Ear Hustle – “My Favorite Color” (April 1, 2026)

Podcast Summary

Episode Overview

In this deeply moving episode, Ear Hustle explores the decades-long estrangement between D’Monica, a woman incarcerated at the California Institution for Women, and her father Ula (aka Damon), who is serving a life sentence at San Quentin. The episode traces their journeys—both individually and shared—through trauma, loss, choices, and eventual reconnection orchestrated by the Ear Hustle team. Centering on a groundbreaking video call between incarcerated family members, the episode offers a rare, raw, and hopeful look at how prison can sever family ties—and the painstaking work required to try to restore them.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introductions & Family Background

• D’Monica’s Life and Her Father’s Absence

  • D’Monica, now 30, has not seen her father in person for over 20 years due to incarceration.
  • Remembers witnessing police raids as a toddler; gang presence and parental absence normalized chaos.
  • “I cry. I sit to myself and I cry over my dad.” – D’Monica [02:14]
  • Her father, Ula/Damon, was a well-known figure in their community due to his gang activity and charisma.

• Father-Daughter Parallels and Patterns

  • Both D’Monica and Ula were drawn into “the life” from a young age, influenced by intergenerational crime, trauma, and community reputation.
  • D’Monica sought closeness to her father by emulating his path, even joining his gang:
    • “I would have risked it all just to be like my dad. Because I didn’t get a life with my dad.” – D’Monica [12:31]
  • Ula acknowledges the painful irony: “You being there is a result of me being a bad father and being neglectful.” – Ula [32:46]

2. Estrangement, Communication Barriers, and Misunderstandings

• Barriers to Contact

  • Incarcerated individuals cannot communicate with each other by phone; gang affiliation further restricts letter-writing.
  • Both missed years of potential connection due to family challenges, state custody, and bureaucracy.
  • D’Monica: “It was more so like he got put on a shelf.” [08:39]

• Misconceptions and Wishes

  • D’Monica thought her father would celebrate her toughness and criminal notoriety; in reality, he feared she’d follow his path:
    • “All my life, I’m thinking that he would glorify my actions and not be too concerned.” – D’Monica [14:33]
    • “He was more concerned about you getting life... not glorifying it.” – Earlonne [13:24]
  • D’Monica’s deepest wish: get to know her dad through simple, everyday conversation (“Simple things, like my favorite color or what I like to eat.” [21:26]).

3. Making the Video Call Happen—Behind the Scenes

• Unprecedented Logistics

  • Ear Hustle’s editorial team spends almost a year navigating California’s prison bureaucracy to arrange a sanctioned video call.
  • Multiple wardens, PIOs, and prison staff had to break precedent for this father-daughter call:
    • “As far as we know, this was the first time that an incarcerated father and daughter were able to get on a call like this.” – Earlonne [28:20]
  • Three Ps: “patience, politeness and persistence” [20:02]—the key to making the impossible happen.

• High-Stakes Emotion

  • Neither Ula nor D’Monica fully believed the call would happen until moments before.
  • The anticipation was overwhelming:
    • “I haven’t been able to sleep or eat for two days.” – D’Monica [26:52]
    • “I’m a ball of emotions right now.” – Ula [27:49]

4. The Video Call—A Historic Reunion ([31:05] onward)

• Awkward Beginnings Give Way to Authentic Connection

  • Both are deeply nervous, surrounded by staff and the podcast team, but quickly move to honest, vulnerable exchanges.
  • Ula immediately tries to open the floor:
    • “Ask me whatever you want to ask me. …I know that you being there is a result of me being a bad father.” – Ula [32:29]

• Long-Awaited Questions and Answers

  • D’Monica finally gets to share who she is:
    • “I like protein, but I keep getting buff. I look like a linebacker right now, but I like chicken and cheese. I love cheese.” [36:07]
    • “Pink. I love pink.” (on her favorite color) [37:06]
    • “I love music. I love cooking. I spend most of my days in my room chilling. I love school.” [37:07]

