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Hi, friends. Welcome. It is February 6, 2026, and this is another episode of the Dream Life Club podcast. My name is Sumi, and if you don't know me, I am a former Inc. 500 CEO turned recording artist, building my dreams in LA now under the chaos of what's going on in this country. So I'm talking more these days about building dreams in the midst of. Of political turmoil, tragedy, pain, a feeling of powerlessness, helplessness, as well as, like, extreme technological advancements that are, like, rocking the world and climate issues. And, like, we're living in interesting times, to say the least. And so we're connecting in to the times on this podcast and I'm talking to other creatives, artists, thinkers, writers, leaders, organizations, organizers, activists who need to keep creating in the midst of this chaos. Right. Like, that's the theme for these series of episodes at least. And more than anything, like, I'll just be honest with you guys, like, this is a pep talk to myself as well, because sometimes it's really easy to fall into feelings of despair and to fall into, like, what's the point of making art? You know, like, during such scary times and numbing out and checking out completely from. I believe what we're here to do. I think tapping into, for me, tapping into the knowing that this isn't all just random. Yeah. Like, if you believe in God or some sort of higher power, power or energy, then we have to believe that we're here for a purpose. And wherever you can find that belief from, I think is the first and most important thing, because tapping into what our purpose is during these times is what's going to give you power. It's what's going to calm your nervous system, and it's what's going to actually help you make the impact that we're all supposed to make during these times. So I want to start off this episode sharing really vulnerably with you because I want to connect. I want to let you guys know that, like, first of all, I'm here with you and, like, all these lessons that I try to share on this podcast come from, yes, maybe, you know, some academic knowledge, some things that I've learned, some research, but also from personal experience. And I've usually more often than not been in the mud and then had to figure out how to get out of the mud myself. And then those are the things that I share so that I'm bringing everyone in to what's working for me and then hopefully taking a macro picture of, like, what's proven to Work and what other leaders are saying and what the research says and all of that sort of thing. So I want to share first a really what might could be considered an embarrassing story, right? But, like, fuck embarrassing, honestly. Like, fuck cringe, right? Like, this is the time for all of us to just be super real. And the year was 2020. I'm in the middle of the pandemic, and I'm, you know, in my early 30s, single and really in the mode of freaking out that I'm still single. And I was like, you know, all my friends had basically, like, just gotten married and started to have kids. And I have, you know, not met anybody yet that went anywhere. Actually, I had recently gone through a breakup that really rocked me. And then the pandemic hits and I'm sort of locked in my house in Nashville, not seeing anyone. I had just moved to Nashville too, so I only had, like, one really good friend there, and I was starved for connection. I met a guy through a matchmaker who lived in Boston. This guy. We had like a Zoom one night. Do you remember, like, the pandemic dates? They were like, you would, like, you would have a Zoom date and then, like, order the same food from, like, a restaurant or something and, like, eat it together. And so, like, we did that on Zoom, and we were long date. Like, I was in Nashville and he was in Boston. And anyways, I immediately pedestaled this guy. I thought to myself, like, oh, my God, this is my dream man. Like, he's handsome and successful and super successful and, you know, seemed to really open up to me. And I was like, totally in one of those modes where I was so starved for connection that any guy who checked the right boxes on paper and gave me a little bit of attention, I would, like, think I would start, you know, imagining our future together. I think a lot of women do this. Most people don't admit it. A lot of women do this. And it's not a good way to live because we don't know these people. We don't know these people at all. But that's what I was doing. That's what was in the mindset. So we had this, like, great, you know, three or four hour first date on Zoom, and then he went on to, like, call the next day, and we chatted and we had for a few days in a row, it was like, a lot of intensity, really fast. And Covid was such an odd time, right, because, like, everybody's starved for connection. So of course, like, you know, that amount of attention doesn't actually mean anything. And if we're gonna stereotype, we can admit that, like, men are usually, like, less available for future tripping. Like, men are a little less prone to imagining future scenarios with someone they've just met. I think women do that more often because of societal factors, because of biological factors. Like, there's a lot of reasons for this, but. So after about a week of like, what felt like really intense connection, but not in person even, I remember like every