We Survived The Challenge Retreat: Why Pushing Limits Is the Ultimate Growth Tool

Summary

Podcast Summary: Emotional Badass

Episode: We Survived The Challenge Retreat: Why Pushing Limits Is the Ultimate Growth Tool
Date: September 28, 2025
Host: Nikki Eisenhauer (with co-host Chris Iacono)

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Overview

In this episode, Nikki Eisenhauer and co-host/producer Chris Iacono share their transformative experience attending Emily Schromm's "Challenge Retreat" in Northern California. They explore how doing difficult, out-of-the-comfort-zone activities leads to personal growth, healing old wounds, and building enduring connections. The discussion weaves together insights on emotional health, the challenge of physical exertion, and finding authentic community as highly sensitive people (HSPs).

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why They Attended the Challenge Retreat (00:14 – 01:17)

• Both were exhausted—Chris had just lost his dad, and work/life was overwhelming, making them consider canceling.
• Despite their fatigue, they prioritized attending for self-care and new experiences.
• “This was much needed and so glad we ended up following through with it and going. And it was the best experience of my life.” —Chris (01:07)

2. Setting & Arrival (02:41 – 06:45)

• Location: A scenic, 700-acre ranch near Casadero, California. Fresh produce, animals, eco-accommodations.
• Nikki and Chris rented a camper van for privacy and reflection, learning it wasn’t their ideal style but valuing the personal space.
• Initial nerves about group dynamics and influencer-level documentation dissolved thanks to friendly photographers and participants.

3. Structure of the Retreat & The First Challenge (06:45 – 17:18)

• Retreat included participants (about 45) and support staff; some former “Challenge” TV cast acted as liaisons and helpers.
• Day one started with an unexpected physically demanding uphill race, leading into team assignments and a group puzzle.
• “Everyone was able to complete the challenge, and there was… no judgment whatsoever about anybody who couldn’t.” —Chris (11:00)
• Teams were balanced by skill levels, fostering support and camaraderie over cutthroat competition.

4. The Magic of Teamwork & Emotional Restoration (17:18 – 20:44)

• Both Nikki and Chris note the novelty and relief of being cared for by their teams, instead of being the default emotional caretakers.
• Team captains showed genuine support, asking about each person’s motivational and communication style.
• Nikki appreciated being “deeply seen” and supported, both practically and emotionally.

5. Daily Flow of the Retreat (23:15 – 27:34)

• Each day began with meditation, followed by nourishing homegrown meals and a major physical team challenge.
• Afternoons provided options: rest, workshops (e.g., beekeeping, yoga, sound baths, cacao ceremonies), free time, or socializing.
• Evenings featured healing group events.
• “None of the people drained us” and Nikki was surprised to feel so energized by others (25:49).

6. Community & Healing Old Wounds (27:34 – 30:57)

• Many attendees were HSPs or emotionally attuned, seeking growth and authentic connection.
• The inclusive atmosphere contrasted with childhood or teen experiences of social exclusion.
• “If anybody teared up, it was like, go ahead and cry. It really was my people in terms of emotionality.” —Nikki (25:49)
• Welcomed by others, Nikki felt that universal “where do I sit in the cafeteria?” wound healed.

7. The Final Challenge & Surprising Themselves (30:57 – 36:17)

• Each team faced a lengthy, multi-stage challenge combining physical feats and mental puzzles.
• Chris’s team, initially lagging, surged ahead and Chris finished unexpectedly in fourth place.
• “I did not think I had that in me. That’s the big point... I had to reach down and challenge myself in a way I never have before.” —Chris (34:39)
• Both hosts discuss the transformational impact of pushing through pain and discomfort and the lessons in teamwork.

