because it holds politicians accountable" (04:30).
Address the Misinformation (Meat)
Instead of directly attacking the false information, encourage critical thinking by questioning the motives behind the misinformation. For example, "I have to wonder, why do some politicians want to make it harder to vote? What could they be trying to hide?" (06:15).
End with a Positive Vision (Bottom Bun)
Conclude by reinforcing a collective dream or goal, such as protecting freedoms by safeguarding the right to vote (07:45).

Sumi emphasizes that this approach fosters a more receptive dialogue, allowing individuals to reconsider their beliefs without feeling attacked.

The Crucial Role of Government in Society

Transitioning from communication strategies, Sumi explores the role of government versus that of business in maintaining societal stability. Drawing from her extensive experience in government-related roles, she underscores that "government is not business" but rather acts as a counterbalance to prevent businesses from acting harmfully (14:20).

Key Points:

Government's Protective Functions: Agencies like the FDA, CDC, and EPA ensure public health, safety, and environmental protection.
Risks of Privatizing Government Functions: Highlighting concerns over figures like Elon Musk's influence, Sumi warns against reducing government oversight, which could lead to unchecked corporate power and diminished public safety (18:50).
Dependence on Government Protections: From safe infrastructure to reliable food and transportation systems, government institutions provide essential services that support everyday life (20:30).

The Dangers of Misaligned Leadership

Sumi voices apprehension over the potential misalignment between business leaders and government responsibilities. She cites Elon Musk's attempts to diminish government roles as a threat to societal well-being, questioning the implications of such power consolidation (21:15).

Notable Quote:
"When Elon Musk is in a position to deregulate and diminish government oversight, it's frightening because it undermines the very structures that keep our society safe and functioning" (21:45).

Building a Shared Reality Through Trust and Understanding

Returning to the theme of societal cohesion, Sumi stresses the importance of shared reality and trust among individuals to foster harmonious communities. She argues that without a common understanding of facts, "how are we ever going to get along when we can't even agree that the sky is blue?" (28:10).

Strategies for Building Trust:

Critical Thinking and Media Literacy: Encouraging individuals to question sources and motives behind information.
Emphasizing Common Humanity: Promoting love, care, and trust to bridge divides, as she believes, "Human beings, at the end of the day, are mostly all good" (30:00).
Rejecting Divisive Propaganda: Warning against falling for lies that sow fear and division, and advocating for community solidarity instead (32:15).

Conclusion: Embracing Love and Collaboration

Sumi wraps up the episode by reinforcing a message of unity and compassion. She urges listeners to "love each other, care for each other, and know that we can trust each other" (34:00). By fostering communities based on mutual respect and understanding, Sumi believes that women entrepreneurs and creatives can not only thrive in their personal and professional lives but also contribute positively to the broader societal fabric.

Final Thoughts:
"We're better than the divisions being sown. By supporting one another and maintaining our shared values, we can create the dream lives we aspire to" (35:20).

Resources Mentioned:

Truth Sandwich Technique Training: Scale Your Business to 7-Figures

Join Sumi Krishnan on Dream Life Club for more insights and strategies to build and scale your business while making a meaningful impact in the world.

Transcript

Sumi (0:00)

