Ask, Tell, Confess: Should I Have Jeffree Star's Baby?!

Summary

Dumb Blonde Podcast

Episode: Ask, Tell, Confess: Should I Have Jeffree Star’s Baby?!
Date: July 24, 2026
Host: Bunnie XO
Duration: ~36 minutes

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Episode Overview

This episode of Dumb Blonde, hosted by Bunnie XO and featuring Haley, Memes, Riley, and Brooke, dives into funny, unfiltered, and sometimes raunchy territory with an “ask, tell, confess” style roundtable. The central question: What’s the wildest place you’ve had sex? The group shares their own offbeat stories, reads listeners’ confessions, and calls up friends—including special guest appearances by Jeffrey and others—for unexpected anecdotes. Relationships, sexual adventures, and uninhibited story-telling abound, all delivered with humor and camaraderie.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Roundtable: Wildest Places We've Had Sex

• Playful Banter & Introduction:
  The episode opens with the cast in a high-energy, giggly mood. Banter around the term “sheath” as an old-timey word for condom sets the silly tone.

  • “Do we ever know what the fuck is going on before we film?” — Haley (03:00)

• Haley & Graveyard Confession:
  Haley lists graveyards and, infamously, a dentist's office as her wildest spots.

  • “I've done it in graveyards. A dentist office.” — Haley (06:49)

• Memes’ Furry Tale:
  Memes recounts sex in public by a Dodge Challenger, while in full werewolf costume—including yellow contacts and a cape.

  • “I was in full on wolf makeup, including yellow contacts... There's nothing to pull my cape up.” — Memes (06:18)

• Brooke’s Uber Adventure (07:05)
  Brooke shares a memorable escapade in the back of an Uber Comfort, with the driver awkwardly pretending not to notice.

• Riley’s Woods Romp:
  Riley reveals she recently had sex in the woods, sparking a mini-discussion about ticks and outdoor hazards.

  • “I did it in the woods the other day.” — Riley (10:26)

Listener Submissions & Notable Confessions

Favorite Anonymous Listeners’ Sex Spots (12:08 – 35:57)

• Casino Bathroom Conception:
  A listener conceived their child in a casino bathroom.

  • “I love that they know when they conceive their child.” — Riley (13:16)

• On Cars, Tractors, and Motorcycles:
  Multiple confessions reference cars (including Mustangs, Subarus, and motorcycles) as prime real estate for wild sex.

  • “Mine was a Mustang that I had.” — Haley (14:18)

• Graveyards, Gazebos, Lighthouses:
  Listeners confess to graveyards, cemeteries, and the romantic allure of lighthouses and castles.

  • “I think would be so hot... to have sex in a lighthouse.” — Haley (32:46)

• Public & Risky Settings:
  Parking lots (Dollar General, Kohls, nursing homes), church basements, Ferris wheels, hot tubs, and even porta-potties get a mention—each leading to laughter and mock-horror.

• Family Fantasies and Close Calls:
  Some racy stories—sex in front of parents or at family gatherings—spark debate about lines and boundaries.

  • “He just slipped it in while they were talking.” — Riley (30:37)

Live Call-Ins with Friends & Guests

Matt Matthews (the barn) (15:46)

• “The wildest place? …The barn.”
  • Group jokes about horses as witnesses.

Jeffrey (farms, planes, creeks) (16:45)

• Jeffrey is vibrant and unapologetic, dropping gems and outrageous lines.

  • “Sucking dick and having the co pilot take pictures, racy?” (17:49)
  • Joke proposal: “We should have the kid. Give me your sperm, Jeffrey.” — Haley (17:30)

• On the Potential for a Baby with Jeffree Star:
  The infamous title comes to life:

  • “We'll talk about it in LA over dinner.” — Haley (17:46)

Mini-Themes That Emerge

• Competition & One-Upmanship:
  Hosts playfully vow to outdo each other:

  • “Okay, now I gotta one up that.” — Haley (23:19)

• Amish Sex Fantasies & Unlikely Crushes:
  Haley’s fantasy about “banging an Amish dude” leads to a digressive, hilarious tangent on Rumspringa and TikTok’s secret-phone Mennonites (24:05 – 25:13).

• Refusal to Judge:
  The group takes a “no shame” approach, laughing at all confessions but offering genuine affirmation of people’s adventures.

• Hygiene Warnings & Smegma Horror:
  Hotel hot tubs and swinger clubs’ questionable water quality prompt a mini gross-out session:

  • “The hot tub used to have, like, this coating of, like, bubbled sperm on the top.” — Haley (21:27)

Most Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “A girl had to step her game up and sex her frame up!” — Haley, on travel outfit shopping (05:21)
• “If the buggy is a-rockin’, don’t come a-knockin!’” — Riley, on Amish dating fantasies (24:05)
• “How does he say it... Me. Lady, can you help me put on thy sheath?” — Memes & Haley, on medieval safe sex (03:58)
• “With the tick problem that's going on in the world... Taking the puss!” — Haley & Riley (10:29)
• “We'll have like a little board where it's like... Did it here?” — Haley, on tracking sex locations (23:32)
• “You did that in our fucking woods, bitch?” — Haley’s faux outrage (23:03)
• “Treehouse… That’s romantic.” — Haley (33:47)
• “Church basement with the pastor’s son during his dad’s sermon.”— Memes (33:12)
• “Roller rink in a DJ booth. That's kind of cool.” — Haley (34:05)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Wildest Personal Sex Stories Begin: 06:00
• Listener Submissions Read-Aloud: 12:08
• Celebrity & Friends Call-ins: 15:46 (Matt Matthews); 16:45 (Jeffrey)
• Smegma / Swinger Club Hot Tub Story: 21:27
• Amish Country Fantasies: 24:05
• Snack Preferences after Sex in Bucky’s Parking Lot: 35:06
• Final Confessions & Wrap Up: 36:01

