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- [00:01]
A
Hey guys, we wanted to take a quick break to thank our favorite place to shop for warmer clothes for the winter. Quince. Quince is known for their Mongolian cashmere sweaters that start at just $50. These sweaters just so happen to be my favorite piece. I've ordered from Quince. They're ridiculously soft, well priced and come in many colors, but obviously my favorite is navy blue. Get cozy in Quince's high quality wardrobe essentials. Go to quince.comintercom for free SH shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q U I N C E dot com Intercom to get free shipping and 365 day returns.
- [00:47]
B
The number one selling product of its kind with over 20 years of research and innovation. Botox Cosmetic Adobotulinum Toxin A is a prescription medicine used to temporarily make moderate to severe frown lines, crow's feet and forehead lines look better in adults.
- [01:02]
A
Effects of Botox Cosmetic may spread hours to weeks after injection causing serious symptoms. Alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems or muscle weakness may be a sign of a life threatening condition. Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Don't receive Botox Cosmetic if you have a skin infection. Side effects may include allergic reactions, injection site pain, headache, eyebrow and eyelid drooping and eyelid swelling. Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms and dizziness. Tell your doctor about medical history, muscle or nerve conditions including ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease, Myasthenia gravis or Lambert Eaton syndrome and medications including including Botulinum toxins as these may increase the risk of serious side effects. For full safety information visit botoxcosmetic.com or call 877-351-0300.
- [01:43]
B
See for yourself at botoxcosmetic.com.
- [01:48]
A
So you're getting hungry.
- [01:50]
B
Really hungry.
- [01:51]
A
Head to Jack in a Box and pick up a smashed Jack. It's a juicy, delicious smashed burger topped with cheese, pickles, grilled onions and Boss sauce. And it's now available on Sourdough. The Smash Jack Only a Jack in the Box? Order one on the Jack app today.
- [02:27]
B
Hello Hello.
- [02:30]
A
I have an Arcaric beanie on A lot of people don't even really know what arc'teryx is and I think it's a popular brand. It's. It's a very special brand that a lot of people they don't know about. Like you were saying and it's a really expensive brand.
- [02:47]
B
I was saying I think a lot.
- [02:48]
A
Of people Know about it, don't know about it. Yeah, exactly. So. And it's a really, really expensive beanie I have on a.
- [02:55]
B
That's cool.
- [02:56]
A
Thank you.
- [02:57]
B
Do you know anything? Like, can you give us any anecdote, facts about the brand? Like.
- [03:04]
A
No. Oh, I don't know shit about shit I buy. Oh, what was I gonna say? Oh, don't talk shit about me wearing this fucking shirt again so soon.
- [03:14]
B
When did you wear it? I don't even remember.
- [03:16]
A
Not you, them. Because I know they're gonna have some fucking slick shit to say. Oh, Drew wears the same thing every fucking episode. Yeah, bitch, I'm saving the earth. What are you fucking doing? Fucking buying a bunch of bullshit landfill. No, I wear the things I buy. I wore it like two weeks ago.
- [03:34]
B
That was long enough ago. Well, you just get, like, offended now because everybody thinks you have, like three pairs of shirt. I do. Three shirts and three pairs of pants.
- [03:44]
A
I mean, yeah, no, everybody's fucking toxic to me lately. Stop fucking talking about me.
- [03:49]
B
Oh, my God. I thought it like. You loved when people.
- [03:51]
A
No, I love when they talk good about me, but when they start, like, saying, slick shit, bitch. Someone. Someone had a full on dissection of my body. My archetype. Oh, I know what it feels like to be a girl.
- [04:07]
B
I was just saying now, you know, everybody's always like, why is Anya so angry? Like, why is she yelling at us, bitch? That's why I have to see people say things like that.
- [04:15]
A
Someone had a lot to say about my fucking body. Things that I am very, very insecure about, which. Don't fucking play with me. And then on top of that, I saw an entire conversation about my penis size. We all know I have a giant fucking wiener. Like, it's. I'm hungry.
- [04:33]
B
You have to, like, you have to really explain this to me because were they saying you had a small penis or a big one?
- [04:38]
A
They just. Someone said Drew has a big penis. That's hilarious. And then there was a full on argument about me having an extremely average sized penis, which. Don't fucking play. Just don't talk about my fucking penis. I get to talk about my penis. Y'all don't get to talk about my penis.
- [04:56]
B
I never needed to hear you say, like, penis that many times.
- [04:59]
A
Penis, penis, penis, penis, penis.
- [05:01]
B
And that's how we get the yellow check on our videos.
- [05:05]
A
Exactly.
- [05:06]
B
We get that.
- [05:07]
A
Oh, that brings me to my next fucking point. I went to Best Buy because Kai stole. He stole. He's a thief. He's not here.
- [05:14]
B
This is the second Time. Kai has just randomly left town and taken our stuff with him. He. So he. What he's doing is he's coming into the house, taking things, and then leaving for an extended amount of time. So by the time he comes back, we forget that he's a fucking thief and we let him back in the house.
- [05:28]
A
So he stole from us. He stole SD cards. And you bought two SD cards, but one of them didn't work for our audio equipment. So I had to go to Best Buy to buy a micro SD card. And I was shopping around Best Buy a little bit. I've been wanting to get a Samsung phone for a long time. I want the flip one or the fold? The Samsung flipper fold. And so I was playing with it for a little.
- [05:52]
B
Imagining you in a Best Buy alone is really freaking me out.
- [05:55]
A
Yeah, no, it was. It was a very.
- [05:56]
B
Imagine you anywhere alone. Like when you went to Rite Aid and you ran into Petra and she sent me. She sent me a picture of you and I was looking at it, I was like, oh my God. When he's out there, he really is just out there. Like, he goes outside and he's alone.
- [06:10]
A
No, I stay outside. For real. Like, we're outside. We're outside. Okay. Right. One thing about Enya is she's gonna make sure the lighting's okay.
- [06:22]
B
I don't have my glasses on, so I feel like I. I can't see.
- [06:26]
A
But it looks fine.
- [06:27]
B
So you were in Best Buy?
- [06:28]
A
Yeah, and I was gonna get one of those Dyson fans. The one that do the heating, the cooling, and the purification. Yes, I do the cooling, dicing. Be like. But then I also want one with the humidifier. Dyson, just make a fucking fan with hot mode, cool mode humidifier and purifier and sell it for fifteen hundred dollars. People will fucking buy it. Actually, no, they won't.
- [06:53]
B
You've been looking at the one you're talking about for four fucking years and you refuse to buy it. Because nothing like that is something that shouldn't be that expensive.
- [07:01]
A
Yeah. But anyways, I was looking around and then I went back to the phones and I was playing with the phone and I was like, huh? Like, I just want to play around with this for a little bit. So I went on YouTube to look up just anything and I was like, oh, I'm curious about the emergency intercom channel, what it looks like on here? Looked it up. You can't find it on the Samsung phones when you look it up. And then I looked up emergency intercom. You can't even just look up emergency intercom. And then I went through the YouTube page and I couldn't find it until I clicked someone's re upload of your PowerPoint video that we did like years ago. And so then and there and the recommended was our channel. I clicked on the video. You can't fucking view it. And so I went to the channel and you can't fucking look at the channel. And it's because.
- [07:50]
B
It's because it's like a phone on the floor. So they don't want kids to have access to stuff. Damn, we're that bad.
- [07:56]
A
Yeah, look, I even like took a picture of it. You can go to the channel, but you can't fucking see the videos.
- [08:02]
B
Well, it's because we opened the episode with you saying, stop talking about my penis. Penis. Penis.
