Super Fun Birthday Story

Summary

Ear Hustle: Super Fun Birthday Story – Detailed Summary

Released on March 19, 2025

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Introduction: Celebrating Life Behind Bars

In the episode titled "Super Fun Birthday Story," hosts Nigel Poor and Earlonne Woods delve into the nuanced and often poignant experiences of celebrating birthdays within the prison system. The episode explores how inmates perceive and commemorate their birthdays, offering a window into their personal lives, struggles, and the sense of community they build behind bars.

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Tom Nguyen: The Reluctant Celebrant

[04:10] Earlonne Woods introduces Tom Nguyen, affectionately nicknamed the "Asian John B.," a member of the Ear Hustle team at San Quentin. Tom shares his disinterest in celebrating birthdays, attributing it to his tumultuous childhood and the instability he faced early on.

• Tom Nguyen: "Since I was young, I just don't celebrate my birthday. It's like any normal day for me." [05:10]

He reflects on his early memories, revealing a deep sense of abandonment and survival that overshadowed any sense of celebration.

• Tom Nguyen: "What did you say to them after you got that?" [16:04]

Despite his detached stance, Tom acknowledges the significance of surviving another year.

• Tom Nguyen: "It's just a regular day for me." [09:19]

Tom's story underscores the complex relationship inmates have with personal milestones, shaped by past traumas and current realities.

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Donnell: The Value of Camaraderie

Next, Donnell shares his experience with birthday cards received from fellow inmates, highlighting the importance of brotherhood within the prison walls.

• Donnell: "I had about, like, maybe five or six friends that actually signed it. So when I seen it, I started smiling." [11:41]

He contrasts the meaningful connections he forms inside with the superficial gestures from family members.

• Donnell: "How much you know the people I was incarcerated cares about me basically more than my family." [13:36]

Donnell’s narrative emphasizes how chosen families within prison can often provide the emotional support lacking from biological families.

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Otilia Pineda: A Mother's Limited Affection

Otilia Pineda, incarcerated at the Central California Women's Facility, recounts receiving a Mother's Day card on her birthday from her mother, which symbolizes the limited and conflicted ways her family reaches out.

• Otilia Pineda: "She sent me a Mother's Day card on my birthday, and it says, especially for you on Mother's Day." [17:07]

The translation reveals a heartfelt yet constrained attempt by her mother to express love, reflecting the complexities of maintaining familial relationships from afar.

• Otilia Pineda: "This is the only card my mother has sent me during my almost 11 years incarcerated." [17:39]

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Misty Mangoni: Embracing Celebration

Contrasting previous stories, Misty Mangoni from the California Institution for Women passionately discusses her appreciation for birthday celebrations, illustrating a vibrant sense of optimism despite her long-term incarceration.

• Misty Mangoni: "Birthdays are super important to Misty, and I got the sense that she really enjoys being celebrated." [19:29]

She shares heartwarming details of elaborate surprise decorations and thoughtful themes that bring joy and a sense of normalcy to her life.

• Chloe Veltman: "I've had skulls. I had a Marilyn Manson one one time. I've had rainbows, unicorns." [20:29]

Misty’s enthusiasm underscores how celebrations can foster a supportive and uplifting community within the prison environment.

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Jason Jenkins: From Celebration to Survival

Jason Jenkins provides a stark contrast by sharing his turning point during his 28th birthday, which transformed his outlook on life and led him to sobriety.

• Jason Jenkins: "May 5, 2012, is when I gave my life over to Christ. And now I could say I'm 13 years sober. After that, bro, I stopped celebrating birthdays." [26:29]

His harrowing experience with substance abuse and a near-death incident illustrate how personal crises can lead to profound life changes, impacting his relationship with celebratory milestones like birthdays.

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Pierre: Humor Amidst Struggle

In a lighter yet telling story, Pierre recounts receiving a humorous yet inappropriate birthday card filled with a pop-up boner, reflecting the unique ways inmates express camaraderie and handle humor in restrictive environments.

• Pierre: "I ripped off the boner and the pubic hair." [16:16]

This anecdote highlights the blend of humor and boundaries that shape interactions among inmates, providing moments of levity in a challenging setting.

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Sky: The Complexities of Aging in Prison

Sky, incarcerated at the California Institution for Women, offers a deep and introspective look at celebrating birthdays as she approaches her 70th year. Her narrative reveals feelings of isolation and the longing for genuine connections.

• Sky: "I wish I was still younger. I wish I was just born. Yeah. I'd go through all the struggles. I wouldn't be here. I'd be a whole different person." [39:35]

Sky discusses her plans for her birthday in prison, which include simple pleasures like making a bagel, and expresses discomfort with the attention that comes with celebrations.

• Sky: "I think it's too much stress. You know, you're trying to do things that you need to get done for yourself. And they're opening the door, happy birthday." [34:34]

Her story encapsulates the emotional and psychological challenges of aging within the prison system, highlighting a shift from viewing prison as home to yearning for a life beyond bars.

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Chloe Veltman: Struggling with Connection

Chloe Veltman shares her struggles with maintaining connections with her daughter, compounded by her inability to consistently send birthday cards.

• Chloe Veltman: "Towards the end of, like, my, like, getting high and stuff, I had ran across some letters that she had wrote me. And I read them and I felt so bad." [21:30]

Her narrative touches on themes of regret, the impact of addiction, and the challenges of reconnecting with loved ones, illustrating the broader emotional toll of incarceration.

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Creating the Ear Hustle Birthday Song

Towards the episode's conclusion, Nigel and Earlonne engage with Sky to celebrate her upcoming birthday, culminating in the creation and premiere of the Ear Hustle Birthday Song.

• Nigel Poor: "Happy, happy birthday Today is your birthday." [41:22]

This collaborative effort not only serves as a personalized tribute but also symbolizes the show's commitment to fostering a sense of community and celebration among inmates.