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Summary & Takeaways

This episode is a whirlwind of funny, outrageous confessions about public and unusual sex spots—spanning graveyards, castles, woods, Ubers, planes, barns, and even portapotties. By blending personal stories, audience participation, and spontaneous phone calls, the Dumb Blonde crew celebrates sexual audacity without judgment. The group’s lively, anything-goes tone ensures plenty of quotable one-liners, and the infectious camaraderie makes listeners feel part of the conversation.

Bottom Line:
If you’re looking for laughs, relatable raunchiness, and unfiltered girl talk about sex, adventure, and living unapologetically, this episode of Dumb Blonde is a wild, community-driven ride.

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Next Outing:
They tease the next “Ask, Tell, Confess” episode will be from LA—so expect new stories and perhaps even more outrageous guest call-ins…

Transcript

[Bunny]

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[Haley]

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[Haley]

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[Bunny]

Ask tell, confetti.

[Memes]

Ask tell, confess.

[Haley]

Recording right now.

[Memes]

Are we not doing the other one?

[Haley]

What's the other one?

[Memes]

The, like, weirdest sex toy.

[Haley]

Do we ever know what the fuck is going on before we film? No, no.

[Riley]

We just really raw dog this, guys.

[Haley]

I'm telling you, no sheath.

[Memes]

What does that mean?

[Haley]

Have you never heard of a condom being called a sheath?

[Riley]

No. What the fuck did she just say?

[Haley]

Pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. Are we rolling? Oh, shit. All right, so I don't know if this is what it's called, but I'm pretty sure. Hold on.

[Memes]

Like an old English.

[Riley]

I feel like it's like those comments. I used to have that roll.

[Haley]

Hey, what's on your mind? So is a condom called a sheath?

[Announcer]

Yep.

[Haley]

It can be just a more formal

[Memes]

or old school word for it, like protective covering.

[Riley]

Same thing. See, when I think, I think it's like when they use, like, lamb skin.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Riley]

Or intestines.

[Haley]

I knew that. I have no last.

[Memes]

Lady, fetch me the sheep.

[Haley]

Oh, my God.

[Riley]

Can you imagine?

[Haley]

How would a guy say exactly what I thought. But how would a guy say it when he's putting it on? How does he say it using that Me. Lady, can you help me put on thy sheath? All right, so anyways, hello, friends.

[Bunny]

Welcome to another as

[Haley]

tell.

[Riley]

Didn't sound very wet.

[Haley]

Confess. That was my whistle for everybody who was in the comments last week saying, I don't whistle anymore. Yeah, yeah, you do a little.

[Memes]

Damn if you do.

[Riley]

Damn if you don't do. Over there. Didn't you. Did you give me the little.

[Brooke]

I did the A. Oh, we should have little.

[Haley]

Yeah, A T, C. I like it. We're dorks. Gets us so excited.

[Riley]

She said gang. She said dorks.

[Memes]

Okay.

[Haley]

Oh, my goodness. I'm so excited. We literally have ran around all day long, meetings, you name it, and ready. Leaving to go to LA for two weeks almost.

[Memes]

Have any of you guys packed?

[Haley]

No, I have my suitcases in the car that I just bought for the trip.

[Riley]

Just because I was wondering where you were. I was like, we have a glam in like 30 minutes and she's shopping.

[Haley]

I was. I had to get cute little, you

[Bunny]

know, outfits to sleep in.

[Haley]

And I saw the bags down there. Yeah, baby, listen. A girl had to step her game up and sex her frame up. Okay, okay, that.

[Riley]

That's. That's the quote for Summer.

[Memes]

Know to come cuddle one night.

[Haley]

Yeah. With your. Bring your sheath. So last week was a hit. You guys loved the ask how confess. So many people in the comments who told us the subject to do this week?

[Riley]

A lot of people actually asked. This was not just a one person.

[Haley]

Yeah, it was.

[Riley]

A lot of people asked about this one. And I thought, you know what? If it's most asked, why not?

[Haley]

Okay, let's. Let's tell people what it is.

[Riley]

Everyone wants to know the wildest place that you've had sex.

[Bunny]

Dun, dun, dun.

[Haley]

Where's the wildest place you've had sex, Haley?

[Memes]

I don't think I'd be doing it at Wild Girl.

[Haley]

You be in werewolf costumes. And you know what?

[Memes]

Okay, so that's not the. I mean, it was in the middle of an apartment complex out the side of his yellow Dodge Challenger. I remember that. And I was in full on wolf makeup, including yellow contacts.

[Jeffrey]

Ew.

[Memes]

There's nothing to pull my cape up.

[Haley]

There is nothing sexy about yellow contacts. I don't care who you are.

[Memes]

When you're a wolf, it goes.

[Riley]

The fact that you gotta pull your cape up looks good. The cape to the side.

[Memes]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Oh, my gosh. I think everybody knows mine. Graveyard. I've done it in graveyards. A dentist office.

[Riley]

We know that one. Dentist office. With the dentist.

