You're allowed to smile and be happy you know that right

Summary

Emergency Intercom – “You’re allowed to smile and be happy you know that right” Podcast by iHeartPodcasts | Released: Feb 27, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips, along with their friends (including Josiah and Kai), bring their signature chaotic and irreverent humor to conversations about mental health, self-perception, nostalgia for old internet, the awkward joy of everyday life, and the importance of authenticity and gratitude. It's a whirlwind of jokes, confessions, playful roasting, and deeper reflections, interspersed with absurd anecdotes and candid talk about personal insecurities, social dynamics, and internet culture.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Vibes Check & iPad vs. MacBook (02:06–06:40)

• Enya (Inya) starts the show in a notably good mood, wishing Drew was more upbeat, joking about needing a "fairy godfather."
• Drew gets excited about the rumor of an upcoming touchscreen MacBook Pro, reigniting debates about the merits of iPads vs. MacBooks.
• The hosts mock the "Apple product hype" and their own tech obsessions (05:00).
• Group nostalgia about YouTube's early days, Ijustine, and discovering old web services like Digg before Reddit.

Notable Quote:
"No, I got my 20 year jacket. They gave us all jackets for being on YouTube for 20 years." – Drew (05:11)

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2. Group Bits, Roasts & Running Jokes (06:14–10:50)

• Roasting each other's physical looks (“built like a bus driver/fortnite bus/planet/solar system”).
• Sharing embarrassing or wild personal moments (e.g., accidental exposure stories, antidepressant talk, absurd party anecdotes).
• Spontaneous gratitude and affirmation: “I so unironically have been in such a grateful state for like the past year.” – Josiah (09:56).

Notable Quote:
"It's really all about smiling. Like, it really is. I'm not even kidding. It's like unconditional happiness. Like you're allowed to smile and be happy. You know that, right?" – Drew (10:02)

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3. Middle School Music Trauma & Recorders (10:59–12:21)

• Drew launches into a semi-serious joke about the “big recorder agenda” in schools, vividly recalling awkward childhood calibrations with the recorder.
• Laughter over how music class “indoctrinated” them with cheap instruments, leading to bad group recitals.

Notable Quote:
"Big recorder agenda. We all thought we were going to be playing recorder." – Drew (11:39)

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4. Gaming, Bixby Fails & Group Tech Antics (13:01–15:00)

• The crew recounts disastrous attempts to play “Among Us” and the frustrations of using inept AI voice assistants (e.g., Bixby).
• Their TV's voice control leads to embarrassing moments, like typing “hairy butthole” on the big screen (14:07).
• Segues into a running joke about VR gay porn and nosy neighbors seeing everything through their windows.

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5. Insecurities, Mirror Moments & Self-Love (15:10–17:53)

• Kai admits to insecurity about his looks and not being able to look in the mirror recently.
• Drew playfully unpacks the subject, then shares a reversal: recently feeling “hot” after looking in the mirror while high, contrary to his usual doubts.
• The group affirms each other, blending humor with real vulnerability.

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6. Group Therapy (via Roasting) & Vulnerability (17:55–20:16)

• Jokes about physical and emotional self-improvement segue into deeper self-critique.
• Discussion about working on their “core” (both physical and metaphorical).
• Affirmations of gratitude for life, riffing on “every day is a gift,” and dark but loving humor about mental health and depression.

Notable Quote:
"I feel very grateful because I could be dead. I mean, for real, truly, honestly, I'm like, every day is a gift." – Kai (10:40)

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7. Word Association Chaos (21:38–41:13, 34:38–41:02, various)

• An ongoing group word association game devolves into absurdity: “point, door, gay, penis, boobyola, Drew” (36:02–36:16).
• The crew delights in how off-track they get, debating word connections and revealing the quirks of their group dynamics.
• Segues into raunchy humor, physical gags, and personal revelations.

Memorable Exchange:
"Booby allah, boobiola, penis and drew. What do those three things have in common?" – Kai (36:33)

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8. Absurd Bodily Humor & Laxative Confessions (29:00–31:13)

• Extended riff about digestive issues, stool softeners, and attempts to “unlodge” a turd.
• The crew spins this TMI into a comedic bit about boundaries and care.

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9. Unpacking Internet Culture, Viral Drama & Parasocial Fame (32:46–35:38, 49:13–53:14)

• Drew shares angst over being unfollowed by Charli XCX, expressing comic jealousy at social media drama.
• They joke about viral moments, followers, and public perception.
• Commentary on streaming series and how today's vertical shorts (TikTok, YouTube) both inspire and trap them into binge-watching.
• The “punch the monkey” saga—a baby monkey being bullied by other monkeys—sparks a reflection on online cruelty and exploitation as zoo “drama.”

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10. Media, Parasocial Fixations, and Digital Burnout (46:25–50:28)

• Tangents on vertical shorts, TikTok binging, feeling sympathy for actors in low-budget series.
• Reflection on labor and the normalization of having multiple jobs in the gig economy, as depicted in the shows they consume.

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11. Social Media Mishaps & Sex App Confessions (43:54–45:34, 61:11–67:36)

• Extended discussion of “pumpies”—an inside joke about gooners on X (formerly Twitter) holding mutual online masturbatory “spaces.”
• Drew reveals he invested in Grindr stock and jokes about wanting a company jacket “covered in cum” (45:55).
• The group runs through the latest social media drama and relationships, riffing on “The Try Guys” scandal involving Ned, polyamory, and questionable dating app profiles.

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12. Pop Culture, Olympic Inspiration, and Gender (67:13–69:38)

• The group gushes about Olympic athlete Alyssa, praising her talent, confidence, and the importance of letting girls shine.
• Discussion of impressions left by media figures, how gender norms are subverted, and the power of enthusiastic role models.

Notable Quote:
"It's almost like if you let girls... specifically teenage girls, who I think are some of the smartest people in the world, if you just let them do what they want. Oh my God. There's great results because women are naturally way more smart than men." – Josiah (67:20)

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13. Media of the Week Recommendations (72:27–75:27)

• Drew: “Neighbors” (noted especially for its second episode and its unique, rapid-fire style; praises on-screen chemistry).
• Josiah: Doechii, Willow, Kelela (Tiny Desk performances), PinkPantheress.
• Kai/Guest: HBO’s “Industry” (admitted to not liking it yet, but giving it a chance), “JFK Love Story.”

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Notable & Memorable Quotes

• "You're allowed to smile and be happy, you know that right? And sometimes you're gonna be sad and that's okay." – Drew (10:02)
• "I feel very grateful because I could be dead." – Kai (10:40)
• "Big recorder agenda. We all thought we were going to be playing recorder." – Drew (11:39)
• "Sometimes being held captive is beautiful." – Josiah (22:26)
• "I can't look in the mirror recently because it feels as though it's like... responsibility." – Kai (16:54)
• "Every day is a gift. If you don't treat it as... that's why they call it the present, baby." – Drew (10:50)

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Memorable & Funny Moments

• The group’s failed attempts at Among Us with clunky tech (13:01–14:39)
• “Hairy butthole” appearing on the TV (14:07)
• Dra-matic reenactments of group in-jokes: “Pumpies,” “Gray sweatpants challenge,” and “unlodging” turds (29:00–32:00)
• Drew’s mock outrage about being unfollowed by Charli XCX (32:52)
• Deep dives into “vertical shorts” content and the learning curve in new digital storytelling forms (46:25–47:13)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:06 — Opening mood check; Apple product hype
• 05:11 — YouTube nostalgia and “Ijustine” era
• 10:02 — Smiling through life: permission to be happy
• 11:39 — The “big recorder agenda” in music education
• 15:14 — Group therapy: self-love and mirror confessions
• 21:38 — Word association game Part 1
• 29:00 — Digestive TMI & bodily humor
• 32:52 — Social media drama: Charli XCX unfollows Drew
• 36:02 — Word association chaos (“penis, boobyola, Drew”)
• 46:25 — TikTok, vertical shorts, and modern streaming
• 49:13 — Vertical shorts: class, labor, and media
• 53:26 — Baby monkey “Punch”: ethical outrage at viral zoo drama
• 61:11 — Snowstorm tale and ground reporting
• 67:13 — Olympic inspiration: celebrating Alyssa
• 72:27 — Media of the week segment

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Summary & Takeaway

This episode exemplifies everything that makes Emergency Intercom popular: chaotic, tangential humor, zero boundaries, and surprisingly honest reflections on happiness, insecurity, and friendship. The hosts riff on everything from forgotten internet communities and iPad debates to self-perception and the need for daily gratitude. There's tenderness under the surface—affirming the value of being present, embracing quirks, and holding onto curiosity—even as the group loudly and lovingly roasts each other and recounts their messiest moments.

Fans of the show will find all the signature banter, but beneath the layers of irony and TMI lies a call to enjoy simple joys, accept vulnerability, and, as Drew reminds us: "You're allowed to smile and be happy. You know that right?" (10:02)

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For new listeners: If you like your comedy fast, unfiltered, and a little heartfelt, this episode is a perfect encapsulation of Emergency Intercom’s unique vibe.

Transcript

[Podcast Host/Announcer]

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[Drew]

this is US Olympic gold medalist Tara

[Kai]

Davis Woodhull and I'm US Paralympic gold medalist Hunter Woodhull.

[Josiah]

As athletes, our lives are about having

[Kai]

a clear path and a team that you can absolutely trust.

[Josiah]

So when it came to getting the

[Kai]

best mortgage, we chose PennyMac.

[Josiah]

PennyMac is proud to be the official mortgage provider of Team USA and you

[Kai]

learn more at pennymac.com PennyMac Loan Services LLC equal housing lender and MLS ID 35953 licensed by the Department of Financial Protection and Innovation under the California Residential Mortgage Lending Act. Conditions and restrictions may apply.

[Josiah]

There's a fire inside you you can't ignore. Stand still. Not a chance. You're a lifelong learner who's come this far. Now we are here to help you keep going further. Capella University what can't you do? Visit capella.edu to learn more.

[Kai]

Well, the holidays have come and gone once again, but if you've forgotten to get that special someone in your life a gift, well, Mint Mobile is extending their holiday offer of half off unlimited wireless. So here's the idea. You get it now. You call it an early present for next year. What do you have to lo give it a [e-mail] switch limited time 50%

[Josiah]

off regular price for new customers. Upfront payment required $45 for 3 month, $90 for 6 month or $180 for 12 month plan taxes and fees. Extra speeds may slow after 50gb per month when network is busy see terms. Hi, welcome to this episode of EM Intercom. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm in a really good mood. But Drew's not so I just wish we had a fairy godmother father or

[Drew]

whatever something a father them.

[Kai]

This is your fairy godfather and I'm not gonna face the camera.

[Josiah]

Yeah, he's in a bad mood. He's in a badass mood and he doesn't want to look at you guys. It's Josiah. If you can't tell by the back

[Kai]

of his head I'm a badass,

[Josiah]

you don't give a. That's why I love you.

[Kai]

I don't even need a chair.

[Josiah]

Never did, never, never will.

[Drew]

Okay, Ariana, wait.