8. Reflections on Growth, Comfort Zones, and Future Retreats (36:17 – 40:14)

• Both stress that growth lies outside the comfort zone—they advocate for seeking out challenging experiences, even if messy or scary.
• The experience convinced Nikki she’d like to host future retreats herself.
• “Sometimes you try it and you risk it. And it’s not like this… Don’t let that make you give up. This is gonna inspire me to really put together our own retreat.” —Nikki (36:40)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On being supported:
  “It was really nice for me to let other people take care of me in that way.” —Nikki (17:18)
• On healthy group dynamics:
  “It even healed that little part of me that used to feel nervous walking into a new place wondering, will anyone make a spot for me?” —Nikki (28:30)
• On pushing limits:
  “It makes me feel alive. And it gave me confidence that I needed in that moment.” —Chris (34:39)
• On teamwork & sensitivity:
  “These are my people. Like, they think like I do.” —Nikki (17:18)
• On growth:
  “It is true. When they say, like, lean into your growth edge, do those things that are hard, do the things that make you uncomfortable. It's fine to be in your comfort zone, but realize that almost nothing grows there.” —Chris (36:07)
• On embracing the unknown:
  “We live through such an information age where people want to know all the details and… they resent sometimes being put outside of their comfort zone instead of… embracing it as the stair steps of life that make us stronger.” —Nikki (38:12)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:14-01:17: Why they attended; context on recent grief and tiredness.
• 02:41-06:45: Arrival; glimpses of the ranch and accommodations.
• 07:57-17:18: Day one uphill challenge; friendly team competition.
• 17:18-20:44: The joy of being supported and included; healing emotional patterns.
• 23:15-27:34: Structure of retreat: food, meditation, activities, wellness events.
• 27:34-30:57: Healing, community, and inclusivity.
• 30:57-36:17: The final challenge and personal transformation.
• 36:17-40:14: Reflections on growth, planning future retreats, and advice.

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Additional Highlights

Horse Therapy Workshop (42:30 – 51:31)

• Nikki describes a moving experience doing energy/body work with rescued horses, noting parallels to the healing of highly sensitive people.
• The horse’s personality and trauma history provided deep, intuitive lessons on boundaries and trust.

“Good for the Soul” Segment – Money Mindset & Learning (52:14 – 58:09)

• Chris is working on his relationship with money, shifting from a scarcity to an abundance mentality and learning about investing and financial literacy.
• Nikki encourages listeners: “It’s not rocket science… it’s just about learning. Start putting your toe in the water.”

“Dear Internet” Advice Segment – The Cat Dilemma (59:17 – 68:29)

• A listener asks about living with four cats and an allergic fiancé.
• Nikki and Chris recommend honesty, real-world trial runs, and healthy negotiation—there’s no “right” answer except what fits each person’s true boundaries.

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Tone and Takeaways

The episode is heart-centered, honest, and encouraging. Both Nikki and Chris blend humor, lived experience, and practical self-development advice, modeling vulnerability along the way. Their message: pushing yourself out of comfort and allowing others to support you, especially in emotionally safe environments, is transformative and healing—no matter your age or sensitivity.

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Further Listening/Next Steps

• Interested in retreats? Check out Emily Schromm’s offerings at emilyschromm.com
• Want more? Subscribe to their Patreon for a behind-the-scenes photo/video recap, and watch for future Emotional Badass retreats.
• Upcoming: Nikki’s Boundaries Course (October 13th)—details at emotionalbadass.com/boundaries

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“Surprise yourself. Really surprise yourself. And it’s okay to do it crying. It’s okay to do it messy. Just make sure that you do it. You won’t even know what the payoff is till after.”
— Nikki Eisenhauer (39:17)

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Transcript

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Hello. Welcome to the show. This is emotional Badass where moxie meets mindful. I'm your host, Nikki Eisenhower, life coach and psychotherapist.

[Chris Iacono]

And I'm your co host, Chris Iacono, producer and producer.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

And on today's episode, we are discussing the Challenge Retreat season two that we.

[Chris Iacono]

Both participated in and why doing hard things helps us grow.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

If you can see us, we are wearing our challenge retreat yellow shirts. You can see that I am team Purple, Chris is team Green, and we're going to tell you what we did. And I think the funnest part about this is we had a lot of reasons that we could have not gone to this. Your dad died a few weeks before this. That's a lot of traveling for us to do. And then go do a trip and keep up with our production schedule and all of our work.

[Chris Iacono]

We've basically had no downtime the last six weeks.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yes.

[Chris Iacono]

And this was much needed and so glad we ended up following through with it and going. And it was the best experience of my life.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yay.

[Chris Iacono]

Really was. This was amazing.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

So I'm really excited to share it. And if you ever have a chance to do anything that Emily Schromm hosts, please take the opportunity. She really is a magical person and she pulls together magical people.