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Conclusion: The Duality of Celebration in Prison

"Super Fun Birthday Story" masterfully intertwines individual narratives to paint a multifaceted picture of how birthdays are experienced in prison. From reluctance and isolation to celebration and camaraderie, the episode underscores the profound emotional landscapes navigated by incarcerated individuals. Through heartfelt stories and creative expressions like their own birthday song, Ear Hustle illuminates the resilience and humanity of those behind bars.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Tom Nguyen: "Since I was young, I just don't celebrate my birthday." [05:10]

• Donnell: "I had about, like, maybe five or six friends that actually signed it. So when I seen it, I started smiling." [11:41]

• Otilia Pineda: "She sent me a Mother's Day card on my birthday." [17:07]

• Misty Mangoni: "Birthdays are super important to Misty." [19:29]

• Jason Jenkins: "May 5, 2012, is when I gave my life over to Christ." [26:29]

• Sky: "I wish I was still younger. I wish I was just born." [39:35]

• Pierre: "I ripped off the boner and the pubic hair." [16:16]

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Final Thoughts

This episode of Ear Hustle offers a profound exploration of personal milestones within the prison system, revealing how inmates navigate their identities, relationships, and moments of celebration amidst confinement. By sharing these intimate stories, Nigel Poor and Earlonne Woods provide listeners with a deeper understanding of the human spirit's capacity to find meaning and connection, even in the most restrictive environments.

For more insights and stories from Ear Hustle, visit earhustlesq.com and join their community through Radiotopia.

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This summary is intended to provide an overview of the "Super Fun Birthday Story" episode of Ear Hustle. For the full experience, listening to the episode is highly recommended.

Transcript

[Nigel Poor]

I'm David Remnick, host of the New Yorker Radio Hour. There's nothing like finding a story you can really sink into that lets you tune out the noise and focus on what matters in print or here on the podcast. The New Yorker brings you thoughtfulness and depth and even humor that you can't find anywhere else. So please join me every week for the New Yorker Radio Hour. Wherever you listen to podcasts. This episode of Ear Hustle is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

[Earlonne Woods]

You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart choice. Make another smart choice with Auto Quote Explorer to compare rates from multiple car insurance companies all at once. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy.

[Nigel Poor]

Hello.

[Chloe Veltman]

My name's Chloe Veltman. I am a correspondent on NPR's culture desk, and I am based in San Francisco. I'm currently doing an elbow plank for two and a half minutes with my friends from the Ear Hustle team. This is something we do several times a week. It gives us courage. The following episode of Ear Hustle contains language and content that may not be appropriate for all listeners. Discretion is advised.

[Nigel Poor]

I heard you're Sadiq's white daddy. Or are you his white dad? Because those are two different things.

[Jason Jenkins]

Yes, it would be white, white father.

[Nigel Poor]

So the other day, Siddiq brought his friend Kevin down to the media lab. He's this older guy, and they have kind of an interesting relationship.

[Jason Jenkins]

I'm like, if my parent came to come pick me up, you would be the type that I'll feel embarrassed around because he's, like, super energetic. He'd jump out of the car, try to greet you. He's one of those dads.

[Nigel Poor]

Wait, he would embarrass me?

[Jason Jenkins]

He would embarrass me? Yes. That's the type of dad. And it does happen a lot. He embarrassed me everywhere we go. This right here, he's just, like, always happy and just jumping out of nowhere.

[Earlonne Woods]

And just clowning all the time.

[Jason Jenkins]

That's all.

[Nigel Poor]

Do you know your son's birthday over here?

[Jason Jenkins]

I do. It's July20. I want to say 24th or 27th.

[Earlonne Woods]

I have to look on the calendar to be positive.

[Jason Jenkins]

How do you know this? Because you're important to me. I remember I shared with Siddiq that it was my birthday. It's something I don't usually do, but I've gotten real close with Siddiq and he doesn't try to hurt me. I trust him all and that's A big deal for me.

[Earlonne Woods]

I really care about him.

[Jason Jenkins]

He's a great young man. He's important to me in my life. So that's important.

[Nigel Poor]

Okay. When is his birthday?

[Earlonne Woods]

I better know that.

[Jason Jenkins]

It's January 7th.

[Earlonne Woods]

Yes. So, Nigel, when's my birthday?

[Nigel Poor]

I know when your birthday is. It's August 13th.

[Earlonne Woods]

What?

[Nigel Poor]

What?

[Earlonne Woods]

You just look it up?

[Nigel Poor]

No, you're important to me. I know your birthday. Okay, what's mine?

[Earlonne Woods]

Yours is June 21st.

[Nigel Poor]

That's right. That's right.

[Earlonne Woods]

And that's what we're talking about on the show today.

[Nigel Poor]

Birthdays or anniversary of life, as you like to say.

[Earlonne Woods]

Yes.

[Nigel Poor]

I'm Nigel Poor.

[Earlonne Woods]

And I'm Earlonne woods. And this is ear hustle from PRX's Radiotopia.

[Tom Nguyen]

Okay. Yep. Go ahead.

[Nigel Poor]

When you. All right. You know the drill. We ask you anything, you say, pass.

[Tom Nguyen]

Yeah, I'm easy.

[Nigel Poor]

Okay. All right. We'll see what happens here.

[Tom Nguyen]

Okay.

[Nigel Poor]

Okay.

[Earlonne Woods]

So, I mean, there's a few ways we can describe Tom.

[Nigel Poor]

Give me your way.

[Earlonne Woods]

The way I was introduced to him is, like, legendary. So he's the Asian John B.

[Nigel Poor]

Exactly. He's been referred to that way many times. Another way we can express who he is is he's a member of the Ear Hustle team down in the media lab inside San Quentin.

[Earlonne Woods]

That's a lot easier.

[Nigel Poor]

Yeah, kind of like the Asian John.

[Earlonne Woods]

D. And the crazy thing is, the whole idea for this episode came out of something that Tom, the Asian John B. Said one day, kind of like offhand when we were just down in the media lab chilling.

[Nigel Poor]

I heard that you just liked your birthday to pass without any acknowledgement. Is that true?

[Tom Nguyen]

Yeah, like, since I was young, I just don't celebrate my birthday.

