Dumb Blonde Podcast

Episode: Ask, Tell, Confess: Yelp Reviews About Your EX
Host: Bunnie XO
Release Date: December 5, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode is a hilarious dive into the world of "Yelp reviews" for exes, as members of the Dumb Blonde community submit satirical, biting, and sometimes even kind reviews about their former romantic partners. Bunnie XO and her co-hosts bring their trademark humor and irreverence, exploring uncomfortable truths and laugh-out-loud moments about breakups, passive-aggressiveness, and relationship lessons. The episode blends real talk about healing and boundaries with unfiltered, comedic storytelling.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up After the Holidays

• The hosts reunite after a rare two-week break, swapping stories about relaxing Thanksgivings and no-longer-hosted family holidays.
• Bunnie shares how she and her husband enjoyed a low-key, no-stress Thanksgiving, marking a new family tradition (05:08).

"It was the first year in a decade that we have not hosted a Thanksgiving. And I gotta say, we loved it." – Bunnie (05:09)

2. Lifestyle Changes & Getting Older

• Bunnie reflects on how life changes with age, joking about how her “party supplies” have evolved from cocaine to bags of electrolytes (07:00).
• The group laughs about how priorities shift in your forties, and how self-care replaces wild nights.
• The importance of magnesium and hydration routines gets a funny spotlight, contrasting the past and present.

"Now I use my pinky nail to put magnesium in my water bottle." – Bunnie (06:41)
"You need electrolytes. So I pulled out a baggie. It looks like an eight ball of cocaine. And she's like, what is our life?" – Bunnie (07:10)

3. Are You Friends with Your Exes?

• The hosts discuss whether they stay in touch with exes, how to maintain civility, and when to cut ties—especially when lines are crossed.
• Bunnie recounts her own experiences, from amicable relationships to drawing hard boundaries when an ex’s behavior became unacceptable (13:07).

"My exes don't hate me. I get along with all of them. Except for one. Yeah, and that's his choice because he's just emotional." – Bunnie (12:18)
"I try to be friends with everybody. My abusive relationship...I've tried so hard to just like, move on from that entire situation and be cordial with him, and he just will not." – Bunnie (13:54)

• The group agrees that it's possible to be cordial without remaining close, and that letting go of resentment is healthier than holding onto anger (14:53).

"Being able to be like, hey, you were a moment in my life. I don't need to hate you...because that shit builds up in your liver." – Bunnie (14:53)

Main Segment: Yelp Reviews About Your Ex (16:17)

The core of the episode features hosts reading and reacting to real (and anonymous) "Yelp reviews" submitted by listeners about their ex-partners.

1. The Overqualified (and Problematic) Ex

Timestamp: 16:22

• Jason reads a review: “If you’re looking for an alcoholic woman beating, church-going man with a huge dick, I recommend you give him a try...Ten and a half inches long and as wide as a Coke can.”
• The hosts erupt with laughter, commenting on the paradox of toxic men often having "beautiful appendages."

"And why is it the most toxic men have the most beautiful appendages?" – Bunnie (16:54)

2. The Passive-Aggressive Ghoster

Timestamp: 17:39

• Bunny reads a review about a man who pouted instead of dealing with conflict, ghosted, and posted cryptic digs online—then, in a twist, suddenly died.

"He ghosted me. Posted cryptic whiny messages, obviously about me...And then he died." – Yelp Review read by Bunny (18:02)
"I can't stand passive aggressiveness. It will piss me off. I'll fight you." – Bunnie (18:20)

• The discussion highlights the importance of direct communication and not airing grievances online.

3. Communicating Feelings & Family Dynamics

• The hosts discuss healthy confrontation and expressing feelings, even if it's through letters—using Bunnie's daughter as an example (20:23).

“Some people can't handle the face to face conversation, but we're going to address it.” – Bunnie (20:59)

• Sharing their own family code words for difficult conversations ("Banana" for Bunnie's family, "Peaches" for Jason's), they underline the value of clear communication (24:52).

4. "Return to Sender" Exes

Timestamp: 26:38

• Olivia reads: "Negative 100 out of 10. He thought he'd try to make a family with me, but when it came to the nitty gritty, he said, 'peace out.' His family is extremely toxic...the man had zero hygiene and smells like twisted tea and dirty balls 24/7."

