Sumi (0:00)

At the end of the tunnel, you are so much stronger for it. You are so much wiser for it. You are so much more powerful for it because you got through that setback, you didn't let it take you down. The things that felt so hard before, now you're able to deal with in a matter of minutes, right? Welcome to the Dream Life Club podcast. I am so, so happy you're back. If you're new here, this podcast is for you. If you're a woman entrepreneur who loves your business and loves what you do and is ready to take it to the next level of growth, take it to seven figures and beyond in revenue and make the impact in the world that you were meant to make. My name is Sumi. I started my first company when I was 19 years old, grew multiple seven figure companies and a multiple eight figure company since then. Sold that company before I was 30 and I am on a mission to change the statistic that says that only 2% of women owned businesses ever cross the million dollar mark in revenue. We're going to do that together. So today I just want to talk about a philosophical thing. It's about our mindset which affects everything we do and it's how to handle setbacks in business and in life. I want to use an analogy from my fitness journey and talk about how the lessons that have applied there also app to business. And I'm hoping that you'll relate. You'll hear yourself in some part of this story and take pieces of it that are applicable to where you are now in your journey and use it as fuel to help you turn around any natural tendencies you have to perhaps go down a downward spiral or to let yourself get set back by a setback instead of doing what we're going to talk about here. So I want to start off telling you a personal story. What happened to me earlier this year in my physical and fitness journey was that, you know, I had been for the past three years working really hard on some physical goals, like more calisthenic goals. Like I got my first pull up three years ago. I actually got my first push up on my toes also. And now I can do like sets of 20 push ups. I'm up to doing six consecutive pull ups now, which has been a huge achievement for me. Earlier this year, like January time frame, something happened that really knocked me off my center. It really felt like a huge setback. I go into my normal like weekly appointment with my trainer and I'm starting to, you know, do the warmup exercises and at that point I was up to doing like three consecutive pull ups. And I go in to do a couple pull ups as a warmup and I all of a sudden couldn't pull myself even halfway up to do one pull up. And it was a really weird feeling because at this point in time, I had able to do one pull up for like two years and I. I'd never, in that two year time frame, I had never not been able to do one pull up. And I'm like, wait, what? I couldn't even pull myself halfway up. And then I got back down. I was like, what's going on? Like, something just felt weird. And I tried again and again and again because it, it was like, what? Like, how could this sudden, like drop off a cliff in my abilities happen? And it really didn't make sense. Like, I was fresh, I was tired. It's not like I had done some major lifting beforehand or anything. It just didn't make sense to me. And then I remember that whole rest of that hour, like, everything that used to be easy, even like, was just hard and something was weird, something was up. And so then I. So then I was like, maybe I'm just having an off day. Although that didn't seem like the right explanation. So I go back the next day, go into the gym, and I like, try again and, yep, don't have the strength. Try again the next day. Don't have the strength. And at this point I'm like, okay, something is going on. Then I started to feel some pain in my neck and some numbness and tingling down my arms, and I'm like, okay, something is happening here. So what I do is I go in to see a physical therapist and I go in to see a chiropractor and then I go in to see a physical therapist again, and we start working together and I go to see a chiropractor again, and we start working together. Then I talk to a friend of mine who's a doctor, and she's like, sumi, you shouldn't be just like ignoring this. She's like, you've lost. So what happened was I realized I had lost all of my strength pretty much in just my right tricep. And so it was like, it was like, you know, 10% of the strength of my left tricep. And my friend who's a doctor was like, you've just suddenly, overnight, literally overnight, lost 90% of your strength in your tricep. Like, this is a nerve issue. This is a spinal cord issue. Like, you need to go See a doctor. And so I made an appointment to get an mri, and I got an mri. And I remember I was like. I was like. And I had heard so many stories, like, everybody goes and gets MRIs, and everything's fine, right? Like, it's never, like, life shattering news. And I go get the mri. I remember the technician afterwards, I was like, so, anything interesting? And he's like, I can't disclose anything with you, ma'am. And I get a call from my doctor's office, and they were like, you need to go see a surgeon asap. So I go see a surgeon, and that surgeon reads me, you know, the results, and it's basically like he tells me what's going on in my spine. There are some abnormal abnormalities. And he tells me. He gives me a plan of attack to sort of like, continue with the pt. But he's, like, very strict about, like, not doing certain exercises, not doing even things that I had been doing up to that point, like heavy back squats, Olympic lifting, like, things like that. And he's like, you gotta just really focus on strengthening all the tiny little ligaments and tiny little muscles around your neck to make sure that your neck can support you in, like, daily living going forward. And so you really need to take time out and focus on doing these exercises for your neck. And then I went down a rabbit hole of, like, how to strengthen your neck, because if you have abnormalities, this is getting into a little bit of a deep dive here. But if you have abnormalities with your cervical spine, it's. If