Episode 343 – Petri Dish

Summary

Ed Gamble & Matthew Crosby on Radio X

Episode 343 – Petri Dish
Date: January 18, 2026
Podcast Summary by Sections & Timestamps

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Overview

This episode is classic “Crunch & Crumble”: a rambling, affably absurd Sunday morning comedy show. Ed is recovering from illness and reflecting on his petri dish household, Matthew’s in the honeymoon phase with a new boiler, and both spiral gleefully through listener messages, whimsically mundane passions, surreal quiz sections, and recommendations of what they've been watching. Producer Vin is ever-present, both as comic foil and participant. The episode’s key theme: how everyday life (boilers, bins, sleep routines) can unexpectedly become our biggest passions as we drift inexorably into middle age. Also: a healthy dose of meta banter about the futility and beauty of radio.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Messages & Absurd Observations (00:10–08:57)

• Revisiting Old Text Topics:
  The episode opens with Ed reading messages from listeners who’ve been going back through old show podcasts.
  • The classic “yes or no” text topic is remembered only as a creative low point:

    Matthew: “That’s one of the only text topics I remember because I felt like we’d hit rock bottom.” (01:36)

• Why Odd and Even Numbers on Houses:
  The trio puzzles over the logic behind house numbering, with surprisingly detailed (yet circular) arguments.
• “Are alligators fish?”
  Ed shares the Vatican’s flexible classification for what counts as 'fish' to allow Catholics to eat certain creatures on Fridays, leading to existential musings:

  Ed: “It’s all made up, guys,”
  Producer Vin: “Can something be real and made up?” (04:16)

• Bizarre listener tributes:
  A listener named Bettina writes a surreal appreciation of Producer Vin, likening him to performance art and referencing episode “342” as a cultural touchstone.

  “Vin cannot be interpreted. He is unknowable.” (07:27)

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2. AI Introductions and Illness in the Studio (09:04–11:45)

• AI Writes the Intro:
  Ed attempts to use an AI (Grok) to generate the show’s intro, but the result is so bizarrely filthy that he aborts:

  Ed: “The surprisingly muscular Ed Gamble jimmied down his red little pants...” (09:46)

• Illness as Household Petri Dish:
  Both are under the weather – Ed complains about a week of existential misery, Matthew sees his home as a disease incubator.
  > Matthew: “A petri dish... it is, yeah. Very, very much so.” (11:15)
• Silly wordplay about pronouns as “the new illness,” gently riffing on anti-woke narratives.

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3. New Boiler Obsession (13:01–17:47)

• Matthew’s Joyous Boiler Love:
  In the main running joke, Matthew’s thrill at having a new boiler dominates conversation.

  Matthew: “It’s like Christmas Day... I’ve just been tiptoeing into the utility room, opening up the cupboard and having a look at the boiler... that’s a sweet piece of kit.” (15:16)

• Tradespeople Critique:
  Ed rants about tradesmen making emotional judgments on house equipment.
• Boiler as Life Highlight:
  More than a practical upgrade, the boiler becomes an object of fascination and the launchpad for their main text-in topic: “Unexpected Passions.”

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4. Unexpected Passions Phone-In (20:31–37:29)

• Launching the Segment:
  Listeners are invited to admit to suddenly becoming obsessed with unexpected, “boring” things as they get older. Favourites:
  • Boilers, Dishwashers, Glassblowing, Birdhouses:

    “My lovely new dishwasher door pops open when she’s finished and I congratulate her every time.” (23:43, Listener Jo)

  • Skincare Routines:
    A listener named Kirk details his new, elaborate skincare passion; Ed and Matthew riff on creams, SPFs, and “contouring.”
  • Fitbits and Sleep Data:
    Joe Whip details his love-hate relationship with his Fitbit sleep stats:

    “We’ve fallen out, but I keep going back for my eight hour fix.” (31:01)

  • Bins, Recycling Systems, & Stockpiling:
    Multiple listeners admit to tracking local stone, loving bins, hoarding tins and toilet paper (“I think it’s apocalypse related”—Sarah, 32:10).
  • Driverless Cars:
    Peter Knowles shares his fascination with Waymo taxis in L.A.:

    “There’s nothing better than getting into a Waymo, a bit tipsy, talking to it like it’s a sentient being and whacking on Cher’s Christmas album.” (33:42)

• Meta Commentary:
  Matthew remarks the bin chat is the show’s “most boring radio... ever”

  “But I love it. I’ve never felt more comfortable on the air than when we’re talking about just absolute dross.” (37:13)

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5. Classic Radio X Nonsense & Quiz Section (46:10–56:03)

• Metal Education Returns:
  The infamous “Metal Education” quiz is revived. This week:
  • French Nursery Rhyme or Fake?
    Listeners have sent in an elaborate quiz; Ed tries to guess which French rhymes are genuine and which are fakes.
    • Sample:

      “A green mouse is caught and dipped in oil and water, then turns into a snail. Additionally, someone soils their pants.” (50:10)

  • Results: Ed scores 9 out of 12.

    Ed: “Am I secretly French?” (55:41)

• On-Air Technical Chaos:
  A song is played mid-discussion, stitches together Bowling for Soup and Johnny Vaughan by accident, prompting accusations of '1960s-style' producing.

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6. Recommendations, Culture Corner & Final Banter (60:41–end)

• Culture Consumed (Recap):
  • Ed’s picks:
    • Pee-Wee Herman Documentary ("really, really worth watching... both really sweet and life affirming and also quite heavy") (61:24)
    • Chevy Chase Documentary (for his fascinating, difficult personality and comic genius) (62:36)
    • There Will Be Blood ("watched over two nights, as Paul Thomas Anderson intended") (64:56)
  • Matthew’s pick:
    • Waiting for the Out (BBC iPlayer, serious and well-written prison drama) (67:34)
  • Producer Vin:
    • Black Ops (BBC iPlayer, “even funnier second series”) (69:03)
    • Things You Should Have Done (Lucia’s comedy, also very odd and good) (69:16)
  • Shared Love:
    • Peep Show as comfort viewing (69:55)
• Meta conclusion:
  Both bemoan how hard they "worked" (by chatting about absolute drivel), and sign off promising more guests (and potentially more focus) next week.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (w/Timestamps)

• Mundane Triumph

  Matthew: “It’s like Christmas Day... tiptoeing into the utility room, opening up the cupboard and having a look at the boiler. Woo. That’s a sweet piece of kit.” (15:16)

• On the Construct of Radio

  Ed: "The great thing about radio is once it's done, it's done. Live telly, radio—brilliant. You never have to think about it. Or actually just the bit that we do anyway." (08:34)

• Meta Boring Radio

  Matthew: “What I would say about our show is, even if it’s bad, it’s often excitingly bad. You know what I mean? Thrillingly. This is the most boring radio we’ve ever done in our lives.” (37:03)

• AI Gone Wild

  Ed (reading AI's attempt at an intro): “The surprisingly muscular Ed Gamble jimmied down his red little pants…” (09:46)

• Growing Old Gracefully

  Ed: “As we all get older, we have some surprising new hobbies, interests, obsessions, and fascinations.” (20:45)

• Listener Gold

  “My lovely new dishwasher door pops open when she’s finished and I congratulate her every time.” (23:43, Listener Jo)

• Dissecting Skincare

  Ed: "I do cleanse and I do moisturize, but that's about as far as I go." Matthew: "You got to get into the toning and serum." Ed: "I'm contouring as well. Draw a big dark line down the middle of my nose...I call it my war paint." (28:33ff)

• Existential Listener Message

  Listener (Bettina): “Vin cannot be interpreted. He is unknowable... I do not envy those whose job it will be to try.” (07:27)

• Meta-Realization

  Ed: “We should be recycled. We should be put in a bin. One with a lid.” (37:14)

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Segment Timestamps (Compact Reference)

• Listener messages & old content: 00:10–08:57
• AI intro & illness: 09:04–11:45
• Boiler passion: 13:01–17:47
• Unexpected passions texts: 20:31–37:29
• Boring bin chat/Meta radio: 34:42–37:29
• Metal Education (French rhyme quiz): 46:15–56:03
• Cultural recommendations (documentaries, shows): 60:41–end

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Tone & Language

Consistently self-deprecating, playful, and surreal. The show revels in the comedy of life’s mundanity, tangents, and inside jokes. The language is conversational, a little silly, and full of affectionate ribbing—both of each other and the audience.

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Who Should Listen?

Anyone who enjoys gently anarchic, rambling comedy with a focus on life’s small obsessions, the absurdity of adulthood, and truly odd listener interactions. Great for fans of British panel shows, podcasts like “Off Menu,” or anyone looking for comic relief that’s high on charm and low on ego.

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Final Words

A quintessential episode where the offbeat becomes the headline, and even the dullest boiler or bin gets its spot in the limelight. For fans of idiosyncratic, good-natured radio that finds hilarity in the humdrum—and, occasionally, in the French nursery rhyme about a suicidal elephant.

Transcript

[Ed Gamble]

This is a global player original podcast.

[Radio X Announcer]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Radio X.

[Ed Gamble]

Hello, everybody and welcome to the podcast of the radio show that Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby. That's me, and I'm Ed Gamble and he's Ed Gamble. We do it on the radio every Sunday morning and we make a podcast just for you guys and that's what you're listening to right now. Welcome along. So we've had some lovely messages in. Now we're back to having some since obviously last week there were no messages because all the messages Vin refused to send me. Yes, because they were my technique, my old. My original technique. But there's none of those in here. Luckily enough we've had a lovely message in from Morgan who says, dear Crunch Crumble and producer Vincero. Vincero, Vince. Dear Happy radio. Don't mind if I do.

[Matthew Crosby]

Don't mind if I do. Don't mind if I do.

[Ed Gamble]

How are you doing? Yeah, not too bad, thanks. How are you? Been better. Had the flu for weeks now. God, it's a lot of. There's a lot of stuff to get a lot of stuff going around. Yeah. In preparation for the Big Show 342 this week, I've gone back and started listening to all of the podcast episodes from the beginning and have come across a couple of text topics that I didn't catch at the time. Great.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, lovely. We love this because I've got this in front of me as well and I don't remember half of them.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't want. I remember. No, I do remember two of them, but I don't remember the first two. Yes or no? He said yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you not remember that one?

[Ed Gamble]

Don't remember.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's one of the only text topics I remember because I felt like we'd hit rock bottom.

[Producer Vin]

That was live.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, that was live. Obviously that's being snipped out. That's not making it through a pre record edit or.

[Ed Gamble]

No's a good one, man. Have we done no or yes? Because it might be worth. Might be worth flipping.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, we're fine this week.

[Ed Gamble]

We've got a text in this week. Have you ever seen an owl? Yes. One day my cat. Cat brought an owl into the kitchen. The cat was very proud of herself. The owl was not happy. But we managed to get it back outside unharmed.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, how did it bring it in then? Surely just on its back like. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Sitting on a little saddle.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I mean, you know what, they start off by playing, don't they?

[Matthew Crosby]

Cats can soft mouth.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, they can soft mouth things. They can play around with it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And it's often not that they've torn it limb from limb, it's often that the animal just as a heart attack and dies.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Anyway, why do streets have odd numbers on one side and even on the other? I remember this. Cause this is when during lockdown I used to push little Gerry Cinnamon around and I used to sort of have a conversation with her where I did both parts and I'd ask myself questions. Then I'd get myself. I'd realise, oh no, your dad's thick. But it helps with navigation. If I'm looking for seven, I need to look on one side of the street. Also, delivery drivers can sort their mail into odd and even and deliver one down one side, then deliver down the other side, which is more efficient.

