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- [00:01]
A
This show is sponsored by Liquid iv. I'm clinging to summer like it owes me money. One more beach trip, one more late night out while pretending I'm ready for fall and my secret weapon? Liquid iv. It keeps me hydrated through beach days, music festivals and now the chaos of getting back into a routine. One stick in my water and boom. Three times the hydration. Tastes amazing and saves me from feeling like a dried up raisin. Summer might be ending, but I'm not going down dehydrated. Whether you're soaking up the last bits of summer or gearing up for those back to routine vibes, capture sun drenched memories with the Orange Vanilla Dream hydration multiplier from Liquid iv. This nostalgic vanilla flavor with notes of candied orange can help you hydrate better than water alone. Visit liquidiv.com and use code Bunny B U N N I E at checkout for 20% off your first order. I keep Liquid IV everywhere. My gym bag, my car, my purse because it's so easy. Tear, pour, shake and instantly ahead on hydration. My favorite is Orange Vanilla Dream and it's like a creamsicle in a bottle. I use it on hot pool days before long walks or when my schedule is packed. Three times the hydration of water loaded with electrolytes and it actually tastes amazing. It keeps me going so I can fit in all the fun without slowing down. Liquid IV is more hydrating than water alone, making this perfect for daily use before a workout. When you feel run down after a long night out and on long flights, savor the last bits of summer with Liquid IV. Tear, pour. Live more. Go to Liquid IV.com and get 20% off your first order with code Bunny at checkout. That's 20% off your first order with Code Bunny B U N N I e@liquid IV.com as summer winds down, I'm all about refreshing my wardrobe with staple pieces for the season ahead. Quince nails it with luxe essentials that feel effortless and look polished, perfect for layering and mixing. Their styles are so versatile, I find myself reaching for them again and again. Think chic cashmere and cotton sweaters Starting at just $40, washable silk tops and classic denim pants. Timeless styles you'll keep coming back to the best part. Everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands. By working directly with top artisans and cutting out the middleman, Quince gives you luxury without the markup. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finish. Lately I've been all about Quince's everyday basics and gym wear. Their leggings and joggers are so comfy, I basically live in them, whether I'm running errands or working out. Honestly, they feel way fancier than the price says. It's like wearing luxury without the guilt. If you want comfy, stylish stuff that doesn't break the bank, Quince is where it's at. I've had my eye on a few things from Quince, especially their linen bedding and their durable luggage for my next trip. What really stands out is how they nail the design and quality without the luxury price tag. The bedding feels so soft and bre and perfect for summer nights. And the luggage, sturdy, stylish, and honestly, way more affordable than I expected. If you want pieces that look and feel high end without making your wallet cry, Quince is where I'm shopping right now. Elevate your fall wardrobe essentials with quince. Go to quince.com bunny for free shipping on your orders and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com bu n n I e to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com bunny hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO show. We have Meet the D Forts. We have propaganda. We have more shows that we're adding. And not to mention we have the visuals of the podcast. Not only that, we have four tiers that caters to everybody's budget and everybody gets the the podcast. There's no more excuses. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash Dumb Blonde podcast and sign up. Stop missing out. We have built a huge community over there, guys. I'm talking about hundreds of thousands of people over there. We even have live chats. Live chats that I actually am talking in every single night. Last but not least, we give away gifts every freaking month. I'm talking like signed stuff from J and I lives. You just never know what kind of surprise you're going to get. It's like a Cracker Jack box. I love the community that we've built over there at Patreon. If you are already a Patreon member, I freaking love you, dude. Thank you so much. You guys are my babies for life. My writers. If I could, I would literally make out with each and every one of you. I love you guys so much. And that's a lot of kisses, actually. Got to go.
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B
Bye. Bunny Exo.
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A
Bunny exo podcast and bunny rolls like.
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B
Bunny XO.
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A
Talk Bunny. Is this thing on? What's up, you sexy today? I am so excited because I have been wanting this guest forever. Ever since your first album came out, I have been obsessed with you. And not to mention, your dad was one of my childhood crushes.
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B
Oh, my gosh.
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A
Elle King is in the house, baby.
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B
Wow.
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A
I have been waiting for you to come because you do not know how obsessed I was with Deuce Bigelow.
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B
No, I was in that.
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A
I did not know that.
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B
A little foreshadowing. You're like, we're gonna be friends. Oh, yeah. I was a little girl Scout.
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A
I love that. I never even knew that. But, I mean, I just. I'm. I've always been like, John Candy and, like, funny comedians were always my thing. And your dad, like, I knew. I knew he was, like, the tiniest little thing ever.
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B
Oh, my gosh.
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A
But I was just like, if he.
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B
Finds this out, he's gonna be like, I've still got it. Oh, no, dude.
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A
Rob Schneider was, like. It was Rob Schneider, Drew Carey. Like, I had a list of, like, comedians that I loved as a child.
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B
I always go for funny over anything. Me, too. I mean, I've dated all kinds of different people, but if you make me laugh, you get my heart.
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A
And my vagina.
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B
And my vagina.
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A
I'm telling you, man, you make me laugh. My legs are spread wide open.
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B
Yeah. And, like, throw in, like, a neck tat. Like, sold.
- [06:33]
A
Oh, they have to have tattoos. Do you have to date a man with tattoos, or can you date a man who has bare skin?
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B
I'll try anything twice.
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A
I love that.
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B
But I do tend to get along better with. I don't know. It just. I like people who have tattoos.
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A
It's same.
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B
You can withstand. If someone's, like, covered in tattoos, like, they can withstand some.
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A
Yeah, they can take some or they've.
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B
Been through things, you know, or they.
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A
Have that, like, rough around the edges thing.
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B
Yeah.
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A
I feel like if. If we're flesh all a mesh and I'm the only one with tattoos, I feel like one of these kids is doing its own thing, and I, like, want you to be on my team, you know? Like, you need to be covered in tattoos, too.
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B
Yeah, definitely.
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A
Are you dating right now?
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B
I am actually back with my baby daddy.
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A
O. We're going to dive into this. Okay. Hence the tour name.
- [07:23]
B
Right? Yes. Yes. And we broke up for a year and I was going through really, really insane postpartum and I. I don't even think that I realized I was going through it until I kind of got out of it and we were already broken up and he just kept showing up and we became best friends. And then through, like, custody and everything and working together and, like, a lot of therapy on my part, we've. We, like, restarted our communication, our, like, respect for each other. And I just, I never stopped being in love with him. And then finally he was just like, I wore the right set of underwear and she's like, locked in. I love that we're doing really, really well.
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A
I feel, I love that you're talking about postpartum, though, because I feel like a lot of women in the spotlight, like, you guys literally will have babies and then you're thrust back into the spotlight and it's like you don't have time to heal, you don't have time to nurture yourself.
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B
No.
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A
And then the world wants to be mad at you if, like, you're not this picture perfect human that they've put you on this pedestal.
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B
Yeah. It's honestly, like, it's kind of fucked up because I. I really struggled to get pregnant in a lot of different relationships. And now I know it's like God's timing is not up to us, and even our baby's timing is not up to us. And I think that, like, the pandemic, everything was shut down and I was able to, like, rest. I sold my house in la, I moved to New Mexico. I had donkeys and goats and I got pregnant. And because I wasn't on the road, I didn't have all this pressure. I ballooned up. I got so heavy, and I got up to £284 the day that I delivered my son. And then it was happy weight, though. Yeah. I mean, it was. It was miserable weight, but it was also like, my body did what it had to do. And then it took me three years to lose baby weight. And the thing that made me so mad is, like, in this day and age, like, no one gives any credit for anything. I don't care how anybody loses weight if somebody takes charge of their own life, not that anyone has to, because I've been every single size. But, like, I worked really, really hard because I was so depressed. I started working three months after I had my son, I was back on the road and I was, like, trying To. I, like, already stopped breastfeeding. I was so stressed out. And then I just started working out to try and get my mind right because I was, like, blue. I was really sad, really miserable. And then my song with Miranda drunk, like, really went crazy during my pregnancy. So so many changes happened so quickly, so fast, and. And then. I don't know. I just. Like, you'd think anything that I know about or had known about postpartum was like, oh, like, you could, like, be kind of sad, like, for a couple weeks, a couple months after. And I'm, like, looking down like, it's two years after, and, like, I'm getting ready to celebrate my son's second birthday, and I'm not with his dad, and I'm like, I feel so lost. I tried a lot of different therapies, and I tried, like, all kinds of, like, different psychedelic stuff. I tried talk therapy. I tried everything. And ultimately, I had to go through certain experiences on my own, some of which I didn't want to go through.
- [10:54]
A
But, like, life experiences.
- [10:55]
B
Like, life experiences. Like, you know, I'm already kind of. I don't want to say, like, I'm sick of talking about, like, what happened in January and the Dolly incident. And I'm sure people are not going to, like what I have to say about a lot of it, but, like, I can already look back and be like, you know what? I have this good thing that came from it. This thing changed in my life. This. I was presented with an opportunity to grow. And I think that every experience is an opportunity for change, and change is inevitable. It's the blade that carves itself and. Or sharpens itself, whatever that quote is. And I really like that.
- [11:35]
A
But, like, when that Dolly incident happened, were you still going through postpartum? Was that part of it?
- [11:41]
B
Honestly, I think I'd kind of come out of postpartum, and then everything that had accumulated, everything that I had just, like, sucked onto my life in my, like, depression, all just kind of came to a head. And I think it was probably just rock bottom, right? I just. If it wasn't that, it was gonna be something else. And I just took. For the first time, like, you know, when I was pregnant, like, I was like, okay, maybe I've got this time given to me. This was. This year was the first time I was like, I'm stepping. I'm stepping away from this. Everyone's telling me to kill myself. Everyone's telling me to surrender my child. And it was just so, so wrong. And, you know, if a man did it, it would have been a completely different story. But also, like, I've spoken to everybody and I've spoken to everyone at the Opry and they said that I'm not banned. And yeah, it's contrary.
