A Walk On The Wild Side | 3

Summary

Dying For Sex: Episode 3 – A Walk On The Wild Side

Host: Nikki Boyer
Guest: Molly
Release Date: February 19, 2020

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Introduction: Breaking Boundaries in the Face of Mortality

In the third episode of Dying For Sex, titled "A Walk On The Wild Side," host Nikki Boyer delves deeper into Molly's journey of self-discovery and sexual exploration following her diagnosis with stage IV breast cancer. This episode highlights Molly's bold decision to leave her unhappy marriage and engage in a series of unconventional sexual relationships to reclaim her sense of aliveness.

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Insomnia and the Quest for Connection

Molly’s disrupted sleep cycle, a side effect of her cancer medications, often left her awake in the early hours, grappling with existential questions about life, healing, and forgiveness. Seeking distraction, Molly turned to dating apps, where she connected with like-minded individuals seeking companionship during those lonely nights.

Notable Quote:

Molly [00:27]: "These were the days where I couldn't sleep like past six in the morning... I needed a distraction."

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Encounters with Unconventional Fetishes

Molly's quest for connection led her into interactions with men possessing unique sexual fetishes. The episode recounts two particularly vivid encounters:

1. The Foot Fetishist:

   • Setup: Molly matched with a German model who had a pronounced foot fetish.
   • Experience: Their encounter involved Molly indulging in foot worship, where she walked on his chest and face, an activity that both amazed and empowered her.
   • Reflection: Molly noted the difference her cancer diagnosis made her approach to relationships, allowing her to embrace non-traditional roles without attachment.

   Notable Quotes:

   Molly [10:05]: "He likes to be walked on, and he also liked to suck toes and sort of watch me as he was worshiping my feet."

   Nikki Boyer [13:32]: "Does your diagnosis of cancer have something to do with your not giving a fuck?"

   Molly [13:46]: "The cancer made me feel less attached to individual men."

2. The Pee Play Enthusiast:

   • Setup: Molly met a young, athletic man who introduced her to pee play—a fetish involving urine in sexual activities.
   • Experience: During their encounter, Molly engaged in drinking his urine, an act she approached with curiosity and openness despite societal taboos.
   • Reflection: Molly later grappled with the implications of her actions, contemplating the safety of engaging in such acts while on cancer treatment.

   Notable Quotes:

   Molly [21:02]: "I just felt really comfortable with you."

   Nikki Boyer [22:44]: "I have a lot of mixed feelings around Molly's adventures."

   Molly [28:46]: "There's an intimacy to accepting somebody inside of you. Even their waste."

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Empowerment Through Exploration

Throughout the episode, Molly emphasizes the empowerment she feels by exploring her sexuality beyond conventional norms. Her willingness to embrace different fetishes serves as a mechanism to assert control over her life amidst the uncertainties of her illness.

Notable Quotes:

Molly [14:25]: "It's fun. It's empowering. It's like a different kind of sexuality where you're not using your vagina at all."

Nikki Boyer [28:33]: "There is an intimacy to accepting somebody inside of you."

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Navigating Trust and Vulnerability

Molly's interactions showcase a delicate balance between trust and vulnerability. By meeting men with specific fetishes, she creates a safe space for them to express hidden desires without judgment, fostering a unique bond rooted in mutual acceptance.

Notable Quotes:

Nikki Boyer [37:09]: "They have these fetishes and then there's just this knowledge that you're not going to out them."

Molly [37:32]: "He and I even talked and I was like, this could be problematic for you in the future."

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Reflections on Mortality and Desire

As Molly continues her journey, she reflects on how her terminal diagnosis reshapes her approach to relationships and sexual desires. The urgency of her situation propels her to seek meaningful and adventurous connections, pushing her boundaries to savor every moment she has left.

Notable Quotes:

Molly [06:23]: "Three years later, I got re-diagnosed as terminal. I left my husband at 15 years and started having sexual escapades to feel alive."

Nikki Boyer [39:57]: "When you walk on the wild side, it's always a risk. There's an unknown around what will happen and where you'll end up."

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Conclusion: Embracing Life Despite the Odds

"A Walk On The Wild Side" serves as a poignant exploration of how facing mortality can lead to profound personal growth and a redefinition of one's desires. Molly's experiences underscore the themes of healing, empowerment, and the relentless pursuit of feeling truly alive, even in the shadow of terminal illness.

---

Episode Highlights:

• Timestamp [00:27]: Molly discusses her insomnia and initial foray into dating apps.
• Timestamp [10:05]: Detailed account of the foot fetish encounter.
• Timestamp [21:02]: Introduction to the pee play fetish and its implications.
• Timestamp [14:25]: Molly reflects on the empowerment derived from her sexual explorations.
• Timestamp [37:09]: Exploration of trust and vulnerability in fetish relationships.
• Timestamp [39:57]: Final reflections on living boldly despite cancer.

---

This episode offers a raw and unfiltered look into the complexities of seeking connection and empowerment amidst life-threatening illness. Molly's candid storytelling, combined with Nikki Boyer's insightful narration, provides listeners with a deeply engaging narrative that challenges conventional notions of sexuality and fulfillment.

Transcript

[Nikki Boyer]

A quick note before we start, in case the title doesn't give it away. This podcast has a lot of frank talk about sex. And this episode has some particularly graphic sexual material. So it may not be suitable for everyone.

[Molly]

I woke up and I turned on my phone and the first thing I did was I opened Bumblebee.

[Nikki Boyer]

And then what?

[Molly]

And then what? So it's now. These were the days where I couldn't sleep like past six in the morning. Like it was like. So it was six in the morning no matter what time I went to bed, it was like my eyes would open at 6 and I'd be like, bing.

[Nikki Boyer]

Molly loves to sleep in. If she could. She'd sleep until like four every weekend. But her breast cancer put her on a cocktail of meds that messed up her sleep cycle. Now she'd lay awake in the wee morning hours staring at the cracks in her ceiling, asking herself all those fun existential questions like how could she make the most of her life? And how to move on from past hurts and regrets. Yeah, it was deep. She needed a distraction. So she'd grab her phone, open up a dating app and start texting. And usually there was a guy on the other side doing the same thing.