- [08:06]
A
Well, no, that's very valid. Stop fucking talking about my dick and balls that hang between my fucking legs. Ew. My massive dick and balls. Might I add big.
- [08:16]
B
I seriously, like, hate that you have those body parts. Like, I can't stress that enough.
- [08:21]
A
I hate that you have a vagina.
- [08:22]
B
I was going to say, when I was 14, somebody commented on the vine of me and my siblings in our bathing suits and said, damn, she's packing about me. So.
- [08:32]
A
Well, you reclaimed. They called my because you're hung big and yet has a hung coochie.
- [08:37]
B
Okay, we don't have to get into that. The older I got, I used to talk about it a lot. And then I realized, like, people will be perverts about anything. And that's like a huge topic to be pervy about. Like, they literally sell fake camel toes on Amazon. Like, you can buy underwear that has padding to give you like a huge camel toe. Because it's like a huge kink, people.
- [08:56]
A
Damn. See, that's that. I don't need to buy like that because just like anything I wear, you can just see.
- [09:02]
B
You should probably buy something to put your pants for when you do gray sweatpants challenge.
- [09:05]
A
Yeah, gray sweatpants challenge. I went into the. Nevermind, we won't get into that. But I looked like shit the day I went out, by the way. And then I ran into fucking Petra. And that was so embarrassing. And then on top of that, she asked like, oh, what are you picking up? And she probably thought I was like, gonna say like, oh my. Like depression meds. Or like, oh, like I'm getting Medicaid. Yeah, Percocet. Like something. Chill, bitch. I was picking up colonoscopy prep. Oh, like, oh my God, if that doesn't fucking work. I swear to God, y'all will never see me again because I'm gonna fucking kill myself. I'm gonna kill myself.
- [09:43]
B
So, yeah, to be clear, Drew, read to the doctor. And I know you guys are probably like, oh, my God. Like, you recorded the episode, the Halloween episode so long ago. We literally recorded the Halloween episode basically on Thursday. So it hasn't been that long. Drew went to the doctor and suck.
- [09:56]
A
My dick in balls. I can do whatever the fuck I want with my body.
- [09:58]
B
Drew, people just like you, they're worried.
- [10:01]
A
For you and your penis. They're making me fucking insecure recently. So chill out. Chill out.
- [10:06]
B
You guys keep talking about me positive about myself.
- [10:09]
A
Like, keep talking about me positively.
- [10:11]
B
You guys have been so, like, oh, my God, she's so hot. She's gorgeous. And I'm just like, oh, my God, stop.
- [10:16]
A
Yeah, I mean, no one's.
- [10:17]
B
No one's calling me funny.
- [10:20]
A
They're like, oh, Drew doesn't take care of himself. Oh, Drew is so annoying. Oh, Drew has an average penis. Oh, Drew's body is disgusting.
- [10:28]
B
Really bothered.
- [10:29]
A
You know what really bothered me was someone called my body disgusting.
- [10:32]
B
That's mean. Your body is hot.
- [10:33]
A
No, I have a disgusting body. I know. I have a disgusting body.
- [10:36]
B
That's not true. I would have sex with you. No, I wouldn't. But that's because you're. We don't have to get into that.
- [10:45]
A
I got cupping done, y'all. I got cupping done on my back, and no one warned me that it was literally the most painful thing I've ever had done to my body.
- [10:58]
B
And now I'm scared because I've always wanted cupping nuns. I'm like, oh, that sounds so nice. Like a. Like, just, like, a bit of pressure and like. Like, is in my head. There's, like, heat involved. And I think now they use this ones where, like, they put a fucking, like, thing to. And they're like a tire pump, and.
- [11:12]
A
They'Re like, yeah, it's for the people that don't know. Cupping is when you go to the masseuse and they fart in their hand and they cup it in your face like that. So you have to spin the parts.
- [11:24]
B
Yeah, it was weird bumps on your back.
- [11:26]
A
Yeah, because it's particles going into my fucking bloodstream. No, I. It's when they, like, put all those cups on your back, and then they basically give you giant fucking hickeys. But I didn't know it hurt as bad as it hurt. And I know you're probably like, oh, you're being such a little bitch. Like, it didn't hurt that bad. No, it literally hurt because one, she, like, suctioned them, like, way too much. I think it might have been her first fucking time doing it. Two, she left it on parlor we.
- [11:58]
B
Go to is, like, pretty janky.
- [12:00]
A
It's busted as fuck. No offense.
- [12:03]
B
I love it there. And I always go. But, like, I've had, like, people who give me massages there who are literally just like this. Like.
- [12:12]
A
No, they, like, pet you. I had a massage done there one time where they, like, literally were doing construction above my head and the ceiling was putting dust all over my back. And when I flipped over and looked up, dust was falling into my eyes because people were doing construction upstairs during my peaceful massage.
- [12:30]
B
So I've been there before getting a massage, and one of the workers was in the room next door watching, like, tela novellas on their phone, loud as fuck. So the whole time I was getting the massage, all I heard was like, like. Like, literally, like, it was, like, silly show. And I was like, cool, cool. Okay, I'm not relaxed.
- [12:52]
A
That's Captain Cooked.
- [12:55]
B
Arg.
- [12:55]
A
I'm Captain Cooked.
- [12:57]
B
Ew, I hate that Arg.
- [12:59]
A
I'm Captain Cook.
- [13:00]
B
Why did they make that the sound for pirates? Like, what the does that have to.
- [13:04]
A
Do with Arg, me matey? Oh, what is it?
- [13:07]
B
I don't know.
- [13:08]
A
Look that up while I finish telling this, because I didn't. One, she sucked the out of my back. Two, she left them on for, like, 25 minutes, which is far too long. And I swear to God, like, when she was, like, taking them off by the end because she did half of my massage first, then she put them on, and then she just left the room for a little bit. And it hurt so bad. I, like, had tears, like, forming in my eyes. And then she started taking them off 20 minutes later, and she got one off, and then she moved to the second one and she tried to get it off, and she shook it a little bit and it wouldn't fucking come off. And I wanted them off so bad at that point. And I started, like, internally panicking. And then she couldn't get it off, and she left the room for, like, three minutes. It felt like my skin was, like, ripping, and it hurt so bad. And then she started taking them off, and, like, there were, like, four specifically that were hurting me so bad. She left those ones for last for some reason, and I was like. I almost was like, hey, can you get this one off? And then, like. But every time I Moved it, like, ripped my skin a little more. It was so miserable.
- [14:20]
B
I'm really curious. I want to go to a different spot and get cupping and see if that's how it's supposed to be. But I feel like there has to be one of y'all out there who's, like, a cupping fanatic who could tell us if that's how that's supposed to feel. But I feel like we would know. Like.
- [14:34]
A
Like, it shouldn't hurt. Yeah. Like, I mean, afterwards, like, let me finish. So I, like. She starts, like, wiping my back down, and I guess there was liquid coming out of my back because the rag was literally, like, neon pink, which was crazy. And she just laid it next to me, and I was like, what the just happened? And I swear to God, y'all, my back was like. Like, I. I thought it would help with my back pain because my lower back hurts all the time, like, 24 7. Literally just like, a dull pain. And then, like, when I walk around a lot, like, my left leg hurts really bad. And that was happening recently because we, like, went to, like, Halloween. So I was like, oh, maybe this will help out a little bit. Yeah, maybe this will help out a little bit for me. Or maybe this will help me out a little bit, y'all. It made my back pain so much worse. Like, literally did not help me at all. It felt like I had fucking bruises all over my. All over my back, because I literally did. I'm going to insert the picture right here.