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A
Is forgiving. They are really forgiving people.
- [12:42]
B
It is. And this. The saddest part about it is like. And I don't even really want to use these words, but, like, somebody is going to get arrested. Somebody is going to get something that happens. And, you know, some people might say it's good for you, but, like, for me, I'm like, that's sad. The biggest thing I learned was like, okay, take nothing that you read online for like, full blown truth. Because everything, you never know from my experience, especially what was going on then. I was going through some, like, heavy, heavy, heavy shit. Not even postpartum, not even my breakup. Not even. Just that.
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A
It's just like, can we touch on it?
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B
I mean, it was just. It was a dark situation that I can't. I can't talk about and I don't really want to. But, like.
- [13:29]
A
Like a relationship.
- [13:30]
B
Yeah. It was like bad shit that was going on and I. Because of that, no one knew what was really going on. And they just thought like, God forbid somebody looks and thinks, wow, like, what was going on with her that day? You know, like, I. I played two shows that day. I played two fucking shows. The first show was great. It was perfect. But I hadn't eaten, I hadn't done anything. I hadn't slept in days. I was so. I had such bad anxiety and everything. And I just walked back out on stage and I'd taken one shot too many. We went through that alleyway and went to Robert's Western World and a bunch of people were celebrating and I took, you know, one shot of tequila when I'd been drinking a martini and like, that I was like the tiniest I'd ever been. And boom, I could come to and like, the curtains down and it sucks. It's awful. But at the same time, I went home and I was like, I never. I never want to cry like that in a car ride home. I never want to wake up feeling like that ever again. I never want to feel that shame. I never want to, like, you know, anytime Dolly Parton calls you is cool, but, like, I didn't want it to be under those circumstances. And like. But she called me to make me feel better, you know, She's a sweet.
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A
Angel of a woman.
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B
She's literally. She's like proof of angels. She truly is. And I. I think what that taught, Like, I learned so much from this experience, and, like, if I can come out of it, literally anyone can. And I've had so many experiences like that, I hope I have less of them in the future.
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A
I'm with you, girl. I'm going. I went through some shit this last week. I'm like, lord, what are doing? You trying to teach me?
- [15:16]
B
Come on. Like, my book of lessons is, like, getting kind of full. Yeah, but I don't know. I. I. Do you believe in, like, like, many lives?
- [15:25]
A
Absolutely. And I also believe in soul contracts, and I believe that. Oh, tell me. What do you believe? Let me know.
- [15:31]
B
Okay, so I. I believe I did. Okay. This is kind of wacky, and I don't know if people believe in this. I'm so into it. Very spiritual. I'm very connected to spirit. I meditate. I've got guides. I studied with.
- [15:45]
A
Sister.
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B
Yes. Where have you been?
- [15:47]
A
They're all over here. Laughing. Cause this is me.
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B
Okay, amazing. Okay, good. Then I am.
- [15:53]
A
You found your coven.
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B
Okay, great. Stay. I did this one reading with a woman, and she was. It was called, like, a rose reading. I'd never done anything like that. And she went through some past lives. And because I'm clairvoyant and clairsentient, I also don't talk about this a lot, but I don't care. I have nothing to hide, and you are, too.
- [16:12]
A
Yes.
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B
Okay. I believe that, and I feel like that's why we're like. I love that connected. I. It was, like, over the phone, because it was during COVID It was right before COVID when things were, like, starting to, like, get crazy. And she was explaining a couple of my past lives, and I could. I was, like, locked in with her, and I could see her. Like, I could see everything that she was seeing, and I'm. Everything lined up. And I asked her, I said, have I ever had a child in a past life? And she said, no. And so she said, you're gonna have to make a soul contract with someone to bring, like, for this lifetime. And, I mean, I've even had, like, psychics. One time I was pregnant before I had a miscarriage, and he was like, have you ever had a miscarriage? And I was like, no, not that I know of. Like, boom, a week later, I had, like. I had a miscarriage. And then the next pregnancy was missed. And so I think that I had to have a soul contract with either my baby. I don't know how all of it works, but I know that, like, my Baby chose me. And I know that he's like, destined to be here, but to do that, like, I'm so into healing and I'm all into like, a lot of, like, spiritual stuff. So I felt like it's true. I saw something online that was like, if you're ever feeling like, called to a place, like, you need to go.
- [17:31]
A
Yeah.
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B
Because there's something that has to happen there. I'd never been to Bali and I went, I went probably like it was like in January and I had had like two back to back miscarriages in September. And like, oh, yeah. End of August and into September and was still on the road like three days after, like bleeding on stage. Everything so sad and doomy, gloomy. I can. It's easier.
- [17:59]
A
That's your childhood trauma, is to push through any sort of pain and not sit in it. Yeah.
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B
It's because I don't. I can't. That's when I lose my mind.
- [18:09]
A
I don't want to wallow.
- [18:10]
B
No, no. I'm like, okay, what job can I do? Okay, what can I do? Like, let's make another album. Let's do something. And then I lose my mind because I'm not actually taking the time. My new thing, I. I got to feel it, to heal it. And so that's what I did. That's why I took time this year. I know I'm bouncing all over the place, but.
- [18:27]
A
No, no, I love it. And I'll draw you in.
- [18:28]
B
Okay, cool. Yeah, I went. I felt this, like, pull to Bali and I looked up this healing ceremony in the middle of the jungle and I dragged my best friend with me. And she was like, okay. And even though she's like, into like metaphysical spiritual stuff, she was like, this is like a little much. And I'm like, meeting with this healer and she says to me, she was. I was like, you know, I had a miscarriage and like, I really. All I want to be is a mother. And she said, well, it's the soul is a boy and he'll come back to you. And I said, what do I have to do? And she said, you have to make a sacrifice. And I was like, like, quitting smoking. And she was like, just looked at me and got up and walked away. And then did this like, crazy thing where they like, whip you with flower. It was beautiful. And, like, poured all this like, gorgeous water all over you and then you like, scream. And then they like paint like, flowers all over you and they pray for you. And it was beautiful. It was so incredible. That Year is when I got pregnant and I had a boy, and it was just beautiful. I believed it. There's something, so, I think, important about just, like, what your convictions are and what you believe in. And it's so simple as, like, the thoughts you tell yourself or the things that you say out loud. All of it is energy.
- [19:49]
A
Oh, words are spells.
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B
Yes. Yes. I tell everybody that. It's everything that you like. Today I had a doctor's appointment, and I was really scared about it, and I didn't even too.
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A
I had one today, too. What was yours about? Can we ask?
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B
I'll tell you after.
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A
Okay.
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B
Okay. But I didn't want. I didn't want to, like, put negative things. Like, I was. I was so freaked out about it that, like, I. I refused to say, like, it's not gonna be good. I just, Like, I'm nervous.
- [20:16]
A
Yes.
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B
And I felt like that was better.
- [20:20]
A
I had one today, too, where I was finding out if I really had an aneurysm on my carotid artery.
- [20:25]
B
Oh, my gosh.
- [20:25]
A
I had just found out last week, that one. Today I got the news that I didn't have one. And I know exactly what you're saying, because I. I never. When I prayed, I wasn't like, you know, God, please don't let me have this. I just said, whatever your will is.
- [20:39]
B
Yeah.
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A
And let me know what the lesson is here.
- [20:41]
B
Yeah.
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A
And I never. You know, and I get that. I understand. When you're so scared, your first thing is, is you want to be like, no, please don't let the. You know.
- [20:48]
B
Yeah.
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A
But I really was just, like, surrendered, and it was my moment to actually learn how to have faith.
- [20:53]
B
Yes.
- [20:53]
A
And worked. And I'm telling you right now, if you don't speak those things into your life. Not saying that it doesn't happen for everybody, but if you don't speak those things into your life, you can definitely, I feel, change the energy or the trajectory of what's about to happen.
- [21:09]
B
Yes. And you can create that.
- [21:12]
A
Absolutely.
- [21:12]
B
That's, like, the whole thing about manifestation, which is something I learned about this year. And even just speaking it, I didn't realize what I was doing when I took time off. I. When I was thinking, like, oh, fuck, like, I could. I could go back to the world, and I could have no fucking career. I could have no musical career. I could never play a show again. I could get dropped from my label. My management could drop me. And I started thinking, all right, bitch, what do you want to fucking do? Like, what would be cool what would excite you? Because I want to be. I'm a very passionate person. I'm a very hard worker. And I thought, wouldn't it be cool to play, like, a bad guy in a movie? You know, my dad's an actor, and I don't really feel like I get a lot of the nepotism stuff, and I feel it makes me sad for the people who do, because that's one.
- [22:03]
A
Thing I've loved about you, is that when I was researching your life story, you're a lot like me. I didn't come from very much, but I always wanted to pave my own way. And you were just like, I want to make my own way. Respect.
- [22:16]
B
I didn't really grow up with my dad. I grew up with my mom and my mom.
- [22:19]
A
Yeah, let's touch on that. Let's go back and talk about that real quick. So you are a daughter of Rob Schneider. Daddy Schneider. And every time I say that, she blushes. And a beautiful Miss London King.
- [22:35]
B
Yes.
- [22:36]
A
You know, and who was like a supermodel. Correct.
- [22:39]
B
And she's the coolest.
- [22:41]
A
You. You are her twin. I mean, you guys are beautiful. You are her twin. I. I could see a little bit of your dad in you, but you are her just, you know, reincarnated. Take me on this journey with your childhood, because I don't think a lot of people don't know that your dad was not in your life growing up.
- [22:57]
B
He. He really wasn't. And it's. It's interesting because, like, yeah, I was born in California, but, like, my parents, they weren't married for very long. They didn't really know each other. And my mom had a son before me. My mom was a really, really young mom. My family comes from Southern Ohio, like, very close to West Virginia. And it's a super small town. I think it's like 1800 people, which is, like, big for a small town. There's more than one stoplight. Yeah. And it's the place that is and always has been my constant because my family moved around a lot, and my. My parents. Yeah, they split. And I have. I would spend time with my dad, but my mom raised me, like always. My mom, single mom, until she met my stepdad, who also. He's my dad. Like, he. He totally raised me.
