Dying For Sex: Episode 2 - Adventures in Dating

Host: Nikki Boyer
Author: Wondery
Release Date: February 12, 2020

Overview

In the second episode of Wondery's compelling series Dying For Sex, Nikki Boyer delves deeper into the vibrant and tumultuous dating life of her best friend, Molly, a 44-year-old woman grappling with a stage IV breast cancer diagnosis. This episode, titled "Adventures in Dating," explores Molly's bold decision to reinvigorate her life through a series of sexual escapades following her terminal diagnosis. As the episode unfolds, listeners are treated to a candid and humorous recounting of Molly's attempts to reconnect with her sexuality, culminating in a particularly memorable encounter with a man they refer to as "Scott" or the "Toyota Guy."

1. Embracing Sexuality Amidst Adversity

Timestamp: [00:00] – [07:06]

The episode opens with Molly and Nikki sharing a lighthearted moment about Molly's foray into sexting and provocative selfies. Molly explains her motivations:

"I wanted sort of that instant gratification of somebody to be like, ah, ah, ah, ah."
– Molly [00:22]

Nikki highlights the dramatic shift in Molly's lifestyle post-diagnosis, noting her transition from simple men's boxers to an expansive lingerie collection:

"Old Molly was into men's boxers. New Molly had to buy an extra dresser just for bras and panties."
– Nikki Boyer [00:35]

This transformation serves as a coping mechanism for Molly, enabling her to assert control and reclaim her sense of self in the face of her illness.

2. The Highs and Lows of Online Flirting

Timestamp: [08:15] – [15:19]

Molly discusses her strategic use of Tinder and Bumble, crafting the perfect profiles to attract potential partners. She acknowledges the duality of her texts—alternating between health updates and overtly sexual messages—with Nikki humorously pointing out the stark contrast:

"There's either a text about how sick you are... or it's a complete opposite type of text, which is totally sexual."
– Nikki Boyer [02:38]

Molly reminisces about her early dates, sharing anecdotes that blend humor with vulnerability. Her first real date involves spending an hour at a dive bar where she grapples with a couple she deems unworthy of her time, leading her to seek more private encounters.

3. The Memorable Night at The Local Peasant

Timestamp: [18:18] – [44:59]

One of the standout moments in this episode is Molly's encounter with Scott, known as the "Toyota Guy." Their first date at The Local Peasant—a neighborhood pub—sets the stage for an unforgettable experience. Molly describes their chemistry and the gradual progression from casual conversation to intimate moments inside Scott's car.

During the recounting, Nikki captures the humor and awkwardness of the situation:

"It was one of the most embarrassing moments of his sexual life."
– Nikki Boyer [39:23]

Molly narrates the climax of their date, where an unintended ejaculation occurs on the manicured lawn outside Scott's car as the car alarm blares:

"So what you say after that? I've never seen anybody open a car door and jizz."
– Nikki Boyer [23:18]

Scott's detailed and candid retelling adds depth to the story, highlighting the mutual embarrassment yet underlying fondness they share for the incident. Their interaction underscores the complexities of dating under extraordinary circumstances and the importance of humor in navigating such experiences.

4. A Candid Conversation with Scott

Timestamp: [25:00] – [44:59]

Nikki initiates a phone call with Scott to gain his perspective on the infamous date. The conversation reveals Scott's own reflections and the impact of the event on his life. Scott candidly admits:

"I don't like it when people say. It's like, I'm sorry for things. It's just like, I'm sorry because. What does that mean?"
– Scott [42:00]

He elaborates on the awkward aftermath of the incident and his chivalrous gesture to drive Molly home despite the discomfort:

"I ended up driving her to her apartment... it's the least I can do."
– Scott [37:09]

Scott's openness and willingness to share his side of the story provide a balanced view of Molly's dating adventures, emphasizing mutual respect and the unpredictable nature of human connections.

5. Reflections on Memory and Emotion

Timestamp: [39:00] – [43:58]

Both Molly and Scott reflect on how the story has endured over time, becoming a legendary tale among their friends. Nikki muses on the mythic quality of their shared memory:

"It's amazing how some stories live on long past the actual event, how they morph over time, take on a life of their own."
– Nikki Boyer [39:48]

They discuss the emotional undertones of their experiences, recognizing that while the story is humorous, it also serves as a poignant reminder of the fragility of life and the importance of cherishing meaningful moments.

6. Moving Forward with Humor and Resilience

Timestamp: [44:00] – [45:18]

As the episode wraps up, Molly hints at future dating adventures, maintaining her characteristic blend of humor and resilience:

"I met this guy on Bumble. Basically, his thing is he likes to get kicked in the nuts really hard by a woman."
– Molly [45:27]

Nikki emphasizes the ongoing nature of Molly's journey, highlighting the balance between embracing pleasure and confronting mortality. The episode concludes with a teaser for future episodes, promising more stories that explore the intersection of love, sex, and the human spirit in the face of terminal illness.

Key Themes and Insights

1. Reclaiming Sexuality: Molly's proactive approach to her sexuality serves as a powerful tool for empowerment and self-expression amidst her battle with cancer.

2. Humor as Coping Mechanism: Both Molly and Scott utilize humor to navigate the awkwardness and emotional complexity of their experiences, highlighting its therapeutic value.

3. Memory and Storytelling: The enduring nature of Molly and Scott's shared story underscores the significance of storytelling in preserving and processing personal histories.

4. Human Connection: The episode emphasizes the importance of authentic connections and mutual respect, even in fleeting encounters.

Notable Quotes

• Molly [00:22]: "I wanted sort of that instant gratification of somebody to be like, ah, ah, ah, ah."

• Nikki Boyer [02:38]: "There's either a text about how sick you are... or it's a complete opposite type of text, which is totally sexual."

• Scott [42:00]: "It's just you can say, I'm sorry, but what are you sorry for?"

• Nikki Boyer [39:48]: "It's amazing how some stories live on long past the actual event, how they morph over time, take on a life of their own."

Conclusion

Episode 2 of Dying For Sex masterfully balances humor and poignancy, offering a nuanced exploration of Molly's quest to feel alive through intimate connections despite her terminal illness. Through candid storytelling and insightful conversations, Nikki Boyer sheds light on the resilience of the human spirit and the profound impact of genuine relationships. This episode not only entertains but also prompts listeners to reflect on their own lives, relationships, and the ways in which they navigate the complexities of love and loss.