[Producer Vin]

That's not more efficient. You just have them in order. I think this is my, my problem. I had.

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, no. I think this is more efficient. In other words, you're crossing the road constantly, aren't you?

[Matthew Crosby]

If it just went.

[Producer Vin]

If it went like. If it went from 1 to 10 up one side of the road, you could just go 1 to 10 up that side of the road.

[Matthew Crosby]

You're thinking of the shortest street in the world.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Producer Vin]

No, but you don't, you don't have.

[Matthew Crosby]

To do the street. Are you thinking, Are you saying houses should all be on one side of the street and then what, what's the other side?

[Producer Vin]

I'm saying you do one side of the street and then do the other side of the street.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. What going back. Going back the other way or. Yeah, so you'd have to know.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, but you just have them in order.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, but then you.

[Matthew Crosby]

One to 10 straight and then across the road, 11 to 11 to 20.

[Ed Gamble]

Absolutely. Yeah. No, you're right. You're absolutely right.

[Producer Vin]

I'm right. Everyone's wrong.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Our alligators fish. As Matthew may know, Catholics have rules around eating fish on Fridays. And at various times the Vatican has had to rule on what is or isn't fish. Currently, fish includes shellfish, amphibians and reptiles. So frogs, legs, turtles, and indeed, indeed, alligators are fish. Additionally, various bishops have managed to get beavers, muskrats and capybaras. I classified as fish due to their semi aquatic lifestyle. Hope this helps you two gown. Perverts.

[Matthew Crosby]

They make it up a lot. Make a lot of that stuff up.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, I'm going to tell you one thing. It's all made up. It's all made up, guys.

[Producer Vin]

No, Friday's real.

[Ed Gamble]

Fridays are real. Absolutely Right. Fridays are under construction.

[Matthew Crosby]

Not real.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Friday isn't real.

[Producer Vin]

No. Friday is made up. That's true.

[Ed Gamble]

Everything's made up. It's all made up.

[Producer Vin]

Can something be real and made up? Because Fridays are real. But they are made up.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, the concept of Friday is not real.

[Producer Vin]

Yeah, but Fridays do happen.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Really? I think.

[Ed Gamble]

But do they? They.

[Producer Vin]

That's a good question.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't think we need weeks. I think the numbers are fine.

[Ed Gamble]

And should they go in ascending order and then.

[Matthew Crosby]

No.

[Ed Gamble]

No, you go back down the year? Yeah.

[Producer Vin]

I'll be sad. If they were in descending order, wouldn't.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, wouldn't it?

[Ed Gamble]

Would it?

[Producer Vin]

That made people anxious. If you're counting down.

[Matthew Crosby]

No.

[Ed Gamble]

Counting down.

[Matthew Crosby]

No.

[Ed Gamble]

You're only counting down to Christmas or the, you know, the end of the year, to New Year's Eve.

[Producer Vin]

Oh, we're doing it in years, not just like.

[Matthew Crosby]

And you haven't an Advent calendar for the whole year with 365 doors on it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Not bad, is it?

[Ed Gamble]

It's really good.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

It can't be.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay. What's the date today?

[Ed Gamble]

It can't be a job.

[Matthew Crosby]

What's the date today? It's 72.

[Ed Gamble]

Fine.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

When can I see? Yeah, I can't see you until the sort of mid-200s.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, it's a bit chilly, isn't it? Yeah. Well, it's four. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

It's always chilly.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's always chilly.

[Ed Gamble]

It's an unseasonably warm 17.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

That's all I want to see.

[Matthew Crosby]

What that's like the. That's like the temperature, though.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. Now that is confusing. Yeah. This is from Steve King. This is from Steve King Livington, formerly Teddington, Rains Park, Hartford Rains park, shout out Hertford, Bristol, South Shield and Llandudlow. So he says. Who do I not know who it is? I love the spelling of this, by the way. Giles Bandwidth. Giles Bandwidth. Which, by the way, a phenomenal DJ name.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Really good.

[Matthew Crosby]

Giles Bandwidth.

[Ed Gamble]

Really, really good. Apparently he does good jumpers. Yeah. That's all you need to know.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

That's all you need to know.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's all you need to know.

[Ed Gamble]

I absolutely love him.

[Matthew Crosby]

Of course, Giles Bandwidth.

[Ed Gamble]

Of course I do. And then final, final message. This is from Bettina, who says, dear Ed, Matthew and the artist formerly known as producer Vin. On listening to the intro to this week's show, I came to the realization that Vin is possibly the greatest performance artist of his generation. Who else has shown such commitment to their vision, the dedication to put in years of groundwork, patiently developing the environment necessary to showcase his masterpiece. Like Joseph Beuys, Joaquin Phoenix, or Christian Bale and the Prestige, Vin understood that to fully immerse his audience, he needed to live it, to understand what it really means to be producer of a radio show. What they say you are a producer.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, no.

[Producer Vin]

He's not playing the part.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's playing the part of.

[Ed Gamble]

You are playing it. But you've lived it. You've lived it since your days in student radio, you've lived it.

[Producer Vin]

It's hard to know where the character begins. Obviously.

[Ed Gamble]

That's true.

[Producer Vin]

Where I end.

[Ed Gamble]

In future years, we'll remember where we were when we first heard show 342. Will it be hard to explain to those who aren't yet with us? Well, it's hard to explain to people who are with us now. Or will it be so understood, embedded as it is, into our society's understanding of what it means to be human? That no explanation. Those who have heard it are forever changed. It challenges us to consider whether we can trust the social constructs that we have lived alongside our whole life. Does a commercial radio show turned out so long ago? Well, it's worth sticking around for. Does a commercial radio show need to appeal to its live audience? Should we trust a voiceover to make sense just because it sounds professional? Why are humans so fixated on celebrating round numbers? What constitutes a best bit? I'm not a philosopher or a Guardian critic, so I cannot say with confidence what it is, what this show is about, or how it should be interpreted. But I do not envy those whose job it will be to try. Finn cannot be interpreted. He is unknowable. Also, I assume Crosby was into his.

[Matthew Crosby]

She.

[Ed Gamble]

Trojan horse. An answer in there? Nope, not the answer. It's a rollover to next week. Yours, Bettina. Thank you, Bettina. Thank you very much.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes. It's not the old tail wagging the dog situation with you, is it?

[Ed Gamble]

No, that's not the old tail wagon. They talk. No, no. It's not the. Not the other way around. I've done that. Of course I have. Of course I have.

[Producer Vin]

You haven't heard them. 342, in fact, what she's talking about.

[Ed Gamble]

No, you. You sent it. You sent us the. The blurb of it. Yeah, you sent us the.

[Producer Vin]

But it hasn't been recorded when we. When we recorded that show.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, and I've not gone back and listened to it.

[Producer Vin]

Of course not. Of course you haven't.

[Matthew Crosby]

Why.

[Ed Gamble]

Why would I take that?

[Producer Vin]

So you'll just. You'll never know.

[Ed Gamble]

I guess I'll never know.

[Matthew Crosby]

The great thing about radio is once it's done, it's done.

[Ed Gamble]

Once it's done, it's done. Live telly radio. Brilliant. You never have to think about it. Or actually just the bit that we do anyway. Yeah, because you don't sit down. Anything I do, you don't sit down with. You're not in the edit for uncloaked, are you? You're not in the edit for off menu, any of that kind of stuff.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, absolutely not. And I will never listen or watch back.

[Ed Gamble]

You don't need to.

[Matthew Crosby]

Don't need to.

[Ed Gamble]

I was there loads of other people who are watching that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, it's fine.

[Ed Gamble]

Don't worry about it. Anyway, yes, enjoy the show, folks. We'll see you on the other side.

[Radio X Announcer]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby Ray D.

[Ed Gamble]

O X Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the Ed Gamble Campbell and Matthew Crosby Radio show on Radio X. Now, full disclosure, I've been ill all week, so I haven't had the time or the mental capacity to write an intro, so please forgive me. This week I'm going to use an AI chatbot. So let's have a quick Google for an AI that can do the job. Grok. Oh, yeah, I've heard of that when it was in the news. Right. Can't remember why. Anyway, let's give it a whirl. Good morning, Grok. Please write me an intro for the Ed Gumble and Matthew Crosby Radio show on Radio X. Here we go. The surprisingly muscular Ed Gamble jimmied down his red little pants and squatted directly over the.

[Matthew Crosby]

Grok.

[Ed Gamble]

I can't be reading that. Grok out on the rail. We'll lose our license. Scroll down. Scroll down. With a nasal groan, a puff of thick dust emitted from the end of Matthew Crosby's you don't.

[Matthew Crosby]

So light.

[Ed Gamble]

Grok it, my old friend. It's 8am it's on the Lord's day. Hang on, it's generating an image. Oh, why? Why is producer Vin kneeling? And what am I feeding him from my pocket? It looks like an old piece of Biltong. Zoom in, Corpus Christi.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh.

[Ed Gamble]

Still, at least Taylor Swift looks she's having fun in the background anyway. Delete, delete, delete. Okay, no intro this week, listeners. I am incredibly sorry. Ed, please pour a glass of iced water over my head. And Vin, save the mood by playing the most seclist band you can think of. The most sexless band. A band devoid of any sex appeal whatsoever. Whatever you've Got play them now.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio X.

[Radio X Announcer]

Radio X, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Matthew Crosby]

I bring bad news. Illness has pervaded the studio.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, we're all, we're all coming down with the lurgy. Well, I've had it.

[Matthew Crosby]

You've had it.

[Ed Gamble]

You're on the verge of getting it.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm on the verge of getting it.

[Ed Gamble]

Which means vin is a ticking time.

[Matthew Crosby]

Vin will be next week.

[Ed Gamble]

Vin will be next week.

[Matthew Crosby]

Before we pass it round here at Radio X. Pass the illness to the left hand side, certainly.

[Ed Gamble]

Right. Don't bogart that illness, dude. Yes. Oh, a rotten week of it in our house.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, dear.

[Ed Gamble]

An absolutely rotten week of it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, because of course you have a young family.

[Ed Gamble]

A petri dish.

[Matthew Crosby]

A petri dish or. Yes, it is a petri dish.

[Ed Gamble]

It is, yeah. Very, very much so. Although I was the first one to come down with it. I came down with it and then little Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds, our youngest, she came down with it. Probably about 12 hours later, she's thrown into the sick room. Yeah, of course, one room becomes the sick room.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, by the way, the illness we're referring to is woke up.

[Ed Gamble]

That's right.

[Producer Vin]

I ain't getting that.

[Ed Gamble]

She started using pronouns.

[Matthew Crosby]

Dear me, throw her in the sickness room.

[Ed Gamble]

Did you know we've only just invented this thing, pronouns. They've never been used before. But anyone who uses them has a mind virus.

[Matthew Crosby]

What a confusing language it was before them. Yes. No, I feel like I've got a rotten cold.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, I'm so sorry, mate. I'm really, really sorry.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for you.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. The thing I had when I was unwell didn't have like. It was just a very, very, ach, very sort of prickly feeling on the skin, you know, hot and cold at the same time. And the other thing was a total dissatisfaction with everything in my life, you know, that was very much.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm not sure that was the main linked to the illness, Matthew.

[Ed Gamble]

It was everything. I looked around at every aspect of my. Of my miserable, wretched life and I hated it.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's not the cold, Matthew.

[Ed Gamble]

What's the cold? No, because I came out, I snapped out of it. Yeah, I feel fine now.

[Matthew Crosby]

Are you sure it just wasn't coincidentally a bout of depression whilst he also had a cold?

[Ed Gamble]

I think it was a bit of that, but it's horrible. And currently my wife has got the same thing and she's got the same thing as well. So she's got the same lurgy and now she's like, this sofa's gotta go. She's got a real. It's like your nesting.