[Tim]

Hey Tim, you up?

[Molly]

Hey, what's up?

[Tim]

Haha, still awake.

[Molly]

So six in the morning and I'm bumbling. I match with this guy, super cute. Turns out like he just got home from something that night.

[Nikki Boyer]

Of course.

[Molly]

And I just woke up and he's like, oh, why don't you come over for breakfast? Wait, yeah.

[Nikki Boyer]

Who dates before 7:00am I know, I know.

[Molly]

Well, I have wanna hang.

[Tim]

I'm into it.

[Nikki Boyer]

What time?

[Tim]

Realistically? 6:30 IST. I might stop at Dunkin Donuts for coffee. You want anything?

[Molly]

I'm good, thanks.

[Nikki Boyer]

One caramel macchiato later, Molly found herself pulling up to a nondescript stucco house in Van Nuys. She was excited to meet her early morning date. From his photos online, he looked super cute.

[Molly]

I get to his house and he opens the door and I'm like, where is he? And then I look down and I'm like oh shit. He's like half my height. I'm not super tall. And he's like shorter than I am and I'm like. And he's kind of wearing girl sweatpants and I'm like. And I'm trying like really hard. I'm like, well I'm here. So like we go in.

[Nikki Boyer]

It's his kind of wearing girl sweatpants.

[Molly]

Yeah, like from like the juniors department. And I'm Like. And, like, so we, like, go inside his house, and, like, we're cuddling, and I'm, like, not into it. And then, like. And then he's, like, trying to get me to tickle him, and I'm like, okay. And, like, then I kind of realize I'm being backed into a tickle fetish because he's getting hard.

[Nikki Boyer]

What?

[Molly]

Yeah. And then, like, the girl's sweatpants kind of, like, reveal, like, the boner that's sort of appropriately sized for someone who's that size. And, like, I was like, oh, God. And he's trying to get me to, like, go down on it. And I'm like, I can't, but I feel bad. Like, I need to help him out. And then, like, and then, like, he ejaculates all over. Like, his. He's like, where should I come? I'm like, I'm anywhere but me. Like, I don't know.

[Nikki Boyer]

Like, this is all before 8:00am Yeah, I just want to put that out there.

[Molly]

And then I was like. And then we're done, and he wants to cuddle, and I'm like, oh, man, I forgot. I gotta go be elsewhere. This is like.

[Nikki Boyer]

Wait, was the orgasm from the tickling?

[Molly]

Yeah.

[Nikki Boyer]

Wait, so did you tickle him?

[Molly]

Yes.

[Nikki Boyer]

Wait, hold on. So he's like, hey, hi, I have a boner. Will you tickle me and then I can come?

[Molly]

No, he's. Will you tickle me and then I have a boner? Yeah.

[Nikki Boyer]

Oh, got it.

[Molly]

The boner comes with a. And then he's like, oh. And he's, like, writhing around with a tickle, and I could just see things. Oh, my God. I know, I know. It's like, but, you know. And in my head, I'm like, oh, I guess I continue to talk about this on the podcast.

[Nikki Boyer]

A few years ago, if some random guy had wanted Molly to tickle him to orgasm, I'm pretty sure she would have told him to get lost. But now, strange men had become interesting strangers. Molly felt like she had nothing to lose, and she kind of was down for anything from wondery. I'm Nikki Boyer, and this is dying for sex. This is episode three, A Walk on the Wild side.

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[Molly]

Okay. Okay.

[Nikki Boyer]

Here we go.

[Molly]

Okay. Hi. Three, two. Three, two, three. Oh, I'm supposed to.

[Nikki Boyer]

Ready in three, two. You're listening to Dying for Sex, where we talk about feeling alive, like really alive in the face of a terminal diagnosis.

[Molly]

I'm Molly. I'm 44 and I have stage four breast cancer. Technically, I'm dying, but aren't we all?

[Nikki Boyer]

You're just dying a lot faster than most people.

[Molly]

True.

[Nikki Boyer]

I'm Nikki.

[Molly]

My best friend in the world.

[Nikki Boyer]

We've known each other for like, what, 20 years? But in the last few, Molly has gone through a lot.

[Molly]

Well, kind of. I mean, I got breast cancer and did all the treatment for that. Bilateral mastectomy, chemo, what have you. Three years later, I got re diagnosed as terminal. I left my husband at 15 years and started having sexual escapades to feel alive.

[Nikki Boyer]

These sex stories are so interesting that we had to make a podcast about it and about our friendship.

[Molly]

So welcome to Dying for sex.

[Nikki Boyer]

So I always ask, how are you doing today? How's your health?

[Molly]

It's okay. It's fine.

[Nikki Boyer]

Let's be honest, on the way here, what happened? You almost threw up in my car.

[Molly]

Yeah, a lot of nausea, a lot of fatigue, but, you know, overall, pretty good.

[Nikki Boyer]

You look great.

[Molly]

I feel okay. I have energy today, but, you know, I'm not keeping food in.

[Nikki Boyer]

Mm.

[Molly]

Yeah, that's about it. You know, there's like, you know, the. The GI thing is not great, but other than that, I feel fine.

[Nikki Boyer]

Well, I made you some jello. Brought it over to your house and.

[Molly]

And it deconstituted in your hot car.

[Nikki Boyer]

It did.

[Molly]

And it never did you eat it? Mmm. It was so good looking.

[Nikki Boyer]

It kind of looked like brains mushed up with fruit.

[Molly]

Yeah. And then there was like some weird layer that, like, Congealed. Doesn't matter.

[Nikki Boyer]

Jello's gross anyway. You shouldn't eat it.

[Molly]

No, you're right.

[Nikki Boyer]

Although when you weren't eating anything, you were literally getting zero sustenance. You were like, whatever sounded good in the moment. You had to eat.

