SHOULD SUCCESSFUL WOMEN MOVE DIFFERENTLY WHEN DATING?

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: Earn Your Leisure
Episode: Should Successful Women Move Differently When Dating?
Date: January 4, 2026
Hosts: Rashad Bilal, Troy Millings (with a female guest/host)
Main Theme:
This episode dives into the unique challenges and nuances that successful women—especially those in the public eye—face in dating and relationships. The discussion uncovers societal double standards, cultural influences, economic disparities, and the impact of social media on the dynamics between men and women, particularly within the Black community.

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1. Navigating Relationships as a Public Figure

Key Insight:

• Successful women, especially those with public visibility, often encounter relationship challenges that differ from their male counterparts.
• There’s a perception that women in the spotlight sometimes need to "lower their presence" or manage their ambition to make potential partners more comfortable.

Quotes & Discussion:

• [01:33] "You've been on television for a long time and you've been a public figure... How does that play into relationships?"
• The male host points out that men rarely have to consider how their public profile affects their romantic relationships, whereas women do.
  • [02:36] "Men don't have to deal with that... that's not something that a man ever thinks about. But a woman who is public figure might have to consider that when the dynamics of the relationship might have some level of, you know, imbalance."

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2. The Public Eye and Perceptions in Dating

Key Insight:

• Female guest/host discusses misconceptions about her dating life fueled by social media and public speculation.
• The reality of networking as a woman can sometimes be misinterpreted by partners as flirting or inappropriate behavior.
• Success and public recognition can create unique insecurities or discomfort in relationships.

Quotes & Memorable Moments:

• [03:50] "I think it is hard to date as a woman who is in the public eye if you're with somebody who doesn't understand that sometimes networking might look like flirting..."
• She reflects on an incident at a Beyoncé concert where networking could be seen as crossing boundaries, even when innocent, highlighting how public success complicates personal interactions.

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3. Compromise vs. Dimming Your Light

Key Insight:

• The importance of maintaining one’s self-worth and confidence in relationships is underscored. The guest stresses the difference between making a partner feel comfortable and compromising personal identity or career success.
• She sets boundaries: “I would never want to be with anybody who wants me to [dim my light].”

Quotes:

• [06:20] "I try to date and make men feel safe when I can... I try to make you feel good. I try to make you feel comfortable, secure, all the things as I would want you to do for me as well. But... I don't think that taking notes looks like me dimming my light."

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4. The "Beef" between Black Men and Black Women

Key Insight:

• The host raises the tension and ongoing debates between Black men and women regarding dating expectations and communication.
• There’s a social aspect pointed out by the guest—public perception and social media have amplified divisions that often don’t reflect real-world experiences.

Quotes & Discussion:

• [06:40] "There's something going on and I know y' all have had this debate over and over again with Black men and Black women, where I think we are constantly talking about what one group does versus the other group. And that's why we're in this space where we're constantly knocking heads."
• She mentions being critiqued for appearing "unapproachable" in public because she's on her phone, reflecting stereotypes and expectations placed on Black women.

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5. Social Media’s Amplification of Gender and Economic Tensions

Key Insight:

• Social media is acknowledged as a force that can overstate or distort the “battle of the sexes,” making minor or imaginary conflicts seem widespread.
• Economic factors are at the heart of many modern dating issues; disparities in income between Black men and women influence relationship power dynamics.

Quotes & Memorable Moments:

• [08:07] Rashad Bilal: "I hate to be the conspiracy theory guy, but I do think that there is some level of outside influence... a divide and conquer strategy... It's a breakdown in just culture, of American culture overall."
• [08:30] "Most of my clients were Black women. And that's when I realized that Black women was making a lot more money than a lot of Black men. That's a real thing. Yeah, but that definitely causes issues in a relationship... if a woman’s making more money than a man, she’s going to feel on a certain level more empowered."

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6. The Reality vs. The Online Echo Chamber

Key Insight:

• Co-hosts question the reality of viral online debates, e.g., 50/50 bill splitting or the so-called "red pill" movement, suggesting these are exaggerated by a vocal minority.

Quotes:

• [10:43] "Most people can't afford to get married. So there's a lot of this is an economic issue where this whole red pill community was birthed out of people that's frustrated..."
• [11:25] "I've never in my life been at a restaurant and seen people... a man tell a woman pay the bill... these hypothetical questions... I've never seen in reality. But like I said, when hurt people hurt people, when you really don't have enough confidence... you're not going to want to talk to a woman because you don't even feel confident in yourself."

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7. Final Thoughts

• Relationships between successful women and men are shaped by cultural expectations, economic realities, and amplified online narratives.
• The pressure on women to adapt or shrink their ambition is challenged, and both hosts and guests highlight the need for self-assured, mature communication and mutual respect.