[Matthew Crosby]

I hate to break it to you.

[Ed Gamble]

You've got a disgusting sofa.

[Matthew Crosby]

She's always dissatisfied by what's in her life.

[Ed Gamble]

That's not true. We have a very, very happy existence.

[Matthew Crosby]

You do.

[Ed Gamble]

We have a wonderful time. We love our life. It's a very, very sweet life. But when I was lying there in the bed, I thought, why have I got a beard? Why have I got this beard on my face? It's disgusting. And it wasn't like I wasn't snotty or pukey or anything with the beard was getting in the way. It was just like. Just the.

[Matthew Crosby]

Just uncomfortable with everything.

[Ed Gamble]

The very idea of me.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Was anathema to me.

[Matthew Crosby]

Can I tell you why I think I've got a cold? Why can you actually get a cold from being cold?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, yep, in the old movies you could. Like in an old book.

[Matthew Crosby]

But is that based on the truth or not?

[Ed Gamble]

If someone went out walking in the rain, that's when you get your cold. But you went out. You forgot your jacket.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, it was in our house. Our boiler broke last week.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, no.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, it was. Woke up last, couldn't tell you when, and turned the shower on. No. Hot water heating. Wasn't heating.

[Ed Gamble]

Those are the two signs, aren't they?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, boilers. Got the boilerman around. He went, I wouldn't have this boiler in my house.

[Ed Gamble]

All right, mate, but we've got it now. Do you know what?

[Matthew Crosby]

It's an inherited boy. It's an inherited boiler.

[Ed Gamble]

Can I say one thing right? Just any. Any trades person that comes to your house, don't think we're like, really emotionally attached to all the stuff in our house.

[Matthew Crosby]

Right?

[Ed Gamble]

Don't. And don't tell us how badly it's been put in or all of that kind of stuff.

[Matthew Crosby]

All of that.

[Ed Gamble]

We know.

[Matthew Crosby]

Filters on the wrong side, sure. Leaking from there, Leaking from here.

[Ed Gamble]

Everybody else is an idiot. You're the only genius who works in the entire world. Okay, in you come. Tell us all about it.

[Matthew Crosby]

So he said, I can get the hot water back on for you today. So that was good. So we've had hot water, right? It won't do the heating you need. Basically what I would do is I can fix this one, but it'll take a while to get the parts and it'll be expensive. Or you get a whole new boiler, not have to worry about it for a decade. And it will be. I mean, like buying a nice car.

[Ed Gamble]

It's mad. A boiler. Have you seen the size of a boiler? They're tiny.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's like a little nice car.

[Ed Gamble]

They're like a slight, sort of slightly bigger white metal shoe box. And for some reason, that's thousands of pounds.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thousands of pounds, why? So he's done it. He did a really good job. It was finished yesterday. Yes, Everything's working great. And let me tell you, I love that boiler.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, you are. Now you're into it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you. I am so into the boiler. I've been genuinely. Like it's Christmas Day or like it's Christmas Eve now and again. I've just been tiptoeing into the utility room, opening up the cupboard and having a look at the boiler. Woo.

[Ed Gamble]

All right.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's a sweet piece of kit.

[Ed Gamble]

I stand corrected. People do have an emotional connection with their boilers.

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely toasty in the house. Seeing what happens to the numbers on the boiler when I run the hot water, what do they do?

[Ed Gamble]

Go up or down?

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, they go up.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, very exciting. Listen, should we play some wolf Alice, and we'll talk more about our houses later on?

[Matthew Crosby]

Just bear in mind whatever I say today. I'm thinking about that boiler. Sure.

[Radio X Announcer]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby on Radio X. Do you remember the High Street Honeys?

[Matthew Crosby]

So he's installed a carbon monoxide detector next to the boiler.

[Ed Gamble]

Got to have one of those.

[Matthew Crosby]

Gotta have one of those.

[Ed Gamble]

Absolutely.

[Matthew Crosby]

And he said every six months or so, just check to see if the alarm's working. And I think I'm gonna test it every day.

[Ed Gamble]

Why not?

[Matthew Crosby]

Why not?

[Ed Gamble]

Why not? It's fun.

[Matthew Crosby]

But honestly, this boiler's like, oh, I'm not into cars, but I'd imagine this is what it feels like to be into cars.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, it is. It's like a stationary car, isn't it?

[Matthew Crosby]

He wrote on it, though. I don't like that.

[Ed Gamble]

What do you mean? He wrote on it?

[Matthew Crosby]

As in, like, say, like he wrote the date installed. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

What would you have preferred?

[Matthew Crosby]

He did a sticker or something or put it below the boiler rather than. Has he got on the actual boiler?

[Ed Gamble]

Just bad handwriting.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's written it like. No, no, no, it's quite nice handwriting. I mean, he did a great job, but just writing on it, you know, it feels like he's written on a window at a sort of hipster restaurant.

[Ed Gamble]

Right, sure, sure, sure. This is your precious pristine boiler.

[Matthew Crosby]

My beautiful new thing.

[Ed Gamble]

You don't need someone scribbling all over, do you?

[Matthew Crosby]

Like a toddler. Yeah. That's gorgeous, you know?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, it's lovely. I'm proper into it. When I'm having a hot shower, I'm thinking, that boiler's working, it's working away.

[Ed Gamble]

Excuse me, buddy.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, you can see the steam, like, chugging out the side of the house.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, I do like that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Like you're on a.

[Ed Gamble]

You've turned your house into a big train. Choo choo. All aboard. First stop, hot water.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I mean, you could see the steam pumping out the house before, but actually, legally, it wasn't high enough. The pipe. So we've put a new sort of bracket in and a pipe. So, yeah, now you can see it easily.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you know what? Sometimes we don't have anything to talk about on this show. And you know what? When you've had a big week.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, it's been a big week.

[Ed Gamble]

You absolutely light up like a Christmas tree.

[Matthew Crosby]

But I am ill, unfortunately.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, but you know what? A small price to pay.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, I tell you what, I could have a bath, though. That made me feel better.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yes, a lovely steamy bath.

[Radio X Announcer]

Radio X Dead boy and soupy ghost.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, dear. Oh, it's warm this morning. Oh, it's very warm in the house. Oof, toasty. Ah, I remember my shiny new friend chucking away downstairs. Yes. No, I don't have an alcoholic lift with me. And of course, my new boiler. It's warm. It's beautiful. Oh, yes. Ah, but difficult to get out of bed when it's so warm, isn't it? Okay, here we go. What soundtrack can I put on to show how happy I am with my new boiler? Oh, tell you how warm it is. It feels like A night in Texas.

[Ed Gamble]

Come on. Come on, guys, take it. Take a leaf out of the Jasmine's playbook. And it's the notes you're not playing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah. That's just an absolute ball of disgusting. Every note. They played there.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. At once at the same time, all of them doing.

[Matthew Crosby]

Never heard of that band before, but the name made me laugh. A Night in Texas.

[Ed Gamble]

A night in Texas. Yeah. It was Redland of the Alamo there, wasn't. It really was.

[Radio X Announcer]

The old man and the big baby.

[Ed Gamble]

Radio X Ed, how you feeling, man? Are you holding it together?

[Matthew Crosby]

Hey, I always hold it together for this show.

[Ed Gamble]

That's not true.

[Matthew Crosby]

Not true at all. Never held it together. That's the key. When you start work, never, ever put your best foot forward because then people assume that's your best foot.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. It's like the old. The old urban legend about the, you know, having your Passport photo taken when you're really, really hungover.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

You know, so that when they pull you over and they look at it and they go, oh, yeah, they're. There you are. You look as rotten as. As the photo.

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't think I've ever heard that.

[Ed Gamble]

Have you not heard that before?

[Producer Vin]

Who pulls you over? What are you talking about?

[Ed Gamble]

When the. When the. When the feds pull you over and go, what?

[Matthew Crosby]

To check. How sexy.

[Producer Vin]

To check. How. How hung up.

[Ed Gamble]

No, to check because like, if you drive, you know, if you're driving around all liquored up, right.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, I.

[Ed Gamble]

Driving around. It turns out he looks just like that anyway.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, I wouldn't.

[Producer Vin]

Looking how you look when you're hungover and how you look when you're drunk are different. Anyway.

[Matthew Crosby]

So are you saying get your passport photo done when you're drunk?

[Ed Gamble]

Listen, I'm not saying any of it. I'm not saying any of this.

[Producer Vin]

You shouldn't be advocating drink driving anyway.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't advocate. I don't drink and I barely drive, so I'm. Listen, my rap sheet is clean. Anyway, we're not here to talk about that. We're here to talk about how well you are and your new boiler. But, Ed, your new boiler inspired a texter idea.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes. I never expected, Matthew, in my life, one of my main passions would be my new boiler.

[Ed Gamble]

No.

[Matthew Crosby]

And I think as we all.

[Ed Gamble]

Cause you're a cool rock rock dude.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm a cool rock dude.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

As we all get older, we have some surprising new hobbies and interests.

[Ed Gamble]

That's right.

[Matthew Crosby]

And obsessions and fascinations.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, indeed.

[Matthew Crosby]

So I want to hear from the listener. Do they have any that they never expected to have?

[Ed Gamble]

I never expected to be into this, but now I am.

[Matthew Crosby]

Unexpected Passions.

[Ed Gamble]

I like that, by the way, which.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is also my new book, Unexpected Passions. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I think that my new romance novel. I'd love to see you write a sort of it. Erotic.

[Matthew Crosby]

Sure.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, Mills and Boonie type used to.

[Matthew Crosby]

Be a character that I did on stage. You did as well, didn't you, romantic novelist Selston Krupp. Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you ever dust off Krupp?

[Matthew Crosby]

I don't dust off Krupp, unfortunately.

[Ed Gamble]

By the way, there's nothing I don't enjoy about the name Selston Krupp.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, Krupp was. That was taken a little peek into my past. The name Krupp was taken by a Frank Butcher impersonator from Frank Butcher impersonator that me and my friend Murray were obsessed with this website that had like, looky Likeies.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yes. I love anything like that.

[Matthew Crosby]

And one of our favourites was the Mike Reed Frank Butcher impersonator. He could hire for parties. And his name was Ricky Krupp.

[Ed Gamble]

And would Ricky Krupp. The big question is Ricky C. Does.

[Matthew Crosby]

Ricky K. Oh, actually, no, it might have been C, but I think I changed it.

[Ed Gamble]

You changed it as a nod to Beckett Krupp's last tape, of course. But does Krupp. If you're hiring a Krupp, are you getting. Do the. The spinning bow tie?

[Matthew Crosby]

I mean, I'd imagine that's the first thing. He turns up naked with a spinning bow tie on.

[Ed Gamble]

Of course he does. Yeah, of course he does. And then of course he weeps. That's the other thing. You've got to have him weeping by the end of the night.

[Matthew Crosby]

Or does he do the opening of one of Mike Reed's stand up specials?

[Ed Gamble]

Okay, here we go.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, do you not remember this?

[Ed Gamble]

Is this the one where he's got this Queen Vic set up on the.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, no, the coffin. Oh, he's lying in a coffin and then the first thing you see is. Then he gets a interaction. It pops up and everyone cheers because.

[Ed Gamble]

Famously aroused by death. My Reed. That was one of his things. We always think of the spinning bow tie and the fact that he got aroused by his death.

[Matthew Crosby]

As an artist, do you ever watch something and think, I'm in awe of this guy, but I'm annoyed I didn't think of it.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Because you've got a tour coming up. Yeah, you've got a tour just around the corner. You're trying new material. I'd love to see you popping out of a coffin. In every sense.

