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Success is solely how well you handle your problems. When you frame your life that way, like everything changes, everything changes. Hey everyone. Welcome back to the Dream Life Club podcast where we share insight and inspiration for creatives and entrepreneurs chasing a dream. This is Sumi, and if you don't know me, I built a 200 person company in D.C. and then decided to leave all of that behind to follow my dream of being a pop music artist in la. Today I want to talk to you about one of the biggest challenges that faces us as artists doing this by ourselves, the ones who are not signed to big labels, who don't have big teams doing everything for us. And that's the challenge of feeling overwhelmed and feeling like there is just too much to do, too much to keep up with, and too much noise to compete with in order to break through. So I want to talk about a couple things that I have been dealing with personally this week actually, and offer them to you and offer some mindset shifts of how I am reframing these things in order to keep going and make sure I don't let any of this stop me or get me down or discouraged. Because we all have seasons, sometimes we're on it and we're so excited about everything that's going on and we feel like nothing can in the world can stop us. And sometimes it's like, okay, a lot of challenges at once. Whether those challenges are real or sometimes just in our mind, it almost doesn't even matter, right? Because it's all how we look at things. So first of all, I want to talk about the very real challenges that we face. We are entrepreneurs, all of us who are artists building an artist career. We're also entrepreneurs because we have to build the business and the infrastructure and the business model around what we're doing. And we are the product. So most entrepreneurs are selling a product, right? Create a product, develop a product. We have to develop ourselves. And we are ourselves the product. So I do feel like we have it harder than any other entrepreneur out there. And many may disagree with me, but that is my take. And I used to be an entrepreneur selling a different product when I had my company in dc. So I feel like I have enough to back up that opinion. So as artists, right, I want you to know that, like, you're not alone in knowing we need to do everything ourselves. We need to have the time and space in our schedule to first of all be inspired, right? To download our creativity, to actually create, to then work on our craft, right? And like practice and get better, to Then actually record our music and fill studio sessions and put out music, release music. But then in order to release music, we need release plans and we need the marketing around that release. And then we need all the visual and social content around that release. Right? And then we need to be networking, we need to be meeting the right people in the industry. We need to be cold outreaching to people who could change our career. Then we need to be booking shows, we need to be finding opening slots to tours, we need to be going out and performing and mingling with other musicians and forming bands and practicing and everything. It's a lot. It is so much. Then we need to be managing emails and finding other creative ways to build platforms, whether that's hosting a podcast like I do or, you know, doing collabs with brands. And then we need to find ways to make money before we're huge, right? By having a Patreon site and selling, creating, first of all, creating merch and then selling the merch and then getting people to join your behind the scenes Patreon and then continually updating your social media and then dealing with the emotional back and forth about comparing to other artists and feeling like our platforms aren't big enough and the posts aren't doing well. And how are we ever going to get a meeting with so and so when we only have 10,000 followers on Instagram. Instagram and 50 likes on our latest post and it's a lot. And then we need to be going to events and being seen and seeing people and keeping up relationships. And then on top of that, do we have any time to actually, like, go to our jobs to make money that many of us are doing or have friends or go work out and cook and keep our houses clean and feed ourselves and our families if we have one. Right? And pay our bills on time and keep up with admin and make sure we pay our taxes? Like, let's just admit that it's a freaking lot. It's a lot to do. And so, first of all, it's so freaking amazing. I just want to give like everyone their flowers. If you're in this with me and you are building a career as an artist, like, here is so much love that I just want to like envelop you in because it is not easy. And if it were easy, everyone would freaking do it. And so we have to be built different. Okay, so today I woke up and I started like scrolling social media and feeling starting. And I was scrolling social media to get ideas for content because I just made a content piece around Coachella and around the Indian fashion that is so prevalent at Coachella in, well, really forever. But this year, a lot of the Indian designers and there are more Indian artists than ever get, you know, playing Coachella. And so that's really awesome to see. And, like, the Indian models and fashion designers and people are speaking in the Indian population. Indian American population is, like, speaking up more about this and growing platforms and like, I love it. I love it so much. I love seeing it. And so I made a video about, you know, how a lot of this festival fashion is actually borrowed from India and has always been right, right from the face gems that are