Let your queeriosity shine!!!

Summary

Emergency Intercom — "Let Your Queeriosity Shine!!!"

Podcast: Emergency Intercom
Hosts: Enya Umanzor & Drew Phillips
Date: March 27, 2026
Network: iHeartPodcasts

Episode Overview

In this characteristically chaotic and comedic episode, Enya, Drew, and friends (Kai & Josiah) spiral through topics ranging from the saturation of AI-generated content and celebrity rumors, queer curiosity, awkward social encounters, and gym faux pas, to nostalgia around internet culture, true crime obsessions, personal quirks, and sharing recent music obsessions. True to Emergency Intercom's style, the crew leans into self-effacement, improvisational bits, and meta-commentary on their public personas, all while encouraging listeners to unapologetically embrace their own "queeriosity."

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Falling for AI & Celebrity Rumor Mill

• AI Hoaxes and Social Media Gullibility

  • Drew recounts (03:49–08:58) being tricked by a viral AI video of a light pole falling into water and another AI-generated photo depicting Justin Bieber and Usher fighting at a party with Beyoncé in the background.
    • “Like, I can’t believe I fell for AI. And I’m still not fully convinced that it’s not. We just live in an age where you can blame everything on AI.” — Drew (08:14)
  • Group discusses how easy it is to be fooled and how AI "deepfakes" distort reality.

• Celebrity Meeting Fantasies

  • Drew launches into a fantasy about meeting Beyoncé at Chateau Marmont, which turns out to be Julia Fox's real-life story; gets called out for plagiarizing her memoir (10:34–12:15).

2. Parasocial Fame & Public Encounters

• Dealing with Internet Attention

  • Kai shares the weirdness of being discussed and photographed by the celebrity gossip account DeuxMoi (13:05–14:37).
    • “They’re talking about me and taking photos of me — they won’t leave me alone.” — Kai (13:18)
  • The crew jokes about the loss of privacy attending parties, the difference between real and perceived status, and socially awkward encounters.

• The Spongebob Water Bottle Saga

  • The group roasts Drew for habitually refilling and (never) washing his sticky neon Spongebob water bottle, even after adding Aesop hand soap to it (15:35–16:44).
    • “I didn’t wash it, but… fuck y’all.” — Drew (16:22)
  • A story follows about an awkward gym run-in with fitness influencer Connor Story, compounded by Drew’s conspicuous Spongebob bottle and anxiety about appearing creepy (18:56–21:07).
    • “I overthought that interaction so badly I had to lay out by the pool to calm down because I literally gave stalker monster vibes.” — Drew (20:50)

3. The Podcasters’ Personas: Performance vs. Reality

• Meta Commentary on Characterization
  • Kai remarks on audience discourse: are they playing characters? ("Drew isn't as gay as he says he is, Enya's not actually a b*tch, I'm not actually a pervert...") (35:33–36:32)
    • “Actually, I am not as gay as I say I am.” — Drew (36:09)
    • “I am one of the nicest people ever.” — Josiah (37:08)
  • The group discusses public and private personas, internet perception, and keeping the line blurry for comedic effect.

4. Awkward Social & Nightlife Mishaps

• London Club Story

  • Josiah shares a run-in at a private London club where a man aggressively defends his table and phone, leading Josiah to (drunkenly) troll him, making the man believe Josiah intended to steal the phone (38:55–43:29).
    • “I was gonna steal that phone — you’re smart, smart.” — Josiah (41:16)

• Movie Premiere Seat Savers

  • Drew and Josiah bond over their irritation at seat-savers whose friends never show up (44:34).

5. Internet Culture, Conspiracies, and True Crime

• Marina Joyce & Internet Sleuthing

  • The group reflects fondly (and critically) on the strange saga of Marina Joyce, mass internet sleuthing, and how the web needs someone to “save” monthly (61:57–63:39).
    • “The Internet needs someone they think they’re saving at least once a month. This is psychosis.” — Josiah (62:40)
  • Discussion turns to the dangers and occasional successes of reddit detective culture (63:32–64:58), mentioning Boston Bombing, Gabby Petito, etc.

• True Crime as State Propaganda

  • Josiah (66:00–66:30) references a video essay about how the true crime genre is often entangled with U.S. government and police propaganda since the early 20th century.

6. Everyday Disasters & Quirks

• Household Critter Fears and Dreams

  • Josiah recalls a dream about a balloon getting sucked into the vents, causing fire concerns (32:56–33:28), dovetailing into a saga of real-life critters in Enya’s air ducts.

• Struggles with Cleanliness

  • Drew describes the sensory moment that forced him to finally wash his bedsheets, dramatizing his aversion to vague “smells” (68:51–69:30).

7. Media & Music Recommendations

• Recent Obsessions
  • Kai: Ear (TikTok viral artist), especially a specific unnamed song he played 30 times in a day (77:51–78:26).
  • Josiah: No Dreams by Todd Dunlap, tracks by Emerson, Detroit in Effect, Rue Escondida/Black Mighty Orchestra, and Brent Faiyaz’s new album.
  • Drew: “Question Mark Bass Victim album on repeat,” repeated shoutouts to Snow Strippers.
  • All express fondness and nostalgia for Brent Faiyaz and Sufjan Stevens.

8. Miscellaneous Memorable Bits

• Iconic Quotes & Moments
  • “Let me be clear—let me be queer!” — Drew (04:41)
  • On internet meme fatigue: “Like, no one is funny anymore. Get a job challenge… maybe my brain is developed.” — Drew (59:08)
  • Discussing hot friends at parties: “He is literally fine. One of the most attractive men I’ve seen in person.” — Josiah about Terence (71:57)
  • Sufjan Stevens comparison: “A lot of people say that I look like Sufjan Stevens. So…” — Kai (74:24)

---

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• "Let me be clear. Let me be queer!" — Drew (04:41)
• "I fell for AI. And I’m still not fully convinced that it’s not..." — Drew (08:14)
• "Actually, I am not as gay as I say I am." — Drew (36:09)
• "The Internet needs someone they think they’re saving at least once a month. This is psychosis." — Josiah (62:40)
• "No one is funny anymore. Get a job challenge." — Drew (59:08)
• "He is literally fine. One of the most attractive men I’ve seen in person." — Josiah (71:57)
• "Everything is porn. Everything means nothing to me." — Group (67:38–67:44)

---

Suggested Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:49–08:58 – AI hoaxes & the viral celebrity rumor ecosphere
• 13:05–14:37 – The weirdness of minor internet fame & DeuxMoi encounters
• 18:56–21:07 – Drew’s gym embarrassment & the saga of the infamous Spongebob water bottle
• 35:33–37:36 – Are Enya, Drew & co. playing heightened "characters"?
• 38:55–43:29 – Josiah’s drunken London club bit
• 61:57–64:58 – The saga of Marina Joyce & internet sleuth culture
• 66:00–66:30 – True crime as government propaganda
• 74:22–79:09 – Media/music recommendations

---

Tone & Dynamic

Irreverent, fast-paced, and deeply meta, with recurring inside jokes, chaotic play-acting, confessional humor, and unapologetic venting. The episode delivers layers of satire on social media, internet drama, and the ambiguity between authenticity and performance, all while centering queer and outsider experiences.

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Summary for New Listeners

If you haven’t listened, this episode is a wild, wandering, and witty reflection on how the internet blurs reality, why public personas are always at least a little performative, and how “letting your queeriosity shine” means owning every weird, anxious, or obsessive thing about yourself. Through stories that veer from absurd to poignant (and plenty of group roasting), you’ll get a front-row seat to the way Enya, Drew, and friends process modern anxieties through humor, self-awareness, and communal bonding.

This is Emergency Intercom in peak form—unfiltered, brain-rotting, and brilliantly queer.

Transcript

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plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full [e-mail] support for the show

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[Enya]

Wasn't that delicious?

[Josiah]

So good.

[Drew]

Your bill ladies. I got it.

[Josiah]

No, I got It.

[Enya]

Seriously, I insist.

[Josiah]

I insisted first.

[Enya]

Oh, don't be silly.

[Josiah]

You don't be silly.

[Drew]

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[Josiah]

Okay.

[Enya]

Rock, paper, scissors for it.

[Josiah]

Rock, paper, scissors. Shoot.

[Drew]

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[Drew]

Want to drive CarMax? I wanted to start the episode off by showing you this video.

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I want you to listen to Victor after the game last night.

[Josiah]

You know, that's actually what that security guard did to that daughter. Are you just watching?

[Kai]

True.

[Drew]

Sorry. I got hypnotized by Victor Wembanyama Highlights.

[Josiah]

That's what the security guard did when that girl has to talk to Chapel Ron.

[Drew]

I will say, like, the videos that people are making have been cracking me up. Like, I saw this one where, like, there was like, a pond of water and then like a light pole fell into it. It was an AI video and people thought it was real. But, I mean, I really can't. I can't even lie, guys. I fell for the I. Oh, okay, finish.

[Josiah]

What is this video? What is this video?

[Drew]

The video is like this light pole falling into a pond and, like, electrocuting all the fish. And it was like Chapel Roan after hearing a little K swimming in that pond

[Josiah]

that she had to get up on the Internet and say, I don't hate kids. Like, let's get one thing clear. Also.