day waking up, sort of feeling really attached to texts from this guy and calls from this guy. And then we started talking about, like, when we could see each other and when he could come visit. And then the energy shifted and I started feeling more space and more time between texts. And I remember, like, my nervous system. This is the important part. My nervous system started spiking every time. There would be a longer time period that went by until I heard from him than I wanted. It was hard for me to self regulate. Remember this right here. Cause this will apply to what I'm about to say next. Regarding, we all need your art. Okay, so stick with me. My nervous system would spread and I would start freaking out and wondering, you know, oh, is, did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? Is he losing it? Is he losing interest? Did he meet someone else? Like, fact of the matter is I didn't even know this guy. But I'm like, acting first of all as if he owes me something. And secondly, interpreting any breaks in communication as like the world was ending, Going for walks, listening to like depressing playlists, feeling sorry for myself, really getting in my feels about it. And finally, then every time I would see a text notification from him, like, I would be like, oh my God, like, it would like, you know, dopamine hit, dopamine hit. Dopamine hit. And so finally he plans a time to like, come visit me. And I'm so excited, but also so nervous because why? I'm afraid of screwing things up. I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, because I wasn't embodied in this connection at all. I had totally put him on a pedestal and I was so nervous about wanting to make sure it worked that I was completely lost to myself. And he comes and visits and I remember it being very awkward because I was trying way too hard. I had like, I was trying way too hard. And he was doing things that were showing me that he wasn't actually even taking this very seriously yet. I was like, so wanting to. Wanting him to like me and wanting things to go well. And so caught up in the stories in my mind. And then we had like, it was just like a short visit. It was like one night and the next morning and half day or something. And then I drove him to the airport. I drove back to the airport. And I remember, like the goodbye, but being like my heart sank. And before he drove, but before we went to the airport, we went out to eat at this restaurant. And we actually didn't even go out to eat. We got like, to go. We got food to go. And I remember, like, there was no physical closeness. He. We're like waiting for the food to be ready. And he sat across from me, like, didn't. And I was just thinking, like, wow, like what? You know, I remember like my heart was like my head, this like, pit in my gut. And I was like, oh, no. Like, this is. Is he. Does he, you know what? All concerned about what he was thinking, not what I was feeling or thinking. Did I like, Did I like this relationship so far? Did I like how it felt? And why wasn't I more concerned with that? Right. All lessons I've very much come to learn along the way, thank God. But so he leaves, he sends some generic texts like, had a great time. And then I don't hear from him. And I that time period. And I, you know, I finally did sporadically hear from him, like over the course of the next weeks, months, like, very sporadically. But clearly this guy was not interested in pursuing a relationship with me. And who knows why, right? But those were the facts. My reaction is what I want to focus on that potential. And then what seemed like the, you know, the drop, the sudden drop, like it was like, it was like a drug induced high. And then, you know, the down that comes after that, the low that came after that I wasn't able to handle. And so for weeks after that visit, I'm completely dysregulated. Really kind of unable to focus on my life, my priorities, my work, my fitness, my friends, my family, my interests, my hobbies, taking care of myself. So many things that I was working on that all sort of like got really overshadowed by the color of this feeling of heartbreak. I didn't even know this guy, right? So it's really embarrassing to admit. And it's very important too, because so many sensitive artists like us fall into this category for a number of reasons. Some of it has to do with how we were raised, the attention we did or didn't get as kids, relationships we may have been in that have, you know, kind of knocked us and Made us feel like we had to chase love. And all these various reasons we can analyze in therapy. But for the purposes of this podcast, it's really important to recognize these patterns and then figure out what to do with them. Because in this current state, this political climate today, the same thing is relevant. How we react when something crazy happens, when the administration does something, when we see the tragedies that are going on, when we feel powerless, how do we react and what do we do? And so my process of healing had so many ingredients to it, and there are things we all hear about, and a number of those things we're just learning to understand the feelings in my body, learning to understand what I was afraid of doing, thought work to turn around my fears, to build stories that were more helpful for outcomes that I wanted instead of reinforcing my fears. So much to be said for all of