• Reflection on Choices, Love, and Identity

  • D’Monica unpacks loyalty, survival, and misunderstanding love:
    • “Every time I fight, I get this praise. …That’s not love. That’s people that really don’t care for me. …That’s how my flower got watered...” [34:12]
  • Ula expresses ongoing remorse and longing:
    • “I think about that constantly, like how you used to look at me… I want to know what you’re into.” [33:57, 35:51]

• Shared Imagining of the Future

  • D’Monica: “If you could spend a day with me outside of prison, what would we do?”
  • Ula: “I would spend probably [the] majority of that time just listening to you.” [37:33]
  • Both reminisce about going to the beach; D’Monica still goes there (in her mind) for comfort.

5. After the Call—Impact and Legacy

• Emotional Fallout and New Possibilities

  • Deep catharsis for all involved, including Ear Hustle’s hosts:
    • “I was teary eyed for real because it was so emotional... he was trying his best to get what, 20-something years of conversation into this one hour.” – Earlonne [39:13]
  • The call allowed Ula and D’Monica to subsequently get written communication approved by the state, a major milestone.

• Ripple Effects

  • The episode’s efforts inspired hope among other incarcerated people disconnected from loved ones.
    • “Everybody on the yard is more inspired that this could happen to them...” – Earlonne [41:29]
  • Ear Hustle underscores the power of persistence for small, deeply personal victories within massive systems.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• “I would have risked it all just to be like my dad. Because I didn’t get a life with my dad.” – D’Monica [12:31]
• “It's shocking to me that someone expressed that they cared about my life if I was to get a life sentence. That's foreign... It's a weird feeling. It's a good feeling, but it's a weird feeling.” – D’Monica [14:09]
• “Ask me whatever you want to ask me. ...Because I know that you being there is a result of me being a bad father and being neglectful.” – Ula [32:29]
• “I just felt like I had nobody to protect me but me.” – D’Monica [34:18]
• “Now you can communicate.” – Earlonne (on the achievement of approved letter-writing) [40:48]
• “It talks about the importance of making something happen for two people, and that’s huge... Spending a year making something really special happen for two people matters deeply.” – Nigel [41:09]
• “Here's to us continuing to try to open the door of communication in any way that we can.” – Nigel [41:49]

Key Segments & Timestamps

| Time | Segment/Topic | |------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:14 | D’Monica introduction—childhood recollection, emotional opening | | 06:07 | Father’s arrest and the impact on D’Monica | | 09:46 | Hearing about her dad through street reputation | | 12:31 | D’Monica describes following his footsteps, desire for connection | | 13:42 | Consequences of poor communication—wish things had been different | | 14:09 | D’Monica’s surprise at her father’s love and concern | | 16:41 | Barriers to communication—prison rules, logistics | | 17:18–20:02| Ear Hustle team describes efforts, setbacks, breakthroughs | | 21:26 | D’Monica’s hopes for simple, human questions | | 26:52 | Pre-video call nerves and anticipation | | 28:20 | The historic significance of the planned call | | 31:03 | The video call begins—first words, awkwardness breaks | | 32:29 | Candid conversation: guilt, forgiveness, healing | | 36:07 | Favorite color, foods—getting to know each other again | | 38:33 | Call conclusion: “I love you”s and hope for more contact | | 39:13 | Host reactions and reflections on the experience | | 41:29 | Impact on prison community; inspiration for others |

Tone & Language

• Candid, intimate, and emotionally charged, all the way from hesitant, joking banter to moments of tearful honesty.
• Ear Hustle’s trademark blend of empathy, hard truth, gallows humor, and hope underlines each exchange.

Episode Takeaway

“My Favorite Color” is a testament to Ear Hustle’s ability to transform personal storytelling into meaningful action. By overcoming bureaucratic and cultural barriers, the team gives a father and daughter space to rediscover each other—demonstrating how even small moments of connection, hard-won, can echo with healing throughout families and entire incarcerated communities. The episode’s emotional resonance arises from the honesty and vulnerability of its participants, as well as the determination of those who fight to restore channels of love in the most unlikely settings.