[Matthew Crosby]

In every sense.

[Ed Gamble]

In every sense.

[Matthew Crosby]

Anyway, yeah, we want to know unexpected passion, but you know what we mean. Unexpected passions. You know what we mean.

[Ed Gamble]

That was a bad. We've set up some texts badly before, but that was one of our worst.

[Radio X Announcer]

Radio X, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Ed Gamble]

What? Did you never expect you'd get into.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hobbies that have snuck up on you?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, indeed. Like, because you're. Are you calling your boiler your hobby?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, at the moment it's my main hobby.

[Ed Gamble]

It may not be.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's my main interest. It's your main boiler. Yeah, yeah, we've got some great ones. I mean, look, this is on the same sort of top because the boiler Jo has said my lovely new dishwasher door pops open when she's finished and I congratulate her every time.

[Ed Gamble]

Absolutely right. Absolutely right. I think there's A lot to be said for anthropomorphizing your kitchen appliances and making it seem, especially if you work from home and you're the only one in the house, you've got to populate your world a little bit.

[Matthew Crosby]

You've got to talk to something, haven't you?

[Ed Gamble]

You've simply got to talk to something. And what's the alternative? Talking to an AI Chatbot? No, thank you.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, thank you. Talk to the dishwasher.

[Ed Gamble]

Talk to the dishwasher instead. And they gurgle back. Dragon Backed has said, hey, Crunch Crumble, Adam here. In fact, he's Adam. It's called Dragon Backed, but still Adam here, something I never thought I'd have an interest in is glass. So I went to see it being blown just over 10 years ago now. For nearly 10 years, I assist a glassblower making glass items.

[Matthew Crosby]

Now, I'm so on board with this because I had a couple of months where I was thinking I might give it all up and try and become a glassblower.

[Ed Gamble]

Really?

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, obviously. I mean, since I saw Blown Away, the Netflix reality competition show.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

About glass blowers. I'd imagine after that came out, there was a huge influx of people interested in glassblowing.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Like after the Queen's Gambit, all the sales of chessboards went straight, Straight through the roof. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Queen's Gambit the game.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, Queen's Gambit the game.

[Matthew Crosby]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

The board game version of the show. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

I got really into drugs after that. That was, that was my thing. I got, I think, the wrong takeaway. Chess seems boring, but doing a load of drugs. Wowee.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, please.

[Matthew Crosby]

I. I just think. Think it look. Certainly in that show, they make it look kind of sexy. Everyone's a bit sweaty and strong.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. There's. There's a lot of like, you know, it's. In fact, it's quite sort of metal coded as well, isn't it? You know, fire, fire, a gauntlet, all of that kind of stuff. Yeah, it's very Rob Halford.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, it's. It also, it seems to teach them a lot about being Zen and about approaching life in the right way because they'll spend hours making these beautiful things and they tough. Tap the pipe wrong.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And then it smashes on the floor and they go, right, okay, get on with it. Another one. Yep.

[Ed Gamble]

Just try again.

[Matthew Crosby]

No point. No point having a tantrum.

[Ed Gamble]

All of.

[Matthew Crosby]

All of your. Maybe I'll do some glass blowing lessons because I'm having a midlife crisis.

[Ed Gamble]

You really are. But you're Definitely there's something to do with heat at the moment. Oh, yeah, You've had a cold and now it's boilers.

[Matthew Crosby]

I just want hot.

[Ed Gamble]

I just want hot things near you. Have a cheese toasty, for goodness sake. Chill out.

[Matthew Crosby]

I did have a cheese toasty.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, they aren't.

[Matthew Crosby]

I had a bit of Joel Dommet as cheese Toasty. We were at a gig and he ordered one.

[Ed Gamble]

Fine. I thought you were one of those sados who bought it off of ebay. I'm making an absolute killing, by the way. He's never even seen him. He's never even touched him. Actually. This is what he was nibbling on when he was revealing who was inside the goldfish head.

[Matthew Crosby]

I love this from Abdul. Morning, guys. My unexpected passion is building small things like bird houses. I first did it at secondary years. Secondary years ago. Secondary school, I'd imagine. And loved it ever since. Thank you, Abdul. That's great. I love to hear about the bird houses.

[Ed Gamble]

Someone building a birdhouse. Yeah. There's something. Do you know what? There's something. It's something incredibly hard to put too.

[Matthew Crosby]

Fine a point on it.

[Ed Gamble]

Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet, Abdul. There's something very wholesome about all of this. There is the glass blowing. You know, it's.

[Matthew Crosby]

And.

[Ed Gamble]

And it's.

[Matthew Crosby]

So I'd like to say thank you to Andy, who keeps texting in about something else. But we're not going to say that you're into that.

[Ed Gamble]

We're not reading it.

[Matthew Crosby]

We're not reading it. So we're going to keep it wholesome today, Andy. So please stop saying you're into fur.

[Ed Gamble]

Listen, we had a great chuckle here. We were listening to the music. We were bopping around. We were laughing at your messages. They're not getting read out on the.

[Matthew Crosby]

They're not getting read out because you didn't need to explain what they were.

[Ed Gamble]

We know what they are. We are them. But that we keep those two parts of our lives separate.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. I think there's something to do with as well. Nature and, you know, glassblowing. It's trusting the elements, isn't it?

[Matthew Crosby]

Rivet, man. Kathy. Rivet.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay. Rivets.

[Matthew Crosby]

Rivets is great. Trains. Never thought I'd be into them. I've just written a university essay about posters for trains in the 1920s, 20s and 30s and just got a funding grant to do a piece of character comedy where I play different train companies.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

I've not been diagnosed with anything. Thank you, Kathy Rivett.

[Ed Gamble]

This is why the arts funding must be cut. Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Radio X Announcer]

Vroom, vroom and honk, honk.

[Ed Gamble]

This one from Kirk, he says it's James in Portsmouth, by the way, but everybody calls me Kirk.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you, Kirk.

[Ed Gamble]

Hello, Kirk. I'm a 36 year old guy and about three months ago developed a bit of an obsession with skincare.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, I love this.

[Ed Gamble]

Now we've talked about this on the past because you don't have. You don't have a routine or do you developed one?

[Matthew Crosby]

I've got a routine.

[Ed Gamble]

You've got a routine. Now you've changed it around.

[Matthew Crosby]

Have you heard of cleanse, tone, serum, moisturize?

[Ed Gamble]

No, I've not heard of any of those guys.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, and that's why you look like an old bag. No, you look lovely.

[Ed Gamble]

I do look like.

[Matthew Crosby]

You look lovely.

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, no, no, I do, I do. I do cleanse and I do moisturize, but that's about as far as I go.

[Matthew Crosby]

You got to get into the toning and serum.

[Ed Gamble]

Toning and serum. I'm contouring as well.

[Matthew Crosby]

World.

[Ed Gamble]

Draw a big dark line down the.

[Matthew Crosby]

Middle of my nose. Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

One of my cheeks. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

You've got to, you've got to blend it.

[Ed Gamble]

No, I refuse to refute to. I call it my war paint.

[Matthew Crosby]

You look like you've just come from the fun fair.

[Ed Gamble]

Anyway, I've gone from not knowing about what a moisturizer is to having a PhD in all the ingredients and a full and a fully researched and thought through routine.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, SPF as well. I do SPF as well.

[Ed Gamble]

Sorry? My moisturizer has SPF.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, it won't be good enough. You need separate SPF.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you? Do you honestly? Really? It's SPF 50.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, but I don't know. They did a big test on things recently and apparently they're not. The SPF is like they tested some 50 plus SPFs and they're like 10, 7 or something.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, no, it's already expensive. And anyway, it doesn't matter.

[Matthew Crosby]

I really like this when Kirk says this. I love it. The texture and how it makes you feel.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, he's really got into it as Kirk. It all started after I got a tattoo and, and looked into how I should look after it. I'm that unhinged that I've been. That I've been watching videos online about it and I love it. Yes, but you should love it. Why not? It's your biggest organ as well, isn't it? That's what they say.

[Matthew Crosby]

Speak for yourself.

[Ed Gamble]

Because I forgot yours. Is massive but it's not covered in skin.

[Matthew Crosby]

Red, raw.

[Ed Gamble]

It looks like they hit the front of a Cannibal Corpse ep, doesn't it? Absolutely disgusting.

[Producer Vin]

Have you seen Andy's beauty regime that she's not?

[Ed Gamble]

No, no. Can we block Andy, by the way? I'm so sorry. I don't want to know.

[Matthew Crosby]

He said my routine is brush, brush, brush, clean.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, but you know he's brushing a big furry tail. Yeah, that's what he's brushing anyway.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank you. He's got paintbrushes, isn't he's Andy the painter.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, but where is he attaching those?

[Matthew Crosby]

He's dipping his whole body in white.

[Ed Gamble]

Spirit and having someone roll him on the ceiling. Have you got one over there.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is from Joe Whip. Hi. My passion is relatively new and it's more of an obsession, a love hate obsession. It's with my Fitbit, which gives me. And what it gives me is a sleep duration each morning. Yeah. You don't want to fall into this trap. Eight hours is my love and fitty gives me. Fitty gives me lots of small awake periods when I feel like I've had a good night's sleep is my hate. 6 hours 37 mins from 9 hours in bed. Horse doings.

[Ed Gamble]

Horse doings indeed. Joe.

[Matthew Crosby]

We've fallen out but I keep going back for my eight hour fix. Thanks. Thanks, Joe.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. Any of the stuff that sort of gamifies normal stuff in your life. Anything that can gamify your normal life.

[Matthew Crosby]

Especially with sleep, where you have to be relaxed and not be obsessed with it.

[Ed Gamble]

Have you ever used one of those things where it records what you're saying in your sleep?

[Matthew Crosby]

Absolutely.

[Ed Gamble]

Have you? Well, you've got to generate some new material for this.

[Matthew Crosby]

I do have something that records what I say when I sleep and it's called My Wife. She'll always let me know.

[Ed Gamble]

What kind of stuff do you chat about? About.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's all nonsense really.

[Ed Gamble]

There's never. Never a fully formed routine.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, her. I wish. Imagine her. Her sleep talkings when we first started going out were incredible. Like she'd do film synopsis and stuff. She told me all about Meet Me in Sir Louis once. She was bang on. No. She was like, oh. And then this bit happens.

[Ed Gamble]

She'll give you some trivia.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Yeah. And I looked it up the next morning. I was like, oh, that is actually what happens. And meet me in St. Louis.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a gorgeous thing, movie.

[Matthew Crosby]

It is. I've seen it since.

[Ed Gamble]

You got a great trailer.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

It's almost Subliminal. You're half asleep, you listen to the plot for Meet Me and so you've got to watch it the next day.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

This is from Sarah in Northumberland who says, stockpiling tins of tuna and various mixed beans. I think it's apocalypse related.

[Matthew Crosby]

It sounds like it, yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you know what? It's very. As well. It's got a lot to do with, you know, being someone who lived through lockdown.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't. I don't think we ever have less than about 200 rolls of toilet paper in our house since sort of early 2020.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, we. Yeah, we're the same. But that's because we signed up to the toilet paper delivery service which thinks.

[Ed Gamble]

You'Ve got more buttholes than you have.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, yeah, I guess it was because we signed up in lockdown and we. So we were always in the house and now it looks like my hobby is going. Going for a big old, big old one.

[Ed Gamble]

Looking at the boiler.

[Matthew Crosby]

Tuna and mixed beans. That's not going to be a very fragrant apocalypse, is it?

[Ed Gamble]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, then.

[Radio X Announcer]

This is the Radio X heyday.