[Nigel Poor]

How old are you now?

[Tom Nguyen]

I'm 44.

[Nigel Poor]

44. And you basically have no birthday memories?

[Tom Nguyen]

Yeah, I just don't celebrate it. I don't even think about my birthday.

[Nigel Poor]

When is your birthday?

[Tom Nguyen]

It's June 17, 1980.

[Nigel Poor]

Okay, so what do you do on that day?

[Tom Nguyen]

For me, I just. It's like any normal day for me. I wake up, brush my teeth, wash up. If it's a program day, then I go to my programs, go to school, whatever I do, go to a job. If it's a weekend, I do the same thing. Wake up, wash up, maybe work on music, go work out, call some people.

[Nigel Poor]

You know, sometimes when dates that have feelings around them start to come up, you either get cranky or somehow there's something inside of you telling you this date is coming up. Does that ever happen? To you, as your birthday's getting closer, you find you're acting in a certain way or feeling certain things.

[Tom Nguyen]

I mean, if I'm thinking about it right now, I don't recognize that, but I think it's just because I haven't celebrated it for so long. It's not like when I was younger, I think maybe a part of it was to protect myself. Like, okay, you know, I'm sad because nobody really cares, but as I got older, from years of distance from it, it just became like it's no longer a part of my life. Kind of like. I don't know. Do you smoke?

[Nigel Poor]

Not anymore. I used to.

[Tom Nguyen]

Okay, so imagine, like, it's been so long that you no longer have the craving.

[Nigel Poor]

Yeah.

[Tom Nguyen]

For me, birthday is like, it's just a regular day.

[Nigel Poor]

Do you remember any birthdays?

[Tom Nguyen]

I think maybe my memory is not good enough, but my mom left when I was about 7 or 8, so after that, it was just whoever would take me in, and I think just them taking you in. It's not that they're bad people. They're not really worried about your birthday. They're feeding you. I was just thankful to have, like, just some food and have a house sometimes because I was always worried about where I'm gonna live next, if my dad's gonna do something. Today he beat the hell out of my mom. That's why she left. I was told that I called the police one time because I remember the police kicking in my door and coming to arrest my father.

[Nigel Poor]

At what age did that start happening?

[Tom Nguyen]

I couldn't say exactly.

[Nigel Poor]

Yeah, just approximately.

[Tom Nguyen]

Maybe like five. And then she left by the time I was seven or eight.

[Nigel Poor]

This isn't. This isn't related to birthdays, but do you remember the first time you were really let down and you realized, I'm gonna have to probably fend for myself?

[Tom Nguyen]

I think the first time I could think about remembering that when I was really let down is when the police kicked in the door to pick up my pops or my father. Right when. When they kicked him and arrested him. I just remember thinking, my mom's a wreck. She's over here sobbing. And I'm not blaming her, but I remember I'm like 5 years old or something, and I just remember thinking, damn, she's over there crying. But we got me, my younger brother and my sister. So I'm five. My younger sister is two years younger than me, and my brother's three years younger. He's a baby. And I'm standing there and I'm Thinking, what the fuck? If I look back now, I go, I remember being scared, where am I gonna get my next meal tonight? That's a super fun birthday story, huh? I know, it's like, hella dark, depressing.

[Nigel Poor]

Well, yeah, I mean, I just. It's so hard to think about kids, you know, not being taken care of. Since you had other more important things to think about than your birthday, do you think it's kind of silly to even want to talk about it?

[Tom Nguyen]

I don't think it's silly. I think, like, now when I look back, it's kind of cool to be able to celebrate a day that you survived another year. But the way I see things is surviving another year.

[Nigel Poor]

Well, what about when you see other people being celebrated? How do you feel?

[Tom Nguyen]

I think for them, I'm happy for them. I think because it means something to them. Like, in prison, most of my family are prisoners. We'll hire somebody to make a cake for us, and then we make a meal and. And I'm happy for them because they seem so happy about it, but I never feel, like, envious. I've worked for you guys, with you guys for like three years, three seasons. And I've been here for three years. To this day, nobody has known my birthday because I never talk about it. It doesn't mean anything to me.

[Nigel Poor]

So is this completely a non event for you?

[Tom Nguyen]

Yeah, it's just literally like just a regular day for me.

[Nigel Poor]

The image I get in my mind is like, you took an eraser and just erased something.

[Tom Nguyen]

Yeah. But it made life a little bit easier.

[Nigel Poor]

So how would you feel in June if we had a party for you?

[Tom Nguyen]

I'd laugh. I wouldn't want you guys to. Honestly, like, it's okay.

[Nigel Poor]

But how would you feel? Would you be, like, happy? Would you be embarrassed?

[Tom Nguyen]

I guess I'd be embarrassed. I'd be thankful. Yeah. I think the combination. I think growing up, like, I just didn't believe I deserved anything. I think that's. You know what? That's a part of it too. I never believed I deserved anything. So why get a birthday? Why get presents?

[Nigel Poor]

We are not forgetting that date. Okay, what's the date? What is the date?

[Earlonne Woods]

June 17th. Seriously though, you don't think we should, like, prank him? Like, we forgot.

[Nigel Poor]

Oh, my God. Earlonne.

[Earlonne Woods]

No, I mean, he's already expecting that. He's already expecting that.

[Nigel Poor]

Oh, God, no. Earlonne, this is the difference between you and me. You could do that. And for me, the whole time my stomach would be hurting, but the whole.

[Earlonne Woods]

Reveal would be like, we didn't forget.

[Nigel Poor]

I'll ponder it.

[Earlonne Woods]

But you know what? Seriously, though, I think there's a lot of guys like this in prison who, for whatever the reason is, they don't want anybody to know about their birthday.

[Nigel Poor]

But there's also a lot of people in prison who take it really seriously. And one of the things that sticks out to me are those really extravagant handmade cards that guys make, you know, and they walk them around and everybody signs them. And they kind of remind me of what happens in offices out here.

[Earlonne Woods]

You know, you got some cast that's gonna hold the card for a minute. Cause they wanna write some profound shit in there. Like, you know, like, they just been thinking about this for a while.