[Josiah]

What were y' all talking about?

[Kai]

This whole like oh, TouchBook MacBook Pro.

[Josiah]

You being sold on a MacBook. A touchscreen MacBook Pro, baby. That's a big iPad with a keyboard. They sell that right now.

[Drew]

But no, it's got the computer parts inside. No, it's not very powerful.

[Josiah]

IPads have computer.

[Drew]

It's got the chip but doesn't have the same.

[Josiah]

Yes, it has. Yes it has like the M4 or whatever the it is. Like when I went to go get my iPad, they literally were like, you shouldn't even get a MacBook anym anymore. Like you can have this big ass iPad.

[Drew]

The operating system.

[Josiah]

Maybe you're being sold the dream.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Also the integrated memory. You can get a lot higher capacity with the MacBook Pro. So. Yep, I'm back.

[Kai]

So listen, he's got glasses on.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

If you could tell even before I spoke, you could feel the masculine energy. That's. That's me.

[Josiah]

You could feel that someone was going to interrupt with like it's like when you Google something and AI shows the first. That's when Kai speak.

[Kai]

Can you turn that off? No, they're not letting us because now I just can't Google stuff because that's the thing.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

It feels like that's not. That's.

[Josiah]

It feels like when I'm going to someone's page and I'm trying to find a very specific Instagram post and you just like go to their page and you hit like a fast scroll. That's what I do after I Google stuff now. Okay, but what's Yalls plans?

[Kai]

No, Drew asked Google this morning, hey, is there going to be a new touchscreen MacBook Pro? And I said, are you asking me that? And he's like, no, I just asked Google and I said. And then he, I guess, got the answer yes, and got so excited. He jumped on the bed. I was still in bed. He jumped on the bed and he

[Josiah]

said, I'm getting a new MacBook Pro this year.

[Kai]

No, the most excited I've seen you in a while.

[Drew]

Or Apple products.

[Kai]

Like, it's Ijustine.

[Drew]

It's very special to me.

[Josiah]

Like, you are very.

[Drew]

I love Justine. I love an Apple product.

[Josiah]

Like, have we talked about the fact that you're Ijustine?

[Drew]

No. Yeah, I was Ijustine for 20 years. I just got my 20 year.

[Kai]

You were Justine in my. In my video. You're still in my contacts as Justine.

[Josiah]

Oh, you're Justine. You are just.

[Drew]

No, I got my 20 year jacket. They gave us all jackets for being on YouTube for 20 years.

[Kai]

YouTube has been. It's been 20 years.

[Drew]

2006. I've been posting since 2006.

[Josiah]

Wow. Time flies. 20 years. That's not that crazy.

[Kai]

No, but think about the first time you watch YouTube. Probably 2008.

[Josiah]

But I feel like by the time I got to YouTube, I didn't even understand it was YouTube. Does that make sense? Like, when I was originally watching YouTube, if it was, like, Justin Bieber, like, doing a cover or some random, like, thing that went viral, I don't think I understood what I was.

[Kai]

Chocolate.

[Josiah]

Yeah, like, some. Like that. I don't think I understood. I was just like, there. This place is crazy. There's videos all over this box.

[Kai]

I knew YouTube was, like, the place to be. I had my own channel. I had a background. Like, I was so excited. But from the age of, like, 8, 7, 8.

[Josiah]

Well, you were born to be a star.

[Drew]

Did y' all know what dig was? Dick dig. D. I G. G. Oh.

[Kai]

What is Digg?

[Drew]

It's like Reddit. Before Reddit. Kai, do you know?

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I know what dig is. I was just looking at the photo that we were looking at before again.

[Kai]

What photo?

[Drew]

Oh, the DMs. Oh. Kai got caught sucking dick on accident. Kai got sick.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

There's a picture floating around the Internet of a guy that looks like me in the same navy crewneck sweater that I.

[Drew]

That looks like. Same navy.

[Josiah]

I mean, not looks like that is.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

It was to the point where I did a double. I was like, oh, my God.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

When did that happen?

[Drew]

How the fuck you suck dick on accident?

[Josiah]

I don't know.

[Drew]

I don't know.

[Kai]

I shave my eyebrows. Why did you do that? I don't know.

[Josiah]

That's the realest like response ever, other than season seven of Bad Girls Club, when somebody asked Judy, who is like, at the beginning, she's very neurotic. Somebody asked her if she's crazy after she went insane in a club for two hours. And she just goes, maybe so. Looking around, am I crazy? Maybe so. That's so. Wow. Okay, so you're this MacBook.

[Drew]

Yeah, I'm just. I'm just excited about it.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

It's exciting. It's a redesign.

[Drew]

Yeah, it's like it's a redesign also, like, I can sell both my iPad and my MacBook and have my iPad and MacBook in one form. Factor major in every single way. This computer is going to be fingerprints, though. No, it's not going to have the same glass. Baby, you don't have iPad glasses.

[Josiah]

Still, no matter how far we go technologically, I have not technological. I have not encountered a glass that doesn't leave a print. Like, I like.

[Drew]

Have you ever seen the Galaxy?

[Kai]

I did the gray sweatpants challenge for four years and no one said a thing.

[Drew]

No one was like, there was no price.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Wait, look, I commented on it.

[Drew]

Kai knew that's.

[Kai]

You know, man, Kai saw the whole thing.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Oh, yeah, we have to.

[Kai]

Josh pantsed me right in front of you.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I saw a quarter of it and it was gray.

[Kai]

He said it was gray. He said it was gray.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Desaturated gray. When they take the color away.

[Kai]

That's awful.

[Drew]

Kai, were you on antidepressants then?

[Kai]

Me?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Yeah. I've been on Zoloft since 2020.

[Josiah]

Try to publicly, I'd be like, girl, it's okay. It's the Zola.

[Drew]

It was really cold.

[Josiah]

Well, I. On my birthday. We haven't talked about this because you haven't been here. On my birthday was walking towards this area of the house and Josh and Lucas had a door they were holding closed or like, I don't really understand what was happening, but I walked in and. Oh, God, Kai. Was Kai on his knees? Yeah, Kai was on his knees. So I saw the back of Kai and then it was just Josie and.

[Kai]

And Kyra like this. Wait, what happened?

[Unidentified Male Guest]

We were doing like a bit, though,

[Drew]

wiping the tears away.

[Kai]

We were hoping someone else would open the door, like Drew or Mason or something.

[Josiah]

But I'm more shameful.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

In my whole life, I did not

[Josiah]

want to never seen, like, a face like that on a human. Like he.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I would rather my parents have walked in than Anya in that moment. But it is what it is. And I rolled with the punches.

[Josiah]

Classic. You always take It.

[Kai]

Kai, what about you being built like a bus driver?

[Drew]

What about Josiah being built like the bus Josiah go again.

[Josiah]

Josiah's the fortnite bus.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

That was good.

[Drew]

Shut the fuck up, Drew.

[Kai]

What about you being built like a planet?

[Drew]

What about. What about you being built like those solar system infinite?

[Kai]

What about you?

[Josiah]

Okay, wait, I'm low key infinite. Like, I think I might be.

[Drew]

Kai, add the infinity gif. Galaxy gif on the screen.

[Josiah]

Yeah, because I'm like infinite infinity. As. I'm not kidding. Last night I was like, I am living infinity.

[Drew]

No, last night was one of the best nights of my life.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I. I so unironically have been in such a grateful state for like the past year.

[Drew]

It's really all about smiling. Like, it really is. I'm not even kidding. It's like unconditional happiness. Like you're allowed to smile and be happy. You know that, right? And sometimes you're gonna be sad and that's okay.

[Josiah]

I know, I know. But you still have to smile through the sadness. As I get older, I sound more and more like my dad, which my dad is just a classically overly traumatized immigrant who like, he's like self manifesting, which I do think has worked on him. But every day of his life, for his whole life, he has been like, my life is amazing and it's been awful. But you know what? It's. It's great. It's perfect. And like, just saying like that, I'm like, so.

[Drew]

They love that I hate myself. They love that I hate myself.

[Kai]

That is how I feel, though. I feel very grateful because I could be dead. I mean, for real, truly, honestly, I'm like, every day is a gift. And if you don't treat it as.

[Drew]

So that's why they call it the present, baby.

[Kai]

Yeah. Baby, your life is going to be miserable forever. Yeah. And if you're never depressed. If you're depressed, get over.

[Drew]

Can I hard switch a conversation? The big flute agenda. We're not. We're not talking about the big flute agenda. What the are you talking about? Pushed flutes on us in middle school. Everyone was playing flute.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Oh, the recorder.

[Josiah]

No, that's the gay person experience.

[Kai]

The recorders.

[Josiah]

You're a gay guy.

[Drew]

That big recorder agenda had me thinking we were going to be playing.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Yeah, they were stressed out for like four or five years.

[Josiah]

Plays a flute so it, it is big.

[Kai]

I mean, it had repercussions.

[Drew]

It's like, oh, my God. And yeah, you shady. I love it.

[Josiah]

Me calling you gay and then calling Lizzo big in the same 20 seconds is crazy.

[Drew]

But no big, big recorder agenda. We all thought we were going to be playing recorder.

[Kai]

I never thought.

[Josiah]

I.

[Kai]

Like, that's why it'd be like a theater.

[Josiah]

Like.

[Drew]

No.

[Josiah]

Are you thinking because, like, watching SpongeBob indoctrinated you into the gig? Like, you were gonna.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I know what you're saying.

[Josiah]

I know what you're saying.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I know what you're saying.

[Drew]

Music class. We were playing recorders for, like, three years, and we would have, like, a recital at the end of the year every year, and it was just us playing shitty recorder songs. I saw someone, like. The reason this thought came to my head is because I found an Instagram page that makes current, modern songs into recorders. So you know how to play them. And they did. Zara Larson. And it was legitimately the worst, like, rendition I've ever heard in my life.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Yeah, the recorders sounded like shit. Yeah, they sounded really bad. It's like culture.

[Josiah]

Like.

[Kai]

Like a rock band.

[Josiah]

I was a rock star growing up.

[Drew]

The video game. What were you gonna say?

[Josiah]

Oh, wait, on Imposters or Among Us or whatever the. Yesterday I got kicked out.

[Kai]

Oh, yeah, I'm very important.

[Drew]

And you commented, I'm very important. And they kicked her from the lobby.

[Kai]

And you played Among Us for the first time.

[Josiah]

And it's like a random username. Like, nothing like it. Oh, everybody's a bit fearful about my confidence.

[Drew]

That game made me crash out. That was the first time I ever. You really.

[Kai]

You got very upset. I was.

[Drew]

I was not an imposter, and we

[Kai]

didn't get to be imposter once.

[Josiah]

We're all so annoying. And, like, we. I don't even think it's an annoying thing. It's really hard to type on, like, PS5 or just, like, any controller like that. So none of us could speak or what?

[Drew]

Hey, Bixby. Bixby. Type out this message.

[Josiah]

No, that was making me cry. That actually made me so fun.

[Drew]

Our tv. Me and Josiah learned that it has its own version. I was, like, shouting something, and it.