it's really bad, you need to get surgery. If it's a little bad. A lot of times traditional doctors will say, like, you just got to, like, you got to stop. You gotta stop working out in the way you're working out, right? But the only way to solve it without surgery is to strengthen all the little muscles around your neck, and somehow that helps provide all the support that your spine needs, even if there's abnormalities in your spinal cord. So it's, like, really interesting, like, how you can actually create the strength structures around your spine. Spine to make it better, even if you can't make your spine better. So I started going down and, like, thinking, like, looking at all the ways to strengthen my neck. And every day, following a real plan to make these changes. Going to my physical therapist, going to the chiropractor, doing my exercises. Now, I'll tell you guys this funny thing. One of the main exercises he told me to do was this. When you're sitting in your car, you're Sitting in your car. And the headrest, he's like, just push your head against the headrest. So the headrest is serving as, like, resistance, right? It's kind of like pushing your head forward. Push your head back against it as hard as you can. And that static exercise works wonders to strengthen those little muscles in your neck. And so every day driving around, I'm like, pushing my head back. And then he's like, also do these, like, push your hand and resist. Push in your hand. And if you're watching on YouTube, you'll see what I'm doing. Push, Push in your forehead and resist. If you're not, it's no big deal. But it was tiny little exercises. Same with. Even at the physical therapist, like, tiny little exercises. Moving your hands with no weights, like, up and down like this, you know, leaning forward. The T y straightforward. Like, all these exercises that are, like, tiny little movements and not a lot of time, like, total. They didn't take me. It's not like I'm spending hours doing this physical. Physical therapy. And anyways, so I now imagine the emotional state that I was in at that time. It. It really affected me. Like, I was really down. I couldn't do any of my normal exercises. I was losing a lot of muscle. Even in other places that I had worked so hard over three years to gain, right? I was losing a lot of muscle because I was really having a hard time figuring out, like, what I could do. I didn't want to make anything worse. It was very scary, seeming like it's your neck, you know, like you could be paralyzed or goes wrong. And so it was really scary. And I felt like, you know, exercise and strength training was such a big part of, like, me feeling healthy and me feeling comfortable in my body and me feeling like it led to mental health benefits. Like, me feeling happy and, like, purposeful every day. Like, it was just a big piece of my life that was suddenly just, like, taken away, and I had to figure out how to handle it right, so I wouldn't go into, like, a downward, dark spiral. Because it was, like. It would have been easy to do that. It would have been easy to feel sorry for myself. It would have been easy to pout. It would have been easy just to, like, not do my exercises and just lay on the couch and watch Netflix every evening. It would have been easy to just let myself go in terms of my eating and my other good habits. Because once, like, a pivotal habit goes, it's so easy to just, like, let everything else go. That would have been Easy. But I really made such an effort and I'm thankful for the community around me who helped me with this so much. But like my physical therapist, my chiropractor, my surgeons, my parents helped me. My parents were so sweet. They actually, like, came to the appointment with the next surgeon with me and like, it was just like, I really just felt so supported in that moment because I had these people around me that were willing to help me. And even my trainer, like, she's not a specialist in like neck issues or spine issues or nerve issues, but she was always checking in with me. My friends were checking in with me. It was like I felt really supported. And that support, combined with the medical support, combined with my own mental training not to spiral down and to keep the faith that I would recover. Because every week that goes by and nothing changes. I remember I would sit there and do these tricep exercises to test my strength. Every day that goes by and nothing changes. Every week that goes by and nothing changes. Three weeks goes by, nothing changes. Six weeks, nine weeks. All this time is passing and nothing's changing. It's so easy to panic. It's so easy to spiral. And it's really hard in the moment to see that the end is there. We just have to keep going. When we're in the middle of it, it's so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's so hard to see it, right? But it's only looking back now I can say, oh my gosh, like in the middle of that, I really didn't realize that I just had to just keep walking. I mean, I did. Somewhere in me, I knew that. But now it's so easy to see. Like, thank God I didn't stop. Thank God I didn't spiral out. Thank God I didn't let myself go backwards. Like, if I just keep walking, I'm going to get to the end at some point. I think it took about three months and then like, my neck felt better, my strength was all of a sudden back, and everything started like, coming back together. But it took that three months for things to change. And during that three months, it feels like the longest three months of your life, right? And so I was thinking about that and I was like, wow, like, only looking back is it so clear, like, what to do when you're in it. It's so hard to keep going forward. And how does that apply to business? Why am I sharing this? How does that apply to growing seven figure businesses? Because of this, there are things that we'll get hit with in business every single day that feel very similar to being hit with that sudden neck issue, nerve issue that caused dysfunctioning in my, in my nerves and therefore the nerve to the tricep turned off. There are things like that that we get