The Biggest Mistakes People Make When Building a Home

Summary

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Earn Your Leisure Podcast

Episode: The Biggest Mistakes People Make When Building a Home
Date: July 28, 2026
Hosts: Rashad Bilal, Troy Millings, Matt
Theme: A deep dive into the emotional, financial, and logistical challenges of building vs. renovating a home, with real-life experiences and practical advice.

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Episode Overview

In this candid episode, the Earn Your Leisure team discusses the often-overlooked pitfalls and stresses that come with building a home from the ground up versus renovating an existing property. Through personal anecdotes and hard-won lessons, Rashad, Troy, Matt, and a guest homeowner/builder lay bare the financial, emotional, and physical tolls of home-building, providing listeners with valuable perspective on what it takes—and what it can cost—to realize the dream of a custom home.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Build vs. Renovate: Which Should You Choose?

• Building for Profit vs. Simplicity:
  • Matt: “If you want to make the maximum margin on a deal, build. That’s going to give you the maximum return. But you need to have the right team... That’s strictly for live men, not for freshmen. If you’ve never done it before, stick to rehabs.” (02:32 - 02:56)
  • Troy emphasizes building is “cash intensive” and fraught with potential for stress and costly delays without the right knowledge and reliable crew. (03:00 - 03:44)
• Personal Experience:
  • Homeowner/Builder: “Don’t do it. Please don’t do it.” (03:46 - 03:50)
  • Rashad notes the advantages of design control but warns about the magnitude of unforeseen costs and emotional tolls.

2. Emotional and Physical Toll of Building a Home

• Personal Toll:
  • Homeowner/Builder shares: “The amount of money is unbelievable, and the stress... the delays and the hiccups and arguing with contractors... it’s something that I think… it’s unbelievable the amount of stress and the amount of money that I personally have spent over the last four years. Never again.” (04:12 - 05:34)
  • Troy acknowledges the pride in completion, but also the hardships: “That first night you sleep in there, it’s like ‘yo, damn, I did this.’” (06:09 - 06:41)
  • Homeowner/Builder: “A lot of people built their homes, one guy got divorced, one bro couldn’t finish the project. I actually developed... sleep insomnia for two years. One guy developed a heart condition.” (06:41 - 07:17)
• Impact on Relationships:
  • Troy: “I’m watching my wife go through it too... the stress levels, the insomnia, can’t sleep. I gotta be optimistic. Yo, when is this gonna end?” (07:22 - 07:54)

3. Money Flows Out—Fast and Unrelenting

• Unexpected Costs:
  • Rashad: “After you get the money, they have a thousand ways to take it from you.” (09:27 - 09:42)
  • Matt: “You’ll see your money go fast. Building the house, you’ll see your money go fast.” (09:42 - 09:48)
  • Homeowner/Builder: “I’ve spent money every single day… The house is not done yet, but we’re working around construction.” (09:49 - 10:03)

4. Counsel and Caution for Future Builders

• Seek Advice First:
  • Building or buying a home is not a decision to be taken lightly. “This isn’t something that you should enter unadvised. Building a home or even buying a home is not something you should enter unadvised.” (10:03 - 10:23)
• Adjusting to the New Reality:
  • Homeowner/Builder: Admits, “I never lived in a home, so even now it feels slightly weird, waking up by myself in a home. It’s kind of a big space.” (10:24 - 10:42)

5. Community and Pride

• Giving Back and Being an Example:
  • Troy: “It’s something that your kids can be proud of... your community can be proud of. We did it in a place that is familiar to us... people from our community can look at and say ‘these guys still are here, giving back to the community.’” (05:35 - 06:09)

6. Humor and Camaraderie Amidst Hardship

• The episode is punctuated by banter about the realities of life in a new, large house:
  • Matt joking: “I have more kids or something, bro... Pop out two more or something... that big crib. Pause. But, like, that one is crazy. Damn.” (11:00 - 11:32)
• Frequent reminders that, despite the difficulties, “God is good.” (11:36 - 11:44)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Matt: “That’s strictly for live men, not for freshmen.” (02:45)
• Homeowner/Builder: “Don’t do it. Please don’t do it.” (03:46)
• Homeowner/Builder: “Never again. Never again.” (05:32)
• Troy: “Even now, I’ll wake up and just be like, ‘yo, look at God. God is really the greatest.’” (08:37)
• Rashad: “After you get the money, they have a thousand ways to take it from you.” (09:27)
• Homeowner/Builder: “It’s coming together... But this isn’t something you should enter unadvised.” (10:02 - 10:23)

