1000 burger challenge

Summary

Emergency Intercom – “1000 Burger Challenge”

Episode Date: October 22, 2025
Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Guest(s): Kai, Josh

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode is classic Emergency Intercom: a chaotic, free-flowing conversation that swerves between comedic banter, internet rumors, queer and pop culture discourse, personal anecdotes, mental health confessions, and ongoing inside jokes. There’s no real “1000 burger challenge” (despite the title) — instead, Drew, Enya, Kai, and Josh riff on everything from Taylor Swift streams and Bruno Mars conspiracy theories to oversharing about stress habits, spirituality, and pharmacist apathy.
The episode’s overall tone is irreverent, vulnerable, and extremely online, capturing the hosts’ dynamic blend of sardonic humor and genuine introspection.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bathroom Humor & Openers

• The show kicks off with classic crude humor, including farts and running jokes about loose buttholes.
  Drew: "That was a loose ran through butthole." (03:14)
• Quick pivots into chart banter about album streams and the simulation-like existence of celebrities.

2. Pop Culture & Streaming Statistics

• Intense discussion about how album and artist success is measured, poking fun at Spotify stats.
  Drew: "Almost every song on that album has over 100 million listens. How she's third in the world on Spotify, which I know drives her up the wall." (03:52)
• Drew theorizes Bruno Mars is a "Sims character" who’s "in debt to Vegas," leading to a recurring bit about celebrity realness.

3. Gambling & Masculinity

• Extended riff on the universal male gambling addiction, from casinos to emotional risks to "not pulling out" as the ultimate gamble.
• Josh: "Or, like, not pulling out. It's another way that men gamble." (05:05)

4. Waymo, Religion, and the Future

• Drew ponders if taking a self-driving car to church is “sinful” and whether Jesus "did shrooms first" to become so morally advanced.
  Drew: "Jesus might have just been one of the first, like, morally, like, chemically balanced people. And that's why people with him..." (06:24)

5. Queer Identity & Language Nuance

• A strikingly honest segment about reclaiming slurs, individual comfort with labels, and the generational baggage of the word “queer.”
  • Drew: "If someone could call me faggot to my face and I'd, like, laugh out loud and be like, hehe, ha ha. But if someone called me queer to my face, it would melt me. And I think it's just because I grew up hearing that word." (07:41)

6. Media Rumors & Internet Gullibility

• Extended, hilarious confusion about the rumor that Ed Sheeran is gay, with Drew recounting being duped by a TikTok.
  • Drew: "Ed Sheeran came out as gay with his boyfriend of a decade, and he's dating a big old hairy, stinky bear. And that is a person that I did not clock as gay..." (09:36)
  • Drew admits to spreading the rumor, then realizes it's a troll: "You're literally the source that lied is coming back randomly. Never mentioned the lie again. It's coming back and saying, guys, this actually might be true." (13:27)
• Quick digression about Lady Gaga in "Devil Wears Prada 2" — revealing how misinformation spreads and sticks online.

7. Algorithms, Ads, and Privacy Fatigue

• High-energy complaints about ad targeting, surveillance tech, and “no more foreplay” from algorithms.
  • Drew: "It literally feels like there's just no more foreplay. Like, there's not even like the TSA of technology where there's like a veil of safety." (18:11)
  • Frustration with location-based ads, TikTok trends, and the feeling of being stalked by devices.

8. Net Neutrality & Data Control

• Casual but insightful debate about net neutrality’s demise, data rights, and late-capitalist powerlessness.
  • Josh: "They need to have omnipresent control over our lives." (19:43)
  • Drew: "We should just give all of the control to one person because then it's like easier." (19:59)

9. Body Art, Sexuality & Freak Culture

• Nostalgic discussion about body painting TV competitions and the sexual charge of that art form.
  • Drew: "There's this level of, like, sexuality, like eroticism that I can't get past. It's literally like all of them are, like, freaky freaks..." (25:18)
• Wild anecdote about a Twitter-famous artist who paints with his penis.

10. Parties, Gays, and Attractiveness

• Personal stories about parties, being hit on, and the difference between being around straight vs. gay crowds.
  • Drew: "I did get hit on the most I've ever gotten hit on at a party on Friday...98% of the people there are gay guys." (27:47)

11. Friendship Maintenance & Messaging Etiquette

• Conversation about the social fatigue from endless meme/short videos sharing, and whether a response is always expected.
  • Drew: "How am I just like crazy? I can't live in a kind of relationship with really anybody other than my 17 year old sister, where our back and forth is just sending each other reels and stuff." (30:16)
• Anxiety about being overwhelmed by social ties; self-awareness about over-caretaking.

12. Stress, Anxiety & Weird Habits

• Multiple hosts get real about old stress-induced habits returning (like skin picking, eating nerves, new wounds).
  • Drew: "It's really bad. I, like, stopped. I used to have a habit of eating the skin around my fingers almost to the bone..." (32:42)
• Vulnerability about panic attacks, stress psoriasis, low testosterone (and a misread lab chart).

13. AIDS, Medication & the Modern Gay Experience

• Darkly comic and informative segment on PrEP, AIDS stigma, and how treatment advances have changed attitudes.
  • Drew: "It's like lit now to get AIDS." (36:47)
  • Josh: "Wasn't there just a new breakthrough with AIDS treatment?" (35:55)

14. Mental Health & Psychiatrist Apathy

• Hosts vent about transactional, apathetic healthcare (especially psychiatrists), with stories of doctors letting patients call the med shots.
  • Drew: "Are you supposed to talk to your psychiatrist? Like, for real? For real." (60:02)
  • Josh: "Honestly, like, what do you want to take?” — admitting to requesting whatever his roommate is using. (61:13)

15. Physical Menus, QR Codes, and Tech Resistance

• Rants about failed QR codes and the nostalgia for sticky, physical menus — anti-ghost kitchen energy.
  • Drew: "If I'm in a restaurant and there isn't a physical menu, I'm immediately struck with, like, the presence of a ghost kitchen. Like, it literally is like, you're not real." (53:12)

16. Cooking, Eating, and Questionable Hygiene

• Arguments about eating leftover cookies and fried chicken left out overnight, defying food safety logic.
  • Drew: "Should I go as preservatives?" (55:41)
  • Josh: "I did get jollibee last night...and this morning, I proceeded to eat two things of fried chicken." (57:22)

17. Dreams, Colors, and Jungian Reading

• Drew shares a dream that was “just colors,” leading to speculation about the “origin of consciousness” (and a live book unboxing).
  • Drew: "My dream, unironically, was colors. My dream was colors. That's it. Like, it felt like flashing lights and colors." (58:01)
  • ASMR unboxing of Jung’s The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious (65:30)

18. Media & Song Recs

• Hosts share current obsessions: Abbott Elementary, Death Grips, the Tron soundtrack, Uffie, and a brief confusion over Korean vs. French indie artists.
  • “Just listen to Death Grips — some of the best music ever.” (69:04)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Jesus might have just been one of the first, morally, like, chemically balanced people. And that's why people with him." – Drew (06:24)
• "If someone could call me faggot to my face and I'd, like, laugh out loud... But if someone called me queer to my face, it would melt me." – Drew (07:41)
• "You're literally the source that lied is coming back randomly... saying, guys, this actually might be true." – Drew (13:27)
• "It literally feels like there's just no more foreplay... now it's so obvious. Like, it goes from, oh, this is cute. You know me to, oh, my God, you're a stalker." – Drew (18:11)
• "They need to have omnipresent control over our lives." – Josh (19:43)
• "It's like lit now to get AIDS." – Drew (36:47)
• "If I'm in a restaurant and there isn't a physical menu, I'm immediately struck with, like, the presence of a ghost kitchen." – Drew (53:12)
• "It's just like, it doesn't even matter. Like, my hands are tools to put in my mouth." – Drew (44:47)
• "You're literally the friend that's too woke." – Josh (45:21)
• "Should I pay my ass... useless psychiatrist who literally doesn't give a if I live or die?" – Drew (60:02)

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Timestamped Highlights

• 03:14 Fart jokes, Drew’s signature opening banter
• 03:52 Taylor Swift streaming stats / Bruno Mars bit
• 05:05 Men and gambling analogy
• 06:02–07:41 Jesus as a chill guy; queer slang and comfort with terms
• 09:15 Ed Sheeran “is gay” rumor — long, absurd tangent
• 13:27 Media literacy in the internet age
• 18:11 Paranoia about phones stalking you
• 19:10–19:39 Remembering Snowden, net neutrality, and data privacy loss
• 25:18 Body painting and sexuality
• 32:42 Compulsive stress habits return
• 36:47 Modern gay health (AIDS/PrEP advances)
• 44:52 OCD quirks and overcleaning
• 53:12 Physical menus vs. QR code loathing
• 61:13 Psychiatrists not caring; "Just name your meds"
• 65:30 Jung book ASMR and collective unconscious philosophical riff

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Tone and Language

The hosts’ language is frank, unfiltered, deeply internet-pilled, and loaded with in-group references. It veers between raunchy, self-deprecating humor and surprising moments of sincerity, vulnerability, and social commentary — all steeped in a Gen Z digital-age sensibility.