hit with every single day when we're in business, when we're taking ourselves to the next level, when we're achieving new goals, when we're starting new dreams, when we're building new dreams, when we're doing big things, we will have bigger problems. Like that's just a fact. And when you're an entrepreneur serious about growth, serious about creating an enterprise that has value and impact in the world and not just a nice lifestyle business that you collect a good paycheck from, if you're serious about building something that scales, you're going to have to turn on this side of your personality that can see the light at the end of the tunnel. And even if you can't see see it, that could know that it's there. And I want to share with you three specific takeaways. So first, if you're facing a problem in your business, focus on what you can do. Take your focus away from the problem. The problem needs a solution. You need to figure out and test out some ways to potentially address that problem. But once you've put something into place, put an idea into place, let it run and shift your focus. What you can do. Like that's what I did with the doctors, right? Like I wasn't sitting there thinking about, oh my God, my neck and oh my God, would I, can I ever be able to, you know, exercise again? Will I ever be able to lift a barbell again? Will ever be able to back sweat again? That would just take me down a dark hole. Instead, focus on what I could do. You train around your injury. Similarly in business, you work around the issues. So is there something that you can focus on? Do you need to focus on potentially hiring somebody who can be a better salesperson, who can be a better closer? Do you need to put yourself out there more? Do you need to make more asks of people in your network? Do you need to create a community around you? Just like I had that community of support around me that kept me going? Do you need to create a community around you of support that'll keep you going? Do you need to focus on where the weakest link is in your business and spend some time shoring that up? I'm gonna take a gander because I know you guys. I've talked to hundreds of Women entrepreneurs with six figure, multi six figure businesses at this point. And I'm gonna take a guess and say that one of your biggest business challenges right now is probably that you're doing too much. You think that in order to get to seven figures you need to create another product, go sell to another market, do something more, more, more, more, more, get on another platform, perform, blah, blah, blah. When really what you need to do is actually focus your efforts towards your highest performing thing. Focus your efforts to the thing with the greatest return on investment of your time. Because when you're at that level of like six figures or multi six figures, like let's face it, you don't have a lot of extra resources to invest in team and other consultants and other softwares and other market research and blah blah, blah. You don't, you, it's most likely you and probably an assistant if that. And what you need to do is to focus all of that energy that's a little scattered right now, be honest and focus it into figuring out what's going to be the biggest return on your investment. Focus on that 20% of what you're doing that's going to actually get you 80% of your results. Like that's what you need to do to cross the million dollar mark. Anyways, that's not what this is about right now. Point is focus on what you can do. That and proper money management is what I see all the time. Proper money management. Actually, when I was first growing my business, I got the best piece of it of advice from the beginning. One of my colleagues at the time, like she was another woman business owner in D.C. and she's like my biggest piece of advice to all of you guys is get a good cfo. And she was right. She was right. That changed the trajectory of my business. Okay, so that's the thing. Focus. That's one specific takeaway when you're facing a setback. Focus on what you can do, not on what you can't do. Focus on what you can do. Second thing, consistency. It wasn't that I had to spend hours every week, like multiple, multiple hours to fix my neck or you know, like do all these big major things. It was the tiniest, it was the tiniest of exercises. And I love that analogy because that's how it is with what we're building. It's the tiniest of steps forward that we take every single day that make the difference. If I didn't do this tiny little movement every day for three and a half months, I wouldn't have Healed my neck, I wouldn't have healed the issue. It wouldn't have happened. But when you're doing it, it feels so silly. It's like this tiny little thing. This is really making a difference. It's like, yeah, you just got to do that tiny little thing every day over and over again, even when you don't want to. And that tiny little thing looks different in business, right? That tiny little thing is making that call that you don't want to make. That tiny little thing is finally releasing your ads that you're a little bit unsure of. They're not perfect, right? That tiny little thing is like putting your head down, putting your headphones in and focusing down and finishing your book or like whatever it is, right? Like, it's those tiny little moments of, yep, go ahead and do it. Take that one step. Not getting overwhelmed by the big picture. Like when I was injured. So overwhelming. Oh, my God, will I ever be able to do anything again when I'm building my business? When you're building your business, it's so overwhelming. Where's the next client going to come from? How is this really going to scale? I have all of these things that I need to get done, and I'm like, there's too much going on. There's not enough time in the day. It's pressure. Blah, blah, blah. Stop, stop all that noise. One tiny little action after another every single day. Every single day, right? And then the third thing I want you guys to take away from this fitness analogy is to catch yourself and don't allow yourself to go into a downward spiral. Because, like, this