[Molly]

You didn't have a choice. Yeah, honey. Aw, poor me.

[Nikki Boyer]

I think it is poor you.

[Molly]

It is poor me.

[Nikki Boyer]

We take that for granted. Like, I could just eat whatever I want whenever I want. But you can't. With each new health crisis, Molly would look for more distraction, and the distractions got more and more interesting.

[Molly]

Why don't we talk about some fetishes?

[Nikki Boyer]

Okay.

[Molly]

Because I met a lot of guys who had a lot of fetishes.

[Nikki Boyer]

Well, I kind of want to start with foot fetish guy.

[Molly]

Foot fetish guy.

[Nikki Boyer]

Foot fetish.

[Molly]

Foot fetish guy. Yeah.

[Nikki Boyer]

Okay, so let's go. Let's go. Go.

[Molly]

So foot fetish guy. I don't even remember Tinder. I think I met foot fetish guy on Tinder. He was German. He was a model. Beautiful guy. Why are you laughing?

[Nikki Boyer]

I don't know he was German. My other friends that are on Tinder are like, I met this guy from Encino. He's a young dad. And you're like, I met a German. He's a model. He likes feet.

[Molly]

Right.

[Nikki Boyer]

I'm kind of flabbergasted right now. How insanely hot you are.

[Tim]

I'll take that reaction. Highly flattering.

[Nikki Boyer]

Just like most of Molly's dates, it started with an exchange of flirty texts and photos. Only this time, the star of the show wasn't Molly. It was Molly's feet. What's your foot size?

[Tim]

Eight and a half. But sometimes I fit eight or seven and a half, depending.

[Nikki Boyer]

I could look at pictures of your feet all day.

[Tim]

Happy to put that to the test.

[Nikki Boyer]

You met a German model who likes feet.

[Molly]

He likes feet. He likes foot worship. And I didn't know what that meant at the time, but I was like.

[Nikki Boyer]

I have no idea what that means.

[Molly]

Yeah, no, I didn't either. So I was like. So I went. And I got a pedicure, and I wore, like, heels, and I went over there.

[Nikki Boyer]

If this were a movie, Molly would walk into the hot model's apartment. There would be candlelight and sexy music, lots of fluffy white rugs. I picture her sitting down on an overstuffed couch, crossing her legs and slipping off a shoe. He uncorks a bottle of Veuve Cliquot and eyes her foot. Except that's not how it goes down at All.

[Molly]

I think we watched a movie or something. I think we did something very mundane, and we talked and we got along really well.

[Nikki Boyer]

And was he just eyeing your feet the whole time?

[Molly]

No, see, that's the thing. He wasn't. He wasn't. No, we actually got along. We had, like, some intellectual conversation, and then. And then the shoes came off. Literally.

[Nikki Boyer]

Right.

[Molly]

Literally, yeah. So, you know. So his thing was he liked to be walked on, and he also liked to suck toes and sort of, like, watch me as he was worshiping my feet. He liked the idea of, like, looking up at a beautiful woman and worshiping her feet at the same time. So I kind of learned very quickly how to deal with this foot fetish, which is, like, he would sometimes stabilize me with his hands as I was walking on his chest or his face. Like, I would step up.

[Nikki Boyer]

You were walking on his face?

[Molly]

Yeah. Yeah, I know. You'd think, like, how does it start?

[Nikki Boyer]

How do you go from, like. How did you go from like, oh, what do I do? To walking on his face?

[Molly]

Well, because I told him I don't have any experience, so you'll have to sort of walk me through this, literally.

[Nikki Boyer]

So, wait, were you scared to step on his face? Head?

[Molly]

Yeah. I didn't know if it was gonna pop, like. And he was like, no, it's fine. I can't do the accent. But he was like, no, I tried. Didn't work. Anyway, he was like, no, it's fine. So he was like, you know, so he would balance me and help me, and I would, you know, step on his face. And then eventually, like. And he wasn't wearing anything.

[Nikki Boyer]

I mean, he's naked, and you were just walking on him.

[Molly]

Walking on him. There was no, like. I didn't do any foot job stuff with him. Really?

[Nikki Boyer]

What does that mean?

[Molly]

I could have, though, jerking him off with my feet. Yeah, I don't think we ever did that. But there were, like, different things where he showed me, like, different ways that I could sit and that he could, like, you know. Yeah. So anyway, this is a whole different world. And then I got really interested in sort of just, like, jamming my toes in his mouth. And he got really into that. And then he would jerk off and, like, to completion while you were just.

[Nikki Boyer]

Like, shoving my feet in his face.

[Molly]

And telling him what to do. And then I would start to get bossy.

[Nikki Boyer]

Okay.

[Molly]

And I'd be like. I'd be like, lick that one now. Now lick that one. You can see my face is getting, like, fired up. It was really fun. Wow. It was something nice about having this, like, insanely gorgeous man, like, licking my toes.

[Nikki Boyer]

Okay. I can get on board with, like, the licking the toes, and I can get on board with, like, him just worshiping a part of your body, you know, your feet. It's kind of an intimate thing to touch someone's feet.

[Molly]

Yeah.

[Nikki Boyer]

But then, like, the stepping on his face and the walking on his body, that's where I.

[Molly]

You lose me.

[Nikki Boyer]

What did that do for him? Like, was he. Was he in pain or was he aroused or both?

[Molly]

I don't think it was painful. I mean, I'm not that heavy, so it wasn't like. Yeah, but, like, I guess.

[Nikki Boyer]

I guess when I get a Thai massage, they walk all over me and I feel it.

[Molly]

Yeah. Yeah. And there's a way to do it so that, I mean, you know, you don't step on an organ or any shit like that.

[Nikki Boyer]

Do you ever walk on a. Not with your heels. Just your bare feet?

[Molly]

Yeah, just bare feet.

[Nikki Boyer]

Okay.

[Molly]

Yeah.

[Nikki Boyer]

So were you nervous? Because you were like, I don't know anything about foot fetishes. I'm just gonna go into.

