Ear Hustle: Last Memory: Linda

Episode Overview

In this poignant episode of Ear Hustle, hosts Nigel Poor and Earlonne Woods delve into the profound story of Linda, a long-term inmate at the California Institution for Women (CIW). Titled "Last Memory: Linda," the episode explores Linda’s final moments before her incarceration, her enduring memories, and the emotional journey the hosts undertake to connect with her past.

Linda’s Final Moments and Last Memory

The episode opens with Linda sharing her vivid last memory before her arrest. She recounts a rainy Monday night at Mission San Luis Rey outside San Diego, where she attended a Catholic mass with her mother.

• Atmospheric Details: Linda vividly describes the sensory experiences of that night:

  • "It smelled like earth. It smelled like old straw hats that have been out in the sun too long. It smelled like leather that's been tanned in cowhide..." [01:08]
  • These descriptions set a nostalgic and melancholic tone, emphasizing the deep connection Linda feels to that memory.

• Emotional Interaction with Her Mother: Linda details the intimate yet strained interaction with her mother during the mass:

  • "My mother slides in next to me, and she connected to my shoulder... sometimes I would find my mother annoying, she'd move in closer, and then I would have to scrunch..." [02:44]
  • This dynamic illustrates the complex emotions Linda grapples with, balancing her love for her mother with personal frustrations.

• Moment of Crisis: As the mass progresses, Linda experiences an internal conflict between her ingrained religious beliefs and her impending actions:

  • "At some point, I stopped. The next time the priest says to kneel, I'm not doing that... I remember the singing was vibrating off the walls... I wasn't ready for that." [05:26]
  • This moment marks a turning point, highlighting Linda's struggle with faith and the choices that led to her incarceration.

The Chapel Visit: A Journey to Linda’s Memory

Moved by Linda’s story, Nigel and Earlonne decide to visit Mission San Luis Rey to experience the chapel where Linda's last memory took place.

• Sensory Reflection: Upon entering the chapel, Nigel reflects on how closely the environment matches Linda’s descriptions:

  • "It has that musty smell... it feels like a safe smell... the color of soil, but slightly damp." [14:44]
  • These observations underscore the authenticity of Linda's memory and the chapel's preserved state.

• Shared Experience: The hosts sit in the pews, engaging in a meditative moment reminiscent of Linda’s account.

  • "We spent a while just smelling the smells... It felt preserved, but in a really... it's just a place that's used for what it is." [25:24]
  • This shared experience creates a tangible connection between the hosts and Linda’s past, deepening the episode's emotional impact.

Lighting the Candle: A Symbolic Gesture

Fulfilling Linda’s request, Nigel and Earlonne proceed to light a candle in the chapel as a tribute to Linda and her journey.

• Significance of the Candle: Nigel explains the symbolism behind lighting a candle:

  • "When you light a candle, you're saying a prayer for somebody... it's a meditative and connective moment." [18:43]
  • This act serves as a gesture of remembrance and hope, bridging the gap between Linda's past and her present.

• Personal Reflections: Both hosts share personal reasons for lighting their candles, adding depth to the ritual.

  • Earlonne lights a candle for a friend in the hospital, while Nigel dedicates his candle to Linda, acknowledging her struggles and seeking solace in the act.

• Interaction with Father Lalo: After lighting the candles, the hosts encounter Father Lalo, the chapel's pastor, who offers a blessing and shares his perspective on Linda’s situation:

  • "God has created us with free will... He still loves you." [33:24]
  • Father Lalo’s insights provide a spiritual dimension to the episode, emphasizing themes of forgiveness and divine love.

Emotional Closure and Reflections

Linda reflects on the significance of her memories and the chapel's unchanged state, finding comfort in the idea that some aspects of her past remain constant despite her long-term incarceration.

• Enduring Memories: Linda expresses the emotional weight of returning to a place that embodies her past:

  • "I'm realizing in my heart, like, I'm okay, because there's always something to go back to." [27:18]
  • This revelation highlights the enduring nature of personal memories and their role in resilience.

• Impact of the Visit: The hosts convey the profound effect of their visit on Linda, reinforcing the episode's central themes of connection, memory, and redemption.

  • "I think this person... would be angered and just oppose that... But I'm okay with that." [29:56]
  • Linda’s acceptance of her circumstances and her focus on transformation encapsulate her journey towards personal growth.

Conclusion and Future Directions

As the episode concludes, Nigel and Earlonne share updates on their personal lives and future plans for the show, maintaining the authentic and relatable tone that Ear Hustle is known for.

• Hosts’ Personal News:

  • Earlonne announces his official pardon by Governor Gavin Newsom and the birth of his twins, bringing a celebratory tone to the episode.
  • "I have been officially pardoned... I'm the father of some new twins, a boy and a girl." [37:11]

• Upcoming Projects: The hosts tease future episodes and live tours, ensuring listeners stay engaged and look forward to more compelling stories.

  • "We are getting ready for another live tour... spending more time in New York cooking up a season of episodes about life in juvenile detention centers." [38:50]

• Final Thoughts: Linda shares a heartfelt message about her path forward and the importance of symbolic gestures in her journey.

  • "I can only go forward. And part of going forward is continuing in a transformation of who I was and who I continue to become." [29:56]

Notable Quotes:

• "It smelled like earth. It smelled like old straw hats that have been out in the sun too long..." — Linda [01:08]

• "Sometimes I could smell even though she was in her 50s. Sometimes I could smell the scent of almost her breast milk." — Linda [02:46]

• "When you light a candle, you're saying a prayer for somebody. It can be for anyone." — Nigel Poor [18:43]

• "God has created us with free will... He still loves you." — Father Lalo [33:24]

• "I can only go forward. And part of going forward is continuing in a transformation of who I was and who I continue to become." — Linda [29:56]

Conclusion

"Last Memory: Linda" offers a deeply moving exploration of memory, faith, and the human capacity for change. Through Linda's heartfelt recollections and the hosts' empathetic interactions, the episode sheds light on the personal struggles faced by those incarcerated and the enduring bonds that keep them connected to their past. Ear Hustle continues to provide a raw and honest portrayal of prison life, inviting listeners to reflect on the complexities of redemption and the power of shared human experiences.