Effectively Wild Episode 2412: "It’s the Most Punderful Time of the Year"

Date: December 10, 2025
Hosts: Ben Lindbergh (The Ringer), Meg Rowley (FanGraphs)
Theme: The annual (and semi-annual) tradition of Scott Boras free-agent puns at the MLB Winter Meetings, plus analysis of major signings (Kyle Schwarber to Phillies, Edwin Diaz to Dodgers), industry trends, and a bit of offbeat baseball and sports culture discussion.

Episode Overview

This episode celebrates one of baseball’s offseason rituals: Scott Boras’s pun-filled standup routines at the MLB Winter Meetings, where the superagent is notorious for corny, elaborate wordplay about his clients and their markets. Ben and Meg react to the new crop of Boras puns line by line, providing live critiques, laughter, and groans, before turning to real baseball news with two big signings and broader offseason observations. The episode closes with industry gossip, a college football “PR dog” scandal, and musings on baseball-adjacent pop culture.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Scott Boras Pun Tradition

Time: [00:30] - [29:10]

Why Focus on Boras’s Puns?
- Boras’s yearly pun-filled soliloquy at media gatherings has become a unique part of MLB’s free agent season.
- Even as major signings break during his speeches, Boras’s puns remain a focal point for media and fans alike.
- Ben and Meg feel “pun-comitted”—duty-bound to analyze the wordplay for posterity.
Live Reactions to the New Puns
- Meg did not attend Boras’s scrum and is subject to the puns "cold," providing genuine, real-time feedback.
- Discussion covers:
  - Delivery quirks (e.g., Boras often postfixes with “no doubt” or “without a doubt”).
  - Is anyone in the scrum genuinely laughing or merely humoring Boras as a source?
  - The suspicion that Boras sometimes gets assistance or workshops his better punchlines.

Boras’s Notable Puns (with Speaker Attribution & Timestamps):

On Tatsuya Imai:
[05:09]

“Believe me, in my wildest dreams, I never expected someone to be available like that.”
—Scott Boras

Meg’s reaction: "I'm going to allow it… it's an acceptable one… but again, not great. I didn't chuckle."
Discussion of potential cultural sensitivity.

On Alex Bregman:
[07:16]

“In October, it's Alex in Wonderland. And it's a really... scheduled event, no doubt.”
—Scott Boras

Ben: "You can tell he's locked in on Bregman—seems like he brings his A game."
Meg: “I think the Bregman pun work is pretty strong... is he getting an assist on those?”

On Ranger Suarez:
[11:09]

“When you add a Suarez, I think everyone knows you're... you're armed and rangerous. Without a doubt.”
—Scott Boras

Meg: “If he didn't have the ‘without a doubt,’ it would work. ‘Rangerous’... I don't know what that sounds like to me, but it sounds problematic somehow.”

On Pete Alonso:
[13:24]

“Pete lives in Tampa. It’s rather warm there. So the polar vortex of last year is kind of thawed... That prior bear market is exhausted. So now we kind of have the running of the bulls in Tamploosa.”
—Scott Boras

Meg: “Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You’re doing too much, buddy.”
Analysis:
- “Tamploosa” is a flub on Pamplona (site of 'running of the bulls’).
- Bear market/polar vortex/Alonso-as-polar-bear wordplay is "a catastrophe."

On Tarek Skubal:
[19:00]

“He's truly a saber-proof Tiger. If you want to look at the tail of the Tiger... without Scoobs, they're a Mystery Machine.”
—Scott Boras

Meg: "One of those would be fine, but again, he's doing too much. It's a hat on a hat."
Praise for “saber-proof Tiger,” groans at the Scooby Doo/tail of the Tiger stacking.

On Zac Gallen:
[22:28]

“For Zac, it's high quality. Never crude, always refined. And when you pull up to the pitching pump, you know a Gallen is always premium. He's exactly a rotation fit, no doubt.”
—Scott Boras

Ben: "The structure had an issue. He started in with the gas analogy before he explained the joke."