[Molly]

Were you, like, whatever. No, because he. That was his thing. So I'm really good at, like, entering into other people's fetishes. Just tell me what to do, you know what I mean, and I'll do it.

[Nikki Boyer]

Molly's entry into the world of foot fetishism reminds me of that acting and improv class we took years ago. Improv is all about saying yes and building on whatever your partner does, no matter how ridiculous, and adding something of your own. This was Molly's chance to improvise in her sex life. It was exciting. She was pushing boundaries, doing things she had never done for a moment or a night. She could forget about her cancer and just let go. And she didn't care if she ever saw the guy again. Okay, now let me ask you this.

[Molly]

Yeah.

[Nikki Boyer]

Does your diagnosis of cancer have something to do with your not giving a fuck? Or do you think if you would have met this guy, pre cancer, would you have been the same way? Like, does the cancer make you give less fucks is what I'm asking.

[Molly]

That's a good question. I think pre cancer, I probably would have wanted to. I mean, because he was not a monogamous person. He had a bunch of partners. He was, you know, footing all over the place. And I think he was also sleeping with other people. So it was like. But I didn't care, you know? I was like. The cancer made me feel less attached to Individual men. So before the cancer, I probably would have tried to be his only one or changed him or tried to. That's where I kind of started to not care as much.

[Nikki Boyer]

All right.

[Molly]

You know, it makes sense to me. It was like, I just. I'm not jealous. I just like, yeah, go do your thing, and I'm here right now, and let's just have fun.

[Nikki Boyer]

Would you ever do foot fetish stuff again?

[Molly]

Yeah, it's fun.

[Nikki Boyer]

What do you like about it?

[Molly]

It's just different. It's fun. It's empowering. It's like. It's a different kind of sexuality where you're not using your vagina.

[Nikki Boyer]

Hmm.

[Molly]

At all.

[Nikki Boyer]

All right.

[Molly]

I mean, I didn't with him anyway. I mean, he wanted to sleep with me at one point, and I said no.

[Nikki Boyer]

All right.

[Molly]

Like, after the foot fetish thing, I just didn't see him that way. So it was, like, so fascinating. Yeah, but it was great. I mean, I really enjoyed it.

[Nikki Boyer]

Like, where does a fetish come from? Do you think it's, like, something you're born with, or do you think it's something you develop when you start to become sick? Like, how do you just all of a sudden become turned on by feet? Because feet are the last thing I want to see. Well, I mean, not the last one of the last things I want to see.

[Molly]

I was like, really? Like, don't do it for me. I could think of other things.

[Nikki Boyer]

Yeah.

[Molly]

Yeah. Well, I think my guess is that mostly men have foot fetishes. I don't know. I'm making this up. I am not. You know, I'm not a therapist. I have no idea. But there's something about the curve of the foot that kind of mirrors the curve of a woman. I think a lot of the times people are sexualized, something happens in brain wiring where something will happen to you, like as a kid, but at the point where you're starting to feel sexual, and then it'll link those two.

[Nikki Boyer]

Molly, you're so smart.

[Molly]

So smart.

[Nikki Boyer]

No, really.

[Molly]

But, yeah, I think that's what happened.

[Nikki Boyer]

Okay. All right.

[Molly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nikki Boyer]

So, wait, was this your first and only experience with foot fetishes or.

[Molly]

I've had a couple other foot fetishy people.

[Nikki Boyer]

Okay.

[Molly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nikki Boyer]

I'd like to know about them. Molly had only dipped a toe into this new pool of men. But every time her health took a turn for the worse, her desire for sexual adventure escalated. And there were plenty of guys willing to swim in the deep end.

[Molly]

Like this. Ladies.

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[Molly]

Okay, so there was another guy that came over to my house. He was very young and, like, ripped, like, completely. Like his body was. He had, like, a 25 pack. I mean, he was just. That sounds kind of gross, but he was really nice.

[Nikki Boyer]

Did you know there was a foot fetish involved before he got there?

[Molly]

Yeah, but there are different kinds of people, foot fetishes. So some foot fetish people like the curve of your foot. Some of them like to see the wrinkled sole of your foot.

[Nikki Boyer]

Can you curl your toes so there aren't wrinkles?

[Tim]

Curl them how?

[Molly]

Lol.

[Nikki Boyer]

I don't know how to explain it.

[Tim]

Which way is facing up?

[Nikki Boyer]

Wow.

[Molly]

I know. So I had to, like, figure out a way to do that.

[Nikki Boyer]

I'm a wrinkled soul, so I consider myself.

[Molly]

There you go. You'd thrive then. Yeah.

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[Tim]

Can we play a little by ear? Text me in the a.m. there are.

[Molly]

Very few guys that I, you know, invite oversight unseen. I'm usually, like, pretty good about. Well, no, that's not true. Now I am. But at the time, it was like, eh, fine, come over. What are you gonna do, you know, kill me? I'm dying. So anyway. Ooh, scary. Yeah, right?

[Nikki Boyer]

Okay.

[Molly]

So anyway, but it was okay. So he walked in the door, gorgeous. And we didn't say a word. We just started kissing.

[Nikki Boyer]

Hot, hot.

[Molly]

And he was like, really, just an amazing kisser. So already I was like, you know, this is going really well. So we get into the bedroom. He's kind of, like, looking at my feet and sort of touching my feet. And I'm like, this guy doesn't. I'm not sure he really has a food fetish.

[Nikki Boyer]

Oh, yeah.

[Molly]

It was, like, disappointment.

[Nikki Boyer]

Well, when he's coming over and you're like, my feet are all ready for you.

[Molly]

My feet were ready. My feet were like, what's happening? But I was like, you know, I'm not really sure that there's the food fetish. And so he said, you know, we're lying there, and he said, you know, I have this crazy thing that I want to do. I've never done it before, but, like, I just. I feel safe enough with you to tell you that. I want a cheese.

[Nikki Boyer]

Okay.

