Dumb Blonde Podcast: Throwback: Erica Mena – "I'm Not The Villain"

Release Date: February 1, 2026
Host: Bunnie XO, Dumb Blonde Productions
Guest: Erica Mena

Episode Overview

This raw, two-hour-plus episode features reality star, actress, and entrepreneur Erica Mena in an extended, uncensored conversation with Bunnie XO. The show dives deep into Erica’s upbringing, trauma, reality TV career, relationships, motherhood, abuse, and public perception. Erica opens up about her family history, childhood pain, surviving toxic relationships (especially her tumultuous marriage and very public divorce from Safaree Samuels), fame’s costs, and her journey to personal empowerment and sobriety. Throughout, Bunnie offers a compassionate, relatable sounding board, probing with empathy and honesty.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Erica’s Reluctance to Do Interviews/Public Perceptions (03:28–06:53)

• Erica admits she rarely does interviews, citing how she’s been reduced to clickbait or misrepresented—especially by male interviewers or reality show producers:

  “I was casted to be the villain. That was the conversation we had at the … start my reality journey. … It wasn’t until … the backlash that I got, I was like, oh, maybe it's not like wrestling necessarily.” (07:36)

• On why she joined Dumb Blonde: A sense of solidarity with Bunnie, who “owns up to who you were, what you were, and kind of like … this is who I am now.”

2. Reality TV: The Villain Edit & Truth Behind the Scenes (06:53–10:20)

• Erica discusses being typecast as a ‘villain’ and how reality TV distorts reality—manufactured conflict, alcohol, and manipulated scenarios, both intensifying real drama and skewing the narrative:

  “Reality TV encourages bad behavior because that gets views...I swore it was like wrestling. ... you go, be the super villain, … and you get to be yourself again. … but people are going to believe what they want to believe.” (07:36–08:39)

• “In my mind, I’m like this is like wrestling … In reality TV, they gear you up … then they juice you up, give you up, and then production ... tells you what’s going to happen, and then go." (08:46–09:34)

3. Erica’s Early Life: Bronx Roots, Family Trauma, Foster Care (10:32–17:06)

• Erica’s mother was incarcerated while pregnant; Erica spent her early childhood in foster care, experiencing neglect and sexual abuse:

  "The early stages of my life was definitely away from mom and family...being molested so young … to this day, for me to be sexual with anybody … it has to be a connection." (13:46–15:49)

• Discusses layers of anger, unresolved resentment, and how “being the tough cookie I am … That’s why I just kind of been that girl to not take no shit." (26:59)

4. Generational Pain, Family Complexity, and Healing (20:38–25:27)

• Erica reflects on her mother's own abuse, the family’s tangled relationships, and her stepdad’s positive role as a support figure.
• The struggles of feeling unheard when reporting abuse as a child, being told “it didn’t happen”:

  "That’s why I’m like—I'm so adamant on being the tough cookie that I am...I got the label of being batshit crazy because I don’t take no shit." (26:41)

5. Career Beginnings: Music Videos, Video Vixen Era (29:36–41:04)

• At a young age, Erica hustled herself into modeling, video shoots, and publications with no team—admitting the trauma she survived protected her from exploitation in the industry:

  “My childhood traumatic experience saved me a lot from getting caught up ... in these environments...knowing better. ...I would never.” (36:41)

6. Motherhood, Early Adulthood, & Single Parenting (49:38–56:14)

• Shares how she hid her first pregnancy, never having wanted kids, and the immense pressure of providing for her son King as a young mom:

  “I more so spent the time being pregnant with my first pregnancy coming to terms with, okay, this is what it is. … But once King was born, I was like, okay, I’m okay with this.” (52:55)

7. Relationships, Loss, and Grief: On Raul—Her First Son’s Father (48:09–68:32)

• Describes her relationship with Raul (Terror Squad), their initial connection, subsequent toxic cycles, his role in her career, and his sudden death’s impact:

  “He was the best dad… He would remind me of who I was a lot, like, do you know who you are? Did you forget?” (66:49)

• Profound grief watching her son King mourn his father:

  "Heartbreak...to see your kid heartbroken and as a mom, you really can’t do anything about it..." (64:17)

8. Motherhood and Fame: Being Judged Online (69:03–76:10)

• Erica addresses the public’s judgment about her parenting—especially absence due to working, and her son King’s preference for privacy:

  “Since when did we start shaming moms for having to work?... I already have the guilt of knowing I’m gonna miss football … That guilt will just never go away.” (71:56)

• “He (King) has the private life …him and his dad like privacy as well. And he, he has everything he wants and more … He’s 17 and in college right now." (74:34)

9. The Safaree Saga: Marriage, Betrayal, Abuse, & Public Perception (79:33–157:02)

Courtship and Mania (80:50–84:30)

• Safaree pursued Erica for three years; she was initially repulsed ("My intuition knew what was up… I did not want him. Never found him attractive in that way.” (80:54))
• Erica admits to being ‘love-bombed’ and manipulated, falling for the idea of family.