On Cody Bellinger (with coded team references):
[25:03]

“Great players see red. If they don't, they lose or know they have a big bat yanked out of their lineup. I haven't met a team that dodges a five-tool player. The center field need is a giant step towards the playoffs. Outfielders that fly with power, they're rare birds. ... There's a lot of angel investors looking for versatile outfielders. Other than that, Belly doesn’t have much interest.”
—Scott Boras

Ben walks through the "code": Yankees ('yanked'), Reds ('see red'), Dodgers ('dodges'), Giants ('giant step'), Orioles/Cardinals ('rare birds'), Angels ('angel investors'), and Mets ('I haven’t MET a team').
Meg: "He's just naming teams at this point... too much work."

Rating the 2025 Class of Boras Puns

Meg: "The Bregman ones are good. Half the Skubal ones work. The Alonzo stuff is a catastrophe... The exercise receives a failing grade."
Ben: "I feel a bit better about the latest crop than the GM Meetings set."

2. Real Baseball News: Phillies, Dodgers, and Market Trends

Time: [34:28] - [66:05]

Kyle Schwarber Re-signs with the Phillies

[36:02]

Details: Five-year, $150 million contract; returns as fan favorite and DH.
Meg: "He's a really important part of their team and clubhouse... culture carrier and stabilizing force."
Discussion:
- Schwarber's role in team chemistry and on-field contributions.
- "I think it's more money than I anticipated him getting… I underestimated his market. The Orioles matched the Phillies' offer, Reds were also at five years…"
Potential downside [65:18]:
- Both Schwarber and Bryce Harper may be DH-only soon, leading to future roster inflexibility.

Edwin Diaz to the Dodgers

[52:05]

Details: Three years, $69 million (note: with deferrals, $21.1M AAV for luxury tax).
Ben: "By recent Dodger standards, this is a drop in the bucket."
Meg: "Such a Dodger signing... They don't really have a shopping list, but if you need to spend $23 million a year to make October easier, that's tidy, easy business."
Discussion:
- Diaz’s recent statistical slippage; sustained elite status, but “not quite as good as at his peak.”
- Dodgers' unique position: able to “throw money at problems that are otherwise annoying."
- Comparison to other clubs’ motives for spending (e.g., Pirates/Marlins for revenue-sharing optics).

On the Pirates and Marlins Spending More

[48:01]

Ben references an article suggesting small-market spending may be about avoiding future CBA revenue-sharing reductions more than a real intention to improve.

Minor Signings and Pitching Market

[72:29] and [73:24]

Rays sign Steven Matz; burst of American pitchers returning from Japan/Korea (Anthony Kay, Ryan Weiss, Drew Anderson).
Ben highlights the intrigue of whether their pitching successes in Asia translate back to MLB roles.

3. Broader Offseason Themes & MLB Labor Context

Time: [32:53] & [34:53]

Uncertainty over next winter due to looming CBA expiration and potential lockout; winter meetings may not be held in 2026.
Meg: “It is casting something of a pall over the proceedings… there is an understanding… of the precarity of the sport after this CBA expires…”
Teams are “not content just to have been Contenders”—urgency from Phillies and others to win now as windows for current cores begin to close.

4. Pop Culture/Offbeat Segments

Time: [66:05] - end

Ippei Mizuhara Dramatization Lands at Starz

[66:15]

Planned docudrama about Shohei Ohtani's former interpreter Ippei Mizuhara and the gambling scandal.
Ben is skeptical: “By the time it comes out, it will literally be old news… would it be entertaining to watch someone gamble on their phone?”
Meg and Ben riff on the peculiarities of sports bio-dramas.

