Effectively Wild: Episode 2400 – "There's No Such Thing As a Free Agent"

Podcast: Effectively Wild – A FanGraphs Baseball Podcast
Date: November 13, 2025
Hosts: Ben Lindbergh (The Ringer) & Meg Rowley (FanGraphs)
Guest/Co-Host: Mitch Goldich

Overview

This milestone episode (#2400) of Effectively Wild is a quintessential mix of the podcast’s hallmarks: baseball statistical analysis, lively banter about the game’s quirks, and a healthy dose of sarcastic wit. Ben Lindbergh and Meg Rowley (with Mitch Goldich sitting in) kick off the baseball offseason by discussing odd memorabilia, the Rockies remaining baseball’s lovable outlier, and—true to tradition—conducting their annual “Free Agent Contract Over/Under Draft” based on MLB Trade Rumors’ projections.

A highlight of the episode is gleeful coverage of super-agent Scott Boras’s annual wordplay routine at the GM Meetings, as well as a nostalgic ode to the Colorado Rockies’ persistent weirdness. The pod closes with the highly anticipated free agency contract draft and extended Scott Boras excerpts.

Episode Breakdown

1. Addison Barger’s Iconic Pull-Out Couch (00:40–11:41)

Key Discussion Points

• The "Historic" Pull-Out Couch:
  Ben recounts the story of Blue Jays’ Addison Barger sleeping on teammate Davis Schneider’s pull-out couch before hitting a pinch-hit grand slam in the World Series. The Toronto Marriott put the sofa on display—an action the hosts gently mock.
  • Ben: "Is this a draw? Is this an attraction? Would you go out of your way to see the pull-out couch?" (01:46)
  • Mitch: "No, that's insane...I don't know that you want to submit your furniture to close lobby inspection..." (02:18)
• Skepticism about Authenticity:
  Joking speculation about whether the couch is “the” couch, or just any couch from Marriott’s loading dock.
  • Mitch: "How do you know it's the couch? Addison Barger pull-truther." (03:51)
• Gross-Out Avoidance:
  Multiple tongue-in-cheek refusals to make the conversation about “pull-out” couches gross, while letting listeners fill in innuendo themselves.
• Museums of the Mundane:
  Amused bewilderment at the creation of sports artifacts, particularly one associated with pre-heroics sleep.
• Baseball Writers' Marriott Loyalty:
  Joking about Marriott’s appeal to baseball media, and complaints about Winter Meetings being held at a Hilton instead.
  • "You ever meet a scout that didn't want Marriott points? You sure have not." (10:12)
• Hotel Loyalty Programs:
  Extended riffing about journalists and front office staff gaming Marriott points for personal trips.
  • Mitch: "You know how many people who work in baseball go on their honeymoons because of Marriott points..." (10:12)

Memorable Quotes

• "It's not as if they sent the couch to Cooperstown." – Ben (08:42)
• “I am sure that they don't care about my satisfaction with the accommodations...” – Mitch (10:12)

2. Scott Boras’s Annual GM Meetings Wordplay Extravaganza (11:41–25:38)

Key Discussion Points

• Wordplay as Marketing:
  Ben shares examples of Boras’s contract-pitching puns, including:
  • "Nobody wants a Bregs-it" (re: Alex Bregman; 12:39)
  • Boris blending Dunkin’ and Starbucks metaphors to describe Bregman’s fit in Boston.
  • "Goose is gone" / “urban maverick” for Cody Bellinger, alluding (awkwardly) to Top Gun.
    • Mitch debates the correctness and taste of the analogy: "But Maverick is canonically devastated by Goose dying." (14:02)
  • “Unlike the other Dylan, he is exclusively electric” for Dylan Cease, riffing on Bob Dylan’s ‘going electric’ (16:07)
  • "The fans in Detroit want the Tigers to build a Tarek barrack [barracks]." – for Tarek Skubal (17:50)
  • "Scooby done" and "Detroit doink" pun chains for Skubal as well.
  • Alliterative Pete Alonso pitch: “Pete's pursuers are primed to pay the power piper,” and more. (21:44)
  • Number of “PoBO” (President of Baseball Operations) names puns (44:27)
• Worn-Out Routine?
  Hosts ponder whether Boras’ annual puns are losing steam with the media and fans.
  • Mitch: “I think that this is outlived its usefulness...” (19:30)
  • Ben: "We're as guilty as anyone," noting their own coverage gives Boras more attention.
• Why Does He Do This?
  • "It's for an audience of one to some extent... but I feel like he's doing it largely for himself." – Ben (15:55)
  • The hosts compare Boras's showmanship to spring training autograph hounds—"just commit to the bit and run." (23:13)
• Reluctance to Wordplay Asian Players' Names:
  Brief remarks on Boras wisely (usually) avoiding risky puns with Japanese/Korean players' names. (17:13)