[Chris Iacono]

Yeah. Quick high level overview of the whole thing. This is a wellness retreat plus physical challenge run by Emily Schrom, who is a former cast member of the MTV show the Challenge. I think I don't know how many seasons she's been on or there's 40.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Something seasons of this show. This show has been on all of our adult lives, basically.

[Chris Iacono]

Yeah. And we've never seen it. So we had really no idea what to expect. But Emily was on the show for a bunch of different seasons and decided to put together the challenge retreat, which is open to the public. You have to sign up for it and go and do it. And that's really all we knew going into this thing, that it was going to be a combination of wellness and physical challenges. So we're like, okay, cool, let's do it, let's do it. But yeah, it was tough because we were a little kind of burnt out from the funeral. Didn't really know what to expect there. There was a meeting of everybody that was going to be at the retreat that we couldn't make because we were driving to the airport for the funeral that day. So we really kind of went to this thing blind. But yeah, we flew into San Francisco, landed in San Francisco, which is a beautiful city. I Love San Francisco. I think they've got a lot of cool stuff in San Francisco. Didn't get to hang out in San Francisco all that much, which I would have loved for you to have seen a little more of San Francisco.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yeah, we'll go back. There's a. I want to do a trip from San Francisco to see the redwoods. So we will definitely go back. But we stopped, we rented a van. A camper van.

[Chris Iacono]

Yep.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

So that was a whole separate part of this adventure. It's something we've never done before. We're campers, we're backpackers, but we haven't rented a van, camper, or a pull behind.

[Chris Iacono]

Yeah. Getting a camper is on our to do list at some point. So we're like, hey, let's just take this thing that we already don't know what we're gonna do, and let's combine another thing that we don't know. I think the camper van was probably the toughest thing that we dealt with that whole weekend.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

I don't think a camper van is our thing. I think we ruled it out. Just a little too small. And it was a lot of knocking our heads into things.

[Chris Iacono]

I still have bruises all over my head.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yeah.

[Chris Iacono]

And I'm sure I'm five, eight and a half on a good day.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yeah. I cannot imagine talk people in. In this.

[Chris Iacono]

My feet were hanging over the bed the entire time.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

But it did give me what I needed because the other option was to stay in a group setting. And I need a little more removal to kind of come back down to myself.

[Chris Iacono]

Yeah. The retreat had a bunch of different accommodations. You could stay in the house. You could stay in a cool little eco pod. You could stay in like a group area. And we decided, no, let's do a camper van because then we'll have our.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Own private space and we can try them out. So. So that's kind of how we rolled up. We drove up California to Casadero, California.

[Chris Iacono]

About two hours north of San Francisco. The drive was beautiful. It was just west of Napa Valley, not quite into Napa Valley. So I think like maybe 40 or 50 miles west of Napa Valley and a little off the coast. But we started to see, I guess, baby redwoods.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

We saw redwoods and we saw a lot of grapes. There were a lot of very small farms with, I mean, just mile after mile of these. And you could see the grapes. Like, you could see the champagne colored grapes. You could see the dark red cabernet grapes. I mean, you could just see like, like Concord grapes. Like, you could just see like the big ideal bushels hanging off of the plants. It was glorious.

[Chris Iacono]

Really wild. Yeah.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

So if we would have kept going on that road, I'm pretty sure it was called Redwood highway or something like that. If we would have kept going, we would have hit the giant redwood. So I want to come back, hit San Francisco and do. But you could start to see the bigger and bigger redwoods. So that was really neat. And then we pulled up to this property. We had a code to get into the property.

[Chris Iacono]

Yeah. The name of the ranch was Taravana. And yeah, we rolled up, they gave us a little code to enter in. We were the first people there. It. We. As we drove up, it was just. It was gorgeous. It was, I think, a 700 acre ranch.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yes, yes. There are people that live on this land to tend the land, to tend the gardens. There are three horses. One is a baby horse. Horse. That was an oops. Baby horse. Not planned.

[Chris Iacono]

The ranch grows all its own food. They had different. All these different vegetables and fruits growing everywhere, all across.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Apples, pears, plums. You could just reach up, they were ripe and take one and eat. It really was like being in, like the Garden of Eden on earth.