[Molly]

Yeah. I want to drink you.

[Nikki Boyer]

I'm sorry, what?

[Molly]

Yes.

[Nikki Boyer]

What does that mean, like, pee play? Wait, what?

[Molly]

Yeah, you're in.

[Nikki Boyer]

You're invited. You're invited to my house for a pee party.

[Molly]

To my bathtub.

[Nikki Boyer]

So when he said, I want to drink you, did you know what he meant?

[Molly]

I did. Yeah, I did. And to me, I was like, all right, well, as long as it's not like, as long as I don't have to drink you, like, that's fine. Like, I don't care, you know?

[Nikki Boyer]

Oh, God.

[Molly]

Like, you know, sure. Okay.

[Nikki Boyer]

What do you do? What did you do?

[Molly]

So he hopped up, like, he'd quote, unquote, never done this before, and went into the bathroom and, like, was in the bathtub. Like, kind of took a time machine and was almost there before, like, he even showed up, you know? But anyway, so he was in the bathtub and he was on the, like, kneeling in the bathtub. And then I, like, straddled him.

[Nikki Boyer]

Okay.

[Molly]

Yeah. And. And then he was, you know, very. His mouth was very close. His mouth might have been on my parts, but I was like, you know, And I was like. And I wanted to be careful because I've never done this before. So I was like, you know, I'll just go a little tiny bit, and then if you like it and it's okay, then we can, like, continue. And he was like, okay, okay.

[Nikki Boyer]

You know, I'm getting that feeling in my mouth like, I want to puke. And I don't know, I'm trying to be judgmental, you know, I really don't want to be judgy, but this.

[Molly]

I do have a throw up bag in my bag from the hospital. You're welcome to take it.

[Nikki Boyer]

You travel with your own puke bag?

[Molly]

I do, yeah.

[Sponsor]

Okay.

[Molly]

But anyway, so, yeah.

[Nikki Boyer]

Did you have, like, stage fright? Because, you know when you're in a room with the bathroom, you're in the bathroom with somebody and you're like, I can't pee because you're standing. How did you pee in his mouth? I can't imagine this question.

[Molly]

It did take me a minute. I was like, I had to kind of like, you know, relax. It was like. It took me a minute to go because I was like, yeah, it's a different. Yeah.

[Nikki Boyer]

Oh, my God. I would throw. I don't. I don't know. I mean, it's not that big of a deal.

[Molly]

I mean, it's sterile. Who cares? And you're not. You're not drinking it. I mean, who gives a shit? So anyway, so I was like. And then you're kind of at the same Time sort of getting oral sex. So it's like, you know, it's fine.

[Nikki Boyer]

But, like, you let a little out, and then what happened?

[Molly]

So I let a little out, and then I stopped.

[Nikki Boyer]

I'm really trying not to be judgy. I'm not.

[Molly]

No, you're not. You're not. You're not trying. You're not trying. You don't have to. It's okay, though.

[Nikki Boyer]

I'm sweating. Who am I kidding? I was being judgy. I think a lot of people would consider peeing in someone else's face pretty gross. But Molly was curious and open. The opposite of judgy.

[Molly]

It's not a big deal. This is not my fetish, but it's not a big deal. I promise you. It's really not the big deal. Okay, so, all right.

[Nikki Boyer]

So you let it rip.

[Molly]

No, I didn't let it rip. I just. I did a little beep, and I was like, how was that? Are you okay? And he's like, mmm, that was better than tea. That was what he said. Oh, God. And I was like, well, do you. Do you want me to. Just then I said, do you want me to let it rip? And he was like, yes, that's better than tea. Better than tea. So, you know. So now you all know what my pee tastes like. Better than tea. I should sell it. Anyways, I'm now looking at my cup of tea here.

[Nikki Boyer]

Okay.

[Molly]

All right. So anyway, so then I did. I let it rip. And it went in his mouth, and he swallowed it, but it also went down his chin and his chest. And so I hopped out of the bathtub pretty quickly after that because I didn't want to be covered in pee. And I was like, you had standards. I do have standards. And I was like, hey, if you want to rinse off. And he's like, no, I want to leave here and have it all over me. And I was like, oh, I didn't know that was part of the thing, but okay, you know, like, so, okay, so he leaves, and we were supposed to see each other the next week, and then he kind of flaked out. And in the meantime, I realized, holy shit, I'm on, like, cancer drugs. I don't think I was on chemo at the time, but I was on cancer drugs. And I was like, did I just poison this poor guy? Like, I. You know, I was like. I was really. Got really anxious, and I was like.

[Nikki Boyer]

Did you tell him?

[Molly]

Well, no. So I was like, I was gonna see him the next week, and then I didn't And I was like, oh, my God, what if I. I don't wanna jeopardize this poor guy's health. I got careful later on, and when people wanted to drink pee, I had to have them drink their own because I was like, I didn't wanna share my. That's a whole nother. But anyway, so.

[Nikki Boyer]

So did you tell it? Did you warn him? What did you say?

[Molly]

I didn't. I was gonna wait until I saw him.

[Nikki Boyer]

Okay.

[Molly]

And in the meantime, for some reason, I was checking Instagram and I came across his Instagram and. Cause I was like, I was curious what he was up to, and there were like a whole bunch of pictures of him with his girlfriend.

[Nikki Boyer]

Oh. Oh.

[Molly]

And then I was like, oh, fuck that. I was like, forget about you.

[Nikki Boyer]

Oh, my God.

[Molly]

Yeah. But, you know, okay, so I did hear from him like, a year later after he and the girlfriend broke up.

[Nikki Boyer]

Oh, of course you did.

[Sponsor]

Hi, darling. It's been a while. Would you like a foot massage now?

[Tim]

Aw, that's very sweet, but what happened to you? You dropped off the face of the earth.

[Sponsor]

Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry for the miscommunication. Darling, are you free right now for me to come over and catch up? I'd really love to drink your pee as well. I've never had anyone do what you did with me in the shower. And I wanted again so bad, and.

