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A
Foreign.
B
Are we just going to try this?
A
Try what?
B
This podcast.
A
Oh, I thought we were doing it.
B
Oh, oh.
A
Are we not?
B
I don't know.
A
All right. Welcome back to the duck call room, ladies and gentlemen. Now we're doing it. See, we've done our little. I don't even know what you'd call it. Planning session maybe. We really didn't talk about anything, but.
B
We have planning sessions.
A
Yeah, sure. That's what I call the first 10 minutes when we get in here. Try to figure out what everybody's up to. But as you'll notice, we are Silas. Less. Not Silas. Silas. He's in Texas deer hunting. So.
B
And we found that out at 10.
A
O' clock, 10pm last night, which gave.
B
Us time to scramble.
A
Then we ended up with Clay and Heath. So both have been on here, right? Yes, I know Clay has.
C
Because returning we got.
A
We got ripped for waiting 17 minutes to introduce him.
B
He was just some beautiful haired man.
D
So the question then is who's the replacement?
C
Oh, that is. That is the question.
A
I don't think you can. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
D
Not the replacement.
B
You are.
D
But who's the latest guy, you know who got called last? And I bet that was probably me.
B
Oh, no, no, I think you were in with you.
A
Oh.
B
And then he happened to be sitting on my couch.
A
Yeah.
B
Whenever he was last night when we found outside wasn't here and I was like.
D
So then he would be size replacement.
A
Were y' all watching football or. Yes, playing video games.
C
We were watching football and manly activities. Football and s'. Mores.
A
Oh, there we go.
D
Doing s'.
A
They have outside couch outside.
B
Oh, man, you got money. You know how people got outdoor furniture? What kind of question is that?
C
I mean, the kids were involved, so it made sense that we were doing 10 o'.
D
Clock.
C
Wasn't just the two of us.
A
Well, it felt like 10 o' clock because of stupid time change. But.
B
Yeah, I don't think I can go down that road today.
A
Why not?
B
It hurts my soul.
A
You don't like closing the honey hole in the dark?
B
I. Let's stop.
A
You don't like walking out of work.
B
Because I like politicians who keep their promises and I'm just going to leave it at that. You know, I was told that was. That was not happening again. Every year they tell me and every year I get excited. If you're out there and you're thinking about running for office, I will vote for you on that one thing alone.
A
Yeah, forget all your other principles.
B
Don't care. Throw Them out the window.
C
But that's on you that you keep voting on it and they keep lying to you.
B
Yeah.
A
The problem is is I don't even care which one they pick. Just pick one.
B
That is incorrect. There is only one correct answer.
A
I do like being. I do like the afternoons because like me and the boys have been going to Pin Oak every afternoon. I get them, they're like, go camp, go camp, go camp. Well now we get over, I get back home and I still got two hours till their bedtime. And it used to be an hour. Like we get home, we'd eat dinner, we take a bath and we were in the bed. Now it's like what do we do? Now it's pitch black, dark outside and it finally got a little cool here. So you know, there it's, it's. Speaking of, I don't know, it is.
B
The fall officially speaking of those boys.
A
Yeah. Well, about them.
D
How late do you let them stay up on Halloween?
A
No, they were in bed. They were.
B
Them kids go to bed at like 7:15.
A
Come on now. Oh yeah.
D
Well, when did you start trick or treating? Because I saw the pictures.
A
Oh, we were. Well in the daylight. We were the daylight trick or treaters with worship music playing on turtle boxes. We were going down. Did you see going down the street.
D
Did you see the boys?
B
Oh, they were, they were little duck.
A
Little green heads, little mallard. Drakes. Yeah. Except I gave him a mallard. He and duck call. So I. They didn't know. Okay. But I got tired of what does the duck say? And they were going quack. So I was like, no, you blow the duck call. Like when somebody looks at what does the duck say? You just blow the duck off. So I finally got them trained on that.
D
So you and mom dressed up as hunters though, right?
A
Allegedly.
D
Allegedly.
A
I just wore work clothes.
D
I'll say this, your boys were adorable.
A
Yeah. And then as it turns out we had friend Curly and his crew come over. Not planned also to camouflage adults with one little baby duck.
D
Oh really?
A
And a dog. So it was like very popular costume.
B
I'm not going to say your neighborhood's name, but I bout.
A
You can say it. No, it was trick or treat was fun. Yeah. We took for all the people that have the nasty comments about Christians shouldn't participate in Halloween. We were playing worship music going down the trick or treating. So we were out there sharing the love of Jesus while we were, you know, I. But I do have to work on my kids evaluation of candy buckets. Mm. Because they brought back Some trash.
C
Oh, they were just taking whatever was coming.
A
Oh, they. They just brought back the prettiest package.
B
Yep.
A
And I'm like, man, y'. All. But they don't eat candy because Brittany won't give them any candy. The only candy they get is from this guy.
D
I was gonna say they don't eat candy.
A
They eat powdered donuts and they eat famous Amos cookies because they're on the counter at the camp.
D
If you walk out of powdered sugar donuts these boys can put down, it is unbelievable.
A
I actually don't. Which is what's funny.
D
I. Oh, they do.
B
You're like the.
D
You're.
B
Hold on.
A
I don't. I know I look like this. And I don't like powdered donuts.
B
And you're like the king of gas station pastries.
A
I don't eat them.
B
And that's. That's where you draw.
A
They are very unhealthy. No, I just don't like the way that they. They're like slobber stoppers. As soon as you put them in your mouth, you're. You're begging for something to drink. Like all that sugar goes everywhere and.
C
They make a mess. They get.
A
They. Do they. You can't hide. You can't hide the fact that you had that on the way home if you wanted to. Like, if you were. And some kind of accountability.
D
Not teaching Jackson to hide his addiction to powdered sugar.
A
No, I don't care. I'll let him. I let him drive in it. It's all over.
B
Hiding the fact that you had a powdered hostess donut.
A
Yeah.
D
And Waylon, he wants the famous Amos.
A
Yeah.
D
So we open both.
A
You go look on the dash of the side by sides down there. Now there's open packages of their snacks sitting on everywhere. Yeah, it's. It's crazy. So.
B
Well, you want to know what one of my favorite parts of the fall has been?
A
What?
B
When you walk into academy. Have you been to the academy here?
A
Not.
B
It's a local store. I think they sell hunting and maybe fish and stuff. But they're. They're a cool store. Even I go there. And when you walk in the door, there's this giant poster of a guy.
A
With really tiny legs.
B
Of a guy with really great hair and legs.
A
Look at his tiny leg.
C
This guy Clay.
B
When did you become a part time model?
A
When he started hanging around me.
D
Say, you hang out with Martin too much and your legs shrink. And he. He just put you down into whatever.
B
That's the first thing you see when you Walk in West Monro's Academy. Pretty much.
A
Pretty much all of.
B
Pretty much all of them.
D
I had no idea. But I'm getting calls from South Carolina and Texas.
A
Pretty much all of them.
B
Okay, well, me, we went to buy some baseball stuff and I'm going to just play this video cuz this was what my son immediately said.
A
Oh, what.
C
What did you just ask me? That sign, is that Sat?
B
No, that's Clay. He thought that was like a young psy Robertson. So maybe you are the replacement.
D
I have been called a crazy uncle.
A
Yeah, there you go. There you go.
B
But I. I've laughed very hard every time I go in that store at thinking that a child thought you were saying.
A
My favorite part, specifically mine is the tiny leg. I mean, it's always my favorite part.
C
I didn't realize those were legs. I mean, they're so small and for.
A
For folks at home. He has very normal sized legs. Just the way that the picture and the.
D
How tall are you?
A
Six. Four? Yeah. Six. Two. Yeah, yeah.
D
No.
A
Four or five, whatever matter.
D
Tiny compared to y'.
A
All. Y' all are all huge, but not that tiny. But you're not.
D
I'm not that tiny. I'm six foot tall. But I'm looking up.
B
You really got to work on your calves. I've got a jump rope. Somebody skips.
A
Somebody skips leg day.
C
That's right.
A
That's all I'm saying. Yeah, that's all I'm getting.
D
Oh, man.
B
You can get on Heath's workout plan. It sucks.
C
Come on, let's do it.
B
Oh, it hurts.
D
I need to hear about this.
B
So Heath's an old man now. My best friend is 50.