[Matthew Crosby]

Hi, guys. My recent unexpected hobby has become taking note of the different types of stone the buildings in my area are made of. Very interesting. Once you start to look. I love that. And by the way, Jackson, that's not true. It's not interesting at all. No. But it's interesting to you.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Why? These hobbies are important.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. Yes. Nobody wants you to say, do you know, fun fact. That's limestone.

[Matthew Crosby]

No one wants that.

[Ed Gamble]

No one cares. Nobody cares. But go for your life.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

And love it. And you should. Now, this is from Peter Knowles, who says, happy radio, lads. Don't mind if I do. My most recent unexpected passion is driverless cars. It's quite expensive passion.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

I loathe AI and truly believe human jobs should be preserved at all costs. Okay, but. And it's a big butt.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a big but.

[Ed Gamble]

I spent Christmas in LA and good Lord, there is nothing better than getting into a Waymo. A bit tipsy talking to it like it's a sentient being and whacking on Cher's Christmas album. The Bluetooth speakers. Love you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, that does sound good.

[Ed Gamble]

It does sound.

[Matthew Crosby]

Going to be in LA soon and you're going to.

[Ed Gamble]

You can get into a way.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm going to get into a Waymo, even if I don't need to get into a way.

[Ed Gamble]

Get into a Waymo or lick it up and play the show's Christmas I mean, you're going to be there a little bit after the season.

[Matthew Crosby]

I'm going to be quite lonely as well, because I'll be by myself on tour, so maybe I'll make friends with the Waymo.

[Ed Gamble]

You can have a little Waymo friend.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

This is great. Do you know what?

[Matthew Crosby]

Maybe I'll see if I can see how far I can get it to take me.

[Producer Vin]

Do you mean like geographically?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Not emotionally. Physically?

[Producer Vin]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You'd be like Knight Rider.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

With a talking car.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Oh, really?

[Ed Gamble]

Great. I mean, wait, I should just say, they don't talk back, do they? Do they talk back? They must say something to you.

[Matthew Crosby]

They probably go like, shut up or something.

[Radio X Announcer]

CRUNCH AND CRUMBLE Radio X. Is this a riddle or is this a nightmare?

[Matthew Crosby]

An anonymous texter.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Unless their name is bliss. Turning 40 this month gained a fascination with bins. We even have an app where I live that tells you which one is getting collected. Bliss.

[Ed Gamble]

It is fun.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's a. It makes me angry.

[Ed Gamble]

Does it? Well, go on, go on, go on. Let's go a bit LBC on this.

[Matthew Crosby]

It was absolutely fine. The system.

[Ed Gamble]

What was the system for?

[Matthew Crosby]

Once a week. Yep. Recycling and rubbish gets collected.

[Ed Gamble]

All the same stuff. All the same recycling. All the same. Because we have two different recyclings on a rotating.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, nice. We have a recycling bin. Food waste bin.

[Ed Gamble]

Yep.

[Matthew Crosby]

Garden waste and rubbish. We don't have a garden waste bin because we never do anything with the garden.

[Ed Gamble]

Fair enough.

[Matthew Crosby]

Food waste. A little horrible bin.

[Ed Gamble]

Disgusting caddy.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. And then they just chuck that on the floor and it breaks.

[Ed Gamble]

Yep. And the foxes get to it.

[Matthew Crosby]

The foxes love it. Of course they do. Dinner time. So just basically the green recycling bin and the plastic black refuse bin.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

And then for some reason, no change in council tax. We're only doing the refuse once every fortnight now.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, that's what we're on. That's what we're on.

[Matthew Crosby]

Once a fortnight, recycling, recyclings. Once a week.

[Ed Gamble]

I've had to buy an extra bin.

[Matthew Crosby]

Have you?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Will they let you do that?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, of course. No one's stopping me buying a bin.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, anyway, over Christmas.

[Ed Gamble]

Sorry, I know it's Sadiq can't thunder, but we haven't got to that point just yet. I could have two bins if I want. Two bins. Bins.

[Matthew Crosby]

Of course I could have two wheelie bins.

[Ed Gamble]

No, they're two, like, lift the lid type bins.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, that's all bins.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, it's a very good point. Yes. I'm trying all right.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I've got one of those. I've got one of those. Lower the bottom bins where you have to push in the bottom, pull out a hatchet, flip it over again.

[Ed Gamble]

All right. Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

So lift the link bin.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't. Listen, I don't know. It's not a wheelie bin, it's a wheeler spin.

[Matthew Crosby]

Okay. Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

So no is the answer anyway.

[Matthew Crosby]

Sorry. It turns out I'm obsessed with bins and I'm turning 40 in two months.

[Ed Gamble]

It's a complicated system for us. Cause it's refuse and cardboard one week and paper and all that kind of stuff. And then it is no refuse and glass and plastics. And it's always composting, it's always food waste. But then the garden waste is Tuesday. Not even on the Friday like the rest of it. A Tuesday. A random Tuesday every fortnight.

[Matthew Crosby]

What I would say about our show is, even if it's bad, it's often excitingly bad. You know what I mean? Thrillingly. This is the most boring radio we've ever done in our lives.

[Ed Gamble]

I know.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And I love it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I've never felt more comfortable on the air than when we're talking about just absolute dross. We should be recycled. We should be put in a bin.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

One with a lid.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Just shut it.

[Matthew Crosby]

To see in two weeks.

[Radio X Announcer]

Bin Man, Robbie J and the Machine.

[Ed Gamble]

Radio A.

[Matthew Crosby]

Alanis Morissette on Radio X with Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, of course.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed. I found out something this week.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And it's actually.

[Matthew Crosby]

Are you gonna try and pass this text off as your own?

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, no. Yeah. We could do this if you like. Yes, yes, yes. The Alanis Morissette fact. That wasn't the thing I found out this week. I'll tell you about the thing I found out this week later in the show. But, yeah, according to Tim. Language. Her father's name was Alan, so he named her after himself.

[Matthew Crosby]

Alanis being the female version of Alan.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. As opposed to Alana or something like that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

He obviously wanted a son, you might think. Well, she has an older brother named Wayne.

[Matthew Crosby]

Lovely.

[Ed Gamble]

But he's also really big into fishing as well.

[Radio X Announcer]

Radio X, Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Ed Gamble]

We were chatting on this. WhatsApp. WhatsApp. Threads and pals. Chatting about, you know, these remittance checks you get, these little remittance payments you get. And so sometimes you'll do. You'll do a job, you'll get paid for it, and then it'll get.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is in the world of entertainment.

[Ed Gamble]

In the world of entertainment. Yeah. It'll get repeated on a channel years down the line.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Some channel, you know, in Sweden or whatever. And for some reason they need to then contact everybody who worked on it and send them a little bit of money and it'll often be such a tiny pittance, you think, why did you even bother? So we were sort of comparing. Comparing each other and sometimes these are, you know, sometimes these are quite big shows, but, you know, very, very small, you know, getting two or three pounds doing an episode of Miranda or something like that. So I thought, I've definitely got a few of these and they'll all be through my old agent. So I Googled Google. My. My old agent Googled your.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's online, is it? Your payments?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah. I Gmail my email. I Gmailed my old agent. Yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

You searched your email?

[Ed Gamble]

I searched my email using the Google. The Google Gmail search.

[Producer Vin]

Right. I genuinely didn't understand.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Producer Vin]

What was happening there.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. I. Well, I'm happy to translate. Search disease.

[Producer Vin]

You're a math theorist.

[Ed Gamble]

I went into the. I went into the Gmail app.

[Matthew Crosby]

App.

[Ed Gamble]

Gmail app.

[Matthew Crosby]

Just say you search your email.

[Ed Gamble]

Anyway, I searched through my emails and I managed to find a £1 77 payment.

[Matthew Crosby]

Lovely.

[Ed Gamble]

So I thought, great, I'll have a look at this. What's this for? It started, of course, as a slightly larger payment. The agent, of course, takes the fees. Still taking fees, even at a tiny amount. That's the way they work.

[Matthew Crosby]

It must at least done automatically.

[Ed Gamble]

Absolutely. So £1 77. I thought, well, what's this for? And it was for. Something had been shown in Belgium. Right. And it was a production called Ms. Fisher's Murder Mysteries, episode one. For my part, playing the role of Butcher George.

[Matthew Crosby]

Right.

[Ed Gamble]

I thought, well, I don't got no memory of that. And you think I was playing Butcher George in. In the Miss Fisher Murder mysteries in Belgium.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is it a Belgian show?

[Ed Gamble]

No, it was. I believe it's. I think it's an Aussie show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I did a little bit of research and I went to Google, I went to the Google offices and I knocked on the door and said, could you search this for me, please?

[Matthew Crosby]

They've got it all written down.

[Ed Gamble]

It's like the Simpsonian.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Could I go in and pour through? I'll put on the white gloves and pour through some of the documents, but, yes. So, yeah, Belgium, they showed the Miss Fisher murder mysteries. I Googled it and it was an Australian show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Wrong. Matthew Crosby. So you've got Now, So, yeah, so I got paid.

[Matthew Crosby]

So someone called Matthew Crosby played Butcher George in the Miss Fisher Mysteries, one.

[Ed Gamble]

Of the great theater practitioners out of Melbourne, Australia. Now I've found him on Instagram.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

2 pound 50.

[Matthew Crosby]

A.

[Ed Gamble]

2 pound 59 eventually came to me via the agent.

[Matthew Crosby]

You know, including that. Do they advert.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, the. The vats. And the vats included all of that. The agent's fees have been taken off. Do I get in touch with him? Do I. Because I. This is not my money. This is not my money.

[Matthew Crosby]

First of all, you need to search on your email on the Gmail.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

If this has happened before. Because if it turns out you owe him thousands of pounds, that's a very.

[Ed Gamble]

Good. Well, by the way, it's not gonna be thousands of pounds. It's gonna be. Yeah. I mean, actually, he's worked loads.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. What if you're getting paid loads and.

[Ed Gamble]

I just keep seeing these little payments.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Piddly little amounts of money. I mean, sorry, I don't sound gauche or anything. Of course. Money is money. It's nice to earn it. But I didn't earn it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And this is. Should I. Yeah, you're right.

[Matthew Crosby]

We know the situation. Our friends Max and Ivan were paid for an entire tour.

[Ed Gamble]

Somebody else else's.

[Matthew Crosby]

Somebody else's tour.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, it wasn't there. The story as well, of, like, Tom Hollander got paid Tom Holland's fee.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's funny.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't know how that mistake gets made.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, it's just autocomplete.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. He got paid and he was like, oh, yeah, there's money in the mcu. There's some. You know, why am I messing with.

[Matthew Crosby]

Tom Hollander was the last person to realize there's money in the mcu.

[Ed Gamble]

But, yeah, yeah, you're right.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm gonna have to go through Google.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

But I do feel. I feel so bad for this guy.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Because there must have been a situation where he rocks up to a Melbourne coffee shop. He's like, pats his pocket. Nah, I can't afford it now and.

[Matthew Crosby]

Again I get like a quid for something as well. Yeah, yeah, it's fine now. Back when I wasn't earning a lot of money and I get a quid for something, a remittance has come through, and then you see 15% gone to the agent. You're like, guys, come on, come on. Absolutely taking care of me. Come on.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm a charity case here.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Radio X Announcer]

Radio X. Matthew Crosby and Edward.

[Matthew Crosby]

Joe on Radio X. It's the Bloke from Stranger Things.

[Ed Gamble]

It is the bloke from Stranger Things.

[Matthew Crosby]

Soon we won't think that.

[Ed Gamble]

Do you think he's gonna.