[Molly]

He wanted to do the whole drinking with me thing again. And I confronted him and I was like. I mean, it seemed like you were kind of old hat at this bee thing. And he said it was so special.

[Sponsor]

And sexy to me. You're the only person I felt comfortable exploring that with, and I loved it.

[Molly]

No, you're the first person, the only person I've ever done that with. I just felt really comfortable with you. So. Ah, who knows, you know, I think I'm honored, but. I don't know.

[Nikki Boyer]

I mean, you're delicious. You taste like tea.

[Molly]

Better. Oh, you're better than tea. I'm better than tea.

[Nikki Boyer]

Oh, my God. Only you.

[Molly]

Yeah.

[Nikki Boyer]

So my favorite part of that story is that you did. You got nervous and what did you do?

[Molly]

No. So, okay, so when I did hear from him again, we planned to see each other again. Okay. And I was kind of excited. I was like, oh, this could be fun. Like, you know, doing this again, seeing him again, and. I don't know, different.

[Nikki Boyer]

Urinating all over you.

[Molly]

Why not? Yeah. So I went into my doctor and I talked to my physician's assistant, who she looks like she Was cast as a physician's assistant. I basically said, hey, there's this guy. And, like, he likes pee play. How safe is it for me on these drugs for him to drink my pee? And she was looking up like, she was like, well, most of the drug that you're on processes through your feces. About 3% processes through the urine. So then I was armed with information that I could give to him so he could make his own choice. And so we made plans, and I said, we gotta talk about something before we start. Oh, my God. And I think he thought I was gonna, like, not do it or something, so then kind of chickened out and didn't come over. Wow. Yeah.

[Nikki Boyer]

I would have loved to have been the fly on the wall to see you asking the nurse, but she didn't even. It didn't faze her.

[Molly]

No, not at all.

[Nikki Boyer]

I would have been phased. I mean, listen, I'm open. There's some kinky things that I. Like urine. No, I'm not feeling it. No.

[Molly]

Okay.

[Nikki Boyer]

That's okay. Like, I wet the bed as a kid. Okay. So immediately I'm like, I don't want to talk about this. Okay.

[Molly]

Okay.

[Nikki Boyer]

I pissed myself for, like, 12 years. Couldn't go to slumber parties.

[Molly]

Hated it. I don't.

[Nikki Boyer]

Where in the process does someone go urine and sex? Yeah, that's hot.

[Molly]

There's some. There's an. Well, sloppy sex is really big for a lot of people.

[Nikki Boyer]

What does that mean?

[Molly]

Like, messy sex. Like, a lot of, like, body fluids, so sweat and saliva, like, and pee kind of comes in with that. But there's also, like, look, I'm not into. I've never done any kind of, like, you know, fecal play. No.

[Nikki Boyer]

Okay. That's where we draw the line.

[Molly]

I wouldn't do that yet. No, no, I. But. But I do think. And again, I'm not a therapist, and I'm making this up, but I mean, like, I do think that there is an intimacy. There's an intimacy to accepting somebody inside of you. Even their waste. There is a.

[Nikki Boyer]

Definitely an intimacy. I'll move on because I'm gonna vomit.

[Molly]

Okay.

[Nikki Boyer]

I have a lot of mixed feelings around Molly's adventures. I wondered if she was getting lost in all of it. I get concerned for her safety, and I've had some moments of disgust, but those are my fears and my feelings, not hers. She was testing her own boundaries, learning to take control. She extended the invites. She said yes or no. Molly was comfortable exploring these corners of her own kinkiness. It made her feel alive. It's like each new experience made her more curious. What else was out there? What else could she try? Turns out there was plenty.

[Sponsor]

South of Midnight is a third person action adventure game set in a version of the American Deep south you've never seen before. When a hurricane rips through Prospero, Hazel is pulled into a magical Southern Gothic world where reality and fantasy are intertwined. Learn the ancient powers of a weaver and face mythical creatures inspired by real folklore. As you explore, explore a beautifully handcrafted world featuring a soundtrack inspired by the American South. Unravel the past in south of Midnight Play now on Xbox Series XS Game Pass ultimate and PC and Steam terms apply. See xbox.com subscription terms rated M for Mature.

[Nikki Boyer]

Give us your third installment.

[Molly]

Okay, so I met this guy on Bumble. His pictures were sort of blurry, but I could tell that he was kind of cute. Young guy, but I really couldn't tell what he looked like. And he said in his profile, I want to meet a girl who could really give me a kick where it hurts.

[Nikki Boyer]

Molly's walk on the wild side had led her into the uncharted territory of sexual fetishes. And once she started, there was no way she was turning back.

[Molly]

So I was intrigued. And we kind of, like, went back and forth. We talked on the phone a little bit. Smart guy. And he just wanted to come over, and I was like, you know what? Let's meet for coffee first. Cause I don't really know what your thing is, and let's just meet for coffee.

[Nikki Boyer]

You're like, I have standards, and I need to know what your thing is before we come. Before you come to my house?

[Molly]

Yeah. And he did tell me on the phone what the thing was, but I'm gonna wait to share what it was. So, anyway, so we meet for coffee. You know, he walks in in, like, kind of grubby sweatpants and things, but he's gorgeous. He looks like a movie star.

[Nikki Boyer]

Which one?

[Molly]

I can't tell you.

[Nikki Boyer]

No, come on.

[Molly]

No, I cannot tell you. But he does look. He looks, like, identical to a famous movie star.

[Nikki Boyer]

Like current day.

[Molly]

Mm.

[Nikki Boyer]

How old? 30s.

[Molly]

Well, he was in his late 20s, early 30s.

[Nikki Boyer]

Okay, but the movie started.

[Molly]

He looked like maybe older 30s.

[Nikki Boyer]

Molly knows this drives me crazy. Is it Jake Gyllenhaal? Ryan Reynolds. Both are strong contenders. Michael B. Jordan. No, no, he's too young. Brad Pitt. Ah. Super hot, but way past his 30s. Okay, comedy or drama?