A
I am. Yeah.
D
Wait, wait, what year? 75.
C
75.
D
What day?
C
August.
D
He's young. January 30th.
A
Okay.
C
So lazy old man.
A
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, why are both of our best friends older than that? Much older than us.
B
It's a weird thing that we've done.
C
Yeah.
B
Because we're old souls. Our other best friend is 78 and he just got all new teeth.
A
Yeah. I've. I found that I struggle. I found that I don't do well with peers. I'll just be honest. Like if we're. If we're plus or minus two or three years, I'm not in a good spot. Like, it's just not. We don't do well. So either much older or much younger. I love kids.
B
Like 12 year olds.
A
Even 4 year old, 3 year olds. I got a couple of them. We get along well. But outside of that One, the closer we get to being a peer, the more I struggle. I don't know what it is. I don't. I have no idea. But.
D
Well, yes, he's struggling. I'm processing this right now. I'm sitting here going, I'm 10 years older, right?
C
Yeah.
D
But does that mean that I'm that much less mature or. He needed the maturity in his life.
C
Well, that's it.
A
So now the problem is, is your best friend and your wife are 40.
D
That's not a problem. That means that I, like, I'm. I'm immature, though.
C
That's what it is. Because if they're old souls, what does that make us? Immature, I guess.
B
Yeah. All your friends are really scraping the bottom of the barrel.
A
Yeah.
B
As the leader of the pack.
A
Absolutely.
B
I'm saying we're all young and stupid and you're 50. I know.
C
I didn't realize this about myself until now.
A
Well, sometimes you want to be the smartest guy in the group.
C
Exactly.
A
Like.
B
Well, you got that.
A
Yeah.
B
Low bar.
A
Yep.
B
But. But yesterday, me and Heath were about to watch Saints game, which is obviously going to be a good time. And as we had, like 15 minutes to say, let's just run a mile to end it, because it's the one thing I can beat Heath at that.
C
Yeah.
D
We've never. As our friendship has progressed, we've never said, hey, let's run a mile to end the day.
B
Well, he. He'd already had me lifting very heavy weights.
A
Now we always argue about who's going to walk and get to Ranger or I am walking. If I walk, I'm leaving. When I get there, I'm leaving. I'm not turning around and coming back to get you.
D
It's. Who's less injured at time.
A
Yeah.
D
How do you feel right now? How are your knees?
B
So my whole body hurts because I've been lifting all heats, very heavy weights, trying not to go down too much because it's embarrassing.
C
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was.
B
But let's shut up.
A
No, you did, but every time you change plates, though, you. You get a breather.
B
That's right.
A
Don't be afraid to go down.
B
So then I'm like, we're gonna run and I'm gonna whoop him. We're running, starting strong.
C
It was a jog we started with.
B
It's a slight jog.
D
And I'm.
B
And I can tell my old 50s catching up to me. We get to the end and I'm like, I'm about to just leave him.
C
I knew he was doing This.
B
I could sense it.
A
Sandbagging. Yeah. Yeah.
B
And I'm. I'm breathing. I'm singing while we're running, trying to prove a point. Being that guy. And then there's this thing in old men where they cannot let you win. Can't do it.
A
Oh yeah.
C
Can't do it.
B
And I start sprinting and his big clunky feet are just right at me. And I'm like, well, he slowed down. Then I realized I'm about to fall over and puke and he's gonna die before he lets me win.
C
I will die before I stop.
B
So I stopped and he beat me. So a 50 year old man is in way better shape than me. And I'm sad about it.
C
Good time.
A
That's fine. You shouldn't be sad about it. You should say good for him. Good.
B
Well, good for you.
A
But give you something to aspire.
B
I wanted one thing to beat him at.
A
No, no. Keep them coming back.
D
Get him jump roping. You can beat him there.
B
That's because he blew out his Achilles. I didn't even know that.
D
But there you go.
B
That's an easy win.
A
Yeah. The day me and him start racing each other on a one mile run is gone terribly wrong.
D
Yeah.
A
Yeah.
C
It was one of those.
D
Look behind us.
B
But Yalls, friendship, shooting, whatever. You wouldn't need to tell him about duck stamp.com and I would have to tell him about it.
C
Absolutely.
A
That's exactly right.
B
Have you got your duck stamp yet?
C
I don't, but tell me about where I could go if I wanted to get one.
B
You go to duck stamp.com and it's right there on your phone. Martin can pull up his duck stamp in 0.2 seconds flat. Watch this. Boom. That was a little longer than 0.2 seconds, but it is there.
A
I'd accidentally double tap, so I had to go back. There it is.
B
Get your duck stamp at. It's super easy. It's digital. Now, Clay, you got a lot of people coming to your camp, so you're gonna need that handy.
D
And it's the first year I did it. FYI. I always love buying the duck stamp at the post office. Cause you actually get the physical copy, but they actually mail it to you. They just wait till after season so that you can't cheap.
A
That way you can put it on whatever you decide to get taxed.
D
And I love it.
B
You know what the best part of my morning routine is?
A
What?
B
I have no idea. What is it you do? It's AG1 because it helps me stay one scoop ahead. Sigh. How many scoops of AG1 will do you?
D
It'd be.
A
That'll be one.
B
One. Look, if you want to make better digestive health in your guts, AG1, add it to your morning routine and you're going to notice a world of difference. Everywhere you go, in your focus, in your bathroom, you're going to feel better. Look, you take it consistently and you're just ready to take on the world. I'm healthier than I've been in about 12 years, and AG1's been a part of that. Even got AGZ at night. It's big time. Look, the holiday season often means crowded airports, loads of travel, and darker days that can really throw off your rhythm. But AG1 can help you stay one scoop ahead. AG1's Antioxidant Superfoods, B vitamins, probiotics, enzymes, and functional mushrooms help keep your immune system strong, your energy steady, and your gut healthy. And whether I'm indulging in delicious holiday meals and treats, I know I can count on AG1 to stand in the gap with a full spectrum of micronutrients to support my whole body health. AG1 is a daily health drink that does it all. Head to drink ag1.comduck to get a free welcome kit with an AG1 flavor sampler and a bottle of vitamin D3 plus K2 when you first subscribe. That's drinkag1.comduck. You're just an eclectic man.
A
No, no.
B
That hair.
A
Eccentric.
B
Eccentric.
C
Eccentric.
B
Eclectic means something different, doesn't it?
A
I don't know. But I always. I always. I always describe him as eccentric.
D
I love.
A
I mean, you got the locks, you got the curls, you got it all.
B
The goatee.
A
Yeah.
B
The props.
A
He's got prop. He's got so much stuff.
D
Hence, I would have brought you props. I got props.
A
The reason he knows where this is is because he just cleaned out his house.
D
Oh, y'.
A
All.
D
And the reason I just cleaned up my house and I will tell you, it's because I Sunday morning, I go out, I have my obligatory first cup of coffee and I'm sitting by myself.
A
Obligatory.
D
Obligatory.
A
It's okay. I need to work. I'm used to changing a guy.
D
I love it. I was a little more like sa.
A
But anyway, that was obligatory. Close to a rucker statement, too. It was in a minute.
D
I love.
A
Wow.
D
And so I'm drinking my coffee and as fast as it goes, a little gray dash through. Through my living room.
C
Oh, yeah, Mouse, we know what that is.
A
Yep. Yeah, it's Over. What's wrong with that? I told him. I said, when it gets cold outside, they come inside.
D
They ain't trying to be, say, a mouse running through your living room. Yeah, negative. Not gonna happen. Yeah.
B
Do you know how many lizards live in my kitchen?
D
I'm fine with lizards.
A
Yeah. With geckos.
D
I'm fine with chameleons. No, I'm fine with all those things.
C
Zero. Yeah.
A
Thank you.
C
Thank you. Yep.
D
Yeah. No.
B
And so you just cleaned out your whole house?
D
Pretty much. I can tell you this. The downstairs is for sure. Crystal cleanup, including the garage.
A
No mouse. No mouse home.
D
Lots of.
B
I don't want no mouse in my house.
D
Yeah, feces.
B
I would scream, right?
D
No, it was brutal.
B
Martin would pick it up by his hands and release it back into the wild.
C
I would.
B
I would eat it senseless. With a very long brooms, let's say.
D
Why Martin?