[Drew]

Let me be clear.

[Josiah]

Whoa.

[Drew]

Let me be queer People just want to be Let me be queer the

[Josiah]

curiosity, my curiosity, my curiosity got the

[Drew]

best of me queerI got the best of me, y' all. Me and Enya said that in unison, unprompted in the car. Yeah.

[Josiah]

Okay, so you've been following for AI, and this is exactly what happened. See, a queen like me never touched AI. Never interacted with it. At least got God willing. God willing. No, but just like most things that happen without my consent, I didn't ask for that. Like, I didn't ask to be shown AI. So any interaction with it is literally against My consent, but I do not interact with it. I don't even see AI content on my feeds anywhere. Like, I take notes.

[Drew]

The first one I've seen on my feed in so long and it got my ass so bad. And like, I don't. I don't know if it was. I was just in like a fugue state or like feud state. What's. What's the word? Feud state? What are you talking about?

[Josiah]

Kai is texting on his phone and giggles.

[Kai]

I'm just laughing because they found out who was controlling the crane. The crane for when Drew went bungee jumping. They found out who's controlling it.

[Drew]

Wait, actually, yeah.

[Josiah]

God. You know what's funny is walking in here. I was laughing thinking about that. Like, That was a comment on one of the. The video of you bungee jumping.

[Drew]

That's actually so funny.

[Josiah]

So where the is that picture from?

[Drew]

What the was I saying? Oh, so I got fooled by AI and I guys. It's really bad. So, like, you know how I got fooled by, like the AI Lady Gaga photos? Like Devil Wears Prada dude.

[Josiah]

No, the. The picture that he got fooled by. Also, I'm fearful you actually have seen AI on your timeline recently and you may just not have noticed. I mean, that's the photo that made him notice the most. 2014 child who is just an Android charger and rewired their dead vape that they found in their brother's room that had.

[Drew]

That's why I'm falling for AI.

[Josiah]

But it was Spike.

[Drew]

That's why I'm falling for.

[Josiah]

That's. That's what he fell for. Like, is an edit. Like a chopped up, weird edit.

[Drew]

No, no, no, no. See what happened?

[Josiah]

So the picture is odd.

[Drew]

What happened was, is I saw a like a blind item post on Tick Tock being like, apparently Justin Bieber and Usher get. Got into it at an after parties at the Ear and after. At the after Oscars, after after party or whatever. And there was no proof. There was nothing, nothing, nothing. And I just like took that at face value and I was like, sure, maybe, whatever. I didn't. I didn't put a second thought into it. And then the next day I see it's. It's all over social media, it's all over my feeds and I'm like, damn, what happened at this party? And then I see this AI generated photo of Justin Bieber and Usher, like fighting at this party and then Beyonce in the background holding a wine Gl.

[Josiah]

Everyone in the photo is like partaking in like. And it's Also, the only. It's the most famous people ever who have never been on record of having, like, close friendships all together.

[Drew]

Like, it was horrible.

[Josiah]

Yeah, it was pretty awful. When he showed it to me, I just. I told him to take it away from my eyes. Like, I don't know. I just can't wait.

[Kai]

I saw this too, and I. I didn't. I didn't register as AI. I didn't.

[Drew]

Well, the team got me too. The tmz. Look, look, look.

[Kai]

It's the small details.

[Drew]

It's the small details. And then.

[Josiah]

Oh, no, that's also what's crazy is actually, let me redact my statement. There's no other famous people other than Beyonce. Like, in the phone, it's her.

[Drew]

It's her bodyguard.

[Josiah]

And the only other person who's watching and present for this is Beyonce. And it looks like they're on a carpet, but she has a wine glass.

[Drew]

I know. Like, literally, I was like, wow, this is like one of the greatest photos of all time. Like, this is like elevator incident with jay Z, like 2.0. I was like, wow, I can't believe there's footage or photos of this. But no, I fell for AI And I'm still not fully convinced that it's not. It could be real. And, like, we just live in an age where you can blame everything on AI.

[Josiah]

So, like, Drew, Drew, Drew.

[Drew]

We're just gonna have to agree to disagree.

[Josiah]

Fictional world that there's a blind item that Usher, a 54 year old man, is beefing with his child prodigy Justin Bieber. Well, the whole Epstein 2026 at the Vanity Fair party and Beyonce is there. Why is Beyonce.

[Kai]

What is the Vanity Pair party?

[Drew]

I know, I'm confused by vanity pair in that sentence. Oh, let's let Kai do his big one.

[Kai]

No, I was supposed to say. I was supposed to interrupt Drew and say, oh, I guess we're just gonna let him do his big one today.

[Drew]

He's just gonna be so brutally mean to me. We'll get there. We'll get there. Okay.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Drew]

I'm confused. But it was crazy though. I was at Chateau Marmont after the Vanity Fair party.

[Kai]

I'm still just before we get to that. What is a Vanity Fair party? Shut up.

[Drew]

Fuck up, Kai. Enya will actually hate you. I'm not even kidding. And I'm not gonna stop her. She's gonna pick you up like the man in that video and launch you into the set.

[Josiah]

Dude, I l I'm strong.

[Drew]

Like, no one talks about how strong she worked out.

[Josiah]

I worked out once this week. So I'm feeling really strong.

[Drew]

You sound like me.

[Josiah]

I'm feeling so strong.

[Drew]

But no. So I was at Chateau after the Vanity Fair party, and we were just, like, kind of chilling in that, like, area behind, like, the. It's kind of like fairy tale. Like, you know when it's like, all the cottages back there and we're just, like, chilling, smoking cigarettes. And then I see like a. Like a circus, like, coming my way. And I'm like, what the is happening? There's like 12 dudes around this, like, one person. Like, they must be super important. Like, I don't know what the is happening. Tell me why. One of the guys come up to me and they're like, hey, make way, make way. And it, like, breaks the circle. And I look in and it's Beyonce. And Beyonce walks past and come, and, like, I just, like, I didn't know what to do. I've just been in an era of waving to celebrities. And she walks up to me and she's like, I've seen you. I know you. I seen you. I know you. And I was like. I was shaking in my fucking boots. I was freaking the fudge out. I was like, beyonce, you know me. Like, I love you. And she was like, no, I love you. Like, can I get a hug? And then I cried into the nape of her neck,

[Kai]

dude, this.

[Drew]

And then there's picture. There's picture proof. There's picture proof.

[Kai]

Picture proof.

[Drew]

Picture fucking proof.

[Josiah]

And Usher and Justin Bieber in the background holding wine glasses.

[Drew]

And they look gas beefing. No, that was Julia Fox's story about meeting Beyonce. And honestly, like, it literally made me, like, tear up for her. Like, it was very special.

[Josiah]

Oh, that's actually awesome.

[Drew]

Yeah. No, I was like, you know what? Like, I would.

[Josiah]

You just plagiarized Julia Fox's interaction with Beyonce. Wayne.

[Drew]

I've done that three times.

[Josiah]

Maybe, if I think that's written in her book. So you're going to jail?

[Drew]

No, she told it, like, after the Oscar.

[Josiah]

I was gonna say, because you're gonna go to jail.

[Drew]

She's gonna sue you.

[Kai]

Did you guys read down the Drain?

[Drew]

No, I haven't.

[Josiah]

I haven't. I haven't. I haven't read it.

[Kai]

I read it. So I'm doing the work.

[Josiah]

You wanna fucking do it?

[Drew]

Okay, tell me one thing about it.

[Kai]

She does coke off the ground. It gets in the crevices of a carpet, and she does it off the carpet. And it was Italian boys, right? She has sex at some points in the story.

[Josiah]

You haven't read this book.

[Kai]

She's Italian and she has sex and she does drugs.

[Josiah]

So you're diluting her to, like, all of the moments that she's maybe, like, writing about for the perspective of change. I remember that.

[Drew]

Me too. Three times.

[Kai]

Was it four, I think both of us. We did four.

[Drew]

Yeah, four times.

[Kai]

It was back to back. Also, I'm officially too famous, I guess.

[Drew]

Let's let him do his big one.

[Josiah]

Yeah, let him go.

[Kai]

I just like.

[Drew]

Kai, you're supposed to say, you are the big one.

[Kai]

Do you know I'm not gonna say that. Do you guys know what Duke's Moi is?

[Drew]

Du. Moi. Yes.

[Kai]

Well, they won't leave me.

[Drew]

Duke's moi.

[Kai]

Duke's moi. I don't know.

[Drew]

Are they. Are they talking about a certain someone?

[Kai]

They. They're talking about me and they're taking photos of me, and they won't leave me alone.

[Drew]

Oh, let's see it.

[Kai]

Do you guys see this shit? Do you see this guy?

[Drew]

You look like they need. They need to leave you the fuck alone, Kai, that they're doing this to you.

[Kai]

Like, I don't know who these other do.

[Drew]

It gets to a fucking point. But, like, Kai, like, at the end of the day, Kai, you're my friend.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And, like, I hate that this is happening to you.

