Podcast Summary: "So, You Fell Short...So What?!?!"

Podcast: Earn the Right to Live Your Dreams
Host: Dr. Coyte Cooper
Episode: ETR 95
Date: March 11, 2019

Episode Overview

In this motivational episode, Dr. Coyte Cooper addresses the common experience of "falling short" when building habits or pursuing personal growth. Drawing on his experience as a coach and author, he reframes failure as a natural part of the process and offers actionable steps to overcome setbacks, become resilient, and ultimately "earn the right" to pursue and achieve your dreams.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Everyone Falls Short — And That's Okay

• Dr. Cooper starts by normalizing setbacks: everyone misses their goals from time to time, especially when trying to build new habits. What matters isn't the stumble—it's how you choose to respond.
  • “Not one of them, not a single [habit] did I grab and go out and just do them for 66 days and lock them as a habit. Every single… I have failed at first. And I shouldn’t even call it fail. I fell short.” (05:40)
• It's not about failing; it's about your response.

2. The Real Issues: Unrealistic Expectations and Response

• Two major pitfalls:
  1. Perfectionism: Expecting immediate mastery or flawless execution leads to disappointment and quitting.
     • “There’s almost a point of pride in our society when people say, 'I’m a perfectionist.' And I always say, if you’re a perfectionist… you’re going to struggle.” (10:50)
  2. Response to Falling Short: Many people quit after a stumble, assuming they aren’t cut out for success.
• Our response is within our control; it's essential to develop resilience and get back on track.

3. The "Instant and Easy" Trap

• Cooper warns against the cultural expectation that powerful change should be quick and effortless.
  • “We have instant gratification. I want the results right away… Wouldn’t it be nice if it was like fast food? …But when it comes to your coolest accomplishments in life, you’re not going to get those things instantly. You’re not going to get those things easily. You’re going to have to show up.” (13:30)
• True transformation takes consistent effort and patience.

4. The Power of Single Habits

• Implementing and sticking to one core habit can dramatically shift the trajectory of your life.
  • Examples given: meditation, revisiting values, reading, gratitude.
  • “Single habits can change your entire life. I believe that with all of my body, my mind, my heart—all of it…” (17:30)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “So you fell short. So what? Everybody stumbles.” (03:10)
• “66 days to change your life is a flippin’ bargain... Write that down. It’s a bargain.” (15:10)
• “Perfectionism... there’s almost a guarantee that you’re going to struggle.” (11:15)
• “This ain’t about talent… You just have to develop the ability to say, ‘When it matters to me, I’ll do it as many times as it takes.’” (27:40)
• “When you make that decision, you will be different. You just put in the reps and all of a sudden you start to become the person you know you are meant to become.” (32:25)

Action Steps to Flip the Script on Quitting

Dr. Cooper’s Five Keys for Habit Mastery:

1. Get Crystal Clear on Your Core Habits (20:55)

• Identify your top three habits/initiatives.
• Focus on ONE habit first.
• Prioritize and avoid overloading yourself.

2. Create a Productive Environment & Structure (23:30)

• Schedule a specific time and place for your habit.
• Make your intentions clear and remove vagueness.
• Commit for a set period (e.g., 66 days or at least 3 weeks).

“The less vague, the better off you are… Just get crystal clear so you know exactly what needs to happen.” (24:20)

3. Determine Your "Why" (25:20)

• Clarify the deep reason behind your habit.
• Write it down and keep it visible—motivation will wane, and you’ll need this anchor.
• Remind yourself of your why during moments of resistance.

“You’ve got to know why you’re fighting for something, because when that time comes… it’s a flat out shh, we’re not doing that—because I know exactly why we’re committed to this.” (26:40)

4. Diminish Dwell Time When You Fall Short (29:05)

• Don’t beat yourself up over setbacks.
• Shorten the time you spend frustrated—get back on track quickly.
• If you miss a session in the morning, do it later. If you miss a day, come back the next.

5. Adopt the "As Many Times as It Takes" Mindset (30:10)

• Commit to persistence—doing the work as many times as it takes, regardless of setbacks.
• High achievers aren’t the most talented; they’re the ones who don’t quit.

“When it matters to me, I’ll do it as many times as it takes. And if that’s your mindset… you’ll lock in a habit, and it becomes second nature… and it changes your mindset… and they stack another habit…” (32:10)

Closing Challenge & Encouragement

• Dr. Cooper closes with a call to action: Don’t let stumbling or falling short stop you. Refocus, recommit, get up, and keep going until you become the person you’re meant to be.

  “So you fell short… So what! We all do. What are you going to do about it? …Become the type of person that will do it as many times as it takes. When you make that decision, you will be different.” (33:50)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Episode Start/New Initiatives Announcement – 00:00–03:00
• The Reality of Setbacks: “So What?” – 03:00–07:20
• The Problem with Perfectionism and Response – 10:50–13:30
• Instant Gratification Trap & Real Work – 13:30–17:30
• Single Habits Transforming Life – 17:30–20:55
• Dr. Cooper’s Five Keys to Habit Mastery – 20:55–32:25
• Final Call to Action & Mindset Shift – 32:25–End

Conclusion

This episode delivers a powerful message: stumbling on the road to your goals is universal, but it's your determination to stand back up, adjust your approach, and keep pursuing your most meaningful habits that defines your ultimate success. Dr. Cooper’s practical framework and motivational insights make this episode a must-listen for anyone committed to personal growth and high performance.