[Kai]

Yeah, like, Rigby or like, something from, like, we were watching the movie, and then that thing popped up and you were like, wait, what the.

[Drew]

I was saying Scuba Steve. I think.

[Kai]

I think I was saying Big Daddy.

[Drew]

And it caught Big Speed Bigsby. And then we found out that our TV has a Siri. A version of Siri. And you can make it, like, read poems and, like, it can beatbox.

[Kai]

It can sing a song for you.

[Drew]

And then you can also make it look up gay.

[Josiah]

Like, Is this AI we got?

[Kai]

No, because it's so awful.

[Josiah]

It, like, it is really bad. I mean, it can't understand.

[Kai]

It can't do anything.

[Josiah]

Look up gay porn.

[Kai]

I knew for a fact. I was like, there's no AI.

[Drew]

Look up gay porn.

[Kai]

It can't do that.

[Drew]

Yeah. And our windows were all open, and there was Harry. I just typed. I had it type out hairy Butthole. And you can see in our living room from the street. Harry Butthole on the tv.

[Kai]

We were watching one of the videos.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, we watched VR gay porn.

[Kai]

And then you were like, oh, my God. The windows, like, facing the street. And, like, someone could be with the patrol. The patrol?

[Drew]

Yeah. We have, like, a security guy in our neighborhood stalking us right now.

[Kai]

As he should, honestly.

[Josiah]

Well, I'm. We're very important people.

[Drew]

Very important.

[Kai]

Vip. You guys have me for a bit. So, I mean, ask your questions, ask away. I'm sure everybody in the comments.

[Josiah]

We didn't finish, though. I was playing a game of Fortnite, and they kept talking to the tv. But when you talk to the tv, it covers up the whole bottom half. And it literally was. And it was crashing out because it's extremely rude.

[Kai]

It made her lose.

[Josiah]

No, it literally did. I was being haunted.

[Kai]

I tell you what made you lose those club thumb,

[Drew]

those toe thumbs.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Yeah.

[Kai]

That is like, girl, be careful.

[Drew]

Careful, careful, careful.

[Kai]

No, but you don't have it like that.

[Drew]

No, I have it like that. I used to unironically be insecure about my thumbs.

[Josiah]

Yeah, that was one of your first insecurities. I found out about you.

[Drew]

I was never shirtless around y' all and my thumbs.

[Kai]

You were. Yeah.

[Josiah]

Yeah, he did.

[Drew]

I hated my.

[Josiah]

We didn't see him shirtless, literally, for, like, seven years.

[Kai]

You walk around shirtless all the time.

[Josiah]

Yeah. Now we can't get clothes on you.

[Drew]

I know. I can't keep them.

[Josiah]

Now you're.

[Drew]

If it were up to me, I'd be shirtless now.

[Josiah]

I mean, it's up to you, and it's legal.

[Drew]

So I'm working on my core right now. So, like, in two weeks, I'll have abs.

[Josiah]

Oh, I thought you meant your personhood, cuz, baby, that's what we got to get to.

[Drew]

I'm working on my soul.

[Josiah]

Let's work on that core first.

[Drew]

I'm working on my soul.

[Kai]

I'm getting.

[Drew]

Josiah did that to a grandma the other day, and she got so pissed. A grandma or an aunt?

[Kai]

An aunt. She's very classy.

[Josiah]

Have some respect.

[Kai]

She's classy. In that way. So ask away.

[Drew]

Grandmas aren't classy, Josiah. If you grandmas are low key, Josiah, if you loved yourself,

[Kai]

period, I feel like I would be unstoppable if I loved you.

[Josiah]

You don't think you love yourself?

[Drew]

Josiah loves himself.

[Kai]

Not physically, no. I can't look in the mirror recently.

[Drew]

That's actually a really dark joke.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I don't really know what to say.

[Kai]

Oh, God.

[Drew]

Like, should we unpack that? Do you want to go deeper?

[Josiah]

No, let's just get you. Let's get you into tanning bed, and I think it'll change your life.

[Kai]

No, I think I look good.

[Drew]

Should we go deeper?

[Kai]

I don't think I look good. I think I look okay.

[Josiah]

You're good looking, but I can't look

[Kai]

in the mirror recently because it feels as though it's like.

[Josiah]

Like, oh, like, like, I mean, I feel. You know what I mean?

[Kai]

Like, it's like. It's just a natural responsibility.

[Josiah]

I've been doing my usual, like, damn, like, hashtag, staring challenge. I've been kind of like, okay, I don't have time for that.

[Kai]

Y'.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

All.

[Drew]

Y' all know how I smoked weed?

[Josiah]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

Drew smoked weed.

[Drew]

And I got, like, for real high. Like, I got. He started asking questions.

[Josiah]

He started asking questions.

[Drew]

He was like, how long am I gonna be like this?

[Josiah]

No. For like, what was the straight of this? And how is it supposed to make. Am I supposed to be tired right now? And you're like, no. And then you're like, how long does be gone?

[Drew]

And then I went to my room to go to the bathroom. And I didn't tell y' all this last night, but the reason I got scared is cuz I saw myself in my mirror. But it. It wasn't because I thought I was ugly. Like, honestly, like, the past three days, I've been looking in the mirror and I'm like, wait, I'm hot. Like, what the is happening?

[Kai]

Yeah, you do.

[Drew]

Okay, don't say too much.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

You do look really good. When we were walking in, you, like, blocked the entrance intimidatingly. I.

[Drew]

My shoulders have gotten broader. Yeah, I'm like, literally frame logging right

[Unidentified Male Guest]

now, and your skin's, like, really clear.

[Drew]

What's crazy is I've stopped doing my skin care for the most part. I did it for the first time last night in, like, days.

[Josiah]

My skin looks the best now that I do two things to my face.

[Drew]

It's. It's. Honestly, we could learn a lot from that in life. Knife. Less is more, baby subtraction. When you're going out, take a piece of clothing off. Preferably it's the skirt.

[Josiah]

Preferably it's the underwear. Yeah.

[Kai]

Preferably Coco Chanel skirt.

[Drew]

Wear the bra and the skirt.

[Kai]

And you know, and you know when y' all are drinking blood, how does that work? Do you put sugar in it?

[Drew]

Wait, Tokyo Tony Moon.

[Kai]

I need to see Giatoni on Traders that show Traitors.

[Josiah]

She's so good, dude.

[Kai]

I know.

[Josiah]

She's also so gorgeous. Like she's a really good looking.

[Kai]

That video of her with the lipstick and like the. Where she looks like kind of gothy.

[Josiah]

Yeah. Well also in general it really does go to show like she just has always been such a good looking person regardless of what you have to say about her. Because we all, when she's on screen,

[Kai]

we all stop, we're captivated.

[Josiah]

And there's activated people online who are mad, loud and say like rambunctious. But she's also just like stupid.

[Drew]

It's also just authenticity I think is what's really attractive like for everyone is it's just like, oh, this person is literally just being herself. Maybe we don't agree with everything she says or anything but like that authenticity is so attractive. Like that passion, that passion for the Illuminati is special.

[Josiah]

Unpacking Tokyo to cuz she is amazing. But I, I just thought of the clip of her in the drive thru being like, how did you get this job? Like to the person? And then she like takes a sip of the drink and she's like, perfect.

[Kai]

Can you take this trash?

[Josiah]

No. I love it also because that sounds out like her going, perfect. Hey, that's how we interact with strangers for the most part. I mean mainly like you, Josiah. You just scare people. Normal people scare you.

[Kai]

No, no, no. How I think about it is you give them a story, you give them like something to think about for the rest of the day. Like, why was that guy acting like that?

[Josiah]

Yeah, well, it's always from a joyful place too. Joy.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

I don't want to strike fear into anybody's heart. I want to strike intrigue, curiosity.

[Josiah]

I think sometimes you might accidentally.

[Drew]

I've lost my curiosity a little bit.

[Kai]

That's on them.

[Josiah]

That's on them.

[Drew]

I've lost my curiosity a little bit. Have y' all noticed?

[Kai]

Oh, no. Well, no. You got very excited about the touchcreen book. That's curiosity. That is like, oh my God, new technology.

[Drew]

I did, I did get a new book because I was like, oh, period. I need to be curious and am I going to Read it all. Probably not, but it's the book about cocaine and rats. Rats. Were you.

[Kai]

If you were locked in a cage with just cocaine, would you do it?

[Josiah]

Yes. Yeah. What else am I going to do?

[Drew]

But what are you going to do

[Kai]

when it runs out?

[Drew]

I would have an iPhone.

[Josiah]

I guess I'm not doing cocaine anymore. I would have an iPhone.

[Drew]

I would have an iPhone implanted in my brain. So I would just play on my brain. IPhone. That's not the question. Know in my world it is.

[Kai]

That's not the world.

[Drew]

You're denying my reality right now. And it's actually kind of freaking.

[Josiah]

It's a bit triggering. Is. It's his body, his brain, his choice, his thoughts. Like you're. Now you're intruding on that. You're actually gentrifying it. Cuz you're going into spaces and you're trying to make them your own.

[Drew]

And you're changing. It's destabilizing.

[Kai]

How about I. Whoa.

[Josiah]

Knock you upside the head. Bottle of acid. You dumb. I was going to say acid.

[Kai]

I said put acid in your acid.

[Josiah]

It got out. It came out.

[Drew]

Should we do the word association game?

[Kai]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

Last night we played word association. And we'll insert the clip of us getting.

[Josiah]

They held me captive. Yeah. Keith. Keith. Deliver candy.

[Drew]

All right, let's just go.

[Josiah]

I was trying to go to bed for 30 minutes.

[Drew]

When I was showing Josh this morning. I was like, like, oh, my God. Like, we held you captive for 15 more minutes. Like, I thought it was three minutes.

[Josiah]

That was after, by the way. Like, that was after y' all were at one. I said, I think we should just like, start wrapping it up. And then y' all held me there for like 40 minutes. But honestly, it was amazing.

[Drew]

It was perfect.

[Kai]

You're in your own.

[Josiah]

Sometimes being held captive is beautiful.

[Drew]

Yeah. If you reframe your brain.

[Josiah]

Yeah. If you make lemonade out of those

[Drew]

lemons, like, at least you're designed.

[Josiah]

Brazilian lemonade.

[Drew]

You're desired and wanted. That's a lot more than, like, a lot of people could say, like, if I got kidnapped, I'd be. I would appreciate it.

[Josiah]

I don't think anyone's kidnapping. Like, I don't.

[Kai]

They return you after a little bit. That's what my mom always said to me. She was always like, if you got kidnapped, they'd return you with it.

[Drew]

I saw a video of this girl being like, me being a hypochondriac, getting kidnapped, and it was so funny. Period job. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, hold on.

[Podcast Host/Announcer]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year. You can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory services by Public Advisors llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete Disclosures [e-mail] Disclosures this is Matt

[Kai]

Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bowen Yang from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. What if your WI fi was more than just WI fi? What if your WI fi made everything in your whole house just work together better?

[Drew]

Well, Xfinity wifi pretty much does exactly that.