A
The mouse's fault.
B
Then whose fault is it?
C
They gotta learn, Martin.
A
Well, they do.
D
I help build the house. We have foam walls. We have everything sealed. I have no idea how he got in, which means I don't think he can get out.
A
Oh, he can get out.
D
Oh, no.
A
Trust me, if you can get in.
B
You can get out.
A
Yeah, he can get out.
B
Unless it's Angola.
A
Yeah. He may have just been running supplies. He may have just been on a supply run. Like, I'm coming and get some nuts. Take back to my family.
D
Well, he came out from under the couch, and so I had to look that.
A
Have you not seen every break in movie ever? All the. All the burglars get under the couch. Oh, that Trouble pass. And then there they go.
D
So do you name your mice like you name your.
A
I did not name the beaver.
D
You named the beaver.
A
The boys named the beaver.
B
I don't know what they're talking about.
D
He's.
C
Yeah.
A
You feel me?
C
Some context here.
B
You've seen guys that, like, jog. Don't know what you're talking about.
A
If you've seen my Instagram, we've had. So we're trying to move water for ducks, right? Like, it's always.
D
Let's back up. Context. Phil Robertson, known for.
A
Cy.
D
Robertson, known for. And killing beavers. Beavers.
A
Yes, beavers. I was a beaver.
D
Episode 1 Season 1 Duck Honesty Go watch. What is Uncle Si doing?
B
Beaver is the greatest problem known to a duck hunter.
D
Thank you.
A
Yeah.
D
All right, so we have a beaver.
A
One male, at the camp right now. Young male, trying to establish him a territory.
B
What's wrong with that?
D
He's blocking the water we're coming up on duck season. He's blocking up the water to go into the duck land.
A
But see the problem. The boys are all into paw patrol and rubble and crew so on there. That's two shows. Sorry.
B
He's kids are all in college.
C
Kids are older.
D
I have that too. But I also have a five year.
A
Old on those two shows. They have a beaver that is a nuisance, but they just call him Crunchy. So when I said we got to unstop the pipe that the beaver, they started calling it Crunchy.
B
Oh, and now you can't kill him.
A
Oh, I can't shoot something with my kid. I, I have no problem shooting him. But when we saw him, he's. They were dove hunting and they want he can shoot something they've never named a dove.
B
Sure you can name something with a name.
A
When I kill something.
D
Yeah.
A
And when I saw him, I said, oh, there's the beaver. And they said, oh, we want to see Crunchy. I can't just.
B
Oh, that have been the best life lesson ever. That would have been tears.
A
No, they want to put Crunchy in jail because he's being bad.
B
My papa had a taxidermied beaver at his house when I was growing up. You could have shot him, taken him to Magoo's, waited six to eight weeks.
A
I can't do it permanently.
B
Put them in your living room.
A
I can't do it, man. I couldn't do it. Not with them naming the be. I couldn't do it. He's killing. I could not do it.
B
What would Phil Robertson say right now?
A
He was laughing. Probably as soon as they named the beaver because he knew. And you know, I'm not gonna say Phil was necessarily a gentle parent anyway, so Bill would have taken the opportunity to shoot said beaver and then go grab its genitalia and talk to a 3 year old about here. This is where little beavers go. Keep that little beaver in your pocket and you won't have to worry about it, you know? So like I don't, I don't, I don't know that Parenting 101 is. Should be consulted from feel on everything. That's okay.
B
Well, that's the reason Jace is the way.
D
But I was land management 101.
B
Yeah.
D
What happens Kill every beaver.
A
No, not Crunchy. Not Crunchy. How do you not. Kids, if I go back there right now and there's Crunchy, I will shoot him and then we will magically never find Crunchy when we go back down.
C
Okay, so there's a plan. It's just the kids aren't around.
A
I just can't be. Yeah, I can't let them watch me shoot Crunchy.
D
So you came yesterday without the boys to go?
A
I come back with the boys. They wanted to go see Crunchy's pipe. So we went and saw.
D
Are you seeing what's happening?
A
The first thing they said.
D
Beginning intimate relationship with Crunchy the Beaver. And he's killing me here.
A
Well, the first thing this morning, they walked in. Intimate relationship. He's a cool beaver, man.
B
Oh, there it is.
A
I may get him mounted because now there's a story. But, you know, I may bring Crunchy home one day under my arm, and that may be the. I may be the dad of the year. I don't know.
B
I will pitch in 100 bucks to the taxidermy of Crunchy. You have my word.
A
I. He'll pay for it all. Don't worry.
D
No, but I'm throwing in my hundred.
A
Right now because if he don't know.
B
How much a paper mount cost.
A
It's crunchy.
D
We'll get out of here. There's my $100.
A
It's way cheaper to pay the taxpayer away than to pay the excavator to come. Keep digging the pipe out.
B
That's the difference between me and Clay. I would have to like Venmo you or find some money. Go find my shoebox. Clay just pulled it out.
C
That's why you have an older friend.
D
We still believe in cash.
A
Wisd. Absolutely. Wisdom.
B
That's why he's here.
D
Yep.
B
Did you go to the grocery store yet?
A
Huh? Okay, I'm going.
B
Okay.
D
But you have cash on you.
C
Absolutely.
B
See, he doesn't. He's all the way here from Georgia because he's a standup comedian. Doing a little bit tonight for a church.
D
Tell me about this.
A
Yes, yes. Going over.
C
Can I mention the church by name? Christ Church here in West Monroe. Doing a little volunteer appreciation down at the West Monroe Convention Center.
B
He's a standup comedian that does commercials with Peyton Manning. What's your best friend do?
A
Hey.
D
I mean, Academy.
C
I mean, we're just fellow actors here.
A
Yes, they're both. They're both paid actors.
C
We are the same.
A
Yeah, they're both right where you want to be.
D
Well, that was fun.
A
All of the fun, none of the responsibility.
C
Oh, yeah. Yes, Absolutely.
B
I do want to know if anybody was watching this. Like, I've seen that guy somewhere. And then they said, that's the guy that makes fun of Peyton Manning in a Nestle Toll House commercial.
C
That's it.
A
Or they would say. I mean, they could say most of ours are probably still watching that were on the Duck Commander Cruise. That's the guy that us for a week at sea.
C
Oh, yeah. If you were on the Duck Commander Cruise. I was your host on either of them.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
C
That was a good time. I still think about when you got those beads in my hair.
A
Yeah. And they tried to beat me out of like $300.
C
Oh, yeah, yeah.
B
You had beads in your hair.
A
I got.
B
I got three of them.
A
I had a little hair then.
C
Yeah. There was more to work with.
A
Yeah. Now granted, I will say most of them were from ear down. He thought of in the back.
B
Yeah, exactly.
C
Wait, do I tell you about this one?
B
Code Duck at checkout. Oh, you had to go back and do it though.
A
Yeah, I'd have to go back in time before my head turned into Mars. Yeah. You know, just little pockets of water every now and then the. No. Yeah, I got. I. I stopped at the little tourist trap and I thought braided hair on me would be funny. It was, and it was funny. You have no idea how bad that crap hurts.
B
I've never done it.
A
They pulled my scalp so tight, which I have a lot of head size 8 up here. I couldn't. I couldn't take it. I was like, Brittany, cut these things out. Like I cut my hair cut. Just get this out of my.
B
On the cruise.
A
Yes. I had such a bad headache. It was like the shortest live braid job ever.
D
So because they had pulled the.
A
They had. They had my. They had my seven strands of hair on top so tight. Like you. I swear you could have played a guitar on them. Like it. It hurts so bad. So then when I. Now when I.
D
You were on a Duck Dynasty cruise.
C
Yeah. And that's kind of auction those. It took hours. And he was on stage with the beads for 10 minutes.
A
Yeah. That was like nice out.
D
It.
A
I mean, I had such a bad headache. It. I know. I. My hats off to people that wear that every day. I don't know how they do it.
B
I've never done anything with my hair. Except sometimes I watch if you end.
A
Up on a cruise ship.
C
Yeah.
B
I ain't brave.
A
No. You'd have been there for 12 days. As much hair as you had, there's no way you could. Oh, yeah.
C
It would take a while.
B
It takes me a long time just get a haircut. Which is why I didn't go for, you know, 15 years.
D
You could have braided your beard. Your beard's even thick.