[Chris Iacono]

Cattle and roaming chickens, big longhorn cattle.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

So we pull up and we see a bunch of people in yellow challenge shirts and we see Emily. And we got there first. There was a bus that was picking up everybody from the airport. We had the van. So we came up by ourselves. And it was just lovely. Like, we got there. They were excited that we were there. They were waiting for us outside. We got hugs. There were photographers. And the photographers did such a good job about not being intrusive but being there and getting everything the whole time we were there. Yeah.

[Chris Iacono]

They were great about capturing, like candid moments.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yes.

[Chris Iacono]

And not interfering.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

I thought I would be really uncomfortable with that sort of influencer level camera stuff on us. And it just. The cameramen were lovely. So we get there, there's this huge house. Gigantic, gigantic house.

[Chris Iacono]

Five, six thousand square feet maybe. Who knows? It looked like a mansion.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

So we got there. Then we waited for the other people to get there. Everybody got there. We're saying hello and they told us we were going to go on a nature hike.

[Chris Iacono]

Let me say that we didn't know how many people were going to be there. And it turns out there were probably, I want to say 45 participants, people who were. Who had come to the retreat to be challengers in the challenge retreat. And then There were probably 10 or 15 staff as well, including, like, say.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

20, because we had EMTs.

[Chris Iacono]

Yeah, there were. Yeah, fire department people there. There was a kitchen staff that just focused on food.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

People who tended the horses. Like, there. There was a lot of people.

[Chris Iacono]

Yeah. And there were all maybe 10 cast members from the Challenge TV show that were also there wearing yellow shirts, kind of guiding us and concierging and helping Emily run the event. Yes. So, yeah, so. So evening one, we probably rolled up, it was maybe two o'. Clock. The. The shuttle bus from the airport showed up with the rest of the people around 5ish. And then. Yeah, they said, hey, we're going to go on a nature walk at around 6, so change into some comfy clothes. And they took us on a nature walk. And what happened then?

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Well, we jumped in the back of pickups. And that was really fun for me because I haven't been in the back of a pickup. That's illegal if you're on the street. But because we were in this private property, you're not on official city roads or anything. So we could get in the back of pickups. And I haven't been in the back of a pickup with somebody driving me around since I was a kid in Mississippi in summer. So immediately my inner child is like, all right, I'm into this. I'm liking this. So they drove us down a ways from the house. I have no idea how far. Then we got out, then we started walking. And these hills are steep. Like we live in the mountains. But every place that I get to have, like, outdoor nature, I just love because there's just so much variance. There's so much to experience. So it was very steep. So we walked down. I don't know how far.

[Chris Iacono]

Mile, Maybe a mile? Well, maybe. Yeah, maybe half a mile, Three quarters of a mile. It felt a lot longer because of the steepness.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Okay. Yeah.

[Chris Iacono]

You think like, oh, going down is super easy.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Not that steep.

[Chris Iacono]

Not that steep and not that long. So it was already day one. We're already being challenged so slowly walking.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Down the hill, and then we got to the bottom, and then we were told that we were going to run all the way up and we would be put in the team. So this.

[Chris Iacono]

Well, we actually, we didn't even know that the team thing was happening. They just said. Emily came out and said, hey, all right, this is your first challenge. Surprise. You're going to run up the hill, and the first six people that get up the hill are going to get one of her special impact bags that she's produced there it's an amazing, like, it's like a travel bag that you fil with stuff to use as a workout bag too.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Once you get where you're going, you take your clothes out, fill it up the packs with, like, soft water bottles so you can put as much weight as you want in it. And so for super workout people, that's a really cool product idea.

[Chris Iacono]

Yeah. So she had six those to give away and basically, like, you know, saying, all right, the six fastest people are going to get them and see you guys back at the house. And then we drove off and we were all like, okay, all right, let's go ahead and do this. And we started running up this hill. Okay. I did not run up the hill because I've done enough hiking to know I'm not gonna be able to run up this hill. People started running. Cool. Let the runners run everybody else. I started power walking up the hill, and I basically power walked the entire time up the hill and jogged a little bit. But it was tough.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yep, it was tough. And I love that aspect of physical challenge because it didn't seem like that far. Like, we will hike sometimes 9 or 10 miles in one shot, but, man, when you're racing and you're racing other people and you feel adrenaline of all right, there's a race on and you're going uphill. And I am not a runner. I have not been a runner because of needing to do low impact, because of some of my chronic pain issues from my botched jaw surgeries from years ago. But I've been intentionally trying to strengthen and get ready, and my pain's been down from all the things that I do to manage it. So I jogged a little bit and I ran where I could.