actually bindis and from the quote unquote boho earrings, which are jumkas, traditional Indian jewelry. The waist chains, which are called vadanam, our classical Indian jewelry, especially for, you know, weddings and dancers. And then we've got, you know, just something was rebranded. Oh, my God. At fashion week this year, they started calling. They started calling our dupattas a Scandinavian scarf. Sorry, but that is clearly an Indian dupita. So just this. Just this, like, erasure of marginalized cultures has been. It's. It's been, you know, happening for. For. For centuries and centuries and centuries. And I made a social media video about it, and it. It did performed much better than any of my recent videos. So I was like, thinking, okay, well, this clearly hit a nerve. Maybe there's something else I can make along this line that speaks to this audience. I'm Indian American, and I haven't done much around speaking to that audience and, like, cultivating a community of other Indian girlies. And so I was scrolling to get inspiration for that, but what happened was I also get fed a lot of content just around building a music career. Right. And so I started getting inundated with, like, you know, all these, like, coaches, quote, unquote, who help you, quote, unquote, build music careers. And I say quote unquote, because you do have to wonder, like, okay, they might have some clients who have had some success. Success, but was it really due to their coaching or was it they were already on a trajectory with momentum and that artist has the magic or, you know, was it really due to that person's coaching? Because often times, like, the coaches haven't been in the trenches themselves. So I'm always, like, a little bit weary of it. And I've also gotten burned way too many times than I'd like to admit from signing up for people who. Because it's a real predatory arena, right? Like, people know that we, as artists, like, we will do anything because it's our dream. And so real good marketers and real good salesmen, we have to be on the lookout for because they're going to get us, right? And so we have to watch out for that. But anyway, so I was like, you know, getting fed so many of these videos from people who claim to be, you know, able to, like, artist development coaches or managers or marketers who are gonna, like, transform your career if you sign up with them and their program and then, like, also just their videos about all the stuff you have to do. Like, I was watching this one video, and this woman was like, okay, it's. It's the triangle. You have to stop performing open mics, and you have to start booking yourself at, like, actual, like, ticketed shows. And every. Every six weeks minimum. And then you need to be like. So that. That's the top of your pyramid. That's your performances. And then you need to be, like, all on your content and, like, you know, posting like, four times a day. And then you need to be all on your, like, network things and pitching to sync and monetizing through your Patreon and building your email list. And, you know, it was like, I. Even though, like, I'm actually doing most of those things already, just, like, watching her talk about everything that needs to be done, I was like, honestly getting exhausted and getting feeling overwhelmed and feeling like, oh, my God, I just need to check out. It was Saturday afternoon, and I was like, I just need to check out and, like, watch tv because I don't know if I can, like, I don't know if I have the mental bandwidth to keep thinking about this because this is all I think about 24 7, right? And then I. And then I caught myself, and I'm like, okay. And this is key, like, because we all have certain triggers and certain patterns that we go to to cope. And mine is, like, checking out. I sometimes, like, isolate and check out from social circles. I forget to respond to friends and, like, I really like a lot of people. Like, you know, I'm such an introvert, right, that whenever I feel overwhelmed, I tend to just, like, isolate and. And block everything out and check out and, like, watch TV or something, right? And other people, like, call friends and, like, go on a walk and, like, voice memo someone or, like. And I think those are a lot healthier coping mechanisms. But I caught myself in that moment, and that's the key to, like, recognize your trigger and then catch yourself before falling into the same pattern. And I was like, no, sue me. Do not, like, check out and watch T all afternoon. That is not the human you want to be. And instead I was like, okay, what do I need to do? You know? And one of the things I needed to do is record this podcast episode. So I was, like, brainstorming what I wanted to talk about today. And I was like, okay, talk about what's real, what is happening right now for me. And it's this feeling of overwhelm. What a perfect thing to share. Because if I'm feeling it, I know everyone else is feeling it too, right? And so I want to talk about how then. So that. That's basically like the first thing that I wanted to share is like, catching my pattern. I want you guys to ask yourselves, what is your pattern? What is your go to behavior when you feel overwhelmed or when you feel dejected or rejected or like, you want to give up? Like, what do you do? Can you think of that right now? Do you have it in your mind? I want you guys to, like, make real, intentional effort to, like, recognize that pattern and then ask yourself whether you want to continue that behavior or not. And. And not. Then what do you want to replace it with? Right? And because that is step one, it's like catching ourselves. Catching ourselves. Catching ourselves. Every time that we're triggered and we do something