- [15:36]
B
Like, that was the craziest thing. She went down to his butt crack. Like, you had one straight on, like, half your crack. I was like, damn. She was. She was trying to suck the poop out.
- [15:45]
A
No, she was really trying.
- [15:46]
B
She was like, this man's constipated. I'm going to suck.
- [15:48]
A
No, I had to warn her. I was like, by the way, I'm, like, really constipated. Like, please don't. If you, like, touch my stomach, don't go hard, because I don't want you to perforate my colon.
- [15:56]
B
I swear to God, she's gonna do, like, a zip popping video, but with your colon.
- [16:01]
A
Yeah, but that picture is gnarly. It's really fucked up.
- [16:06]
B
I know. Are you gonna, like, blur your butt crack or just show the world your crack?
- [16:11]
A
I'm gonna, like, crop it out.
- [16:13]
B
Oh, yeah, that sucks. I wish you guys could see his butt crack.
- [16:17]
A
No, because they'd probably think people actually. I might not even fucking put that picture up because someone's gonna have some fucking shit to say about my nasty, fucking gross body.
- [16:25]
B
No, no, no.
- [16:28]
A
Apparently.
- [16:30]
B
Well, I found a guy on TikTok whose whole thing is like this. That's crazy. It's so dark. Did you look up, like, pictures to see how dark the cupping spots were supposed to be when you finished?
- [16:44]
A
No, I didn't.
- [16:45]
B
He probably should have. Because I wonder if, like, what if that is. But there's. I'm sorry. Actually, no, there's just no way. It feels like that. I feel like people would be, like, just got copied. No. And I'm in so much pain. Like, people are.
- [16:55]
A
No, I was.
- [16:56]
B
I'm so relaxed.
- [16:57]
A
Definitely being a. Like, it definitely is not that bad. It's not as bad as I make it sound, genuinely. But it hurt me.
- [17:04]
B
Also, pirates didn't really say arc. Like, they don't know that. Some was just, like. It literally became popular in a random film. It became popular in the film Treasure island in 1950. But nobody knows why the he did that. He just took his own. It's kind of like with her. Like, no one knows why they were singing. They kind of just decided to sing. But I found a guy on TikTok whose whole thing is, like, this really stupid trick where it looks like he takes his torso off and, like, walks.
- [17:37]
A
Oh, I saw that.
- [17:38]
B
That's his. Do you go through his page? That's his whole gag. That's literally his whole page. And what was he doing? I think he was at.
- [17:46]
A
Like, I just saw him walking down the street and he did it.
- [17:50]
B
I saw a video where he was doing some shit. Like, it was like a paid promotion and, like, he was like, the act for some show. It was like the opening of a basketball game or it was something like that. Like, some big event. He was there, he did his trick. And I was like, okay, weird. Like, I wonder if he got paid to go and do that. Like, what else does he do? And I went through his page. That is quite literally all he does. And once I find a page like that on TikTok where there's somebody who's, like, super popular, it's like Zach King. Is that the guy's name? The magician? Once you're down.
- [18:22]
A
Video editor.
- [18:23]
B
Yeah. Or what?
- [18:25]
A
He's not a he.
- [18:26]
B
Like, not a magician.
- [18:27]
A
He's a. He's a video editor. Like.
- [18:30]
B
Like, I'm sorry. Once you are posting TikToks via a DSLR, it's time to pack it.
- [18:35]
A
I know.
- [18:35]
B
Like, I can't.
- [18:36]
A
We don't need to see those pores. We really don't need to see those pores.
- [18:39]
B
I don't want to see this sharp ass video on my iPhone. I'm supposed to see like degenerate like stupid comedic videos that were supposed to be your phone.
- [18:47]
A
Yeah, exactly. Your phone is taken out of your pocket, you record the video and you upload it. Like that's what I want to see.
- [18:53]
B
That's the magic of Tick Tock. It's like on vine when people started doing that on Vine. Do you remember at the end people would start uploading DSLR content and it just made no sense. Like 8k video, 8k video on Vine.
- [19:05]
A
They've been doing that on TikTok recently. Like 160 frame video or whatever frame per second video. And it crashes iPhones. Have you, did you ever get that? Yeah, they like there's like videos that they uploaded on Tick Tock that only androids could.
- [19:18]
B
We haven't had the text that crashes iPhone in a while. Like has iPhone just fixed their shit that you can't just crash someone's phone like that anymore because remember that text that would literally just turn your fucking phone off?
- [19:29]
A
Yeah, we made need to make that the title of this episode because the word or no, the text, the text.
- [19:36]
B
Because it was literally just like a bunch of symbols.
- [19:37]
A
It looked like star. Like a shooting star. Yeah, they. I think they patched that like almost immediately. But that shit was so fucking fun.
- [19:45]
B
I had so much mass texting people.
- [19:47]
A
Could you like tweet it and then like crash everybody's phone?
- [19:50]
B
I think that was the thing because I got mine from Twitter. Like somebody had uploaded it to Twitter and that's how I found it. And I copy and pasted it from there and started texting it around and I literally sent it to easily like 20 people in my fucking iPhone. I was like, I'm literally turning all of yalls phones off, especially people who weren't texting me back. I sent the fuck out of that shit. Like if you weren't texting me back, I was sending that to your phone.
- [20:10]
A
Get crashed, bitch. Oh, literally the iPhones be like crash out. I'm having a crash out the iPhones after getting that text. Oh, I'm crashing out. Damn, damn, I forgot. Damn, I forgot. Damn, I forgot. Damn, I'm crashing out.
- [20:27]
B
Wait, what is that? What were they asking her?
- [20:30]
A
How many, how many equal sides does an eye sauce of these triangles have? None.
- [20:35]
B
How many corners does it have?
- [20:37]
A
No, it was how many sides? Yeah, equal sides. And she was like none. And then they were damn, I forgot when she said three.
- [20:48]
B
Honestly I really can't get on her because. What is it? Two? Is it two? I can't. I don't even know. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's the two. Like, top one. The bottom one is different. Okay, but you scared the fuck out of me. Because we just. We just presented isosceles triangles recently. If you're a constant watcher, a consecutive watcher.
- [21:09]
A
I can't remember what I did, but I'm killing isosceles triangles now.
- [21:13]
B
You're killing them? Yeah, because it was marry kill. But I don't remember my answers. Oh, I said I was gonna kill the perfect triangle. What's it called?
- [21:20]
A
Equilateral.
- [21:20]
B
Yeah, I was gonna kill that.
- [21:22]
A
That's. That is odd behavior because I'm marrying the equilateral triangle.
- [21:25]
B
We don't have to get back into it. Like you're. But that's your choice. You do what you want, I do what I want.
- [21:31]
A
What's the one that's not ISOs? ISOsceles. Equilateral. And then.
- [21:38]
B
You don't look at me. I don't know.
- [21:41]
A
I'm trying to think of it.
- [21:42]
B
Damn, I forgot.
- [21:43]
A
Damn, I forgot. Damn, I forgot. This episode of Emergency Intercom is brought to you by Shopify, y'all. It's that time of year. You know how hectic it can get owning a business. It is the holidays, and people are buying things. And I think you as a business owner need to be prepared properly. So the whole thing goes seamlessly, y'all. And that's where Shopify comes in. Nobody does it better than Shopify. Shopify is the number one checkout on the planet, and the not so secret secret with shop pay that boosts conversions by up to 50%, meaning way less abandoned carts and more sales going up. Shopify has changed the way we sell our merch, period. It has made the whole process so easy, so seamless, and it's changed our entire lives, quite literally. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout Aviator Nation uses. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com/intercom all lowercase. Go to shopify.comintercom to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.comintercom.