[Kai]

It's powered by their best, most elite high performing tech. Allow us to paint a very realistic example. Everyone in your house, everyone is on their devices at the exact same time. Gaming, working, swiping.

[Josiah]

Right?

[Kai]

Because of course they are. And the finale of your favorite show of all time of the week is on at the exact same moment. Well, you can boost the WI fi to your device with Xfinity. And have you ever asked yourself, what if my wifi could keep watch over

[Drew]

my kids for me?

[Kai]

Well, probably not, because that's a weird

[Drew]

thing to ask yourself.

[Kai]

But Xfinity WI Fi has parenting skills, even if you sometimes forget yours. Xfinity's like don't worry, I'll monitor the WI fi. It's completely proactive, fixing issues before they even happen. Bottom line, Xfinity is smart and reliable. You deserve the peace of mind of having WI fi that's got your back. Xfinity. Imagine that. Well, the holidays have come and gone once again, but if you've forgotten to get that special someone in your life. A gift. Well, Mint Mobile is extending their holiday offer of half off unlimited wifi wireless. So here's the idea. You get it now, you call it an early present for next year. What do you have to lose? Give it a [e-mail] Switch limited time

[Josiah]

50 off regular price for new customers. Upfront payment required 45 for 3 months, $90 for 6 months or 180 for 12 month plan taxes and fees. Extra speeds may slow after 50 gigabytes per month when network is busy. See terms guys.

[Drew]

The moments right before we started this podcast were really, really, really intense. We were like what are we getting ourselves into? What if we fail? What if someone gets into me? What are we gonna do? And Shopify came in and saved the day by helping us really figure out ways to make money off of us talking. And one of those ways was our merch business. And I think that really helped us early on.

[Josiah]

Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Skims and Chamberlain Coffee. It's a brand's just getting started. Get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style.

[Drew]

But in your what if I get stuck?

[Josiah]

Well, Shopify is always around to share advice with their award winning 24. 7 customer support. So even someone who needs as much help as you can get the help they need very easily with Shopify. Okay, it's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.comintercom go to shopify.comintercom

[Drew]

that's shopify.comintercom I want an Inya cheese from New York City and maybe a Kai salad as well from the deli.

[Kai]

Yep. Figure it out. Figure it out. Out.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Oh, chopped.

[Drew]

Chopped. Chopped cheese. A chopped salad.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Yeah, that was up. I actually did think that that was something nice that you were saying.

[Drew]

And Kai's the salad.

[Josiah]

He's a nice thing.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I don't know, I just sounded nice. It sounded nice at the beginning.

[Kai]

Kai salad.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

And I also, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.

[Kai]

Your bar for compliments Kai is he took ironically.

[Drew]

We all need to compliment Kai right now.

[Kai]

Yeah. You're gorgeous.

[Josiah]

Why thank you.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Now you go.

[Drew]

Kai. Your arms look huge. Really? I don't know what you've been doing, but you look big and strong.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Thank you.

[Josiah]

I love that you are into wearing these shorts all the time now.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Okay, that was the most sexual one. That was the most sexual compliment.

[Josiah]

No, it's just because, like, wow. You give a man shorts once. He just can't believe his legs.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Wow. She saw my legs and said, wow. You guys know what pumpies are?

[Drew]

Yeah, Pumpies. Puppies.

[Kai]

Yes.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

You know about this?

[Kai]

Puppies? Like, puppies.

[Josiah]

I want pumpies. Please.

[Drew]

I want pumpies.

[Josiah]

That's disgusting, Drew.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

You know what they are.

[Josiah]

Stop. Stop. Because you look so happy too.

[Kai]

You really are like Grippy.

[Drew]

Shining Grippy.

[Kai]

His nickname in my phone is Grippy. You put a pinky in there, it

[Josiah]

would grip well, you put a pinky in there. If you pull it out too quick, you're not coming out with a pinky.

[Drew]

Girl, I was. I was farting crazy, and my. My was loose.

[Kai]

Ew. You were farting insane last night. Like, it was four in a like.

[Drew]

But it's the bubs. No one told me Swedish candy bubs were gonna, like, make me out of my ass. They're the greatest laxative ever created. Like, stool softeners, saline enemas. Give me a bag of Bu.

[Josiah]

Was trying to convince me so badly, by the way. Like, he wanted me to stick some on my butt the other night.

[Drew]

Well, I was gonna help you.

[Josiah]

It just gets so bored. They be like, it. Let's go put something up your mind.

[Drew]

Well, there's. There. There's certain positions you have to be in, and I would help you get into the assuma position.

[Josiah]

First of all, I think I could get in my own butt. Fine. Let's start there.

[Drew]

Like, wait. Second of all, let me see.

[Josiah]

I was, like, constipated as.

[Kai]

Oh, that would get it out.

[Josiah]

Well, that's what he was saying. And I was like, no, I just want a stool softener.

[Drew]

Like, the turd in India's colon was sideways instead of up and down.

[Josiah]

No, that is what it literally felt like.

[Drew]

My butt was about to girl throw,

[Josiah]

like, a different part. It was so scary. So I asked him for stool softener. When I went down to his room, he was like, girl, just do a saline enema. Come, come, come into his room. And I was like, no. And I went. And I got the stool softener. And then I was like, I just need one. He's like, oh, I take three. You should take three. Just here, here. And I was like, no.

[Drew]

Well, you can take one to three babies. Take one.

[Kai]

Oh, my.

[Drew]

Sorry. I was like. I was curious if we paused. Pause. No one said pause. What the dude.

[Josiah]

But he Was pushing that on me. I took the one and I'm walking out and literally all the way down, up until I got up the stairs. Was he talking to. He was like, it would just like, dude, it'd be if you're in pain,

[Drew]

you were reclusing away.

[Josiah]

And I literally just kept trying to walk away. Cuz I was like, no, I don't want to. And then he was like, please. And then, oh, wait, I don't want to put something on my butt right now. Like, my butt hurts. I don't want to be playing with it. And then he was like, dude, it's like nothing though. It's like. He's like, it's like a quarter of an inch.

[Drew]

You put it in a quarter of an inch.

[Josiah]

Trying to sell me on the fact that, like, he just wanted something to go up my butt.

[Kai]

But it would have worked. You would have.

[Josiah]

Everywhere I ended up, I don't have the butt.

[Drew]

I never got a thank you. I never gotta thank you for unlodging the turd from your ass.

[Kai]

You did it with your finger?

[Drew]

Well, yes. She wouldn't let me do it.

[Josiah]

He did it with his finger through the vagina. Because he went out and he went massage the front.

[Drew]

I massaged the.

[Josiah]

Like, I went like. It was a honey bun stuck in a vending machine.

[Kai]

Let's not get on to the topic of fisting.

[Drew]

Don't get Josiah started about.

[Kai]

Don't get me started about the fisting. Oh, no, Josiah.

[Drew]

I feel how hot my arms is.

[Josiah]

Mind you, Josiah, before we start, he's like, I'm giving you guys 10. 10 minutes. 10, 15.

[Kai]

Oh, it was 22.

[Drew]

Should we do word association?

[Kai]

Let's do that. And then I have to go because I have appointments.

[Josiah]

Girl, who's coming to your house?

[Kai]

A lot of people. I'm moving. I'm moving. I have to go fucking.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Josiah sucks so bad.

[Drew]

Josiah is. Josiah has lived three minutes away from us and came over maybe three times total in the entire year. And then the second he's moving, he's been here every single night because he's been alone. And I'm like, thank God.

[Kai]

I'll live alone now. So you're gonna see a whole lot more.

[Josiah]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

And you're gonna spend the night.

[Kai]

Yeah, because I'm live 20 minutes away.

[Josiah]

I so excited.

[Kai]

I'm gonna live where Kai lives.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

That's not 20 minutes. That's an hour away from them.

[Kai]

Yeah, don't say that.

[Drew]

It's not.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

It is an hour away.

[Kai]

Well, during the Day, like traffic. Yeah, we move smart. I only drive two times of the day on the freeway. Enough. Nothing else?

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Even without traffic, it's 30 minutes max, but I'll let you guys have this.

[Kai]

Clearly not an LA native.

[Drew]

Literally not an LA native.

[Kai]

Clearly.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I'm gonna put your guys's address on the screen, and then they can determine we're talking about Silver Lake.

[Drew]

And we're gonna put yours.

[Josiah]

Babe, baby, no one's going there. Don't know.

[Drew]

We go. Someone's gonna die in that house. Oh, wait, speaking of.

[Josiah]

Speaking of, I saw Wuthering Heights.

[Drew]

Charlie XCX unfollowed me. Charlie XCX unfollowted me. I have a bone to pick with you, Charlie. That's my bone.

[Kai]

Wait. I have a bone to pick with you, period.

[Drew]

Damn, that made y' all awkward as playing. We could just play.

[Josiah]

I'm just silent cuz I unfollowed her and Addison back cuz I'm like, oh, hell no. I'm not following an HQ page. The like. But that's also because I like. Like, I don't follow that many people. Like, the people I follow I actually watch. Like, most of the people I follow stuff. Unless it's, like, a business that I like just with. No, this.

[Drew]

Wait, why did no one tweet about.

[Josiah]

I thought this was our social network.

[Drew]

Why didn't no one tweet about Charlie unfollowing me? I saw them tweeting about Charlie unfollowing Pink panthers, but they didn't tweet about me. That's very.

[Josiah]

I lost in the.

[Drew]

Exactly.

[Josiah]

It's a lot of names.

[Drew]

Yeah, it's exactly.

[Kai]

You didn't make the cut. I. She kept following me.

[Drew]

Me.

[Kai]

You didn't make the cut.

[Drew]

Why don't people with Tourette's ever say nice things?

[Kai]

I think it's, like, intrusive. I don't know how the chemistry works.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Yeah, I'm not sure that's a good point, actually. Like.

[Kai]

Okay, let's do word.

[Josiah]

Well, yeah, I think it's kind of like ocd, though. Like Josie was saying, it's like a. Like, intrusive thoughts. Like, you wouldn't find a joyful thought to be intrusive.

[Kai]

Like, you.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Kai]

I love you.

[Drew]

Yeah. Like, you are so hot. You are queen. You are a queen.

[Josiah]

Well, that's gay Tourette's. That's just gay people.

[Drew]

Yeah, I've never seen a gay guy with Tourette's.

[Josiah]

Oh, the only people with nice Tourette's is gay guys.

[Drew]

Never seen a gay Guy with Tourette's.

[Kai]

Look in the mirror, babe.

[Drew]

I don't have Tourette's and I'm not gay.

[Kai]

Are we playing two truths and a lie?

[Josiah]

Okay, okay. Word is.

[Drew]

And I'm worth a billion dollars. Oh, wait, wait. Fuck, I fucked that up. Chop, chop.

[Kai]

Okay, let's do word association, and then I need to go to my appointment.

[Drew]

Okay. Do y' all have yalls words? Wait, I don't have mine. I don't have mine.

[Kai]

Do we. Should we explain or people understand what they know?

[Josiah]

I'm confused.

[Drew]

They'll catch on. They'll catch on.