- [23:50]
A
And to the step parents. Yes, I'm a step parent.
- [23:53]
B
Yes, you are. And they're so important. And I don't. I definitely wouldn't be a musician if it weren't for my stepdad. And he taught me everything I know about music. I mean, I'm wearing. He's got his own label, Good Times Rock and Roll Club. I'm wearing his shirt. He's a screen printer. Definitely.
- [24:12]
A
Y.
- [24:13]
B
They'll send you a whole care package and records and stuff. I would love that. And he's just, like, the most badass person ever. And my mom. My mom, I saw her reinvent herself, like, almost every 10 years because she was a fit model. She was a model. She did some acting, and then she became, like, a fitness instructor. And she was, like, helping. She was really, really, really into health. And then when we moved to New York, when I was about 12 years old, we left Ohio because my stepdad's from New York, and my mom became a doula. And she, like. Like, my mom's pretty crunchy, but she's the coolest. Like, she encapsulated my placenta, and I'm. I'm.
- [24:55]
A
Okay. What is encapsulating placenta? Just for people at home who don't know what that is.
- [24:59]
B
Okay. So the placenta is basically. It's like a filter, but it's also what gives all the nutrients and all the life from the uterus to the baby. And it's what's connected to the umbilical cord from the baby to the mama. And so it's. Sometimes they call it, like, the afterbirth, and it comes out after you have. After you give birth. And we are the only. I don't want fact checkers to come after me, but I'm gonna try my best. We're the only mammals that don't, like, instinctively or naturally eat our placenta or after birth because it's. It's, like, so full of nutrients. So I don't know if anyone's ever seen, like, a dog or a cat give birth, but, like, they. They eat it.
- [25:40]
A
They eat the membranes off the. Their puppies and stuff.
- [25:45]
B
I've seen it because it helps them. And so some people say that. Well, I mean, there's a lot of factual evidence behind it, but I don't. I don't want, like, super Western people to come after me about that, because I believe it.
- [25:58]
A
Everybody gives grace here.
- [26:00]
B
Yeah. Okay, great. And so my mom cooks the placenta and then encapsulates it, and then the woman or the mother slowly eats it over time. What does it taste like? Tastes like a vitamin.
- [26:13]
A
What does it taste like? Anything?
- [26:15]
B
Well, Dan, my boyfriend, he ate a piece of my placenta. It was cooked. It was cooked. He was like, this is the closest I could be to a Cannibal. So, you know, it's like, guys with neck tattoos who are funny. I don't know. What are you gonna do?
- [26:28]
A
They're wild. You're like, let's make another baby.
- [26:30]
B
Yeah, exactly. And. But it made me feel it. Like, when I took it, it made me feel, like, kind of anxious. And I don't know. I always feel like I'm, like, letting my mom down because she's this, like, angel. Angelic. Like, she. I was a V back, so she had a C section with my brother, and then she had a natural birth with me, and she said it was an orgasmic birthday. There's a. There's a document.
- [26:58]
A
I love Mom.
- [26:59]
B
I know. Oh, my God. I know.
- [27:00]
A
I love Mom. She's right up my alley.
- [27:02]
B
Yeah, she's wonderful. You guys would love each other. And she literally made me and Dan watch this documentary called Orgasmic Birth. And I was like, okay, so tell me about this.
- [27:15]
A
Orgasmic Births. I've never heard of this.
- [27:18]
B
Okay. Okay, great. Neither had I. No, actually, I'd heard of it my whole life because my mom was like, I had an orgasmic birth with you. I was like, mom, stop telling people that.
- [27:30]
A
Words every kid wants to hear.
- [27:32]
B
Yes. But it was like, it's basically the whole idea of it from what I took from the documentary. I was like, I'm not having that. That's not me. I was like, cut this puppy out. You kind of get yourself into this state. And I was just watching that show, Too Hot to handle, where they had energy orgasms.
- [27:50]
A
Yeah. Okay. I love that.
- [27:52]
B
So I don't think it's that far off from that. So you get yourself into this state of, like, relaxation, and you're connected with your partner, and then I guess you have this, like, flush that's like an orgasmic release of. I don't think it's, like, a sexual pleasure. But watching that thing, like, you know, you can learn a lot from reality tv. I can understand now how it could be this, like, orgasmic feeling of, like, oh, my gosh, combined with, like, I did it. Wow, my baby's here. And pride and joy. Yeah.
- [28:27]
A
Like. Yeah.
- [28:28]
B
Yeah. Like, it makes me think, like, do I want to try for, like, a vbac if I have another kid? Like, yeah. I don't know. It's. There's a lot of things. Most likely, if I were. I would be like, cut this out. That's how I was in my.
- [28:41]
A
I still think it's a beautiful thing to think about. So, I mean, if, you know, if I'm scared to death of natural birth. That's why Jay and I are doing IVF and we're going to get a surrogate, but because I also have issues, too, and I just. At this age, I don't have time for miscarriages and, you know, stuff like that, so. But yeah, women who give birth, man. You guys are savages, dude. Like, that is the most barbarically beautiful thing.
- [29:06]
B
Yeah.
- [29:06]
A
That a woman can do. And, I mean, you guys are literally just pushing a soul out of your body.
- [29:12]
B
Yeah, it's. It's pretty wild. I mean, I had a C section. I freaked out on the table. I was screaming. I can't feel my legs. And I was screaming for them. I was like, I literally, like, it's so me. They didn't even let my mom come up. But they. Because it was during freaking Covid. And so I was like, give me. Literally, give me drugs. Where is Dan dreaming for him to come in there.
- [29:38]
A
Poor Dan's in a corner somewhere.
- [29:40]
B
I know he's like, what's going on, babe? But it was. It was cool. I just. I feel like I. I won't do anything that my parents ever expect of me. And I felt kind of sad, and. I don't know. I'm just, like, a different person, and I. I definitely have, like, a very different destiny. But I also thought, like, because my pregnancy was so hard and intense, like, and before Dan and I got back together, I wanted another child. And I asked my sister. I was like. Cause she's had three kids. She. She got her tubes tied, but she can still towed it.
- [30:12]
A
Yeah.
- [30:13]
B
And I was like, I love that. I was like, hey, like, would you carry baby for me? Like, it wasn't even two seconds later. She's like, if you pay for a tummy tuck, it's like, that's good. Like, that's. That's cool.
- [30:24]
A
I love that.
- [30:25]
B
Yeah. I was, like, looking up, like, you know, cryo banks and everything, and I. I think that surrogacy is so beautiful. And, like, what a gift. I think any. I. I hate it when I see that people, like, get anything negative about how they choose to be healthy, how they choose to welcome children into this world. It should only be like, I've chills. It should only ever be celebrated because, again, to bring it back, like, you have no idea what someone had to go through to even get to that point to make that decision.
- [31:00]
A
I just think we live in a world where it's like a fish tank, and some days, you're the fish that Gets picked on and it's like they will zero in. Like when you went through the Dolly situation, I remember it broke my heart. And I reached out to you because I was like, she doesn't deserve this. I've met you, I felt your energy. I'm like, she is the sweetest soul. And that's why I reached out to you, because I wanted you to know, like, you're not alone. But this online, man, it's bad. Like, it is mob mentality and it's millions of people mob mentality that just have a.
- [31:32]
B
Worse. It is too.
- [31:33]
A
It is because there's no, there's no re. Recourse.
- [31:37]
B
No.
- [31:37]
A
So if you say something, nothing happens. You know, like, I thought like after.
- [31:42]
B
All the stuff from like early 2000s with like the Perez Hilton's and all that just like horrible, horrific bullying, like, and then I thought maybe like, okay, no more bullying is like a thing like. No, no. And the saddest part about it, which is the only way that I can like still have a fucking Instagram, it's like, okay, that person who's saying that is hurting.
- [32:04]
A
Yeah. Well, you have to post and go. So that's what I do now.
- [32:07]
B
I mean, yeah, I've had.
- [32:08]
A
I had to learn that in the last six months. Well, you can't look at it, right? Nope, I just. And I'll. I'll look at the first five and then I leave it alone for a few days when I'm feeling a little bit stronger and then I'll go back in and if there's something. Okay, by that time, by that time I'm over. That's that post and it doesn't mean anything. So I'll just delete or block, you know, if I need to. But yeah, Yeah, I just post and ghost and it was. It's been the blessing for my mental health.
- [32:29]
B
Dude, you have to, because. Yeah, I mean, like most days I'm like, I don't want to do Instagram.
- [32:34]
A
Yeah.
- [32:34]
B
And I used to love it. I used to love it because I actually interact with my fans.
- [32:38]
A
Yeah.
- [32:38]
B
And then same. Some, some people would comment like, hey, you're getting like 150 really kind things and you're only interacting with the person who said something mean.
- [32:50]
A
I get that too.
- [32:51]
B
And it's weird because like, you know what? That's true. That's so true. Why. But. And then people, they want that, they want to fight. It's so weird.
- [33:00]
A
You can't win. You cannot. No, it doesn't matter. And there are wittier for some Reason they will come back and say some of the craziest. And you're just like, son of a.
- [33:09]
B
It's, you know, really wild. I just. I just go straight for, like, the. Your mom jokes, because it's so.
- [33:14]
A
Me too.
- [33:14]
B
I do the dialogue. That's my whole thing.
- [33:16]
A
Like, they'll be like, you're such a. And I'll be like, that's not what your dad said about your mom. Or, you know, like, I'll say something like, funny.
- [33:22]
B
I said, like, that's not what your mom said last night. Like, okay. So stupid. So stupid. Yeah.