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Important Timestamps

• [02:20] – Discussion begins: build new or renovate?
• [03:00 - 03:44] – The importance of the right team and understanding permits/zoning.
• [04:12 - 05:34] – Homeowner/Builder details the stress, cost, and regret.
• [06:41 - 07:17] – The real, sometimes physical toll on builders; stories of divorce, insomnia, and health.
• [09:27 - 09:42] – The relentless pace of spending and hidden costs.
• [10:02 - 10:23] – The need for wise counsel before moving forward.
• [11:00 - 11:32] – Light-hearted banter about “filling up” the big new house.
• [11:59 - 12:25] – Acknowledgment that it’s an emotional journey: triumphs, failures, and everything between.

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Tone

The episode is frank, personal, and supportive. The hosts oscillate between serious warnings and humorous asides, depicting both the pride and the pain associated with building a home.

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Takeaways

• Building a home can be rewarding—but it is far more stressful, costly, and emotionally taxing than most realize.
• Having the right, trusted team and deep local knowledge (permits, zoning, contractors) is essential.
• The process can impact your health and your relationships—don’t underestimate the toll.
• The pride in accomplishment and community legacy can be fulfilling, but be certain this path suits you.
• Seek advice and counsel—don’t jump into a build or purchase unadvised.

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This episode is a must-listen for anyone considering building or renovating a home, especially first-timers. The hosts’ unfiltered experiences offer critical perspective that's hard to find elsewhere.

Transcript

[Podcast Host]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Troy]

Guaranteed Human earners what's up? Look, building wealth isn't just about making money. It's about knowing where your money is working for you. That's why we partner with Empower. Empower is all about helping you invest well so you can go out and live a little. Their free Empower Personal Dashboard gives you a complete view of your financial life in one place. Track your net worth, monitor your budget, analyze your investments, set retirement goals, and more. You've worked hard for your money, now make sure it's working hard for you. Download the Empower Personal dashboard or visit empower.com not an empower client, paid or sponsored. When traveling for events or festivals throughout the country, every dollar matters. We compare flights prices, hotel rates and restaurant options, so why wouldn't we compare rides? Personally, I always check Lyft before booking a ride. Prices can change throughout the day depending on traffic, weather and what's happening in the city. If you're headed to a concert, out to dinner, or catching up with your friends on a Friday night, taking a few seconds to check Lyft could leave you with more money to enjoy the experience. Save money, Check Lyft Today's episode is

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[Rashad Panel]

you leave, should you buy a home and renovate it or should you build from ground up, you're Rashad Panel right now.

[Troy]

Well, we, we all got a similar experience because we all built the home.

[Matt]

Yeah. So I, I personally would say if you want to make the maximum margin on a deal build, right, that's going to give you the maximum return. But you need to have the right team.

[Rashad Panel]

Right.

[Matt]

Like that's strictly for live men, not for freshmen. If you've never done it before, stick to rehabs. It's quicker, it's easier, you can learn a lot, you can still make good money, but I don't think you can go wrong with either or. What's your thoughts on that, Troy?

[Troy]

Rashad, I think the most important thing you said was have the right team because without them it's going to be even more delays, there's going to be cash grabs. It is cash intensive building. I think the other thing you need to do is study the municipality that you're building that house in to know obviously from a legal standpoint, but from a permit standpoint about how you get these permits and what can be allowed and what is permitted, what is zone that is important. Team permit and having cash, man, that's one thing that they won't tell you that you need to know. This is a cash intensive and it can be stressful, but having a strong team and having multiple teams sometimes can help.

[Matt]

Shot it. What's your thoughts?

[Homeowner/Builder]

Don't do it.

[Rashad Panel]

You know, I, I ain't mad at you. Let's talk like, don't do it. Please don't do it. Oh, so Rashad, you would buy something and renovate it. Giving you experience now. Beautiful staircase, by the way.

[Homeowner/Builder]

Thanks.