B
Yeah.
A
I got a lot and high.
B
I got a lot going on.
A
Yeah. Yeah. I have to work with.
C
Yeah.
A
Yeah.
B
It's only about. Although I. I'm gonna open up about something that's been bothering me again. I've been doing this lately on the podcast. I'm getting these weird new hairs on my shoulders.
A
Oh, that's fine. They eventually fill in.
B
Okay. I'm just. Y' all are older than me.
C
I.
A
You know, I wear a lot of.
B
Basketball jerseys around the house. It's kind of. They're comfortable to me. And now I'm looking down, I'm like.
A
You'Re about five years away from that being hairs to hamburger meat back there hanging out the side of your jersey. Yeah. Just.
B
It's a lot of, like, weird long black. And I'm like, I don't think I like this, but I'm.
C
It's like they show up fully grown.
A
Yeah.
C
Like you yesterday, you had no hair. Today it's two inches long. Yeah.
B
It's weird. There's like a dozen of them.
A
Yeah. You're one step away from adding a gold chain to your repertoire.
B
That's right.
A
Gold chain and back hamburger meat. Tale as old as time.
B
36 is weird. Everything was just getting more expensive by the year.
A
Oh, ain't no doubt about one knows.
D
What I'm talking about.
A
Yeah. And especially for duck hunting.
B
Is it in duck hunting, too?
A
Oh, shells going up, decoys going up, waders. I mean, the only thing, you name.
D
It, it's going up.
A
But you know what's not more expensive and it's arguably easier to find? That's the duck stamp. Because you can head to duck stamp.com and get the all new digital duck stamp.
B
I knew the answer, and you didn't let me answer.
A
Well, it's because it was a rhetorical question.
B
And we can't wait to tell you where to get your duck stamp.
A
Yes, that's duck stamp.com/duck. You'll get it. It's the best $25 you can spend. You'll spend more than that on just a tank of gas getting to the duck call duck hole. And look, you're going to spend more than that in snacks, too. So don't let the one technicality keep you from going duck hunting. Come up. Open the morning. Look, think of it this way. One stamp protects the land, the ducks, and your whole season. Not a bad trade for the price of a box of shells. And we want all this land to be here for our youth. So that's all 98% of the money from the duck stamp goes straight back into conservation. We fund our own sport, which is really cool and you know, I want my kids to be able to enjoy it. You know the drill. Duck stamp.com duck. It only takes two min minutes, so let's get it done. That's ducksnap.com.
B
I just started back at the barber and then I invited sigh with me and I get s. Me and sire go and get a haircut on Wednesday and I have to, you know, text the walk of shame like, hey, Sai can't make it on Wednesday because he's in a different state. And I didn't know it and I thought they were going to like charge.
A
Me as I didn't know, but they didn't.
B
I was early enough 24 hours.
A
So no cancellation?
B
No cancel. Which I get like they were booked up because of psy. But if you need a haircut, go see Zoe. She's open on Wednesday morning. She just got. No, I'm going to get my haircut.
A
Are you still going?
B
Okay, my thing now, I go to barbers. It's weird, but I do it.
D
I've done that all my life. Have you had to do you still curly hair?
A
Oh, yeah, yeah. Look at them curls, man.
D
I've gone to the same guy. I'm old now. I've gone to the same guy for 20 years.
B
You because your hair.
D
His name's David, by the way.
B
Your hair is through your shoulders.
D
All right.
B
How often do you like once a year?
D
Great question.
A
How often?
B
I don't understand barbers.
A
No, man. See them highlights? Yeah, you gotta.
D
Oh, I don't have any.
B
Are you coloring your hair?
C
I was wondering. Martin, I'm glad you said something because I didn't want to be the one to ask, but they look great.
A
Yeah.
B
Two 50 year olds, y' all are both got a little gray in the temples.
A
He's keeping them covered. He's calling frosted too.
D
No, I don't.
A
His hair is a direct reflection of how much time he spends in the sunlight. It's crazy.
C
Oh yeah.
A
Like if it like during the. By the end of duck season is dark really is this cloudy, rainy, just not out there much. Summer, summertime, summertime, it turns a wonderful shade of gold like you see here.
D
And it's getting more gray now too, though. I mean, I'll be honest, I'm with you.
B
You're almost 51. That's halfway to 100. Anyway. How often do you go to the barber? I once every three months where I can learn a lot Once every three months.
C
Okay.
D
Because I like when the sides get really long and you can't see the top of your ears.
A
You got to remember something, too. You got a 40 year old wife. So he got to stay. He got it up now.
C
Oh, yeah.
A
The hair, the look. Sorry, I didn't mean that in another way.
C
We don't.
A
We're not sponsored by him.
D
That's a different doctor.
B
But if you're listening, call Hunter. Make it happen. We will make a great commercial for that. That will be the easiest one ever.
A
I'd love to see Cy do that. That'd be fun.
B
No, no, never mind. Don't call right or fast.
C
Just do the commercial and just put it out there.
A
Yeah. Just say, hey, we're gonna give you this one for free. Yeah.
B
See if they pay. I'm uncomfortable. Well, size wife's way older than him. Did you watch the episode?
A
No.
B
Where side and Christine were on? How old is she?
D
Never ask a woman that question. How much older than size?
A
She.
B
Let me tell you. Well, we were sitting here and sigh. I can't wait to be of this age where I could do something like this on camera. He says, yeah, well, that's because you're a cougar.
A
Okay.
B
He called his wife a cougar for. I don't know how many people listen to this, but it's more than a couple. And then just started dying laughing. And you know, Ms. Christine's like, I'm only 18 months older than you.
A
Oh, you said you started with 18. I was like, ain't no way. Ain't no way. She's 96. Yeah. She's not that much.
B
Ain't no way but size into older women. Just in case anybody's wondering.
A
18 months old. Older. Yeah.
D
And I love whenever that show came out, Duck Dynasty. Right?
B
That show.
D
That show.
A
That duck.
C
You guys heard of it?
D
I'm telling you, no one realized I was married. Oh, yeah.
A
Oh, no. He was the world's most eligible bachelor that had been married for 50 years you've ever seen.
D
So like that to. I remember that stage and that was so much fun.
B
It was weird.
D
It was hilarious.
B
Almost weird as the broken decoy that's been sitting on the desk for all this time.
C
Is that here every week?
B
No.
A
No. Okay.
B
Yeah. Welcome. He. Anytime you're in here with Clay, he brings a sack full of goodies and then has like a metaphor with them.
D
Oh, this is. This is all not my doing.
A
So you're a heath. You're a. You're a comedian. Yes. Trade.
C
Okay.
A
I guess Clay's world would be. He's a prop comic.
C
A prop comedy?
A
Yeah.
C
Because I didn't bring anything, so I'm, you know, I'm excited.
A
Are you a prop comic?
C
I'm not a comic, so I've always wanted to work with one, though.
A
Are there different levels and comedians, like, there's certain comedians look down on prop comics or prop comics, like, probably. Or is there like.
B
No, they're not.
C
No, they're definitely not the top. Yeah, yeah, yeah, There's.
A
I didn't know.
C
Yeah.
A
Hey, that's a wild underbelly I haven't gotten into. We'll have to ask Mr. Chris next time he's on, too.
B
He used to open for Chris.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
He said he's super serious back then, too.
A
Really?
C
Oh, yeah, He's a serious guy. A comedy. Serious business. You got jokes and everything. You got to make sure they're working.
B
That's my favorite when somebody's like, I'm a comedian, I'm like, make me laugh.
C
Yeah.
B
And then they're like, let me tell you about. And then they get real deep all of a sudden.
A
Yeah, yeah.
C
Personal pain.
B
Yeah. So, Heath, you were adopted. I really was. But that's. We're not doing that.
C
That's a different story.
B
You were a different one.
A
Yeah, that's a whole episode. Yeah, that's a. That's a whole Come together. So.
C
Okay, so tell me about this broken duck.
A
Look at that word he used, duck. Broken.
D
Broken.
A
Oh, it is broke. It is. That's 100 broke.
C
Yeah.
A
I think we were walking through the woods this weekend, me and the boys, and we were just looking. Can you move it more in front of the camera?
B
Oh, gosh.
D
The camera is.