- [33:27]
A
No, seriously. So let's circle back to your childhood. So you grew up in Ohio, and I think a lot of people were like, well, when you did, and we'll get into your album and stuff, like your albums and stuff like that. But when you did cross over into country, did you get any kind of pushback? Because people were like, oh, you're not country, but really you are. You grew up in a rural part of Ohio.
- [33:46]
B
Yeah, I. I didn't actually get any pushback, I think. I think because I connected with country fans and the, the biggest, the biggest pushback was that we. Okay. When I would get really drunk, like, if anyone were to ever meet my brother and see us together, like we say, the Billy comes out. Like, my hillbilly comes out. And so when I'm drunk, like, I like, become this, like, rootin tootin fuckin. You know, Hillbilly.
- [34:18]
A
Yosemite Sam.
- [34:19]
B
Yes. Yeah. But no one ever takes the time to find out where someone's from. No one ever takes the time to.
- [34:25]
A
Find out their backstory.
- [34:27]
B
It's like all they see is like, she was born in la, her dad's Rob Schneider. She's like, da, da, da. It's like, God forbid you find out that, like, I'm also Filipino and my family is hillbilly as fuck in a nice way, you know.
- [34:39]
A
Who's Filipino?
- [34:41]
B
My dad's Filipino. Wow.
- [34:42]
A
I never know.
- [34:42]
B
So I had two very, like, different. I spent a lot of time with my dad's mom. My grandmother, she's from Manila. And I had a really large, like, Filipino family in Northern California. And so my dad would always be working, but my grandmother, she would fly at like 60 something years old. She would fly from San Francisco to Columbus, Ohio, pick me up at like 4 or 5 years old, fly me back to San Francisco to spend a weekend with me, fly me back to Columbus, and then she would fly back to San Francisco and like, that's grandmother love right there.
- [35:16]
A
That Is.
- [35:18]
B
And she taught me a lot about family values. I love Filipino culture. I love Filipino food.
- [35:23]
A
Me too.
- [35:24]
B
Yeah, it's so good. And. And so I had that. And then I had this, like, very, like, super American Midwest, like, country family life in Ohio. But I was like, a rebel. Like, I got kicked out of school in second grade. I was always in trouble. I was like, friends with all the bad kids.
- [35:44]
A
Where do you think that rebellious streak came from? Do you think it was from your father's absence?
- [35:48]
B
No. You know, it could have had a lot of. A lot of that. I think now that I'm a mom, like, if I. If I hear of something with a child that is acting out, my first thought is, what me, what needs are not being met of the child? Not, oh, that's a problem kid. Oh, that kid is a fuck up. And I was labeled as a really bad kid. But honestly, like, I didn't have, like, a massive amount of structure. My mom was a hustler. My mom was working. She was. She always had three jobs. She was always traveling. My mom would go back and forth to Hong Kong, so we'd spend a lot of time with my grandparents in southern Ohio.
- [36:29]
A
And Mama and Paw Paw.
- [36:32]
B
Mama and Paw Paw. Yeah.
- [36:33]
A
I did my research.
- [36:34]
B
Yes. And. And so I don't know. And then when I would. If I would ever spend a summer with my dad, it would be on a movie set and I. I would just get lost in the shuffle. And did you ever feel like you.
- [36:50]
A
Guys could connect or. It was just more of, like, not.
- [36:53]
B
Till I was much, much older.
- [36:55]
A
I feel like. And this is not an excuse for dads at all, but I feel like dads have a hard time relating to younger kids.
- [37:03]
B
I. I think not all of them. It's hard. I think dads who make the choice to connect with their kids.
- [37:11]
A
Yeah.
- [37:13]
B
Do. And my dad and my relationship is like a real big ebb and flow. Like, right now we're not flowing. I disagree with a lot of the things that he says. And it. He is just. I don't know, you want. You can want someone to change so much. And ultimately, like, all. You can't. You can't control anyone else's actions. You can't control people's feelings. All you can control is how you react and what you do with your feelings.
- [37:40]
A
Absolutely.
- [37:41]
B
And sometimes I fucking boil up and I boil over and I fucking bust my lid. I'm trying so hard to not be that way because I feel like that's.
- [37:52]
A
How I'm wired the same way. And My dad and I actually have the same. Had he just passed away in May. It's. It's okay. He and I had the same type of relationship where I felt like I was always the one to tell my. To give it to my dad, you know, because nobody else did. But I was always the one that was there to be like, no, you're wrong. No, you need to change this. No. And even in the end, it just. It never got through.
- [38:16]
B
And you try every different angle. I would try letters. I would try soft. I would try yelling. It's just like, well, see, look, you're yelling. You're yelling. Or like, you can't even stick up for your. It's like, what? Like, it's. It's psychotic. And I mean, it's that.
- [38:31]
A
That generation of men, for some reason, they're so toxic, and they're cool being toxic. Yeah, they don't. It's everybody else's fault.
- [38:39]
B
Everyone else is the problem because they're, like. Like, perfect, and they're right and they're.
- [38:44]
A
And they're, like, so smooth in their delivery, too. You're just like.
- [38:46]
B
It's like, show some emotion. That is sick. You are wrong for that. It's so weird. And, like, ultimately, it made me a very strong person, but I'm also an extremely anxious person, too. And, like, you grew up with ocd, correct? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- [39:03]
A
When did that start? Like, when did you start realizing, like, hey, I have an issue here with this because I'm OCD myself?
- [39:08]
B
Okay, Well, I have. I. My OCD comes out in, like, very mild Tourette's, and I. I twitch constantly. And. Oh, my gosh, I'm, like, so embarrassed about it.
- [39:21]
A
And so it's really beautiful.
- [39:23]
B
It makes me mad because people are like, she's tweaking online. It's like. Like, I used to be tweaking, and nobody said then, now I'm sober, and now my Tourette's are coming out because I'm not even taking, like, medications for it. Cause I'm just trying to, like, come into my womanhood and, like, be myself. And it's like my hands twitch, and it's. It's so that my facial tics don't go crazy. But my ocd. I was diagnosed when I was, like, in sixth grade. Cause I had this whole, like, number thing and this touching thing. I had to touch everything with two fingers. Like, really intense stuff. And I was, like, a compulsive eater, so. And that was like, something that my. A lot of people in my family had, like, Big issues with. And it's like, well, it's gotta be.
- [40:08]
A
Hard, you know, because your mom was a supermodel. And I'm sure your mom probably dealt with her own issues with eating, too, because being in that industry, there's no way that you can cutthroat.
- [40:17]
B
So cutthroat. And she had to stay a size 6 consistently or she would not get it. Not get work.
- [40:22]
A
Yeah.
- [40:23]
B
But my mom. See, my mom spun it in a way where she took her struggles and all the pressures that she felt her whole life, and she spun it into always telling me to love myself and, like, she had a chubby daughter, because I felt like. Like, both of my parents had their, like, obsessions with eating. I'm probably gonna get in so much over talking about this, but, like, I don't care. My mom will be proud.
- [40:44]
A
I. I was gonna say, I think that people need to hear this, because not enough people do talk about it. You know, my husband struggles with the same thing, and he's very open about it, and I think that there's a large number of kids that need to hear this, too.
- [40:57]
B
It's hard. It's so hard. And, like, you think about, you know, all the. The things that someone could get addicted to, and ultimately, like, one, I've been addicted to all of them. Two, it's. It's really, like. It started with food for me and compulsive eating because it was, like, where I found comfort.
- [41:17]
A
Yeah.
- [41:17]
B
And both of my grandmothers, they were, you know, like, they were huggable. They were heavier women, and. But they had so much trauma that they grew up with. And, like, my grandmother saw her freaking brother get beheaded in the war in the Philippines. Like, so she would eat, and she would feed me. You know, she would feed me, like, lots of food. And then my grandmother, like, she's also a love language, too, 100%. My grandmother in Ohio, my mom all, like, she could cook like nobody's business, and she would just like, baby, you want more? You want. Let me feed you. And it was just so good. And I would put. Put sweet cream corn on top of my mashed potatoes, and that's what. That's what I would eat. That's literally still to this day, my comfort food.
- [42:00]
A
Sounds so good.
- [42:01]
B
It's so delicious.
- [42:02]
A
Sounds so good.
- [42:02]
B
But, like, maybe not good for you, but I guess subjective, right? And so I was, like, a really, really heavy child. My dad sent me to fat camp. I mean, yeah, it was rough. And then I got in trouble one year because I sprained My ankle and I didn't lose any weight, so it's, like, very toxic and very silly and, like, it's gotta be.
- [42:22]
A
How old were you when you got sent to the fat camp? Is it okay to call it a fat camp?
- [42:28]
B
I mean, listen. Hey, I called it that, and that's what I went to.
- [42:31]
A
I just want to make sure I don't insult anybody because I feel so bad. You know, it's awful.
- [42:34]
B
But, like, the F word. The F word is, like, is so triggering for me.
- [42:40]
A
I'm. And for me too, because of my husband and I. It's so. And I've seen the effects of that word on people, and it's so hurtful. And so I never. You know, I just want to make sure we pronounce it. It's so. Aw.
- [42:50]
B
But, like, that's where he sent me to.
- [42:51]
A
I remember him. How old were you?
- [42:53]
B
I was. I went two summers in a row. I was 11 and 12.
- [42:56]
A
And it's like, what do they do in these camps?
- [42:59]
B
They. They literally, like, you get, like, a slice of turkey and, like, steamed vegetables for, like, every meal, and they make you work out all day long.
- [43:08]
A
That's not healthy, though.
- [43:10]
B
No.
- [43:10]
A
And you need way more calories than that to make your metabolism.
- [43:13]
B
Yeah. And also you need fucking therapy. Like, you need to talk about it.
- [43:17]
A
There it is.
- [43:18]
B
And you need to figure out, like, what is.
- [43:20]
A
There's no therapy in those.