[Haley]

The dental assistant.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Haley]

He was my man at the time. Rip Tony.

[Brooke]

Got it.

[Haley]

Yeah, he was the dentist.

[Brooke]

Oh. In the back of a Uber Comfort. But it wasn't full sex going on. Well, we were drunk, but yeah, that was it.

[Haley]

That's hot.

[Brooke]

Yeah, I tipped the.

[Memes]

Did he just let you.

[Brooke]

Huh?

[Memes]

He just let you go?

[Brooke]

She didn't say anything. I kept looking.

[Memes]

She's probably terrified.

[Brooke]

Yeah, she just kept looking straight.

[Haley]

I mean, I'm sure if you're an Uber driver, you're definitely, you know, seeing. Driving some passengers around that are getting blow jobs banging in the back of the car.

[Brooke]

Yeah, I just kind of at the time, through her 20 after I left, I'm like, I'm sorry.

[Haley]

Sorry for the smell.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Memes]

I would break checks.

[Brooke]

Yeah, it was just one of those. No one was. Yeah, no one was driving home. Just ubered home. And it was yeah.

[Riley]

What position were you getting?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Brooke.

[Brooke]

Was it Brooke? I mean.

[Riley]

Oh, it's bro.

[Memes]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Haley]

You don't think he's gonna tell another story with it not being broke?

[Memes]

I don't know. It could be a young, young, young little snapper.

[Haley]

I love sex outside. I don't want to get caught, but I love sex outside. So, I mean, I've had sex in alleyways like you. Just name it. It's free for all.

[Bunny]

The world is your oyster, you know.

[Memes]

That's wild.

[Bunny]

How about you, Memes?

[Haley]

Where's the wildest place you've had sex?

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[Bunny]

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[Riley]

Are you looking at me like that?

[Memes]

Waiting.

[Haley]

Where are you going? To know something. Tell us something juicy, because I know you're.

[Riley]

I did it in the woods the other day.

[Memes]

The other day.

[Haley]

With all the tick. With the tick problem that's going on in the world.

[Riley]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Got a tick in your.

[Memes]

No.

[Haley]

Taking the puss.

[Riley]

No.

[Haley]

How do you know?

[Riley]

Are you sure?

[Haley]

There's a lot of folds down there.

[Riley]

Okay. We did a deep dive.

[Haley]

Oh, all right. Well, that's hot. The woods. I'd like to get banged in the woods. That'd be hot. Up against a tree.

[Riley]

You got 60 acres.

[Haley]

With my luck, I'd get poisoned. Did you do it in our woods, you son of a bitch? In the compound in the woods. And I haven't even had a chance to do that. She said, yeah, we've got 60 acres. I was like, wait, what?

[Riley]

Everyone gets an acre.

[Haley]

All right, fine.

[Brooke]

Good quality, good quality air.

[Haley]

I'll be christening them soon. Right behind you. Right behind you.

[Riley]

High five.

[Haley]

High five. Air. Air five. If people only knew that we turned into, like, fudgeing marble Red. Smoking, fudgeing cognac drinking hillbillies. When we talk about.

[Riley]

Oh, it's how we speak about men. It's like so wild, you guys.

[Memes]

It's just like I turn into somebody's uncle.

[Riley]

You turn.

[Haley]

You turn into a. Fucking. Construction workers are like a logger. I can picture you, like, in a flannel with the flannel hat with the flaps, you know, you're just picking up

[Riley]

beer women at a fucking dive bar.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Riley]

Just hitting the marble red.

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Haley]

All right, so let's look at some of these wildest places that people have had sex. We want to honor everybody's anonymity. That's the word I learned from that one. I was talking about anonymity.

[Memes]

Crazy.

[Riley]

Listen, I. Update on that. That person ended up. That person ended up telling their parents, and they totally accepted the fact that they were gay. They have reached out. Yes. The parents are totally cool with it. The dad was a little taken back, but has now fully accepted. Mom immediately accepted the situation and very, very happy.

[Haley]

I'm so happy that we were able to help that person.

[Riley]

I've got that tattooed on my arm

[Haley]

that makes me so.

[Brooke]

A red roller coaster yeah.

[Riley]

Huh. That roller coaster is right there. It's the Giant Dipper.

[Memes]

How the hell you know that? From White sticks.

[Haley]

And that's like a roller.

[Riley]

It's the most iconic one in America.

[Haley]

Is it a roller coaster?

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Riley]

It's like 110 years old.

[Memes]

What if that's Six Flags?

[Riley]

It is not. It's the oldest wooden roller coaster in America.

[Brooke]

Wait, I see the palm tree in the bottom. Yeah.

[Memes]

You know what? I saw that as I was saying

[Riley]

Six Flags and I. Santa Cruz, California should be coming up.

[Haley]

Nobody cares.

[Riley]

I do.

[Memes]

I'm blind.

[Haley]

I am, too. Hey, you're going to have to read some of these cuz of the angle.

[Memes]

Oh, there we go.

[Haley]

All right. This person said, I conceived my first child in a casino bathroom.

[Riley]

I love that. I love that they know when they conceive their child.

[Haley]

That's kind of dope, though.

[Riley]

I know when I can see both of my kids, I wonder who.

[Haley]

I wonder what casino it was and if they should have named their kid after the casino.

[Riley]

I know this person. So I am gonna reach out.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Riley]

That's crazy.