[Nigel Poor]

Yep. Yep.

[Earlonne Woods]

And then you got some cats that's just gonna write in there like, you know, you getting old, fool. Happy B Day. Happy C Day.

[Nigel Poor]

What is C Day? What is C Day?

[Earlonne Woods]

Oh, that's. That's gang shit.

[Nigel Poor]

Oh. Secret talk.

[Donnell]

So this one says, make a special friend. An open heart, a listening ear. A love that comfort and brings cheer. A caring way, a thoughtful deed, a faith that prays when there's a need.

[Earlonne Woods]

This is Donnell. He's reading from a group birthday card he received from a bunch of guys in his housing unit.

[Donnell]

I had about, like, maybe five or six friends that actually signed it. So when I seen it, I started smiling, right? I felt good about it. Because that just goes and show you, like, the guys that I hang around in here, they really do care. They considered me as a brother. So, you know, I cherish that forever. To Mr. J.R. you are the coolest and craziest guy I have ever hanged around with. But no matter what, you will always still be my friend. Stay cool. And happy birthday to you. Your boy, Zack. This is my buddy right here, Derek jr. I do consider you a friend, and a good one at that. I know this is not the place to be when you're celebrating your birthday, but I can say that I'm glad that I met you in this place. Stay blessed. Happy birthday. Love always, Derek Ware. Little bro, I never had as much of a crybaby you are. I wouldn't change you at all. Stay the way you are and remember it. You got people around you who really do love you. Thugger.

[Nigel Poor]

Since you've been in prison, have you received more cards from your friends than you have from your family?

[Donnell]

Yes.

[Earlonne Woods]

This, of course, is Tony Tafoya, one of the guys on our team inside San Quentin.

[Donnell]

It just shows me, like, how much you know the people I Was incarcerated, cares about me basically more than my family. So that's how I was looking at it. At times they did sending me cards, and then they stopped. I would ask them, like, what happened? You guys missing my birthday? They were like, no, we didn't miss your birthday. We knew it was your birthday. We just couldn't send you a birthday card. I made it a big deal.

[Nigel Poor]

So my sister doesn't talk to me. My mother kind of guilts her into sending cards. She gets them at the counter at Trader Joe's. So it's not even a birthday card. It's just a card about California sea kelp. There's definitely jabs inside what she's saying. So I would have rather not received a birthday card from her than to get a card that is basically like a slap in the face.

[Donnell]

I received a birthday card from my sister, One birthday card. The only thing my sister said was, I love you. That's it. I kind of felt like she didn't have nothing to say besides I love you. And that kind of like, hurt me because it's like, what's the whole point of you sending me a card? And I was the only card I ever got from her. And I was like. I say roughly about like six and a half years ago.

[Earlonne Woods]

Sucks.

[Sky]

Yeah.

[Donnell]

It's still hurting. But, you know.

[Pierre]

A friend of mine, his name is John Ditch, he made a birthday card for me. So in front of the car is just this portrait of a, like, random looking Asian dude. That's me.

[Jason Jenkins]

Cool.

[Nigel Poor]

This is so Pierre. He's at San Quentin now. But the story he's telling took place when he was at Pelican Bay, which to my mind, I've always thought of it as a place you really don't want to be.

[Earlonne Woods]

I mean, it's a level four prison, so it does have a reputation for being, like, a rough, tough spot.

[Nigel Poor]

Yes.

[Pierre]

There's a bunch of signatures, like everybody wishing me happy birthday. However, when I opened up the card, it was a pop up boner, and I was just tripping out. So just imagine this is the card, right, say about like this. And then in the front, it says happy birthday. And then when you open the card in the center right here is a boner sticking out, and then beneath it is balls. But the crazy part about it, right, is that he had hair, bro. Like, he had actual hair glued to the cord as pubit hair. And I'm like, what the hell?

[Tom Nguyen]

This is some freaky stuff, bro. This also makes the Asians look hella bad, bro. What did you say to them after you got that?

[Pierre]

I was just tripping out. It was weird, you know, but it was hella funny. And it stuck to me till this day. And I have that card until this day. But of course, I ripped off the boner and the pubic hair.

[Tom Nguyen]

Why did you take it off?

[Pierre]

It was weird.

[Tom Nguyen]

Okay?

[Pierre]

I can't do it. Like, you know, if someone sees me with that, especially, like, the cop, they come and search yourself. Like, you don't sex play on the main line, like at Pelican Bay at that time. That can bring violence.

[Otilia Pineda]

I'm Otilia Pineda, and my. My family doesn't really celebrate birthdays. So this was as close as my mom got to a birthday card.

[Earlonne Woods]

We met Otelia at ccwf, the Central California Women's Facility. We asked women there to bring us some of the birthday cards they'd received over the years from people on the outside.

[Nigel Poor]

Otelia brought us one she got from her mom. But the funny thing was, it wasn't actually a birthday card.

[Otilia Pineda]

She sent me a Mother's Day card on my birthday, and it says, especially for you on Mother's Day. She wrote in Spanish, para la madresita que mes etodo mi amor y respeto. Otilia, mi blanquita. Que pas? Estedia de las madres Feliz y contenta y porta Tevien que estranamos esperando. Testaremos esperando tu hijo noa y tu madre France aytoda tu familia.

[Earlonne Woods]

Is it possible you can translate what she said?

[Nigel Poor]

From.

[Otilia Pineda]

For the mother who deserves all the love and respect. Otilia, I hope you have a good day today. Have a good Mother's Day, and hopefully you're happy and behave, because we all miss you, your son, Noah, your mother, and your whole family. And then my son wrote a little heart at the bottom. This is the only card my mother has sent me during my almost 11 years incarcerated. This is as affectionate as my family gets. I've always asked her, like, mom, like, why don't you ever write me? Why don't you ever. You know, I think, like, this was as close as she felt that she could get to that. What was she thinking as she's walking through the store and she sees this Mother's Day card, knowing that it's my birthday? I've never asked her. She's caring for my son. Noah is my son. So there's been difficult conversations of, like, otilia, you're. Well, you're not his mom, right? Now I'm his mom, so for her to send me a Mother's Day card and kind of acknowledge that I am Noah's mom, this card has meant a lot to me.