[Kai]

Okay, do you have a word?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

You have a word?

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Three, two, one. Door, door, gay and what? Point.

[Drew]

Okay, point, door and gay.

[Kai]

Gay. Point, door, door, bitch.

[Josiah]

You just said the first thing your fucking eyes laid on, and you did that last night.

[Drew]

Let's not. We did not. Forget about the shoe.

[Josiah]

Well, you did the same thing. You looked at Kai and said, yay. I'm the only one who just thought of a new thing.

[Drew]

Let's wake that up.

[Josiah]

Okay.

[Kai]

Door, point, and gay.

[Drew]

So, like a gay door that comes to gay point. Oh, no, we can't. Yeah, we can.

[Kai]

A point, gay point, gay door. That's awesome.

[Drew]

Wait, wait, I have one. Point, gay door. A point, gay.

[Kai]

Point, gay. Gay. Point, point, gay.

[Josiah]

Oh, okay.

[Kai]

Three. Are you in?

[Josiah]

I'm thinking of something, but I can't put the word on it. But I'm just gonna. Yeah, just go.

[Kai]

Three, two, one. Penis. Oh, you said boobyola. I said penis, and you said Drew.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Boob penis and drew. Okay, I think there's something that lumps all those together.

[Drew]

Wait.

[Kai]

Booby allah, boobiola, penis and drew. What do those three things have in common?

[Drew]

I don't know.

[Kai]

Come on now.

[Drew]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Kai]

Think about it.

[Drew]

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

[Kai]

It's like a very simple. It's very simple.

[Josiah]

Wait, wait, wait. Catch me up.

[Kai]

Because I'm like, what do booby Allah, drew and penis and penis all have in common? Think about it.

[Drew]

Oh, wait, no, I lost it.

[Kai]

It's very simple. I know Penis and drew, girl.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Okay, I know it. I'll say it. I'm gonna participate.

[Kai]

3. Are you in?

[Drew]

I'm not. I'm not. Fuck. Penis and drew. Yes.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Dude, just.

[Josiah]

Okay, okay.

[Kai]

It's simple.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Let it come to you. Just.

[Kai]

It's very simple.

[Drew]

Wait. Hold my hand. Hold my hand.

[Kai]

It's very simple.

[Josiah]

I think we have to either, like. Like just guess or move on.

[Kai]

It's very simple.

[Drew]

Gay and drew.

[Josiah]

No.

[Kai]

Penis and Drew.

[Josiah]

Okay. Okay. Two, one.

[Kai]

Gay.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Gay.

[Drew]

What did you say about. I already said gay.

[Josiah]

Yeah, we already did gay. That's why I was.

[Kai]

You can't do it again. No, don't say gay. So you're part of the.

[Josiah]

Don't say gay. Yeah, I said. But.

[Drew]

Okay, one more, one more, one more.

[Kai]

Okay, okay. That one sucked.

[Josiah]

That one.

[Drew]

That was really disastrous.

[Kai]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. You have them?

[Drew]

No.

[Kai]

We played this for so long last night.

[Josiah]

I know.

[Kai]

Okay. 3. Wait, what was mine? Kai.

[Drew]

Do you want to join in?

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Yeah.

[Kai]

A four person. Okay, let's do it.

[Josiah]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

It's originally. It's only supposed to be two people. Four is going to be like. Let's do it. You have a word?

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Three, two, one.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Movie.

[Josiah]

I. I couldn't because I was so thrown off by the fact that Kai was going to be in there.

[Kai]

Words said bus bust.

[Josiah]

That's like. See, that's already a bad word. I could just sense that some ridiculous was gonna.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

That's just the first round.

[Josiah]

That's the thing is, though, we're taking this dead serious, right? He said bust.

[Kai]

Bust.

[Josiah]

Like. Yeah, bust a nut. Oh, Like.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

Like that.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I meant like busting into a house.

[Drew]

Yeah. Or like something busting open.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Yeah. Or someone busting all over.

[Kai]

No, because you said earlier, you said, drew gonna make me bust. You said that?

[Drew]

That's the first thing he said when he walked into my room.

[Kai]

He did. He did. He did. He said, can I have one of these Oreos? And then you said, yes, and you said, oh, my God, this is gonna make me buzz.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

This peanut butter Oreo is gonna make me.

[Drew]

And that's my nickname that we're forgetting.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Look into that. What that means.

[Kai]

Think of your word.

[Josiah]

Okay.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

And we're doing. This is the second round or are we starting?

[Kai]

No, we're starting over, baby.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Kai]

No bust.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Okay.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Kai]

Three. Are we good? Three, two, one.

[Drew]

Paddlefish, paper, cuttlefish, Cuttlefish.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Bottle, hair, hair.

[Josiah]

Okay, okay, easy. Paper, cuttlefish, hair, bottle, bottle, bottle. Paper, hair, cuttlefish, hair, fish, bottle, bottle and paper together.

[Kai]

Bottle and paper are together. And fish and bottle. Bottle, fish and hair.

[Drew]

Jaden Smith. Those box waters.

[Josiah]

No, I'm just going to say what I.

[Kai]

No, no.

[Josiah]

Okay.

[Kai]

Three, two, one.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I said douche.

[Drew]

I said Trixie Mattel.

[Josiah]

I said Ariel.

[Kai]

I said share. Yeah, it's giving. Share.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

That's good, but I don't know about paper for Ariel.

[Josiah]

Paper in a bottle.

[Kai]

That's like a.

[Drew]

And yeah, that was really. That was paper in a bottle.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

That's the whole very high iq.

[Drew]

Paper straws.

[Josiah]

I get it. I get it now.

[Kai]

I get it now.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Did you guys get mine though, too? Douche.

[Kai]

No, I didn't get that.

[Drew]

Because you use a bottle to douche fish.

[Josiah]

My fish.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

If you have a stinky fish. Yeah. And then you use a douche. It's kind of like a bottle.

[Kai]

So mine was share guy.

[Drew]

Have you ever seen mine?

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Your.

[Josiah]

Your hole.

[Drew]

Yeah, I've seen it in my fishy hole.

[Kai]

She's huge.

[Drew]

No, I've been working on my ass. Crazy. And there's. There's movement now. I'm not even kidding. Josiah saw it.

[Kai]

There's no movement. It's completely stagnant.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Do you remember when I put my cup down on what I thought was a table and it was my. On your.

[Drew]

And it sucked it up?

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Yeah.

[Kai]

I'm surprised you haven't sucked this chair up yet.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

It was like dropping it down a well.

[Kai]

You heard the echo in it.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Yeah, the reverb.

[Drew]

That's the sound it makes when I open it.

[Kai]

Yeah, well, fairy godfather has to go.

[Josiah]

No good ridden.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

He says he has three appointments.

[Kai]

Yeah, and I didn't get to make you your three wishes, but I will next time.

[Drew]

Bye, Joe. I love you. My fairy granddad.

[Kai]

Bye, guys. He's like magic.

[Josiah]

He's like magic, that man.

[Drew]

I found out pregnancy tests for our great grandmothers, our parents grandmothers weren't like a stick, wasn't like a tester strip or something. They injected your urine into rabbits, and if the rabbit died, that means you were fucking pregnant. And then they evolved into frogs, by the way. By the fucking way, girl, look it up.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Where are you getting your news from? Look it up.

[Drew]

They evolved into great grandmother pregnancy test rabbit.

[Josiah]

Where did you see this? Where did you see this?

[Drew]

I asked my mom about it. My mom was like. And then they moved to frogs.

[Josiah]

Oh, I thought you were saying.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I thought you were saying they evolved.

[Josiah]

Evolved. So it sounded like.

[Drew]

Wait, the rabbits evolved into frogs?

[Josiah]

That's like. I thought.

[Drew]

No, it's a rabbit. That.

[Josiah]

That's how frogs.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Oh, wow. You're right.

[Drew]

Yeah. Clock that.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

The 1930s to the 1960s, they would inject rabbits with piss and then their ovaries would swell and they would die. And that indicated that you were pregnant. And then they evolved into frogs.

[Josiah]

What happened to the ones that, like, they just had woman pissing non pregnant piss? They're just.

[Drew]

I wish I was that rabbit.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

They just get full of piss.

[Drew]

I wish I was that rabid. I want to be injected with woman urine.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

What happens if, like, you get injected with piss? Does your body just clear that out or is that sting?

[Drew]

I would have no idea. I would literally have no idea.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Weird response.

[Drew]

If you think I would know, you're crazy. I don't know about that.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

That's.

[Josiah]

You brought it up, though.

[Drew]

I don't know. Piss about that.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

And then why did you use the term evolved into frogs?

[Drew]

Because. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. No, the test went from rabbits to starting to do it on frogs.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Yeah, I understand that, but why would you say they evolved into frogs? That's just like.

[Josiah]

It literally is like, oh, my God. Pregnant woman's year.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I know.

[Drew]

But regardless of all of that, is that not crazy? How did they one find that out too? Like, why were they doing that for 30 years?

[Josiah]

Well, they found that out. The way most white people know that they're growing up is they just start poking at animals. And that's probably how they found out there was someone had to have been bored as and been like, I'm gonna put this piss in a rabbit. Yeah, but no, no, there has to be more to it. There's no way there. I can't really actually imagine a world where somebody.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

They're probably studying the ovaries of different. And they're like, oh, the same part

[Drew]

of the pill hormone or whatever the.

[Josiah]

Oh, my God, that's so fucked up. To die by lethal injection of a random lady's piss and your ovaries explode.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Have you guys heard of this? Pumpies?

[Josiah]

What?

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Have you heard of this Pumpies?

[Josiah]

Like, what is that? Stop.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Are you. Do you want to talk about this? You brought it up, right? Or who brought it up? You did.

[Drew]

Kai. Bring it up. Talk about it.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

All right, so a mutual friend of ours was talking to me. He's a gay guy and he was talking to me. Well, I guess that doesn't have anything to do with. With what this is inside. I want to. I guess it kind of does. Basically, he said on X formerly Twitter on this, on spaces, they'll have something called pumpies where gooners will join and then they'll jack off together and they'll

[Drew]

all moan and, like, give each other

[Unidentified Male Guest]

instruction, and it's like, dead ass. Yeah, it's dead.

[Drew]

You want to see a clip of it?

[Josiah]

You know what's fucked up is, like, there is. I cannot believe that this is about to come out of my mouth because I still stand by. And I don't care if it's prudent or whatever. I think anybody who like, makes their sex life a hobby and, like, a community hobby. To a certain extent, there is something oddly wrong with you. But whatever. It's so up that I am sitting here thinking, like, damn, dude, 20 years ago, these guys would have had to at least have the motivation and lust for horniness that they would have to get out of their house and go somewhere to find other dudes to do that with. Now they can literally just like, be in the middle of a conversation with their wife and be like, I'm gonna go downstairs and go do that puppies

[Unidentified Male Guest]

and get pumpies and beg each other for pumpies.

[Drew]

Well, I invested $1,000 into Grindr stock at IPO and I traded it all away. That's good trade.

[Josiah]

Are they public? Mm. Me asking about.