Hi everyone. Welcome back to the Dream Life Club podcast. My name is Sumi and this podcast is for you. If you are an entrepreneur or creative ready to grow and make the impact in the world that you were meant to make. If you don't know me, I've been an entrepreneur since I was 19 and I've grown multiple businesses including an eight figure business in D.C. with 200 full time employees across the country. I'm here today to give back to you and empower other women entrepreneurs and artists and creatives to make the impact in the world that you were meant to make. So let's go. Today I'm going to talk about something that's been on my mind lately with the results of the elections last week. And I think it's something that is one of the major issues in our society today, which is countering disinformation, right? Like it seems that 50% of the country is operating on one set of facts and 50% of the country is operating on a completely different set of facts, right? And both people think that their facts are true and the other ones are false. And that is such a scary and dangerous environment to live in when we can't agree on what reality is and what is false, then like, that is a breeding ground for the violence and the hate and the fear that we have today. And on top of it, that is the exact environment that authoritarians and dictatorships and despots and strongmen across the world throughout history have created so that they can get away with doing whatever they want to do and convince the public that everything they're doing is for their good, right? That is the environment that we're in today. And that's what I want to talk about. Just very quick tip that I learned today that was really fun actually, in talking about combating misinformation. Like, what's a great way to do that without kind of attacking people, without saying like you're wrong or without getting people on the defensive? And it came down to this thing that I, I learned it today from a group called Indivisible and they have something called the Truth Sandwich. And it made me think of that good old communication tactic called the compliment sandwich that you've probably learned in like relationship context. If you're like having a disagreement with your loved one or something, right? Where it's like you don't want to just like go straight in with whatever irritates you or annoys you or whatever thing you want them to change, right? Or whatever you think they're wrong about. You don't want to just like ever go straight into a conversation with that. You want to warm it up. You want to make it, you want to make it a delicious thing to eat, right? Like a good burger, right? With a top bun, then the middle piece of meat and a bottom bun, right? And the compliment sandwich goes like this. So say you have a complaint, like, oh God, like my partner keeps. I know. I'll just go with the classic example, like leaving the bathroom seat up, right? And it's like so annoying every time I go in there. And his dirty socks on the floor. And so the top, but the top would be like what I really love and appreciate about him. It's like, God, I love so much. Like you're so dedicated to your mission in life and that, you know, you are just like so self motivated to like, get up early and like stay, start working. And so that's the top one. Okay. Something. And then the middle piece is like, you know, when I get up after you've left the house and like go into the bathroom to get ready and I see like the toilet seat up and the dirty socks on the floor, like, it's just really like, kind of rubs me the wrong way. And I'm like, I'm wondering if there's any way that we can figure this out because I value our. And then we're onto the bottom button. I value our relationship style ship so much and like, I don't know what I would do without you. And like, this thing is just like a daily annoyance that like, I wonder if we can like handle together. That's a compliment sandwich. And that's a much better way of approaching the subject than like, dude, why do you always leave the toilet seat up like, the next time you see him? Right? Like, everybody kind of gets that. Now the same kind of concept can be applied to when people are, I don't know, talking about things that you think are completely false or are parroting things that you know are disinformation, complete lies, whatever. So here it goes. So the top bun in the truth sandwich is discover common ground. Okay? This is where you like connect with the person on shared values. So let's take this example that about voting rights. Okay? Voting rights in this country is a big issue because there have been a lot of attempts to make it harder for people to vote or like false claims that millions of undocumented illegal aliens were voting. Like just those were made up, right? But let's talk about how we would approach that. So discover shared values. Discover common ground. So, like, that top bun would be something like, I really believe in the power. I believe that it's important to have the right to vote in this country because it holds politicians accountable, right? It holds politicians accountable. And then, so that's. And that's kind of like an easy thing. Like, everybody could agree to that, right? Then the middle piece of the beef, the beef, the meat, the thing that you actually want to say is something like. And here was the key. Here was the really cool piece. What Indivisible was saying was don't just go in, like, attacking the lie or like saying like, that's a lie or that's not true, or this is actually what the truth is. What you want to do is actually encourage people to, like, critically think for themselves by questioning the motives of whoever is spreading this lie. So that's the key in this framework. It's like, don't just, like, go after the lie, but go after the people or organizations that are spreading the lie and question the motives. Like, what could they want? So then in this example, it would be something like, you know, I have to wonder, all the politicians pushing for bills that would make it harder to vote, like, what are they trying to hide? Why don't they want. Why do they want to make it harder to vote? What do they have to hide? And then end by talking about the dream, right? Talking about the dream of a better future. So something like, it's simple, like, protect our freedoms by protecting our right to vote. So something like that was a suggested framework for countering misinformation. And I thought it was really interesting and definitely important to start with the shared value, end with a dream that everyone can buy into. And in the middle, instead of going after the lie directly, get people to think about the motives of the people who could be pushing the motives of the people who are pushing the disinformation, right? Like, what could they be? Well, we won't know, but we want people to start thinking about it. Just like in basic, like media literacy, to discern, like, fact from fiction, you gotta know, like, how to. How to discern, like, what's the source? Is the very first question we learn in, like, middle school when we're talking about critical thinking and media, right? Like, what's the source of what you're reading? Can you trust the source? Right? So similarly, what's the source of this fact that you think is true? Who are they? Can you trust them? So get people to start thinking about that, and that'll be a much more effective way to get people on the same page, if you feel like, like this is an uphill battle. So I wanted to share that with you today because as we go forward, it's really hard for me to, like, talk about dreams, life