[Earlonne Woods]

Can you tell us what's your name and how long have you been incarcerated?

[Chloe Veltman]

My name is Misty Mangoni, and I've been incarcerated for. This is going to be my 22nd year.

[Earlonne Woods]

We met Misty at CIW, the California institution for Women. And what I remember about her is that she was very peppy.

[Nigel Poor]

That is a perfect way to describe her. Do you remember she said, you can't say the word optimistic without saying Misty.

[Earlonne Woods]

And she's a part of a crew at CIW that takes birthdays really serious.

[Nigel Poor]

Yes. Birthdays are super important to Misty, and I got the sense that she really enjoys being celebrated.

[Chloe Veltman]

I've had two friends that have really been, like, the pillar of celebrating my birthdays. Typically in the middle of the night, they would decorate so I'd wake up and there'd be, like, the streamers from the ceiling and the happy birthday, Misty. And then all the little presents on my bed all wrapped and cute. And each year there's been, like, a different theme, like the different stuff that I like. The same friend who does this for me. We kind of go back and forth for each other's birthdays. We'll, like, keep it secret, whatever the theme's gonna be. So it's like a surprise each year. We, like, try to outdo the last one.

[Nigel Poor]

What are some of the themes?

[Chloe Veltman]

Oh, my gosh. I've had skulls. I had a Marilyn Manson one one time. I've had rainbows, unicorns.

[Sky]

What else?

[Chloe Veltman]

All pink. I've had. I was a queen. I had a scepter one year.

[Nigel Poor]

Misty has this, you know, prison family on the inside that she's really close with, but she also has a family on the outside, including a daughter. How do you celebrate your daughter's birthday?

[Chloe Veltman]

Well, she's out there, so. And I've been locked up most of her life, so.

[Nigel Poor]

How old is she?

[Chloe Veltman]

She's 29.

[Nigel Poor]

How old was your daughter when you came to prison?

[Chloe Veltman]

She was seven when I committed this crime, but I had already been in prison prior to that. I had done three years prior to that in Arizona. So, like, I had. I'd been gone from her life. 2. I went and dropped her off at her grandma's because I was cooking meth, and so I went and dropped her off her grandma's. So I've been gone.

[Earlonne Woods]

I know you sent her the most extravagant cards over the Years.

[Chloe Veltman]

Do you know what?

[Nigel Poor]

I'm horrible.

[Chloe Veltman]

Oh, my gosh. Just the other day, as a matter of fact, I was going through my stuff. I found a card from her 17th birthday. And I was like, look at this. Like, this is from 17. Like, I'm horrible.

[Nigel Poor]

Horrible. You didn't send it?

[Earlonne Woods]

No.

[Chloe Veltman]

I'll get them. I'll fill them out, and then, like, I'll do it, like, beforehand. And then it gets stuck somewhere, and then by the time it comes, the birthday's gone. I'm like, oh, my God. Towards the end of, like, my, like, getting high and stuff, I had ran across some letters that she had wrote me. And I read them and I was like, I've never even. I don't ever recall reading this. And I felt so bad. I was like, oh, my God. Like. And she was telling me about struggling at school and kids making fun of her and the fact that I didn't remember ever reading those. So many years of my life here have been a blank because I was intoxicated.

[Nigel Poor]

What's your relationship like with her?

[Chloe Veltman]

Well, for a long time, I didn't have contact with her, and then I would, like, video call with her and do all that stuff. But like I said, I'm horrible at sending cards. And so I guess she's just come to realize that's just me now. Like.

[Nigel Poor]

But you really expect people to celebrate you, right? So what happened there?

[Chloe Veltman]

I don't know. It's the intention is there, you know, because I get them, I got them ready, and then by the time they come and go, and I'm like, jesus.

[Nigel Poor]

Is it just, like, you forget or you. But is there something deeper?

[Chloe Veltman]

There's gotta be. There has to be.

[Nigel Poor]

What do you think that is?

[Chloe Veltman]

She doesn't have that high expectation of it, I guess. So maybe I kind of, like, I just use that as unconsciously as an excuse that, like, I don't. She doesn't have this expectation of me. So if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen.

[Nigel Poor]

But do you think that you've disappointed her and that's what you're afraid of doing?

[Chloe Veltman]

Maybe.

[Nigel Poor]

Sorry, I'm just curious.

[Chloe Veltman]

You're perfectly fine. No, no, no, no.

[Nigel Poor]

Yeah.

[Chloe Veltman]

Yeah. I don't. I don't know. Yeah. What is that there? That's a good question.

[Jason Jenkins]

My name is Jason Jenkins. I've been locked up going on 20 years. This year, initially, when I first came to prison, I used to celebrate my birthdays. But on my 28th birthday, I almost died. And so I stopped celebrating my birthdays.

[Earlonne Woods]

I think this is your friend to me, Nyge.

[Nigel Poor]

Yes, it is. Jason and I actually get along really well, but let me just say that we have very different opinions on a woman's position in society.

[Earlonne Woods]

Yes. And if listeners want to understand the backstory here, go back to our elections episode from last season.

[Nigel Poor]

Exactly.

[Jason Jenkins]

So it was my 28th birthday. I was in Corcoran, level four prison, maximum security.

[Earlonne Woods]

23 hours in the cell, one hour.

[Jason Jenkins]

Out, one hour out, man. Stabbings, riots, lockdowns all the time. At that time, I was still, you know, in the gang lifestyle, living that criminal lifestyle. And so when it's your birthday, the homies know, everybody know. And so what that looks like we making drink. We might get some weed, but, like, Kool Aid. No, no, no, no. Some pruno, some white lightning, and that.

[Earlonne Woods]

Would be considered alcohol. Alcohol, okay.