[Drew]

And they made custom grinder arc teryx blade or jackets. And I really want one.

[Josiah]

That is awesome.

[Drew]

It has the Grinder logo and then the Arcterics logo. Isn't that so cool?

[Josiah]

That's so awesome. I mean, realistically, you could probably just get an arteryx jacket and then embroider

[Drew]

it on, but I want, like, one that was, like, worn by a Grinder employee. Yeah.

[Josiah]

You want it to be covered income.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Oh, Kai almost just spilled a huge cup of water all over the equipment interface.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

No, no.

[Drew]

Oh, wow. Wait. I love this show.

[Josiah]

I don't have my contacts on. I don't know what I'm.

[Drew]

No, this is the short I was telling y' all about that. I've been watching this vertical short, and this is the commercial that got final exam. I like it.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

So what's next?

[Josiah]

The.

[Drew]

The reason why is I was like, whoa. They're, like, going there on a tick tock ad. Like, that's really crazy. And then I started getting into the psyche of these two actors, and I was like, damn. I kind of feel bad for them because they're doing these, like, vertical shorts and, like, showing their bodies. And then I was like, well, if that's what they want to do, they can do that. I'm proud of them. Go and run your. Then I started watching the shorts, and I very quickly realized I was re addicted to vertical shorts. And I watched 17 episodes.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

This wasn't even the first time.

[Josiah]

Wait, wait.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Got sucked into these.

[Josiah]

How long are these episodes?

[Drew]

They're like two to four minutes each.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

And there was much money. Do they cost?

[Kai]

Well, this is a free series.

[Drew]

That's why I. I was. I didn't feel bad.

[Kai]

It's free.

[Drew]

We could all watch it right now if we wanted.

[Josiah]

You want us to watch the bootleg heated rivalry.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Wait, what's the dynamic between us?

[Josiah]

I mean, I guess realistically, everyone starts somewhere. Me and Connor started on Brat, and now look at us.

[Drew]

Yeah, look at us now.

[Josiah]

Now literally look at us. We've literally blown everyone out of the water. People can't stop talking about us.

[Drew]

Who's we?

[Josiah]

Especially me. They can't stop talking about me in such a polite and nice way. Like, very endearing. The public talking about me. It's so nice.

[Drew]

It's so nice.

[Josiah]

When you look at my name. The first words that pop up after are like, lovely. It's.

[Drew]

It's nice.

[Kai]

But

[Drew]

the plot is the guy with the drawing pad, like, the nerdy looking one is like, he's the art guy. Yeah. They both go to a private school. The jock that's getting drawn with the abs is like, his father's on the board. He's really rich. Well, no, just to separate the characters, he's really rich, wealthy, easy for him to go to school. But the other kid is broken.

[Josiah]

He lives on the other side of

[Drew]

the train track, literally. And his mom works four jobs to keep him in school, which is ridiculous. How the do you work four jobs? You're literally lying.

[Josiah]

I can't believe we're living in such a demented timeline that most people have to have two jobs to survive. So now instead of saying, like, and

[Drew]

the mom has two jobs, that's regular. Two jobs is just like a regular thing. Now.

[Josiah]

Two jobs, it's like, okay, you want me to write a letter?

[Drew]

Like, what, you want a cookie? Everyone has two jobs.

[Josiah]

Like, that's great.

[Drew]

But cookie, he. Cookie, he, like, put. Took up tutoring to pay part of his tuition. And the jock, he caught the jock sweet talking one of his teachers to get his grade up. And it looked like from the outside they were going to hook up. And then he ran away. And then he chased after him and then just so happened to.

[Josiah]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Drew]

The jock got placed into tutoring with this guy against both of their wishes. And neither of them knew. He just showed up at his house one day and he was in his room to get tutored. And then one thing led to another. There was, like, bullying.

[Josiah]

Oh, he was gonna teach him a thing or two.

[Drew]

Well, that's the whole thing. It's like, what are you gonna teach me next? And then he gets really freaked out. Cause he's like, why do I have a boner right now? Like, I'm straight. And then he falls in love with him, but he has a girlfriend or no, he doesn't have a girlfriend. He has a girl that's obsessed with him and everybody's like, y' all should date. Then her dad's on the school gets really fudgeing, jealous of the tutor and like it was really fudgeing. Gnarly actually. They like took him into a back room and started like stripping him naked and like found his wallet, opened his wallet, found a picture naked.

[Kai]

Nasty.

[Drew]

That's what. Oh, because they wanted to take. They wanted to take pictures of him and post them all over the Internet, like embarrassing him.

[Josiah]

Look what Euphoria has done.

[Drew]

No Euphoria.

[Podcast Host/Announcer]

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[Kai]

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Well, Xfinity WI Fi pretty much does exactly that.

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It's powered by their best, most elite high performing tech. Allow us to paint a very realistic example. Everyone in your house, everyone is on their devices at the exact same time. Gaming, working, swiping. Right? Because of course they are. And the finale of your favorite show of all time of the week is on at the exact same moment. Well, you can boost the WI Fi to your device with Xfinity. And have you ever asked yourself what if my WI Fi could keep watch over my kids for me? Well, probably not, because that's a weird

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Xfinity's like, don't worry.

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I'll monitor the WI Fi. It's completely proactive, fixing issues before they even happen. Bottom line, Xfinity is smart and reliable. You deserve the peace of mind of having WI Fi that's got your back. Xfinity. Imagine that.

[Josiah]

Hey, this is U.S. olympic gold medalist Tara Davis Woodhull.

[Kai]

And I'm U.S. paralympic gold medalist Hunter Woodhull.

[Josiah]

As athletes, our lives are about having

[Kai]

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[Josiah]

So when it came to getting the

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[Kai]

And you learn more at pennymac.com pennymac loan services, llc/housing lender nmls id 35953 licensed by the Department of Financial Protection and Innovation under the California Residential Mortgage Lending Act. Conditions and restrictions may apply.

[Josiah]

Did you know that parents rank teaching financial literacy as the toughest life skill? That's where Greenlight comes in. The debit card and money app made for families. With greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly, set up chores, automate allowance, and track spending with real time notifications. Kids learn how to earn, save, and spend responsibly, while parents have peace of mind knowing smart money habits are being built with guardrails in place. Try Greenlight Risk free [e-mail] iheart that's greenlight.com iheart girl, but they ripped up

[Drew]

a photo of his dead dad, which is crazy. Also, also, also, the lead girl, he's already dead.

[Josiah]

Second of all, I'm just gonna reprint the fucking picture.

[Drew]

Yeah, but bullying him, like, leading the charge has the wrong case for her iPhone. She has, like, an iPhone with three camera lenses.

[Josiah]

You see one of the lenses peeking out?

[Drew]

Yes. Literally. Literally, literally.

[Josiah]

You know what that is? She's definitely using her own phone, and nobody on production thought it was, like, important enough to get her the right case.

[Drew]

It's like they. They saw this cheetah print case, and we were like, fudge, we don't have a phone for this fucking. Y' all seen Punch the monkey? What Is that the little monkey that's getting bullied?

[Josiah]

No.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Yeah. What's the latest with Punch?

[Drew]

Well, he was adopted, but they lied, and now he's back with his plushie, and the. Now the monkeys are bullying him and Taking his plushie from him. His plushie mama.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Because the last time I tuned in was he was taken in by a monkey.

[Drew]

That was literally the. They, like, they shunned him again. Oh, so he's all alone.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Yeah. Interesting. Do you think Punch? Kind of. I feel like there's maybe he's every story in Punch.

[Drew]

He's annoying.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

It's doing something off camera that we don't know about.

[Drew]

Yeah, Punch is annoying.

[Josiah]

I haven't seen anything about this.

[Drew]

It's. It honestly made me tear up. Like, the. There's, like, a compilation of this, like, baby monkey getting beaten the fuck up by other monkeys in this zoo enclosure.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

They're, like, spinning it around, and it's, like, rolling on the ground.

[Drew]

Yeah. And, like, it doesn't have a family. It's an orphan. So his family is this monkey. Monkey plushie. And the other monkeys, like, beat up his mom. His monkey mom. But it's a plushie. And, like, try to break it, but it's kind of raising, like, a question in my head where I'm like, girl, like, this is, like, actually abusive, and it's drawing big crowds. So it's like, it's beneficial for the zoo to have these monkeys beat this baby monkey up. But at one. At a certain point, you're like, okay, this is literally like a crime. Like, this is animal abuse. This is like a fight ring. Ring. And so they basically, they need to give this baby monkey his own enclosure because it's actually dangerous.

[Josiah]

Yeah. While y' all are, like, being distracted by what the government is choosing to push in your face, I've been busy keeping up with real news, so that's kind of why I haven't.

[Drew]

Like, what?

[Josiah]

Oh, you know, like, so much stuff. I've been re. Watching all the Muppets.

[Drew]

That's. That's the real news.

[Josiah]

I. I watched Muppets from space. I restarted it it, like, four times. I love that movie.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Okay, well, no one's checked in with me about what I went through.

[Drew]

ASU frat guy got in a car crash and died.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Okay.

[Josiah]

Who is that? What is that?

[Drew]

He died.

[Josiah]

Who is he?

[Drew]

The guy that framed Mod Clavicular. He got in a car crash and died.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Okay.

[Drew]

I'm dead serious.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Is that real?

[Kai]

Yes.

[Drew]

And no one. It's crazy how fast the trend cycle moves. Like, no one is talking about it.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

No one cares.

[Drew]

No one cares.

[Josiah]

Wait, I can't tell if you're being serious.

[Drew]

I'm being dead serious.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

That's crazy.

[Josiah]

Well, I don't even know what the origin I'm kidding story. So I'm having a hard time.

[Drew]

I'm giving actor boots though.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

You're not giving actor boots. You just took away from my thing, which is that I went through something very scary. I was in the blizzard in New York, for those of you that don't know who are listening.

[Josiah]

And when I was inside a building,

[Unidentified Male Guest]

no, I actually had to move places. I had to move places because I got a hotel room because I was like, I'm going to be here for this day. And then they. My flight got canceled so I had to get a new hotel.

[Drew]

And who created the system and who set that up?

[Josiah]

Yeah, what do you mean who set that? Yeah, no, on a plane all by themselves. Went there and was like, fudge it. I'm not going to stay one day. I'm not going say today. I'm going to fudge it. Stay here.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Okay, well, I had to stay there for work. I was doing work. But you better work. I sent photos to you guys of like five feet of snow that happened in like six hours. And Anya just responded with an audio message of her crying, laughing.

[Josiah]

Should we play it? It was. Dude, I was having an amazing.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Yeah, let's play the reaction.

[Josiah]

Dude. I literally woke up that morning. Oh my gosh. My group chat with my girls was popping. It was so funny and fun. And then I go and pull up the reaction. Boohoo. Crying about the weather, mind you. Oh my God. And then in la, I wasn't even crying.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I was just sending, I was sending pictures of.

[Josiah]

And in la, it was so beautiful out.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Okay, So hard that the mic is peeking. That's, that's up.