[Memes]

Hold on. That reminds me of a tick tock I saw. And this couple had a baby and they named her all of June because their first date was at Olive Garden and their anniversary was like, June 21st. Whatever. No, the first comment was like Tinder May. So funny. The rest of the comments were just like. Like pornhub or like something. It was so.

[Haley]

I love the name Olive, though. Olive is cute.

[Riley]

My friend has a daughter named Olive because they got married under an olive tree.

[Haley]

Oh, my God.

[Riley]

So sweet. I love that someone said on the hood of a car.

[Haley]

I love getting. Nothing makes a woman feel sexier than getting sprawled out on a car.

[Riley]

Dude, what kind of car, though?

[Haley]

Mine was a my Shelby Roush Stage 2. It was a Mustang that I had.

[Memes]

Mine was my Nissan.

[Riley]

What did you just say?

[Brooke]

I said Subaru, not the Subaru.

[Haley]

Damn.

[Bunny]

Does that thing even have.

[Jeffrey]

It's low.

[Brooke]

Yeah, it's low, but wide. Yeah, you got a lot of surface area.

[Haley]

All right, I had it.

[Memes]

Ultimo.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Hot.

[Riley]

Got it. All right.

[Haley]

Like it a lot.

[Riley]

All right.

[Memes]

Bent her over my Harley while it was in my room to be worked on because no room in the garage.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Hot.

[Riley]

Wait, do you guys remember that really hot couple that came to that Shine down concert in Texas? That's them.

[Haley]

Speaking of Shine down, shout out to our boy Zach Myers. I love.

[Riley]

We call. Should we call in a source and ask him where the wildest place was?

[Haley]

Yes. Let's do it. I'm gonna live time him. I'm gonna.

[Riley]

What if we call in a few people? We should.

[Memes]

Okay.

[Haley]

Okay. Let's do it. Let's do it. All right. Zach Myers, you better answer the phone. You.

[Riley]

He was just getting tattooed. He said he's had his work back worked on for 11 hours now.

[Haley]

Damn. Maybe he's probably not going to want to answer.

[Bunny]

Then.

[Haley]

Why is my microphone so high? Damn. I was like, hey, guys, you know what? I'm tired of you never answering the phone.

[Riley]

Literally, text me, like, five minutes ago.

[Haley]

All right, we're going to try to call Matt Matthews because Zach sucks.

[Announcer]

Hold on.

[Riley]

Did we see this one? Oh, man.

[Haley]

I think people get scared when I FaceTime.

[Riley]

You know what? I kind of would.

[Jeffrey]

Hello?

[Haley]

What are you doing? Driving to the vet to get my dogs.

[Jeffrey]

What are you doing?

[Haley]

I need to ask you where the wildest place you've had sex is.

[Jeffrey]

The wildest place?

[Bunny]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Mine was a graveyard and a dental office.

[Jeffrey]

Are you someone? A podcast?

[Haley]

Yes. We're calling random people, asking them the wildest places they've had sex.

[Jeffrey]

I don't feel like it's very wild, but the barn.

[Memes]

That's hot.

[Haley]

Where the horse is watching.

[Memes]

Oh.

[Riley]

Oh, probably.

[Jeffrey]

That's like some Beastie alley.

[Haley]

I love you. I miss you. We're gonna call a couple other people now. Bye. Okay, who else?

[Riley]

Jeffrey.

[Memes]

Jeffrey. You know, he's had some.

[Riley]

Did we see this one on the left, guys?

[Memes]

All right. What does it say?

[Riley]

Said used to visit the Dollar General Store regularly. Parking lot is perfect spot.

[Brooke]

I get it.

[Haley]

The Dojen. Yeah, the little dojo.

[Riley]

DP in the dg.

[Haley]

Jeffrey's probably on a live. Okay. He's.

[Memes]

Yeah.

[Riley]

We should request to join his life.

[Haley]

Try to get him to answer.

[Brooke]

What do you.

[Jeffrey]

Dykes.

[Haley]

What are you doing, you sexy. I cannot wait to see you. I can't wait to see.

[Jeffrey]

Suck a dick with you.

[Riley]

Oh, dude.

[Haley]

Tap, tap, tap. The rotisserie all over the face, baby.

[Jeffrey]

My camels. What do you. What do we got? What do you want me to spill?

[Haley]

Tonight? I. We're calling everybody and we're asking them, where's the wildest place you've ever had sex?

[Jeffrey]

Oh, my God. Let me hit this.

[Haley]

You look so hot right now. You look, like, so manly and hot.

[Jeffrey]

Dude, I haven't shaved in a couple of days. I'm ready. I'm ready to talk to you.

[Haley]

Oh, let's do it, baby.

[Announcer]

Watch.

[Haley]

Single and ready to mingle.

[Memes]

We'll film it.

[Haley]

We should have the kid give me Your sperm, Jeffrey. Oh, my God.

[Jeffrey]

Fastest metabolism. So creative.

[Riley]

That be the funniest baby ever.

[Jeffrey]

My. My, my family line. 125 years. Men only.

[Haley]

Let's do it.

[Memes]

Wow.

[Haley]

Let's do it. We'll talk about it in LA over dinner.

[Jeffrey]

Okay. So crazy. Oh, God. Is sucking dick and having the co pilot take pictures racy?

[Memes]

Oh, that counts.

[Haley]

Is this the pictures we've seen? I feel like we've seen. I feel like.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Memes]

Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Wow.