[Kai]

Well, it sucks because I don't have any privacy. Like, when I go to fucking these

[Josiah]

extravagant parties, at least nobody's like, nobody yet is following you around with violent intent. But that's still.

[Drew]

No, that's not true. That's not true. That's an open about you getting pushed

[Sponsor/Announcer]

out of the way.

[Josiah]

No, I'm.

[Drew]

I'm saying they pushed you out of the way.

[Josiah]

And if they wanted to, they could and would. Should.

[Drew]

Kai was walking down the street and a bunch, like, a bunch of people were taking pictures of him. And then they pushed him out of the way and just kept taking pictures of another person because they thought it was him.

[Kai]

Yeah, it's true. It's true, dude. Oh, my God. But yeah, this thing called Duke's moi is really weird.

[Drew]

Duke's moi. Devin Lee, Carlson's boyfriend be like,

[Josiah]

period.

[Kai]

Those insane.

[Drew]

The number one ranked seed in the NCAA be like, duke, Moi.

[Kai]

Duke.

[Josiah]

Duke.

[Drew]

Yeah, yeah, they're not gonna win it all. I'm sorry, guys.

[Josiah]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[Drew]

March Madness. I. I really think.

[Josiah]

Oh, football.

[Drew]

They're gonna fumble in basketball.

[Josiah]

Oh, same fucking whatever.

[Kai]

March Madness. We actually have to address something which is. Which is serious. This is Serious.

[Drew]

Actually, me,

[Kai]

I'm just imagining it. Kygo, do we have to talk about your spongebob water bottle?

[Josiah]

What?

[Kai]

What's wrong with this disgusting ass water bottle that Drew has? It's.

[Josiah]

Drew bought a. I know where it's from. It's from the airport.

[Drew]

I got it from the airport. I don't actually. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't know why it's so fucking crazy that I carry a path water bottle around and drink my water out

[Josiah]

of a water bottle. Well, I will agree with you. What's gross is he goes to the

[Kai]

bathroom, fills it up with sink water,

[Josiah]

gas stations, we'll be in a restauran, filtered water served to the table and he will get. Y' all seen it, go to the bathroom.

[Drew]

Have y' all seen it since y' all bullied me into submission? Sorry, I was trying to save the earth.

[Josiah]

But you never washed it?

[Drew]

No.

[Josiah]

Not once?

[Drew]

No.

[Josiah]

That's gross, dude. That is. Yeah, I'm on Kai's side for once.

[Drew]

Yeah, I didn't. I didn't wash it, but. Fuck y'. All.

[Kai]

Gross.

[Drew]

Fuck y'.

[Josiah]

All.

[Drew]

I put Aesop hand soap in it one time and I shook it up and it's the one with the exfoliating pearls. And it was like drinking sand the first time I took a sip. But other than that, no, it has not been watched. But I haven't used it since.

[Josiah]

Where is it?

[Drew]

It's in my car door.

[Josiah]

You haven't used it?

[Drew]

No, I haven't.

[Josiah]

You haven't taken a single sip out of that?

[Drew]

Even in desperation? I have. I have a new Path water bottle. I have a tall black one.

[Josiah]

Where'd you get that? The gas station smoke shop. Oh, okay.

[Kai]

Sorry. Sorry. I don't know why I'm sorry.

[Drew]

Is it the crane operator?

[Kai]

No, it's this video.

[Drew]

You're keep veering off to the left

[Kai]

and then you're not stopping at the stop signs.

[Drew]

Sorry about that.

[Kai]

Is this your vehicle? Whose vehicle is it?

[Drew]

It's just a rental.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

It's a rental.

[Drew]

Okay. What, are you visiting? Yeah, I'm on tour. What are you doing on a world tour?

[Kai]

A what?

[Drew]

A world tour.

[Kai]

Doing what?

[Drew]

Hard to explain. World tour. I'm Justin Timberlake. What's.

[Kai]

What's her name? Justin Timber.

[Drew]

Timberlake. You are Justin Timberlake?

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Drew]

You have a license with you?

[Josiah]

Okay, so the cop did know who Justin Timberlake was.

[Kai]

I don't think he did.

[Josiah]

He goes, you are Justin Timberlake.

[Drew]

I think that's like that to me.

[Josiah]

When they. Because when they first revealed part of the video, it seemed like that cop had no idea. But that's what confused me, because I was like, even if you don't have a face to Justin Timberlake, if you are in active duty and like an adult working a job, I feel like you would at least know the name because, like, baby Trolls movie, lest we forget. Also, guys, the voice of the trolls

[Drew]

movie, I just blatantly lied. And I just realized I lied based off of a note I have in my.

[Josiah]

Like, wait, what lie did you tell?

[Drew]

The spongebob bottle. I have used it since. Oh, I know.

[Josiah]

Well, I knew that. And I don't know if anybody saw the skepticism.

[Drew]

Connor's story. Yeah.

[Kai]

Oh, yeah, we have to talk about that.

[Drew]

I'm sorry for cutting that off, because I do want to get back to that.

[Kai]

We can go back to it whenever you want.

[Drew]

But. So I'm working out at the gym. I'm doing a leg day, and ironically, I am doing workouts that Connor Story recommended for obvious reasons. And there has been growth. Be honest.

[Josiah]

There has been.

[Drew]

There has been. There is some movement in the tank. In the tank. I don't know.

[Josiah]

Person who's never had an ass, he's still learning.

[Drew]

It's called tank, right? It's called. I mean, me as, but I'm, like, working out. And then I go upstairs to the third floor, and who do I see on the machine that I need to use? Connor Story.

[Josiah]

And so he goes up to him. He grabs him by the tank top. He goes to rip Connor off the machine.

[Drew]

I'm like, get the off the machine. I go up to him and like, how much. How much longer do you have, bro? Like, Jesus Christ. Like, it's taking you so long. Like, damn. So I just sit next.

[Josiah]

Really rude and not in his usual nature, by the way. Like, so odd.

[Drew]

I crashed out. I was protective. I, like, when I get into work,

[Josiah]

asked to be bigger.

[Drew]

So bad. I know it's. It's a real issue.

[Josiah]

We all have a hunger.

[Drew]

We all have a hunger, baby. But no, I'm, like, sitting. I. I, like, I hate this interaction so much because I literally look like a creepy stalker. But, like, I didn't know what to do. And we made eye contact, and then, like, I just, like, kind of panicked, and I was just like, I guess I'll just do the leg machine.

[Josiah]

Him.

[Drew]

Like, it's not the same. Activating the same muscles. But, like, whatever. I'll just use that one. So I'm, like, working out next to him for A second. And we just kind of keep making like loose eye contact and then we just like, acknowledge each other's existence and he walks away. But my dirty spongebob bottle was with me the entire fucking time. And then I proceeded to overthink that interaction so badly that I had to lay out by the pool and fucking, like, calm down. Because I literally gave like, creepy stalker monster vibes.

[Josiah]

Like, with your spongebob water bottle.

[Drew]

I know that. And like, he saw it. I know he saw it.

[Josiah]

Well, cuz, it's like neon yellow.

[Drew]

I know he saw that bottle, bro.

[Josiah]

It's neon yellow. And every surface it touches makes the craziest dink sound I've ever heard.

[Drew]

I know, but what is the likelihood of me doing his workout, Hudson's workout, next to him?

[Josiah]

You know what? It's very slim. And that's what makes it creepier.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

So you are very creepy. And me and him have a good relationship.

[Drew]

And I'm gonna be telling you, we

[Josiah]

go craz what I've known.

[Drew]

Like, not you being the lead, not him being a background character.

[Josiah]

Yeah, baby, we fought for that role. We fought for that role. Yeah, because I was supposed to have Connor's role.

[Drew]

But you just perform so well on set. Like I woke on Anora.

[Josiah]

Yeah, they were just like, we need more of this girl.

[Drew]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

[Kai]

So I guess we're just gonna let Drew do his big one.

[Drew]

You are the big one, babe.

[Josiah]

So you're gonna do him?

[Drew]

Maybe. I do him all the time.

[Kai]

Oh, you actually haven't hit in a minute.

[Josiah]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

Yeah, of course.

[Josiah]

Y' all are having a lowland intimacy.

[Kai]

No, it's because this cookie's on quarantine.

[Drew]

Yeah, this is Riley Wilson and Keon

[Riley Wilson]

Miller from ok, Storytime.

[Keon Miller]

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[Riley Wilson]

Wow, calling me out already. But yes. Last, best possible second.

[Drew]

Every year, same.

[Keon Miller]

Which is why I'm very into anything that makes tax season easier.

[Riley Wilson]

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[Keon Miller]

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[Riley Wilson]

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[Keon Miller]

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[Riley Wilson]

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[Keon Miller]

Meanwhile, A a dedicated TurboTax expert is checking every deduction and credit to help get you the best possible outcome.

[Riley Wilson]

And if a question comes up, you get unlimited expert help, even nights and weekends during tax season at no extra cost.

[Keon Miller]

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[Riley Wilson]

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[Keon Miller]

Visit TurboTax.com to get started.

[Riley Wilson]

Real time updates are available on the iOS mobile app.