[Sponsor]

Both.

[Nikki Boyer]

It could be Leonardo DiCaprio, but he's never done a comedy. Married or single?

[Molly]

That I won't tell you why. Because it's not fair.

[Nikki Boyer]

No. The movie star?

[Molly]

No.

[Nikki Boyer]

Because you don't want to. You think we're gonna track down this guy?

[Molly]

No, but I just, you know.

[Nikki Boyer]

Okay.

[Molly]

All right. I do think that the. It's because of the visual to be. I think it's, like, uncanny. Like, I think people would know. Cause he. I mean, it was like doppelganger village. Oh, yeah.

[Nikki Boyer]

Okay.

[Molly]

It was really like. Okay.

[Nikki Boyer]

Molly refused to tell me, but I think I know who it is. Rhymes with schmai and schmenolds. That's all I gotta say. All right, so you come over. He comes over.

[Molly]

He comes. Well, we have coffee first.

[Nikki Boyer]

Oh, okay.

[Molly]

And we get along and we're talking and everything, and. All right, I'll just. Should I tell you the thing? So basically, his thing is he likes to get kicked in the nuts really hard by a woman. That's his thing.

[Nikki Boyer]

How does that even work? How does that even happen?

[Molly]

Well, I did not know yet. And you will find out.

[Nikki Boyer]

So he tells you this?

[Molly]

Yeah, he told me on the phone. But, I mean. But I just was kind of holding on to it. But yeah.

[Nikki Boyer]

Never once were you like, that's not.

[Molly]

I was like, really? Let's do that. And he was like, yeah, there's certain ways to do it. And I was like, I want to teach me. Oh, my gosh. I'm homie. Yes, Sensei. I want to take you. And then us. So, yeah. So he came over to my house.

[Nikki Boyer]

Okay.

[Molly]

Like, after. Like after that. And we sat and we talked, and I was, like, asking him all these questions about the fetish. And, like, you know, how did this come about? And he kind of explained it a little bit. Doesn't matter. But anyway, so then we started, and. And he showed me, like, what part of my leg to use, what part of my foot to use. And, like, I would hold his arms and then just wait.

[Nikki Boyer]

Was he laying down? Was he standing?

[Molly]

Well, no, at first, he was standing.

[Nikki Boyer]

And he's just like. Just kick me in the nuts.

[Molly]

Yeah. What?

[Nikki Boyer]

That's so counterintuitive. Like, every movie you see, every little boy or teenage boy or grown man that you meet will say, that's the worst thing that could ever happen is when someone kicks you or knees you. Why guys wear cuffs when they play sports. So here this guy is like, welcome. Knee me in the nuts. And not only does he like it, but he sexually likes it.

[Molly]

Yes.

[Nikki Boyer]

This is baffling.

[Molly]

It was amazing, and it was really fun, actually. So I'M kicking him in the nuts over and over again, and he's like, you know, and he's actually gone to, like, pay people to do this, I think. Yeah, it was fantastic. And then at one point, he's on the ground and I'm stomping on them. And a couple times I think I went a little too hard, but it was okay. Like, it was fine. He was fine. And like, you know, and he was. He got a SEM. A semi during it. Oh, I don't know that I. I can't explain. You know, I gotta get a doctor.

[Nikki Boyer]

I need to ask a doctor.

[Molly]

I think there's something about female empowerment, about a woman taking control.

[Nikki Boyer]

Yeah, but I get that part. But, like, you're kicking someone in the nads and, like, from what I hear, it makes you want to, like, throw up. So how do you get an erection from something that's supposed to be so painful? I need to find out.

[Molly]

Well, obviously his brain pain center. The sex and, yeah, stimulate. I don't know, something in the brain somehow.

[Nikki Boyer]

Molly had become a bonafide ball buster. I'm picturing her practicing on Schmayen Schmenolds, doing these slow motion karate kicks like Uma Thurman and Kill Bill, Volume 1. I always liked that movie.

[Molly]

But anyway, so, yeah, so we did it for a while and. But he was a really cool guy. Like, I was like, you're like, I really liked him, and I enjoy kicking you in nuts. I would have done it again, but he was like, yeah, he just didn't really want to hang out again. Cause he compartmentalizes that part of his life.

[Nikki Boyer]

Oh, so you're just like, you're spanking.

[Molly]

I'm a one off. That's all it is.

[Nikki Boyer]

That's it.

[Molly]

So I think he probably went home and thought about it. And that was.

[Nikki Boyer]

So he didn't climax.

[Molly]

Not when he was there.

[Nikki Boyer]

But he used that thing to. Like, that's his personal porn he plays in his head when he goes home.

[Sponsor]

Yeah.

[Molly]

So it was half an hour of kicking him in the nuts, and then he was like, hey, later, Bye. I'm going out with my friends now.

[Nikki Boyer]

Wait, did you feel used and abused, or were you like, that was awesome.

[Molly]

No, I thought he said that, like, I was the first person who's been, like, giddy and. Because I would do it and I'd be like, ooh, how hard? Like, hard.

[Nikki Boyer]

Like, hard like the way you kick a soccer ball if you're trying to score a goal.

[Molly]

I'm a small person, okay? I Don't weigh a lot.

[Nikki Boyer]

Right.

[Molly]

I'm weak as hard as I could, so, you know, not. Yeah, it's like, not like a burly dude kicking someone in the nuts, but.

[Nikki Boyer]

It'S still a swift kick.

[Molly]

Yeah, it was really. No, he left and I was like, I think I sat on the couch like I was on a TV show and went, man, that was great. Like I was by myself. Oh my God, that was awesome.

[Nikki Boyer]

So he didn't want the worlds to merge. So you never heard from him again? No, I don't even remember his name. You don't?

[Molly]

No.

[Nikki Boyer]

This is what's interesting to me. These guys come to you?

[Molly]

Yeah.