[Memes]

I didn't know the co pilot took

[Jeffrey]

it now that I live on a farm, like, literally by the creek in the middle of nowhere.

[Riley]

On the creek. He's in the creek. He's in the creek.

[Haley]

You being quiet on the creek, baby.

[Riley]

I love that baby.

[Jeffrey]

Pink tractors coming by. I'm not kidding.

[Riley]

So funny.

[Haley]

That is so Jeffrey coded. Dude, look at.

[Riley]

I can't.

[Haley]

Oh, my God. Hi, baby.

[Riley]

All right.

[Haley]

I love you so much. I'll see you in la.

[Jeffrey]

I love you.

[Haley]

I love you. Bye, baby.

[Jeffrey]

Bye.

[Haley]

Bye. All right, can we call Briley?

[Memes]

Call Briley.

[Haley]

Yep, call Briley. She's probably like, what?

[Riley]

She's in the bathtub with the.

[Memes]

In the bathtub with a Coke in her hand and probably Cheesecake Factory.

[Haley]

So. Dude, Riley's everything.

[Memes]

Let me see. I love her so much normally how she is.

[Haley]

You guys got to hear the song that she sent me. Remind me to play it for you. It's so good. Hold on. Neil's calling. Oh, hey, friend. We're in the middle of filming. Can I call you right when we're done?

[Bunny]

When I launched bunnyxo.com one of the biggest things that took the pressure off was not having to piece together a bunch of different tools. Shopify had everything I needed in one place, from designing the site to launching it and taking orders so I could focus on the products instead of the tech. My favorite part was seeing the site actually go live and look like a real brand. Shopify's templates made everything look polished and professional from day one. And that's when it really started to feel like an actual business instead of just an idea. And once orders start coming in, I realized how easy the checkout process was for customers. People could get in shop and check out without any. Any headaches, which gave me a lot of confidence knowing I wasn't losing sales because the process was complicated. One thing I really appreciate is that Shopify has an AI assistant called Sidekick built right in. When questions come up, it's there to help you find answers and keep things moving, which is a huge help. When you're running a business, start your free [e-mail]. bu n I e. Start your free [e-mail]. bunny.

[Haley]

Okay, I'll give us, like, 15 minutes.

[Riley]

Ask him.

[Haley]

All right, bye. No, I asked my divorce attorney. Hey, where's the wildest way? He's.

[Riley]

He can't handle.

[Haley]

No, he can't handle. Poor Neil is. He's over me? Yeah, he's over me. My divorce attorney literally said, I give people suggestions and they normally listen. I've learned that Bunny is gonna do things her way. Yes.

[Memes]

Why is no one answering today?

[Haley]

Because they don't love us.

[Memes]

Does everyone work and have lives? That's crazy.

[Riley]

I hate this.

[Bunny]

What's next here?

[Riley]

We'll go through some more.

[Haley]

Let's go back to some of these while we figure out who else to call and.

[Memes]

Oh, Bradley's in the studio.

[Haley]

Be inappropriate with you.

[Memes]

Said she's cooking. I can't wait.

[Jeffrey]

Let her cook.

[Haley]

Let her cook, baby.

[Riley]

Someone said they did it in Kohl's. I would like to know if it was inside or out.

[Haley]

Did you use everybody in dressing rooms? Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Hot tub.

[Haley]

A hot tub at a hotel is fucking wild. Do you know how much? Okay, so there was a swingers club that I used to go to in Vegas called the Red Rooster.

[Riley]

We call it the one with the meatballs.

[Haley]

The roux. Yep. The meat where I got drugged with the meatballs. They have a hot tub, and the hot tub used to have, like, this coating of, like, bubbled sperm on the top.

[Riley]

No.

[Haley]

Yeah, it was bad as bad.

[Riley]

Wait, I have a serious question, though. Like, sperm can survive in certain elements. Can it survive in a hot tub because it's hot?

[Haley]

No, it kills it. It kills it. But it can bubble at the top. Like, there was a thick layer of just, like, smegma.

[Riley]

Oh, smegma. Okay.

[Memes]

I just got goosebumps. I'm gonna gag.

[Haley]

A gazebo in the middle of the cemetery. We have somebody here. Hang on.

[Memes]

No.

[Riley]

Scroll up a little bit.

[Memes]

Hold on.

[Haley]

We have somebody here who has experience with a gazebo.

[Riley]

Raining. Overlooking one of.

[Memes]

Mine. Mine.

[Haley]

Yeah. That was hot. The story you told.

[Memes]

It was. And it was. It was like storming outside, overlooking hot mountains and.

[Haley]

Yeah, that's kind of romantic.

[Memes]

It was.

[Haley]

I love that.

[Memes]

It was romantic.

[Riley]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Quiet on the creek.

[Memes]

No.

[Jeffrey]

Why?

[Memes]

Why are we skipping?

[Haley]

What are we skipping? Oh, no. I can't see this. I can't see the Zaglia.

[Memes]

If you zoom in the one on the left. I got this one. I fudged this alt Chick in the woods slapped her, spit in her mouth, slapped her. Well, hold on, comma, Slapped her, spit in her mouth, then bent her over.

[Haley]

You did that in our fucking woods, bitch. You did that in our woods. You didn't even give me a chance. Slapped and spit in the mouth. Hot in heathen. God, I like it.

[Memes]

Record it next time.

[Haley]

Damn it.

[Riley]

He said he was like almost pulled out the camera.

[Haley]

I'm almost jealous. Okay, now I gotta one up that.