that we don't actually want to do, like, catching yourself before you do it is actually huge progress. Okay. And then I realized that, like, okay, some of the other things that I realized, I was like, okay, I'm in the game. If I were not in the game, I wouldn't be overwhelmed. Right? Like, if I. So being overwhelmed is actually awesome, is actually, like, amazing because it shows me that I care and that I'm actively in the game. And then, you know, and then I was like, feeling like, oh, my God, but I'm so behind. And I, you know, I should be. Do. I should be, like, way further ahead of my career right now. And then I'm like, I'm like, failing. And then I'm like, nope, reframe. I'm not failing. Here are all the things that I'm working on, right? So I, like, I took pen to paper and I'm like, literally, like, what? Writing? Like, listing out all of the things that I'm working on, all of the progress that I'm making. Because we cannot be everywhere at once. We cannot keep comparing ourselves to what we could be doing. We have to focus on what we are doing and just continue. Continue to focus on what we are Doing and how to do what we are doing even better, right? Like focusing on all the other things is just going to drain us, is going to make us feel like we're never gonna make it and we're just, it's, we're gonna put ourselves in a mental space that is going to actually be a self fulfilling prophecy. Instead we gotta stop thinking about all those billion and one other things and go so focused on what we are doing and how to keep doing. What's the next step? What do we need to keep doing to like honestly I think that's the, that is the kind of Achilles heel of like having social media. Because like, or, or like the downside of it, like the, it's, it's such an amazing tool because we get to connect directly with potential fans, right? Like we get to build our fan base on social media. We've never had the opportunity to do that before this era, right. Like we live in this really, really special time right now and we should be so grateful for it. As artists it's given us a path to have successful, sustainable careers without out big record labels, which is just wild, which is insane. Which is an amazing thing to have. But at the same time the cost of that, the downside of that, the shadow side of that because every single thing in the world has a positive side and a shadow side, right? The shadow side to that is that look, one of the, one of the things is that it causes us to like be overwhelmed. It steals our attention, it steals our focus. And even if not by like randomly scrolling, by scrolling in a way that we think is helpful by like watching all of these supposed, like how to market your music videos or here's what you should do and I'm an artist coach videos like those things are also distractions. I remember, you know I, when I was building my company K4 in D.C. like one of the things I would always do is I would see the people who are successful in the industry would never like start looking around. And I remember like it was so, it was, it was so important. I, I, I'm having a hard time describing like how important it is to not look around because like I could feel it back then like a lot stronger than I feel it now for some reason. But I know it to be true that if you, it's like if you were running races, right? And it's like if, when you're running a race like imagine like people running like track, okay. And, and, and if they start looking around comparing where they are to the other runners on the track, they're like, they've already lost. The minute they start looking around, like, they've lost momentum. They've. They've lost forward motion. They. They're. They're slowing down to look around and then their mind is distracted so they're less fast. Like, it's just so obvious when we think about it like that, right? And same thing, that exact same thing. Like, I would think about that all the time when I was building K4. Other people would be, oh, what's this company doing? What's that competitor doing? What's. You know, I heard this at the event yesterday and like, they're pursuing this strategy and I remember just being like, block it out. We already have a strategy. Block it out, block it out, block it out. I would tell my team, block it out, block it out. We cannot afford to get distracted. We're on a time frame, we're on a timeline. We need to get to the finish line on our track and fast and focused, right? And so that's how we have to approach it with our artist careers. We cannot, we cannot afford to get distracted by all of the million and one things that people will be telling us we should be doing or the million and one things that other artists are doing. We have to have our focus and, like, keep our blinders on and like, keep going. Like, imagine yourself as a runner on that track, running your race. Like, you cannot afford to be looking around, right? So that's my second thing is like, stop looking around. Okay? And so we're, we're catching ourselves when we fall into our, like, destructive habits, our self sabotaging habits. We're acknowledging that we're in the game. Like, whatever we're feeling is actually par for the course. And it's amazing because it means that we're in the game, you guys. We're in it. We're in the arena. We're where everybody wants to be. We're not criticizing people on the sidelines. We're not just scrolling social media and commenting on shit. We're not like most people, like, you know, dreaming of doing the thing. We're doing the thing. And if you're not doing the thing, start doing the thing. Get in the game, right? Get in the game. Because just putting yourself in the game is half the battle. And then, guess