[Jason Jenkins]

Yes, sir. But I wasn't really into alcohol. That wasn't my thing. But I did do hard drugs, like crystal meth, powder, cocaine. Like, that was my drug of choice on this day in particular, early in the morning, people just start sliding all type of drugs up under my door. I got whatever I wanted. And so my celly, we had a cell phone in the cell, and so we used to rotate calls. Like, he'd get three hours, I get three hours, and we rotate. And so while he was on the phone, my girl, she was waiting on my turn for me to call so that we could celebrate together because she had made some spaghetti and she was making a. And we were supposed to just, you know, just hang out. I just had ordered a new package. Fresh T shirts, some fly kicks, had some glasses up in there, put my. Put my Sunday's best on, man. And I just want to, you know, get high and just hang out. My celly, he's. He's by the door. He's using the phone, and I'm waiting on him to get off. And so while I'm waiting on him to get off, I started off with crystal meth, you know, then I lit up a joint, and I'm smoking. Then they had some Molly. This is around the time when Molly was new. I didn't know how to use it, but they just. They just gave me a bunch of it. I just see a bunch of powder. So automatically in my mind, I'm thinking I'm supposed to snort him.

[Earlonne Woods]

So what are you supposed to do with Molly?

[Jason Jenkins]

So Molly is like a party drug, and so you actually supposed to put it in your drink and let it dissolve, and you drink it so you're.

[Earlonne Woods]

Not Supposed to snort.

[Jason Jenkins]

You're not supposed to snort molly, man.

[Earlonne Woods]

Oh, okay.

[Jason Jenkins]

And so I start sniffing at Molly, and it wasn't really having an effect, and I didn't really think I was, like, high. So I just kept doing it, Kept doing it. And so eventually I put my headphones on, I'm listening to some young Jeezy, and I just call myself trying to chill. And all of a sudden, man, my heart just start. Just start beating out my chest, just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. So I just tried to sit up, I tried to straighten up, like, tried to relax myself, and it just wouldn't stop. And it just kept going, boom, boom, boom. And all of a sudden, I can't breathe. I'm fighting for my life, bro. My hands start to stiff up. I'm getting cottonmouth. My feet start to stiff up. Eventually I start throwing up blood. And the only thing I could think about was like, man, like, this. Is it like this how I'm about to go? Like I'm about to die? But after about 45 minutes of just trying to fight, I was eventually able to calm my heart rate down and I was able to just relax. I wasn't a believer. I didn't believe in God or anything at this time. A few days after that, man, May 5, 2012, is when I gave my life over to Christ. And now I could say I'm. I'm 13 years sober. After that, bro, I stopped celebrating birthdays. I'm like, I'm cool. I'm cool on birthdays.

[Earlonne Woods]

We're gonna take a short break and.

[Nigel Poor]

We'Ll be right back.

[Earlonne Woods]

Earlonne here. Nigel and I wanna shout out another show in the Radiotopia family. Radio diaries.

[Nigel Poor]

For over 25 years, radio diaries has been creating sound rich personal stories about history and beyond.

[Earlonne Woods]

And they have a new miniseries called Making Waves, featuring stories about three controversial broadcasters in American history. Each of them use the microphone in different ways. One to warn, one to row, one to preach. And today, they're largely forgotten.

[Nigel Poor]

There's the black preacher who. Who reached millions on the airwaves before the civil rights movement.

[Earlonne Woods]

The woman who tried to warn the public of Hitler's rising power.

[Nigel Poor]

And the talk show host who first proved that outrage sells.

[Earlonne Woods]

Sometimes we get people on there who.

[Jason Jenkins]

Disagreed with him and had fight with him.

[Earlonne Woods]

Actually, he liked that.

[Nigel Poor]

I mean, if you were a Broadway.

[Earlonne Woods]

Play, you'd be a flop.

[Nigel Poor]

I'm not a Broadway play, but you're a flop.

[Earlonne Woods]

Listen to all three episodes of Making Waves on the Radio Diaries podcast, available wherever you listen.

[Nigel Poor]

The New Yorker calls Radio Diaries a venerable and remarkable audio documentary project. Subscribe to Radio Diaries wherever you get your podcasts or Visit [e-mail] listeners. Do you want even more Ear Hustle.

[Earlonne Woods]

And even fewer ads? Like, zero, zilch, nothing, nada?

[Nigel Poor]

If so, subscribe to Ear Hustle Plus.

[Earlonne Woods]

Ear Hustle plus subscribers get access to ad free episodes and bonus episodes.

[Nigel Poor]

Our Ear Hustle plus episodes are really fun. Subscribers can find out what's happening with people they've heard on previous episodes, and they can also send in questions for us to answer.

[Earlonne Woods]

And me and Nigel get to sit here and chop it up with our producer, Bruce, and just talk about whatever.

[Nigel Poor]

If you want to hear more of that, subscribe to ear hustle plus at earhustlesq.com/plus or directly in Apple Podcasts.

[Earlonne Woods]

And thanks for supporting the show. We appreciate y'all. And send in some provocative questions, spicy questions.

[Nigel Poor]

Happy, happy birthday.

[Jason Jenkins]

Today is your birthday.

[Sky]

I'm whispering sky and I write poems.

[Nigel Poor]

Which poem did you write that we used?

[Sky]

Let's see. Cookie Jar.

[Nigel Poor]

Cookie Jar.

[Sky]

You named it Cookie Jar or Throw a rock across the lake.

[Nigel Poor]

That's what it was. Throw a rock across the lake. Earlonne. You want to remind listeners who sky is?

[Earlonne Woods]

Yep. Sky is incarcerated at ciw, and a couple of seasons ago, we did a whole episode based on a poem that she wrote. And let's just say she wasn't too thrilled.

[Nigel Poor]

No, sky can be a little ornate. But regardless, I am really fond of.

[Earlonne Woods]

Her, and I think she. She know that, too. People loved your episode.

[Sky]

Yes, I'm being told.

[Earlonne Woods]

Yeah.

[Nigel Poor]

She's so so on it. So.

[Earlonne Woods]

So, I mean, it was. It was. Yeah.

[Sky]

Because not everything was there that I put down on that paper. I spent a long time with it.