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Useful for Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In

Even if you missed the episode, you’ll get a sense of the Emergency Intercom experience: high-energy brain spill, inside jokes, deeply meta commentary on culture, media, and identity. The topics range refreshingly from pop stars’ chart positions to existential and psychological musings — all without ever taking themselves too seriously.

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If you want the TL;DR:
Emergency Intercom’s “1000 Burger Challenge” is a meandering, highly entertaining episode, blending toilet humor, pop culture critique, intimate self-confessions about queer identity, and anxious rants about tech’s encroachments. The hosts’ rapport is raw and relatable, making for a rollercoaster listen that’s as silly as it is sharp.

Transcript

[Drew]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Kai]

So my friends text let's do a quick little weekend getaway. Super chill, right?

[Drew]

Famous last words.

[Kai]

Suddenly someone's buying a bonfire outfit and apparently there's a boat. Now that's when I pull out my Klarna card. Swipe done. And if I want it off my plate now, I can pay in full or I can pay later. No IOUs, no stress because the Klarna card isn't just a card. It's how you survive. Friends plans plus no credit impact when you apply. Learn more about klarna [e-mail] debit flex card pay Later Plans issued by web bank depos in your balance account are held at WebBank member FDIC anywhere visa is accepted, certain merchant product good and service restrictions apply. Some merchants do not accept virtual cards. Physical card only included with a paid Karna membership plan.

[Bloomberg Host]

The Big Take Podcast from Bloomberg News keeps you on top of the biggest stories of the day.

[Drew]

My fellow Americans, this is Liberation Day.

[Bloomberg Host]

Stories that move markets.

[Drew]

Chair Powell opened the door to this first interest rate cut.

[Bloomberg Host]

Impact politics, change businesses.

[Drew]

This is a really stunning development for.

[Bloomberg Host]

The AI world and how you think about your bottom line. Listen to the big Take from Bloomberg News every weekday afternoon on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Hello, America's sweetheart. Johnny Knoxville here. I want to tell you about my new true crime podcast, Crimeless Hillbilly Heist from Smartless Media, Campside Media and big Money Players. It's a wild tale about a gang of high functioning nitwits who somehow pulled off America's third largest cash heist.

[Nintendo Advertiser]

Kind of like Robin Hood, except for.

[Drew]

The part where he steals from the.

[Kal Penn]

Rich and gives to the poor.

[Drew]

I'm not that generous.

[Johnny Knoxville]

It's a damn near inspiring true story for anyone out there who's ever shot for the moon, then just totally muffed up the landing.

[Drew]

They stole $17 million and had not bought a ticket to help him escape. So we're sitting like, oh God, what do we do? What do we do?

[Nintendo Advertiser]

That was dumb.

[Drew]

People do not follow my example.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Listen to Crimeless Hillbilly Heist on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Kal Penn]

Hey, I'm Kalpen and on my new podcast, Here We Go Again, we'll take today's trends and headlines and ask, why does history keep repeating itself? Each week I'm calling up my friends like Bill Nye, Lilly Singh and Pete Buttigieg to talk about Everything from the space race to movie remakes to psychedelics.

[Drew]

Put another way, are you high?

[Kal Penn]

Look, the world can seem pretty scary right now, but my goal here is for you to listen and feel a little better about the future. Listen and subscribe to Here we go again with Kal Penn on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Drew]

That is actually so gross.

[Josh]

That sounded crazy because it's in my ears. I've never.

[Drew]

That was a loose ran through butthole.

Yeah, yeah.

That fart fell out of.

That ran through, but y. I kind of, like, whipped past your teeth.

[Josh]

No, it didn't. Yeah, it was tight. And that's why it wasn't very long.

[Drew]

It had a fast getaway in a getaway car.

[Josh]

In a getaway car.

[Drew]

Did you know how good her album is streaming?

Wait, no, it's not.

It is streaming unbelievably well.

[Kai]

That works so well.

[Drew]

Cause at this point, no matter if your album is good or not, thank God, everybody is going to post a video under the sound allotting you one more stream to give their think piece of how bad it is.

Almost every song on that album. Album has over 100 million listens. How she's third in the world on Spotify, which I know drives her up the wall. Like, I know she's so pissed about that because when she releases an album, Taylor's number one, the Weeknd's number one. Bruno Mars is still number two. That is trapped in a. Bruno Mars is one of those people that Las Vegas. He's in debt to Vegas.

There's some people who, like, I meet in my personal life who I would describe as Sims characters because he's not real. When I turn off the computer, is he real?

Has anybody actually seen him in real life?

What I'm saying is, literally, it's like when you turn off the computer, your Sims character no longer is here. When Bruno Mars gets taken off of an MTV stage, he literally gets like.

Like, oh, my God.

And they pull him back into, I guess, the casino.

Cause I'm the casino. Yeah, he's in the casino.

He's a free man, but he's. He's being held captive by gambling addiction.

Is not funny in you.

I know it's not funny because I think every man has a gambling addiction.

It's in our DNA, whether it's with slots, blackjack, Emotional, physical, emotional gambling. Crypto. As a man, you're addicted to wine.

[Josh]

Or, like, not pulling out. It's another way that men gamble. Well, go on Continue. Because I was just adding to it, dude.

[Drew]

The fart. And that being your only addition to this so far is not looking good.

[Josh]

I know it's not. This is looking like a bad episode for me.

[Drew]

Oh, well, on the way here, on the way back home, I saw somebody pulling up to church in a waymo, and I can't lie.

That's demonic.

Yeah. That's why I literally wrote down. I was like, is getting to church on a waymo sinful? And, like, in my head, I'm like, okay, there's a desperation, and there's a need to be with your faith, so you're willing to take a who. But I also have a feeling it's more like, I don't want to be around anybody. I just want to go to church and be around the people at my church. Like, it just feels sinful. Also, I know that there's no way the Bible could have predicted, like, technological advances, but at no point did Jesus, before getting on the cross, like, do kind of, like, you know, in movies.

Oh, my God. This is really deep, what you're about to say.

When they do, like, a group huddle, and they're like, guys, no matter where this ends up, we're all a family, and we all love each other. We'll all remember this moment. Did he not do that before? It was like, okay, disperse, because now, literally no one has, like. No one has any idea when to, like, kick.

Wait, did Jesus see the future? Was that his thing?

I mean, he wrote a whole book that people follow. I'd hope he saw the future. I don't know what Jesus was up to. I thought Jesus was just a chill dude with, like, really? I think Jesus might have just been one of the first, like, morally, like, chemically balanced people. And that's why people with him, because he was the first one who was like, guys, like, is it not fucked up to just, like, be killing people?

[Josh]

Yeah, he was probably the first guy to have that idea.

[Drew]

Yeah, he did shrooms first, so that's what.

[Josh]

Oh, that's. It opened his mind. Men need to do that to open their mind. Drew has this weird theory, though, that he was with the trade. You keep saying that. You said that the other episode.

[Drew]

What, wait, like, Jesus was with trade? Jesus was with the sluts, the prostitutes, the gays. He was kikiing with all of us. You're the slut. You're the trade.

[Josh]

Thank you.

[Drew]

I'm the prostitute, not the gay.

You are actually a rare combination of gay prostitute.

I'm a rare combination of Cool guy with good energy. That's so happy.

People, for some reason, love to say gay too, but you're not. You're so much more than that. You're queer.

Thank you. I actually have a weird relationship with that word.

Oh, this is sexy with the word queer.

[Josh]

What you're doing is sexy.

[Drew]

Wow.

[Josh]

Like, getting up and fixing that with your arms.

[Drew]

No, I literally. If someone could call me faggot to my face and I'd, like, laugh out loud and be like, hehe, ha ha. But if someone called me queer to my face, it would melt me. And I think it's just because I grew up hearing that word.

Yeah. Hearing that. Being thrown around. I don't know that I heard that term ever being thrown around. Because to me, like, queer, even as a kid in my head was always like, upper echelon of gay people. Like, does that make sense? Like, to me, to be queer was like, oh, you've got it all the way fucking figured it out, bitch. Like, that's. I'm like, you're on a different level. Like, you're seriously going to the nationals with this shit.

There's like a. There's. The old definition of queer was, like, strange and peculiar.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So we need to reclaim that. And, like, Kai is queer queer. And yes, queer, but not like, gay as in, he's a strange, peculiar guy.

I actually think that might be doing the reverse, like, of what?

Like, I know queer, strange. Yeah, you're a weirdo.

Like, the way the Internet loves to just, like, take jokes and run them into the ground within three seconds. All top TikTok comments for, like, three months would be like, someone's feeling queer.

Taylor Swift writes a song speaking of queer. This is the only topic, y', all, that I have written down today because my life has been consumed with a lot of other shit this week. Ed Sheeran is gay.

No, he's not.

I swear to fucking God. He posted a TikTok with his boyfriend.

[Kai]

Of over a decade.

[Drew]

You're lying.

I swear. I swear to fucking God.

You're mistaking Ed Sheeran and his husband for Dan and Phil.

They. They are gay, which is so sick.

I love that. I'm so obsessed. No, I haven't taken a moment to.