- [23:02]
B
Meaningless stuff. Why do we gift so much meaningless stuff? Tired of generic gifts and hollow trends, Shutterfly allows you to create meaningful photo gifs for your family and friends. Whether it's a cozy fleece blanket for grandma, a stunning canvas print for mom, or a mug to make dad smile. Enjoy. 40% off with code. Make 40@shutterfly.com and make something meaningful this year. See site for more details. Well, I had a crazy migraine all day and I laid down to take a nap and I immediately knocked out and I woke up. The least, like, gracious wake up ever. I was drenched in sweat, laying on my stomach and I woke up like, and I like, literally made a sound. My God, me, last night, I. I was like, oh, my God. And then I woke up and it was dark. And there is something so jarring about going to sleep when it is bright as fuck outside and waking up to darkness. Like, it just. Just like a sad sadness. Yeah, it's like sadness creeps over me and I'm like, I am such a piece of shit.
- [24:05]
A
It's like, I can't believe I did this. Like, I can't believe I shouldn't be doing this. We should not be doing this. Yeah. Napping, I think, is simultaneously the greatest thing and the worst thing you can do.
- [24:18]
B
Because I genuinely hate naps.
- [24:20]
A
Yeah. I mean, I love naps and I've been trying recently not to take as many naps because, like, I feel disgusting with my. Disgusted with myself after I wake up. But when I sleep for, like, I only take, like, I try to take like 26 minute naps. Like, that's like the sweet spot scientifically. Whatever, it doesn't fucking matter. But if I go past like 45 minutes. Oh, bitch. Like, I wake up with like a raging migraine. Like, I'm shaking and fatigued. Like, I literally feel like I have HIV or some. Like, it's literally like, like all of the same symptoms. Like, I get fever. I feel like I have the flu. Like, oh my God, it's horrible. But that sweet spot, I like, if I Like when we go out and I take my quick little power nap before, like, oh, I feel like a brand new purse.
- [25:10]
B
I feel like a brand new person. No, I can't do naps, like, because I just want to sleep through the night. I genuinely, I am somebody who I can sleep for fucking ever. And I don't do well. I don't bode well with the short naps because I shout out Bodhi.
- [25:26]
A
Yeah, shout out Bodie. I don't bode well. Shout out Bodie. Yeah.
- [25:31]
B
But I fucking hate a short nap. It pisses me off.
- [25:34]
A
I hate a short king. I literally just hate a short king.
- [25:38]
B
I feel like we have a lot of short. Like the men who do brave it out. And listen to this. I feel like our short king.
- [25:44]
A
No, see, I'm thinking them in that. Brave it. Oh, like the straight Men? Yeah, listen, they're all tall.
- [25:50]
B
Like, yeah, all the. All the gay guys who listen. Tall.
- [25:53]
A
Actually, I take back the twink comment. I don't think y'all are twinks. Unless you want to be. And then you can live that life. You can choose to live that life.
- [26:01]
B
You can be that.
- [26:03]
A
But, like, do you literally do fucking.
- [26:07]
B
Drew.
- [26:07]
A
You Drew, you. Speaking of Drew, you bitch. Okay, so Addison just released Aquamarine. We don't have to get into it. It's Monday. This is going up on Friday. You've already heard all the conversations about it. Masterpiece of a song, I fear. She. I mean, been claiming it. She's the next pop girl. She's gonna have her moment, but I don't think she's gonna be, like, thrusted into, like, pop star status like an Ariana Grande or Olivia Rodrigo just yet. Eventually, it will be a thing, but it's gonna take some time to get there. Cause she still has to, like, convince people that she's not the old Addison and she's like, this new perceived or new woman to be perceived. But in that song, I don't know if you heard it, but she texted me afterwards, and she was like, by the way, made this for you. I was like, made what? And she was like, make a tick tock to it. And I was like, what the. And she was like, oh, you haven't heard the song yet. I was like, no, listen to it. When she said, when? I'll just play it for you. I'll just play it for you. You're gonna be gagged. Because I didn't realize it either.
- [27:10]
B
Like, what? I'm confused, because I've heard the song. I've actually heard it a lot.
- [27:14]
A
I've been saving on to this.
- [27:16]
B
It's coming me when I'm talking about.
- [27:20]
A
Christ, give me Drew. Gave me true Drew.
- [27:30]
B
She's not saying. She's saying more like. It's literally like. I think you're having, like, the schizophrenia Disney adults have when they see the hidden Mickey's. You're seeing hidden Drews now?
- [27:40]
A
No, Lana. Lana also did it. Lana also said my name. I mean, no, no, Lana said my name.
- [27:47]
B
I'll give it to you. A lot of people say your name. It's very common. But give me truth. Like, that's the biggest stretch of that joke you've ever done. When I saw you write that, like, when I saw that you had that written, I was like, what does that mean? I thought there was a part of the song where she actually at least sounded like it, because Drew, let's.
- [28:06]
A
Oh, I also forgot to mention that I was wearing this today because we did a very special interview that I was really excited for that I wanted to dress dapper, and I did not want to change before the podcast, but I did bring that up in the.
- [28:18]
B
Interview, and the person who was interviewing us was like, what?
- [28:22]
A
What?
- [28:26]
B
Well, I got into funny road rage. I took my friend to the airport today. Oh, the attack challenge.
- [28:42]
A
Yeah. Everybody owes. Oh, my God. I just went to fucking, like, push my hair back, and my finger went all the way up my goddamn nose. I hope you could see that. I think I, like, literally have a bloody nose.
- [28:56]
B
I've never had a bloody nose, which I hate. Like, I want a bloody nose.
- [29:00]
A
Let's just go do a bunch of blow. Let's get you fucked up.
- [29:04]
B
I didn't even think about that. That is, like, such an easy way to get that.
- [29:07]
A
Yeah. No, I used to have them really, really fucking bad when I was a kid. Like, wake up.
- [29:11]
B
Doing blow when you were a child?
- [29:13]
A
Yeah, when I was 12. I fucking rage. I went crazy, y'all.
- [29:17]
B
Like, we're hitting the slopes.
- [29:20]
A
She's a snow queen from Dallas.
- [29:25]
B
How do you make your tongue so skinny when you do that?
- [29:28]
A
They can't see.
- [29:34]
B
It. Like, looks fake. Well, I got into crazy road rage at the airport today. I was, like, going to pull in, and I couldn't tell if this woman.
- [29:46]
A
What were they driving?
- [29:47]
B
They were driving, like, a smaller Audi.
- [29:49]
A
Do you get the license plate?
- [29:50]
B
No.
- [29:51]
A
Okay. Because I was gonna say I can go kill them for you.
- [29:53]
B
Oh, thank you.
- [29:54]
A
Was it a girl or a guy?
- [29:55]
B
It was an old white lady.
- [29:57]
A
Okay. I'm gonna kill her.
- [29:58]
B
True.
- [29:59]
A
I'm gonna kill the next old white lady I see.
- [30:01]
B
Oh, thank you. That, like, actually means so much to me.
- [30:04]
A
Yeah. Also, do you still have a headache?
- [30:06]
B
Yes.
- [30:07]
A
Listen here. Enya's brain, My best friend, my lover's brain. If you don't fucking stop hurting my friend, I'm gonna get really angry, and I'm gonna take you out of there and shake you up and make a brain slushie. Stop fucking hurting my friend. Did it feel better?
- [30:32]
B
I was disassociating a bit, so when I was disappointed. Disassociating, yes, it did feel better. I actually might have made it worse because you were yelling into my ear.
- [30:40]
A
Here, in his ear, in his ears. Stop hurting my friend.