[Earlonne Woods]

Right. Kind of cut short editorial process sometimes. Sorry.

[Sky]

Yeah, it was like, cut short.

[Nigel Poor]

So were you mad at us?

[Sky]

No, I was disappointed.

[Nigel Poor]

Oh, that's worse.

[Sky]

Same thing.

[Nigel Poor]

I think it's worse. I hate when I disappoint people. We got past that little frustration she had. I think.

[Earlonne Woods]

I think she stood her ground. You know what I'm saying? She held it over our heads just a bit, I guess.

[Nigel Poor]

But we were able to move on to the reason that we were actually there. We wanted to talk to you about birthdays. And I heard something. Your birthday coming up soon. When?

[Sky]

The 19th. Of January.

[Nigel Poor]

Okay. Today's the 9th.

[Sky]

Yeah. 10 days.

[Nigel Poor]

Oh, 10 days. How many birthdays in prison?

[Sky]

What do you mean? How many birthdays? I've been here since I was 30.

[Nigel Poor]

Two, so. And did you say 38 years? You've had 38. Approximately 38 birthdays. Do you remember your first birthday in prison?

[Sky]

I went out to the wreck field and not a lot of people knew me. They knew I walked backwards a lot.

[Earlonne Woods]

You walked backwards?

[Sky]

Sure. I had problems with my knees. So when you walk backwards, it strengthens them.

[Nigel Poor]

And what do you remember thinking about on your birthday that first, first year here?

[Sky]

Well, it's going to be quiet, peaceful, and there was critters everywhere.

[Earlonne Woods]

38 years ago. What did this place smell like?

[Sky]

Cows. I figured when you were anywhere eating, you're going like this, flying the flies away from you when you're trying to eat, remember?

[Earlonne Woods]

I remember because you said, you're old enough. No, no. Yeah, I said when I was in the Youth Authority, that's all you smelled was like cow manure.

[Nigel Poor]

So what are you planning for this year for your birthday?

[Sky]

I'm going to make myself a bagel and put some cheese in it and some pepperoni.

[Nigel Poor]

What else will you do for your birthday besides have that bagel?

[Sky]

Mona likes to get stuff and put it on your door to tell everybody that you're having a birthday, always take it off. So why do you take it off? Because they keep, you know. Hi, Sky. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

[Nigel Poor]

Do you not want people to acknowledge it's your birthday?

[Sky]

Well, it's just I'm going to be 70 years old. People like to call you old lady, and I don't like that.

[Earlonne Woods]

And is it too much attention?

[Sky]

It's too much stress. You know, you're trying to do things that you need to get done for yourself. And they're opening the door, happy birthday. Happy birthday.

[Nigel Poor]

It's like.

[Sky]

So you put a little sign on the door, leave me alone. Bye.

[Nigel Poor]

Since we've last seen sky, things have really changed for her. Remember, like, she had a lot of friends that were in there with her. And last time we talked to her, she did not want to get out of prison.

[Earlonne Woods]

Yeah. When we first met her, she had her prison family, you know, everybody that was down with her that was going to be there with her to the end. And then all her homies start getting out and she's there by herself now.

[Nigel Poor]

Yeah. How did you celebrate your birthday when your friend was here?

[Sky]

We had a potluck with other friends and we played cards. It was my friends around me, not just people pretending because some people say something, but they don't have anything to do with you at all. Yeah, it's all plastic.

[Nigel Poor]

So birthdays can Be a time when you find out how phony people can be.

[Sky]

They were phony all around me all the time.

[Nigel Poor]

In the years that you've been in prison, have you ever received a birthday gift that was meaningful to you?

[Sky]

Hugs? Because we can't do hugs in front of officers. We'll get a write up. Can't hold hands with a friend. It's a write up.

[Earlonne Woods]

There are strict rules about over familiarity in prison, right.

[Nigel Poor]

Between officers and incarcerated people, volunteers and incarcerated people, and also between the incarcerated women themselves.

[Earlonne Woods]

No touching, no hugging. No, none of that.

[Nigel Poor]

So if you could get a hug for one person, anyone, who would it be?

[Sky]

They're not here.

[Earlonne Woods]

Do you feel 70? Spirit? In your spirit, do you feel 70?

[Sky]

No, not really. Because everybody says you don't look 70, you don't act 70.

[Earlonne Woods]

How do you feel in your spirit?

[Sky]

Maybe in the 40s.

[Nigel Poor]

Do you think getting older is the concern or the fear? Is it dying or is it just not being as strong as you used to be?

[Sky]

Dying?

[Nigel Poor]

It is dying.

[Sky]

Yeah. My mom died at 71.

[Nigel Poor]

Is it fear of the pain of dying or having something happen to you like your mom, or is it actual Earlonne? This really touched me because when we first met Sky a couple years ago, she used to talk about how prison was like her home and she actually was fine there. But now that's shifted and you can hear that longing that she didn't used to have. And it changes the conversations we have with her and also how those interactions, I don't know, linger with me.

[Earlonne Woods]

Mm. I mean, I think for the first time, she has a vision of what her life in society would look like. You know, like she's picturing celebrating her birthday. You know, in the real world as a free person.

[Sky]

You know, I'd go sit in a park, have a picnic with my friends.

[Nigel Poor]

Who would be there?

[Sky]

All of them. Donna. Donna, Susan, Laura and Jim.

[Nigel Poor]

Would there be any animals there?

[Sky]

Probably everybody would have a dog or a cat.

[Nigel Poor]

And would you sit on the ground or at a picnic table?

[Sky]

I think we'd sit on the ground, yeah.

[Nigel Poor]

I'm impressed you'd be sitting on the ground.

[Sky]

Why not?

[Nigel Poor]

Cuz it's hard.

[Sky]

We can't sit on the ground here anymore. We used to be able to sit and write or do your homework or whatever, or teach somebody something. Okay, can't do that anymore. Everything's changed.

[Nigel Poor]

Any other details about this party, like what you would be wearing or would there be any music?