Lane Kiffin "PR Dog" Scandal

[75:32]

Lane Kiffin, college football coach, is revealed to have possibly faked his dog’s “public” persona to rehabilitate his own image—a story Meg gleefully ties to her jokes about Ohtani’s dog being a PR invention.
Ben: “Even having dogs does not make you a good person… even Cruella de Vil had Dalmatians.”

Cruella de Vil & Fur Lore

Surreal tangent on the Disney villain’s motivation and Hollywood’s dog-fur logic.

5. Memorable Quotes & Moments

[14:54] Meg Rowley (on Boras mixing up cities): "Tamploosa makes no sense. He had to have just goosed that. ... Tamploosa's wrong. That's wrong. He just got it wrong."
[31:10] Meg Rowley (grading Boras): "The exercise receives a failing grade because of how bad that answer was."
[34:16] Ben Lindbergh: "You have to appreciate the puns while we have them—they're precious. We'll be wishing for Boras puns next year if there's no Winter Meetings."
[36:21] Meg Rowley (on Schwarber): "He's DH only. He is real, real, real, real DH only at this point. Birds, Birds, Birds, Birds."
[46:44] Ben Lindbergh (on Orioles): "Frequent refrain on this podcast... What on earth. Please… what are you doing? Go sign a starting pitcher."
[52:22] Meg Rowley: "I am a little bit of a Dodgers provocateur. Not of the Dodgers, but of the Dodger haters..."
[82:56] Ben Lindbergh: "I won't call it vindication, but at least the concept has been vindicated," referencing Meg's PR dog theory.

Timestamps: Notable Segments

00:30 — Setting the scene: Winter meetings, Boras tradition
05:09 — First Boras pun (Tatsuya Imai)
07:16 — Alex Bregman puns
11:09 — Ranger Suarez: "Armed and Rangerous"
13:24 — Pete Alonso: "Bear market"/"Tamploosa"
19:00 — Skubal: "Saber-proof Tiger” + “Mystery Machine”
22:28 — Zac Gallen: “A Gallen is always premium”
25:03 — Bellinger: “Team code” wordplay
36:02 — Phillies re-sign Schwarber; contract reactions
52:05 — Dodgers sign Edwin Diaz: analysis + context
66:15 — Ippei drama series at Starz
75:32 — Lane Kiffin "PR dog" saga
85:00 — Disney villains’ dog fur couture tangent

Overall Tone & Style

Witty, skeptical, extremely inside-baseball.
Meg: Deadpan, acerbic, and lovingly exasperated with both Boras and MLB foibles.
Ben: Analytical, wry, detail-oriented, and patient, but with flashes of sharp commentary.

Summary Table: Boras Puns and Analysis

| Player | Boras Pun(s) | Hosts’ Reaction | Timestamp | |----------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|--------------------------------------------------|--------------| | Tatsuya Imai | "...in my wildest dreams..." | Acceptable, not offensive, not funny | 05:09 | | Alex Bregman | "Alex in Wonderland ... regularly scheduled event, no doubt." | Among the best; possible “assist” from others | 07:16 | | Ranger Suarez | "Armed and rangerous. Without a doubt." | Would work without “without a doubt”; awkward | 11:09 | | Pete Alonso | "Polar vortex has thawed... bear market ... running of the bulls in Tamploosa." | “A catastrophe.” Too much; city name error | 13:24 | | Tarek Skubal | "Saber-proof Tiger ... Mystery Machine." | Good core, ruined by overstacking/hats-on-hats | 19:00 | | Zac Gallen | “Never crude, always refined ... Gallen is always premium.” | Structure off; analogy not clean | 22:28 | | Cody Bellinger | “Yanked ... see red ... dodges a five-tool player ... rare birds ... angel investors ...” | Just team-listing; strained, forced, not special | 25:03 |

Final Thoughts

This episode affectionately skewers the spectacle of MLB’s offseason theater, using Boras’s puns as a launching pad for serious and not-so-serious commentary about baseball’s business, culture, and ongoing storylines. The hosts’ mix of critique and appreciation gives listeners both a clear window into this unique baseball ritual and the wider forces shaping MLB’s offseason—and plenty of laughs along the way.