that. But the one thing that I think no one talks about, that I want to talk about here, is something called channeling. We all know what it means to channel our emotions towards something, but I don't think this concept gets enough attention. When we feel a certain way, especially as creatives, that's fuel to channel into something that we can create and make for ourselves so that our truth and our feelings can live outside of us. I almost think, like, that's the mission for us as artists is to take how our interpretation of the world or of our personal situations or our relationships or our feelings, take our interpretation of that. And instead of letting it paralyze us, or instead of letting it contain us, or instead of letting it trap us into, you know, fight or flight or freeze. Right. Like, often if we feel dysregulated, it's like we either numb out. That's flight. Like, we leave, mentally leave the arena. Right? You just go somewhere else. Whether it's food, drugs, movies, sex, the gym. Like, it actually could be like, even. Even things like, you know, the exercise, which I think actually the gym is probably, obviously the most healthy of all those options and probably a good way to channel emotions. But if we're not actually feeling them, it's also numbing out. But if we take those emotions and instead of letting it, we could also freeze. We could sit there and doom. Scroll. That's freezing. Right? Um, but if we take those emotions and instead channel them into a piece of art that we're creating, we can also channel them into. Create creativity physically, too. Right? Like, that's how the gym could be a great actual channeling place for us as well. But channeling them into art as creatives is the key. I mean, you know, I think we all intuitively know this, right? Like, after our heartbreak, what do we go do? We go write a song. We go, you know, if you're a. If you're a painter that you. You, you know, draw something. If you're. You're a singer, you write a song. Like, I think we intuitively know this, but making it a conscious practice is transformational. Seeing something, keeping up with what's going on in the world right now, right? Seeing something that hurts us and then turning that into a piece of art is our job. And I remember, you know, I have a master's in public policy, and I was so, you know, I worked in D.C. for over a decade, and I was. I'm so committed to making. Doing my part to impact positively the state of this country and therefore the state of the world. And I was talking to a pretty prominent organizer, activist, Courtney Tunis, when I was getting my master's. And I remember she's great leader, writer, organizer. And she was like, sumi, anything can be activism. Like, it doesn't have to show up as, like, running for office, right? Anything. Or even protesting on the streets or, you know, making calls to our representatives, which are all very important pieces of the pie, right? But this idea of, like, she was like, cooking can be activism. And I was like, what do you mean, cooking? And I even have this clip from our little interview, cooking can be activism. And I was like, how so? She's like, I mean, think about it. Everyone, everyone in community has a role to play, right? So, for example, like, now we know that there's so many of our neighbors who are scared to leave their homes. We can absolutely see how cooking can be activism now, right? And so I think there's so many ways to show up for our community that aren't how we're used to thinking about making an impact or activism. And for us, for the people who have defined ourselves as being artists, that means we have to transmute. We have to channel what's going on right now in our realities, in our physical worlds, channel it through our interpretation, and make something that lives outside of us so that we document the realities of this time, so that we all remain human, so that we remind people of our collective humanity. That is such an important role during these times. Maybe, you know, just as important. I'm not going to rank roles right now just as. Just as important as anything else we could be doing to be making an impact. I still think we have to make our calls I still think we need to figure out what our neighbors need. You know, many ways we can support our communities, but our role as artists is to channel our emotions of these times into our art. And that will help us self regulate. Back to the dating story, right? That's a key component of processing these times. It's gotta go through us and out into the physical world. And then we're free. And then we're able to do the next thing and the next thing and meet the next opportunity and meet the next moment with all of the creative forces that we have inside of us. And we have to trust that. We have to trust that we are here for a reason. We have to trust that our purpose is not to freeze or doom scroll or numb out, but to actively do our parts in this moment, to create art, to channel the feelings, to channel our brokenheartedness into beautiful things that live outside our body. And by beautiful, I mean human. Human things that remind us all of our collective humanity. Authentic, vulnerable, real human pieces of art that live outside of our body. That is our job. I love you guys so much. I'm going to be here for you every single week. So I hope you keep tuning in my heart to yours. See you next week.