Watch because, like, Ed Sheeran came out as gay with his boyfriend of a decade, and he's dating a big old hairy, stinky bear. And that is a person that I did not clock as gay. And no one ever clocked that.

I know this has to be like.

Wait, pause the music. Pause the music.

Is this a joke?

This is dead serious.

No, I think he's bo. I think Ed Sheeran is married to a woman. Drew. It's a carousel of photos that says, fine, I'll go on one more date. Has a bunch of pictures of him with this guy. I don't know who this guy is. And the caption is 10 years in and still going strong, and it's really giving, like those Carly Claws and Taylor Swift. So, like, I do that with my female friends literally all the time. Well, God damn if strides aren't being made in history and Sheeran is gay, we should just let that rock.

I'm un.

Yeah, you're. No, you're not unk. You're just quick to open your mouth, which is a habit both of us have.

See what happened?

Did you seriously think that.

Yes. Dead serious. Dead fucking serious. But what happened was Stephen texted me that video and was like, ed Sheeran's gay. And he was gagged by it, and I was like, oh, my God, this is crazy. Ed Sheeran is gay. What the fuck? And then I kept that close to my chest because I wanted to talk about it on the podcast. Yeah, bitch. I'm like, geriatric as fuck. I need to start using the Internet again. I'm like. It's like a muscle. Like, I'm losing mass because I'm not using.

I don't think that's the worst thing.

Well, no, the worst thing is me actually thinking Lady Gaga was in Devil Wears Prada, too, actually.

I can't believe that.

She actually might be in it, by the way.

Oh, my God.

She wore the armadillo heels. The armadillo heels.

Wait, I'm so confused. Why would she be in that? I would hate that.

Because she's Lady Gaga.

But I'm like, there shouldn't be. Okay, okay, okay. I'm gonna be brave and say it. Them making a two is so up. Like, look at the state of our goddamn country. We can't have anything sacred.

Well, you know, Emma Chamberlain's gonna be the next Anna Wintour. I saw a TikTok on it.

Okay, you really need to stop just repeating stuff, because now I can't. I'm like, what? I'm like, is she a writer or. Of her replacing Anna Wintour. I would love that. I wish she started dressing like that. I'd be so happy.

Just floral.

No, but no. Being a dickhead and having your fucking sunglasses on inside. Which is very brave of me to say, like, about Anna Wintour, but actually, I literally like who gives a fuck Challenge. Like what? Like, I can't believe somebody has gotten away with wearing their sunglasses inside all the time like that. Like, what?

[Josh]

Wait, so you're saying that she's not in it? Lady Gaga?

[Drew]

Well, okay, so what happened is, like, a couple months ago, I saw a tweet saying that Lady Gaga was in Devil Wears Prada, too. And then it came. Like, I believed it. And then I showed someone, and they were like, drew, you're batshit crazy. This is a troll. Like, you fell for a joke. And then, like, a last week or two weeks ago, the same person that tweeted the original was like, oh, I started this rumor, but it's actually true. And then there was a whole like.

So you're believing a liar?

Yes.

You're literally the source that lied is coming back randomly. Never mentioned the lie again. It's coming back and saying, guys, this actually might be true.

This actually might be real. Dude, you only believe that because you're.

Also the freak who loves to just every now and then on the podcast, be like, there's gonna be an earthquake. Or you'll say something like that, just so that if it happens, there's a clip of you before.

[Josh]

Well, I did some research, and it says that she does perform an unrele song in the Devil Wears Prada, too.

[Drew]

Why? And how?

[Josh]

I don't know. It's probably some cool scenes.

[Drew]

People watch the Met gala and give a shit.

The original tweet. First look at Lady Gaga on set. The Devil Wears Prada, too, and these photos of her. And I was like, oh, okay.

She looks amazing.

So kind. And I was like, that's so tea.

Wow.

And then spread that rhetoric got made fun of for falling for a joke. And then this person said the way I invented this rumor, and in the end, it became real.

Oh, so maybe it is real.

Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Who knows? We'll never know. You can just lie on the Internet.

I know. Yeah, you can just lie. And it goes so far. No, you don't. Like, you literally are incapable of, like, having those kind of feelings. And it makes me sad because, like, we're gonna have to get married.

I know.

I mean, with the way shit's looking, we're seriously gonna have to get married. Are we gonna get in trouble? Like, are they gonna be like, this isn't.

[Kai]

No.

[Drew]

What they do is they make lavender marriages bang in front of them.

I'm trying to think of, like, what the equivalent of that has to be like, but it must be, like, if you're stuck in traffic and you, like, zoom around, someone accidentally almost cut them off and get into an accident, but then you all get stuck at the same light. That's what people who voted for Trump have to feel like right now, where insurance premiums quadrupled, there's like, no ebt, no food stamps. Like, everything's getting, like. Also, we have to, like. We used to, like, joke about how Mr. Beast's video was becoming, like, you would always say the word for it, that it was programming. Yeah, it's like predictive programming. Trump flying missiles over the i5 on a random. Like, what was that? Like, Sunday morning? That is literally predict. I'm convinced that's predictive programming because, oh, we're gonna. We're gonna get ours. Like, America. Like, oh, we're gonna get ours. I feel like we're about to get slapped. Like, even more slap is about to come for citizens who have nothing to do with this man. For the disrespect. He goes around and does like, oh, my God, guys.

[Josh]

Well, did you see the video where he's like, I don't think I'm gonna get into heaven.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. On. On the airplane.

[Josh]

We're like, no, dude, you're not.

[Drew]

Yeah, we know this. You're literally a molester and a child predator. Like, we know, we know.

Did y' all see that? He's knocking down part of, like, a historical, like, keepsake part of the. I don't know what it's usually for in the White House. It is currently being bulldozed down to become a ballroom, which is crazy because this is the guy.

Wait, a room?

He had access to a ballroom?

I want to go.

Oh, you fill the ballrooms with quite interesting kids. Like, we're letting him have a ballroom in the house.

Wait, it's a room full of gay balls.

Oh, is that what you're thinking?

No, no, that's what I want to go.

It's not like a ball pit. Like, pit of balls.

I want to swim in nut sacks. That would feel really good, actually.

Ew, that is disgusting. It would feel like the.

Like a ball sack on a hot day. Like, minus. Like the aroma. Like, it's like soft and squidgy. The people that have balls.

You're so disgusting. I miss when our phones would listen to us in, like, a low key way, you know, when. Like, every now and then it'd be like, this ad is so targeted, it. Like, they must have heard. Now. I've been thinking. I don't even think I've said it out loud that often, and I don't think I've even looked up beads. But I, like, watched, like, two videos of, like, beading work on my TikTok. My whole timeline is beads. Like, it literally feel like now it's so obvious. Like, it goes from, oh, this is cute. You're, you know me to like, oh, my God, you're a stalker. This is really creepy.

Like, I just had that moment literally last night. I was, like, scrolling on my phone. I'm staying at the proper hotel. Literally didn't even say the name proper hotel. And I guess my GPS signal just, like, put me onto the property. I don't fucking know.

Well, the first day in any new city is always so jarring because it's like, God damn, you were following me crazy. Like, I know I put you in my pocket in my purse, and I, like, pay for you to do all this, but this gets to a point, like, I hate landing in somewhere. Like, if I were to go to Chicago, it'd be like, top 10 places to eat in Chicago. I love Chicago. Like, all of a sudden on my timeline, I haven't looked it up. I haven't done anything. It's like two ways, you know, you're in Chicago. Like, chill the fuck out. Damn. It literally feels like there's just no more foreplay. Like, there's not even like the TSA of techn technology where there's like a veil of safety. There's not even like a. Oh, we're kind of watching. It's like, no, bitch.

[Josh]

You're like, there's no honeymoon phase where they're gaslighting you and being like, I. I'm not listening to you. What are you talking about?

[Drew]

No.

Yeah. And I miss that. And I miss that, like, because it feels like there's kind of no way of going around.

What was the shit that went down when I was in middle school about the Internet with that one guy, the FTC guy?

[Josh]

Oh, Edward Snowden.

[Drew]

But it was the same time as Snowden. It was like they were trying to shut down the Internet or some shit.

[Josh]

Oh, net neutrality.

[Drew]

Net neutrality, Yeah.

[Josh]

I think that ended up.

[Drew]

Wasn't that. Didn't that end up being, like, a good thing?

[Josh]

No, Net neutrality. I think net neutrality is the term for what they didn't want to lose. I forget what his name is, but I actually do think that the Trump administration did finally, this one got rid of it. I read something recently.

[Drew]

Got rid of net neutrality.

[Josh]

I think so. And I think that is the.

[Drew]

It had something to do with our data, right?

[Josh]

Yeah. I don't remember what it was, but it was like very bad and kind of prioritized the needs of corporations with which actually maybe they need that because there's so many people that work there. They need to have omnipresent control over our lives.

[Drew]

Yeah, maybe, maybe.

Yeah. We should just give all of the control to one person because then it's like easier. It's like, oh, we don't even have to oof, just kick my feet up kind of situation.

The Coco robots, the Patel robots, the Patel.