[Josiah]

Finding out I had OCD alone was genuinely so relieving, it felt like it gave an answer to a question I had always been asking, which is why do I have so many questions? Why are the questions never ending? And why all the questions end with me being horrible and I'm going to burn for eternity for all of the bad things I do all day, even though I don't do anything bad.

[Drew]

And don't forget about that skin scrubbing.

[Josiah]

Oh yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah, that was bad. Real OCD is a serious condition where unwanted, distressing thoughts called intrusive thoughts get stuck on repeat in your head and you feel complied to engage in certain behaviors called compulsions to try to make them stop. No CD is a perfect place to start. It really can help you manage all of your OCD symptoms and get on a track where you can live with things and you don't always have to be answering to that question in your head.

[Drew]

Guys, OCD is one of the most treatable mental health conditions out there. If you get the right specialized kind of therapy. OCD needs ERP therapy or exposure and response prevention. It's proven to be the most effective treatment. Regular talk therapy isn't recommended for OCD and can actually make it worse. That's where NOCD comes in. They're the world's leading OCD treatment provider and all of their licensed therapists specialize in ERP therapy.

[Josiah]

Therapy with no CD is 100 virtual, covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans and includes support between sessions so you never have to face OCD alone. To learn more about OCD therapy with no CD, go to nocd.com and book a free call with their team.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

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[Enya]

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[Josiah]

Wait, his or yours?

[Kai]

Mine.

[Drew]

Oh, well, no, mine too.

[Josiah]

Oh, did you just do that to combat it? Yeah, mine's been on quarantine.

[Drew]

Actually. Actually, mine's been on quarantine for.

[Josiah]

Mine's actually been on Chernobyl ass quarantine. No one's been in there for a long time.

[Kai]

Trump and China are doing when they have those trade wars.

[Drew]

Trade. No, they hit the World Trade Center.

[Josiah]

I laughed so hard after I said we all have a hunger because I will never forget. Me and Drew and Orion were sitting in what's that spot? El Coyote.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah.

[Josiah]

We are sitting there eating. And Drew just goes, oh, what's that one song? Didn't know the artist, the, like, anything. He's like, is this girl and she's like really hungry. He was like, y' all like that song? It's like, oh, I don't know what she's talking about, but she's like hungry and like, it took us like 30 minutes to figure out he was talking about hungry. Yo, we're sorens in the machine.

[Drew]

Yeah. Were so mad when y' all figured it out.

[Josiah]

Because then he was like, I don't know. He was like, okay. He was like, this is a stretch, cuz. I don't know what the song is about, but like, it might be about eating disorders. Cuz she just keeps talking about being hungry and not eating. Like, so we were so. We were like, Melanie Martinez, like, what the are you doing?

[Drew]

And she's still in that diaper, banging on stage, pouting on stage.

[Josiah]

That's not funny. She got loose bowels. She can't control it. That's why she has that diaper. But you know what? She made it work because she was like, I'm not going to just be the girl selling.

[Drew]

She is still selling.

[Josiah]

Are popping, dude. There's so many artists who just. They're popping, period. You can't take them off of that.

[Drew]

It's that cult like audience.

[Josiah]

And then there's like Rita Ora. Like,

[Drew]

she. One thing about Rita, she's gonna get the invite. She will be on the red carpet, like, no matter what, whatever it takes. She will be at Oscars, Grammys.

[Josiah]

I mean, I will say one thing about her. She's gonna show up and look good.

[Drew]

Yeah. Which I will say the Oscars looks this year, the Vanity Fair after party looks were so good.

[Josiah]

I didn't really?

[Drew]

Look, I scrolled through in bed one by one and looked at every photo, and Odessa's dress was really gorgeous. And that designer. I'm forgetting his name right now. Will. Will be Major.

[Kai]

His name's Will be Major.

[Drew]

Yeah, I think it. I think it does have Will.

[Josiah]

It does. I think it is William something.

[Drew]

William.

[Josiah]

Because I think I saw that one.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's tap back in. Put your right foot in front of your left, heel to toe, and you can stay just like that. Okay. Okay.

[Kai]

Poppers.

[Josiah]

Pretty sure.

[Drew]

Just like you're doing right now. Like this. 1, 2, 3. All the way up to 9.

[Josiah]

That cop has awful balance.

[Drew]

1, 2, 3. He's literally proving the point that that's not toe.

[Josiah]

So you're going to be clicking your

[Drew]

heels as you're going. Arms by your side.

[Kai]

While you're doing this, you're going to

[Drew]

look down at your toes. Guys, I'm just. I'm just following from my side friends back to my house. Oh, I'm. I'm not like, oh, I'm not doing anything. I'm just calling my friends back to my house.

[Josiah]

Is he up, guys?

[Drew]

Is he anxious? Is he. Is he on drugs and alcohol?

[Josiah]

He lost, so he was behind on so many of the steps of what he was supposed to be doing. He was just.

[Drew]

Wait, guys, I think Justin Timber, he

[Josiah]

was about to make. Guys, I'm gonna be honest. I don't know what's happened. Like, he wanted to just break free and be like, I just want to go home.

[Drew]

I can't lie. I think he's drunk and on drugs in that video.

[Josiah]

No, no, the start to this one. Based off of. Okay, based off of his observations, you are intoxicated. Okay? So you were under arrest for dwi.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Kai]

This morning, newly released video of White being like. Okay, to be honest, these tests are really hard.

[Drew]

I agree. They're too hard. They're too hard. Hard.

[Josiah]

Honestly, really, really amazing stuff. Justin Timberlake is one of those guys, especially from that era where it's like, you were actually a piece of shit and evil.

[Drew]

You think he's done gay stuff?

[Josiah]

You know what? No. Because that's an evil spirit. Like, God bless you, Justin Timberlake. I don't have. Whatever.

[Drew]

There's dark energy, but there's dark.

[Josiah]

Oh, there's a darkness. But he's one of those people who, like, because of his discog, I'm just like, damn. Like, it's hard to.

[Drew]

You can separate the art from the art. The ghost of Justin.

[Josiah]

No, the Critter in the ceiling.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. And you know, the exterminator came and he just wanted to look outside.

[Josiah]

I know. I think he just opened that side thing and he left it open. And I'm like, is he hoping the animal just leaves on its own? Like, is he hoping the animals just

[Drew]

like, oh, my God, Finally.

[Josiah]

I've been looking.

[Drew]

There's animals in Inya's, Vince. And in the dryer vents. I was taking out the garbage the other day, and I, like, thought there was a critter in the garbage bag, but he's inside the dryer. Duct work, really?

[Josiah]

Oh, my God. I just remembered I had a dream, and in my dream, a balloon got sucked up into the air vents in the house. Like, I was like, had this balloon, and I think I took off the thing and it got sucked up, and I was so terrified of it popping and being loud. And I was, like, trying to follow it through the vents because I was like, holy, I'm gonna, like, accidentally start a fire or something because where is this random plastic gonna end up in this machine? And then I. That's all I remember from the dream is thinking that I was gonna accidentally explode the house because I got a balloon sucked up in the ac.

[Drew]

Let's ask machine Google what that means. Y' all ever do that?

[Josiah]

Hey, Google does mean that my dreams are always scary. And I feel like I'm gonna kill everyone I love. This is the critter.

[Drew]

There's two videos.

[Kai]

That's the sound coming out of the vent.

[Drew]

You're not even ready the next. And it's like the munching sound. Yes.

[Josiah]

It's like it's nails, like, running around

[Drew]

or trying to dig into the vents.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I think he's trying to, like, like, break through the vent. Oh, my God, it's literally gonna get in.

[Kai]

That's scary. It sounds like it's eating Doritos or something.

[Drew]

No. Oh, you're big ass would ninja Doritos. Okay, one's angry. Wait, send those videos to the group chat.

[Josiah]

Oh, Kai did the annoying guy thing today and texted me and said, oh, my God, I have a gift for you. And I already knew I was not expecting, because,

[Drew]

baby, I'm realistic. It's always, I have a gift for you. Where's the gift?

[Josiah]

I don't think. I don't think I've ever been like, oh, Kai's bringing something, period. Like, not even like, oh, he's gonna bring, like, high energy.

[Kai]

Or.

[Josiah]

No, it's just like, Kai's coming, period. Love him.

[Kai]

Come along.

[Josiah]

Like, you're not. You're not.

[Drew]

Kai brought a darkness with him today.

[Kai]

Well, I'm recovering from being.

[Drew]

He's recovering from the flu. We're letting it slide today.

[Josiah]

Anyway, it was my jewel. He stole my jewel and then returned it.

[Drew]

And I know his ass was hitting.

[Josiah]

He was. He was happy as to find that.

[Drew]

I know he got, like, literally, I had to, like, sit Kai down like a toddler and be like, I'm sorry, baby, you're not hitting my vape today. And he, like, kind of pouted for a second. He was like, I get it, I get it.

[Kai]

But, like, it's the principle I was looking at. There were. It was like a tik tok came up of the podcast and I was looking at this discourse about, this is really random. My brain doesn't work. But I just. I guess this is what I'm talking about. They were, like, talking about the characters that we play on the podcast, and they were like, oh, you guys know that they're just playing characters to a certain extent, right? Like, Drew isn't, like, as gay as he says that he is. Like, Enya's not actually a. And Kai's not actually a pervert. And I was like, wait, what?