[Josiah]

I was just having a great time because what am I supposed to do? Feel bad for you? So what, you had to move it through snow? Snow. That sucks. That does suck. Yeah, that sucks.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

It does suck. And it's life threatening weather and it was a state of emergency.

[Josiah]

Life threatening in what sense did you

[Drew]

get the $30 an hour shoveling gig?

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I did, but I didn't even take the money. I said, keep the money.

[Josiah]

You were accidentally shoveling cuz you were dragging your carry on through the snow.

[Drew]

Know what I did?

[Josiah]

You were just making a path by accident.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

No, no, I saw this little old woman, she was shoveling ice and snow and I said, you know what, I'll take care of that. You go inside and you stay warm and shit. And then she was like, oh well, here's like $30. Whatever.

[Drew]

You said keep it.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I said, you need to keep that.

[Drew]

Well, what I did Is I went. I went to. And I got. I went and got a shovel and then worked for 18 hours, but I didn't actually work. I just stayed inside playing PS5. And then I returned the shovel and I got 30 hours. Or 18 hours of that $30 to

[Unidentified Male Guest]

work on your drop Shipping company.

[Drew]

Yeah, I collected my unemployment.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

It was life threatening.

[Josiah]

The thing is, you keep saying that and absolutely nothing else has followed. Like, you haven't said a single, like, part of this story that cut me off.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

But I. I was walking around and the wind was so intense and there

[Drew]

were ice shards flying.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I'm not joking. I get the reaction from Enya. I'm outside when I get it, and it's her screaming, like, laughing. And the wind is so intense that you can't even open your eyes.

[Josiah]

And who told you to? One, be outside? Two, on your phone?

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I had to find a new place to sleep that night.

[Josiah]

Why are you on your phone doing all this? See, you're addicted to that damn phone.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I was sending you on the ground reporting, like, all gas, no breaks.

[Josiah]

Literally 18 other people live on Instagram and.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Yeah. Why would you do that to Kai? Like, he. His life was in danger. Stranger.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Okay, so, like, how long did it. I'm. How did you move? I'm confused.

[Drew]

Like, at what point was putting this on a woman?

[Josiah]

Like, it's like, her job, my mother nature or some. Like, I did that to you. I didn't do that.

[Drew]

Like, she was laughing because she was having a good time. Like, you hate seeing.

[Josiah]

Well, I don't know why you have to compare my joy of the day with what.

[Drew]

Okay, but anyway, he literally could have died. There was, like, glass shards flying at his face, and it was. It was a state of emergency. It was really cool.

[Josiah]

Glasses on.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

They're not fake. These are real.

[Josiah]

Okay, but they helped.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

No, they helped a little bit. Why are you wearing. And I looked this up. I was like, why isn't this helping my eyeballs from being in so much pain? It creates a vortex. When the wind's that heavy, it creates a vortex over the glasses. Like, you know when you have those visualizations of cars with the airstream and it. It, like, pushes the. It pushes the crystals of ice into your eyeballs.

[Kai]

His eyeballs.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

So it doesn't even help. It doesn't even help.

[Josiah]

Okay, so you were there. There. It was starting to look like, okay, you were the. You were there the weekend. Okay, you're hearing whispers. You're hearing whispers of a blizzard. It's like, okay, if I Did the math personally. I'm just saying. Personally and your humanzor, if I'm there Sunday, it hasn't started snowing yet. Oh. Oh, it's gonna be six feet tomorrow. You know what I'm gonna do? Get my funky ass up right now and move all my. Because I don't want to do that in the snow. Oh, but what did Kai do? Well, he was like, wait, I'm gonna hold out and see if science is real. Mr. Believes in science and has a computer from his phone. Like, the computer.

[Drew]

Oh, they made it. They're making a new MacBook that has iPhone chip in it.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Okay, well, the reason why I couldn't leave is because I had. I. I don't think I've even mentioned this, but I'm directing something that's gonna be on Netflix. I really. I literally don't even know if I've talked about this at all.

[Drew]

Wait, what are you directing on now?

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I'm directing Mary Beth Brun's debut comedy special.

[Josiah]

She's trusting someone like you with that.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

She's trusting me. Who's. I'm responsible. But I had to be there the night, the day of to location scout, and in a very kind of like, sexy, masculine way, direct over 30 people doing different jobs, delegating different jobs. So I couldn't miss that. So I had to stay there, there. So that's why I didn't leave. Also, I just wasn't really afraid. So, like, I didn't even think.

[Drew]

Oh, so then why. What is the. What is the issue? That's how I'm like, if you weren't scared.

[Josiah]

What do you want? What do you want from this? What are you going to gain from this?

[Unidentified Male Guest]

All I'm saying is, like, I sent. I sent you some photographic proof of my trauma, and then you laughed at it. And then when he didn't get the

[Josiah]

response he liked, he went and posted it on his close friends with no words. No words, no music. Just. Just like.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Yeah, because I couldn't see. I was like, all I can do is post this on the ground and

[Drew]

pray someone find on the ground reporting.

[Josiah]

Pray somebody who's really good at that geological game sees these photos and is just like, I know exactly where he is. Then the end.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Trust in institutions is crumbling, and it. People rely on people like me to do boots on the ground reporting, like, all gas, no breaks, vibes.

[Josiah]

You're perfect.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Just. They're like, oh, thank you.

[Josiah]

Oh, look, it silenced him. That's all you wanted.

[Drew]

Okay, But Ned from Try Guys is crashing Out. What he's crashing out from Try Guys is crashing.

[Josiah]

I saw a video of him when he was cheating. I was like, damn, he was deep.

[Drew]

Like, he didn't give a.

[Josiah]

He thought that was gonna be his. Like, the way he taps that girl's head in the one video I saw when they're dancing, I'm like, damn. He thought this was for life. He was like, you know what?

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Apparently crashing out.

[Drew]

Yes, he's posting on Twitter. Like, one of his dating profiles got docked, but it's like a public dating profile. But anyways, it got, like, leaked. And so he screenshotted every one of his. He's been screenshotting every one of his photos and explaining, like, why he used the photo. And, like, one of them was, like, a photo of them on his honeymoon that his wife took. Another one was like, him with a wedding ring on. And then his. Like, his big thing was like, oh, well, like, I am, like, poly. And I'm like, baby, you're not poly.

[Kai]

You're.

[Drew]

You cheated on your wife.

[Josiah]

You have a sex addiction.

[Drew]

Yeah, you are addicted to sex addiction.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

You're poly. That's so funny.

[Drew]

And he says he's dominant. And I'm tired of bitches saying they're dom and they're not actually dom. Like, you're not dom.

[Josiah]

Yeah, no, you think you're dominant because you have the. Like, the import chord. Like, does that make sense? Like, he just. In his head, he's like, well, I have the penis, so I'm dominant, like, as it goes.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

When in reality, it's much more nude nuanced than that. So I totally agree with you.

[Josiah]

I need to see these posts because I need to see the pictures. Also, I would argue that. Why are you on a dating app, you dumb. Like, you're mad thirsty. And not to say anything against people, like, the average person who's on a dating app, but someone like that. The whole point of a dating app to me is to, like. It's like the singles ad in newspapers. I'm like, that's a tale as old as time time. But you're kind of like a household name. Maybe not in the best regard. Why are you on a dating app? Like, you know, everyone who sees you is gonna be like, oh, my God, this is the guy. Like, you're asking for it. So maybe he's Paulie with a kink shame. And he doesn't know that yet.

[Drew]

Okay, so it's this one.

[Josiah]

Oh, hell no.

[Drew]

And he says, this one's nuts. And Tukashimi from the ERAS tour. But the beard was strong. Whatever. I'm a single dad on a dating app. Here's my living out my life. 2024. Wedding. Wedding ring is confusing. But, hey, half the people on here are pa, Holly, hot tub, Mountain man, I don't know. And he's. He's going through and raiding all of them. Which, like, part of me is like,

[Josiah]

this is a. A terrifying photo, by the way, of him in the hot tub. Like, maybe it is good. He's doing this because he should be told that that's awful.

[Drew]

He says, hulk. Wait, you got to read. You got to reread them.

[Josiah]

Hulk costume. Halloween, 2022. When I was in treatment, stress, anxiety, depression. Had my weight down to 155, which is way too low. 170. Better. But my abs look defined, and I'm painted green, so whatever.

[Drew]

This is Kai.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

No, it's not.

[Josiah]

Dude, love this one. I tried kite surfing in Greece this summer. Little goofy shows. Something extreme. That's not extreme. Extreme. You want to be extreme? Just be like, yo, I got. I got outed two millions that I'm a cheater now I'm poly. You want to play or no? Paulie, want a cracker or no? Like, that's what you should be doing if you want to be funny.

[Drew]

That's the ultimate, like, real is just like.

[Josiah]

Yeah, because there's something. So it's. There's something humiliating about trying to, like, nonchalant your way through that. I feel like you have to just take that to the chest. Like, listen, listen. We all get caught up slipping. You got caught slipping in a crazy way. Let's sit down for a while. It's not the Olympics. You don't have to do the thing that girl did where she, like, tore her acl and she was like, it. But the Olympics are next week. I gotta go. I gotta make it. No, you're not in the Olympics of love, baby. You.

[Drew]

Oh, my gosh. Winter Olympics. Alyssa.

[Josiah]

I know. She's so gangster, bro.

[Drew]

She's so far, literally so kind.

[Josiah]

It's almost like if you let girls. And like I've said before, specifically teenage girls, who I think are some of the smartest people in the world, if you just let them do what they want. Oh, my God. There's great results because women are naturally way more smart than men. Whoa.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I 100 agree with that.

[Josiah]

Oh, my God. Shut up.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I feel like me and Drew connected, like, energetically when you said that, where we both were like, yeah, absolutely.

[Drew]

She's so fierce. I watch her routine, like, once a day and literally tear up and almost cry because goosebumps.

[Kai]

So good.

[Drew]

Literally good. And then she skated to stateside, which I thought was. Was kind of. And then, oh, my God, when she's getting off the ice and she says, that's what I'm talking about, into the Olympic camera. I'm like, yes, we need more of this. We need more of this. Whatever this is.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I don't like that she swore, but I do like the sentiment.

[Josiah]

I don't like that she danced to a song that actually isn't from Americans. She danced to a song from a Swedish person and someone from the uk. A lot of y' all had a lot to say about Bad Bunny.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Oh, Harrison producer. He's an America, huh? Harrison produced Stateside. Yeah, he's American.

[Josiah]

He looks British.

[Kai]

I know.

[Josiah]

Yeah, he's not.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

He's not beating.

[Josiah]

Yeah, that's not. That's not American.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

I don't know a lot, but I know that's not an American.

[Drew]

Yeah, he's like 21 savage.

[Josiah]

That's why he's been mad quiet, because I haven't seen him out and about at all. The second I started popping up, he was like, let me lay low. Let me Lay Low.

[Drew]

Wait, 21 Savage.

[Josiah]

Being British.

[Drew]

Being British, my favorite image.

[Josiah]

Rarely do I see a photo specifically of, like, very rich people and think I, like, I feel morally aligned. Like, I feel, like, seen in a very real way. 21 Savage pressing up against the wall in that one.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. Like, getting a far. As far away as possible.