[Kai]

I know you remember that doctor appointment you were planning on making a while ago, the one you meant to book but you got sidetracked and completely forgot.

[Drew]

Why not book an on zocdoc? I don't know about you guys, but.

[Kai]

My entire social feed is full of.

[Drew]

Red light therapy right now.

[Kai]

I genuinely don't think that's real.

[Drew]

I think it's actually causing real, genuine.

[Kai]

Issues with your skin. So please stop and go to a dermatologist, like immediately, like a real dermatologist, and book it through Zocdoc. Leave it to a professional. Oh, and let's not forget I'm geriatric now and I can't sleep at night. I'm so stressed all the time. But finding a doctor can be tough.

[Drew]

That's where ZocDoc comes into play. ZocDoc is a free app and website.

[Kai]

Where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and instantly click.

[Drew]

To book an appointment. Y', all, I've mentioned my sleep issues. They're debilitating.

[Kai]

And trust and believe a doctor appointment.

[Drew]

Has been booked through Zocdoc. Stop putting off those doctor appointments and.

[Kai]

Go to Zocdoc.comIntercom to find and instantly.

[Drew]

Book a top rated doctor today.

[Kai]

That's z o c d o c.com Zocdoc.com Intercom so my friends text, let's do a quick little weekend getaway. Super chill, right?

[Drew]

Famous last words.

[Kai]

Suddenly someone's buying a bonfire outfit. The Airbnb costs more than my car and apparently there's a boat now, literally, when did this turn into Coachella? That's when I pull out my Klarna card. Swipe done. And if I want it off my plate now, I can pay in full or I can pay later. And there's no group chat math to figure it out. Oh, also, my budget's still breathing. No IOUs, no stress. Because the Klarna card isn't just a card, it's how you survive. Friends super chill plans, dinners, outfits, random trips you didn't plan for covered plus no credit impact when you apply, so next time the plans spiral. Stay in control. Learn more About [e-mail] Debit Flex Card Pay later plans issued by Webbank Deposits in your balance account are held at Webbank Member FDIC Anywhere Visa is accepted, certain merchant product good and service restrictions apply. Some merchants do not accept virtual physical card only included with a paid Klarna.

[Bloomberg Host]

Membership plan the Big Take podcast from Bloomberg News dives deep into one big global business story.

[Nintendo Advertiser]

Every weekday, a shutdown means we don't get the data, but it also means for President Trump that there's no chance of bad news on the labor market.

[Bloomberg Host]

What does a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich reveal about the economy? Our breakfast foods are consistent consumer staples, and so they sort of become outsize indicators of inflation. What's behind Elon Musk's trillion dollar payout?

[Drew]

There's a sort of concerted effort to message that Musk is coming back. He's putting politics aside. He's left the White House.

[Bloomberg Host]

And what can the PCE tell you that the CPI can't?

[Drew]

CPI tries to measure out of pocket costs that consumers are paying for things, whereas the PC index that the Fed targets is a little bit broader of a measure.

[Bloomberg Host]

Listen to the big take from Bloomberg News every weekday afternoon on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Drew]

Here We Go.

[Kal Penn]

Hey, I'm Kalpen, and on my new podcast, Here We Go Again, we'll take today's trends and headlines and ask, why does history keep repeating itself? You may know me as the second hottest actor from the Harold and Kumar movies, but I'm also an author, a White House staffer, and, as of like 15 seconds ago, a podcast host. Along the way, I've made some friends who are experts in science, politics and pop culture, and each week one of them will be joining me to answer my burning questions, like, are we heading towards another financial crash? Like in 08? Is non monogamy back in style? And how come there's never a gate ready for your flight when it lands, like two minutes early? We've got guests like Pete Buttigieg, Stacey Abrams, Lilly Singh, and Bill Nye.

[Drew]

When you start weaponizing outer space, things can potentially go really wrong.

[Kal Penn]

Look, the world can seem pretty scary right now, because it is. But my goal here is for you to listen and feel a little better about the future. Listen and subscribe to Here We Go Again With Kal Penn on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Drew]

Cash Patel.

Oh, used to watch the show about body painting. It was like, you know that tattoo show, like, inked or whatever. They did that with body painting for, like, two seasons, and obviously no one gave a. But, like, I literally loved that show. And also, like.

Like sfx or was it just, like.

It was literally just body painting.

[Josh]

So it was just naked attachments and stuff?

[Drew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You would get, like, six canvases and then make a peacock or whatever. Make six body canvases.

Wait, like, painting with your body?

No, no, no. Painting on someone's body.

Okay, so you would get six bodies.

Sometimes for, like, the finales or, like, big, big ones. And the show is terrible, but, like, I was really young watching it, and I was like, this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to be a body painter. But there's, like. There's this level of, like, sexuality, like. Like eroticism that I can't get past.

Well, yeah, it's like foreplay. It's literally like.

No, it's literally like all of them are, like, freaky freaks. Like, literally just, like, probably finger blasting each other as they get painted. Like, I don't know. There's this, like, one artist dude that paints with his, like, erect penis, and I see it on Twitter all of the time, and he, like, rolls around and, like, like, jerks off with the paint and shit. Honestly, the gays know what I'm talking about.

Because, like, everyone loves to claim that they're, like, super freaked out. Everyone's a freak now. And I'm like, you guys seriously aren't freaks. This is like. This is the. Who's being freaky beyond means for no goddamn reason. It's like, oh, my God, I really need to re watch Killer Clowns from Outer Space.

Yeah.

[Josh]

What is that?

[Drew]

You haven't seen that?

[Josh]

I don't. Yeah, I've never heard that phrase in my entire life.

[Drew]

What are you doing tonight?

[Josh]

I have to work tonight.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Josh]

I have to work late.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

Well, we're gonna watch it in the living room on the new comfy couch.

Yeah. And you got a big, old, fat, stinky couch. It's so exciting.

[Josh]

And Josh is just sitting in the corner of the room and he tells everyone. Oh, I actually don't sit on that or else I'll fall asleep. So I still use the old one. He said that to me.

[Drew]

Are you serious?

[Josh]

He said it to Drew and watch.

[Drew]

He'Ll say it to you. He sits on like the couch that's by the piano, as far away as possible.

What?

Also, me and Kai got here at the exact same time and I went to my room immediately and like, like dropped my stuff off, went to the bathroom also. Y' all should see the state of my car. I have two kegs in there that are the heaviest things I've ever lifted in my entire life.

Beer in it?

A little bit. Little bit.

What? Why do you have them?

Cuz I had. Oh my God. I'll. I'll get into it in a second. Like, I really am going to get into it, but I need to finish this part. I walk into the living room and I sit down on the couch and I literally stop Kai and Josh in their tracks, like by my looks. Like Kai literally was like freaked out by how handsome I looked.

[Josh]

It's actually true. I did trail off in the middle.

[Drew]

Of a sentence and he couldn't remember what he was saying.

Oh my God.

[Josh]

I couldn't for like maybe 5 seconds.

[Drew]

Do the people like my new haircut?

It looks really good.

[Josh]

I think you look great.

[Drew]

I did get hit on the most I've ever gotten hit on at a party on Friday. But it was also like one of the few times I'm in a space where 98% of the people there are gay guys.

So yeah, yeah, who knows?

Maybe I am hands on.

I think you are. But yeah, you do definitely just suffer from being around majority straight guys. You. You get hit on way more often by women than men. Because I've seen women literally like. Yeah, I've seen women literally like, think they're they're me in 20. What, like 15. They, they start acting like me in 20. 15.

They start getting real silly. They start getting real funny around me.

Oh my God, that is amazing.

And I got a good fake laugh too.

What's your fake love?

[Kai]

Kai?

[Drew]

Show the video of the 6.

[Josh]

7.

[Drew]

What?

Oh, Kai texted me this yesterday.

He hexed you?

[Josh]

Where is it?

[Drew]

Kai hexed me yesterday.

Guys, my heart's not in this episode today.

Oh, why?

I'll tell you after.

[Josh]

This is it.

[Drew]

And I'm going to cry to you. Oh my God. I know a.

Buy me a drink first down. GPS says six hours, seven minutes. Were you alone doing that?

[Josh]

I was alone.

[Drew]

Six, seven. Who'd you all send that to?

[Josh]

I just sent it to you. Okay, well, cuz I sent it and I listened to it back and I was like, the laugh wasn't as funny as I thought it Was.

[Drew]

It was good, Kai.

[Josh]

But now seeing it back, I'm like, maybe I kind of ate that.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Did I eat.

[Drew]

You tore. Me and Guy have been texting each other in random gay slang a lot recently.

That's amazing. It's like a check in. It's like the new era of poking. The new era of poking that I really don't like. Is this idea that suddenly you're talking about Facebook poking? Yeah, like the new age of Facebook poking.

I just go up to girls and poke their vaginies in real life.

[Josh]

Real life, that's weird. You shouldn't do that.

[Drew]

You should grab Gaia's balls in real life. Straight or gay, I don't care.

I mean, that's really brave.

[Josh]

That is very brave.

[Drew]

I guess we need.

We need radical feminism.

That's. Yeah, it's radical queerness.