[Rashad Panel]

Shout to all. Yeah, the staircase is moving. I have to text you like, oh,

[Homeowner/Builder]

thank you, I appreciate that. The good thing, you know, I designed the house. I did design the house. You know, it's one of these things. The good thing about building a home is that you get to build it right? You get to design it. I meant to, I'm into interior design. So, you know, most men are not into interior design. I'm into interior design, so I enjoyed that part of the process. But the amount of money is, is unbelievable and distress and the delays and the hiccups and arguing with contractors and man,

[Troy]

it's not for the faint of.

[Homeowner/Builder]

It's, it's something that I think and you know, I had a bad situation so people obviously probably had better situations than me. But it's unbelievable. It's actually unbelievable the amount of stress and the amount of money that I personally have spent over the Last four years. So was it cool to design my house? Yes. Because I always liked Sims growing up. So it is cool to just say, okay, I want this, I want that. I want this, I want that, I want that. Go to China. That's all been cool. But if I had to do it over, I would most likely not do this. I would most likely not do this. Never again. Never again.

[Troy]

I mean, never again. That's why I said so. Like, even we've had these conversations just, like, personally, right? I'm like, the process is tedious, and the. The glory is on the other side of it when, yes, you have created something. My situation is obviously different, but, I mean, we're pretty much neighbors. Building that with somebody waking up in it and realizing, like, yo, you really did this. Like, this is something that you really did. You accomplished it. It's something that you can be proud of. It's something that your kids can be proud of, but it's also something that your community can be proud of. Right? Because we could have did this anywhere in the world. Like, the fact that we. We did it, you know, in a place that is familiar to us and that people that are from our community can look at and say, yo, these guys still are here giving back to the community, but are actually in the community that are accessible to us. I think that part of it is like, all right, bro, I get it. It's. It's. It's terrible, right? And, like, I've had to watch him go through it. He's watched me go through it as well. But, like, that first night you sleep in there, it's like, yo, damn, I. I did this.

[Homeowner/Builder]

I'll say this, too. Nobody talks about. A lot of people don't make it past this, like, even area that we. We live in. A lot of people built their homes. One guy got divorced because he got. Because one. One lady, one bro couldn't finish the project. I actually developed sleep apnea. I mean, insomnia. Sleep insomnia for two years. One guy developed a heart condition.

[Rashad Panel]

Stresses that pop up with these. Your issues, though. I'm not. I'm.

[Troy]

I'm not trying to be facetious here. Yes. And I've watched it because the Steve, Abby and he's talking about, literally, I'm watching this happen to him, but I'm watching my wife go through it, too. Like, the stress levels, the insomnia, can't sleep. I'm watching that and realizing that I can't develop those things because there's people that are going to be relying on me, right? Like, so I gotta have. That's just my spirit. It's just like, I gotta be optimistic. Yo, when is this gonna end? It always. It gets to that point. And Matt, you can speak to it too. It's like, yo, when are we gonna stop spending at this level,

[Matt]

right though? Troy, this is a pain in the ass, bro.

[Troy]

I'm not hiding that.

[Matt]

This is one of the most stressful things that I've ever experienced in real estate. It just doesn't make no sense some days, and it's just like, yo, I just feel like, yo, just. I'm. I'm. Some days I'm just like. I feel like I just want to throw in the towel, like. But I'm like, I didn't come this far to get this far, so I. I gotta. I gotta see this to the end, you know? But I can't wait to have that experience. Like, you're saying just to wake up and you being a joint, after all the blood, sweat and tears and all the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars that you have spent, like, you need to be able to enjoy it. So I know there's gonna be a rainbow after the storm, but it's just like, damn, this need to hurry up.

[Troy]

So that. That's the thing, right? So, like, I've been able to do that. And even now, like, I'll wake up and just be like, yo, look at God. Like, God. God is really the greatest. To the point where sometimes I'm like, where am I? This is really, like, where I'm living. Like, this is crazy. But that just goes to like, Yeah, I know people say when you in it, it sucks. It does suck. And they're like, yo, don't worry. You won't think about as much as. As when you're living here and it's a part of your everyday and, you know, you can really be proud of it. And like, slowly I'm feeling that because I'm still, like, I'm still building. There's still pieces that I'm adding. I'll text you. I'll call you after this. So you can see what we just did. But it's slowly happening. I mean, I watch it. I'm watching him go through it. I'm like, y' all been. I know exactly what he's feeling because it's like, damn.