- [43:22]
B
I never. I never had therapy. Like, they did things that were like, it. Adults went there too. And, like, I think some people saw results because they were starving themselves. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't. It wasn't. And there was a lot of other stars. Kids who went there, so that was sad. And I mean, it was.
- [43:40]
A
Got to be traumatizing. That has to. That probably had to start your.
- [43:43]
B
Your.
- [43:44]
A
Your anger towards your father, too.
- [43:46]
B
Oh, yeah. 100. But, like, it got to a point where, like, I never. I didn't want to spend the summer with him. And like, when I got. I got kicked out of almost every school I went to, I got kicked out of. When. The first school that I. I went to in New York City was a school called York Prep. And I don't know, I was. I was probably. I was. I refused to wear the uniform. I would, like, yell back at teachers and. And it was. I just. I always had problems with authority.
- [44:13]
A
Me too. That was my. I got kicked out of every school I went to, too. I get it.
- [44:16]
B
But it doesn't. We're not dumb. We don't have a lack of Intelligence, we probably just learn a different way than any kind of box structure that most people can, you know, function in. A one size fits all.
- [44:29]
A
I think us as children, types of. The types of women that we are, we also learned at a very young age that we were surrounded by people we did not want to be. Like, yeah, I. I know that my family. I was just. I looked around at everybody, and I'm like, you toxic motherfuckers. Not saying I wasn't, but I was just like, man, I am here to break a cycle.
- [44:48]
B
Yes.
- [44:48]
A
And I think that's. Even though we didn't know that's what we were doing at such a young age. We're like rebels without a cause. But really, we did have a cause. We were sent here to shake up and break some chains.
- [44:58]
B
Yeah. Even if it hurts. Because unfortunately, we're also strong enough to be able to handle and carry that burden of hurt, because in some, like, dark, twisted, knife way, like, it will continue to push us. And I mean, I believe it, that God never gives us anything that we can't handle. And sometimes it feels like, are you sure?
- [45:22]
A
Yeah. Last week, that's how I felt.
- [45:24]
B
I was like, you really?
- [45:26]
A
We good? Like, what's happening? Yeah.
- [45:30]
B
But I don't know. I think that now that I'm, like, less destructive, I can see the blessings and the lessons in things much sooner. And I mean, like, literally, as these words are, like, leaving my mouth, I'm like, listen to that bitch. Like, listen.
- [45:50]
A
Yeah. No. And when you're in it, it is so hard. And trust me, I get it. Like I said, I just went through it and in it. But it is, like, amazing what the mind can do, because what the mind believes, the body will follow. And I always tell people that. And words are spells. And, like, it doesn't matter what you say. If you say, you know, like, I feel like I'm gonna die like that, and I have a problem saying stuff like that. Like, when I don't feel good, I'll be like, I feel like I'm gonna die. And then I have to correct myself and be like, no, no, no, I don't mean that. You know, like, you have to really be careful with what you say and what you put in the world. Definitely circling back. So you had said that you did not want to. You. You got to a point where you stopped wanting to go and spend summers with your dad.
- [46:27]
B
Y. Like, he was filming this one, like, prison movie in, like, Stockton, California. In a prison. Yeah.
- [46:35]
A
And I was gonna say, there's not Very many.
- [46:37]
B
Yeah, cool.
- [46:38]
A
Hang spots.
- [46:39]
B
Exactly.
- [46:39]
A
Stockton and I shout out the Diaz brothers.
- [46:42]
B
I had already started getting tattooed and it was like 108 degrees, like every single day. So I was having to wear sweaters because my dad was like, very anti tattoos or like any form of self expression that differed from what he wanted for me. Not that he ever even thought about me, but.
- [46:59]
A
You're killing my fantasy of Rob.
- [47:01]
B
I'm so sorry. It's over.
- [47:02]
A
It's done. It's over with. I'm TML all day.
- [47:05]
B
Oh, I'm so sorry.
- [47:06]
A
I'm team L all day.
- [47:08]
B
But yeah, I just like, I would get in so much trouble. And now like a massive part like, of like, I guess, little. Little tease that have turned into massive paranoia. Paranormal. Wait, parent paranoia?
- [47:24]
A
Yes.
- [47:24]
B
What's paranormal?
- [47:25]
A
I don't know. I was gonna say. Is that like ghosts or something?
- [47:27]
B
I don't know. But like via ghoul.
- [47:29]
A
Like paranormal ghoul dog name.
- [47:32]
B
I like, spend one day in this, like, witchy house. It's cool. And I don't remember what I was talking about.
- [47:38]
A
Oh, dad, you had to wear sweaters covering the tattoos and.
- [47:42]
B
And so like, I didn't want to be. Oh, okay. My little teeth. So I would get in so much trouble if I ever. Oh, my gosh. If I ever messed up a shot or if I ever was like an arm in the camera or if I ever was talking, I would get in fucking trouble. And I spent. I'm really putting shit out there right now. But my dad forgot about every single birthday. I spent my 18th birthday in a summer school, like, class with like algebra one. And. Because if I didn't take it, I wouldn't graduate. And they brought me cupcakes and I came home, my dad forgot my birthday. It's okay. I read. I read an entire. Yeah, it's totally hurtful, but, like, you know what?
- [48:28]
A
That shapes and molds you.
- [48:30]
B
I put every. I put every ounce of my being into my son's birthday. Like, every birthday, even for my friends, like, every birthday, because I know how it feels to be forgotten on your birthday. And that's so sad. It's like, come on. It's my one fucking day. It's my one day. Give me that. Yeah, give me that. And so, like, I stopped wanting to go. And then I got kicked out of school in New York in sixth or seventh grade. And my mom was like, I am done with her. I was being bad. I got my tongue pierced. My mom walked in on me and.
- [49:06]
A
A boy and she was like, mom's losing her shit.
- [49:10]
B
Yes. And my mom is tired, tough. My mom, like, she doesn't give up on me ever. But my mom was like, she's your problem. And he was like, what do you want me to do with her? And he was going to Amsterdam. So I was 14 and he took me to Amsterdam and he.
- [49:24]
A
Oh, no, I've not. Recipe for disaster.
- [49:27]
B
My dad hired this 21 year old. Sweet, sweet. She was an Indian young woman. She was a virgin and her name was Aman. And she was like, she was lovely. And every single day I'd say, let's go to the flower markets. And I would be like, oh, yeah, wow, look at those tulips. And then I would dip back behind. I'd like watch her freak out looking for me and I'd go straight to the red light district. I still to this day roll the best joints ever. But like, I wanted culture. I wanted to see things and I didn't want to. Not every single day. I would ditch the nanny and she didn't want to lose her job, so she never told my dad.
- [50:08]
A
Oh.
- [50:09]
B
So I basically just spent however many months we were there in Amsterdam I had. I mean, I would go to like my, my home school, like, teacher. I was like, I don't even. I was learning some Dutch and French or something, but like, I never paid attention. I can always distract somebody. Like, I had this one tutor, I'd be like, oh, you're into Dungeons and Dragons. That's cool. Like, I don't really want to learn about like science man. And then, you know, like one time we went to. Anytime my dad would like have me on a trip, he would like, forget that he had me. And so he. I know, I know. Because he's not a great planner and.
- [50:46]
A
Is that that's the least of his worries.
- [50:47]
B
Yeah. And so he took me to Russia with him.
- [50:52]
A
Oh, no.
- [50:53]
B
I was probably 18 actually. But the thing is, like, I refuse to like, waste a trip.
- [51:00]
A
Yeah. So I love that even at such a young age, you were like, I'm here to live.
- [51:05]
B
Yeah.
- [51:05]
A
Yeah.
- [51:06]
B
We were in Russia and he was like in a basement, like getting ready to do some TV show. He had two security guards and I was like, hey, hey, we're in Moscow. Like, I'm not sitting in this basement TV studio. I was like, I'm going to go out. And he would always just be like, like reading something, like, like whatever, take, take one of the security guards with you. I was like, great. So this like beautiful Russian, like tuxedo fucking Wearing, like, young, handsome security guard. I was like, what do you do in Moscow? And he's like, do you like to ride rides? And I was like, I fucking love rides. Takes me to an amusement park. Rides. All the fucking rides with me is in, like, photo booth pictures with me. Takes me to get, like, the big Russian hat. And then, like, I had. I had started to lose some of my, like, teenage weight, and I. He was staying with, like, this very. My dad was, like, there for this, like, really rich lady, and she let me buy this, like, La Perla gown and, like, heels because they had some fashion show. And I was like, I'm such a tomboy. I don't know how to walk in heels. And there was like 25 steps down from this party, and the guy was like, like, Nikolai. He picked me up, walks me down the steps, opens the limo with me in his arms and, like, sets me down. And I was like, yeah, thank you. Thank you.
- [52:27]
A
Did you and Nikolai ever hook up?
- [52:29]
B
No, no, no, no, no. But, you know, I think of him fondly.
- [52:35]
A
It's just like.
- [52:35]
B
That was like my bodyguard moment.
- [52:37]
A
What's baby daddy's name? Dan.
- [52:38]
B
You're not listening, Dan.
- [52:39]
A
You're not listening. Listening right now.
- [52:40]
B
We're never going to Russia together.
- [52:45]
A
Yeah, yeah, Dan. Dan's like, we're never going to Russia, babe.
- [52:49]
B
Damn it.
- [52:50]
A
Damn it, Nikolai.
- [52:51]
B
That Nikolai story.
- [52:52]
A
That, or he's gonna be like, next time we have sex, call me Nikolai.
- [52:55]
B
Okay, I love that. I love that. Babe, Babe, just pick me up.
- [52:58]
A
I love that. So circling back though, you did say that your stepfather influenced your trajectory into music. Take me on that journey.