[Drew]

I mean, there. It's the right direction. Okay, first of all, but that's tea. Actually, I am actually not as gay as I say I am.

[Josiah]

I'm not actually a. But you.

[Drew]

Wait, wait, you don't say anything.

[Kai]

I was thinking about.

[Josiah]

Yes, it. Yes, he does. He all.

[Drew]

He talks about you, him, you, him.

[Josiah]

And then every now and then, he's like, oh, my God, this video of me leaked and it's a girl, like, eating food on camera for a guy

[Kai]

who's moaning like, I know. I wish.

[Josiah]

What's awesome, though, is you are the opposite. It. Because I'm not going to air you out, but like, wow, Kai, I don't think. Because you can't say, like, the word sexy Seriously. At all. No, like, yeah, you.

[Kai]

I can't imagine looking at someone and saying, you're so sexy. Like, I can't. I can't imagine that. It's fucked up.

[Josiah]

That's really sad. You should get a therapist. I am also. Yeah, I actually am playing a character. I am one of the nicest people ever.

[Drew]

Right? It. Help me. I think I'm nice.

[Josiah]

I'm too nice, actually.

[Drew]

You're nice.

[Josiah]

That's what. What's funny is in real life, people are like, she's too nice. What the. Like, what the. I almost hate having her around. Because she's like, she's so nice.

[Drew]

Nice. It's horrible. Wait, what does this know, baby? Am I sunburned or my eyes deceiving me?

[Kai]

Oh,

[Josiah]

Drew fell asleep in the sun. We were out laying in the yard and he fell asleep. And I went inside, came back out, and he was knocked out.

[Drew]

And he's like, I had sunglasses on.

[Josiah]

He had sunglasses on. And the first words he said when he woke up were, and it was

[Drew]

like, am I sunburned or am I eyes deceiving me? And he was like, why are you speaking in fucking riddles right now?

[Josiah]

Like, he woke up, it was all like. He's like, am I sunburned or do my eyes deceive me? Like, very odd

[Kai]

sexual harassment.

[Drew]

Okay, can someone make a clip of a clip of an hour long clip of Kai sexually harassing me, please? Thank you.

[Kai]

Yeah, good luck even getting one minute minute of that.

[Josiah]

Dude, I wonder if y' all went back and forth who has verbally harassed one another more.

[Drew]

I always. I do it in reaction to Kai assaulting me.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. All right, I guess we're just gonna let Drew do his big one.

[Drew]

You are the big one, baby.

[Josiah]

Oh, my God. I didn't tell you all this story. When I was in London, I was drunk as I was at a members only club. And we went upstairs and we're being taken to a table and it was really packed because it was like a Friday. And there's an empty tape, two empty tables, and the waitress is bringing us to this table. It's four people, including myself, and we're going to sit down. And this guy just turns to us and is like, no, you don't sit there. Don't sit there. I've got all my stuff there for my friends. Like, he's like, trying to, like, hold

[Drew]

that just happened to me at a movie premiere.

[Josiah]

Yeah, he did that. And then we were like, oh, okay. But, like, the waitress was like, oh, no, but they're. They're not sitting next to you. They're sitting. It was like one of those long benches. And then there's like tables and chairs on the other side of the table. And she was like, oh, no, they're just gonna sit here. And he was like, they can sit there, but just like, don't touch my stuff. Like, he had, like, his stuff on a table that he was, like, saving for his friend. And we were all like, jesus Christ. Like, he was just being so aggro. So we were like, okay. And when we went to sit down, he, like, kept Looking at us and being like, just don't sit over here. Like he kept bothering us and to the point that I. I don't remember if I said anything. I. I was drunk as. And I don't know.

[Drew]

You definitely said some.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I don't remember what my first thing was him. But I wasn't being aggro because I just found him really funny. Because also like, if you have a

[Drew]

British accent, you're immediately funny.

[Josiah]

You're mad. Oh, baby, I bet you're mad. Like what they're like. To me, British people are actually the most passive, non confrontational people ever. So him acting like that wasn't like, like, oh my God, like shiver me timbers. I was like, baby, shut up. But he had his phone on the, on the cushion and I was closest to him. And I think someone we were with did say something. Was like someone we were with started the interaction with him and was like, okay, chill. Like, we're not, we're not gonna sit at your table. We're already sat here. We got sat here by someone and then he like got up and goes to talk to the waitress and he's in front of us and I think that's when I first spoke to him. And he was like, I'm just not trying to be aggress. Like, I just don't know you guys. And I want my stuff, like, I don't want my stuff to be touched and like bothered with. And then I just looked at him and I was like, you know what, smart guy? Cuz I was eyeing that iPhone and I was gonna take it and he was up and he, he just like looks at me, he's like, what? What? And he was like, you gonna do what? And I was like, I was gonna steal that phone. But like, whoa, you got you the smart smart. And then he was like, he goes, you can't steal from me actually, because there's a lot of cameras in here and it's like a members only club so they have your name. So if you like. He started to like freak out thinking I was gon it. And I just go, baby, cameras don't stop a thing. And like I said something like that to him and I was like, I don't care. I was like, I think I said, I was like, a camera never stopped me from doing what I love. Like. Or I said something like that to him and then he got freaked out and the waitress was like trying not to laugh and she moved us over to a different table. But I was annoying and we like, he Kept like looking at me and like every time I went to the bathroom and he was just like eyeing me down because I guess he, at this point, this man thinks I'm there to take his phone from him. I don't fucking know.

[Drew]

I know y' all maybe a little

[Josiah]

big issue with like phones being stolen in London. Like maybe that was it. Maybe.

[Drew]

I think they do maybe.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I think I hit a touchy topic. But I was just in such a funny trolling mood. I walked past his table like three times to like freak him out. And then at one point I went up to the table, I said to my friends, I was like, like, up. I was like, watch this. And I went over and I just like. And like, didn't look at him. Like, I didn't look at him. I just stood close as to his table and it was on a rooftop, so there was like a balcony. And I just went and stood right in front of him and was like, Like for way too long. It wasn't funny. He got really scared. And then when I went to go sit back down, he went to the waitress and he said that I was scaring him. And then she came up to me and she was like, were you looking for something? And I was like, yeah, I was looking for my jewel. I think I dropped it over there.

[Drew]

I was looking for his phone. I want to steal it.

[Josiah]

But yeah, I just wanted to tell that story because you should call the

[Drew]

hotel right now and say, hey, I was there a couple weeks ago. There was a guy and I really wanted to steal his phone. Can you give me his name so I can steal his phone?

[Josiah]

I really need his phone. I need to see what's in there. But yeah, I just wanted to tell that story because something is wrong with me. But it was really fun. That was such a fun experiment. Like he literally thought I was gonna kill him or something. Like, I don't know. It was so odd, me being like, he was so odd.

[Drew]

Yeah, you're the one.

[Josiah]

Well, to be fair, again, I always say this. I am not confrontational in the sense that like if somebody pushes up myself, I don't give a. But if somebody is pushing up on people I'm with, that's when I get annoyed. Thankfully, because of my Prozac and so many years of therapy, it doesn't come from like an aggressor place anymore. Now it's more so just like people. I. I understand now how weak minded most people who are that irritable, easily irritable are because I was once that easily. Absolutely irritable person. It's really fun to just play mind games. Play mind games. Like, he literally. I think he thought I was gonna stab him. And his friends never showed up. Craziest part, he was alone the whole time.

[Drew]

That's what I was gonna say at the movie. They were, like, holding two seats next to each other, and they were the last two seats next to each other, and they never showed up. They did not show up. Up the entire movie. And I was like, oh, cool.

[Josiah]

So that's another a lister who doesn't play about the seating situation.

[Drew]

It was Connor's story, and it was after the gym incident, and I really wanted to sit next to him.

[Josiah]

You were following him? Well, he probably saw you walking into the theater and was like, this guy's actually starving.

[Drew]

I did see him again at the gym, and I waved to him, and he just kind of, like, smiled and ran away from me. But it makes sense.

[Josiah]

You're scaring him.

[Drew]

I am. I am.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew]

It makes a lot of sense. I think he thinks I'm the killer and the stalker, and I think he's. If he is aware of who I am, I think he's worried that exactly what's happening now is going to happen. So.

[Josiah]

So he has every reason, every reason to be scared of your freaky ass.

[Drew]

It's all valid.

[Josiah]

He loves me. He. He just can't stop blowing my phone up.

[Drew]

I know, y'. All.

[Josiah]

No, I'm obsessed with him. I had a single interaction with him, and I'm like a. But he, to me, just gave me the sense I. Because Drew has been humiliated by this. He literally called me, and he was like, do you think I was being creepy? And I was like, I do think you were kind of accidentally being creepy.

[Drew]

You clock you like, you nailed. What is it? Nailed. The nail on the head. Hit the nail on there.

[Josiah]

Yeah, hit the nail.