For newcomers:
You’ll come away understanding why Scott Boras’s puns matter (or don’t), which free agent moves are shaking up the winter, and what makes the hot stove season a unique blend of earnest business and pure ridiculousness in the hands of Ben Lindbergh and Meg Rowley.

Effectively Wild Episode 2412: "It’s the Most Punderful Time of the Year"

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Scott Boras Pun Tradition

Time: [00:30] - [29:10]

Why Focus on Boras’s Puns?
- Boras’s yearly pun-filled soliloquy at media gatherings has become a unique part of MLB’s free agent season.
- Even as major signings break during his speeches, Boras’s puns remain a focal point for media and fans alike.
- Ben and Meg feel “pun-comitted”—duty-bound to analyze the wordplay for posterity.
Live Reactions to the New Puns
- Meg did not attend Boras’s scrum and is subject to the puns "cold," providing genuine, real-time feedback.
- Discussion covers:
  - Delivery quirks (e.g., Boras often postfixes with “no doubt” or “without a doubt”).
  - Is anyone in the scrum genuinely laughing or merely humoring Boras as a source?
  - The suspicion that Boras sometimes gets assistance or workshops his better punchlines.

Boras’s Notable Puns (with Speaker Attribution & Timestamps):

On Tatsuya Imai:
[05:09]

“Believe me, in my wildest dreams, I never expected someone to be available like that.”
—Scott Boras

Meg’s reaction: "I'm going to allow it… it's an acceptable one… but again, not great. I didn't chuckle."
Discussion of potential cultural sensitivity.

On Alex Bregman:
[07:16]

“In October, it's Alex in Wonderland. And it's a really... scheduled event, no doubt.”
—Scott Boras

Ben: "You can tell he's locked in on Bregman—seems like he brings his A game."
Meg: “I think the Bregman pun work is pretty strong... is he getting an assist on those?”

On Ranger Suarez:
[11:09]

“When you add a Suarez, I think everyone knows you're... you're armed and rangerous. Without a doubt.”
—Scott Boras

Meg: “If he didn't have the ‘without a doubt,’ it would work. ‘Rangerous’... I don't know what that sounds like to me, but it sounds problematic somehow.”

On Pete Alonso:
[13:24]

“Pete lives in Tampa. It’s rather warm there. So the polar vortex of last year is kind of thawed... That prior bear market is exhausted. So now we kind of have the running of the bulls in Tamploosa.”
—Scott Boras

Meg: “Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You’re doing too much, buddy.”
Analysis:
- “Tamploosa” is a flub on Pamplona (site of 'running of the bulls’).
- Bear market/polar vortex/Alonso-as-polar-bear wordplay is "a catastrophe."

On Tarek Skubal:
[19:00]

“He's truly a saber-proof Tiger. If you want to look at the tail of the Tiger... without Scoobs, they're a Mystery Machine.”
—Scott Boras

Meg: "One of those would be fine, but again, he's doing too much. It's a hat on a hat."
Praise for “saber-proof Tiger,” groans at the Scooby Doo/tail of the Tiger stacking.

On Zac Gallen:
[22:28]

“For Zac, it's high quality. Never crude, always refined. And when you pull up to the pitching pump, you know a Gallen is always premium. He's exactly a rotation fit, no doubt.”
—Scott Boras

Ben: "The structure had an issue. He started in with the gas analogy before he explained the joke."

On Cody Bellinger (with coded team references):
[25:03]

“Great players see red. If they don't, they lose or know they have a big bat yanked out of their lineup. I haven't met a team that dodges a five-tool player. The center field need is a giant step towards the playoffs. Outfielders that fly with power, they're rare birds. ... There's a lot of angel investors looking for versatile outfielders. Other than that, Belly doesn’t have much interest.”
—Scott Boras

Ben walks through the "code": Yankees ('yanked'), Reds ('see red'), Dodgers ('dodges'), Giants ('giant step'), Orioles/Cardinals ('rare birds'), Angels ('angel investors'), and Mets ('I haven’t MET a team').
Meg: "He's just naming teams at this point... too much work."