Strange behavior.

[Josh]

Wait, what's the new version of poking?

[Drew]

The new version of poking is somebody sending you the most unfunny fucking TikTok you've ever seen in your goddamn life. And then when you don't say anything, instead of just leaving it at that, you get eight more. And then it's like, how am I? Just like crazy. How am I? I can't live in a kind of relationship with really anybody other than my 17 year old sister, where our back and forth. I guess I kind of do it with Sophia, where our back and forth is just sending each other reels and stuff.

I think that is so special. I think I. I just feel the.

Need to respond to every single one. Like, I'm like, do you expect a comment from every single one? Like, do I have to acknowledge that I watched everyone like that? That's the kind of like, maybe.

Actually it's a me problem. I use. I used to be like that. And I gave up on that dream very quickly. I did DM rain on Instagram because she like texted or she sent me a meme on ig and then I was like, oh, this is really funny. She, like knows me. And then she sent me a second one and I was like, rain, you need to start sending me like every meme that you think of me. And she's like, okay. And now her entire feed is her just sending.

See, that's amazing. That's different. I guess I like. No, no, no. I. I just really get overwhelmed and I feel like I have to respond to everyone and I think I kind of suck the life out of it because I want to, like, acknowledge everyone. So, yeah, I guess, maybe.

Well, if you get six videos Sent to you in a row. Like, that's literally impossible to watch and react. All I do is like, girl, I have, like, one friend that has texted me. Actually, I'm gonna show you.

[Josh]

You.

[Drew]

I'm gonna show you, and you're gonna be like, what? Like, that's kind of sad, actually. And I just respond to one every six months, actually. This. Look at this.

This streak, dude. Oh, my God.

Every. Every six months, I respond to one.

Yeah, I just, I, I. It's kind of why I'm somebody who I think I'm really social and I can get along really well with anybody. I'm get. I get put in a room with for the most part, but I can't commit to that journey once we exit these doors because I have a weird issue where, like, I'm suddenly really overwhelmed at the thought of us becoming close. And then, like, me relying on you or vice versa. Like, I. I literally can future, like, like, anxious. Even friendships like that. I'm like, oh, my God. I'm literally going to take on too much anxiety because I want to take care of you.

Speaking of anxiety, look at my thumb.

Mine are pretty gross, too.

It's really bad. I, like, stopped. I used to have a habit of eating the skin around my fingers almost to the bone. And about, like, four or five years ago, I was able to, like, break that habit. And it's back in a very big way in the last week of my life, because this was the most stressful week of my entire life. Life. And it literally had nothing to do with me.

I mean. Yeah, that's like an I. I feel like I can't really reply without.

I planned a birthday.

Yeah.

And that was stressful. Me and Kai DJ'd it, though, and we had the gay guys dancing crazy.

I really did.

[Josh]

We had literally hundreds of gay guys.

[Drew]

Dancing, like, twerking, and it was so.

I really did love, love the set. Y' all did actually, like, it was a fun one. I wish I wore more comfortable shoes.

We didn't get to the song that I put on the playlist for you.

What was it? Just save it.

Yeah, I'll save it. I put two on there for you. But, yeah, we DJ'd. It was fun. What?

I'm, like, laughing at how much I just burped. And I'm thinking about how, like, I don't allow myself to drink beer or Topo Chico at social events anymore because of how much it makes me burp.

I. Okay, okay. I'm getting wounds on my body, by the way.

Oh, it's cuz you don't shower.

No, I've showered three times in the past two days.

It's stress psoriasis.

Is that. I think that might actually be what it is.

That's what it looks like. Or you have scabies. Scabies.

Yeah.

You probably have scabies.

Most likely scabies, but.

[Kai]

Oh.

[Drew]

Got all of my blood work back, y'.

[Josh]

All.

[Drew]

I don't have AIDS or hiv.

[Josh]

Let's go though.

[Drew]

Lit.

[Kai]

Lit.

[Drew]

Party, party, party. I've got low testosterone.

Okay.

[Kal Penn]

Lit.

[Drew]

So I'm going to get on t gel and get really jacked. Also, my inils are super high, dude.

The only. Like, I kind of do feel like an old head in regard to the fact that I know there's just so much conversation on whether I've had something done. I sadly am one of those old haggerty people who I think any sort of body modification other than, like, taking an antidepressant. I'm like, you're playing with God's vessel. Like, don't put that tea gel on you. That's crazy. Unless. There are obviously certain situations where, like, be free and do what you want with your body, but, like, what? You don't need more testosterone. You're gonna be evil.

I misread my chart. I literally am almost, like, above of, like, I. I have, like, the best testosterone you can get.

Oh, you're so annoying. Like, I literally thought you meant it. You read it wrong. Like, you had AIDS or something. Like, I literally was like, oh, my God. I'm sitting here going on a weird tangent about body mods.

[Josh]

Drew gets the worst news of his entire life.

[Drew]

That's how I find out, actually. No shame.

I believe they just put that on an app now that's up.

Like, getting AIDS is, like, not that deep anymore. It's literally, like.

Because it literally. There's medication and. But it's. Does. Oh, it does make your life so gnarly, though.

[Josh]

Didn't. Wasn't there just a new breakthrough with AIDS treatment?

[Drew]

The only gay guy in the room.

I mean, you brought it up.

I mean, there's doxy. There's, like, prep, which, like, you can take within 72 hours. So, like. Or I don't think it's prep. There's, like, a version of prep that you can take within, like, 72 hours of having, like, a risky hookup. And if you, like, get it in between or before that, like, it lowers your risk by, like, 99. Get it to get the pills in.

[Josh]

Oh, okay. Got it.

[Drew]

And then there's like prep, which if you're just like on constantly, you just like basically can't get AIDS or hiv. I don't know. But yeah, it's like lit now to get aids.

Saying that is so crazy. Are we ever gonna turn that off on?

Yeah, we just need an XLR cable.

We're never gonna turn that on.

That's basically.

That was the answer.

This is not getting turned. We have a room mic that's just been unplugged. So like, if we stand up, it'll be heard instead of like far away from the mic. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Let it out, let it out.

I cried in front of Kai and Josh on the couch.

Really? Oh my God. I didn't know it was that bad. I feel bad cause I'm having an amazing day.

No, I know. That's why I didn't tell you because they can tell you're having having a good day. So I'm gonna let you have your good day.

Okay. Thank you so much for that. Actually, can you take me out for a drink? Because I feel like my hair looks kind of good.

So I think I want to go.

To like, have a drink. Actually. I don't want to leave the house. Can you order a drink? And then I'll have it in a nice cup on the couch and we can watch Killer Clowns and then you're.

Gonna eat chocolate almonds on the couch and stay in there.

Oh, yeah. That. That couch doesn't stand a chance with you against me. Yeah, no, that's what I mean. I don't really care though. I was thinking about it and I was like, I genuinely am. I grew up in a really strict household where like, like I wasn't allowed to eat anywhere but the dining room table. To eat anywhere but the dining room table. Oh my God. Sorry. I have phlegm. To eat anywhere but the table was like, ho you want to go to jail? Like, what are you doing? So now I just. Once the demon got out. Oh, I eat everywhere and I spill cuz I didn't have any training.

You're spilling and you're eating.

I didn't have like to go through the thing as a child to make a mistake like that.

Are you serving too or is she your dad? Serving? Cuz you're spilling and eating tea.

But who's serving? Who's doing the dishes? I guess I'm doing the dishes cuz I was the girl.

Guys, I have one Drew Scop.

Really?

Yeah, one. I know deaf people sleep good as hell.

If I go in your shower and I don't see a single pube in your exfoliator or your loofah, I know you don't use it.

Y'. All, I'm, like, bushed out. Crazy right now. Same, but it's awesome.

I'm bushed out. No. Kim K. Do you think anybody.

I'm bushed out. No. 911. Oh, no, no, no, no. You don't want to talk about 911.

As, like, kind of like a hair, except, like, a volume thing. Like, I'm sure there's people who have bushes who are going to get the thong with the fur on it because it's just, like an added bush layer. It's like when, like, having a fat coochie became a thing. It's like, I know you don't have a fat pussy. That's bush.

[Kai]

I can tell.

[Josh]

If I was a woman, I would have a fat. And I know that for a fact. I saw this thing on TikTok, which.

[Drew]

My pussy would be leaking green.

Wait, what?

[Josh]

I saw this on TikTok and someone said, this is how I imagine Drew watches basketball. Wait.

[Drew]

This literally is. This literally is how I watch basketball.

Anything.

Wait, that jacket is crazy.

What jacket? The one over his shoulder. Yeah, look over your shoulder.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Kal Penn]

Yes.

[Kai]

Cooper.

[Drew]

Dude.

Oh, my God, it's Cooper.

I want to go to a basketball game, but I only want to go to a basketball game so I could get really drunk and hopefully some old tells me I'm pretty. That's literally all I give a about is like, some like. But when I say old, I mean like a sweeter, like, 60 year old who's like, wow, you're beautiful. Like, that's all I kind of need out of that.

Oh, wow.

[Kal Penn]

Beautiful, darling.