A
Thank you. Dead center will be fine. We were walking through the woods this weekend, and I always call it treasure hunting. Really? We're really picking up, like, just picking up trash because, like, to a three year old, you know, a rotten can as treasure because it's shiny, like. Yeah, you can. But when Waylon saw this, you would have thought that he found, I don't know what, like the Declaration of Independence. If he was Nicholas Cage, you know, like, I mean, it was the.
D
Or if he was your son.
A
The Forbidden City. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
B
I mean, Carter once tried to sell the shower knob off the bathtub.
A
So the President's Book of Secrets or whatever, you would have thought that this was that. And then, so with that, Jackson got so excited that Jackson took it from him. And that was the picture that I posted. And But I just got to thinking about it. Like, you know, we look at this and we see trash, right? Like, I mean, he's trash. He won't hold water. He's been shot in the head. He's doesn't have a weight. There's nothing. He's got no paint.
B
Like, he's not even a specific duck at this point.
A
No. He's just a body of a duck. And that's what, that's what I posted on my Instagram was like, it's kind of the same thing that happens whenever we come to Christ, right? Like, I mean, we are this every man. We are this. Until we invite Christ in our life. We are this broken thing that won't hold water. That to most is useless. Right? Like, I mean, we're just. We're a terrible form of what a human should be. And then you have Christ come together and I guess I should have brought a whole decoy. There's a whole one right there. But. And then you're just made new. So I thought it was a cool perspective that I Learned from my 3 year olds on something that I thought was a piece of plastic and we were doing good trash pickup and finding treasures.
B
Now you're going to own that decoy forever. Or at least the next six months.
A
It's probably going to live at the camp.
D
It will live at the camp.
A
You know. And I think. I think that I thought about fixing it too. I saved it. I picked it up and threw it in the back of the. The deal. So that. Because I was like, you know, that actually be kind of cool to show the whole transformation process. Maybe even repaint it. But then I think it's probably a little more powerful just leaving broken. Really if. You know, because it gives you a way in if somebody comes to the camp that may or may not know.
D
Jesus.
A
You know, it gives you an easy.
B
Why y' all keep that broken decoy around?
A
The same reason you're here, buddy. Yeah.
B
That's a Phil Robertson set up from way back.
A
So. Yeah. And it. But it's a cool piece of Americana too. Because I don't know when this old Flambeau Magnum Mallard was made, but there's a really strong chance. Say that on there.
B
Or do you just.
A
It says Flambeau. I know that it's a Magnum Mallard and I know that it's a Mallard Drake because it's got the curl on it. But Carl. But I mean, there's a chance that this thing's older than I am.
B
Really?
A
Yeah.
D
That's an old.
A
Yeah, absolutely. No, it's. It's. Here's how old it is. You know what it says on this side? And there's a bug coming out of it.
D
I was wondering where those ants were coming.
A
Yeah. You know this side. This will tell you how old this is. This side over here says Made in the usa. I couldn't tell you the last time a blown piece of plastic was made in the usa. Like this.
B
A decoy. Made in the usa.
A
Yeah, man. It's a really cool. I don't know, it's just a. It's a cool conversation piece that I thought, again, we were out there picking up trash because that's one thing that they can do. I found so far, they don't like cutting brush. Not into that. Not. But they're in.
B
Me neither.
A
They're into just taking a walk and.
D
Or a ride they love.
A
They like to ride, and then they eventually want to get out and walk. So, like, we will just get out and take off walking through a stretch. So as far as trash goes, it's as clean as it's ever been out there. Yeah. Because we're staying busy, so. Finding treasures.
D
So yesterday, they're there and the boys are there, and. And I know that I'm coming, so I've got to get my props together. And so I'm working on getting the decoy and put it in from. From the mule into the. Or whatever that is.
A
Ridge. Yeah.
D
Into the truck. And Martin goes.
A
I don't let. Better be careful.
D
Don't let the boys see you taking their treasure. Because, I mean, they get offended if you start removing their traffic.
A
If you go look in the back of the rig right now, it is broken. Decoys. May Pops. They love May Pops.
D
Little watermelons.
A
Little baby watermelons. I mean, they're not really watermelons, but they're. I don't even know if they're technically called May Pops, but that's what we've always called them.
B
I just don't know what a May Pop is.
A
Well, you step on it, it may pop. It may not. That's what I was. Hey, hey. There you go.
C
Comedians.
B
There's show business.
A
Yeah. Hey, that's. That's comedy in the botany world.
C
That's good. No, no. I bet that crushes that. The Buck invention.
A
Yeah.
B
With all the other biology nerds are like, oh, man, this guy again.
A
I don't know if they're really called May Pops or not, but that's what we always called them growing up.
D
We sometimes Called them dinosaur eggs.
B
Martin, I passed the test.
A
What test?
B
The Helix sleep test.
A
What you make. Oh, yeah. You can only fail it if you're not honest. What grade did you get?
B
A Moonlight Lux. And let me tell you, I took that test five years ago, and I'm still getting the best sleep of my life.
A
You're still getting an A on it.
B
Every time I lay in bed, I'm like, yep, I like this.
A
Yeah, you like a super soft cloud. You like to sleep on your back. There you go.
B
And I'm a heavyset individual. It's the perfect mattress for me. Not everybody else.
A
Aren't we all? Well, not only you, but we've all had our Helix mattresses for three years now, and it's legit been the best sleep that we have ever had. Look, the unashamed guys have got them. I mean, they're. They're not more joyful, but that doesn't matter.
B
They look better.
A
But they look better. Yeah, they don't have bags under their eyes anymore. Don't take our word for it. Helix is the most awarded mattress brand look, reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired. And if you wear one of those fancy sleep trackers at night, you can keep up with your own score. I don't. He does.
B
They got great sleep scores. I'm turning into a young uncle side.
A
But I will say this like the one thing. We travel a lot, we speak all over the world, country, world, everywhere. We're going a lot. And every. It doesn't matter when I spend the night in a hotel or somewhere that's not my mattress. I wake up, I'm stiff. It takes me an extra 20 minutes just to get going in the mornings because I'm trying to pop everything and get everything back where it should be. Because if, you know you can't travel with your mattress, it would be nice if you.
B
So cool.
A
Look, go to helixleep.com for 27% off site wide. Exclusive for listeners of the duck call room. That's helix sleep.com duck for 27% off site wide. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so that they know we sent you helix sleep.com/duck. Well, I'm trying to teach them about nature. We did a good crash course on Johnson Grass the other day. And like, on what you teach about, what you know about. Right? So, like, this is. This is all my formal training. So, like, I'm just. I'm going to the place where I'm the expert. I'm not trying to be anything. I'M not. Even though I did find that big dummy caterpillar that I had no idea what that thing was. But our friend that sent us the moth thing or whatever from way back when told me what it was. Oh. I found a big caterpillar and I tried to get the boys to pet it. They. So we're not.
B
Martin's in a group on Facebook called Moth and mothing.
A
Yeah.
B
Where they post pictures of moths.
C
Can anybody get into this?
A
Yes. All you got to do is go on Facebook. Click join. You can learn, man.
B
I'm also a member.
D
Okay.
B
I cannot add anything to. I tried my best not to subtract.
A
You Observe.
C
Okay.
D
Became a member.
B
I hit join. Just. I didn't believe Martin.
A
Okay, well. That there was moth and moth.
B
That there were just people out there sending each other pictures of moths trying to figure out what kind of moth it was.
A
Why not, man? The. The natural world is incredible. Okay. My way.
B
Till you hear about places station.
C
My wife has been on one of those. But it's snakes. Like, what is this snake?
A
Oh, I love those because I like to go answer them. But most time they get answered for it.
C
Oh, you. You're the answer.
A
Okay.
C
Yeah, we're the. But see, snakes. It makes sense because they'll kill you. But moths. Are we worried about them in any way?
A
They're pollinators. So, like the food supply in some shape for. Look at that big dummy thing.
B
Hey.
A
I mean, that's my arm.
B
As. As a. As a guy who likes to show stuff on a screen, maybe not have the backdrop of a caterpillar as camouflage.
A
Yeah, I know.
C
Hard to see, right?
B
Little.
A
Yeah, I'm aware.
D
But don't forget, he's six foot four.
A
Okay.
D
So that means. But it's all I have a small.
B
What kind of caterpillar is that?