- [30:50]
B
But I got into crazy road rage. I was, like, pulling up, trying to get to the curb, and this woman. I couldn't or not, and I wasn't even. Like, I hadn't blocked her in or anything yet. I was being mindful. I was being very mindful of other drivers. And I was like, okay, I'm not gonna lock her in. But she did some. That pissed me off, technically. I guess I started this, and this is very immature of me, but I was not having it. But she turned to me and, like, I hadn't moved my car. I hadn't blocked her in, but she turned to me and she goes. And, like, starts yelling at me.
- [31:32]
A
Oh, my window.
- [31:34]
B
She's like, hello. Like, I can only imagine this is what she was saying because I was trying to read her list, but she was like, hello. Like, I need to leave. I need to leave.
- [31:44]
A
If you don't chill the out.
- [31:46]
B
So I laid on my horn, which I hate when people do. But I like, I just, like, literally I was holding my steering wheel like this. And my immediate reaction to her yelling at me is I started laughing. And then I went beep. And I honked at her. And she was like. And then she, like, hit the horn back, and I was like, I, like, hit it a few times and I was laughing really hard. She was like. And, like, opened her door.
- [32:11]
A
That face you make is so funny, though, dude.
- [32:16]
B
That's what she was doing. Just like. She's like. Like, just so, like, shocked. Like, her jowls hit her knees. Like she was pissed at me.
- [32:26]
A
And she.
- [32:28]
B
I was like, oh, you. I don't. I don't do your.
- [32:32]
A
Three more days left to live.
- [32:33]
B
She opened her door and was about to get out of the car, and she's looking at me and she's getting out of the car to, I guess come up to me. And then I started laughing really hard and my friends in the passenger seat just laughing at her too. So then I was like. I saw me here and I, like, was like, going like this to her. And she was like, like, literally, verbally, like, screamed like that. And then got back in her car and looked at me and moved up to, like, block me. So then she moved her car in front of me and blocked me. And then she honks.
- [33:05]
A
She really had places to go, but she really needed was wasting her time.
- [33:09]
B
But she up because she, like, parked right in front of me to block me off. At this point, everyone's watching and I'm laughing. And usually when stuff like that happens and people are watching, I'm like, this is kind of embarrassing. But I was like, honestly, she started it. And you're old and haggerty, bitch. Choose your battles. Because you don't have much stamina left in this lifetime. And she parked her car right in front of me so that, like, I was like, this is dumb as. Cause I'm about to blow your ears out. And I just literally boo. And she was like, like, literally so funny. And then I was like. I was like. Started kissing, like. Like blowing kisses. And then she was trying to match my energy and she was like. And, like, started. And I was dying laughing.
- [33:51]
A
She could not match your freak. And then that's for damn sure.
- [33:55]
B
She.
- [33:56]
A
Did you hear that? That reference? Yeah, she couldn't match your freak at all. I couldn't match her freak a little bit.
- [34:03]
B
Drove off embarrassed. And then when I got out, I was like, laughing and helping my friend get their bags out of my car, and I was like, I'm so sorry I just did that in front of you. Like, that's so annoying. And we were cracking up. We were like, no, it's funny. And then this younger duo who was behind us, like, this guy came up and he was like, that lady, she was being such a bitch to you. And I was like, thank you. I'm glad someone else saw.
- [34:23]
A
And all women are bitches.
- [34:25]
B
Exactly. That's why we need a podcast.
- [34:28]
A
Yeah, exactly. Okay, should we have a fake podcast conversation where we're, like, acting like straight male podcasters? I mean, that's very easy for me because that's what I. Okay, so. Oh, wait, I literally just sounded gay and was playing with my hair, so.
- [34:47]
B
Okay, let's talk like straight guys. So wait, what was the chat GBT say to us?
- [34:54]
A
Like, the gaggery of it all when.
- [34:55]
B
You'Re ready to spill your tea. Yeah, I was hooking up with this fucking nasty bitch with huge fucking tits.
- [35:03]
A
And how big were the tits?
- [35:04]
B
Dude, they were almost too big. And I love big tits. Like, I would love.
- [35:08]
A
Are you a tits guy or a boob guy?
- [35:11]
B
Honestly.
- [35:11]
A
Or a tits or butt guy?
- [35:12]
B
I'm like kind of a. Like. Like I'm a bit of both. Like. Like both need to be perfect.
- [35:18]
A
Really? Yeah, I'm more of a personality guy. No, I'm more of a tits guy myself.
- [35:26]
B
Oh, okay. Cool. Cool. My vibe.
- [35:28]
A
And when there's hairs, I pull them out one by one until I find a nerve ending. And then I rip out the nerve ending.
- [35:35]
B
Oh, my God.
- [35:37]
A
Literally, like, it sends electric shocks through their body.
- [35:41]
B
No, because you know why? That just freaked me out. It reminded me. Remember when I was convinced for one single day and I did nothing about it, that I had breast cancer? This is kind of gross.
- [35:49]
A
Well, actually, it's literally because every time. It's like clockwork. I have in his period, like, down like clockwork.
- [35:55]
B
I know.
- [35:56]
A
I mean, I don't have to talk about your period, but India, before her period, every single time, thinks she has.
- [36:01]
B
Breast cancer because my boobs just hurt so bad, and I'm like, this pain. This pain is not normal. But I will be going and getting a mammogram because I. I decided that I need to take that part of my health very seriously. And I need to go get my pap smears, and I need to get a mammogram. And I need to say, I always.
- [36:14]
A
Thought pap smears were the mammogram. No, pap smears are.
- [36:18]
B
They literally put a. A wrench in your. And stick a cotton floor up there and they're like. It's like, they literally treat your like a cotton. Like, they go in there and they're.
- [36:28]
A
Like, let's get the slime.
- [36:31]
B
Slime collector simulator.
- [36:33]
A
Yeah. Let's get the discharge. Let's. Oh. Every time they go up in a girl, it's like a blind box because it's like, what colors gonna be?
- [36:45]
B
And the mystery. You always want the mystery one. The mystery one is green gunk.
- [36:50]
A
And scene.
- [36:52]
B
Oh, was that us talking like straight guys. Oh. But I don't think I've talked about this on the podcast, but now that enough time has passed, I think I can say it one time. This is gross. One time I had an infected hair follicle on my nipple, and it literally squirted out so much pus. And I thought it was a nerve ending coming out of my boob. And I sat. I remember in the gym having a true panic attack. Like, panic attacks for me are rare. But I was in the bathroom on the floor, literally, just like, I felt that, like, dull pain hit my chest. And then I was taking a shower, and I was like, I couldn't breathe in the shower. And I was just like, oh, my God. And that's how I know I'm a pussy and all my suicidal ideation is fake. In that moment, I was like, I'm going to die. I can't believe I'm going to die. But that's different because I'm just going to die. I want to die in a spectacular way, and it's going to be by my own hand. I'm not kidding, Jazz hands. I'm going to do my death big. It's going to be big.
- [37:49]
A
It's going to be a big Moment. Like, it really, it really is.
- [37:51]
B
If I live to like 75, 80, and I'm just like, honestly, I'm done. I'm either going to like smoke heroin till I die, but then I was thinking about that and I was like, that's embarrassing. Because, like, smoking heroin, what is like.
- [38:03]
A
A spectacular way to die?
- [38:04]
B
I was thinking I'd blow myself up like a Mr. Beast video with fireworks included and then give away all the money inside of.
- [38:10]
A
A red Ferrari and it'd be behind.
- [38:12]
B
A Patreon paywall that all the money gets donated to like a cause that I like, feel for.
- [38:18]
A
I'm trying to think.