[Rashad Panel]

You know, one of them days, about a year and a half, God called Shot. Like, are you good? He like, yeah. I'm like, I know you're not good. I know you're not sleeping. These are other parts of the conversations that have to be had too. I keep telling you, after you get the money, they have a thousand ways to take it from you.

[Matt]

100. And it goes fast. Building the house. You'll see your money go fast.

[Rashad Panel]

Yeah.

[Homeowner/Builder]

And it's like I said, nothing. Like, every day is every. I've spent money every single day. But, you know, I moved in. The house is not done yet. But, you know, we working around construction. But it, you know, it's. It's.

[Rashad Panel]

It's coming together.

[Homeowner/Builder]

Like, you know, you know, all right, if. If you get married, they say this isn't something you should enter unadvised. Something like that. Like, that's. They say you should seek counsel. This isn't something that you should enter unadvised. Building a home or even buying a home. Buying a home is not something you should enter unadvised.

[Matt]

Agreed.

[Homeowner/Builder]

Like, that's a big, big, big deal. It's a commitment. And you know me, I never lived in a home, so even now it feels slightly weird, like, waking up, like, by myself in a home. It's kind of. It's kind of a big. It's a big space.

[Troy]

Yeah.

[Homeowner/Builder]

Feels slightly weird, honestly. Like, you know, to be completely honest about it.

[Rashad Panel]

Gotta put a family in there. We talk about it.

[Troy]

I'm eating lunch. This guy's in my front yard, man.

[Matt]

Yeah, bro. I mean, look. Yeah, it's shoddy, man. I have more kids or something, bro.

[Troy]

Yo, yo, come on, man.

[Matt]

I was just saying. So you might have to, like, pop out two more or something. I don't know. Like, you got that big, you know, like y' all got that big crib. Pause. But, like, that one is crazy. Damn. I'm just saying, though, like, some respect for yourself.

[Rashad Panel]

I'm just saying. Oh, wow.

[Matt]

God is good, bro. God is good, bro. God is good.

[Rashad Panel]

God is good. As a follow up is crazy. After that.

[Homeowner/Builder]

Respectful, man.

[Matt]

All right.

[Homeowner/Builder]

Always, Always a pleasure, bro.

[Rashad Panel]

Man, I appreciate you. One of the hardest.

[Matt]

Yeah, I appreciate the love as always, man.

[Homeowner/Builder]

All right, We're a little overtime, but that home conversation is new. We gotta talk about that on Blackout, man. Because that brings up.

[Rashad Panel]

Bro.

[Homeowner/Builder]

It's an emotional conversation because it's ups and downs. It's. It's. It's good things, it's bad things. It's money spent. It's, you know, it's triumphs, it's failures. It's so many different things that, that go into buying a home, building a home. And like I said, most of the time when people build a home, they let's say a man, their wife is doing a lot of that or they have an interior designer.

[Troy]

Earners what's up? Look, building wealth isn't just about making money. It's about knowing where your money is working for you. That's why we partner with Empower. Empower is all about helping you invest well so you can go out and live a little. Their free Empower Personal Dashboard gives you a complete view of your financial life in one place. Track your net worth, monitor your budget, analyze your investments, set retirement goals and more. You've worked hard for your money. You now make sure it's working hard for you. Download the Empower Personal dashboard or visit empower.com not an empower client, paid or sponsored when traveling for events or festivals throughout the country, every dollar matters we compare flights, prices, hotel rates and restaurant options. So why wouldn't we compare rides? Personally, I always check Lyft before booking a ride. Prices can change throughout the day depending on traffic, weather and what's happening in the city. If you're headed to a concert, out to dinner, or catching up with your friends on a Friday night, taking a few seconds to check Lyft could leave you with more money to enjoy the experience. Save money.

[Podcast Host]

Check Lyft before you sign off. You tuned in for ways to help teams move faster, make sharper decisions, and turn scattered context into work. They can use ChatGPT for business can help. ChatGPT for business gives teams a shared workspace with admin controls, permissions and access to work and codecs and ChatGPT. This means your business can move from question to answer and code to rollout quicker. Join over 10 million business and enterprise users worldwide already using ChatGPT for work. Download the ChatGPT desktop app or contact sales to learn more.

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