[Drew]

They have a transatlantic accent.

Like.

Yeah, so that's never gonna happen.

[Kal Penn]

Oh, wow, honey.

[Drew]

Well, that's what I imagine you want to smoke a cigarette. When, like, when I think of people who would be at, like, a basketball game, I'm like, don't basketball games cost a lot? But I guess there's, like, a different array of tickets. But I want.

No. Basketball games don't cost a lot. You can literally get, like, a $7 ticket. I mean, you're in, like, the nosebleeds.

That'S kind of lit. Like, to me, going to a basketball game is really about the people around you.

I saw the greatest. I saw the greatest. Greatest game of basketball. The greatest performance by a single player in basketball history.

What does his relations say, like, status have to do with how?

Like, what are you talking about?

You said you saw the greatest single basketball player, like, ever.

The single greatest. The single greatest. But I saw it in the nosebleeds.

And was it. And was it crispy?

It was right. It was right.

Like, I don't know. Was it fun? Like, I've never been to a, like, sporting event. Like, I don't know.

Like, was it Christmas? Oh, my God. I used to get up at high school football games.

I never went to any school games.

I used to get blackout drunk in the stands.

I think that's how I. I'm laughing at the idea of you. Like, I'm imagining you as a Teenage fans would come up and falling down the stairs.

No, the thing is, is, like, fans from the other team would walk across the football field and ask for pictures with me.

[Josh]

Whoa. That's pretty cool.

[Kai]

Wow.

[Drew]

And then literally crossing the picket line. Literally. That's what it was giving. And everyone would get mad at me for taking pictures with them. They would be like, bro, that's the op. I'm like, dude, oh, my God. No, they're not.

That's amazing. Yeah. Yeah. We. We need to take money out of arts and put more money into sports.

I never really agree. Yeah, I actually agree.

I think, like, I'm starting to worry that is how people think we, like, actually feel. It's like, guys, seriously, like, why are we making musicals?

Like, we need more teams, less musical, more straight, male boss bonding.

Yes.

Actually, like, give them even more of an upper leg than they already have. I'm thinking about getting on nicotine gum.

Why? To stop vaping?

No, because it's like a nootropic. It's like Adderall, so.

Okay.

Yeah, I'm gonna harness the power of nicotine.

You think you're gonna be the first person to use it?

Not the first. Plenty of of people already know.

Like, who. What great minds can you think of that are using nicotine gum in replacement of, like, a Vyvans?

Me. Me.

Have you tried it yet?

No. It, like, makes my mouth all, like, tingly and burn. It literally makes me burn, bro.

I know. Zins. I'm not kidding. I'll never understand it. And, like, I put anything in my mouth, but a Zen is some diabolical. That's for real. Like, I literally. I actually am one of those people who, like. I mean, look at my nails.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Like, for someone, like, with a very intense OCD germ phobia, the amount of times I've seen those fingers in your mouth chomping at the underneaths of your nail is really shocking.

I know, I know. It's just like, it doesn't even matter. Like, my hands are tools to put in my mouth.

Yeah, you just have, like, like, very strange. You have very queer quirks about, like, germs.

Yeah, my OCD is just really odd. Thankfully, my proac has, like, helped a lot of it, but I can't believe I didn't think I had any sort of OCD one because of the way I, like, overanalyze morals. Like, morals in any situation. Like, the way I get hyper fixated on situations is so like, oh, my God, girl. Like, please relax. Like, no one's in your head.

You're literally the friend that's too woke.

Like, that.

You literally, at certain points, it gets there.

Yeah, I'm the friend that's too woke and is like, guys, we should really talk about this in full detail, in depth, and make sure we've scratched at every surface of what the problem could be here, just to make sure we don't miss anything. And along the way, yes, we'll make more and more and more problems, but we can fix those too, if we just keep going. That's how I feel, but I can't believe I didn't think I had OCD when I. I used to wash my iPhone with soap and water. I don't anymore. Now I've substituted alcohol wipes. I have.

And you're just melting the coating off the wipes?

Yeah, everything gets rubbed down with an alcohol wipe. My glasses, my phone, my Bronson. Yeah, my Bronson.

My Bronson.

Well, before I sleep with you, I've got to get a good clean clean on you before I stuck it.

I swear.

I showered alcohol.

I showered three days ago. I actually just had a Pour Coke on that dick. If it fizzes up, that shit's dirty. That's a dirty dick. Poor Sprite. And if it burns, dude, my mom.

[Kai]

Does it burn?

[Drew]

I grew up with, like, really gnarly eczema right here.

And it was like, girl, me too. Right on the. Or not right there, but.

But, oh, yeah. Sometimes it would travel off my arm, but for the most part, it was, like, right here. And I still have, like, little scars. And she used to tell me that if it burned, it meant it was working when I would put ointments of any kind on and, like, a lot of them obviously weren't working. And she was just doing a test patch, but she grew me up on the idea that if it burns, it means it's working. And that's what she used to tell me about chapstick too. Cause I still bite my lips a lot lot when I'm focused and I used to get such fucked up chapped lips as a kid.

[Kai]

So my friends text let's do a quick little weekend getaway. Super chill right?

[Drew]

Famous last words.

[Kai]

Suddenly someone's buying a bonfire outfit. The Airbnb costs more than my car and apparently there's a boat now. Literally when did this turn into Coachella? That's when I pull out my Klarna card. Swipe done. And if I want it off my plate now, I can pay in full or I can pay later. And there's no group chat math to figure it out. Oh also, my budget's still breathing. No IOUs, no stress. Because the Klarna card isn't just a card, it's how you survive.

[Drew]

Friends.

[Kai]

Super chill Plans, dinners, outfits, random trips you didn't plan for covered plus no credit impact when you apply. So next time the plan spiral stay in control. Learn more About [e-mail] Debit Flex Card Pay later plans issued by Webbank. Deposits in your balance account are held at WebBank. Member FDIC anywhere visa is accepted. Certain merchant product good and service restrictions apply. Some merchants do not accept virtual cards, physical card only included with a paid Klarna membership plan the Big Take podcast.

[Bloomberg Host]

From Bloomberg News dives deep into one big global business story every weekday.

[Nintendo Advertiser]

A shutdown means that we don't get the data, but it also means for President Trump that there's no chance of bad news news on the labor market.

[Bloomberg Host]

What does a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich reveal about the economy? Our breakfast foods are consistent consumer staples, and so they sort of become outsized indicators of inflation. What's behind Elon Musk's trillion dollar payout?

[Drew]

There's a sort of concerted effort to message that Musk is coming back. He's putting politics aside. He's left the White House.

[Bloomberg Host]

And what can the PCE tell you that the CPI can't?

[Drew]

CPI tries to measure out of pocket costs that consumers are paying for things, whereas the PC index that the Fed targets is a little bit broader of a measure.

[Bloomberg Host]

Listen to the big take from Bloomberg News every weekday afternoon on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Drew]

Here we go.

[Kal Penn]

Hey, I'm Kalpen, and on my new podcast, Here We Go Again, we'll take today's trends and headlines and ads. Ask why does history keep repeating itself you may know me as the second hottest actor from the Harold and Kumar movies, but I'm also an author, a White House staffer, and, as of, like, 15 seconds ago, a podcast host. Along the way, I've made some friends who are experts in science, politics, and pop culture. And each week, one of them will be joining me to answer my burning questions, like, are we heading towards another financial crash? Like, in Os? Wait, is non monogamy back in style? And how come there's never a gate ready for your flight when it lands, like, two minutes early? We've got guests like Pete Buttigieg, Stacey Abrams, Lilly Singh, and Bill Nye.

[Drew]

When you start weaponizing outer space, things.

[Josh]

Can potentially go really wrong.

[Kal Penn]

Look, the world can seem pretty scary right now, because it is. But my goal here is for you to listen and feel a little better about the future. Listen and subscribe to Here We Go Again with Kal Penn on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Crying Wolf Narrator]

The Crying Wolf podcast is the story of two men bound by injustice, of a city haunted by its secrets and the quest for redemption, no matter the price.

[Drew]

White victim, female, pretty, wealthy, black defendant.

[Crying Wolf Narrator]

Chicago, a white woman's murder. A black man behind bars for a crime he didn't commit.

[Drew]

I had 90 years for killing somebody I have never seen. He says the police are his friends. And then that's it. They turn on him.

[Crying Wolf Narrator]

A corrupt detective.

[Drew]

How he was interrogated, the techniques. That's crazy.

[Crying Wolf Narrator]

A snitch and a life stolen.

[Drew]

They got the wrong guy.

[Crying Wolf Narrator]

But on the inside, Lee Harris foundation finds an ally in his celly, Robert, who swears to tell the truth about what happened to Lee and free his friend.

[Kal Penn]

If you're with me, your goal is.

[Josh]

I'll take care of you.

[Drew]

I'm gonna be with you. You stuck with me for life.

[Crying Wolf Narrator]

Listen to the Crying Wolf podcast starting on October 22nd on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Drew]

Y'.

[Kal Penn]

All.

[Drew]

I'm fucking exhausted, dude.

I know.