- [38:19]
B
And I won't be having kids give.
- [38:20]
A
Girls more boob jobs.
- [38:22]
B
Yes. It'd probably go to Yalls kids, like, or like spread between Yalls kids and my family. I'm talking about that. Like, I can literally do that. And you, like, legally I couldn't do.
- [38:31]
A
No. Like, every time I get on an airplane, I fantasize about it crashing. Nevermind. And thinking about like, oh, no. Thinking about me dying. And how many people would talk about me after I die. But then I sober up and I'm like, oh, wait, I wouldn't know that.
- [38:50]
B
I don't get to read, girl.
- [38:51]
A
I'm trending. I know for a fact, for at least 20 minutes I'm trending number one on top.
- [38:56]
B
You better pray to God the Super bowl isn't happening at that time. There's not like a halftime show or.
- [39:02]
A
Fucking like someone died.
- [39:04]
B
You better pray to God Addison Rae doesn't release another single when you die.
- [39:08]
A
I know it's over. It's Captain cooked. Captain cooked for me. But wait, wait, wait. What were you saying? Oh, panic attacks, y'all. I've been doing this thing. I'm tired of fucking panic attacks.
- [39:18]
B
Wait, what is it? It's like I'm paralyzed. I'm paralyzed. I'm paralyzed.
- [39:21]
A
I'm paralyzed. I'm paralyzed. I'm paralyzed. I'm paralyzed. No, guys, seriously. I was paralyzed. I was just paralyzed. Guys.
- [39:25]
B
No, seriously.
- [39:27]
A
But last night, and you came home late and I had fallen asleep before she had gotten back, and I did this. I've been doing this thing like in the last like two years where like I wake up in the middle of the night, like completely no reason why, with my heart just like pounding. And I did that last night and I proceeded to have like a gnarly, gnarly panic attack. Like a 16 year old drew panic attack. I don't know if y'all know this, but when I was 16. I was having, like, the worst panic attacks, anxiety in my life. Like, it was horrible Rans. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. But if you're dealing with that right now, just know soon you'll be a podcaster. Soon you'll. Soon you'll become a podcaster.
- [40:12]
B
If somebody suffers from, like, a panic disorder, that might make it worse.
- [40:18]
A
But I did it last night, like, and you came home, like, scared me awake. And then, like, I wasn't upset with Anya, but for some reason, I was just, like, viscerally angry. Like, I wasn't angry at anything, but I just had anger flowing through my body. It was, like, really crazy vibes.
- [40:36]
B
Well, I have hormones running through my body that make me want to have sex with you.
- [40:42]
A
Oh, meow, meow. No, that part for real.
- [40:55]
B
Dude, I am so sad. Drew's going to Texas tomorrow, and, like, we've been so busy that we haven't had a proper day of sitting on the. Actually, that is literally a lie. We, like, three times we watched a whole season of Nurse Jackie this week.
- [41:09]
A
But that's, like, work, though.
- [41:11]
B
I know.
- [41:11]
A
It really is.
- [41:13]
B
I was making the props for the podcast while we were doing doing that, so it doesn't count. Like, I want to just sit on the couch and get nasty and stinky.
- [41:19]
A
Yeah.
- [41:20]
B
Watch TV with you. But you're leaving.
- [41:23]
A
I know you don't miss me until I'm gone.
- [41:26]
B
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.
- [41:28]
A
No, that's literally. See, listen up, y'all. Y'all are all gonna miss me when I'm gone, and you're gonna not make fun of my nasty, gross body. Okay.
- [41:38]
B
I want a few more edits of me. Like, I've seen good edits, but, like, I need, like, a good edit. But I'll get you all the content for that. I don't think I've been getting them enough. Enough content. Let me know if you guys think I'm lacking on the content of me being beautiful. Because, like, I know the editors are looking for a specific vibe.
- [41:54]
A
They're going to clip that and make an edit out of me rolling my eyes.
- [41:59]
B
Us, like, clip farming. So let me all want to be edited.
- [42:03]
A
Let me try to get, like, an in your edit. Ah, no, I'm not going to be able to channel it right now.
- [42:10]
B
Wait, what do you mean? Like, angry?
- [42:12]
A
No, no, like, like. And, like, if a man is there, I'm gonna fucking kill him with my bare fucking hands.
- [42:26]
B
This episode is brought to you by Etsy. Oh, hear that. Okay. Thank you. Etsy knows these aren't the sounds of holiday gifting. Well, not the ones you're hoping for. You want squeals of delight? Happy tears? How did you. And spontaneously written songs of joy.
- [42:47]
A
I am so happy. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
- [42:51]
B
Um, okay, the song needs a bit of work, but anyway, to get those reactions, make sure everyone on your list feels heard with handmade, handpicked and designed gifts from small shops on Etsy. Gifts like personalized jewelry, custom artwork, cozy style items, vintage pieces, and home decor to celebrate all of your favorite people and their specific kind of special. For original gifs that say I get you, Etsy has it way to eat a tea. You listening to an app at PC Game Pass? Want new games on day one? Like Indiana Jones and the Great Circle? How about living out your SIMS Life with EA Play? We talking high quality PC games all for one low monthly price? We got you. Learn more at Xbox.com PCGame Pass or click the banner Indiana Jones and the Great Circle. Available December 9, 2024. Game catalog varies by region and over time. Okay, that's the ad. You can go back to doing whatever you were doing now.
- [43:49]
A
This episode is brought to you by Opill, the first over the counter daily birth control pill available in the U.S. opill is FDA approved, full prescription strength and estrogen free. Plus there's no prescription needed. Finally, the days of needing a prescription.
- [44:03]
B
For birth control are over. Opill is available online and at most major retailers.
- [44:08]
A
Take control control of your health and reproductive journey with Opel birth control in your control use code birth control for 25 off your first month of opel@opel.com.
- [44:25]
B
Honestly, I'm glad that's. Oh, what was that last one? The last one looked like you were drunk and about to throw up.
- [44:33]
A
Now Velocity edit that. Oh, it's gonna eat. I can see it now.
- [44:38]
B
I can picture it now. I'm glad that people will always identify my voice with like the voice of hating men. That makes me happy.
- [44:48]
A
It's a voice of reason, truly.
- [44:51]
B
But I do love men. There are men in my life who I do love. I want to make that very poor men. There's like five. Like, will I ever be procreating with a man? Hell, the no. Not gonna happen.
- [45:08]
A
Not on. And especially not on my watch.
- [45:11]
B
Like, I'm sorry, I. I won't get into it because I talk about it so often, but like, having kids and getting married to me is a death sentence. Like, I'm not kidding. Like putting me in a situation where Like, I would. I'll date a man. Like, whatever. Like, yeah, like, let's have fun. You want to fucking lock me and hold me hostage and make me bear children? You're a fucking killer pervert. You're literally the pervert. Fucking killer monster. Evil. Evil demon. Dark.
- [45:42]
A
Like, now serve. Now serve. No, like, give. Like, give.
- [45:48]
B
I, like, can't.
- [45:50]
A
You've done it enough this episode.
- [45:52]
B
But I actually. I unironically. Didn't mean to say that, but. But you can't bring that up to me because I really skip to thinking. I get to thinking it's literally a death sentence. Like, the idea of that feels like somebody's putting me in the thing where my head is through, like, the hole and everybody's watching me, like, about to get. Like, yeah. It's like. It might as well be a guillotine to me. It's like getting stoned in the town square. Well.
- [46:16]
A
Y'All, we did a thing. Like, we really. We really did a thing.
- [46:24]
B
Everybody will know.
- [46:26]
A
We finally met Trisha, and it was.
