← Emotional Badass
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Hello. Welcome to the show. I'm your host, Nicky Eisenhower, life coach and psychotherapist. And this is emotional Badass, where moxie meets mindful. On today's episode, I'm discussing how you may be emotionally constipated. All right, y', all, welcome to this almost gross episode of Emotional Badass. Sometimes when we're talking about emotion, our mental processes, our thought patterns, we're so disconnected from the body. There's so much emotional intelligence within this bodily system, y', all, that is right here as its own guru. It is our own system, and it can teach us so much. So I want to use the fact that, you know the famous children's book that teaches kids to potty train? Everybody poops. It's true. And everybody gets constipated sometimes. Everybody has diarrhea sometimes. These are the real, real human things that we deal with every single day of our lives. Sometimes when it comes to our emotion, it's like we like to pretend that emotion is something that we should deal with in little spurts. Or we can put it on the shelf and deal with it later. And imagine if we did that with our digestion. Imagine if you took a day and just decided, no, I'm not going to go to the bathroom today. Stop it, body. Stop trying to go to the bathroom. Yet that is so common and normalized in our westernized culture, especially to just say, don't cry. Stop crying. You can even hear it when people are calling in. On the new call in episode, when people get emotional, even in sessions with me, first thing you say is, I'm sorry, I'm crying. I'm sorry, I'm crying. Imagine if we were sorry when we had to go to the bathroom and we went to the bathroom. Yet we put this on ourselves. Society puts this blockage, this stoppage. Yes. This emotional constipation on us. So thank you for humoring me as we talk about emotional constipation today. Light and love and onto the show. Signs you're emotionally constipated. All right, Ellen, Nothing teaches a concept like getting a little gross and talking about the human body. Right? So we all know about constipation, Right? Real constipation. And I don't know about you, but for me, oh, my goodness, is that the most miserable feeling? Many of us are walking around emotionally constipated. Yes. Even you, highly sensitive person like me who emotes and feels a lot. And so what is a sign that you know you're emotionally constipated? What is a sign of Being emotionally constipated. Okay, number one, a sign of being emotionally constipated is that you say, I'm sorry, right when you start emoting. And what you're doing right there in that moment is you're trying to hold it in. You're trying to squish it down. Maybe you have multiple reasons for squishing it down and holding it in. Maybe people have shamed you. Maybe you're embarrassed. Maybe people have told you something's wrong with your sensitivity. You're too sensitive. Stop it. The number one thing people say if I start to cry, if any of us do, is, oh, no, don't cry. So we think we're. We're not allowed. So we stuff it. Well, what happens to your physical body if you don't let your poop out? You get constipated. What happens to our emotional bodies if we don't let the emotion that's. That's rising, that's saying, hey, I want to go somewhere, I want to release, I want to come out. If we squish it down, we emotionally constipate ourselves. Here's another sign. You may be emotionally constipated. You may leak out at inopportune moments, moments where you're alone, moments where you get overwhelmed. I have a saying that if you don't let it out naturally and let it flow it, it will come out later, sideways. And what I mean by that is that it'll come out in some other way. In times in my life when I've been emotionally constipated because I didn't know how to allow myself to let it up and out. A baby smile in the store may have me weeping and not just a little tearful, oh, look at that beautiful baby sort of teariness, a crying that definitely was coming from another place. Here's another sign. You may be emotionally constipated. When starting to feel emotion rise, you run away in hiding. The same way if you felt your stomach starting to gurgle or felt a pressure to go to the bathroom, you'd leave the room and run to the bathroom. When we want to go to the bathroom and release, we want privacy, right? There's something reasonable about that. But in the human condition, there's a fine line between wanting privacy and. And stuffing and hiding our feelings in a way that stops us up. That. That jams up our natural process. We want flow. Flow in the body, flow in all ways. Flow in the blood, flow in the breath, flow in the bowels. We don't grow up getting that Kind of permission and encouragement about our emotionality do we? Most messages in society tell you to emotionally constipate yourself. So another sign of emotional constipation may be in general, growing up in the west, being an American over here, where people go, don't cry right away the second we start to emote. A sign of emotional constipation may be avoidance or denial of your own emotional process and feelings. What do I mean by that? Let's say you're my friend and I say, hey, what's going on? Seems like something's going on. You seem upset or you seem edgy, and you go, no, I'm fine. Do you see how right there in the moment, you're holding on to something, you're stuffing it when I'm inviting it to come out, and you're choosing in that moment to hold it, to say, no, it can't come out. The more that we do that, just like with our physical bodies, the more that we hold, it starts to muck up the works of that flow of how it comes out. A sign of emotional constipation is that at times you go from showing no emotion to volcanoing emotion out. Believe it or not, anger is not always anger, and it's often embarrassment, shame, resentment, burnout with anger on top. So if you volcanically explode, you may have to learn how to release and release and release with more ease and more frequency so it doesn't build up and come out like a volcano blowing. At that point, it goes from emotional constipation to emotional diarrhea. Our pendulum swing in life, and when we're stuffing stuff, it's going to come out and explode. You get to balance in the middle. I hope today's episode was so maybe off the wall that it helps you forever remember and never forget. You are allowed to have flow in all things, in bodily functions, in emotional release, in grieving and moving through your life and moving forward. The more flow and ease we have, the better, y'. All. I hope today's episode helped you remember and hold on to this. I hope the next time you hear somebody say, wait, no, don't cry. You have to thought, oh, they're emotionally constipating themselves. When someone cries in my space, I often say, it's okay, or, thank you for crying, or just let that out. I hope that's a message that you take to heart, to body, but definitely to emotion. I want to thank you for being a listener. If you're new, thank you. If you've been with me for many years, thank you so much. So obviously, I am not for everyone. If you resonate with the way that I teach, the way that I present concepts, if it helps things click in for you, I want you to know that you are invited to come do some deep peace training with me through my new breakthrough Peace program. Just come on over to the website, book a call with Lyft just to see if this is a good right fit for you. And if it's not, no pressure, we will turn you on to whatever will actually really help you in this moment, in this season of your life. Emotionalbadass.com Peace. I'm an emotional badass. You are an emotional badass. And together we are where moxie meets mindful light and love. And I'll see you right here next time for a brand new episode. Till then, take care of yourselves out there. Bye Bye. Don't.