what? The other half is staying in the game. Literally, the other half of the equation is just not giving up. That's what the whole thing is about. If we don't give up, we will get to the finish line like Honestly, like, we will get there. And the finish line, we have to define for ourselves, right? We have to define it for ourselves. But we, like, what's the point of playing if you're not willing to finish? Like, we have to keep going. We have to finish. It's because it's not about winning something. It's not about constantly comparing. It's about the fact that we're in it. And I heard this definition of success once that I just absolutely love. I think it's the only definition of success that matters. Okay? It's not how much money you have. It's not how many followers you have. It's not that you've won a Grammy or not. It's not that, you know, you got some big brand deal. It's. It's none of that. None of that success. Success is solely how well you handle your problems, guys. That, like, blew my mind when I first heard it. Success is how well you solve your problems. Because life will come at us. Life is coming at us at every moment. We never know. We never know what's about to happen. And success is solely how well we solve what comes at us. When you frame your life that way, like, everything changes. Everything changes. We let go of this, like, negative ego desire to do all these things that we think we want, but we don't know. We don't know what the outcome's going to be. We might be miserable. We might be miserable if we get what we think we want. Right? I. And this doesn't take away from, like, the hard work and the persistence and the stick to itiveness. Of course not. This. What's this whole episode is about is sticking to it and not giving up. Right. But also letting go of our egos and realizing that we're in the game. And success is keeping on going. Success is how well we solve our problems. Right. Success is feeling that feeling of rejection and not giving up. Success is feeling overwhelmed and not checking out and watching tv. Success is feeling like there's too many things to do and you're never going to be able to do it all. And then coming to your studio and writing that song, coming to the studio and recording the podcast. Success is putting yourself in the arena over and over again, solving the problems that come up along the way and keeping on going. That is success. And I also want to just share a few more real tactical things. Okay. To, like, give you even more to think about. Okay. Because so much of it is mindset, and then it comes down to having the right habits. So I I, I know that for me at least, like, I'm needing to think of myself as starting a startup. Okay, if you are building a startup, you, you, you don't think you have like all this time to waste. Like, if you consider yourself like a startup entrepreneur, they're freaking like, heads down, like 80 hours a week, like, building the thing, right, Putting everything in it. And I think that that's the same mentality that we need to have. We need to ask ourselves, we need to be real honest and ask ourselves, like, do we have, do we want to play that game? And if the answer is yes, I'm assuming the answer is yes. Because you're listening to this, you are already committed to building your dream, right? Otherwise you wouldn't be spending time with me when you could be listening to a freaking comp, like, I don't know, Real Housewives podcast or some shit. And so if we're in it, like, if we're in it and we're already making the sacrifices, like, we gotta do the things just that extra couple percent that really makes a difference. And I'm gonna share a couple of those things with you guys that really make a difference for me when I do them, because I'm not gonna pretend that I'm perfect and that I do them all the time, because I absolutely don't. But when I do, it's game changing. So the first one is, is taking like two hours on a Sunday or a Monday morning to go real in depth with my calendar and my schedule, I just cannot handle. And like, also guys, like, if you're 22, it might be easier for you to like wing it or even if you're like 30, you know, like once you get in your, into your 30s and older, like it is, it becomes harder and harder to like, have the energy that is needed to wing things all the time. Like, things need to be in the calendar, planned out ahead of time so our mind has time to absorb what we're doing for that day, to focus on it, to have enough space then to get it done in that block of time and not waste time before and after so that we can have enough time to do the other things we need to do, like have a social life and go to the gym and pay our bills, right? Like, we, we need to have things planned out. So I'm still. It's like an, it's like a continual process for me, but I know how important it is to spend that time on a Sunday evening or a Monday morning to really, really, like, map out my Calendar. And I honestly, like, because also sleep is so important. Like, sleep is so important just for overall health, for overall wellness, for the way we look. If you care about vanity, like, it's so important for overall health, especially as we get older. And I cannot sacrifice that. And I know that, like, you know, some people, like my mother, for example, she could literally operate on six hours. My little sister, too, six hours of sleep a night for life. And they're fine. They are. They're fine. And for me, I need to get, like, a solid eight and a half hours of sleep, which means, like, I need to be in bed for nine hours a night, which it used to really upset me because I would think I would be so much. Like, it would be so much easier if I could be one of those