- [46:31]
B
It was amazing.
- [46:32]
A
It was.
- [46:32]
B
I was terrified of her.
- [46:34]
A
I was, like, shaking in my boots a little bit, but it was genuinely, like. Like, I was gooped and gagged. Like, I can't. I very rarely. Very rarely get gooped and gagged. Like, when Beyonce was, like, 16ft away from me. Like, I was gooped and gagged. Like, when Trisha Paytas hugged me, I was gooped and gagged.
- [46:53]
B
Like, I know. Also, like, it was. We did a shoot with Petra for her brand. I'm sorry. On essence. And Terry, she asked us to be a part of it, and it was Holly Madison, Cherry Jo and Trisha Paytas. And me and Drew were like, duh, we're going to be there. And I guess they hadn't told anybody else that we were going to be there. So Trisha, when she saw us, was like, oh. Oh, my God. Like, was so shocked, and so was Terry, and it was awesome. And it was such a fun shoe. And I had so much fun. I love Petra. I love. Everybody was there. Holly was so nice. And Trisha made fun of us.
- [47:33]
A
Yeah, she made fun of us right to our fucking face. No, no, it was literally.
- [47:38]
B
It was the most, like, it was.
- [47:40]
A
So funny, and I love it so much. I have it written down.
- [47:45]
B
We were talking to her about our Halloween cost.
- [47:48]
A
Yeah. And she was like, oh. Like, oh, you already did your Halloween costumes. And I was like, yeah, yeah. Like, here's a video of them. And it was like, the video India posted on her account. And like, it's the most obscure, like, esoteric niche Internet knowledge.
- [48:03]
B
Like, no sense. I don't even. I was, like, impressed by how many people interacted with that post. And I was like, it's kind of amazing that. That many people liked that fucking Tick tock. That many people don't know what the fuck.
- [48:15]
A
Yeah, they have no. They had no idea what the fuck was.
- [48:18]
B
They're looking at. They're looking at nonsense.
- [48:21]
A
And so, like, Trisha had, like, the normal reaction of just being like, oh. Like, she literally. She literally basically did like, oh, okay. Like that audio in real life. And she was like, huh. Like, you guys are, like, weird. But then she started laughing and she corrected herself, but, like, in a good way. In a good way. And I was like, no way. We're fudgeing.
- [48:46]
B
It's okay. You can say that. Like, it was just so sweet because I feel like she. She wasn't saying it to be mean. She's like, the sweetest person I've ever met. And. But me and Drew are just laughing so hard, and I think she thought we were making, like, she was making fun of us.
- [49:00]
A
It was a compliment.
- [49:01]
B
We literally did. We were like, thank you so much.
- [49:03]
A
Like, I genuinely don't know if there's anything that Trisha could say to me that would hurt my feelings.
- [49:08]
B
Yeah, she, like, I don't know.
- [49:09]
A
She was like, she's literally mothered.
- [49:11]
B
Yeah, she was just. Just so nice to us. And we got into a conversation about how she thought we were really funny. And we were like, that's so funny because we think you're funny. And she was like, oh, I don't really find myself to be funny. I don't think I'm a funny person, me. And you were like. You were literally tripping because you are so fucking funny. Like, there are a few people on this planet who are just to be born naturally funny. I feel like we're funny, but we definitely have to work on it. Like, we had to hone in on what makes us funny and we have to, like, think of, like, things to be funny. And she is just so naturally funny. It was so awesome. And we were just cracking up. Also, we sent. We sent the video in our group chat. And Christian goes, I'm genuinely so proud of you guys.
- [49:51]
A
Yeah. Yeah. Our friend Christian, like, we made a TikTok with Trisha.
- [49:57]
B
Yeah, Terry.
- [49:58]
A
And we sent it to our friends because we were like, oh, everybody's going to be gagged by this. And Christian was like, no, like, on a real note, like, I'M like, actually.
- [50:07]
B
So proud of you.
- [50:08]
A
Yeah. And it was, like, very sincere and real, and I was like, yeah, Honestly, like, this was a big moment. Like, legitimately, like a big moment. But, yeah, big things coming.
- [50:19]
B
Well, should we get. Shall we get into some media?
- [50:23]
A
Some media, yeah.
- [50:26]
B
Oh, my media of the week.
- [50:28]
A
Wait, before I have one. One psyop.
- [50:33]
B
Oh, yeah.
- [50:34]
A
Drew. Wait. Drew. Give me Drew S. I only have one. Funerals are way too expensive. Air fry my body when I die. Get all crispy.
- [50:57]
B
I just imagine your body, like, this big and crispy.
- [51:00]
A
Yeah. Like when you put a chip bag in the microwave and it, like, shrinks. That's what happens to my body. And people, like, will run a knife over my body to show how crispy my skin got.
- [51:08]
B
Oh, actually, I want to talk about this, because we were talking about our friends with this, and specifically Josiah was like, no, no, no. That's awful. But I was saying, okay. Actually, no, now I feel like people are going to make fun of me because I was saying I love Azul so much that, like, part of me does want to get him taxidermied when he dies. And I think that is a very, very polariz. People are, like, very. Like, it's. It's just polarizing. You're either super down for it, or you think it's disgusting.
- [51:34]
A
Horrifying.
- [51:36]
B
But I really either want to do that, or I would get his little paw.
- [51:39]
A
And I want a paw because I.
- [51:42]
B
Love him so much. Oh, I love it also, like, y'all can't even get on me because I have a box of cat dust and some of my other cat's hair just sitting around. How uneventful. Like, that does it. Cat dust. Like, I can't. Like, I can't look at it and be like, oh, like, she looks my little. My little Eddie. Like, it's a bowl of ash, and.
- [52:07]
A
It could very well, like, just be dust they collected from the place.
- [52:10]
B
No, it literally could be, like, also, I don't believe that they're, like, turning my cat to ash in a new container. They're probably burning a bunch of them and being like, here's a little bit for this. Here's a little bit for this.
- [52:22]
A
You got, like, 14 cats.
- [52:23]
B
Yeah, I got, like. Like, somebody else.
- [52:24]
A
You got a tabby. Yeah. You got.
- [52:26]
B
I got a coyote in there for sure. Like, I got random. I probably got dogs in there. But yeah, let me know what y'all think. Actually, don't.
- [52:35]
A
Y'all are also. I need to make it very clear you're allowed to talk about me, but not in a way that hurts my feelings.
- [52:42]
B
You're having a. This is your proof that you haven't been in a romantic relationship because you haven't thought about how you're going to communicate with them yet. Like, you haven't thought through your emotions and then brought it to them.
- [52:51]
A
Yeah, I did. So you're giving them mixed.
- [52:52]
B
Yeah, you're giving them mixed emotions. You're being mean to them. Like, guys.
- [52:56]
A
Well, they were mean to me first.
- [52:58]
B
Okay, guys, seriously, be nice. Like, it. It just.
- [53:00]
A
Thank you.
- [53:02]
B
Now you guys are okay. Now you guys have to go on a fancy date. You're paying.
- [53:07]
A
Are. Are we good? Everybody say we're good.
- [53:12]
B
I know there's at least one high out there who, like, accidentally said, we're good. We're good.
- [53:20]
A
I need a tick tock of you saying we're good.
- [53:23]
B
Actually, no, we need to, like, do. We'll. We'll write something out for the next episode. But I want to scare because I love the way y'all interact online for us because it adds to the lore of the podcast. So next episode, we'll script out a little thing where we're leaving gaps for y'all to respond. And I want y'all to record your screen and be talking to your computer.
- [53:43]
A
That's hilarious.
- [53:45]
B
So that other people who find it.