Rating the 2025 Class of Boras Puns

Meg: "The Bregman ones are good. Half the Skubal ones work. The Alonzo stuff is a catastrophe... The exercise receives a failing grade."
Ben: "I feel a bit better about the latest crop than the GM Meetings set."

2. Real Baseball News: Phillies, Dodgers, and Market Trends

Time: [34:28] - [66:05]

Kyle Schwarber Re-signs with the Phillies

[36:02]

Details: Five-year, $150 million contract; returns as fan favorite and DH.
Meg: "He's a really important part of their team and clubhouse... culture carrier and stabilizing force."
Discussion:
- Schwarber's role in team chemistry and on-field contributions.
- "I think it's more money than I anticipated him getting… I underestimated his market. The Orioles matched the Phillies' offer, Reds were also at five years…"
Potential downside [65:18]:
- Both Schwarber and Bryce Harper may be DH-only soon, leading to future roster inflexibility.

Edwin Diaz to the Dodgers

[52:05]

Details: Three years, $69 million (note: with deferrals, $21.1M AAV for luxury tax).
Ben: "By recent Dodger standards, this is a drop in the bucket."
Meg: "Such a Dodger signing... They don't really have a shopping list, but if you need to spend $23 million a year to make October easier, that's tidy, easy business."
Discussion:
- Diaz’s recent statistical slippage; sustained elite status, but “not quite as good as at his peak.”
- Dodgers' unique position: able to “throw money at problems that are otherwise annoying."
- Comparison to other clubs’ motives for spending (e.g., Pirates/Marlins for revenue-sharing optics).

On the Pirates and Marlins Spending More

[48:01]

Ben references an article suggesting small-market spending may be about avoiding future CBA revenue-sharing reductions more than a real intention to improve.

Minor Signings and Pitching Market

[72:29] and [73:24]

Rays sign Steven Matz; burst of American pitchers returning from Japan/Korea (Anthony Kay, Ryan Weiss, Drew Anderson).
Ben highlights the intrigue of whether their pitching successes in Asia translate back to MLB roles.

3. Broader Offseason Themes & MLB Labor Context

Time: [32:53] & [34:53]

Uncertainty over next winter due to looming CBA expiration and potential lockout; winter meetings may not be held in 2026.
Meg: “It is casting something of a pall over the proceedings… there is an understanding… of the precarity of the sport after this CBA expires…”
Teams are “not content just to have been Contenders”—urgency from Phillies and others to win now as windows for current cores begin to close.

4. Pop Culture/Offbeat Segments

Time: [66:05] - end

Ippei Mizuhara Dramatization Lands at Starz

[66:15]

Planned docudrama about Shohei Ohtani's former interpreter Ippei Mizuhara and the gambling scandal.
Ben is skeptical: “By the time it comes out, it will literally be old news… would it be entertaining to watch someone gamble on their phone?”
Meg and Ben riff on the peculiarities of sports bio-dramas.

Lane Kiffin "PR Dog" Scandal

[75:32]

Lane Kiffin, college football coach, is revealed to have possibly faked his dog’s “public” persona to rehabilitate his own image—a story Meg gleefully ties to her jokes about Ohtani’s dog being a PR invention.
Ben: “Even having dogs does not make you a good person… even Cruella de Vil had Dalmatians.”

Cruella de Vil & Fur Lore

Surreal tangent on the Disney villain’s motivation and Hollywood’s dog-fur logic.