[Josiah]

I'm like, wow, that's. That's gorgeous. It's like a Renaissance painting. It's like, there's, like, mythical tales to that photo. That photo is going to be, like, found in 30 years. People are literally gonna be like, whoa. Okay, okay, okay, Wait, wait, wait. Let's start connecting dots because this is crazy. Like, this is real. This is crazy. Have you not seen that?

[Unidentified Male Guest]

That's the greatest thing to come out

[Josiah]

of the Super Bowl. And then lotto posting it, she actually. She didn't post the photo photo. She just posted a black screen with. From the window to the wall to the wall. Just with that.

[Drew]

Because that's so funny.

[Josiah]

Love it. Love it.

[Kai]

Love.

[Josiah]

I love it. I love it. I love it.

[Drew]

Shall we do media?

[Josiah]

Yes. Oh, wait. One thing I will say is Barry Keoghan, not the time. We let that slide because Sabrina had you toting around. She. You were her little pet shop toy. We were like, he's, like, backing out, and I Think it's like they're letting him out of the cage because of that whole Beatles thing they're getting up to. I don't want to see him. I don't want to see him. And I don't want to see him with that hat that has hair connected to it.

[Drew]

Oh, wait, wait.

[Josiah]

That guy on stream.

[Drew]

Yes, that man. Insert the video.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Is it the guy that gets his hair?

[Drew]

What's crazy, though, is, like, we did that seven years ago.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew]

As a bit.

[Josiah]

The thing is, like, you're gonna beat someone up because you got caught. Lacking. If you gave that much of a. And it was that serious, why is there no tape?

[Drew]

Why is there no gorilla glue?

[Josiah]

Yeah. Also, you know what's crazy is my favorite part is the hat and the hair are connected. Because the hair, the hat gets taken off of the head via the hair. And the hat doesn't fly anywhere. The hat, like the hat and the hair is still in that boy's possession when it gets ripped off.

[Kai]

Off.

[Josiah]

Which also cracks me up because he did that because he would be able to adjust his wig all night by gripping his cap down. And that's like a very, like, guy, like, chill thing to do. Like, that's normal.

[Drew]

Eating from the side or chopping it with a knife.

[Josiah]

He was adjusting his wig on that whole stream. But like, to the oncoming view, to like a passing viewer before it got snatched off, it just seems like he's fixing that. But Loki, every time he does that, you know that in his edge, he's like, oh, my wig is living back.

[Drew]

I'm a little sweaty. Yeah, the top of my head is sweaty.

[Josiah]

Like, and again, you. You just can't take it like a champ, you loser. That UFC fighter literally got his toupe knocked off of his head. He didn't have it swept off at a public fair. On stream? No, on public access tv. He got his toupee that was glued down, knocked off of his head. Did a post fight. Talk about it cracking up. You went and beat the little kid up because your wig isn't on your head. Right. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy work.

[Drew]

Put me in a black pillow edit.

[Josiah]

So, yeah, I'm really not into guys with hats and hair right now. Cut it out, Barry Keogan.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Specifically, the hat with the hair connected. That's so funny.

[Josiah]

Like, that's crazy. Okay, well, my media of the week is your mom's stinky fucking pussy.

[Drew]

And it's been fingered all crazy style.

[Josiah]

And I've been biting my nails Extra recently, so it burns.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

That's disgusting.

[Drew]

My media is your dad's tight, hairy little butthole.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I actually don't have media.

[Drew]

I watched the first two episodes of Neighbors, and that show is a masterpiece. Specifically the second episode. I was watching it and.

[Josiah]

Well, you like the second episode because that's your, like, your debut. That's your TV debut.

[Drew]

Yeah, that's me. But no, I, I, I was watching it and the first episode, I was like, oh, I'm kind of having a hard time keeping up. It's really quick, really fast. The second episode, once I realized, like, that was the style, I was like, oh, I can get into this. And I was literally, like, tearing up, not from the content, but because, like, something incredible was being created. Like, does that make sense? I was like, this is is so good. And you were spot on. Like, that's literally what I want to do with my life. What the. I farted?

[Josiah]

No, the rats who are harboring in your chair, like, talking to each other. Yeah. My only media is I've been re listening to the dochi tiny desk. Dochi. Willow and Kalila, I think have the best tiny desks and Pink Panther Thris. And clips.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

What about clips?

[Josiah]

Serena?

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Sabrina's tiny.

[Josiah]

I really like Sabrina's.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I thought it was really good. Did you say Sabrina's?

[Josiah]

No.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Okay. I just.

[Josiah]

But that's okay.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

That's okay.

[Josiah]

It's, it's not in my, like, last

[Unidentified Male Guest]

meals, but yeah, I thought it was incredible. I, I thought it was so good.

[Josiah]

I eat everything, so I'll eat it. But it's not like, need not. But I like it. I really do. I love it. But I, to me, there's just better Sabrina performances is, like, that's, like, not her best to me. It's, like, good. But, you know, she has the vocals. I want to see some freaky. I want, I want you to play a song for me that I've listened to over and over again. But I think that might also be it because I'm kind of newer to Sabrina's discog in general. Like, I'm definitely one of the newer people who she got a hold of in the past, like, three years. Khalila, I've been listening to for, like, 10 years. Willow, I've been listening to for, like, 10 years. Dochi I've been listening to for, Like, 10 years. But that Dochi, that's like.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[Josiah]

I think that is, like, the best tiny desk they've done, like, in so long. It's so good. It Almost makes it like I can't listen to her album because I love the tiny desk so much that, like, all of the, like, things they did with it. I'm, like, anticipating hearing it on the album and then when I don't, it's, like, sad.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

My media is industry. I am watching it and I know that it gets good at some point, but I don't like it.

[Drew]

He's apparently doing gangbusters.

[Josiah]

Well, imagine how it's felt to be your friend this long.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Josiah]

We had to stick it out.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

How did you do that? That was impressive. Actually.

[Drew]

I've been trying as well.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I'm trying. I'm on episode.

[Drew]

I'm giving it a chance.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

And everyone tells me you don't even have to watch the first season, but that feels wrong, you know? So anyway, JFK Love Story, too.

[Drew]

JFK Loves Story.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Oh, yeah.

[Josiah]

I still haven't.

[Drew]

So I don't know why. It's like, I literally love that show. I don't know.

[Josiah]

Tyrell was showing me some of the soundtrack and it uses some of the best music. And without a doubt, I was tweaking the entire time. Put the worst thing. And I'm not saying anything about Love Story because I haven't watched it yet. And I do anticipate that I'll like it, but it's kind of like I didn't watch Sex in the City.

[Drew]

I don't know if you'll like it.

[Josiah]

The Carry Diaries to me was the greatest show of all time. Time. It's a good show. And that main girl in love with her, Austin Butler is in it. The soundtrack is really what, like, carried that because it's like, like quintessential 80s. Like, especially that one. Tyra was showing me that, like, New Order, Duran Duran. It's like everyone that's like, it's literally.

[Drew]

It's.

[Josiah]

I wish I was there.

[Drew]

And it also, like, literally makes me want to smoke cigarettes so bad. And I actually think this is going to be the thing that makes me smoke cigarettes. Yeah, you her on screen. Their on screen chemistry is like the best I think I've ever seen. Like, it's. It's really, really wild. I don't know what general consensus is on this show. I could be like, swinging and missing crazy. But for me personally, like, I am obsessed with this show and it's like the first show in a long time where I'm like, fudge. Like, I have to wait a week. Like, that sucks ass.

[Josiah]

That's how I feel about the new season of could have Been Love.

[Drew]

Oh yeah. That is a masterpiece as well.

[Josiah]

Dude, he's insane. Oh, wait, that I will watch it because the last like on screen chemistry I feel like I've seen that really had me captivated as was. Oh my God. In the OJ series with what's or nuts. Sarah Paulson. Is that her name? Sarah Paul? Yeah, Sarah Paulson. And then the other guy, lead actor who's like her lawyer. Who their chemistry. Oh my God. It makes also it makes that actor so attractive to me because then he's an insecure. And I literally was like, my man's back from work from fighting, from fighting against oj.

[Drew]

But that Sarah pigeon girl, she's gonna be a superstar. Like she won like no. Shade is literally like one of the hottest people I've ever seen. And it's partly because of her character, but she is just so fucking stunning. Like I'm literally like my breath gets taken away every time.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Wow, this is so well kept cast.

[Drew]

No, it's awesome.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

It looks so similar to the original Paul.

[Drew]

Anthony Kelly, bad as trade. I think the only reason he got the job was cuz he has a hairy chest, which per. Give it to me. Show me more. Show it to me, Rachel.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I want.

[Josiah]

Show me to me, Rachel.

[Drew]

I think he's straight. The like that's fine. But if you cover his nose, mouth and just show his eyes, I kind of look like him.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

You do kind of look like him.

[Drew]

Wait, cover his nose?

[Unidentified Male Guest]

I know.

[Josiah]

Yeah. Cover a majority of his face.

[Unidentified Male Guest]

Yeah, no, this really kind of. That, that could be Drew. Yeah, I'm just covering the lips down by the way.

[Drew]

Yeah. I mean we even got a mustache together. But like if he got a mustache together, if he was gay, that's mine.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew]

I'll find a way. I'll make it happen.

[Josiah]

If there's a will, there's a way. All right, well, by. If you're an H Vac technician and a call comes in, Grainger knows that you need a partner that helps you find the right product. Product fast and hassle free. And you know that when the first problem of the day is a clanking blower motor, there's no need to break a sweat. With Grainger's easy to use website and product details, you're confident you'll soon have everything humming right along. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click granger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done. Picture this. Me, Reese Witherspoon in London, ordering fishermen so often they might start wrapping me in paper. I'm traveling with my Wells Fargo Autograph Journey card. So I earn rewards wherever I book. Travel five times points with hotels, four times with airlines, three times on restaurants and other travel, and one point on other purchases. Imagine getting rewarded for eating a toad in the hole. Wait, what is a toad in a hole?

[Kai]

Visit Wells Fargo.com autographjourney Terms apply. Hey, this is Ryan Seacrest from On

[Drew]

Air with Ryan Seac Seacrest.

[Kai]

This message brought to you by Pizza Hut. What's your go to game day pizza order?

[Josiah]

Maybe the big New Yorker?

[Kai]

Exactly. It's Pizza Hut's biggest pizza.

[Drew]

Massive slices so big you gotta fold them.

[Josiah]

And it's only 10 bucks. That is crazy.

[Drew]

Do the math.

[Kai]

It's a big deal. Try to name another meal deal.

[Podcast Host/Announcer]

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[Josiah]

It's a strategy.

[Kai]

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[Josiah]

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[Drew]

It matters that CVS is here to

[Josiah]

fill your prescriptions and here to fill your craving for a tasty and, yeah, healthy snack. At cvs, we're proud to serve your community because we believe where you get your medicine matters. So Visit [e-mail] or just come by ourselves Store. We can't wait to meet you. Store hours vary by location. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.