[Drew]

Yeah, the nail on the head. It's in the gym is, like, kind of West Hollywood. So it's a bunch of gay men in that gym, and. And gay shit does happen. And I think he is at the top of the gay pyramid right now. So, like, I think he thinks he's being perved on, and it's not a very safe space for him to work out in, which is not my mission. I just wanted to say hi, but I learned my lesson, and I'm gonna leave him alone from now on. I'm gonna let him brush him. I'm.

[Josiah]

Leave him alone.

[Drew]

I'm gonna let him brush conversation.

[Josiah]

Going to leave him Alone.

[Drew]

I'm going to watch from afar. I'm going to watch him work out

[Josiah]

me when I texted that person and said, do you. Are you a bad texter? You just don't with me. And then they said, weird. And I didn't get a second date. What? What?

[Drew]

Oh, I forgot about that.

[Josiah]

Whoa.

[Drew]

Have y' all had any interaction since?

[Josiah]

Absolutely not.

[Drew]

You haven't even seen him.

[Josiah]

I have. It's been. But it's just like, awkward.

[Riley Wilson]

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[Keon Miller]

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[Drew]

Same.

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[Josiah]

Finding out I had OCD alone was genuinely so relieving, it felt like it gave an answer to a question I had always been asking, which is, why do I have so many questions? Why are the questions never ending? And why do all the questions end with me being horrible and I'm going to burn for eternity for all of the bad things I do all day, even though I don't do anything bad?

[Drew]

And don't forget about that skin scrub.

[Josiah]

Oh yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah, that was bad. Real OCD is a serious condition where unwanted, distressing thoughts called intrusive thoughts get stuck on repeat in your head and you feel complied to engage in certain behaviors called compulsions to try to make them stop. No CD is a perfect place to start. It really can help you manage all of your OCD symptoms and get on a track where you can live with things and you don't always have to be answering to that question in your head.

[Drew]

Guys. OCD is one of the most treatable mental health conditions out there if you get the right specialized kind of therapy. OCD needs ERP therapy or exposure and response prevention. It's proven to be the most effective treatment. Regular talk therapy isn't recommended for OCD and can actually make it worse. That's where no CD comes in. They're the world's leading OCD treatment provider and all of their licensed therapists specialize in ERP therapy.

[Josiah]

Therapy with no CD is 100 virtual, covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans and includes support between sessions so you never have to face OCD alone. To learn more about OCD therapy with no CD, go to nocd.com and book a free call with their team.

[Drew]

That's nocd.com support for the show comes

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[Josiah]

Mainly on my side, I think because I'm like, ew, like reading. I do occasionally read back my text and I'm like, whoa, the way I speak is so

[Drew]

Hindsight is always 2020.

[Josiah]

I'll do it again. I don't give a a.

[Drew]

You thought the cookie was going to get munched on and like you were doing your big one, not me doing my big one.

[Josiah]

But yeah, I do think that whole situation is just like he's just too sexy. No, not the guy I'm talking about by the way. I mean Connor.

[Drew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, this is just like a funny story, a funny anecdote. Me and Enya used to live like literally a four minute walk away from like the most notorious gay sauna in la. Like, like it's it notorious. Maybe not the right word, but like it is famously the the most known gay sauna. And it also has a golfing range, like a hitting range where you hit golf balls in the back. And I love hitting golf balls. So I would always go and hit golf balls and then post on my story that I was hitting golf balls at this range change and all of the gay guys would like respond and

[Kai]

like all of the gay guys, all

[Drew]

of the gay guy, all of the gay guys would respond and like, and like, oh, is this Century City? And I was like, wait, my gay friends play golf too? Like, this is so goaded because I was naive to the fact that it was a gay sauna that they're. And then it didn't. It came crashing down when Jordan Firstman responded and he was like, I. I probably still have the DM with him. But he was like, why are you at Century City Spa? And I was like, I'm hitting golf balls. And he's like, you do know, like, that's like the cruising spot in la. And I was like, that's what I'm saying. It looked like I was a and a slag, like, going and tearing up, which, like, period. I get freaky. And like, I get it. Like, go ahead, like, do your thing.

[Josiah]

But like. And I get freaky.

[Drew]

No, but like, it's just like the fact that I was doing that naively

[Josiah]

and just like, the naivete.

[Drew]

The naivete avatar. The naivety of it all. And now I just go to Century City Spa just for fun.

[Josiah]

Wait, Sundry City?

[Drew]

Yes. I'm getting spit on. And. Yeah, yeah.

[Josiah]

Is Hawk Tua still around?

[Drew]

No, she's gone. Did she start an only fans? No, I think she started in only fans. I'm not even kidding. I remember hearing that. No, Josiah probably told me that. Lying.

[Josiah]

Oh, my God. The men's version of that is starting to twitch stream and playing, like, gambling games.

[Drew]

Yes. Yes. That's like the male equivalent to a woman doing. Oh, my God. Wait, how do you spell her name?

[Kai]

H, A, W, K. Okay, did Hawk

[Drew]

Tua girl I got your ass start in only fans?

[Kai]

I got your ass with that one.

[Drew]

Hawk to a girl went from Internet fame to only fans. Haley Welch, known as Hawk to a girl has not launched an only fans account. So I'm getting conflicting information from Google right now. Hakua girl trend girl Haley Welch has recently announced she is starting an only fan fans. I mean, I don't know if I believe this. I don't know about this one, guys. It has 37 likes.

[Josiah]

Kind of beautiful how that form of graphic design within the gossip world translated so like, synonymously with the way gossip zines looked in person. Like that graphic design of just like, the picture, the yellow word, like the bubbles, like, zooming.

[Drew]

My favorite. My favorite one is the video from, like, literally like the second week of the pandemic where it was like, gen Z is smoking on COVID 19 now or they're vaping COVID 19. Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's my favorite video ever. I thought you were going to say smoking Covid.

[Josiah]

I thought you were going to say your favorite video from COVID was Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello taking their their str through their neighborhood in Miami. Cuz that's my favorite co moment.

[Drew]

That one is.

[Josiah]

That's the best celebrity Covid moment. Everybody likes to reference the singing, but like that to me is top tier.

[Drew]

That is one of the greatest moments. And there are some things I want to say about it that I can't say about it because I don't want swagger jackers. Oh, should I answer a spam call?

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Hello? Hello? Oh, wait me when I'm David Lynch.

[Josiah]

It's very, it's very important, I think that someone will be with you in a minute.

[Drew]

This is giving like. Hello? Wait, why would they call me and put me on hold? They called me and put me on hold immediately because they want you to

[Josiah]

know you're your play with the big leagues. Okay?

[Drew]

And they hung up. Clock it, dumbass. No, I swear there's like a video

[Josiah]

getting mad that the fam caller like didn't put top priority on your call.

[Drew]

Like Kai. Yeah, they could have got our ass.

[Josiah]

Oh, Kai, I'm sorry, Kai.

[Kai]

Thank you.

[Drew]

Someone knows what I'm talking about. I can't find the video. I have it saved in my camera roll, but it's so old. But it's. The kids are now vaping on Corona 19 and it's like an edit of them vaping and doing smoke tricks with Corona 19 or COVID 19. Vapes. I found it. I found it. I'm so sorry. I do like, I'm so sorry, but you have to see it.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Young people who are gonna think easy alternative for me to deal with my stress and anxiety.

[Drew]

But you have to remember, don't tase

[Josiah]

me, bro is coming to Broadway.

[Drew]

But you have to remember this happened like day of peak brain rot, Covid era. And it's still very special to me. It's still very, very special to me. And I posted it unironically like 10 times on my Meme Again account over the years.

[Josiah]

Oh my God, you've kind of abandoned your meme account.

[Drew]

Yeah, I have.

[Josiah]

Wow.

[Drew]

I know I haven't posted on it. I think I got up to like 3,600 memes for the archive, but just shit's not funny. I'm not even kidding. Like, like no one is funny anymore.

[Josiah]

That's true, that's true.

[Drew]

Like there nothing, there is nothing to laugh about. This is not funny. No, but like unironically like people are just making like stupid bad memes and I'm, like, annoyed by it actually. Like, get a job challenge, maybe my brains developed.

[Josiah]

Well, why don't you start making the memes since you had all these big

[Drew]

ideas making the memes for a very long time.

[Josiah]

True, true, true, true.

[Drew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Josiah]

I just saw a picture of you edited with yourself, and it literally made me laugh so hard.

[Drew]

I was making the Pythagorean theorem memes with my hairline.

[Josiah]

Dude, wait, also, this.

[Drew]

I was. I was the baby inside the octuplet Mom's womb. Boom. Banging at the walls.

[Josiah]

For some reason, this picture, like, this picture, it only makes me laugh because, guys, this guy's personal life is a hellscape.

[Drew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Josiah]

Like, I mean, same. I relate to Josie on that. But, like, this motherfucker also going through

[Drew]

the porch types of stories that I

[Josiah]

was like, dude, whoa.

[Drew]

Who are you? Who are you?

[Josiah]

Also, we were at Ben's show, which was incredible. Ben Evans, oil painter. Great work. So unreal. It was held at, like, a historic house.

[Drew]

I think people can go see it. I think you DM at same old on Instagram and, like, you can go view the paintings.