people who only needed six hours of sleep. But I've stopped complaining about it and I've started to just realize, okay, what do I need to do to then compete, right? Because we're all playing the same game and the living, the playing field is not level, right? In so many ways. Like, I have so many privileges that other people would die for, and I want to acknowledge that, right? And also, like, like, this is one area where, like, damn, I wish I had my little sister's ability to, like, operate on six hours of sleep. But I am never going to let that, like, discourage me or bring me down or whatever else my disadvantage might be, right? The fact that, like, when I was growing up as a brown girl, like, there were a lot of obstacles in my way. Like the fact that I'm starting this music career later in life. Like, there. It would be easier if I was, like, 20 right now, right? Like so. But instead of, like, looking at those quote unquote disadvantages as disadvantages, like, what do I need to do to either A, turn them into advantages or B, manage them so that I can still compete on the same game, on the same field, right? So, so the thing about sleep is, like, I know that my calendar needs to be on point so that I can actually get into bed and, and get up and go work out and, like, not, not lose my routine or my fitness. Meditation is also super important to me because it's part of my personal spiritual path and I can't lose that in pursuit of the dream. Like, that just wouldn't even make sense, right? Like, I can't lose, like, would literally be like, losing my soul's path in pursuit of my worldly path. And that might sound super esoteric, but that's how I feel about My meditation practice. So I know that for me, like, I need to get enough sleep so that I can wake up, meditate, go work out, and then work on my craft. Like, work on my voice, do my vocal warmups and exercises, practice piano because, like, I'm still like learning piano, right? And then work on my songwriting. Like, there's a lot that I want to be able to, like, get better at with my craft. I never just want to be entitled and think, like, you know, I could like, stay at the same level. Like, no, no, I need to be continually growing and getting better. In addition to making the music, marketing the music, pitching the music, making the content, doing the performances, doing the networking, like, right. And so my calendar has to be on point. So that's the one tactical thing I wanted to leave you guys with before ending this episode. I think so many of us artists and creatives, like, it's just to. It's really. It takes so much effort to put ourselves into boxes sometimes to sit down and manage our calendar ahead of time. And it is a game changer when we do it. And I think if you're listening and you've been like, thinking about it and like, not on point with your calendar, like, make that a priority this week. Like, make that a priority because will change everything. Because then you'll realize, like, oh, wow, this task that I've been putting off, like, maybe I can put it into this 20 minute time slot here and it doesn't even have to like, be weighing on my mind and taking up space in my brain. And that's honestly a lot of it. It's like getting it out of our head and onto the calendar of what we need to do then allows our creativity to skyrocket too, because our brains are suddenly opened up because we're not being bogged down by all of our to dos. Right? And all of the admin and the paperwork and like the emails and the people we have to resp. Like, just take the time every week to get it sorted and you will feel so much lighter. I know I do, every single time. And it's a very common experience that I talk to people about. And so if you haven't experienced that, like, give yourself that advantage is my. Is my advice for the week. So with that, I think I'm going to sign off. I want to just, in conclusion, summarize that the whole message of today's episode was first acknowledging that as indie independent artists, we have so much going on. We are entrepreneurs and we are the product. And so I want to normalize that. And I want to say that if it was easy, everyone would do it. And we're in this because we want something that most people won't want to do, right? And success is how well we solve our problems. We have to catch ourselves, right? We have to catch ourselves when we're triggered to fall into patterns, self sabotaging patterns. And then we have to reframe our feelings by telling ourselves we're in the arena, we're doing the thing. And then success is how well we solve those problems. So going and taking action on something, focusing real closely, real specifically on the things that we are doing, right? Building ourselves up, remembering that we are in it, we are doing things, and then planning, taking the take, giving ourselves right. It's, it's self care. Honestly, like the calendaring at the start of the week is, is, is self care. There's no other way to put it, is literally self care. Giving ourselves that benefit, that advantage of calendaring ahead of time for the week and knowing what we're going to do, it also literally gets absorbed into our subconscious. Once we're looking at our calendar, we know what we're doing, we do everything better because we're not winging it, we're not making. We're already making way too many decisions every single day. And so having this set and the stuff we need to do, like more ideas will start popping into, into our heads and also our brain will be freer. And so more, more, more, more things will spark naturally in terms of creative ideas. And so it's really a game changer. So with that, I'm sending you guys so much love and I'll see you next week. Bye.