5. Memorable Quotes & Moments

[14:54] Meg Rowley (on Boras mixing up cities): "Tamploosa makes no sense. He had to have just goosed that. ... Tamploosa's wrong. That's wrong. He just got it wrong."
[31:10] Meg Rowley (grading Boras): "The exercise receives a failing grade because of how bad that answer was."
[34:16] Ben Lindbergh: "You have to appreciate the puns while we have them—they're precious. We'll be wishing for Boras puns next year if there's no Winter Meetings."
[36:21] Meg Rowley (on Schwarber): "He's DH only. He is real, real, real, real DH only at this point. Birds, Birds, Birds, Birds."
[46:44] Ben Lindbergh (on Orioles): "Frequent refrain on this podcast... What on earth. Please… what are you doing? Go sign a starting pitcher."
[52:22] Meg Rowley: "I am a little bit of a Dodgers provocateur. Not of the Dodgers, but of the Dodger haters..."
[82:56] Ben Lindbergh: "I won't call it vindication, but at least the concept has been vindicated," referencing Meg's PR dog theory.

Timestamps: Notable Segments

00:30 — Setting the scene: Winter meetings, Boras tradition
05:09 — First Boras pun (Tatsuya Imai)
07:16 — Alex Bregman puns
11:09 — Ranger Suarez: "Armed and Rangerous"
13:24 — Pete Alonso: "Bear market"/"Tamploosa"
19:00 — Skubal: "Saber-proof Tiger” + “Mystery Machine”
22:28 — Zac Gallen: “A Gallen is always premium”
25:03 — Bellinger: “Team code” wordplay
36:02 — Phillies re-sign Schwarber; contract reactions
52:05 — Dodgers sign Edwin Diaz: analysis + context
66:15 — Ippei drama series at Starz
75:32 — Lane Kiffin "PR dog" saga
85:00 — Disney villains’ dog fur couture tangent

Overall Tone & Style

Witty, skeptical, extremely inside-baseball.
Meg: Deadpan, acerbic, and lovingly exasperated with both Boras and MLB foibles.
Ben: Analytical, wry, detail-oriented, and patient, but with flashes of sharp commentary.

Summary Table: Boras Puns and Analysis

Effectively Wild Episode 2412: It’s the Most Punderful Time of the Year

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Summary

Effectively Wild Episode 2412: "It’s the Most Punderful Time of the Year"

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Scott Boras Pun Tradition

Boras’s Notable Puns (with Speaker Attribution & Timestamps):

Rating the 2025 Class of Boras Puns

2. Real Baseball News: Phillies, Dodgers, and Market Trends

Kyle Schwarber Re-signs with the Phillies

Edwin Diaz to the Dodgers

On the Pirates and Marlins Spending More

Minor Signings and Pitching Market

3. Broader Offseason Themes & MLB Labor Context

4. Pop Culture/Offbeat Segments

Ippei Mizuhara Dramatization Lands at Starz

Lane Kiffin "PR Dog" Scandal

Cruella de Vil & Fur Lore

5. Memorable Quotes & Moments

Timestamps: Notable Segments

Overall Tone & Style

Summary Table: Boras Puns and Analysis

Final Thoughts

Summary

Effectively Wild Episode 2412: "It’s the Most Punderful Time of the Year"

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Scott Boras Pun Tradition

Boras’s Notable Puns (with Speaker Attribution & Timestamps):

Rating the 2025 Class of Boras Puns

2. Real Baseball News: Phillies, Dodgers, and Market Trends

Kyle Schwarber Re-signs with the Phillies

Edwin Diaz to the Dodgers

On the Pirates and Marlins Spending More

Minor Signings and Pitching Market

3. Broader Offseason Themes & MLB Labor Context

4. Pop Culture/Offbeat Segments

Ippei Mizuhara Dramatization Lands at Starz

Lane Kiffin "PR Dog" Scandal

Cruella de Vil & Fur Lore

5. Memorable Quotes & Moments

Timestamps: Notable Segments

Overall Tone & Style

Summary Table: Boras Puns and Analysis

Final Thoughts