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• "Men don't have to deal with that... a woman who is public figure might have to consider that..." — Male guest/commentator [02:36]
• "Sometimes networking might look like flirting... I do find that that is uncomfortable." — Female host/guest [03:50]
• "I don't think that taking notes looks like me dimming my light." — Female host/guest [06:20]
• "It's a breakdown in just culture, of American culture overall." — Rashad Bilal [08:10]
• "Most of my clients were Black women... Black women making a lot more money than Black men. That's a real thing." — Rashad Bilal [08:30]
• "Most people can't afford to get married. So there's a lot of this is an economic issue..." — Male guest/commentator [10:43]

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Conclusion

This episode of Earn Your Leisure offers an honest, layered discussion about the dating landscape for successful women, touching on fame, self-worth, gender roles, income gaps, and the distorting power of social media. The consensus: while pressures and perceptions exist, maintaining personal confidence and finding mutual respect remain the cornerstones for healthy relationships—no matter your status or success.

Transcript

[Host (possibly a female podcaster)]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.

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[Male Guest or Commentator]

You've been on television for a long time and you've been a public figure, obviously being on television for a long time, how. How does that play into, like, relationships?

[Host (possibly a female podcaster)]

Like, how.

[Male Guest or Commentator]

What you mean, like for women? A lot of times it's. It's a little difficult or it could be different than like a man. Like when you're in a relationship, right, and it's like you gotta travel or you're like, known and different things of that nature. Like, you know.

[Host (possibly a female podcaster)]

This is a great question. Can you give me some advice? I need some advice. Do you think y' all can give me some advice?

[Male Guest or Commentator]

I got you what you need.

Okay, what's the question?

[Host (possibly a female podcaster)]

I know, but first finish what you're saying because I think you're. I think you're asking me, how do I.

[Male Guest or Commentator]

Are you. Are you single?

[Host (possibly a female podcaster)]

Oh. Oh, gosh. That's a great question.

[Male Guest or Commentator]

Let her enjoy the holidays, my boy. That's a dirty back before the holiday.

No, I'm not present yet.

[Host (possibly a female podcaster)]

Right. So, like, stuff is.

[Male Guest or Commentator]

Well, if you're not.

If.

All right. Well, all right. Regardless. Regardless. It's. It's a. It's. But I've heard this from other women, too. Like, you know, that it could be difficult sometimes or you gotta. Sometimes you might have to lower your presence in moments for the man to feel more comfortable. I'm not saying that's your situation. I'm just saying I've heard that from other people before. But men don't have to deal with that. Men don't have to worry about. They're on television or, you know, they're getting too much attention or somebody might recognize them at dinner. Right. Like, that's not something that a man ever thinks about. But a woman who is public figure might have to consider that when the dynamics of the relationship might have some level of, you know, imbalance.

[iHeart Podcast Advertiser]

You.

[Host (possibly a female podcaster)]

Okay, that's. This is great. And so I think I'm going to tell you what I think about that. I, I never, I mean, I'm aware of it. And I think the men that I'm attracted to or the men that I've dated and been with in the past, I don't think that's an issue for them. At least they've never made it seem as if it's an issue. They see confident, comfortable, got their own. So I don't think that.

[PNC Bank and Square Advertiser]

Me being.

[Host (possibly a female podcaster)]

In the public eye made them feel away. At least that's how they've all made me believe. But it probably manifests in ways that I haven't really acknowledged. I often wonder, and, and I, and I, you know, because there's always a, A story about what kind of minute I date black men is there on the Internet they'll tell you only date white men. I don't know why, where that came from. Me back in the day being silly when I was at ESPN joking around with Jamel. We say silly things or we be on TikTok and then the Internet run with it and it's like, okay, she only dates white man. That's just not true. But I think it is hard to date as a woman who is in the public eye if you're with somebody who doesn't understand that sometimes networking might look like flirting, meeting. I could be at an event. I went to a Beyonce concert and I see a bunch of people that I know and I'm networking, I'm talking. Yeah, we should do this. I think that'd be great. We laugh and we're joking. We're all having drinks now. The person I could have been with could have felt away about that. If you're looking, you're like, I don't know what this is. I do find that that is uncomfortable.

[Mint Mobile Advertiser]

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[Mint Mobile Advertiser (Terms and Conditions)]

50% off regular price for new customers. Upfront payment required $45 for 3 months, $90 for 6 month or $180 for 12 month. Plan taxes and fees. Extra speeds may slow after 50 gigabytes per month when network is busy.