A
It's some kind of sphinx moth.
B
Well, it's a moth.
A
Yeah. That is a moth. What's a catapult worm turn into a catfish.
B
Thank you.
A
That's where the video ends because we had a little correction. Yep. That was a nice one.
B
Okay.
A
That's a nice little coachable moment.
B
Okay, we got to have a serious talk. Nicely coachable moment for the listeners. Martin just showed me a picture of a moth on his arm or caterpillar. It was neat.
A
Yeah.
B
But I was about. I was like, okay, time to move on. What we didn't know is there's a kid hit another kid with a rock and then look up with the biggest smile on his face.
D
He looks just like Martin.
A
Yeah. We had. We had a real teacher was the video. We had a real teachable moment right there after that.
B
Bubble wrap. Get involved.
A
No. So, no, just straight hand.
D
So as a person who's raised for both of them.
A
Because you saw what happened at the beginning of that video. If you go back to the beginning, you see Waylon, he throws a rock. I've told him so many times. I said, uncle Clay paid a lot of money for them rocks and he's just throwing them in the water. And then pow and bop right on top of the back.
B
Look at that smile.
A
I mean, set up. Yeah. Whole Cain and Abel moment right there.
D
And if you have heard him tell these boys not to throw rocks, he doesn't do it once a day. It's probably 15 or 20 times.
A
We don't throw rocks.
D
Don't throw rocks at the truck. Don't throw rocks at the. The side by side. Don't throw rocks at each other. And he has yet to get the.
B
Boys a good lesson in life. But.
A
Well, they got there. They got a little goblin in them.
B
You ever thrown a rock?
A
I don't want. God 1 goblins. That's funny than funner. And chucking rocks at a sign.
B
It's a great time. There's something immensely satisfying about taking a rock and hitting anything with it.
C
Oh, yeah, but.
A
And that's fine on free. Free range rocks, but these rocks cost a lot of money.
D
As the guy who's paying for the rocks.
A
Yeah.
D
Let me tell you, I am not worried about how many rocks your boys throw.
A
I understand. But I am. I'm that.
D
That's why I'm sitting.
B
If I get invited this year, I'm gonna throw so many rocks.
A
I am that tight. And that's between you and him.
D
And if you're three, I'm good with that.
A
Yeah. Yeah. You probably play on a little bit different rules than he does. Again, free range rocks. Pick one up and chunk it. I don't care.
C
But that's fun.
B
When I can rock.
A
When I've been responsible for part of the spreading of said rocks and watching all that stuff. No, man, I'm out. Like. No, you leave that rock right there. That's where he.
D
I do need to get a sign, though.
A
But they do pick up.
D
It just says sign.
A
Yeah, just sign.
D
That way you can throw rocks.
A
Yeah. Funner than chunking rocks at a sign.
B
You do that, I'm sure.
A
Yeah. I mean, goblin going to live. There is going to be. I ain't never seen Godwin throw a rock. Now, to think about it. That's fun, huh? Interesting. I never seen Godwin did much. Real athletic.
D
I have a picture of God and Godwin wearing a. A black mink.
A
Oh, there's another critter.
D
He looked like he's in the Russian mob.
C
A mink coat.
D
Yes.
A
Okay. We brought in.
D
We were at a fundraiser and he was just. I don't know why.
A
There you go.
B
We got totally sidetracked there. Martin saw a bug and was about to ask his Facebook nerd friends to identify.
A
No, I pretty much am a kill on. See, you're not supposed to be in here.
D
These little black ants, I'm telling you, they're coming out.
A
You think that's where they're coming from?
D
Well, no, I didn't think that until you said it.
A
Oh, God. When he was driving. I talked to him earlier. He was driving Johanna to a doctor's appointment, so. Checking on the twins, man. Checking on the twins being a chauffeur, living a retired life.
B
He's a chauffeur now.
C
What?
B
You drove your mom all the way here?
C
Oh, that's true. Yeah. Road trip with my mom brought her back here, man. It was something.
A
It was. It was.
D
So how many hours was that?
C
It was about eight hours. Yeah, about eight hours. I thought we were going to stop at Buc EE's, but I didn't think we could handle it, you know, like, it was going to be too much of an experience for us, you know? But she did pretty good. She's 79 and, you know, as soon as we left the house, she wanted to go to McDonald's. Like, that's my mom and I had role reversed. Every time we leave the house, she's like, can we go to McDonald's? And I'm gonna tell y' all right now. There's nothing that brings me more joy than to look at her and say, we've got food at home. It does my heart good.
B
He's just. Cynthia's just getting all the things she said to him.
C
That was a callback 40 years in the making.
A
Here they come. Yep, here they come.
B
Take me to McDonald's. We've got food at home.
A
We've. We've got.
D
Put on an eight hour road trip.
B
Yeah.
C
Now we stopped. We stopped a couple times, but look, it's been great. As soon as we got here.
B
You can hold it. He didn't say no.
C
We stopped as soon as I make it. As soon as we got here, I dropped her off with her friends and I was like, you know, y' all don't get in any trouble. I'll see you when we leave on Tuesday. So she's been cutting up as far as I'm concerned.
A
Off at a location or. Yeah.
B
Drop at a friend's house.
C
At a friend's house.
B
He's staying with me. His mom's over at a friend's house.
A
I didn't know if we just pulled up in Ridgecrest and, like, hey, that's it. Oh, now go find some friends. Make some friends.
C
That's it. Don't come in till dark.
A
I hear Monday's bingo night. Like, you know. Oh.
B
Oh, no. That's fun.
A
Eth. Where's home now?
C
Atlanta, Georgia.
A
Atlanta? Yep.
C
I live north of Atlanta. We were in Colorado for 12 years.
A
Yeah.
C
And moved over to Atlanta. Love it out there, man.
A
Do you? Yeah, it's good stuff.
C
I'm north of Atlanta, so I'm kind of in the mountains.
A
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
C
You guys. You ever get over there?
A
Not around Atlanta proper. I generally stay south of Atlanta. Okay. Columbus, Georgia area. Yeah. Down that way.
C
So we're not far from Tennessee.
A
Okay.
C
So I'm kind of in a Blue Ridge Mountain kind of situation.
A
You're in between Chattanooga and Atlanta then, and that.
C
Exactly. And that's about an hour from my house.
A
Okay. Yeah, I got you now. Spend a lot of time there.
C
Okay.
B
Heath was waiting at the Airbnb when me and my other friends accidentally showed up at the Little Debbie park.
A
Oh.
B
Which was one of the greatest surprises of my whole life.
A
Yes. There you go.
C
Oh, yeah. I. I was jealous. I missed out on.
B
Have you never been to the Little Debbie park in Chattanooga?
A
It's an oodawa, technically north of Chattanooga, but here we go. It's fun.
B
How do we do it?
A
No, I just like saying Udawa.
C
How did you know where Udawa was?
A
Us. Because I got a buddy that lives on the lake right there. That's fair. Yeah. You take the Udawa exit to get to his house, but he lives up in Birchwood.
C
Did you know about the Little Debbie?
A
No. I had. No. I knew it existed.
B
We've had many people email in and say, y' all gotta see this. There's like, life sized Little Debbie. No. I guess. I guess they're giant because they're the size of you.
A
Yeah.
B
Life size would be normal.
D
Big Deborahs.
B
Yeah, they're big Deborahs.
A
Yeah.
B
And so when we pulled up, I said that my. The guy that was driving was like, does that say Little Debbie Parkway? I said, stop the car right now, and I will tell you where to turn next.
A
Did y' all know how. What'd y' all stop there for? Just have the Chick Fil A or something? Because that's where.
B
No, we turned the wrong. It was a wrong.
A
Oh, it was just wrong all around.
B
We messed up. He missed the exit. And then it was like, take this one. We're going the wrong way. And then he's like. He goes, huh? It says Little Debbie Parkway. I said, shut up. Stop. Let me get Google Maps out. Because we're close to something that we got to see.
A
Yeah.
B
To believe.
A
That's because of this podcast. I come to find out. I had no idea prior to that, that Little Debbie's based out of Chattanooga.
B
So their bakery was closed already for the day. Otherwise, your 50th birthday party was going to be a real hoot.
A
We were going to have a fresh bake. Never wrap honey buns.
D
Well, I can tell you what we're going to do for hunting camp this season. I have a new dessert.