[Riley]

Yeah, we're gonna have to one up each other.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Memes]

Oh, on the phone.

[Riley]

Just randomly in the creek.

[Memes]

We're all just gonna send videos.

[Announcer]

I'm over here.

[Haley]

We'll have like a little. A little board where it's like. Did it hear?

[Riley]

We should have a map and just put push pushbins in the.

[Haley]

Yeah, exactly. Yes. I love that dude.

[Riley]

It's like, where's. Where's Bunny? She's at the guard check.

[Haley]

That's an idea. Oh, with the Amish you should do that.

[Memes]

He's it, isn't he? Doesn't I need more Amish? She said I was an Amish.

[Haley]

So for everybody that's at home. Haley has this obsession with banging an Amish dude. But he has to be like straight up on me.

[Riley]

We made dating pro one time and it said if the buggy is a rocking, don't come and knock it.

[Haley]

Yes. She wants a horse and buggy, like straight.

[Memes]

I would do it in a horse and buggy. Oh my gosh.

[Haley]

That'd be kind of hot.

[Riley]

I would do that.

[Memes]

I know, but he has to be like so gothic. He has to be like a hot. Has to be like a hot girl on my show.

[Haley]

Like, how can you tell if they're hot though? Because they grow their hair out and they have those.

[Memes]

I see some that are not bad looking. But that could be like my area though. But those are. I think those are Mennonites.

[Riley]

Should we go to Amish country when we get back?

[Memes]

Please.

[Haley]

I bet you they have honors in Cali.

[Memes]

I bet the kids love them so much.

[Riley]

Do. Do they live in California?

[Haley]

I don't mean offensive, but do they bathe regularly?

[Brooke]

Yep. No.

[Haley]

Okay.

[Memes]

Wait, you said y. I'm sure. I think they.

[Haley]

Somebody in the comments.

[Riley]

Yeah, no, someone once told us cuz

[Memes]

we've talked about deodorant.

[Riley]

Is that like they're like. It's not as regular as like an everyday washer.

[Brooke]

Yeah, they're like washing off in the creek or whatever.

[Haley]

Well, that's Haley's fantasy.

[Bunny]

So.

[Haley]

Yeah. Maybe some.

[Riley]

Maybe the Amish can't wash. Maybe an

[Haley]

Amish guy listens to this freaking podcast.

[Memes]

He doesn't have a phone.

[Brooke]

I'll throw on Rump Springer.

[Memes]

Unless he is. I would like the ones that have the secret phones.

[Brooke]

You know, that is.

[Riley]

I love the Tick. The ones on Tik Tok with the secret phones.

[Memes]

Those are my dad.

[Haley]

They all have.

[Memes]

I love them so much.

[Haley]

They're like guys in prison when they sneak their cell phones in.

[Memes]

Those are my favorite lives on Tik Tok.

[Riley]

Yeah.

[Memes]

Yeah.

[Riley]

Sort of. Said in a nursing home parking lot in broad daylight. She was on a lunch break.

[Brooke]

No one's going to hear shit out there.

[Haley]

That's hot.

[Memes]

Denny's bathroom.

[Haley]

I appreciate that.

[Memes]

Midwest.

[Haley]

I appreciate a girl getting hers on her lunch break. Hold on. Here's Zack Myers. I'm in a massage. Fool. Call you back.

[Memes]

Answer it. In the massage.

[Riley]

They all get massages before the concert. I get it.

[Haley]

I said you have to answer. It's important.

[Riley]

You're gonna interrupt his pre concert massage.

[Haley]

Oh, like he hasn't had 575. They live on the road.

[Brooke]

Dude.

[Riley]

Did you see his Instagram last night of him in the red light mask?

[Memes]

No.

[Riley]

Zach.

[Memes]

I need one though.

[Riley]

He said. But wait, where'd you get it?

[Memes]

Zach, send me the link.

[Riley]

The link?

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Memes]

All right.

[Riley]

That's funny.

[Haley]

A porta Potty.

[Jeffrey]

Ew.

[Haley]

That's. That's.

[Memes]

Do you see the guy that just recently got stuck in one? No, he wouldn't come out.

[Haley]

Nope.

[Riley]

He wouldn't come on. Or they wouldn't let him out.

[Memes]

I can't remember because I kind of didn't.

[Riley]

I did he in the hole?

[Memes]

You mean in it?

[Brooke]

Didn't get stuck. That's. That's crazy.

[Riley]

No. Don't like it in it.

[Brooke]

Yeah. He wanted to be there.

[Riley]

I was a bachelorette party at a bar behind the building by the dumpster. Doggy style.

[Memes]

That's pretty much high school library behind a rock on a hiking trail while others walked by.

[Riley]

That's a little like it.

[Brooke]

A little too close to minors, but yeah.

[Haley]

I don't wanna. I don't. I'm not trying to offend anybody or get charges.

[Riley]

So.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Memes]

Yeah.

[Riley]

She could also mean they did it in high school.

[Brooke]

Fair enough.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Memes]

On a royal estate in the uk. That's my dream.

[Riley]

Okay. In the back of a Smog Master.

[Haley]

That's one of my new fantasies. I want to in a castle.

[Memes]

In a castle.

[Haley]

Yes.

[Memes]

Scotland.

[Haley]

I want to bang Dracula in a castle.

[Riley]

Oh, you guys gotta see this church. My friend sent me. She's in Europe right now.