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[Host (possibly a female podcaster)]

And I'm taking notes, right? Because I don't if you love somebody, you don't want them to feel uncomfortable. You want them to be good. But I don't think that taking notes looks like me dimming my light. I would never want to be with anybody who wants me to. I wouldn't want to be with anyone who can't give me a compliment, who can't tell me I look good because they think 3,000 men on Twitter told me that today. So they don't want to tell me. So I try to to date and make men feel safe when I cannot. You know, I'm not. I don't have a bunch of relationships when I am in one. I try to make you feel good. I try to make you feel comfortable, secure, all the things as I would want you to do for me as well. But I here's the thing that I'm going to ask you about. I'm curious and I don't know if y' all notice it, whether you're married or single or whatever your case may be. There's something going on and I know y' all have had this debate over and over again with black men and black women, where I think we are constantly talking about what one one group does versus the other group. And that's why we're in this space where we're constantly knocking heads. Like, I don't, I don't understand that now. Now I'm so confused. So I was sitting down and my friend walked up to me and he goes, you're on your phone and you sitting at a bar. You don't even look like you want to talk to a dude. If I saw a dude, if I was a dude and I want to walk up to you, I wouldn't talk to you because you don'. Seem open enough. You seem like, you mean, you seem like you don't have time, but I'm just responding to a text like 10 other people are right. What's going on with that? Like, that's the question I have. Do y' all sense that at all? Like, there's just this beef, this unwritten on, and it just gets toxic and it gets uncomfortable. And I'm not blaming Kevin Samuels because everybody love recipes. I'm blaming him. But I also know that maybe, perhaps there is some blame to be. To be there. You know what I mean? I don't know. So I'm asking you.

[Male Guest or Commentator]

I think, I think it's. It's a, it's a good question, and I think it's deep rooted. I hate to be the conspiracy theory guy, but I do think that there is some level of outside influence that has been planted that has helped push that agenda to divide and conquer strategy. But I also think that it speaks to a breakdown in just culture, of American culture overall. Like, I feel like, you know, we do a lot of traveling and, and, you know, I'm overseas a lot these days, and the cultural norms and cultural standards that other countries have, Americans don't have, and that's something that's not talked about enough. And I think that that definitely plays a major part in the relationship dynamics between men and women, because it becomes a battle. Right? So now a woman easily can disrespect the man. A man can easily disrespect a woman. And then you throw some gasoline on the fire, you see a viral clip go, and then before you know it, it's just a constant, no, I'm not paying for this. Why would you do this? And you should be like, you know, it's just like a constant, just toxic thing. So I feel like that's a real, real, like just deep rooted. But I also feel like it's is rooted in pain because a lot of times, you know there is, there is truths to like they say every, there's truth in every joke, like there's truth in every troll. So it's like, you know, there's a lot of pain because. Yeah, I used to be a financial advisor so I, I have first hand information on this. Like most of my clients were black women. And that's when I realized that black women was making a lot more money than a lot of black men. That's a real thing. Yeah, but that, that definitely causes issues in a relationship when you're frustrated because you're not able to earn enough money to take care of your family. Somebody's making more money, they're gonna feel more empowered. Let's just be honest, if a woman's making more money than a man, she's going to feel on a certain level more empowered. Nine times out of 10, it's going to be a different conversation. It's going to be different things that happen in that relationship. So there's underlying things that I think cause all of these, these issues. But I also feel like it's just not deep rooted in culture as far as like cultural standards, cultural norms, you know, certain boundaries that other, other countries, other cultures have established that we don't have established. And it's just like running amok.

But to your point, rest in peace to the Godfather. He brought a lot of this to the table and then it became an inflection point because most people aren't having these con like when I'm outside at dinner. This is not a talking point. And the other part that has to be said about men, y' all have to quit being so scared. Whether she mean or not, whether you got motion or not future shot.

But no but this goes back to the thing where we saying before that most people can't afford to get married. So there's a lot of this is an economic issue where this whole red pill community was birthed out of people that's frustrated with this people. It's just like racism when people are angry about their situation, they projected on other people for sure. So this whole anti woman movement that we've seen with a lot of like people online, like you said a lot of stuff you don't even see in, in the real world. I think what I call it is the vocal minority. Things on social media get amplified and it seems bigger than what it really is. But I've never seen somebody have a 5050 debate in person. Never. I've never in life. I never in my life they might have had it behind closed doors but I've never in my life been at a restaurant and seen people I've never in my life seen a man tell a woman pay to pay to build a restaurant. I've never in life and I've probably been to at least 3, 000 dinners in my life. I've never seen these hypothetical questions that permeate on social media. I've never seen in reality. But like I said, when hurt people hurt people when when you really don't have enough confidence and you really don't have enough money and you like, then you're not going to want to talk to a woman because you don't even feel confident in yourself.

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[Host (possibly a female podcaster)]

This is an Iheart podcast. Guaranteed human.