I slept all day yesterday, all day, and then actually didn't sleep all night. I stayed up to, like, 6am last night.

Really? Because you slept all day?

No, I was having panic attacks all night.

Oh, my gosh. Wait, were you here?

No, no, no. I was at the hotel.

Oh, my God. I hate having random panic attacks. It's so embarrassing. Like, why is this. Like, this is embarrassing. Why am I freaking out? Like, because I can't even explain what happened. Like, I really can't. Like, like, I can't trace back the domino that made this happen. But, like, something happened and you did it. Like, I don't know if anybody's around. It's like, you did it. Question mark. I don't know.

Also, I think it's time we do away with QR codes. I think they've served their purpose. Someone invents something else. Because every single QR code I've scanned in the last month just doesn't work. Not that it's. It doesn't. Like, it literally, my phone doesn't even pick them up. And especially if it's laser engraved into some wood. Like, I know you're trying to be chic to put the menu on, like, a little wooden block, and you scan that.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

There's really no way to cuntify.

Give me. Give me a menu. See, that's how. Like, that's unk for me. Like, that's my unk mentality.

I. I feel like that. I feel like, give me.

Give me a plastic straw and give me a menu. I want. I'm over. And I want the menu to. To be sticky with syrup from breakfast. Like, I literally. I desire that, actually.

Yeah. I. I need a physical menu. If I'm in a restaurant and there isn't a physical menu, I'm immediately struck with, like, the presence of a ghost kitchen. Like, it literally is like, you're not real. I can't believe you don't have menus.

[Josh]

Oh, my God. During the pandemic, my. My roommate.

[Drew]

Plandemic.

[Josh]

The plandemic. My. One of my roommates at the time found this app where he's like, dude, I just broke. I, like, I have a cheat code for food now. There's this app where you can. You can buy leftovers that restaurants are about to throw out. And we were all like, okay, like, let's take a look at that. Let's maybe vet the food first. And he was like, nope, I just ordered a bunch of sushi. And if he has sushi, being your.

[Drew]

First bet is local.

[Josh]

He got, like, 30 pieces of sushi for $3. We go to the place, and it's in a. Part of. That doesn't exist.

[Drew]

Doesn't exist.

[Josh]

It simply doesn't exist. It's like a procedurally generated map, and we go into the restaurant, and it's seriously.

[Drew]

Lockers and screens, huh?

[Josh]

Yeah. And then a robot drives over, slow as fuck, and it, like, opens a cubby, and it pulls out a. Like a takeout box. And we didn't see. There was no human.

[Drew]

Okay. We also really have to talk about it. Let's get real. Before, I have always been an AI and like, like, whatever the fuck y' all are doing, technologically advancing. No ho. You're slowing me the fuck down. Why am I trapped in a box at the airport? Why do I have to go into a glass box and, like, this thing is gonna scan me and look at me and like, what? Like, just because you want pictures, you want more pictures? There's pictures everywhere of me, like, all of us. There's so much documentation of all of us, us. Why do you want more? Like, I literally don't understand it and it's slowing me down because, like, QR codes are not faster than, like, it's not efficient. It doesn't work. Some of you don't have good routing in your building. The satellites can't get to it.

Now I don't have the red pain.

I have to ask you for the WI fi so that I can get to the menu so I can order. Like, it's like.

Oh, my God, the love of God.

It's literally crazy. Oh, my God. I have.

I still have crumble cookie in my car. You think it's gross to eat that? I got that on Friday or Saturday? Saturday. Saturday.

[Kai]

I got that on Saturday.

[Drew]

Saturday.

[Kai]

Should I go as preservatives?

[Drew]

They probably put. No, I. I'd eat them.

Like, I. Yeah, I've eaten like, boxed cookies like a month.

I mean, it has been like, incredibly hot and. Yes, I know. Oh, my God, am I listening to an episode from. From July or October 20th, something? No, it's been so hot here. It's literally so scary because it's been hot in your car. So they're probably gross and oily and melted. Sorry.

There is one rhyming rhythm. There is one that's like a cake tin that I'm. It's like the tres leches one. So I'm kind of. It's not that one, though. But it's kind of giving.

That is supposed to be kept cold, though.

I know. I'm saying I'm not gonna eat that one.

Well, I don't know if I would eat any of. Because now there's like a fucking, like.

No, no. It's in its own little separate tin.

It's literally.

It's also not that one. It's like a cake. It's all. It's a different cake.

It sounds like. Okay, so what I'm realizing is you've already made the fuck ass decision that you're eating those crumble cookies. And you're kind of just wasting my breath.

No, I.

You don't give a fuck if I think you should eat them or not. You're gonna fucking eat them.

I ask Inya for advice all the time. I'm like, what should I do?

Wasting my fucking breath. That's what he's about to do. Do.

And she's like, no, I'm glad.

It's funny.

You should do this. And I'm like, well, no. She's like, okay, you could try this. No, I'm going to do this.

No. And then the best part is tomorrow he's going be like, I feel so.

[Josh]

Like, my chest burns.

[Drew]

Yeah. He's like, oh, my God, my head. Can you feel my head? Like, wow. I, like, feel.

Feel weird.

Like you're literally just going to complain about it all day tomorrow.

I did get jollibee last night, and I ate two jollibee last night. And then it sat out two jollibee. It sat out overnight. Lids of the gravy, open tub of chicken left open. And this morning, I proceeded to eat two things of fried chicken.

You know what? I would do it. Yeah.

And it was so good. It was still.

[Kai]

It was crispy.

[Drew]

Yeah.

I kind of grew up in a crazy household of, like, brisket and menudo. Just got stuck.

What is it? The primordial soup.

You bring this take. I'll bring this stuff from Meru.

Like, I had a dream last night.

What?

I'm not even kidding. I was in. I was. Primordial soup. I'm not kidding. My dream. My dream, unironically, was colors. My dream was colors. That's it. Like, it felt like flashing wipes, lights and colors.

It was God telling you to come out.

No.

[Kai]

Of what.

[Drew]

Of what room?

The closet.

No, I'm not even in there. Never have been in there. You would know a lot about that, though, wouldn't you?

You know a lot about the closet. Okay. That's it. It was just colors. Like, what color? It's like, I don't know what I'm. Like, stuff.

[Kai]

Shit like that.

[Drew]

Like, what am I supposed to say?

I swear to God.

People's dreams also.

[Josh]

It was just like a. The default iPhone wallpaper.

[Drew]

I swear to God. There was. There was. I wasn't. Wasn't even conscious. I wasn't even perceiving the colors.

Sleep. You had your eyes closed, and somebody, Josiah or me, was probably pointing a flashlight over your lid, so your eyes were doing the same way.

It's all red.

[Josh]

I think that means you're a genius.

[Drew]

That I'm dreaming colors.

[Josh]

Seriously. I'm like, that means that you have some color.

[Drew]

Well, I've always dreamed in color. I don't dream.

[Kai]

I wasn't.

[Drew]

Hey, the world.

They took the color away. They took the color away. It's black and white. And then Kai, make this episode black and white from that moment.

[Josh]

Us doing this bit again.

[Drew]

Yeah. Shout out, Ian.

No, I'm not kidding. Like, every time I go on my phone, it's the funniest three videos. And then it feels like exactly what this looks like, where it's like they're going to take the color away from the city. They're going to take a color. Like, it's only a matter of time. They kind of did with the Orlando one walk that they.

Oh, yeah.

Did that get restored? Like, does anybody know?

No one knows. Let me check the levels.

Oh, guys, should I pay my ass. Useless psychiatrist who literally doesn't give a if I live or die. Every. Like, are you supposed to talk to your psychiatrist? Like, for real? For real.

[Josh]

You're supposed to. But I don't think they're supposed to care whether or not you die, because I've never had a psychiatrist that gave a fuck.

[Drew]

I'm like, oh, you're giving me like.

Y' all are crazy.

You're not giving me over the counter shit. You're giving me, like, stuff that I. Oh, I'm crazy if I lose my whole bottle and I need another one tomorrow. Like, that's the kind of drugs we're playing with. You don't give a fuck what I'm up to. Actually, like, every time I speak to him, it literally is just like, yeah.

[Josh]

It'S literally just, here's a math. I hope you use it responsibly.

[Drew]

That's all it is. And then I'm just like, trying to actually talk about it and I'm like, yeah. Do you know if there's a difference? Like, if there's any psychological effect if I don't take it every day? Because sometimes I worry that. Because I only take it.

[Josh]

Whatever.

[Drew]

Whole tangent, he goes.

I don't know.

Yeah, whatever you've been doing is good, dude.

[Josh]

The last time I talked to my psychiatrist, when I wanted to change my meds, he was like, okay, like, what do you want? What do you want out of this? And I was like, well, I. Because I was. I've been on a lot of meds, so I'll be like this. I was on this and I want. I didn't work, basically. And then he was like, he was like, okay, well, you should try this med. And I was like, I was on that in college, and it didn't work, so. And then he was like, okay, honestly, like, what do you want to take? And I kid you not, I said.

[Drew]

He's like, honestly, stop fucking playing games.