[Memes]

Can we go back to Europe, please?

[Haley]

Europe trip, baby. The world is our oyster. We can do whatever we want and be on whatever timeline we want to be on.

[Riley]

Yeah.

[Memes]

Church.

[Riley]

Church.

[Brooke]

A lot of church.

[Memes]

You know what I've done?

[Riley]

There was a lot of church parking lots.

[Haley]

Me, too.

[Memes]

No one was there at night, so.

[Haley]

Yeah, I've. I grew up in the church, so things happened.

[Riley]

All right. In a random person.

[Haley]

I don't hear any. I don't want to hear it. Mrs. I got spit on in the woods and slapped.

[Memes]

Jason. Use commas next time. I couldn't read that.

[Haley]

Oh, hell, no. What does that say? Granny's Retire Village hot tub.

[Riley]

Could you imagine that? Smegma.

[Haley]

That probably smells like gingers.

[Riley]

I feel like it's, like, yellow mothballs. It's like when soup sits in the refrigerator for a little too long and gets that, like, hard coating on top.

[Memes]

Oh, yeah, like grease.

[Riley]

Yeah, exactly.

[Haley]

I am turning you guys off, right?

[Riley]

All right. Oh, look. Apartment, balcony. Haley, that's crazy.

[Haley]

What does that one say? Cornfield called Lovers Lane.

[Memes]

Got corn right up the ass.

[Brooke]

Oh.

[Haley]

And was hot as sex.

[Riley]

It's hot as sex, so I was okay with that. Wait, wait. He put the corn in your ass? Or were you?

[Memes]

Maybe she was. Maybe she was laying down.

[Riley]

Do you think on the field first?

[Memes]

No, we're going two different directions.

[Riley]

Oh, yeah.

[Haley]

No, but I. I genuinely am. Like, first of all, have you guys ever been in a cornfield?

[Riley]

Yeah.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Memes]

They're scary.

[Haley]

Itchy.

[Memes]

Absolutely not. I'd be terrified.

[Haley]

Itchy as bugs everywhere. Like, that's crazy.

[Memes]

No, cornfields are not. Have you not seen Children on the Corn?

[Riley]

It's kind of hot.

[Brooke]

Jeepers Creepers.

[Memes]

Every scary movie kind of like it.

[Riley]

I'd be like, why is Mimi's car down by the cornfield?

[Memes]

What are those headlights in the middle of the cornfield?

[Riley]

That's crazy.

[Haley]

Whose butthole is that? Yeah.

[Riley]

Oh, my God.

[Haley]

Okay, Dylan, where's the wildest place you've ever had sex? We paused it.

[Memes]

Oh, wait.

[Haley]

You paused it? You can't pause it. We got to see your face.

[Jeffrey]

It's not. It's not me.

[Brooke]

It's the.

[Haley]

It's your damn phone.

[Memes]

It's.

[Haley]

Cuz you need to.

[Memes]

He's recording with a calculator.

[Haley]

Where's the wildest place you've had sex?

[Memes]

Boring.

[Haley]

Oh, my God. I don't know if I could air that.

[Riley]

We're just gonna bleep that.

[Haley]

He's so shy.

[Jeffrey]

Wait.

[Haley]

This talks so much. And then when he's put on the spot. Wants to get shy in the back

[Memes]

of his mom's car while she was driving us to our homecoming.

[Haley]

That's disgusting.

[Memes]

Whoa.

[Haley]

In front of your mom? That's weird.

[Riley]

There was a couple of them that were like, my mom was talking to me and he just slipped it in.

[Memes]

Whoa.

[Brooke]

What?

[Memes]

Absolutely.

[Brooke]

Huh.

[Memes]

Huh? I can't do that.

[Haley]

My mom was talking.

[Riley]

She was having a conversation with her mom, and he just slipped it in while they were talking.

[Haley]

What does that mean?

[Memes]

How do you not see that?

[Haley]

And how do you just slip it in without, you know, getting a little face?

[Brooke]

You know what? I think I know. They were in the bed. Mom walked in. Hey, honey.

[Riley]

Yeah.

[Brooke]

And then they were like, he spent the night, but they didn't do anything. That's. That's their story. And then if the mom's talking and they're in the bed together, you can just.

[Haley]

That person was fulfilling a fantasy of the mom, too.

[Riley]

Yeah, like that's. You're watching the mom speak to the daughter.

[Haley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Riley]

That's.

[Haley]

Dudes are slimy.

[Riley]

Little buffalo wild wings. Men's bathroom during a UFC fight and got kicked out. Oh, you got caught. Get it, bro.

[Memes]

Hell yeah. That's my favorite one. Did you get free wings?

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Memes]

That's what I want to know. Yeah, I take a few bites.

[Riley]

Before I left, I had sex in a private plane. Hanger on the toolbox and then one in one of the planes.

[Memes]

That's. That's all right.

[Haley]

I would do that.

[Riley]

I like it.

[Haley]

I will do that.

[Riley]

The front door. My family's was in the living room several feet away. Why do people in front of their family.

[Memes]

I don't know.

[Haley]

That's a little weird. I never got into that. And I've done some weird small town carnival.

[Riley]

BJ on the Ferris wheel, followed by sex at the fishing.

[Haley]

Oh, okay. I around on a Ferris wheel before.

[Memes]

Yep.

[Riley]

Okay.

[Haley]

Got fingered on a Ferris wheel.