[Josiah]

Oh, my God. If that's a thing. Yeah, please do go, because it's just so gorgeous.

[Drew]

And go buy one day. Damn.

[Josiah]

What was I going to say, though?

[Drew]

Josiah.

[Josiah]

Oh, we were there and Josiah was there, and somebody comes up to Josie and goes, oh, my God. You're the guy who posts, like, funny selfies all the time and funny captions. Yeah. And Josie had the audacity to be like, what me?

[Drew]

And I. I was like, yes, you.

[Josiah]

You don't make this feel crazy. You're the crazy one. And then him going through them last night, I was like, I can't believe even never go, me.

[Drew]

What me?

[Josiah]

Like, you know, it's because. It's because I always say this. All of this, this is. This is real. This is like Josie's child star from the 1910s trapped in the body.

[Drew]

They reanimated him. Like, they put the color.

[Josiah]

It feels like he was supposed to be like, a background character when Pinocchio and them go to the circus.

[Drew]

Like, and, you know, that would have looked good in black and white.

[Josiah]

Oh, wait, let's see.

[Drew]

Like, you know, that. That, Like, it looks like a creepy lion.

[Josiah]

I'm obsessed with this.

[Drew]

Y' all remember. Y' all remember Marina Joyce? Marina Joyce, Marina Joy. Y' all remember her when the Internet, like, Internet thought she was like, she was being held captive and forced to, like, upload YouTube videos.

[Josiah]

You know what's Crazy, though, is that did happen to a Korean.

[Drew]

Korean girl unironically.

[Josiah]

Yeah. Her boyfriend was, like, taking all her money.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

He's dead now. And if not now, a few hours,

[Drew]

but not by your hands.

[Josiah]

Never.

[Drew]

But yeah. Marina Joyce, I think, was one of the funniest.

[Josiah]

Marina.

[Drew]

Marina. Why do we say I just called her Marina Joyce one day? Marina Joyce.

[Josiah]

Dude, I'm obsessed with that. The Internet. Like, we've gotten to a place where, because there's so much knowledge about, like, moral standings and how to, quote, unquote. Unquote. Be, like, a good person, that the Internet needs somebody who they think they're saving at least, like, once a month. There's somebody who. The Internet is like, guys, if we all come together, we got them. And it's like, yeah. Yes. But this is psychosis. This is literally like, Marina Doity. Did she show any signs or. So they were right.

[Drew]

I mean, I think, like, the story goes, like, she was completely fine. Like, there was. There was nothing. Like, there was nothing wrong with her. People just made it bigger than it actually was. People just. Actually just acted a little funky.

[Josiah]

Yeah. People just pointed out her.

[Drew]

Her autism. Yeah, exactly. Like, they were just. Like, they never seen it. Why doesn't she look at me?

[Josiah]

Me?

[Drew]

Yeah. Yeah. But no, like, Internet sleuth culture will always be funny to me. And, like, they've been right one time, and since then, they've never let it go. And it's only, like, evolved worse and worse. Like, I'll never, ever, ever forget the Boston bombing. Like, Reddit, like, when that was going down. And just, like, looking at how wrong these people were and who they were falsely accusing and like, all of this, like, it was so crazy. And they kind of did it with Gabby Patito a little bit where, like, I don't know, the Idaho went missing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's just like. It's like, can y', all, like, let.

[Josiah]

Well, it's just that thing.

[Drew]

Detectives do their job.

[Josiah]

Like, everyone, including myself, self knows no true balance. Especially once you start feeling the. The joy of being correct and being correct for, like, moral good reasonings. That's such a. Like, how often in your life do you get to see actual, like, validation like, that from something you just thought based on, like, your heart of hearts of, like, I'm just a good person.

[Drew]

This is what I think.

[Josiah]

Yeah. Like, my intuition was right. Right. That's so validating. And now you can make money off of it. Like, what? Also, it just sucks again, because there's no balance. Because Part of it is so good. Like, with good Internet out of it. Yeah. We do get way more information. I was watching. I'm trying to think. There was. I watched a really long video about how, like, true crime from the dawn of time has been just a way rapping. Hey, a true crime from the done at time. Playing with Drew's mind and his. That booty's mine. Okay. What the. He trying to control me. How? It's always been wrapped up in just, like, US Propaganda for being pro, like, military, pro police, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, a lot of true crime is funded by, like, the government and like, Mr. Onslaught.

[Drew]

Yeah, funded by the military.

[Josiah]

A huge, like. Remember in like, I think it's like the 30s and 40s where investigative, like, investigators were such a huge genre, like investigator movies and like, crime movies of like. Oh, I'm the. Like, whatever. All of that was really being fueled and funneled by the government. And it was illegal to portray for a while or I don't know, like, the legalities of it, but it was so against the rules to portray anybody within the government system as bad. And a lot of our true crime that we have comes from that corrupt governments. But yeah, this girl made a really. I have to try to find the video, but she made a really interesting video about how so much of crimes, like, get solved through, like, sleuthing. Because a lot of them are cold cases that, like, evidence is there. It's just literally, as we've always known, the police system is not an investigative system. Like, you're literally hiring bum fuck dummies to go look at a dead body and be like, yeah, someone did that. Someone else had to have done that.

[Drew]

The crown eaters.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew]

You know, they ate crowns and glue. I mean, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, like crayons. Like Jackie Kennedy.

[Josiah]

Oh, I thought. I thought you were meeting Meaning crowns. Like metal.

[Drew]

Like Jack. Oh, my God, I love jfk. Love Story. Oh, my God, it's so good.

[Josiah]

That's one of those.

[Drew]

And they're both so hot. Oh, my God, they're so hot.

[Josiah]

Everything is porn.

[Drew]

Everything is porn.

[Josiah]

Everything is.

[Drew]

Everything means nothing to me.

[Josiah]

Everything means nothing to me. Everything.

[Drew]

Me, Marina Joyce and the Popeyes chicken sandwich.

[Josiah]

More and more kids go missing.

[Drew]

I've been noticing that more and more restaurants start releasing released chicken sandwiches.

[Josiah]

I've been.

[Drew]

I've been noticing that.

[Josiah]

Loki. That's how you sound like most days. Like, you come into my room and you're like, I have to say something. And then you just.

[Enya]

Oh, you.

[Josiah]

You were Doing it literally right there.

[Drew]

You what?

[Josiah]

He was, like, talking about washing his bed sheets, and he had to make it this whole, like, proclamation. I'm just like, I don't know, like, let me.

[Drew]

Let me get on my stand or soapbox? Like, let me stand on my soapbox.

[Josiah]

You can never be like, oh, yeah, I had to wash my sheets, dude. He started, like, trying to describe what incited him to wash your sheets.

[Drew]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I love having conversations. I'm never defending myself. I'm just conversing.

[Josiah]

What the are you talking.

[Drew]

I don't know if I can.

[Josiah]

Okay. Who that?

[Drew]

Wait, who. Who. Who did your hair?

[Josiah]

Who the did your hair? What? What? I'm talking on the phone. I'm talking on the phone. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Well, he was describing his sheets, and he. What do you say you go? And I got in my bed, and it just. There were so many smells.

[Drew]

No food and smell. I walked in, okay, this is what it was. I took out the garbage. I went my room, and I smelt like food smell in my room because I ate food on the floor of my bedroom last night. I'm 28.

[Josiah]

He does it every day.

[Drew]

And then I just, like, smelt smells. Like, I just. I just smelt a smell. And I was like, I have to wash my bed. Like, that's. That's the.

[Josiah]

And he can't describe the smell. He just said he smelled a smell and he knew it was time.

[Drew]

And then I was like, oh, I've been sweating because of the heat wave. He waves been faking me. Know,

[Josiah]

Drew, sometimes when I love that your name is Drew. I love putting your name in songs. What was the one I was doing this morning?

[Drew]

I can't remember some nights that I think about as Drew.

[Josiah]

Late night in the middle of Drun

[Drew]

Drun Dr. Kai is literally just looking at the weather app on his phone. Like, he is just mindlessly scrolling through his app page for three years.

[Josiah]

He wants something to give him to dopamine so bad.

[Kai]

I am sick.

[Josiah]

So bitch. Weebinousis.

[Kai]

I'm sick.

[Josiah]

You've always been sick.

[Kai]

I know. And I'm sick mentally too.

[Drew]

Yeah, Kai. Well, you look strong and your hair looks good today.

[Kai]

Thank you. Seriously, thank you. Did you guys.

[Josiah]

When Drew said that his hand immediately went to go rub his own thigh?

[Drew]

He's soothing himself. He's soothing himself.

[Kai]

No, I didn't. No, I didn't.

[Drew]

Do you guys.

[Josiah]

Now he doesn't know what to do with his hand. He's like, fuck, I'M being watched.

[Kai]

You missed me? No, no, not at all.

[Josiah]

It's crazy, actually.

[Drew]

It's crazy. We got a table at a party Kai said yes to, didn't show up to the party.

[Josiah]

He was the only one who didn't go.

[Kai]

This is painful because, you know, I wanted to go.