Memorable Quotes

• "You can't do the Piper thing and then recommit to the polar bear thing. You need to pick a lane." – Mitch (22:20)
• "We're as guilty as anyone... Last one I saw, this is not so much wordplay. I mean, this is just pure alliteration here on Pete Alonso..." – Ben (21:29)
• "It's so corny it sort of circles all the way to being funny again." – Ben (96:17)

Boras Full-Transcript Segments at End (92:38–96:17)

3. The Rockies Are Baseball’s Last Weirdos (25:38–38:50)

Key Discussion Points

• Ben’s "Ode/Takedown":
  Ben details his appreciation and frustration for the Rockies’ idiosyncratic approach—forever baseball’s punchline for operating differently.
  • Ben: “The Colorado Rockies cannot and must not be normal…” (38:50)
• Paul DePodesta’s Unprecedented Gap:
  The hire of Paul DePodesta as Rockies’ PoBO, coming after 21 years away from an MLB front office, is explored. - “This is unprecedented... a 50% longer gap than anyone else has ever had...” (34:35)
• Front Office Conformity:
  Ben laments how most front offices now look and act the same, missing the colorful outliers of past eras.
• Rockies’ "Chaotic Good" Alignment:
  They’re not maliciously cheap or cruel like the A’s or Pirates, just oddly run, which somehow feels less damaging.

Memorable Quotes

• "I really will miss that, because someday the Rockies will be good again and they'll be normal again." – Ben (29:19)
• “They play on the surface of the moon. Right. They have environmental—yeah, weird.” – Mitch (29:19)
• “Dick Monfort is merely incompetent...they're trying and failing.” – Ben (30:55)

4. Fun with Exec Titles: The "Pobos" and "Hobos" (44:27–48:47)

Key Discussion Points

• Rise of the POBO:
  The title “President of Baseball Operations” (PoBO) now overshadows the old “GM.”
• PO/BO Surname Overrepresentation:
  Listener Andrew M. finds people with ‘po’ or ‘bo’ surnames are vastly overrepresented among Pobos.
  • "5 of 22 Pobos have a po or bo in their last name…" (45:13)
• “Hobo” Title Debate:
  Hosts joke about “head of baseball operations” possibly being shortened to “hobo,” which would be unfortunate.

Memorable Quotes

• "If you're winging it, you'll never be a pobo or po, bro." – Mitch (47:32)
• "Paul de Pobo, Jerry de Pobo, Paul Tobo..." – Ben (45:42)

5. Obscure Baseball Stat Blasts and Historical Anomalies (49:24–59:19)

Key Discussion Points

• "Most days in playoff position" without making the playoffs:
  The 2025 Mets tied the 2007 Mets (178 days nominally in the playoffs) for this ignominious record. (49:24)
• Left Fielders’ Franchise-Long Streaks:
  A stat blast about longest team streaks where the primary left fielder played their whole career for one team.
  • Red Sox: 18 years of Yaz/Rice/Greenwell (51:01–.)
  • Yankees: 23-year shortstop streak (Frankie Crosetti/Phil Rizzuto).
• Memorial for Mike Greenwell and Jesus Montero:
  Both recently deceased; hosts share statistics and reflections on their playing days. (59:27)