[Sky]

Probably a pair of jeans and cowboy boots. Yeah. Lay on your back and watch the clouds and see what kind of figures you see in them.

[Nigel Poor]

How about sounds?

[Sky]

Let's see. Kids playing around you. Probably a lot of birds. No raccoons, but squirrels.

[Nigel Poor]

What would you be talking about?

[Sky]

Being happy that we're not here, but missing our friends, too, that we left behind.

[Earlonne Woods]

Is there anything we should have asked about birthdays that we didn't?

[Sky]

Am I happy to be 70? Not really. But I wish I was still younger. I wish I was just born.

[Nigel Poor]

You wish you could start all over. Really?

[Sky]

Yeah.

[Nigel Poor]

You'd go through all the struggles.

[Sky]

I wouldn't be here. I'd be a whole different person.

[Nigel Poor]

Well, can we say happy birthday to you? Sure.

[Sky]

You're not gonna be here on the 19th, so.

[Chloe Veltman]

Happy birthday.

[Sky]

It's Sunday.

[Nigel Poor]

Yeah. Happy birthday. Thank you.

[Earlonne Woods]

Happy birthday Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to Skye. Happy birthday. I know we can't sing.

[Nigel Poor]

Happy birthday, Sky.

[Sky]

Well, thank you very much.

[Nigel Poor]

Yeah. Good to see you. It's always nice to see you.

[Sky]

I saw her and you were like, oh, no. I said, oh, no. Here they are.

[Nigel Poor]

Here we are again. Do you like talking to us just a little bit?

[Sky]

Yeah, I like talking to you guys.

[Nigel Poor]

Okay. Okay.

[Sky]

I can be an open book or I can be a closed book.

[Nigel Poor]

I know that about you. Yeah.

[Sky]

Yeah. It's my choice.

[Nigel Poor]

I know. Yeah. Is it closing right now?

[Sky]

No.

[Earlonne Woods]

Happy birthday. What happened to your voice, Nigel?

[Nigel Poor]

I'm glad you think I actually have a better voice.

[Earlonne Woods]

You got reverb in your shit.

[Nigel Poor]

It's really bad. And I feel like we owe sky an apology for that terrible rendition of the birthday song.

[Earlonne Woods]

Well, when she listened to it on that prison tablet, she gonna get a surprise.

[Nigel Poor]

That's right. Because when we got back from that trip, we decided that we needed a new Ear Hustle birthday song. Like an official birthday song.

[Earlonne Woods]

And if you've been paying attention, you've been hearing pieces of it throughout this episode. Now here it is, in its entirety.

[Nigel Poor]

The world premiere of the new Ear Hustle birthday song.

[Earlonne Woods]

Drum roll. Happy, happy birthday Today is your birthday.

[Nigel Poor]

Happy, happy birthday I'm so glad for.

[Jason Jenkins]

You Happy, happy birthday Today is your.

[Nigel Poor]

Birthday Happy, happy birthday and do what.

[Jason Jenkins]

You wanna do Happy, happy birthday Happy birthday Today is your birthday Happy, happy.

[Earlonne Woods]

Birthday I'm so glad for you Happy.

[Nigel Poor]

Happy birthday Today is your birthday Happy, happy birthday do what you want to do.

[Earlonne Woods]

Do what you wanna do. Okay.

[Nigel Poor]

Do what you wanna do.

[Tom Nguyen]

You sound crazy.

[Earlonne Woods]

Ear Hustle is produced by me, Nigel Poor Amy Stand in. Bruce Wallace, Rahsaan, N.Y. thomas and Cat.

[Nigel Poor]

Shuknik Shabnam Sigman is our managing producer.

[Earlonne Woods]

The producing team Inside San Quentin includes Darrell Sadiq Davis and Tom Wynn. The inside managing producer is Tony Tafoya. Thanks also to Aristeo San Pablo. The Ear Hustle birthday song you heard a minute ago was written by Tom Nguyen with variations on that theme by Tom Mead, Darrell Siddiq Davis, Bruce Wallace and Antwan Williams, plus trumpet playing by Brian Conroy.

[Nigel Poor]

Earlonne Sound designs and engineers the show with help from Fernando Arruda, Harry Culcane and Darrell Siddiq Davis. Thanks to Warden Andes at San Quentin and Acting Warden Parker and Lt. Newborg at the California Institution for Women, as well as Warden De la Cruz and Lt. Williams at the Central California Women's Facility for their support of the show.

[Earlonne Woods]

Thanks also to this woman here.

[Jason Jenkins]

I am Lieutenant Giamari Berry, the Public.

[Nigel Poor]

Information Officer here at San Quentin Rehabilitation center and I approve this episode. This episode was made possible by the Just Trust Building, a smaller, more humane engine of justice and safety across the country.

[Earlonne Woods]

For more information about this episode, check out the show notes on Ear Hustle's website, earhustlesq.com Ear Hustle will always be.

[Nigel Poor]

Free, but if you want more Ear Hustle without ads, sign up for Ear Hustle Plus. Subscribers get access to Ask Nigel and Earlonne Anything episodes and Where Are They Now? Episodes where we follow up with folks who have been on the show before and we see what they're up to now.

[Earlonne Woods]

Recently on Ear Hustle plus, we caught up with Edmund Richardson, who listeners might remember from one of our Catch a Kite episodes, talking about what his camaraderie was like with one of his partners at San Quentin. Since we last spoke, Edmund has worked as an incarcerated firefighter, a film producer, gotten married and has been released from prison.

[Nigel Poor]

Subscribe to Ear Hustle [e-mail] or directly in Apple Podcasts.

[Earlonne Woods]

Ear Hustle is a proud member of Radiotopia from prx, a network of independent creator owned, listener supported podcasts.

[Nigel Poor]

Discover Audio with vision at Radiotopia FM.

[Earlonne Woods]

I'm Earlonne Woods.

[Nigel Poor]

I'm Nigel Poor. Thanks for listening.

[Earlonne Woods]

54321. All right.

[Nigel Poor]

It's so much easier when you talk though. Radiotopia from PRX.