[Riley]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Like the movie Fear. Yes. And had sex on a Ferris wheel.

[Riley]

I have sex in the movie theater.

[Brooke]

How do you get leverage when it's rocking like that?

[Haley]

You just sit down. He's. He's sitting. And you squat down like reverse cowgirl.

[Brooke]

Oh, okay. Cuz.

[Haley]

Bouncing. Bouncing.

[Brooke]

And it didn't rock at all.

[Haley]

I mean. Yeah, you can't finish. You're not finishing. You're literally just doing it for the novelty. That's it.

[Riley]

You're just on a Ferris wheel.

[Haley]

Okay. There's no ejaculation.

[Riley]

Storage unit is wild. Graveyard. Oh, look, someone had a Graveyard.

[Memes]

Abandoned house. That's my fantasy.

[Bunny]

That's kind of hot.

[Haley]

I would do that.

[Riley]

We live in Jug, and we did it at the tower of a castle. Okay. That's all you right there. Yep.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Haley]

You know what I think would be so hot? Have you guys ever seen the movie Mermaids with Cher and Wynonna Ryder?

[Riley]

No.

[Haley]

Such a good movie. You guys have to watch it. It's an old school movie, but she has sex in a lighthouse.

[Riley]

That would be.

[Haley]

That would be so romantic.

[Riley]

Yeah.

[Haley]

Yeah. With, like, candles everywhere.

[Memes]

Very hot.

[Haley]

Yeah, that'd be hot.

[Memes]

I like that. I would do that.

[Haley]

We're gonna leave this. This freaking episode horny as hell. Jaime's gonna go home and bang the out of Brooke. She's gonna be like, what the hell got into you?

[Riley]

Blockbuster. Bathroom. Let's go.

[Haley]

Wait, how long ago was that when the. Was there a Blockbuster that was open?

[Riley]

Yeah. That was hot.

[Memes]

Church basement with the pastor's son during his dad's sermon.

[Brooke]

Damn.

[Haley]

We're in respect.

[Memes]

Dad's not coming down there.

[Brooke]

Yeah.

[Riley]

In a car, driving down the highway. He was driving on his lap.

[Brooke]

How could he see?

[Memes]

I'd be too scared.

[Riley]

It's a little dangerous. Yeah. Crazy.

[Brooke]

Unless it's a Tesla. I heard they drive themselves now.

[Memes]

They do. Oh, so you drive themselves.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Wow.

[Haley]

You could bang a Tesla anytime.

[Riley]

You could lean back.

[Memes]

Yeah.

[Riley]

All right. Treehouse. Okay.

[Haley]

That's romantic.

[Riley]

I like sliding apart.

[Haley]

That's kind of weird. Kind of weird.

[Riley]

Kids park.

[Memes]

I feel like, when bars are off limit. Yeah.

[Riley]

Why are we doing stuff where kids are?

[Memes]

Dude, we don't do that.

[Haley]

If it's, like, night time and there's no kids there.

[Riley]

I get it. Yeah.

[Haley]

Yeah. But if it's, like, during the day,

[Memes]

like, what are you doing on a trampoline? That's where I first messed around.

[Haley]

Roller rink in a DJ booth. That's kind of cool.

[Riley]

All right, wait. On a tube getting pulled behind a boat.

[Haley]

How hot? How do you stay on?

[Riley]

Yeah, you're holding on, trying to go down.

[Memes]

That's easy.

[Riley]

Yeah, I feel like that's a tube getting pulled.

[Haley]

I mean, they might have been just pulling them around the lake. So they have this thing. Or they had this thing in Vegas too, that used to call. They used to call love cloud or love something. And you could literally rent a private jet for 30 minutes and you would go up and this private jet was nothing but a big ass bed, and you could. And then come back down. Love cloud. I forget what it was called, but yeah.

[Memes]

Blue light in there.

[Haley]

Oh, gosh.

[Jeffrey]

Ew.

[Haley]

Yeah, that'd be like a glow stick.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Memes]

No glow stick exploded.

[Haley]

Yeah, it looked like veneers and black light. That's funny as lots of cars.

[Riley]

Oh, so many cars.

[Haley]

Yeah.

[Riley]

Bucky's parking lot.

[Jeffrey]

Yeah.

[Riley]

Yeah. I hope you got us the beaver

[Memes]

and the beaver pork sandwich after that would be.

[Riley]

Yeah. What would you be your post snack at Bucky's after in the parking lot?

[Haley]

Beaver nuggets.

[Memes]

I get a brisket.

[Haley]

I don't even gotta think. Give me some beaver nuggets, baby.

[Brooke]

Diet Pepsi.

[Haley]

Oh, Diet regular Pepsi.

[Memes]

You need a little Gatorade.

[Riley]

I really like their beef jerky.

[Brooke]

Their jerky is good.

[Riley]

Their. Their beef jerky bar.

[Haley]

And they've got everything we love. Floor of a restaurant. A cardboard of a restaurant bathroom that's dirty. I have fucked in numerous bars. I get that. But laying on the floor in any of those places.

[Riley]

No, no, please don't.

[Memes]

That's a. I don't get the cardboard dumpster.

[Haley]

That's a hard nar.

[Brooke]

Nar.

[Haley]

All right guys, we are on our

[Bunny]

way to L. A.

[Haley]

Don't fucking mind us. We got a skedaddle. But next week's asshole confess we'll probably do in a la studio. So love you. See you guys later.

[Bunny]

Bye.