[Matthew Crosby]

I think he's having such a good music career. I think we're gonna be like, oh, he was in that show, wasn't he? Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

What was that show called? Yeah, the Funny Things.

[Producer Vin]

He's the new Kylie.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes. I think he's the new Kylie.

[Ed Gamble]

Joe is the new Kylie. You're here first, Jimmy Nail.

[Producer Vin]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Jomy Nail, as we like to call it. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Do a version of Crocodile Shoes. Joe Shoes. That's good, actually, Joe. Well, that's next week's intro sorted. It's all on.

[Matthew Crosby]

The time is on mine.

[Ed Gamble]

He didn't do fog on the tide.

[Matthew Crosby]

They all did it. They've all done it.

[Ed Gamble]

That was Linda's farning gas.

[Matthew Crosby]

They've all done it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, they have all done it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Anton. Deck.

[Ed Gamble]

Ant and Deck.

[Matthew Crosby]

Let's Get Ready to Rumble.

[Ed Gamble]

My favorite antideck song has to be we're on the Ball. Do you remember they did that?

[Matthew Crosby]

I like it. But nothing's better than let's Get Ready to Rumble.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Watch us rug them. Microtike.

[Ed Gamble]

This is a good. This is a good character, by the way.

[Matthew Crosby]

Very rarely do I go on a riff that Matthew doesn't enjoy, but Vin's on board with. This is not normally this. No, no, no. You're staring at me in, I'd say, sort of slight, perturbed angle. Vin is loving this.

[Ed Gamble]

Finn is enjoying it very, very much.

[Radio X Announcer]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Radio X.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, it said, gamble and Matthew Crosby on Radio X heading. Oh, no.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. We need you for the last hour, Ed. We need you for the last hour. Vin said, can you do the top of hour here? And Ed said, yes, I can. And of course, what he meant was, no, I can't. I'm about to die.

[Matthew Crosby]

Right.

[Ed Gamble]

Please stay with me.

[Matthew Crosby]

Danny Wallace. Coming.

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We've got. We've got a whole show today.

[Matthew Crosby]

We'll play the emergency tape.

[Ed Gamble]

We can't play the emergency tape.

[Matthew Crosby]

Play the emergency.

[Ed Gamble]

We cannot play the emergency.

[Matthew Crosby]

We recorded it ages ago.

[Ed Gamble]

Let's play Green Day. Let's put. I'm gonna put you in the recovery position. Let's. Let's play quick.

[Matthew Crosby]

Just.

[Ed Gamble]

Just play Green Day Radio X.

[Matthew Crosby]

Ed.

[Ed Gamble]

Gamble and Matthew Crosby on ra.

[Radio X Announcer]

Fire in the Booth.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah. Flo and the Mac here on radio.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah. That was so bad, man.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah. That was Flow and the Mac on radio. Do you know what? Sometimes I have to sort of just look straight ahead and not see you in my periphery cringing at every word that comes out my mouth.

[Matthew Crosby]

Maybe you should be looking at me to work out what you should say.

[Ed Gamble]

I think. Oh, yeah is a cool thing to say.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah. Flow and the Mac.

[Ed Gamble]

I think it's cool, man.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I suppose so.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thanks. Guess what? I just went downstairs to go toilet and get some water.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Cause you gotta go downstairs and see if all the building works. Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Danny and the team are down there already.

[Ed Gamble]

What are they doing down there? Planning the show.

[Producer Vin]

They're listening. Steve's been texting me.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

What?

[Matthew Crosby]

So we listen to your show.

[Ed Gamble]

I didn't think anyone was listening to this.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. And now you just said, oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, no.

[Producer Vin]

Steve talking about how much he likes the music.

[Ed Gamble]

I'll thank it. It's for that. I forgot about the music.

[Matthew Crosby]

That is the ultimate insult to a radioaction.

[Ed Gamble]

Absolutely. It's the same music they play on every show.

[Matthew Crosby]

I like the music. Right, okay. You've got all the music on CD from 1996.

[Ed Gamble]

We've got to work on the. You've got a Shine compilation, haven't you? We've got to work on our. We've got to work on our content.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's too late.

[Ed Gamble]

Should we do Metal Education?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

From a lacerin in the sky radio.

[Matthew Crosby]

This is from David. And of course, Metal Education is a quiz that we do regularly. Where. Well, not actually that regularly.

[Ed Gamble]

It's been ages.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's been ages. The listeners send them in. It's a list of things from a category. You have to work out which are real, which are fake. Matthew.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, I do.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. A bit of a general description of it. Is that what you were chuckling at?

[Ed Gamble]

I'm still laughing. Oh, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah. Anyway, Metal Education. Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

I won't give too much background. He's given a long background as to how he came up with this. But we are just gonna go straight into the idea. Let's do it. A Metal Education. I've attached a list of 12 French nursery rhymes with English translations and short summaries.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay. Okay. Who's this from, by the way?

[Matthew Crosby]

David.

[Ed Gamble]

David. David. Hello, David.

[Matthew Crosby]

David. He's also David. So he said there's some absurd French nursery rhymes out there. So you have to work out which are real, which are fake.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you think you'd be good at this?

[Ed Gamble]

I don't know.

[Matthew Crosby]

Cause you've got kids, Right? You must be singing yes, but they're not French.

[Ed Gamble]

There was a period when we did think that little Jerry Cinnamon was French because she spoke with a French accent. She had a sort of short period where she spoke with a French accent, but it was just, you know, the classic cultural appropriation of the young. They just don't understand. You're not allowed to do that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Number one. La Dione vicieuse.

[Radio X Announcer]

Number one. Penis flytrap.

[Matthew Crosby]

And the English translation is the Vicious Venus Flytrap.

[Ed Gamble]

Vicious Venus Flytrap.

[Matthew Crosby]

Summary. A mischievous Venus flytrap hides in the garden, snapping at anyone who gets too curious. Especially men who get too close. Its sharp jaws give them a painful surprise.

[Radio X Announcer]

Number one. Penis flytrap.

[Matthew Crosby]

There we go. So that's what we're getting. We're getting the title, we're getting the English translation, and we're getting the summary of what happens in the nursery rhyme, Matthew. And you're going to tell us if they're real or fake.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

Number two. La Poupet qui pluret.

[Ed Gamble]

La Poupet qui pluret.

[Matthew Crosby]

Apologies for my accent throughout this, by the way.

[Ed Gamble]

No, don't apologize.

[Matthew Crosby]

You sound good pronunciation. English Is the Doll that Cried. Summary. A doll comes to life and cries whenever someone is naughty. One day, it floods the nursery with its tears, leaving the children fighting for their lives.

[Ed Gamble]

These could be horror movies, by the way.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, right. I mean, I'd say that both of those things. Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, great.

[Matthew Crosby]

You got that one down.

[Ed Gamble]

Doll that Cried.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Number three. J. Du Bon Tabac. English I have Good Tobacco Summary. The singer brags about having good tobacco in their snuff box but refuses to share.

[Ed Gamble]

It was a different time.

[Matthew Crosby]

It was a different time. But is that a real nursery rhyme or is it fake?

[Ed Gamble]

I have good tobacco.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Producer Vin]

Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

Number four. Une elephant qui c' est balancer.

[Ed Gamble]

The balancing elephant.

[Matthew Crosby]

A hanging elephant.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, no.

[Matthew Crosby]

An elephant hangs on a spider web. His friends come along and eventually there are five of them.

[Producer Vin]

Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, that sounds fun.

[Matthew Crosby]

Number five. La Marchant de Verre. The Worm Merchant.

[Ed Gamble]

You played them on that alarm call, haven't you? Worm Merchants.

[Matthew Crosby]

A mysterious merchant sells jars of worms that seem harmless until they escape, causing chaos in a school.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

Number six. Ah. Le crocadil.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay, I can't.

[Matthew Crosby]

The Crocodiles.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

A catchy tune about a crocodile leaving to fight in the war against the gorilla. He says his last goodbye to his children.

[Ed Gamble]

You remember that as well? Yeah, that was. Of course, it was pre Coco the Monkey in the Jungle World cup and all that kind of stuff. But they were sworn enemies.

[Matthew Crosby]

There's 12 of these, Matthew.

[Ed Gamble]

Sorry.

[Matthew Crosby]

Number seven. Le petit ogre Gourmand. The greedy little ogre. A tiny ogre sneaks into a village to eat children. He ends up stuck in a thimble.

[Ed Gamble]

Greeting logo. Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

Number eight. Il ete une petite navarre. There once was a little ship. Some sailors run out of food and contemplate cannibalism, but are saved by a miracle.

[Ed Gamble]

Saved by a miracle.

[Matthew Crosby]

No more specific food arrives. Number nine. Un suri vert. A green mouse. A green mouse is caught and dipped in oil and water, then turns into a snail. Additionally, someone soils their pants.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

A lot happening in that nursery room. Number 10, La Sorcier. Gruya is the name. The witch. Gruya. A seasonal song about a witch who eats too much chocolate and nougat and drinks too much beer, resulting in stomach ache.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay, is that real?

[Matthew Crosby]

Is that fake? These nursery rhymes, are they real or fake? Number 11. Le Chate Noir et le rat marin. The Black Cat and the Clever River Rat. A black cat chases a mischievous rat. The rat tricks the cat into a trap filled with sticky honey, where it dies.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, no. Spoiler alert.

[Matthew Crosby]

Number 12. Ah, vous dira je maman.

[Ed Gamble]

Ah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Shall I tell you, Mother? Same melodies. Twinkle, twinkle, Little star. A child complains about being in love and how it's both joyful and troublesome. There you are, Matty. Twelve French nursery rhymes. But some are real and some are fake. You're gonna tell me which ones after this, okay?

[Ed Gamble]

I'm not, though, am I? Cause I don't know which. Anyway. Well, I will do my best.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's the quiz. I will.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, but. But it's not a quiz.

[Matthew Crosby]

All right?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, it's really hard.

[Matthew Crosby]

Cancel it then.

[Ed Gamble]

All right, we'll cancel it. We're not going to get the answers after this, which is Jerry Cinnamon. Here.

[Producer Vin]

Read Andy's text out.

[Ed Gamble]

We're not reading Andy's text out. This is Jerry Cuz telling us what.

[Producer Vin]

Comes up on his algorithm.

[Ed Gamble]

This is Jerry Cinnamon sometimes here on.

[Radio X Announcer]

Radio X. Finn Hench Old and peculiar.

[Ed Gamble]

Radio X.

[Matthew Crosby]

Radio.

[Ed Gamble]

From a Lacerin Sky. Radio X.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, that's right. You will have heard me give Matthew a list of five plus seven.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

12 French nursery rhymes.

[Ed Gamble]

You gave me a list of five, then you carried on. You pushed beyond it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Matthew listened to stroking your answers there.

[Producer Vin]

Matthew, what were you doing?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, I was stroking the answers. Sorry, I thought this desk was slightly higher than it was. Anyway.

[Matthew Crosby]

Matthew was given 12 French nursery rhymes with an explanation of what happened to some of which are real, some of which are fake? He's going to tell me which are which. Now, these were kindly sent in by David Brackets. David daveed Matthew, Number one. The vicious Venus flytrap.

[Radio X Announcer]

Number one penis flytrap.

[Ed Gamble]

That is made up.

[Matthew Crosby]

That is fake. Yes. That's your sitter, obviously. Obviously fake.

[Ed Gamble]

It's always fake.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. What about La Poupet qui Pouleur? The Doll that Cried? It's about a doll that comes to life and cries and then it floods a nurse nursery.

[Ed Gamble]

I think that's real.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, that's fake.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, dear, that's a bad start.