[Josh]

I said, well, my roommate takes Wellbutrin, so maybe that. And he's like, okay, you should have said Percocet. Yeah, Percocet. I feel like Percocet would help with my anxiety.

[Drew]

I mean, it literally would.

[Josh]

It would.

[Drew]

For, like, a couple months, and then it would turn on you and become you.

Yeah, I guess it would work Also, like, how long does Percocet last? In my head, like, cool, that'll work for, like. Like, two hours.

No, much longer.

That's sad. Y' all are seriously popping perks and forgetting your whole night. That, like, I always. I assumed. I think in my head, most drugs, like, wear off, like, quickly. Like. But maybe not. I don't know.

Like, hallucinogens last forever. They open your mind.

Yeah, so true. I actually do think I need to do shroom soon because I got some demons I gotta get out. I got demons.

The demon in question.

I'm not doing it with you.

No, I'm saying it's Kai.

Oh, well.

In his living room.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah.

[Drew]

Whoa.

[Josh]

I will not be in her. That's not true. She made the joke. She just made that joke.

[Drew]

Okay, what do you want to talk about?

[Josh]

The political and economic state of the world, bro.

[Drew]

Like, actually, that is what it's like going out right now. It's like we're at that point of adulthood where, like, nobody can even fake. Like, there's, like, fun stuff to talk about.

[Josh]

It is also just, like, unprecedented levels of corruption. It is so crazy. Okay, so basically, whenever Trump says the tariffs are coming back, there's this. There's this trader that uses this, like, crypto exchange trust.

[Drew]

I know there's.

[Josh]

So there's, like, a crypto exchange that it's unregulated to trade on. And whenever he says, oh, we're gonna put, like, 500% tariffs on China one minute before that, it'll be, like, one to five minutes. This one address will short the market with, like, $80 million and make. And they'll make $200 million in five minutes, and they'll close it. And it's clearly somebody in the Trump administration, and it's fucking insane. There's nothing we can do about it.

[Drew]

30 minutes before the. 30 minutes before the entire crypto market coll. Couple weeks ago, because Trump said China tariffs. Someone bought a million dollars shorting the crypto market and made like $80 million. Like, literally.

[Josh]

Trader has done that multiple times.

[Drew]

Multiple times.

[Josh]

So obvious. And there's literally nothing we can do about it because we live in a hellscape. Hellscape, late stage capitalist fascist regime.

[Drew]

Yeah, it's getting a bit fast. Also, I'm just a bit confused because. Oh, go check.

Should I do a little unboxing?

Oh, my God.

Should I do a little unboxing? Guys, I'm getting back into reading, and I bought a bunch of books on consciousness and archetypes, and maybe that's why I'm dreaming in color, because I started one of them. Is this, like, ASMR for the people. How does it sound? Good.

[Josh]

That sounds really good.

[Drew]

Okay, you might want to go get scissors. Bo.

I can't. I can't. Mind you.

The scissors are, like, around the corner.

I'm about to stir.

Okay, let it out, let it out. Well, you can't have the barcode showing.

They can't see it. Okay, here's one of them. The Origin of Consciousness and the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind.

Oo.

[Josh]

Oh, wow. Oh, is that a really old book? It looks. It looks super ancient.

[Drew]

Didn't need a scissor.

[Josh]

The Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind. Isn't that what you are? Enya. Bi. What is it? Bi.

[Drew]

Bicamera.

What?

[Josh]

Aren't you bicameral or. No, bisexual. It's bisexual, right?

[Drew]

Ooh, this is a really good one, actually. The Archetypes and the Collective Unconsciousness of CG Young. Apparently, reading his books will change your life.

[Josh]

It will. You're gonna open up.

[Drew]

Have you read one before?

No, I've never read one. I think this is like, the one.

Is there underlines in that?

I think so. I bought used books.

That's a vibe.

I think maybe that one that Kai has underlined has underlines in it. Let's read it. Let's read a passage.

Read something that he underlines.

I don't think this one has underlined. Oh, no, this one doesn't. The idea of a second birth is found at all times in all places. In the earliest beginnings of medicine, it was a magical means of healing. In many religions, it is a central mystical experience is the key idea in medieval occult philosophy. And last but not least, in its infantile fantasy, occurring in numberless children, large and small, who believe that their parents are not. Not their real parents, but merely foster parents to whom they were handed over.

I don't I don't know if your brain needs anything.

Oh, wow. The primordial image. Me dreaming.

Which one did you start?

I forget the title. Like the numbers and is bad a.

Girl.

Like Mary Louise or something like that.

Oh, I need to finish. I need to pick back up reading. I haven't read in, like, two months in.

[Kai]

What?

[Drew]

I said I'm unread.

Two months in, you're sober from reading. I got this other one called, like, the holographic Mind or something like that that. The COVID looks really cool. So I think I'm gonna quit my other book and start that one first.

I've just been watching Abbott Elementary. I've watched four seasons in the span of, like, four days, and it's such a good show, and I'm so obsessed with it. And I, like, I actually stopped once I got to season four because I was like, damn, I am going too fast. Going so fast through this. And the new season just came out, so, like, oh, actually, maybe I do catch up so I can watch it as it's coming out, but I. Then I don't have anything to watch. Then I have to start something new, and I hate starting something new.

Just watch.

What if I don't like it?

Just watch me and watch how I do me.

I would love to watch you do you. What's your media?

My media is. The movie is terrible. I know that. But the soundtrack to the Tron movie, I haven't seen the movie. I've just listened to the soundtrack because it was advertised that Nine Inch Nails did the soundtrack, which is Trent Reznor. So I was like, oh, I'm going to listen to that. It's really awesome. Except the one song, if you want it. Like, I can't. I literally can't do it.

That's crazy. I love that song.

Kai. How do you say her name?

[Josh]

AFI Uffy.

[Drew]

Yeah, I've been listening to her. Yeah. A lot of Effie. A lot, a lot, a lot of Effie.

[Josh]

She's like a Korean artist. She's really cool. A friend of mine showed me her because he worked with her, but she's really cool. There's like this whole Korean underground that makes really good music. You should look at the deep too.

[Drew]

You've heard this song in.

[Josh]

You.

[Drew]

Just wait. It's Pharrell and AFI ADD suv Oh.

[Josh]

You'Re talking about the old afy.

[Drew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Josh]

Oh, I thought you were talking about Effie.

[Kai]

I know.

[Drew]

When you were talking about Korean, I was like, I don't think she's Korean.

[Josh]

Oh, I thought you were talking about Effie.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah.

But yeah, old Uffy's sick.

[Josh]

My mistake. Guys, there's another Korean artist named Effie, and Uffy is different but also good.

[Drew]

Well, I'll be sure to check everyone out if everyone sends me links.

I have been listening to Death Grips again.

[Josh]

Oh, so good. Yeah, some of the best music ever.

[Drew]

Ex military.

I'm listening to a whole lot of kind of nothing new. I'm still just, like, rotating the same songs, so I really don't have anything to share. All right, well, thanks, guys. Drew has to read both of these books before the end of the night or I'm gonna make him eat them.

Them?

No, no.

By.

[Kai]

So my friend's text. Let's do a quick little weekend getaway. Super chill, right?

[Drew]

Famous last words.

[Kai]

Suddenly someone's buying a bonfire outfit and apparently there's a boat. Now that's when I pull out my Klarna card. Swipe done. And if I want it off my plate now, I can pay in full or I can pay later. No IOUs, no stress. Because the Klarna card isn't just a card. It's how you survive. Friends plans plus no credit impact when you apply. Learn more about klarna [e-mail] debit flex card pay later plans issued by web bank Deposits in your balance account are held at WebBank, member FDIC anywhere visa is accepted. Certain merchant product good and service restrictions apply. Some merchants do not accept virtual cards. Physical card only included with a paid Klarna membership plan.

[Nintendo Advertiser]

Get ready to power up your play with Nintendo Switch 2. Power up the visuals with 4K support and a bigger, more vivid screen. Power of the fun with exclusive new games like Mario Kart World and Donkey Kong. Bonanza.

[Drew]

Oh bonanza.

[Nintendo Advertiser]

Nintendo Switch 2 all together, anytime, anywhere. Games rated E to E10 games and systems sold separately. Compatible TV required for 4K display.

[Bloomberg Host]

The big Take podcast from Bloomberg News keeps you on top of the biggest stories of the day.

[Drew]

My fellow Americans, this is liberation Day.

[Bloomberg Host]

Stories that move markets.

[Drew]

Chair Powell opened the door to this.

[Bloomberg Host]

First interest rate cut impact politics, change businesses.

[Drew]

This is a really stunning development for.

[Bloomberg Host]

The AI world and how you think about your bottom line. Listen to the Big Take from Bloomberg News every Weekday afternoon on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Johnny Knoxville here. Check out Crimeless Hillbilly Heist, my new true crime podcast. From smartless media camp and big money players, it's the true story of the almost perfect crime and the nimrods who almost pulled it off.

[Kal Penn]

It was kind of like the perfect storm in a sewer.

[Drew]

That was dumb. Do not follow my example.

[Johnny Knoxville]

Listen to Crimeless Hillbilly Heist on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kai]

This is an iHeart podcast.