A
A new dessert?
D
A new dessert?
B
That's not new. There's nothing new under the sun. You're right.
D
It's not new, but it. Watch this man's face whenever I say this. We're gonna take a. The Christmas tree.
A
Okay.
C
The Little Debbie.
D
Debbie Christmas.
A
Yeah, I already got some.
D
Freeze it.
A
They come out earlier and earlier every year.
D
I know, right?
A
Yeah.
D
Freezing.
B
Start handing them out.
D
Halloween pancake batter. A little thick.
B
What?
A
No, we're not frying.
D
Oh, yes, we do. 100%. That is what I'm doing this year for season guaranteed.
A
We want to take our money to the moon, and rocket money can help us get there, man.
B
You want to know how they take your money to the moon? By helping you save just a little bit every month, and then, boom, you look up and you're sitting there next to Neil Armstrong's footprints.
A
That's what I'm talking about. They don't necessarily help you take it to the moon. They just keep you from giving it to other people.
B
That way, you can get to the moon.
A
Rocket Money is the personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscription, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can help grow your savings. Holidays are here. You're going to want to watch that one movie, right? Like, maybe Christmas vacation's on, but you got to sign up for a free trial.
B
Yep.
A
Guess what happens January 1st. It ain't free no more. That's where rocket Money can come in. They help you. You can do it all in one place. Do it right there. On the dashboard, everything is easy.
B
It is a great app. Some apps are confusing. Rocket Money does it all for you. It's right there.
A
The D dashboard does give you a clear view of your expenses across all of your accounts. You can create personalized budgets to help keep your spending on track. You can get alerts if your bills increase in price or if there's unusual spending activity. Plus, the goals feature can help you determine the best time each month to put extra money aside. Rocket Money will do all the negotiating for you. You don't have to do it. You just say, negotiate for me. Cancel this. They do all the work so that you don't have to. Time is money and they know it. Rocket Money has saved users over $2.5 billion, including over 880 million in canceled subscriptions alone. Their 10 million members save up to $740 a year when they use all the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com today. That's RocketMoney.com one more time. RocketMoney.com.
B
You can deep fry pizza, though. Ever done that?
A
No.
B
Why not?
D
Because I haven't thought of it.
B
You should try it.
A
Deep fried pizza.
C
What do you deep fry?
D
Do you batter it?
A
Yeah, whatever. Isn't that what a pizza roll is?
B
Those are better deep fried than they are anything.
A
Yeah, absolutely.
D
Do you batter the pizza roll?
B
No, no, you batter a whole. Johnny's works best because the one thing we got going on in this town is Johnny's different shaped pizza.
D
Oh, by the way, don't ever try to teach your wife to snow ski and say, do the pizza whenever she's from West Monroe.
A
Oh.
B
Oh, that makes sense. Just keep going fast.
D
Killed me.
C
Yep, that's good.
D
Killed me.
B
Martin's never snow skied. Not only did it once.
A
I'm trying to figure to slow down.
B
You want to make.
C
Make a pizza wedge?
B
Yeah. You're from Colorado.
C
Pizza wedge.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
C
But if you say make a pizza and it's Johnny's pizza, you're gone. You're racing to the bottom.
A
Yeah.
B
Jeremy Bloom style.
C
I would have set a record.
A
Yeah. Yeah. I had no idea. I was like, I don't even know what.
B
Pizza's rectangle is small and thin.
A
That's why I teach my kids about plants and not skiing.
D
We made it 200 yards down the mountain, and after 200 yards, I looked at her and said, let's go get lessons. Can't do this.
B
Oh, man.
D
So Anyway, back to the fried pizza I got here.
A
Yeah.
B
You just take whatever batter you may.
D
Like, like 325 degrees.
A
So.
B
Pancake batter.
A
No, 375. You don't. At 320. Yeah.
C
Pancake batter on a Johnny's.
B
No, no, no. Pancake batter is more like your Oreos, your Christmas tree cakes.
C
That's your sweet frying stuff.
B
Yeah, you just. Whatever you gonna deep fry fried chicken in. You put little eggs around a piece of pizza, you gotta let it get cold.
D
So you egg wash?
B
Yeah.
A
You.
B
You cook egg wash. Take a leftover piece of Johnny's pizza, cold.
A
I've never seen it.
D
I've got some in the fridge right now.
B
I've heard of it.
C
Not experienced.
A
I've heard it existed, but I've never seen it. I've never personally seen it.
B
Pizza, it's that rectangle. Dip it in some eggs, dip it in your fried chicken season and just drop that joker in till it's all crispy.
D
Okay. Done.
A
Yeah.
B
I mean, I'm probably already halfway out.
A
Yeah, that's fine.
B
But because of things I tried in my life, I'm already halfway. Yeah.
A
Can I. Can I ask a question? Yeah, we'd love to, Hunter.
B
Why Hunter? Some people ask why. I'm a man who asks why not.
A
What. What. What do you. What's the benefit of this? Like what? What's different?
C
Happiness.
A
Yeah, some. Do you like living on or.
B
Have you seen the spirit?
A
Have you seen Jurassic Park? Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you just do it because you can't. That's right.
C
You don't have to like this.
B
It tastes better. Although the whole point of Jurassic park is that you shouldn't do that.
A
Yeah, but I'm just saying they do.
B
Like, first off, let me make something clear. It doesn't taste better, but I did get to eat it. Hunter, what I have is a lifetime of training my gut to be able to take these things on.
A
Yeah.
B
I did not live a lifestyle that was, quote, unquote, healthy or productive for quite some time.
D
So what did this doctor tell you?
B
Hey, bro, you need to lose 30 pounds.
D
What was your cholesterol?
B
I don't know. I don't.
A
We didn't get into small stuff.
B
Hold on. I was only 30.
A
Yeah.
D
I was 26 years old. I went to the doctor, said, look, something's not right.
B
Is this when they reverse your vasectomy?
D
No, that was later. That was much older then.
A
We know too much about everybody. Wow. This is where you get. This is where.
D
This is why I have a five year Old.
A
Okay.
C
You had a. Did you get it reversed on purpose?
A
Yeah. Yeah.
C
Oh, okay. Okay.
A
Yeah. He wanted.
B
You can't reverse that on accident.
C
I mean, that's. That's a great point.
A
He flew to Arizona.
D
Dad's again.
C
Well, I was just trying to figure out why you would reverse it.
B
So you want to get yours reversed?
A
No, I'm good.
C
No, no. Getting mine done was.
D
Was horrid.
B
No, no, no.
C
He had to stop mid.
A
Mid.
C
Because I felt it like. Yeah. We started and he said, I'm gonna clamp on here. And I said, let's.
A
Whoa. Let's pause.
B
Can I tell you what a good friend Heath is? That's the first time I've heard the story.
A
He didn't. He didn't give you that one leading up to yours.
B
If that was me that happened to right before you got. I'd have been like. I would have told you to scare you.
A
Yeah.
B
You never told me that.
C
I held on to it, man.
A
Yeah.
B
I appreciate it.
D
There's some things we don't talk about.
B
The best weekend of my life. Ice cream tv. Little War Zone.
A
Hold on.
B
What was worse, forwards or backwards?
D
They were both.
A
Always backwards.
D
They were both horrible.
B
Have you gone back backwards?
D
No.
B
Or back forwards? No.
D
So you're undone. Oh, it's. No. Snip, snap, snip.
A
Yeah.
B
So you're just wide open right now.
A
Yeah.
C
You're having a knife like this.
A
Yeah.
D
There could be another kid coming because I'm not stopping.
A
Oh, wow.
B
Could you imagine having another one right now?
C
He.
A
No, no, no.
D
We.
C
We had a. We had a scare about four. Not. Not a scare. I love my wife. We've been married for a long time.
B
Yeah.
A
That wasn't just an issue.
C
I wasn't terrified to have a child at 46.
B
What?
C
We thought. We thought you're just.
B
I'm learning so much about my best friend on this podcast.
A
There's something about these lights and microphones. Really good truth.
B
Four years ago.
A
Yeah.
B
You'd had a kid younger than men that have been hilarious.
C
That would have been wild.
A
It's not that funny. No. As a guy who's got two younger than you.