- [53:46]
A
Are like, wait, what is happening? How do they record this? That's actually so funny.
- [53:52]
B
And we'll. We'll, like, leave pockets. We'll. We'll make it an easy joke for you all to make.
- [53:56]
A
Or.
- [53:57]
B
Or we'll, like, write the joke for you so you guys can respond. And then it's even freakier because all of y'all are saying the same joke. Like, we'll make it work.
- [54:04]
A
We'll figure it out. But just be ready for that.
- [54:07]
B
My media of the week is. What's his name with Pierce Morgan?
- [54:14]
A
Oh, Hannibal Lecter Arm and Hammer.
- [54:17]
B
Yeah, Armin Army Hammer. Him trying to defend his weird ass life. You. Him being Pierce Morgan going, are you a cannibal? And him going, like, do you know what you have to do to be a cannibal?
- [54:30]
A
It's like my favorite line in people. You have to eat people. Me and India are going to recreate that word for word.
- [54:38]
B
Yeah. So stay tuned for that.
- [54:40]
A
My media of the week is the fact that the Mars rover has been on Mars for a fucking decade and has only traveled 20 miles. Bitch, what the fuck are you doing up there? Like, it actually pissed me off when I found that out. Like, Literally, we spent billions getting you up there and you're only going to walk fucking 20 miles or scoot around. Like, it's not even walking. It's like, like barely rolling.
- [55:07]
B
Is like the travel up there just like, lagged out? Why is it so little?
- [55:11]
A
I don't know. It like, literally pissed me off. I couldn't even read anymore about it. But I was like, are you kidding me? I thought it was like traversing the whole fucking planet. I guess naively, because it's only traveled like, like literally two miles a year. Two miles a year?
- [55:24]
B
I walk miles in a day.
- [55:26]
A
Yeah, I walk that in literally a day. Like, get a fucking grip.
- [55:30]
B
I do that at Disneyland.
- [55:31]
A
Also, why has Taylor Swift been on tour for literally three fucking years?
- [55:35]
B
She's like, Frankie Valley. She's gonna be Frankie Valley. Like, who the fuck made her sign what contract?
- [55:40]
A
I'm not hating at all. I just genuinely want to know, like, how the fuck does she do that?
- [55:46]
B
I hope she. She like performs until she's really old. Something about that is like kind of kind. When a girl does that, I'm like, purr. But it is crazy. Like, damn, she is big like that. Huh? My.
- [55:58]
A
Oh, I was going to say, but my real media is. I went and saw Megalopolis and that was the single greatest movie I've ever seen in my life. I think all the hate up for it is very unjust and unwarranted.
- [56:14]
B
A. You like it? Did you give it five stars?
- [56:16]
A
I'm a contrarian. Yeah. No, that was the best worst movie I've ever seen in my life. That was fucking horrible in every single.
- [56:23]
B
I want to see like the first hour of it. I don't need to commit anymore.
- [56:27]
A
Yeah, no, it was, it was rightfully made fun of into oblivion because there's like so many moments that I'm just like, actually what the fuck was going on? But I will say I left with a full heart because it just made me think about how in his head, like the. The idea behind the movie is like, this is like his legacy. This is what he wants to leave behind. This is like where he wants the world to end up. Like, it was really cute in that sense and like you could just feel and like, just like a bunch of like things that like an aging man, person in general like, goes through. And like, you can feel that in the movie, but yikes. Like, I heard like some horror stories on set. Like he would like be late to shooting because he was just like smoking hella weed in his trailer and then he'd stumble out and be like. Because he's like 400 years old directing a movie. Also, he sold his winery for it. Like, it's cute.
- [57:35]
B
Oh, that's kind of sad. But I guess he doesn't need it if he's, like, that old.
- [57:38]
A
No, he doesn't give a. He's. He just wanted this mate and he got it made. But he ruined independent filmmaking. No one's ever gonna trust anybody ever again.
- [57:50]
B
Well, my media of the week is Wichita 2 by Harper's Bazaar, Time by Culture Club and Crying in the Rain by Carole King. Such good songs. Time Won't give me time and Time.
- [58:07]
A
Makes Lovers Feel My media. My other media is bliss. Bay 8B I L S B A E number 8.
- [58:30]
B
I'm obsessed with people who, like, are so good at art in our community, putting time into that. Like, there is something so magical about it.
- [58:37]
A
No, it's really. It's truly, truly a beautiful thing. Oh, also, one last thing, and then we can for real go. But let me send this to Kai.
- [58:51]
B
Oh, yeah.
- [58:57]
A
Like.
- [58:59]
B
I do want to say. I feel like we don't talk about it often enough, but to end up.
- [59:04]
A
This episode, I want to say at Matt's Underscore Creations. Go check them out. Out.
- [59:10]
B
I do want to say you guys are awesome.
- [59:14]
A
And I talked about happy for literally an hour today in our interview. Like, we are so blessed, and I mean it to my core to have y'all.
- [59:28]
B
Like, you guys are so cool and you guys have such a deep understanding of just us, and it feels awesome. And I feel like we're so lucky and y'all are so creative and so good at all the art you make. Like, the amount of cool art I see come out of our community genuinely makes me feel like we got blessed with the masterminds. And then I'm like, of course. Of course you freaks are good at art.
- [59:52]
A
Like, it only makes sense, but literally, thank you, because it means a lot.
- [60:00]
B
I know when I see good art from you guys, like, it genuinely, the smile it puts on my face is unironically unreal. And thank you guys for continuing to listen for so long, because scan to the end of the year and all I can think about is, I can't believe y'all are still here. It's very unreal. But don't forget, I'd hit all of you in the face and within an instant.
- [60:23]
A
And don't talk about my body. And don't talk about my body.
- [60:25]
B
Oh, you thought. Oh, you thought I was being nice to you. You you freak bitch.
- [60:31]
A
Yup.
- [60:32]
B
Don't talk about my girl.
- [60:34]
A
Yeah.
- [60:35]
B
Because I fight.
- [60:36]
A
Yup.
- [60:37]
B
And I haven't fought in a really long time.
- [60:40]
A
No.
- [60:40]
B
So I'd probably get my ass beat.
- [60:42]
A
Nope.
- [60:42]
B
But I'd still fight.
- [60:44]
A
Yo.
- [60:44]
B
And I would lie if I lost.
- [60:46]
A
Yo.
- [60:46]
B
That's a. That's. I'm not even kidding. Like, I was sitting outside, like, in the middle of the night on the phone last night at like 3am sitting on the corner, and somebody was just walking by with headphones on. This, like, random girl. And I looked at her and she was like, on a midnight run. Which I was like, girl, you are so brave. This is dangerous. But then I convinced myself that she was crazy and she was gonna come over and beat the out of me. And I thought about it. I was like, would I go in there and lie and say I beat her ass? I was like, yes, the I would.
- [61:12]
A
But I just got in a fight and I got my rib. Her ass.
- [61:15]
B
Yeah. I fucking. I killed her ass. Like, she's out there dead on the floor.
- [61:18]
A
I think I would. I think it would be funny if I got my ass. Like, if I initiated. If I like, it would. It would match my energy so well, if I got beefed, I feel like.
- [61:26]
B
If I got beat up, it'd be like, oh, talking all that stuff.
- [61:28]
A
No, it wouldn't fucking win this. I wouldn't let you live it down. If I wife. I saw you get your ass beat in you, like, I'd make sure you were okay first. And then, like, after a couple weeks.
- [61:38]
B
I'd be like, I think that's what would push me to kill myself.
- [61:41]
A
You can't win in a fight.
- [61:43]
B
Thank you, guys for watching. See you next week.