- [53:06]
B
So my stepdad, his name is Justin, and he met my mom, he was the lead singer in this rock and roll band in Columbus called Bob City. Amazing rock and roll. And my mom started dating him and her best friend was dating somebody else in the band. And so we love band boys around here. Yes, yes. And I just had like, rock and roll people all around me. And he. He still to this day has the best record collection I've ever seen. And like, he. He came into our lives when I was like, I don't know, maybe six, six or seven. And I remember being like, so young and like, he didn't care. Sticky fingered kids and all. Just like, he would let me go through all the records and he'd be like, you like that? Listen to this. Like, my. My. Some of my earliest memories of, like, singing along to music is like, like my first, like, time singing, like, into a hairbrush in the Mirror is like Captain and Tenille Love will keep us together. It's. Cause he had all these records and he would just. He would say, like, he still makes, like, New Music Friday playlists that he, like, sends out to all of his friends. Cause he just has the coolest taste in music. And he just shaped me. And so when we moved to New York, my mom always had me, like, you always have to have some kind of extracurricular because she. I think she knew, like, academics were not gonna be my, you know, the foot that I lead with. So I love that.
- [54:34]
A
The foot that I lead with.
- [54:36]
B
Yeah. So I would. Like, I was taking violin at 4 years old, or I, you know, anytime I wanted to quit something, she'd be like, you can quit it, but you have to replace with something. I tried ice skating. Like ice sports. Not my thing. Summer, like water stuff. That's me. But frozen stuff. No. And. Or like piano vocal lessons. And when we moved to New York, his best friend and one of his bandmates, Joachim, super talented guitar player, he taught me how to play guitar. And it was just kind of on from there. And the way he taught me, it was just like, he's like, I can't teach you how to read music, but I could teach you how to play all your favorite songs and I could help you, like, learn how to sing along to it. And that's how. Because I. I think also because I studied Suzuki, which is an ear training method on violin, I think I. I'm more attuned to stringed instruments. So I can kind of pick up, like, almost, you know, like a guitar, a bass, a violin, a. A mandolin, banjo, anything. And kind of finally, though, that's a talent.
- [55:35]
A
Not everybody can do that.
- [55:36]
B
Jack of all trades, master of none. But that's fine. Yeah. Yeah, it's okay. I can.
- [55:41]
A
I feel like she's like my soul sister, like, everything. It's so crazy. I. It's a talent, though, because I actually was taught how to read music. So I can read music, but I can't. If I hear something, I can't play it. So. I've always been envious of people who can do that. I think that's such a beautiful thing.
- [55:59]
B
Well, maybe we have to start a band.
- [56:01]
A
I'll do it. I'll do it. And then we'll go on tour with Daddy Roll.
- [56:04]
B
Yes. Yes. That was. I mean, listen, I had fun on that tour. I loved it. We had a blast. And you know what? Oh, my gosh. When I saw you guys at Stagecoach, like, he came like, during the show, came over and, like, gave me a big hug, like. But that's. That's, like, that's who jelly roll is.
- [56:22]
A
We love Elle. Man, you're just a little light. You know, you remind me of, like, fairy energy. And don't take that the wrong way, but.
- [56:29]
B
No, I don't. In one of my past lives, she was like, you were fae in, like, the beginning times of Earth.
- [56:34]
A
I love that. No, you do. You just have this twinkle about you, and it doesn't matter what you're going through. It's like you are always just trying to make everybody happy around, and I just love that about you.
- [56:45]
B
I feel like I was like, I saw a lot of things back in Hollywood where, like, you didn't get in trouble for how you treated people. And I, I, I'll never forget, like, seeing how, like, after someone got yelled at, for instance, how that made someone feel.
- [57:05]
A
Yeah.
- [57:06]
B
And I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm sure there's a lot of people who have worked for me or be like, she's a. And I. I am not a perfect person. I have grown a lot, and I've eaten shelves of humble pie, But I. I really do believe, especially just for, like, where I'm at now, everything that has brought me to here, it's like, all I can control is, like, my reaction. And I've been a very reactive person my whole life, but if I continue to put out what I hope to receive, then I. I can feel the path of my life and the trajectory of my joy going to where I hope it lands. And that's just like, waking up, making choices. I. I look at my son, Lucky. I say, we're choosing Kindness today, buddy.
- [57:54]
A
I love his name.
- [57:55]
B
Thank you.
- [57:55]
A
So cute.
- [57:56]
B
We got Lucky with him, so I love that.
- [57:58]
A
And I think as unforgiving as the world feels, they love to see growth. And I think them just hearing this podcast is going to change their entire perception of.
- [58:08]
B
Thank you for giving me the opportunity. And, like, I'm obsessed with you, so.
- [58:12]
A
Girl, you come here anytime. You can sit on my couch every year. I do not care. I always have space.
- [58:17]
B
We have to. We have to see the evolution of growth.
- [58:19]
A
We really do.
- [58:20]
B
See you next year.
- [58:21]
A
Yeah, seriously. So take me on this journey to. Of your first album that you dropped in 2015. Like, how. What were the steps that led up to that? Because not everybody can just get an album and a record deal and all that stuff.
- [58:33]
B
No, it. It's pretty crazy. I. I mean, I've been playing shows since I was like, like 15 years old. And my mom was always super, super supportive and like, she would help me sneak into bars. She knew that I had a fake id and like she, I, I had a talent for it. And like, I had, I was, I started writing songs at like 14 years old and, and then once I started playing the banjo, it was like, it was different. Like, I kind of stood out. And so I was playing country songs in New York and I was getting like residencies at like 18, 19 years old. And then this, A manager found out about me and I had already left New York, was living in la, losing my mind, going kind of crazy. Like, LA is not for me.
- [59:23]
A
I always find that fascinating because it's like most people who grew up in New York can't handle la, and most people who grew up in LA can't handle New York. I grew up in Vegas and la, so when I go to New York, I'm like, like overstimulated.
- [59:35]
B
Yeah, no, it can be a lot. Like, I don't, I, I romanticize about like New York and I, I really love going back to visit now. Cause my mom's, my mom and dad, my stepdad still live there and my son loves going to New York. So it's always like a really fun time. Now I, I just don't, I got very accustomed to having like, acreage, even if it's five, you know, like, I have to have a four wheeler.
- [60:02]
A
Yeah.
- [60:02]
B
Right now I'm like, I cruise around the neighborhood. I don't have acreage, but we're buying another house and I love four wheelers and golf carts and like, I have a tractor in my East Nashville.
- [60:13]
A
Like, come out this way.
- [60:16]
B
You know what? I, we're looking and it's like 20 minutes away from here. Yay. So it's really, really beautiful. I just. Mama needs a pool.
- [60:24]
A
Yeah.
- [60:25]
B
So I got to swim.
- [60:26]
A
Yes, ma'.
- [60:27]
B
Am. And so I, we were talking about.
- [60:31]
A
That you getting your, you know.
- [60:34]
B
I, I moved to la and I just like, was always playing shows. I didn't, I wasn't signed nothing. And then this manager, I said, did.
- [60:44]
A
Your dad ever try to help you? Not to cut you off?
- [60:46]
B
No. No, no, no.
- [60:47]
A
You didn't want his help?
- [60:49]
B
No. And honestly, I, I, I didn't talk to my dad. I go for like four or five years without talking to my dad. So I got signed, I released my album, everything. Honestly, when I put out my record and people finally started asking about my dad, my dad called me and was like, don't Fucking talk about me in the press. Like, all right, okay, great. But also it's like, get fucked. I don't care. Like, hey, listen, people have asked me about your fucking ass for years and I'm like, you're talking out your ass ass and you're, you're talking about, about drag and, and, you know, anti gay rights. And it's like, get like, oh, I never heard that. Well, he's, he's just talking out of his ass. And I, I want to use this opportunity to say I disagree. I do not agree with what he says. Yeah, I believe in all forms of love. And I just believe in anyone finding their happiness and their joy in whatever way, whatever capacity that is. There are no politics when it comes to love.
- [61:46]
A
Absolutely.
- [61:46]
B
It's it. And so, yeah, I wasn't. He never helped me. I never wanted his help. He also didn't have a very good reputation, so I didn't want. That was really. It. It wasn't it. It wasn't even like a lot of like, I've got to pay my own way. I was like, I don't want to be associated with him and I'm gonna get in trouble for saying that, but I don't care.
- [62:04]
A
And good reputation as in, like working with him. Like, he just not.
- [62:08]
B
Not nice.
- [62:10]
A
Right, Gotcha.
- [62:11]
B
So nice. And, and so. And I wanted to be nice. My whole thing is like, I always want people to want to work with me again. And not everyone can say that because I'm not perfect. And like, I've fucked up a lot.
- [62:22]
A
Like, we all learn and we all grow.
- [62:24]
B
Yeah. But my label hasn't dropped me and I. Okay, so I went in. It was Christmas of probably 2014, I was maybe 22 years old, and I go into an empty office. And it was before Sony bought EMI and this guy named Jake Ottman. I just went in with my banjo and I played a song called Good To Be a Man. And he signed me right on the spot. So I got a publishing deal. He sent that song to Peter Edge, who's the chairman of rca. And I'd been kind of talking to some labels and everyone was sort of like, dicking me around. And RCA was like the first. I mean, mind you, they had Elvis and they had so many bands that, like, I really loved. And. And they were like, always, like full steady, always consistent. Never made me feel like they were dicking me around or anything or, like weirdly courting me. They were just cool and great and I felt like they truly believed in me, which is rare.
- [63:22]
A
For record labels.
- [63:23]
B
Yes. Which is very rare. And like even though I found out that like men were getting $10 million deals, I didn't get a lot of money for mine but, but I felt like they believed in me. And my first album had great success.
- [63:36]
A
I mean it was a great album.
- [63:37]
B
Thank you. X's and O's was awesome.
- [63:39]
A
And Ain't Nobody's Baby, Baby. That was my shit, girl. That and Mean was my shit. Mean is a great song.
- [63:48]
B
Thank you so much.
- [63:49]
A
I love that.