Cheating, Divorce & Public Narrative (96:19–107:26)

• Details Safaree’s serial cheating, including with prostitutes and during her pregnancies (“I found out he was cheating on me the first time ever. And he was going to Chinese parlors … I was completely, obviously disgusted, heartbroken…” (97:47–98:16))

• On repeating Nikki Minaj’s pain:

  “I owe her the biggest apology ever... Everything she has ever said about him is true. Everything that she had went through with him, I’m going through it worse.” (98:20–101:37)

Abuse & Gaslighting (112:33–131:25)

• Erica describes cycles of emotional and psychological abuse—triggers, blame-shifting, love-bombing, and being made to feel “emotionally unstable”:

  “[He] stirs up so much confrontation … sets me off. … and then I end up apologizing for things that I shouldn’t be apologizing for...” (128:16–129:33)

The Public Explosive Moments (141:07–148:01)

• Breaks down infamous viral incidents: climbing Safaree’s fence (for a supposed child emergency) and home confrontations — revealing context was left out of what Safaree posted online.

  “If someone is breaking into your house, why wouldn’t you call the cops?... I am concerned. I am confused. My eyebrow is literally touching my hairline.” (167:27–166:48)

• Erica owns her reactive rage on camera, explaining it came after relentless provocation and financial manipulation.

Safaree’s Weaponization of Public Opinion & Children (176:41–185:13)

• Explains how he manipulates her “villain reputation” for sympathy as he absents himself as a father:

  “He's using my reputation to now paint this picture on why he chooses to be a deadbeat.” (176:43)

• Reveals Safaree’s fixation on much younger women, the pain of his neglection, and the ongoing legal harassment (“…he's now suing me for defamation...after putting this out on me.” (186:17))

On Breaking Free and Final Acceptance (183:10–185:13)

• Erica: “I did love him. … This [exposé video] set me free. Because now I can tell the truth on all of this. I am not perfect...but now I can move forward.” (184:19–185:04)

10. Growth: Sobriety, Healing, and New Beginnings (198:52–212:35)

• Erica shares her commitment to sobriety, daily meditation, physical challenges (cold plunge, journaling), and using these tools as a form of empowerment and mental stamina.

  "To go where I'm really headed … I used alcohol to numb … that played a big part of me indulging, and not being levelheaded." (199:02)

• On her spiritual practices—waking at 5 am to pray and journal—envisioning success, clarity, and growth for her 40s and beyond.

11. New Ventures: Dating Show & Acting Career (191:50–197:41)

• Announces her upcoming Zeus Network bisexual dating show "Two Ways with Erica" (nine girls, nine guys vying for her heart), plus new movies, and her determination to repair her public image and pursue happiness and stability for her children:

  “Now, you know, doing Two Ways with Erica was just an outlet of just kind of seeing what it's like to date me and how to date me ... I'm definitely a freaky girl. But I'm also very fun.” (195:01)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Her Reputation and Owning Her Story

“I got the label of being batshit crazy because I don’t take no shit. … And then people thinking I’m crazy, believe it or not, helps me because … they know not to f*** with me.”
— Erica Mena (26:59)

On Love Bombing and Seeing the Cycle

“The same thing he did to [Nicki], he's doing to me years later. … I owe this woman an apology … Everything she has ever said about him is true.”
— Erica (101:29)

On Motherhood & Regret

“If there's any regret that I have is the person that I chose to have two more kids with. But I love my babies … I just really…”
— Erica (204:27)

On Survival and Self-Worth

“If I wasn't allowing this man to see his kids, why is it that he's taking me to court for everything but to see his kids?...I would never let this man touch me again.”
— Erica (188:49)

On Her Future

“I want to progress in this life of clarity …and just continue to indulge in bettering myself. …The force that I am about to become is … I’m excited for myself more than anything.”
— Erica (209:01–212:06)

Key Timestamps (MM:SS)

• 03:28 – Show intro, Erica’s rarity with interviews.
• 07:36–09:52 – Erica explains reality TV ‘villain’ dynamics.
• 13:46–17:06 – Childhood trauma, foster care, abuse.
• 49:38–56:14 – Early career and motherhood journey.
• 66:48–68:32 – Raul’s death, supporting her son King through grief.
• 96:19–102:24 – Safaree’s cheating, learning truth from Nicki Minaj’s experience.
• 112:33–129:33 – Gaslighting, emotional abuse patterns.
• 141:07–148:01 – Viral confrontation, full context of fence incident.
• 184:17–185:13 – Erica on breaking the trauma bond, setting herself free.
• 198:52–212:35 – Sobriety, wellness, visualizing her future.

Episode Tone

Candid, raw, heartfelt, sometimes dark yet empowering; flips between brokenhearted, fierce, humorous, and reflective.

Summary: For Listeners Who Haven't Heard

This episode is an intimate, no-filter journey through Erica Mena’s life from childhood adversity in the Bronx, surviving foster care and abuse, hustling her way through the video vixen era, and entering the world of reality television, where she was cast—and too often forced—into the role of “villain.” She bravely discusses being manipulated and battered by both the industry and toxic relationships, especially her public marriage/divorce from Safaree Samuels, who she accuses of gaslighting, infidelity, emotional and financial abuse, and weaponizing her reputation as a mother for his benefit. Erica claims her power through therapy, sobriety, and self-work, embracing her role as a mother, survivor, and determined entrepreneur. The episode shows Erica’s flaws and anger but also emphasizes her growth and determination toward healing and lifting generational curses. The conversation is honest, sometimes graphic, and always unapologetically real, making it a compelling listen for anyone dealing with trauma, co-parenting challenges, or fighting to reclaim their narrative.