← Earn the Right to Live Your Dreams
Earn the Right to Live Your Dreams
02 It's Not Your Job to Please Everyone
00:09:35
Dr. Coyte Cooper, a motivational author, speaker, and coach, shares the primary reasons why it is not your job to please everyone on a daily basis. This episode also touches on four tips you can implement on a daily basis to live at a high level...
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Foreign welcome to the Earn the Right to Live your Dreams podcast. This is Coit Cooper. Hey, everybody. Coit here. Coming at you with another episode from the Earn the right to live your Dreams podcast. Today we're going to be doing a topic that I think is really, really important. I'd like to believe that every single one that I bring you is important, but this one I think in particular, because I believe that it pretty much impacts every person at some point. Every person on the planet is impacted by this. And it's entitled. It's not your job to please everyone. You know, one of the most interesting things is we spend most of our lives so worried about everyone else, you know, worried about their opinions, worried about disappointing them, worried about criticism. And as a result, you know, one of the things that we tend to do is we back off on our aspirations, and we spend most of our time trying to please other people. This is not the way to live an extraordinary life. It's not the way you should be doing things. You cannot, you know, really live to your full potential if you're too worried about others. And don't get me wrong, I truly believe that you need to spend time adding values to others. This is not what that's about. What this is about is saying yes to things that you should be saying no to or not worrying about things, you know, that you shouldn't be worrying about. And here's some examples. If you really, you know, you aren't getting this at this point. Number one is we often say yes to opportunities that are not in the line with our vision or they're not something that we're passionate about. We do this all the time. And I have to admit that I'm guilty of it as well, you know, on a regular basis. In the past, one of the things you do is you say yes. You know, somebody wants you to do something, and you say yes because you don't want to disappoint them. And inevitably, what ends up happening is you end up doing these things, and they're not what you're passionate about. So you're, in some ways, you're going through the motions and you're not turning out your best work, and you end up frustrating because, you know, you should not be spending your time this way, you know, and this is something you have to. To do something about. And we'll touch on just the steps you can take to improve in this area. The second thing that we do is we constantly adjust our lives to meet demanding people's needs. And I was just Reading Jolie Osteen's book, you can. You will. And one of the things that he says, you have to be really careful about this. There are people that will constantly take advantage of you, asking you to do things to make their lives easier, and you'll do them, and then they're not even really truly grateful for it, and they'll continue to ask these things. And you have to learn to say no to these things. You have to learn to say, I can't do that, and it's fine. If people are really frustrated with you, you got to be able to learn to walk away. And then the third thing we do is we avoid being ourselves to avoid criticism. And this one is kind of different, right? This is us knowing the way we should be living and then living in a different way because we're too afraid to be ourselves, you know, because we're so worried about criticism. And we gotta get away from that, because the bottom line is the outcome is that we're living at a lower level where we're incapable of living our dreams. We're incapable of performing at a high level. And inevitably, what that means is you're also incapable of being truly happy. And this is where you get yourself into trouble, because you start doing things you don't really want to be doing. So what we're talking about right now is a complete adjustment in your philosophy. And here's what I tell people all the time. It's not your job to please everyone. Repeat that to yourself. You tell yourself that every single day as you're going to work. You know, if you have somebody who's frustrated with you and you're starting to think, well, I'll do this just to make them happy. Remind yourself it's not your job to please everyone. It's not your job to make all them happy. And what you need to be doing is living to your full potential. And if you're living the right way and adding value to others, that's how you help people. So what we want to do right now is talk about four steps that you can take to live your best life. And if you can do these four things, I mean, you can flat out elevate your performance. You're going to be happier on a daily basis. And inevitably, when you're happier, you're going to close the gap on your goals. So the number one thing that you got to do, you got to learn to control what you can control. And let's explain on this a little bit, because the things that you can control are this you can always control your approach to your day. You can control your attitude, your behaviors, you can control your choices. All those things that are yours, you control. What you can control are other people's opinions, you know, their criticism, their thoughts on how you're approaching your living. And so the best thing that you can do is focus on living to your absolute full potential. You know, know exactly what you want to do in life and go and live that and stop waiting for permission from somebody else. The number two thing that you got to do and it relates to this, focus on being a supermodel. And no, we're not talking about going out and truly being a supermodel, but what we're talking about here is take the time to know who you want to be as a person. You know, know your values, you know, know who you want to be for the most important people in your life. You know, when, whether you're a parent, you're. You're a spouse, you're a, you're a colleague, you're a friend. All those roles that are most important to you take the time to know who do you want to be in those roles? What are the values that you're gonna stand for no matter what. Those things that you believe in so much that when somebody starts pressuring you, you say, you know what? I'm not backing down right now. And that's when you focus on being great at modeling these things every single day, over and over, you focus on being masterful at modeling these things, and inevitably what ends up happening is then you get to live the exact life you want to live, and you start to make the type of impressions that you want to make on the most important people in your life. The number three thing, and this one is really important, and I actually love it now, and I gotta admit, I didn't do so well with this in the past. I. But here's number three. You ready for it? It's see some criticism or even a decent amount of criticism as a compliment. You know, when. If you're not getting any compliment or any criticism, then that means you're not really living to full potential. You're not going all out, you're not setting aspirations that are near high enough. Because if you're setting high enough aspirations and you're living at a high level and you're modeling masterfully, you're going to have some criticism because you're going to make people uncomfortable. They don't like that because what they're doing is they're living at a lower level. They're settling for the status quo. And when you're living at a high level, they're going to criticize you. So see that as a compliment. When it comes to you, it can be frustrating, but shift your mindset and just say, hey, this is great. This means I'm doing something right. And focus on that being a good thing. And then the number four thing is to commit to living a crazy, cool life on your term. You know, live. Focus on living an awesome life. You determine what that is. The people around you don't get to make that choice. And of course, if you've got a partner, you're going to talk about that a little bit, but sit down every single day and say, what is it the person I want to be, the things that I want to achieve, you know, who do I want to be on a daily basis and know those things? And once you know those things and they charge you up, they fire you up, then just go out and live life on your own terms. Don't let anybody else dictate that. You know, you go out and you're an enthusiasm, enthusiastic person, and you're around somebody who's highly negative and they start to make fun of you or criticize you. You don't need to back down. In fact, just keep being whoever you are. You know, you don't have to listen to what other people say. And the sooner you get to just living and being the exact person you want to be, the happier you're going to be. You will feel amazing when you get to this point, and I want that for you. And so just a reminder, you know, to focus on controlling what you can control. You know, go into your day and focus on the things that you can do to live to your full potential. And that includes focusing on being a supermodel. Be masterful at modeling your value. And then as you do this, when you're pursuing your highest aspirations and you're living your values all out, see some criticism as a compliment. Love that. You know, just see it as you're doing something right. And as you move through this process and you get the criticism, continue to charge through and live an amazing life on your own terms. And if you do this, I can promise you one thing, that you will be on your way to closing the gap on living your goals and dreams and just having an amazing life where you make a massive impact on people. So hopefully you enjoyed this episode. We're going to come at you again and keep delivering this type of content. So go out today. Don't try to Please everybody else, focus on living your best life and have an awesome day. Hey everybody. I hope you love this episode. If so, make sure that you subscribe to this podcast and tell other people about it. We want to spread the word. We want to impact more lives, and so make sure that you do that. If you're interested in personal development resources, head on over to coitcooper.com, c o y T E C O O P E R and check it out. And as always, go out and live a charged life. You know, one where you're going out and you're pursuing your full potential and earn the right to live all your dreams. Have a great day, everybody.