- [63:50]
B
Well, I, I, I, I'm trying to get back to that whole aspect of like just writing. I don't know, it's, it's hard. I think it was Bob Dylan. I don't know who said it, but you have your whole life to write your first album and then a year to write your next one and it's just strange. And I got like a lot of nominations on that first album. I topped a lot of charts and then I kept going. And like it makes me uncomfortable to say, but I'm also very proud that I've broken a lot of records and as like, like, you know, I think Back to like 11 year old Chubby me like Ellie, like at fat camp, like, and people always saying like you're, you know, you're not gonna ever do anything. It's like you did it on your own too. Yes, I did. Eat it. Eat it up.
- [64:39]
A
Suck it while it's soft.
- [64:40]
B
Yes. And I'm very proud and like I want my son to know that. And like sometimes I think about like at what age do I like tell my son, like son, like don't google me. Cause stuff will come up.
- [64:53]
A
But, but not a mom that speaks her mind and doesn't take, I don't know, I mean that's respectable to me. I don't have a problem with a woman who stands her ground.
- [65:03]
B
Yeah.
- [65:03]
A
Granted there's a couple situations that you know, you've owned up to and, but just because your mistakes happen online and in front of people doesn't mean that other people aren't making similar mistakes behind.
- [65:16]
B
They just aren't on a grand TikTok.
- [65:19]
A
Exactly. Exactly.
- [65:20]
B
But America loves a comeback story. And I will say if I didn't come back, back out the gate swinging and like with my together and putting on like great shows. I put a lot of effort, energy and money into like this. I have an opportunity, I have an opportunity to show that I've grown, that I am better than ever. That like that is not. That might be one facet like my mess Ups are. They are part of me. And. And they are part of. Ultimately, I feel like I. I learned more. I always say, like, expensive lessons are, like, the best. Best.
- [65:51]
A
Yeah.
- [65:51]
B
To learn. Yeah. Because, like, oh, I can't afford to make that one again.
- [65:54]
A
Yeah.
- [65:55]
B
And. And so, like, they're a part of where it hurts, you know? Yeah. But, like, I can kind of look back and laugh and just be like, wow, that was, like. That was so crazy. And it wasn't even that long ago that I was like, I don't want to wake up. I don't want to be here. Like, I don't. I should. Maybe the world is better. Maybe it is better off without me. And, like, to think, like, now I'm like, wow, that was pretty crazy. I was like, ooh, probably should have eaten that day, you know? And it. I. I feel. I feel like it's very much behind me, and I feel so distanced from it.
- [66:26]
A
And I feel like, because you're not that same person.
- [66:29]
B
I'm not.
- [66:29]
A
And if Dolly can forgive you, the world can forgive you.
- [66:32]
B
Totally. And I. But I also think that, like, there's such a massive part of that that, like, helped me get to this, like, point where I'm the happiest I've ever been. I'm not putting as much pressure on. I was like. Like, I had so much pressure that I was putting on myself to, like, lose all my baby weight. And, like, I was like, just. I was going crazy. I was losing my mind. And now I'm like, you know what? I think I'm okay. I don't need to meet anybody's standards but mine. I'm healthier than I've ever been. You look beautiful. Thank you. My brain is good. I'm like. I'm taking, like, healthy medication. There's nothing wrong with antidepressants. In fact, fact, they're great for you.
- [67:13]
A
Did you. So did you are on medication? Did you. Were you taking it for your postpartum, or did post cause you to get on them?
- [67:21]
B
I was refusing to take any antidepressants because I felt like there's all these weird things, and I don't know if it's OCD or just, like, obsessive thinking, but, like, I. I really, like, I didn't want to get on it. I don't know if maybe part of it was like, I don't want to gain weight. I don't want to be sleepy. I don't want to feel like I can't create because I've tried to take a Lot of antidepressants before in my life, and sometimes they made me feel like I couldn't create or anything. But I also thought that I had to be high off my fucking mind to make a record in a month in the studio with my friends. And it's like, that's actually not conducive, and it's not good for anyone. And you're a mom now. And so I finally was like, all right, I. I reached this point of, give me anything that will make me not feel sad. Give me anything that will make me feel more confident and less anxious, because I don't want to feel like this. And I. I got to it, and I figured it out, and, like, I take antidepressants, and I feel great, and, like, I feel happy. And I. I don't know, it. I just think that, like, when you.
- [68:31]
A
There's nothing wrong if you need it.
- [68:33]
B
No, there's nothing wrong with it at all. In fact, I'm like, you should take therapy, and if you might need medication, you should take it. But I also love Eastern medicine. I love acupuncture. I think a massage goes a long way. Talk therapy is incredible, even on the computer, you know? And, like, I just like where I'm at now. I'm like, tell me what to do.
- [68:53]
A
Yeah.
- [68:54]
B
And when it used to be like, I don't want to hear it now. Like, what works? Like, yeah, you know, like, throw this noodle at this wall, and if it sticks, like. Like, I'll take it. Like, that's good. You know? I just want to be happy. And I've learned that, like, if I can be the best person for me, that act that actually makes me a better mother for my son, because I can't be doing any of this for anybody else. I have to do it for me, because then I can be firm, steady, and grounded. And then that, like, when my cup is full, that's when I can give to other people. And I've just noticed that I could be so much more present, and I can. And I can just be. I don't know. I wasn't such a bitch to Dan, and he was, like. He started to soften.
- [69:37]
A
And, like, let's talk about Dan and Lucky. Let's talk about that area of your life.
- [69:41]
B
Oh, I love them so much.
- [69:44]
A
I see you light up. I see you light up. When you talk about them, your stepfather and your mom, you just get this, like, twinkle in your eye.
- [69:50]
B
Family's so important to me. And sometimes it's your chosen family, you know?
- [69:53]
A
Amen. I got my chosen family. Jay Bailey. Those are my chosen family. Like, I just. I don't know what I would do without them.
- [69:59]
B
You know, they're like. They just become like our sturdy rock. And I think I was. I've been really selfish a lot. A lot in my life because I'm such a hard, hard worker, but I didn't want to make a lot of the same mistakes that I grew up seeing. And. And so, like, again, like, this thing that happened, like, in January, like, it just. It just changed me. And I. I faced a lot of stuff from my childhood that I felt like I could put to bed. And now I'm starting to. I've been, like, given this opportunity to meet me where I'm at now and start working on these issues in my adult life and all my unhealthy things. And you're only as sick as your secrets, right? And so I'm like, you have to tell on yourself, and you have to be honest and truthful. And like I said before, like, I started to treat Dan how I would just hope that he would treat me, because we were, you know, fighting pretty bad, and neither of us. You can't be heard if you're not listening. And so our communication was really not in a great way. We were, like, speaking different languages, and it was all rooted from a place of fear and all rooted from a place of hurt.
- [71:17]
A
Right person, wrong time.
- [71:19]
B
Yeah. Yeah. And then once we started to, like, hey, you can't. Like, we can't talk to each other like this. Like, this is not okay. Lucky can't be around this. And we just started to respect each other. And I think maybe there is some of that missing even in our prior relationship. And so this doesn't feel like we got back together. He kept saying, like, it's a new relationship, babe. Like, we have to take it slow. And I was like, let's get married. Let's get married right now. And he's like, I want to take it slow. Like, we owe it to ourselves. And I'm listening to him and, like, I want him to be, you know, like, I want him to feel like a man and a strong man. And I think as someone who's a performer and someone who's. I. You know, I don't really, like, think of myself as, like, a famous person, but I. I am, you know, and you've earned it.
- [72:12]
A
You've worked your ass off, babe.
- [72:13]
B
But I know that it can. Can. It can be, like, an emasculating thing to date, like, or be partnered with someone who's like a strong female, especially one, like, I've got a reputation. It's like, oh, she's a badass and she can really go toe to toe with the boys. And like, while that's all true, I also, I want to be like a soft, feminine, like, wife and like, loving partner and also have some love. You can be. Yes. Love me for both. And he does. And I need to love him. And I need to celebrate his masculine. And I also need to totally celebrate my favorite part, which is his soft, silly, sweet. Because our, like, funny neck tattooed guys are usually the sweetest teddy bears.
- [73:01]
A
Yes, absolutely.
- [73:02]
B
And that's what we love. Because we're tough ass chicks. Right?
- [73:05]
A
Well, I had to learn that with Jay, you know, because I came into the situation with just so much baggage. And I mean, I was like a. Just a, like just a force to be reckoned with. And I came in and I just was so used to emasculating every man that I had ever been with. I make the money. Don't, you know, don't. I'm gonna fight, you know, and I finally, we. I don't think it's said enough as couples, especially when you are having communication issues, to be able to sit down and look at each other and say, hey, hey, we can't talk to each other like that. That changes everything. And my husband and I had to sit down and do that. And we've had the best relationship since. Communication is key, comprehension is vital, and it's like, you literally have to be in. You are fighting dragons with this person every day. That is your teammate, your co conspirator. Like, you guys are literally slaying this thing called life together. And you guys have to be on the same page age. If not, that ship's not going to sail.
- [74:02]
B
And it's a choice I've struggled with. Like, okay, how do people get married? Like, what is it? How do you, like, really know? And like, do you just pick? Do you just choose? Because that's why, like, when you're, when you're just talking about that, I'm like hanging on every word because, like, you know, I, I think I, I don't think Dan would be upset from, like, with me saying, like, you know, we're doing couples therapy and like, everything.
- [74:24]
A
Jay and I have done so much therapy. I just had a therapy. The appointment before you came in here.
- [74:28]
B
Right. But that's beautiful. And like, it's, it makes your bond stronger. And like, honestly, we. I asked him. It was like such divine timing this. This. This therapist who basically, like, kicked us out because I asked if he would go to couples therapy with me. And we got into, like, a big fight.
- [74:52]
A
That happened to Janice.