[Drew]

Yeah. And, like, I'm. I'm literally not. I'm not saying this to hurt your feelings. I'm literally dead serious. It was so fun.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Like, we were smoking cigarettes inside.

[Josiah]

The next day, me, Josie, and Drew and sat in the dining room and looked through the photos we had all

[Drew]

taken in videos, and everyone that we went with was like. I think that was, like, one of the best nights of my life. No, I. I swear to God. I swear to God.

[Josiah]

Because everyone was just on a good, funny one having funny interactions. Like,

[Drew]

Jeff. Oh, yeah. Jeff was having a blast.

[Josiah]

Yeah, we all had a blast. It was so fun.

[Drew]

Like, I smoked a cigarette inside, which I'm still waiting for, like, security camera footage to leak of me and then being like, help me find this man so he can pay for, like, cleanup or whatever. But I wasn't the only one. I actually wasn't even the first one. I was, like, the eighth one to smoke a cigarette, but I'm still just waiting for the day.

[Josiah]

Sheeple.

[Drew]

Sheeple person.

[Josiah]

Sheep over here. I smoked inside as well.

[Drew]

Terrence was there.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah. Got.

[Drew]

He is literally a. He is literally fine.

[Josiah]

He's one of the most attractive men I've ever seen in person.

[Kai]

Yeah, he has nice, broad shoulders.

[Drew]

Yeah. He's really athletic. I, like, I. It was kind of intimidated because I was, like, looking up to talk at him, and I was like, I don't like this. I hate that.

[Kai]

I hate that.

[Drew]

I know.

[Kai]

I've. I have actually.

[Drew]

You know what's crazy is it was Jeff and Terence, and I was both looking up at them, like, talking, and

[Josiah]

I was two of the hottest people.

[Drew]

Exactly.

[Josiah]

Dude. That picture with Jeff, and it is so funny because he looks so hot.

[Drew]

He's mogging and all. This is like, Gargoyles look fucking awful.

[Josiah]

Because it's, like, the worst lighting, and the light is cast perfectly on him, and he's just, like, half lit, and he's just like,

[Kai]

Oh, wow. Yeah. Josiah looks like. Like a cat. Like, he looks like. Doesn't he look like he has cat makeup on?

[Drew]

Yes.

[Josiah]

No, you just have the picture I keep showing Permafried.

[Kai]

Oh, Drew, you look good.

[Drew]

No, I knew.

[Kai]

You look good. No, I mean, you don't. I understand that this May not be, like, the best photo of you, but I don't think you look bad. And Enya looks very cute too.

[Josiah]

Sorry. You had it spread open in front of me. That was.

[Drew]

You can smell it. Oh, I'm sorry.

[Josiah]

It was wrapping me.

[Drew]

I'm sorry.

[Josiah]

Yeah, it was like Chernobyl back here.

[Drew]

It was literally like, I haven't watched on the Internet.

[Josiah]

If my brain, if my body. If I had an apple watch with a radiation detector, it would have blinked. But I always look cute. Come on.

[Drew]

And then I cried to this video on the way home yesterday morning. It's been a long, long time since I memorized your face.

[Josiah]

What is this?

[Drew]

It's been four hours now since I've wandered through your place. And when I sleep on your couch, I feel very safe.

[Kai]

Haunting. Haunting.

[Drew]

Where did the sadness in that man's voice come from?

[Josiah]

I'm pretty sure he's had a devastating life. No.

[Kai]

Yes.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I know.

[Drew]

His mom and stuff or whatever.

[Josiah]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Drew]

A lot of people feel bad for.

[Kai]

I feel bad for.

[Josiah]

I feel bad for.

[Kai]

A lot of people say that I look like Sifjon Stevens, so.

[Josiah]

Oh, okay. So we should get into media. That was a great place to start.

[Drew]

Yeah. The mutilated version. Sorry, guys.

[Kai]

I'm Sufjan's doppelganger.

[Drew]

I've been listening to Question Mark Bass Victim album on fucking repeat.

[Josiah]

You want a cookie?

[Drew]

Literally. Give me that cookie right fucking now. You've done it this time. Snow Strippers. I think I talked about that last episode.

[Josiah]

What I'm listening to is no Dreams by Todd Dunlap. Sending all my love out Emerson, Detroit, in effect, Rue Escondida Black Mighty Orchestra. And I literally love. I haven't listened to the new album, the Burnt Fires album, but Stay here for Life, the ASAP song with Brent on it and have to. The, like, single from that album are so good. Needing to listen to that.

[Drew]

I think he needed a better rollout, but, I mean, it's probably really hard to secure funding at this point.

[Josiah]

Not only that, though, I actually think he's big enough that, like, in my head, this album is doing crazy well. Because he's just one of those artists to me, where I'm like, I don't know that Brent Fias has ever done a rollout. Like, that's never been his.

[Drew]

He was like, tip, I guess, dipping his toes into this one.

[Josiah]

Yeah. But I just, like, never get fed that dude.

[Drew]

He's a huge artist.

[Josiah]

Oh, my God. No, he does not need a roll out.

[Drew]

Is it killing One of the songs

[Josiah]

from that album already has 32 million streams. And the song I was talking about with ASAP, 61 million streams, dude. I mean yeah, cuz that's what I was thinking. I was like, he doesn't need a roll out cuz dude, look how many Clouded has like what is it, 7 billion? That's not 7 billion.

[Drew]

Half a billion.

[Josiah]

One time I saw him in the hotel, the addition or something, and I was so gagged. He was just sat at the bar alone.

[Drew]

That's so sick.

[Josiah]

And I like walked past and I felt like such a creep because me and my sisters love him so much. Like that's the one artist. All three of us are like, Yas Gaga.

[Drew]

I feel like you're always buying your sister's concert tickets to Brent Vallez for some reason. I feel like it's like a three time a year event.

[Josiah]

Nathalie last went to Mariah the Scientist. That was her last, last one. I'd actually, you know what's up is I think she hasn't been able to see Brent F. Oh in person. She was. Oh no, I.

[Kai]

Who?

[Drew]

Didn't you get birthday tickets or something? Like three tickets for her birthday?

[Josiah]

No, she saw Billy Eilish. I got her tickets to see Billy Eilish. I'm talking about Natalie, my little sister who I really want on the podcast. She's so funny.

[Drew]

I know. Oh my God, that would be so fun.

[Josiah]

But she, she loves going to concerts. I think she's going to one this weekend. Like mother, like daughter. I taught her young.

[Drew]

That's cute.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Which one?

[Josiah]

I don't know. I have to ask because. Yeah, the last one she went to was Mariah the Scientist. She went to Billie Eilish. She saw Drake.

[Drew]

Oh, can I say I am kind of. Never mind. I'm not gonna say that. Never mind. Wow.

[Josiah]

Okay.

[Drew]

It redacted. Self editing period. Kai media.

[Kai]

My media is ear. I've been listening to a lot of Ear. Ear.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Kai]

And this song over and over and over again. I listened to this song 30 times yesterday and I destroyed my brain.

[Drew]

Wait, why that song?

[Kai]

It's incredible. I don't know, I just think this is the best song I've ever heard this week.

[Drew]

It's like on Tik Tok, right?

[Kai]

Yeah, it's a tick tock song. And then he has another song that sounds. I was like, oh, I need more of this. And then I found another song that he made. It's basically

[Drew]

like the down ver. The dark sided version.

[Kai]

I think I listened to Both of those songs, like, 30 times each yesterday.

[Josiah]

I'll let you have it. Because I listen to these two songs, like, every morning, and one of them being Tuta make it roll. I listen to this, and this has to be followed by the Yamaha fast because it just sounds perfect. Well, so I'm not gonna say too much because I.

[Drew]

And I also can't say too much because this is, like, my favorite song right now.

[Kai]

Oh, dude, I was listening. Okay, this is the other song.

[Josiah]

Dude. Ready?

[Kai]

That I was listening to.

[Drew]

Hey, Slow and reverb.

[Kai]

And the final thing I want to say, media wise, is I know all you little. All the tweens are listening to ear now, but if you like Ear, you should listen to Figurine, because Figurine is the first version of that.

[Drew]

Tweens.

[Kai]

All the tweens are listening to ear. And all the tweens, I think are

[Josiah]

Tweens technically exist anymore, which is why I actually. I would like to be the. I'm the last person who should be making, like, tween content. Like, tween appropriate content. I don't think I would get that done job. Someone's got to do it, though.

[Drew]

When your teacher in high school gives you a pop quiz on a Friday. When your teacher gives you a. This is your tween. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When your teacher gives you a pop quiz on a Monday, you didn't have any time to study.

[Josiah]

How.

[Kai]

How. When your teacher's yelling at you and how your friend looks. How your friend looks at you while your teacher's yelling at you. You. When you're walking in the.

[Josiah]

Trying not to laugh.

[Drew]

When you're walking in the hallway and you see your crush.

[Josiah]

Okay, bye.

[Enya]

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[Enya]

There's a fire inside you you can't ignore.

[Josiah]

Stand still.

[Drew]

Not a chance.

[Josiah]

You're a lifelong learner who's come this far.

[Enya]

Now we are here to help you keep going further. Capella University what can't you do? Visit capella.edu to learn more. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.