[Nikki Boyer]

They have these fetishes and then there's just this knowledge that you're not going to out them, you're not going to say anything, you're not going to talk shit. Like. No, they just trust you and hope some of them are even in relationships in hopes that you're never going to out them. That's what's fascinating to me is that there's just this weird silence.

[Molly]

He and I even talked and I was like. And I said, you probably want to integrate this into your normal sex life because if this is your thing. No, I think he's got a lot of shame around it. You know, he just didn't. He didn't want to. But I mean, I did say, like, this could be problematic for you in the future.

[Nikki Boyer]

It's like Molly makes this sanctuary for guys, a safe space where they can reveal a secret part of themselves without being judged. They know Molly accepts them exactly as they are and that creates a bond of trust. What made this the best date of your life?

[Molly]

I mean, it wasn't the best date of my life.

[Nikki Boyer]

Yeah, it sounds like. It sounds like a movie.

[Molly]

It was pretty fucking great though.

[Nikki Boyer]

When does a guy ever say kick me in the nuts? Over and over again.

[Molly]

Exactly.

[Nikki Boyer]

I mean, did you get a lot of aggression out and anger?

[Molly]

I must have. I mean, I'm talking about it now and I'm like, woo.

[Nikki Boyer]

Right?

[Molly]

It was like, how do I explain it? It was like an amusement park built for me with one ride and that was the ride.

[Nikki Boyer]

And you just kept going on it?

[Molly]

Yeah. Over and over and it was like. Yeah. And there was no line and it was like, I'm gonna do that again. Wow, now I'm gonna do it again. How about now?

[Nikki Boyer]

So all while B stage 4 cancer. I mean, you're busy, you got things going on.

[Molly]

I do.

[Nikki Boyer]

You're taking care of your health, you're taking Care of who you are. You're also dealing with a foot fetish, urinating in people's mouths and kicking guys in the nuts.

[Molly]

Jealous?

[Nikki Boyer]

You are busy. How do you find the time?

[Molly]

I know, right? It's hard. Now I need to know what you're. You gotta share something with me because I've just shared three pretty out there stories.

[Nikki Boyer]

I don't have anything like that.

[Molly]

You do. You must not like that.

[Nikki Boyer]

No one has ever asked me to pee on them. No one has ever. I mean, I have cute feet. I have to say. I have good feet. But I don't know what I would do if there was a stranger who I didn't know that was asking me to do that. I'd be like, we gotta get to know each other first before you get to, like, use my feet. I feel, like, lame and boring and.

[Molly]

Somehow, like, have an experience sexually. I just don't think so.

[Nikki Boyer]

All right, well.

[Molly]

Yeah.

[Nikki Boyer]

I love you.

[Molly]

I love you too.

[Nikki Boyer]

Thanks for sharing.

[Molly]

Thank you.

[Nikki Boyer]

And I hope you're feeling okay.

[Molly]

Yeah.

[Nikki Boyer]

I hope your health is good because you need to keep. You need to keep these stories coming, lady.

[Molly]

Oh, man, this shit's exhausting. You know, being. Being bossy and domineering and all that stuff takes a lot of energy.

[Nikki Boyer]

Yeah.

[Molly]

Yeah.

[Nikki Boyer]

When you walk on the wild side, it's always a risk. There's an unknowing around what will happen and where you'll end up. Molly was about to face a turn that would spin her in a direction she never saw coming.

[Molly]

You know, there's always been part of me that's like, I'd like to find, like, somebody to invest in.

[Nikki Boyer]

But if Molly was going to find something deeper, she'd have to reveal something she hadn't yet told any of her men. Do you lie to these men?

[Molly]

I lied well. Yeah, I lied well. Cause what am I going to tell them? I have stage 4 cancer anyways.

[Nikki Boyer]

That's on the next episode of Dying for Sex. Wondry is teaming up with Medivivor, an incredible charity that gives 100% of donations to metastatic breast cancer research. Join us by clicking the link in our show notes to learn more from Wondery. This is episode 3 of 6 of Dying for Sex, a story about what you do with the time you have left. If you'd like to help us spread the word, please give us a five star review and tell your friends to subscribe. We're available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Castbox, and every major listening app, as well as wondery.com if you're listening on a smartphone. Tap or swipe over the COVID art of this podcast. You'll find the episode notes and some offers from our sponsors. When you support our sponsors, you help us bring you our shows for free. Can't wait for more Dying for Sex well, you can listen to ad free right now on Wondry. For a limited time we are offering a free week of Wondry Plus. All you have to do is go to Wondery FM DFS DyingForSex get it plus so that's Wondery FM DFSPlus. You can also find the link in the episode notes. This podcast was hosted by me, Nikki Boyer, Corey Moss and Brad Godfrid of Bold Soul Studios produced the podcast recordings. This episode was written by Laura Donna Palavota and produced by Janine Cornello. Our Production coordinator is Britton Perlman, sound design by James Morgan, audio assistance by Sergio Enriquez and Marcelino Villalpando. Executive producers are myself, Stephanie Jens Marshall, Louis and Hernan Lopez. For Wondery, follow Dying for Sex on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes early and ad free right now on Wondri. Start your free trial of Wondry plus in the Wondry App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Before you go, tell us about [e-mail].

[Lindsey Graham]

Survey in 1976, a Georgia native, Navy veteran and peanut farmer named Jimmy Carter won his bid for the presidency. What Carter didn't know then was that the next four years would be the most difficult he could ever imagine. Hi, I'm Lindsey Graham, the host of Wondery's podcast, American Historytellers. We take you to the events, times and people that shaped America and Americans, our values, our struggles and our dreams. In our latest series, we explore Jimmy Carter's time in the White House, from his unexpected presidential victory as an outsider vowing to clean up Washington to his remarkable diplomatic breakthroughs and legislative accomplishments on energy, education and the environment. But Carter also faced crushing challenges as he worked to lead the country through energy shortages, sky high inflation and the Iran hostage crisis. Follow American historytellers on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Experience all episodes ad free and be the first to binge the newest season only on Wondery. Join Wondery in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Start your free trial today.