and talk about creating our dream lives without addressing, like, society and culture in which we live, right? Like, we create and live our lives together in cult. In society, with other people. And so I think it's really important that all of us be able to talk about society and culture and what's going on in government. And, you know, like, one of the things is, like, it's interesting because, like, I'm an. I'm an entrepreneur. I've been an entrepreneur since I was 19. You're an entrepreneur if you're listening to this or creative, like, growing your creative work as an entrepreneur, right? And the one thing that I think people get wrong, one thing where I think people just don't get it sometimes, is that government. And by the way, I was in D.C. and involved in the government for over a decade, right? Like, my company, like, ran programs for, for HHS, right? We ran programs for, inside HHS. There's like 12 or 13 different agencies. And some of those agencies are like centers for Medicare and Medicaid, okay? It's the fda, the cdc, AHRQ for healthcare research and quality. So so many of these different agencies inside HHS and similarly inside the FAA and similarly inside the epa, like, making sure that corporations can't just, like, go wild polluting our waters and our rivers and our streams and can't go wild, poll our air so that, like, I go outside and like, I'm breathing in a poison, and that's not good for anybody, right? Like, so what I'm getting at is that government is not business. Like, we're all entrepreneurs. Like, we're in business, but the people in government aren't in business. In fact, government is the opposite of business. Government is set up to be a counter to business so that businesses can't just run wild trading on things that are harmful to the welfare of society and people, right? So it's like the yin and the yang. They have to operate together. And the dangerous situation we're in right now is that people like Elon Musk are, like, invited into the government. So you've got, you've got the people that should be regulating, right? You've got the people that need to be regulated doing the regulating, right? Like, Elon Musk is now getting rid of any, any agency that's going to be regulating his businesses, right? Any agency that's going to be putting limits on what he or can, he can or cannot do. Right. It's, it's, it's scary and it's, it's ridiculous because he can get away with whatever he wants now. And it's also very harmful. You know, one of the things that he claims is like he, he wants to get rid of 2/3 of the civil service. Well, you know, we live in a society where we kind of take for granted some of these protections that government provides. Right. But nobody ever thinks about it. And I just want to point it out real quick. Like, I want you to think about this. Like, we haven't had an attack on American soil since 9 11, right? That is like 23 years without an attack on American soil. There has been so many preventions. And people working inside government that have made that happen doesn't just happen like magically. It happens because of the strong alliances that we've created globally. It happens because we are the quote, unquote, leader of the free world right now still at this moment. This is what a lot of us are scared about, like this destabilization across the world with this recent election, Right? Because right now we're aligned with people who believe in freedom and who believe that everybody has a right to live and exist peacefully and with each other and that in democracies everybody has a vote and things like that. But what's scary is that there's some realignment happening where we see that a lot, that Trump and a lot of people in his administration actually want to partner up and ally with Russia. Well, Russia doesn't believe in democracy. Russia and North Korea are friends and they believe in controlling people. They believe in murdering people who disagree with them. And so that's why a lot of us are scared about what's happening in the world. And but going back to the protections that government gives us, right? Like we drive on the roads and drive across bridges without a constant fear that the bridge is going to break down. Well, how do we know that? Because those are people in government that are tasked to making sure the bridges are safe. How can we take a plane and trust that the pilot knows what he's doing? We don't personally have any input in that. We just trust, right? That's because of the government, the tsa, the faa, all these agencies, right? When we are going to the grocery store and buying food and we trust that there's just not poison in our food that's going to kill us, Right? Like, we somehow trust that all these protections Exist. And for someone like Elon Musk to go in and say, I'm going to get rid of 2/3 of the government. Oh yeah, like do you, do you. When Covid hit and we already had researchers like working on, you know, because in, in the infectious disease community, like they're constantly thinking and planning and researching and having things so that we could have had that vaccine come up so quickly and be tested and be safe and then be distributed. Government did all of that, right? And so in some way, I, like, I want you listening to understand that like, government's not the bad guy, right? Government's not the bad guy. Government's how we know that, like, if I go and shoot my neighbor, I can't just get off scot free because there are some consequences, right? There's law and order. And we have to, we have to believe, we have to remain committed to creating, co creating a society where those things still exist. And it's not just some billionaires who decide they're going to slash everything and run government like they ran their companies, right? And government is not business, okay? That is rule number one. And there are so many valuable people doing things to protect you currently right now inside government that none of us even would think of because we're not tasked with addressing that one specific problem. We live in this society pretty safe and pretty free because of all these things. And so with that, I just want to say that in order to continue living and being able to create our dream lives and be able to grow businesses and trust each other, we need to make sure that we're all living in the same reality. We can't be living where I think, you know, this is up and you think this is up. Like, how are we ever going to, like, get along when we can't even agree that the sky is blue? So with that, I will end this episode. But like, overall, my message is simple. My message is that we got to love each other, we got to care for each other, and we got to know that we can trust each other. Human beings, at the end of the day, I believe, are mostly all good. And if we remember that and if we just care for each other and create communities where we are and reach out to people in need and never fall into the trap of hating our neighbors or fearing somebody that doesn't look exactly like us, or believing the lies that there are 13,000 murderers and rapists coming across the border and some Middle Eastern terrorists at that, like, these are the crazy, effing, you know, lies and propaganda that one side of the political spectrum, unfortunately, is pushing, is wanting us to fear each other, wanting to divide and conquer so that they can line their pockets and have more power. And I don't want any of us to fall for that. We're better than that. We're so much better than that. So sending you all my love and have a beautiful weekend and I'll talk to you next week. Bye. It.