"If you receive him, please return to sender immediately. Don't even look in the box." – Yelp Review read by Olivia (27:05)

• Sparks a segue into personal hygiene stories, with promises of a future episode dedicated to the subject.

5. The "Bag of Chips" Ex

Timestamp: 27:50

• Jason reads: “Dating him was like opening a fresh bag of potato chips. Looked great on the shelf...but mostly air, very little substance...Would I reorder? Probably not. Would I admit I finished the entire bag anyway? Unfortunately, yes.”

"I can compare that to so many people in my life." – Jason (28:35)
"It's not even romantic. I've had friends like that." – Bunnie (28:45)

• The group analyzes what "air" represents—lack of depth or substance.

6. Lifted Truck & Red Flags

Timestamp: 29:37

• Bunnie reads: “Should have known the moment I saw that lifted truck…and the ‘I swear I don’t have anger issues’ steroid sitting in the cup holder...The higher the truck, the smaller the...this man was practically driving a skyscraper.”

• Laughter at stereotypes, with hosts riffing about "roid rage," anger, and poor follow-through in relationships.

"Between the roid rage, the tiny energy, and the fact that I'm still not convinced he can fully wipe his own ass with those balloon animal arms..." – Yelp Review read by Bunnie (30:36)

7. Snapchat Cheater & Fart Etiquette

Timestamp: 31:43

• Olivia reads: “10 out of 10. Don’t recommend. Loves to talk to multiple women on Snapchat, but says you are the only one...Also farted on me the first hangout.”

"Somebody farts on me the first hangout. I'm leaving." – Bunnie (32:18)

• Hilarious detour into relationships, "fluff" vs. "fart", and the etiquette of bodily functions in long-term relationships.

8. Old People and Bathroom Stories

Timestamps: 37:28–39:22

• The group shares stories about how older generations become less concerned with public etiquette, troughing out their funniest tales of bathroom accidents and why you should take your shoes off after shopping at Walmart.

"By the time you're 75, you earn the right to just shit your pants." – Bunnie (37:29)
"There’s this literal trail of s**t from bathroom to front door." – Jason (39:22)

• More laughter about gross-out moments and the realities of aging.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Letting Go:
  "You were a moment in my life. I don't need to hate you, and I don't need to carry any disdain." – Bunnie (14:53)

• On Toxic Traits:
  "Say what you mean, mean what you say and say how you feel. Because I'm always going to tell you how I feel." – Bunnie (18:46)

• On Flirting and Farting:
  “You're the only other person I've heard call a fart a fluff.” – Bunnie (33:36)

• On Age and Decorum:
  "By the time you're 75, you earn the right to just shit your pants." – Bunnie (37:29)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment / Discussion | |-------------|----------------------------------------------------------| | 05:01–07:43 | Holiday catch-up, life changes, and new routines | | 12:16–15:23 | Friendship or civility with exes | | 16:17–21:03 | First batch of “Yelp Reviews” about exes | | 21:03–24:50 | Healthy communication & family code words | | 26:38–30:37 | More ex reviews: hygiene horror stories & "chips" analogy| | 31:43–34:21 | Social media cheating, fart stories, and couple etiquette| | 37:28–39:22 | Old people, public bathrooms, and why shoes come off |

Tone and Style

• Comedic, irreverent, and unfiltered: The hosts spare no details and encourage laughter at the absurdities of dating and relationships.
• Candid and supportive: While humor abounds, there are strong undercurrents about boundaries, personal growth, and emotional health.
• Conversational and relatable: The stories and submissions feel like a group chat with your funniest—and most brutally honest—friends.

How to Submit Your Own Ex Review

Listeners are encouraged to join the Dumb Blonde Facebook group and submit their stories for possible future episodes (40:54).

Final Thoughts

This episode blends outrageous listener stories with authentic talk about emotional clarity, boundaries, and the messy realities of breakups and moving on. The "Yelp Review" format provides a creative lens to reflect on what we learn (and survive) in love. For fans of comedy and real-life relationship confessions, this installment is as raw as it is cathartic.