B
Martin's terrified of a third. We're gonna get them there, though. I got a doctor in Arizona. I got this friend. He can hook you up. Yeah. Actually hook you up because it's unhooked. Hook you back up.
A
No, no, no. I'm not saying it won't happen. It just ain't gonna happen via that. Right.
D
You do another one. I'll do another one if they.
A
No. What kind of deal is that?
B
No.
A
Well, this isn't cocaine.
B
I dare you like cocaine where you went.
A
Well, I mean, I'm not.
B
Me and Heath were like, I'll run a mile if you run a mile. Y' all are over there like. Like cocaine and a kid, man. Who's in? I am if you are.
A
I got stuck on the snow skiing, you know, like. Yeah, you do one. I do it.
B
No, Yalls relationship's different than ours. We're just out there jogging.
A
Yeah.
B
Y' all like, you want to get a reversal together.
D
No, I've already had it.
B
I'm just saying you just want somebody else to do you want to have another kid?
A
Yeah. He wants to get back at all those times I told him he was having the world's dumbest surgery.
D
And it was. And it is like.
A
But his kids. Gray Hawkins is great, man. And I love hog Daddy's. Hog Daddy's fantastic.
D
I told him the other day, he said, I want another little brother, a little sister. And I said, you do?
B
He goes, yeah.
D
I said, okay. That means mama won't be able to be with you at this. And mama won't do this anymore. Mama don't want to do this anymore. And he looked at his mother and he said, mama, you do that to me.
A
Now, Hulk Daddy does have Rhonda's full attention, man. Yeah. So, yeah, that'd be a struggle for mama.
D
You do that now.
B
They just end up like my middle child. Just sister pushing him out of the way all the time, and it's what happens.
D
How did y' all become best friends?
B
Well, we're double first cousins.
C
Double first cousins.
D
Okay. That's. Are you all from Arkansas?
B
No, we're from Westman.
A
Right.
C
From Louisiana.
B
Well, you're from.
A
Where are you from?
C
South Louisiana. He's from north Louisiana.
B
That's a real long episode, though.
D
That is.
C
Yeah. We can't get off into that, but.
A
Some of it gets its own podcast.
C
It could be.
B
Yeah. It very well could be.
A
Yeah.
C
It's at least a two parter, but.
B
Yeah.
D
I have cousins that I'm not great friends with now.
C
We are so. Our bro.
A
Our.
C
Our parents are brothers and sisters. Our dads.
B
You gotta. You gotta. You gotta say it better, man. You can't say it like it. Our parents are all brothers and sisters.
C
It's weird. We're all related. Two brothers married two sisters.
B
Get closer to them.
A
Yeah.
C
Two brothers married two sisters.
A
There you go.
C
Is what ended up happening.
B
The older ones had him the younger ones had me.
C
That's it.
A
There you go.
D
So the two brothers, you know his father. David.
A
David and Mac. Mac.
D
Your daddy is Matt.
C
Correct.
D
Oh, we could have gone to so many different places.
C
Yeah, yeah.
A
But.
C
But when I was talking about my.
B
Mom earlier in Vermont to see Santa Claus.
A
That's right.
B
Yeah. But his mom that he brought with him, that's my.
C
Because I was adopted. So that's my other mom.
A
Or my mom is. Oh, Jim was a whole two parter.
B
So when I was like six, this 18 year old kid showed up and was like, hey, I'm your cousin. And I was like, you look stupid. And he was like, y. But Deion Sanders is really cool. And I was like, oh, man, this is the coolest guy I've ever met in my life.
C
Yep, best friends starting right there.
B
18 and 5.
A
Yeah.
C
So I guess I've been immature for a long time. Makes sense.
A
And here we are now looking back on it. It's like. Yeah. Oh, man. Well, I guess we.
B
I guess we wrap this up.
A
Oh, yeah, we've been. We've been a hot mess.
B
Good luck, hunter. Do not store up yourselves treasures on earth where moths and vermin destroy and where thieves break in and steal. Matthew 6:19. I say that verse because me and Martin are obviously very good friends and y' all have heard a lot about our friendship. But what we like more than that is our friendships that you might not know He, Clay and others.
A
Yeah.
B
Store up yourself. Friendship and community.
A
Is moth in there?
B
Yeah, moth.
A
Oh, wow.
B
Moth and mothing.
A
Yeah. See, I thought that was just a subtle jab at me of your own. Your own translation. Okay.
B
No, no, that is. That worked, Niv.
C
Sir.
A
There you go.
D
You can go back to your moth and community.
A
See that?
B
See what I just did there? Full episode.
A
There you go. Look at there. All right, we'll see y' all next time in the duck call room. We're out.
Release Date: November 6, 2025
Hosts: Justin Martin, John-David Owen, John Godwin, Jay Stone, Phillip McMillan, Jacob Mayo
Special Guests: Clay, Heath
Absent: Si Robertson (deer hunting in Texas)
This episode dives deeply into the chaos and comedy of parenting young boys, the eccentricities of the Duck Commander crew, and the joys (and pitfalls) of building lasting male friendships. With Si away, Justin Martin leads the conversation, reflecting on life as a father wrestling with the energy of his sons, the dilemmas of hunting, and the humor woven into everyday mishaps. Throughout, the group pokes fun at each other, reminisces about past adventures, swaps stories about Duck Dynasty fame, and explores the oddities of growing older and family dynamics.
“They were going quack. So I was like, no, you blow the duck call.” – Justin, [03:18]
“We were playing worship music going down the trick or treating. So... we were out there sharing the love of Jesus while we were...” – Justin, [04:04]
"When did you become a part time model?" – Justin, [06:07]
“There’s this thing in old men where they cannot let you win. Can't do it.” – Justin, [10:18]
Stories of pest infestations:
“Now you can't kill him...I can't just...I couldn't do it. Not with them naming the be. I couldn't do it. He's killing. I could not do it.” – Justin, [17:56]
The infamous beaver ‘Crunchy’:
“Phil would have taken the opportunity to shoot said beaver and then... talk to a 3 year old about here. This is where little beavers go...” – Justin, [18:05]
The metaphor of the broken duck decoy:
“We are this broken thing that won't hold water...We’re a terrible form of what a human should be. And then you have Christ come together...you're just made new.” – Justin, [31:34]
Collecting “treasure”:
Tech upgrades for hunters:
“It’s the best $25 you can spend. You'll spend more than that on just a tank of gas getting to the duck call duck hole.” – Justin, [24:31]
Reflections on rising hunting costs and “the good old days”:
Barbershop loyalty and hair maintenance:
“I have these weird new hairs on my shoulders...Now I’m looking down, I'm like...it's a lot of, like, weird long black. And I'm like, I don't think I like this.” – Justin, [23:18]
Comedy, Prop Comics, and Standup:
“Two brothers married two sisters...older ones had him, the younger ones had me.” – Clay, [56:08]
“We don’t throw rocks...Don’t throw rocks at the truck. Don’t throw rocks at the side by side. Don’t throw rocks at each other. And he has yet to get the...” – John-David, [40:27]
On Parenting and Naming Wildlife:
"Now you can't kill him...I can't just...I couldn't do it. Not with them naming the be[aver]. I couldn't do it."
— Justin, [17:56]
On Trick-or-Treating as Christians:
“We were playing worship music going down the trick or treating. So... we were out there sharing the love of Jesus while we were...”
— Justin, [04:04]
On Friendship and Age Gaps:
“I found that I struggle...I don’t do well with peers...Either much older or much younger. I love kids. Even 4 year old, 3 year olds...But outside of that...the closer we get to being a peer, the more I struggle.”
— Justin, [08:08]
On Hunting Childhood Treasures & Redemption:
“We are this broken thing that won't hold water...just a terrible form of what a human should be. And then...you're just made new.”
— Justin, [31:34]
On Family Dynamics:
"Double first cousins...two brothers married two sisters. The older ones had him, the younger ones had me."
— Clay, [56:08]
If you need a snapshot of Southern rural life, old-fashioned parenting, good-natured ribbing, and faith woven into daily chaos, this episode is a perfect entry point. It’s a blend of practical parenting, hunting camp antics, and the genuine heart that has made the Duck Commander crew beloved beyond their TV fame. The show never gets too serious, yet never quite lets go of its core message: family, fun, and faith matter—especially when you’re ankle-deep in candy wrappers, duck decoys, and rocks.