6. Annual MLB Free Agent Contract Over/Under Draft (61:07–92:38)

Key Discussion Points

• How It Works:
  Using MLB Trade Rumors’ Top 50 Free Agent contract projections, hosts draft eight players each, taking overs or unders on their total guarantee.
  • Ben: “Whoever has the most on their ledger wins the draft…” (62:39)
  • Bonus points for directional pick and difference.
• State of the Free Agent Market:
  The hosts note this year’s projections are particularly sharp—few clear “overs” or “unders.”
  • "A lot of these this year...are really tight. They've really refined their process…" – Meg (64:20)
• Debate on Specific Players:
  Many projections center on likely contract length rather than AAV.
  • Kyle Tucker: Under 400M (Ben, 65:43)
  • Munetaka Murakami: Under 180M (Meg, 68:26)
  • Trent Grisham: Under 66M (Ben, 71:19)
  • Edwin Diaz: Over 82M (Meg, 71:28)
  • Glaber Torres: Over 22M? (Ben, 73:02)
  • And more: Gallen (under), Malley (over), Suarez (under), King (under), Schwarber (under), Verlander (under), etc.
• Emotionally Torn About Unders:
  Hosts admit they root for players to do well, even when their picks are "under."
• Play Along at Home:
  The game is tracked on the EW wiki for listeners.

Memorable Quotes

• “…I want the boys to make their—get their bag, as the young people say…” (66:58)
• "You call him the best pure hitter. He is. He's also just a pure hitter and that's it." – Ben (81:05)

7. Scott Boras: Full Press Conference Wordplay (92:38–96:17)

Key Discussion Points

• Extended Boras Riffs:
  Boras’s Bregman, Bellinger, and Ha Seong Kim puns are played at length. In typical fashion, he wrings together groaners and extended metaphors (Top Gun, coffee blends, and more) for each client.

Notable Moments

• “There’s no question that Pete’s pursuers are primed to pay the power piper…A playoff-parched plethora will pounce to participate in the polar plunge.” – Boras (21:44, repeated in transcript at 94:12–95:46)
• “He [Bregman] is a Bregman blend that led them to the playoffs...no one wants a Brexit.” – Boras (92:38)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Pull-Out Couch Hysteria:
  "Addison Barger pull-truther. That could be just any pull-out couch." – Ben (03:51)

• On Boras's Puns:
  "So Goose dies and it's like a bad thing in the movie when Goose dies. It sort of motivates the whole back half of the movie..." – Mitch (14:02) "He's off book...he memorized his lines here and he's waiting for people to tee him up...” – Ben (22:45)

• On the Rockies’ Weirdness:
  “The Colorado Rockies cannot and must not be normal.” – Ben (38:50)

• On Underwhelmed Closing:
  “If you're winging it, you'll never be a pobo or po, bro.” – Mitch (47:32)

Timestamps – Key Segments

• 00:40–11:41: Addison Barger's pull-out couch, sports artifacts, Marriott loyalty
• 11:41–25:38: Scott Boras’s puns and media spectacle at GM Meetings
• 25:38–38:50: Rockies as enduring MLB outlier; DePodesta’s unprecedented front office return
• 44:27–48:47: The preponderance of ‘PoBOs’ and exec title inflation
• 49:24–59:19: Mets stat blast; franchise legends & quirky player streaks
• 61:07–92:38: Annual Free Agency Over/Under Draft—analysis and picks
• 92:38–96:17: Boras press conference puns, played in full

Tone & Style

The episode is free-wheeling, playful, and sardonic without ever turning mean-spirited. Hosts blend hard-nosed baseball analytics with stretches of speculative, affectionate lampooning—especially targeting the spectacle of Boras’s performance art and the endless, lovable incompetence of the Rockies.

For First-Time Listeners

This episode delivers on Effectively Wild’s reputation for mixing in-depth baseball nerdery with offbeat humor, improvisational asides, and historical perspective. With little time spent on adverts or intros, the content is dense and wide-ranging, making it an engaging listen whether you’re a stathead, beat writer, or just someone who finds the idea of a sports shrine built around a pull-out couch hilariously on-brand for baseball.

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