- [74:53]
B
He liked this booty girl on Instagram, and I was mad. And so we walked in, we sat. Like, there could have been an ocean between us, and we were fighting, and she was like, I don't think that I can continue to see you guys. And it was not great. But then she emailed me, and we weren't together, but we were, like, in a really great flow of things. And she was like, hi. I just wanted to let you know that, like, I'm starting to take new patients again, and I didn't know where you guys were at in your journey. And I was like, oh, wow, we're actually doing really, really well. And I asked him, I was like, hey, like, do you think you, like, want to, like, go to, like, couples therapy? And he was like, yeah. And I said, like, just as friends, like, just so we can help, like, our communication. He was like, yeah, I think I would like that a lot. And then, like, a week later, we were, like, back together, and all you.
- [75:45]
A
Guys needed was a conversation. Like, a conversation of two people actually wanting to listen to each other.
- [75:51]
B
Yeah.
- [75:51]
A
Can change so much.
- [75:53]
B
And it's. It's really, really crazy what happens when you put down the receipts and you put down the swords and you don't yell and you just, like, take a second. Like, that's not my strong suit. It is not my strong suit. I'm. I was made to fight. I grew up in a yelling family. That's just how we communicated. And it wasn't even, like, nobody wins in that. Not even the loudest person. Everyone just is, like, in fight or flight and shaking with adrenaline.
- [76:24]
A
Looking like Ren and Stimpy.
- [76:25]
B
Yeah. It's crazy. It's not good. And I think we both, like, grew. Grew up with a lot of that, because that's. No one told anybody. No one told anyone. That's wrong. Until recently. Now everyone tells you that you're wrong for anything that you do.
- [76:40]
A
And sometimes I'm kind of like, all right, enough, you know?
- [76:43]
B
Yes, of course.
- [76:44]
A
But definitely the Speaking softer to each other. We don't yell in our house. I think I've yelled at our daughter one time, and she really deserved it. Yeah. Like, I just. We don't. Because I grew up in a screaming household also, so I can't. If you start yelling at me, I'm automatically shutting you out.
- [76:59]
B
Yeah.
- [76:59]
A
Like, I can't listen to it.
- [77:01]
B
And. But also, if you think about it, like, even going back to, like, not toxic people, but, like, you know, who does win an argument the calmest?
- [77:11]
A
Because they'll piss you off even more.
- [77:12]
B
Because they'll get you. Like, I'm like, what the. You know, like, any, like, teacher. Like, I just think about, like, principals who are like, talk like this. I'm like, you.
- [77:21]
A
Yeah.
- [77:21]
B
But, like, that's how, like, I want to be. But I also.
- [77:24]
A
I want to be levels to get to that.
- [77:26]
B
Yes. And I'm not there. I mean, peeling the layer back. I'm like, maybe level one.
- [77:30]
A
I'm. I'm. Don't start none. Won't be none.
- [77:32]
B
Okay. Oh, I like that. I like that. I just want to be the mom that, like, my son comes to, no matter what. If he gets arrested, God forbid, I mean, I'll let it be him. I'll let him sit. I'll. I'll keep that tradition in my family. My mom said, you get arrested, I'll let you sit in there. But I've never been arrested.
- [77:47]
A
Yay.
- [77:48]
B
I know. Shocker.
- [77:49]
A
Good. That is awesome. I've been arrested, so that's crazy. How have you never gotten arrested?
- [77:55]
B
I know. I've been handcuffed twice, but, like, I'm very smooth with my words.
- [78:00]
A
The same way he can get out of handcuffs at any time. I'm like, you motherfucker. Dude.
- [78:06]
B
Very charming.
- [78:06]
A
He is. He is so charming. I'm like, I hate you. He can get out of speeding tickets. I get them all. No, it doesn't matter. And you would think it would be opposite because they always say, oh, cops could let pretty girls off. Not saying I'm pretty, but, you know, just saying. Just saying that. It's like a myth, you know? And no, my husband gets off on every ticket. They fucking stick it to me every fucking time.
- [78:26]
B
I only got one speeding ticket. Also. Shocker. I know. And it was in my hometown.
- [78:30]
A
I can't believe they gave it to you, though.
- [78:32]
B
I know. She goes, I know who you are.
- [78:33]
A
Oh, it was a shit.
- [78:34]
B
But I still have to give you this ticket. I was like, damn it. And then she came to the show. Oh, she even commented because I, like, took a video because I was. I was like, man, I never get pulled over. And I took a video of, like, oh, she commented on it. She was like, I was one who gave the ticket. But we loved your show, me and my girls. I was like, 85.
- [78:50]
A
I love that. That is so funny. So what. What's happening now with l You. You are on your redemption tour, your ba. What's the. What is it called, baby? Ask the baby.
- [78:59]
B
Baby Daddy's Weekend tour.
- [79:00]
A
Baby Daddy's Weekend Tour.
- [79:02]
B
And I am just playing lots of music. I'm about to finish. Finished my album. I have a lot of music coming out. I'm really, really excited about it. And I always say this album is the most me, but I think anything that I'm working on is where I'm at in my life, and I'm very proud of the music that I'm making, and I started making a lot of it before I had a nervous breakdown this year. And it's bringing me back to life, just, like, creating again and, like, having these, like, seeds planted and then making this beautiful album. So it's definitely gonna be a little different than my last three albums, but I don't think that even though all my records have sound, they all sound like me. I don't think any of them have sounded, like, exactly the same. But, like, my music is a representation of where I'm at in my life.
- [79:56]
A
And what is it more like? Is it country?
- [79:59]
B
Yeah, it's definitely a country album, but it's really beautiful, and it's what country is to me and everything that I've kind of learned in the country world, and I feel like these are gonna be the songs. Like, I don't play every song from every album at every show, but there's a lot of songs on this album that, like, I'll play for the rest of my life, and that makes me really proud and excited. And I'm also sitting on an album that I made when I was pregnant, before I went to country, and I'm, like, drunk, and I don't want to go home. I wrote eight years before it ever came out. And so that. That song taught me so much about the life of music. And so I'm also sitting on an album that's, like, really, really incredible, and I'm just waiting for the right time for that to come out, because it's probably, you know, the best album I've ever made and drop that. I know. I know.
- [80:53]
A
What are we waiting for?
- [80:54]
B
I know. I think after that big eclipse, right?
- [80:59]
A
Yeah.
- [80:59]
B
Everything is supposed to be, like, all the seeds that we've planted. I don't know if it's the same for every star sign, but a lot of things are coming to fruition from the last eight years. And so everything that I've been really, really working on is all coming to a head in a good way. And I think it's the same if you believe in that and if you believe in yourself and if you are manifesting these good things, things that you're putting out in the universe. It makes so much sense. If you're into, you know, astrology or astronomy or anything like that, like how all this stuff can be coming. Even. Even the crazy lessons that like I've learned this year, like, I feel like all these things are leading me to these manifestations of things that I've been maybe too afraid to try. And like, when I was thinking about doing like, I want to be cool man. To be a bad guy in a movie. I did a movie. I just did like my first, like actual like really, really cool movie. And it's all things like you just have to try and continue to put yourself out there. And like, it's not the first movie that I've ever done, but this is the first time that like, I really prepared. I worked so hard to get it. And like all these things that. All these good things that are like, hey, wouldn't that be cool? And just thinking about it and like putting it out and like dreaming about it, like that's manifesting that, that's pulling it, that's inviting it. And I always say visualizing that it's already yours. Yes. And I say you have to make room in your life for greatness and like, you have to clear things out. You have to like cut things off. And that's how like, you know, like you have to clip like buds on roses sometimes. But that's how. More roses. I'm not a great gardener, but I.
- [82:35]
A
Do have some roses that's been on. I'm manifesting to learn how to garden. It's hard. I know.
- [82:40]
B
I can't even.
- [82:41]
A
I can't even find. Could save a sunflower from the grocery store. Listen, I've tried twice.
- [82:46]
B
I. I've tried to like mulch and put. I'm trying to like. Cuz what like the. Your house is a representation of your mind. Right? So I was like, my house looks like. So I tried to garden and now all the grass is growing up through the mulch. And it's like, oh my God.
- [83:01]
A
That's why you need landscapers.
- [83:02]
B
It's so hard.
- [83:03]
A
Yeah, you got to have. You have to have people help you.
- [83:05]
B
I know, I know you're trying to fight the stubbornness.
- [83:07]
A
Yeah.
- [83:08]
B
You got.
- [83:08]
A
You can't do it all else. I think your lesson this year is you can't do it all, baby.
- [83:12]
B
Ask for help.
- [83:13]
A
Yeah. Allow people to help you, baby. You need. Just. I get a landscaper. Okay. It'll make you feel better.
- [83:19]
B
Okay. Yes.
- [83:20]
A
Oh, thank you so much for this conversation. It was so sweet. And I can't wait to have you back. And I can't wait to see this tour. I can't wait for people to hear this podcast. I really feel it's. It's gonna touch a lot of their hearts and they get to just see a glimpse inside of you. And I just.
- [83:34]
B
Just.
- [83:35]
A
I love it.
- [83:36]
B
You're so beautiful and you spread so much amazing positivity, and I just. I appreciate you. Thank you for having me on. I love you so much money. You're. You're amazing.
- [83:43]
A
We're gonna make out after this. Don't tell Dan.
- [83:47]
B
Don't tell Dan.
- [83:48]
A
Don't tell. But I will tell my mom. Yeah. Shout out, mom. Shout out mom. We love you. Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I'll see you guys next week. By.
- [84:01]
B
Shopify helps you sell at every stage of your business. Like that. Let's put it online and see what happens.
- [84:06]
A
Stage and the site is live.
- [84:08]
B
That reopened a store and need a fast checkout. Stage thanks. You're all set. That count it up and ship it.
- [84:14]
A
Around the globe Stage this one's going to Thailand.
- [84:18]
B
And that.
- [84:19]
A
Wait, did we just hit a million orders?
- [84:21]
B
Stage Whatever your Stage Businesses that grow grow with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 a month trial@shopify.com. listen.