[Matthew Crosby]

Je du bon ta bac. I have good tobacco. Is that real? Is that fake, Matthew? Is that a nursery rhyme about having good tobacco?

[Ed Gamble]

I think, you know, they have a more relaxed attitude to smoking on the continent. So I'm going to say that's real.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, that is real, Matthew. Une elephant qui c' est balancer. The hanging elephant. An elephant that hangs on a spider web.

[Ed Gamble]

I think that's also real.

[Matthew Crosby]

It is real, Matthew. Well done. Here we go. He's on a radio run. La Marchant de Verre. The Worm Merchant. Is that a real nursery rhyme?

[Ed Gamble]

I do not believe that's real.

[Matthew Crosby]

That is fake, Matthew. Well done. This is fake.

[Producer Vin]

What was that about? The Worm Merchant?

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a mysterious merchant who sells jars of worms that seem harmless until they escape, causing chaos in a school. Scary. Yeah, really scary.

[Ed Gamble]

Really scary. Really scary. David, you should be writing horror film.

[Matthew Crosby]

The Worm Merchant.

[Ed Gamble]

Working for blumhouse.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes. Not a 24. They wouldn't do the worm much.

[Ed Gamble]

No, they wouldn't do the worm much. A classier.

[Matthew Crosby]

Unless the worms were about grief.

[Ed Gamble]

It represents something bigger.

[Matthew Crosby]

Number six. Ah, les Crocodile. Ah, the crocodiles. This is about a crocodile leaving to fight in the war against the gorillas.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't think that's real.

[Matthew Crosby]

It is real, my friend.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, I stand corrected.

[Matthew Crosby]

Le petit Ogre gourmand. The little greedy ogre.

[Ed Gamble]

No.

[Matthew Crosby]

What do you mean it's not real? No, it's not real. Yeah. What?

[Producer Vin]

Isn't it Shrek? Isn't it just Shrek?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, well, Shrek. No, Shrek is real.

[Matthew Crosby]

A tiny ogre sleeps village that eat children. He ends up stuck in a Shrek is Real. Does he end up stuck in a thing thimble, then?

[Ed Gamble]

Well, we haven't seen Shrek 5. They keep pushing it back. Because he's stuck in a thimble.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Producer Vin]

I thought maybe they'd adapted it for screen.

[Ed Gamble]

I mean. They have adapted it. But from the book Shrek. It's not. It's not this. It's not the same story.

[Matthew Crosby]

Shrek is real. Number eight. There wasn't. There once was a little ship.

[Ed Gamble]

There once was a little ship.

[Matthew Crosby]

Some sailors run out of food and contemplate cannibalism, but are saved by a miracle. Is that a real French nursery rhyme, Matthew?

[Ed Gamble]

I believe it is.

[Matthew Crosby]

It is, Matthew. Correct. Correct. Une suri vert. A green mouse. A green mouse is caught and dipped in oil and water, then turns into a snail.

[Ed Gamble]

No.

[Matthew Crosby]

Additionally, someone soils their pants.

[Ed Gamble]

That's not real.

[Matthew Crosby]

It is real.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, is it? Oh, I'm sorry.

[Matthew Crosby]

Le surcier Grubille. This is about a witch called Grubier who eats too much chocolate and nougat and drinks too much beer.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. I believe that's real.

[Matthew Crosby]

That is real, Matthew. Le chat noir et le ratte malun. The Black Cat and the Clever Rat. A black cat chases a mischievous rat.

[Ed Gamble]

I don't believe that's real.

[Matthew Crosby]

It is fake. Matthew, what are you on?

[Ed Gamble]

I am on. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

[Matthew Crosby]

8 out of 11 so far. That's not bad for 9 out of 12. Ah, vous dire je maman. Ah. I shall tell you, Mother, a child complains about being in love and how it's both joyful and troublesome.

[Ed Gamble]

That's real.

[Matthew Crosby]

That is real. 9 out of 12.

[Ed Gamble]

That's not too bad. Am I secretly French?

[Matthew Crosby]

Really good. I think you might be secretly French.

[Ed Gamble]

No wonder my daughter was. No wonder my daughter was French. Because I myself. Yes, I'm French.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Well done, Matthew.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, thanks, man. And thank you.

[Matthew Crosby]

Should I say Matthew?

[Ed Gamble]

Merci, Edouard. Merci. This is Bowling for Soup. A girl. All the vodka has one do. Revoir.

[Radio X Announcer]

Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby, Radio X. We have the thickest listeners in radio.

[Matthew Crosby]

The Killers on a gambler, Matty Cross Crosby. Before that, we had some of Bowling for Soup.

[Ed Gamble]

Loved it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You could have too much of a.

[Matthew Crosby]

Good thing, I think. Yeah. And then it was a clip from Johnny Vaughan's show, I think was played in over the top. New thing you're doing. New mix. Oh, so it's a Bowling for Soup remix? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Producer Vin]

Artistic decision.

[Matthew Crosby]

Bowling for Soup feet Johnny Vaughan, well.

[Ed Gamble]

You know, more power to him.

[Matthew Crosby]

I say, it wasn't just you randomly smashing buttons, was it, Vin, by any chance?

[Producer Vin]

They're experimenting.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do you remember when we did the joke where I got to be in control of what went out? Yeah, you were in desk and I was pressing, like, random buttons and I was doing it deliberately. You just did that by accident. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Producer Vin]

No, I mean, no, no. It's Bowling for Soup.

[Ed Gamble]

It's the new Bowling for Soup Edit.

[Matthew Crosby]

Guys, the song is like Johnny Vaughan. Yeah.

[Producer Vin]

Imagine if a producer did that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Andy says you've shaved a couple of seconds off that Bowling for Soup Edit it.

[Producer Vin]

It's like a concept remit.

[Ed Gamble]

That's our record of the week, by the way. The new bowling pursuit featuring Johnny Ford. Of course. It's our record of the week. We've got a few final. We're about to say goodbye. We've got a few final final Unknown play. What was it called?

[Matthew Crosby]

Not Unknown Pleasures.

[Ed Gamble]

Dear, oh dear. Crosby. Dear, oh dear.

[Matthew Crosby]

Unexpected Passions.

[Ed Gamble]

Expected passions. That's what it is. We've had Morning, Sick Boys. This is from Craig. Morning, Sick Boys. Mine is my new 3D printer.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yes, please. How sublime it is watching the print head move around and around, magically creating your wish list of plastic parts. And if you want to be passionate, things can. Then things can be created, if you know what I mean. Yes, absolutely. Make some stuff with your 3D printer. Pop it in your bars.

[Matthew Crosby]

Why not Victoria and Madrid here? My unexpected passion is having everything in the kitchen cupboard in Tupperware pots with labels on. Gives me great comfort seeing how organized everything is. Oh, I would live. Yeah, I would live for that fat.

[Ed Gamble]

Or mason jars or any of that kind of stuff. But how you try it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

You just can't maintain it, can you? No, you can't maintain it. You think, this is the person I want to be, but I'll never be that person.

[Matthew Crosby]

If I lived in alone, I would do that.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes.

[Matthew Crosby]

Unfortunately, I live with the lady equivalent of the Tasmanian Devil, but a very.

[Ed Gamble]

Lovely Tasmanian devil she is. But. Yeah, not. Not.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, Adam, I. Adam says I was transferring some soup from a pan to a Tupperware when Bowling for Soup suddenly ceased. Was it me?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, it was Adam.

[Producer Vin]

No, no, it's their new remix.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah, it's their new remix.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I'm doing a rare live appearance, by the way. Can I plug it?

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Sounds like you're very excited.

[Matthew Crosby]

What are you doing now?

[Ed Gamble]

I'm doing a live podcast.

[Matthew Crosby]

You do live podcasts all the time.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, but this is a different one. It's not the usual.

[Matthew Crosby]

So it's not a rare live appearance, is it? It's a different.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not Pappy's. It's me appearing as myself.

[Matthew Crosby]

You appear as yourself on Pappy's.

[Producer Vin]

What do you mean?

[Matthew Crosby]

What are you talking about? So you're a character during the Pappy's podcast?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes, I am. I'm playing the character Matthew from Pappy's.

[Producer Vin]

Can you do the same character on this show?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, no, no, I play.

[Matthew Crosby]

And when we're chatting between the links.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll never meet them.

[Matthew Crosby]

Andy, stop it. Andy, stop texting in what your unexpected passion is.

[Producer Vin]

That is funny, though, Andy.

[Matthew Crosby]

That is really funny.

[Ed Gamble]

Andy, please, can we block him? Anyway, I will be appearing as part of the this Album podcast, which is a very good podcast where. Where comedians.

[Producer Vin]

You've done that. You've done that already, haven't you?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I did. I did the studio version of it. We're doing the live version of it. I'm gonna be talking about the album. Stop. The Talking Heads album.

[Matthew Crosby]

If you've got five and a half.

[Ed Gamble]

Hours live at the West Hampstead Arts Club. And it's all. Jacob Hawley's on as well. Very good, Jacob Hawley. And it's on at the West Hampstead Arts club on Friday the 27th of Feb. And tickets are available from Eventbrite.

[Matthew Crosby]

Do we allow that sort of thing?

[Producer Vin]

Not really. He sort of snuck it in, hasn't he?

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. What's wrong with that? Listen, I said to the guy I'd promote it and I promoted it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Boring. Sounds boring.

[Ed Gamble]

It will, yes. It'll be me talking about the Talking Heads. Of course it's going to be boring, but if you'd.

[Matthew Crosby]

You've got to be in the room for that sort of thing.

[Ed Gamble]

If you like that sort of thing, then that's what you like.

[Matthew Crosby]

Are you playing in clips of the album, do you think?

[Ed Gamble]

No, but I think I might wear a big suit and do a funny dance.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes. Every suit's a big suit for you.

[Ed Gamble]

Every suit, absolutely.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Can I put on one of your suits anyway? Yeah, it'll be very. It'll be very good fun. See you there. Speaking of very good fun. What a show.

[Matthew Crosby]

What a show.

[Ed Gamble]

Ed, please get well soon. We need you too.

[Matthew Crosby]

We need you.

[Ed Gamble]

Well, have a wonderful week, everybody. Bye bye.

[Radio X Announcer]

Radio X Ed Gamble and Matthew Crosby.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, there we are. That's the show, Matthew.

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. What a show. It was at times, I would say, bracingly boring.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, good. Goodness, yes.

[Ed Gamble]

Bracingly so.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes sir. Yes siree.

[Ed Gamble]

I really enjoyed it. So we should do some Beckenham recommendations.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

This is the part of the show, of course, where we talk about what we've been consuming, the culture we've been consuming, and we recommend it to. To you, the listener. Now, actually, while I was in my sick bed. I did get a chance to watch a few things.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes.

[Ed Gamble]

So a couple of things I think you might enjoy, actually.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Now, we talked about this a while ago because I. I actually watched like the first 15 minutes of this in the summertime and then didn't go back to it, even though I was enjoying it. But I finished it. Now, the two part documentary about Peewee Herman. Have you, have you watched it?

[Matthew Crosby]

I have not watched it.

[Ed Gamble]

It's really good. It's still on now tv. It's really, really worth watching. It's. It's really, really, really good. It's really, it's.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is it revealing?

[Ed Gamble]

Yes. I mean, you know, it's. Yes, it is. Obviously the first half is just about his insane rise to fame. I didn't quite appreciate quite how famous Pee Wee Herman was.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a weird thing to get massive as well.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. And that's. And they. So it's a very particular time. You know, it's late 80s, early 90s, very exciting times culturally. And. Yeah. And he was, he was riding high. And then of course, the second part deals with the arrest, the two arrests.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And if you don't know about that. Yeah, it's hard going because it's obviously very, very, very sad. And, and also all the way through it, which they don't. They tell you quite early in the documentary, but all the way through it. And he hadn't told the filmmakers this. He was privately battling cancer as well.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, goodness.