whole episode is around how to handle setbacks. And when you're feeling like something is coming at you that just isn't what you wanted, it's not what you wanted. It's so easy to get upset. It's so easy to get into negative self talk. It's so easy to throw yourself a pity party. It's so easy to say, why is she getting all these media opportunities and collaboration opportunities? And I'm just as good and I'm better prepared, My product's better, and why aren't I? It's so easy to get into that game of negativity. And I'm sure you guys all know this, but it's so good to be reminded of it. That gets you nowhere. That gets you nowhere. So there are a few tips to make sure that you can catch yourself. The two main tips I have for you to catch yourself from going into a downward spiral. The first is to create a Mantra for yourself to stop your mind. Whenever your mind starts to spiral or freak out, you replace all those spiraling and freaking out thoughts with an empowering mantra that gives you the feeling that you need, whether it's to calm yourself down, center yourself, motivate yourself, focus on the right thing. You gotta create a mantra that feels like it's what you need. You gotta take it seriously, because this mind chatter is what kills us all from progress. It's our own minds and thoughts that don't allow us to actually make the progress on our goals that we're capable of making. Right? So what words would help you stop spiraling? Turn it into a short sentence, Six or seven words that you can just repeat to yourself. And if you find yourself spiraling, close your eyes, breathe. Repeat that mantra a few times. Brendan Burchard has just release. One word. Release. Release. Release. He calls it his release meditation. I prefer something that's a little bit longer. But you got to create your own, and you got to make it specific to this thing. Like, if you're freaking out about time, right? Then maybe your mantra is, I have all the time that I need. I have all the time that I need if I focus on the now. I have all the time that I need if I focus on the now. If you're freaking out about maybe clients leaving, two clients quit, okay? Or stopped your subscription or canceled their contract, maybe your mantra is, there are more than enough clients out there for me. It's my job to find them. Whatever your mantra is, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you feel empowered when you say that to yourself. So create a mantra. And then, just like the specialists that I went out there and I literally saw two different surgeons, A chiropractor, two different physical therapists, my trainer, and my community of friends who were checking on me, my family, right? Like, I had a support system. You need your support system. You need your squad, right? You need your accountability peers. You need your coach and mentor who's like the main doctor making sure you're going, you're on the right track. You need your specialists. Maybe there's a skill you need to learn. Maybe there's a specialist in leadership or specialist in sales or your cfo. Like, maybe there's somebody you need on your team, right? You need your squad. You need your people. So with your people and your mantra, and you can prevent yourself from going down in a negative spiral. And just believe, have the faith, keep the faith that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and you're gonna get through this. And by the way, at the end of the tunnel, you are so much stronger for it, you are so much wiser for it, you are so much more powerful for it. Because now you have the lived experience that you got through that tough time, that you got through that setback, you didn't let it take you down. And each time that you don't let a setback take you down, you build confidence, you build strength. You get more and more able to handle the setbacks that were once a hundred pounds now feel like a tiny little prick, right? A tiny little pin prick. The things that felt so hard before, now you're able to deal with in the matter of minutes, right? Like each time you go through a setback, you get so much better equipped to handle what's coming next. And that's how we get prepared, that's how we build the strength to actually build our businesses and to handle what's coming for us. At that level, we have to have the emotional strength, we have to have the mental fortitude to handle that level of business success and keeping ongoing and leadership and team and presence in the world and brand and all the things that come with being a CEO of a multimillion dollar company. So use it. So use the setback to help move you forward. Once you get to the end of the tunnel, no matter how long the tunnel is, there is an end and there was light at the end of the tunnel. You just gotta keep walking. It's hard to see it when you're in the middle of it. But these three tools will really help. The first is to focus on what you can do. That's akin to training around the injury, right? Focus on what you can do. The second is consistency. It's about the small little steps that you take every single day that will get you to the end of the tunnel. If you quit, if you stop, if you think this is so small, it won't make a difference, you will never get there. You've got to keep going. Take that step. One foot in front of another, one step in front of the other. And lastly, catch yourself from going down the rabbit hole of negativity. Catch your mind by one, creating a mantra for yourself and two, surrounding yourself with your squad. You need your support system, you need your mentor, you need your accountability peers, you need your friends and family. You need the people that are going to help you get through it when you're in that tunnel. So I hope this helped you guys today. I hope you can use your setback if you're going through something tough right now as an opportunity to develop the inner strength, to develop the emotional strength and the mental strength to get you through it so that you can build and be the person that you need to be to achieve all of your goals and dreams going forward. Lots of love and I'll talk to you next time.