[Ed Gamble]

So, so it's, it's, it's, it's kind of both really sweet and life affirming and also quite heavy as well. But I loved it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Y.

[Ed Gamble]

Loved it. So I watched that and then I watched the Chevy Chase documentary. Have you watched that?

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, I'm excited to watch that. What's it on?

[Ed Gamble]

Both on Now TV. So, yeah, they're both on our TV. And the Chevy Chase one's only 90 minutes.

[Matthew Crosby]

And this is the one that loads of people refuse to take part in because they hate Chevy Chase so much.

[Ed Gamble]

When it comes to the community era. They've got one guy who's a very entertaining guy, but he was, he was a director.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

And he is like the most optimistic and positive dude you've ever met in your life. Obviously they can't get Dan Harmon to talk about him. They can't get any of the cast. They can't get.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's not the British guy who directed it, is it?

[Ed Gamble]

No, no, it's not. No, they can't get. You know, they're not getting even. Some of the sort of, you know, smaller bit players are willing to go above the parapet and talk about Chevy Chase.

[Matthew Crosby]

But the one thing I've seen is that clip of him being horrible and then go, well, you're not going to put this in.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. And I hope you don't.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Always a bad. So if you're making. To tell the person who's making documentary.

[Matthew Crosby]

About you, don't risk doing that.

[Ed Gamble]

That you are. That you think they're dumb. They're too dumb to make a documentary about you, and then tell. Please don't put that in. Well, that's gonna be the start of the documentary, isn't it? That's gonna be minute one. Yeah. Fascinating, but just a man who is incapable of talking about himself without making a joke. And every time he makes a joke, you go, oh, there's so much going on behind. You know, there's a bit where he talks about. She wants to talk about his family and his upbringing. And he pretends there's a fly in the room, swats it on his forehead, eats. And you're like, that's worse than saying, I had a tough upbringing.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's funny.

[Ed Gamble]

It's. Oh, he's all the way through. Is funny.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Like, this is the thing. He's hilarious. And they show you all the old clips of. Clips of old snl, clips of Fletch, all his old movies.

[Matthew Crosby]

There's a reason he's got away with being horrible to people.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Because he's hilarious and he's incredibly. He's incredibly charismatic.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. This is why me and you have to be so nice behind the scenes.

[Ed Gamble]

We have to be so sweet because.

[Matthew Crosby]

We have to be in the situation where they go, I know it's not really working on me screen, but they're such a pleasure to work with. Otherwise.

[Ed Gamble]

No one's got a good word to say about our work.

[Matthew Crosby]

No.

[Ed Gamble]

So they have to be our personalities. We have to work quite hard on our having nice personalities. But anyway, yeah, both. Both fantastic. And over two nights, the last two nights, I also watched one battle after another. Oh, yeah. Finally watched one battle after another.

[Matthew Crosby]

Over two nights.

[Ed Gamble]

Over two nights. We had to watch it over two nights.

[Matthew Crosby]

We got, as it was intended, I believe, Paul Thomas Andrews.

[Ed Gamble]

That's what he said when he put that tweet out.

[Matthew Crosby]

You should watch this on a small screen in two sittings.

[Ed Gamble]

You should Chromecast this to your crappy old tv. And when you both get a bit tired, go to bed.

[Matthew Crosby]

Is Charlie okay?

[Producer Vin]

Charlie came back for night two.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Although we had. We had to have a bit of a talk after because the first 20.

[Producer Vin]

Minutes or so was pretty.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, we watched. We watched like an hour and 40 of the. Of it. So we watched the second hour, which. The final hour of it the next night. But I did have to say to her, now, Charlie, I know what you're going to say is, I've got the measure of what it's all about.

[Matthew Crosby]

I've got it now.

[Ed Gamble]

I sort of got it. Basically. I've got what it's about. It's like, yeah, yeah. And I know you. I know you're gonna say that. And she's like, yeah, I'm gonna say it's like, we're still gonna watch that. We have to watch the last hour.

[Matthew Crosby]

That's not how stories work.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not how stories.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, I got the measure of it.

[Ed Gamble]

It's not a mood, Pete. Well, it is a mood piece, but it's also a story, and it's a very good story as well.

[Matthew Crosby]

The driving scene towards the end.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. The up and down, very tense, Very tense, very tense.

[Matthew Crosby]

But the going over the hills and then coming up over the crest of the hill.

[Ed Gamble]

Hills, yeah. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Let me tell you, I don't think you got the full experience watching that.

[Ed Gamble]

No, I don't think we did, because. Did you watch it in the imax? Oh, my God, you must have been puking.

[Matthew Crosby]

Wow. Wait, no, I loved it. I was buzzing.

[Ed Gamble]

Did you not, like, constantly need the loo all the way through it, through that story? From, like. Just from the fact it feels like your body's been.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a long film.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Well, that's all set. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

I just went for a big.

[Producer Vin]

Some people have said that they feel seasick from it.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah, I can definitely imagine that.

[Producer Vin]

Totally.

[Matthew Crosby]

But I like that. I like that in cars. Like, I've. When I've driven in America.

[Ed Gamble]

You like feeling car sick.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Oh, no, no, no. The. The. It's like a roller coaster. I love it in the cars. Like, you know, really go at it when you get to the top and then drop down. It's fantastic. Driving across America is amazing.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

I mean, that is. That is an astounding bit of, you know, cinematography. Well, I was going to say scenery as well. It's just an astounding bit of location work.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Nice road.

[Ed Gamble]

It's. It's a go. It's a really nice road.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's a lovely road.

[Producer Vin]

You know how you came up with that idea? He saw the road and he said.

[Matthew Crosby]

We should yeah, we should do that. You know, it'd be mental if he went, I invent a road in my head and now I'm going to find me a road.

[Ed Gamble]

Can you find me a really up.

[Matthew Crosby]

And down road where you can't see over the top of each thing?

[Producer Vin]

But I just wonder what they were going to do before he saw the road.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. Or just a driving scene.

[Producer Vin]

Yeah, Just, just, just no chase.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

No, you can still.

[Matthew Crosby]

You can still have a chase. It's not the first chase.

[Ed Gamble]

You could do other chases. This is.

[Matthew Crosby]

Idiot.

[Ed Gamble]

Come on, man.

[Producer Vin]

I like that idea.

[Ed Gamble]

Anyway, I've got no way of finishing the movie. Just has to end. You don't know whether or not they.

[Matthew Crosby]

I watched. Started watching a show on BBC iPlayer, which I had to tap, tap out of briefly. I will go back to it because it was making me a bit sad. Okay. But it is brilliant. It's called Waiting for the Out. It's written by Dennis Kelly, who also wrote Utopia on Chapter, Channel 4. And I loved Utopia. I was very sad. Utopia ended so early. It's sort of less genre than that. It's a drama, but it's got some really funny lines in it as well. But it is about a guy who starts teaching philosophy in prison.

[Ed Gamble]

Okay.

[Matthew Crosby]

And it is extremely well written. It's very tense and it's, you know, it's. It's. There's elements of it that are quite sad, but I. It's absolutely fantastic. Fantastic. It's. It's really, really good. And that some of the people in it. I mean, I think it's Alex Ferns, his name is. Is in it. Who is? He was Trevor in EastEnders.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

And then he was in Chernobyl.

[Ed Gamble]

Oh, yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

He's fantastic. In Chernobyl. He's done a couple of other things, but he's. He's in it and it's just outstanding. Like I would say. Yeah. Waiting for the out. If you're into.

[Ed Gamble]

Is it stressful? Because we did. By the way. We can't watch another stressful thing now for a year.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah. No, no. I'm not recommending it to you and your wife.

[Ed Gamble]

Charlie and I didn't sleep last night. We've messaged each other. Neither of us slept last night because we were so sc.

[Matthew Crosby]

The bumpy ride.

[Ed Gamble]

Because of the bumpy R. Yeah.

[Matthew Crosby]

No, I say, yeah. Waiting for the out. It's on BBC iPlayer. It's fantastic. Great. Okay.

[Ed Gamble]

Finn, what about you? What have you been watching? What have you been.

[Producer Vin]

Also on Iplayer, there's a new Series of Black Ops, which I. Oh, yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Black Ops is great. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Producer Vin]

So that, that's fantastic.

[Ed Gamble]

Very funny.

[Producer Vin]

I think it's. I think it's funnier this one. I think they. I think they've. They've done really, really well with it. And I've just started watching Tom Bell's in it.

[Ed Gamble]

I love Tom Bell.

[Producer Vin]

I've just started watching things you. Things you should have done. Is that what it's called?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, Lucia's Show.

[Producer Vin]

Yeah. Which also has a second series, but I never saw the first one, so I've started that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Has the second series been on yet? Yeah, yeah. I should go back and watch it.

[Producer Vin]

From what I gather, they're. They're doing this a lot on iplayer where they don't. They're not shouting about things until they start shouting about it.

[Matthew Crosby]

They just dump it online and then. Yeah, yeah. Bridget Christie's in it, isn't she? Second series.

[Ed Gamble]

Is she?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yes, she is, yeah.

[Producer Vin]

Oh, exciting.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Producer Vin]

Sorry. I mean, I love it.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, it's really, very good.

[Producer Vin]

Obviously. Really odd.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Producer Vin]

But yeah, so those two, those two sitcoms.

[Matthew Crosby]

Brilliant.

[Ed Gamble]

All right, well, have a wonderful peep show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Have you heard of peep show?

[Ed Gamble]

Oh my God, it's so good.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

So have you gone in?

[Matthew Crosby]

I went. So I went in at like series five and just sort of had it on. This was over Christmas, New Year. I've just watched until the end. So there's nine.

[Producer Vin]

So series five is like post, Post west wedding.

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah, it's just post wedding, basically post wedding disaster. And then I went. And then I've gone back. But I know, Basically, I know 1 to 4 sort of off by heart. So that is just comfort viewing on in the background. But five to nine I was a little bit less okay with. But it's great.

[Ed Gamble]

It's so brilliant.

[Matthew Crosby]

Oh, it's brilliant.

[Ed Gamble]

Isn't it a good show?

[Matthew Crosby]

Yeah.

[Ed Gamble]

Anyway, speaking of good shows, we're gonna be back next week on the radio at 8am Loads of guests on a Sunday. Yeah. It's a. It's a guest packed show.

[Matthew Crosby]

Thank the Lord, because we need it. Oh, God.

[Ed Gamble]

We've worked hard today.

[Matthew Crosby]

So tired.

[Ed Gamble]

But you worked really, really hard because we had to talk, you know, for sort of three or four minutes at a time.

[Matthew Crosby]

And I never let on that I was ill. No, exactly.

[Ed Gamble]

You're never told. You never told the poor love he's been ill the entire show.

[Producer Vin]

You were focused, though.

[Matthew Crosby]

Very focused.

[Ed Gamble]

Very, very focused. Very, very focused.

[Matthew Crosby]

By the way, we've not finished doing the show. Yet.

[Ed Gamble]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. We haven't finished. I mean, we have.

[Matthew Crosby]

We've got a metal education coming up.

[Ed Gamble]

We can go on.

[Matthew Crosby]

It's really good.

[Ed Gamble]

Is it? I'm excited about that.

[Matthew Crosby]

Well, you'll know by now.

[Ed Gamble]

Anyway, let's. Let's wrap up the show there. Have a wonderful week, everybody. Bye.

[Matthew Crosby]

Bye. Bye.