[Chris Iacono]

Yeah, same here. I did what I could. And let me. Let me preface it with this so. So the listeners don't get the wrong impression about the nature of these challenges. I. Look at me, okay? I am not an athlete. I'm far from an athlete. I have trained myself to suck my gut in in most instances, and that's what I was doing at the retreat the entire time. I'm not an athlete. Most of the other people there were not athletes. There were a handful of very athletic people there, but the non athletes and the people who were just there because they liked the show, everyone was able to complete the challenge, and there was no. Some people couldn't. Some people had to get in a car and they had a bad knee or they just weren't able to make it up the hill. There was Absolutely zero judgment whatsoever about anybody who couldn't complete the challenge. It was there. And even though we were challenged and we were competing, the competition was pure, was totally friendly. So I want to preface it with that and say, yeah, we. We did our best to get up the hill. I think I came in about midway. Nikki. Nikki, you were, like, six or seven people behind me. I think I might have been, like, the 15th person to cross this line in the first challenge. The 15th person to get there. And, you know, so, yeah, we're about 20 minutes into going up this hill, and I even said to you, I'm like, hey, is it okay if I go as fast as I can? And you were like, please just leave me here. And I'm like, all right, babe.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yeah, like, run.

[Chris Iacono]

Like.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Well, they. The listeners probably don't know this about me. I am very competitive. I'm a good sport, and I'm a happy competitive person, but I am very competitive.

[Chris Iacono]

You are a good sport when you're not gloating in your win.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Every winner gets to gloat a little bit. Come on.

[Chris Iacono]

Yeah, I know. It's fine. So here's a little side note. Nikki and I love playing board games. I am a huge board game nerd. Like, I've got a giant shelf of super strategic nerdy. You've never heard of them. Board games. And I'm so grateful that you, as my wife, I've taught you how to play these board games, and you actually enjoy and want to play them with me because that means that you are really my forever person. So Nikki beats me every single time we play my games. Okay. I just want the listeners to know that. That these are my games. I learned how to play them. I'm really smart, and my wife beats me nine times out of ten, and I just kind of have to learn to suck it up. So, yeah, you're a good sport. But she definitely gives me the smirk when she wins. Like, basks in her win every time. Doesn't matter. She wins three times in a row. She does that. And I'm so. I look at her like, good game. It's a good game. Yeah, you had a great game. She's like. She does it until I chuckle. And I admit that she beat me at this game. So, yes, Nikki's very competitive, but on the other. On the flip side, you also pass out a lot, so there's that. What you exert yourself. One of our first dates, we went to the Renaissance festival, and we don't drink that much, but it was a super Hot day. And I think each of us, we, like, split a beer. And then Nikki did, like, that rope walk thing and then just like, almost died, like, in the middle of the renaissance.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

It was 100 degrees.

[Chris Iacono]

100 degrees. She had got heat. Heat stroke.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

I passed out.

[Chris Iacono]

Yeah, then you have passed out like, a couple more times. So I was a little worried, like, you going up this hill that you might pass.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yeah, I was definitely cognizant of that. But we were at, what, about 3,000ft elevation? And we live at almost 9,000. So that was in my favor.

[Chris Iacono]

A lot more oxygen.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

And I have been doing more cardio in the two months before this to really get ready for this. And I could feel that had helped me a lot.

[Chris Iacono]

And there were paramedics and EMS on staff the entire time, ready at the drop of a dime to help anybody out. And every, like, I don't want to. Every thousand feet, there was a person running the event in a yellow shirt with a walkie talkie, making sure we were.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yeah, we felt we were totally supported.

[Chris Iacono]

Totally supported the entire time. So, yeah, so we got to the top of the hill. And I love the way they did this. And I don't want to give the whole event. I don't want to give the entire retreat away, but we'll just talk about this first one. But this is where they split us into our teams for the remainder of the retreat. The first six people that showed up were obviously the fastest and most athletic six.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

So team captains.

[Chris Iacono]

So those became the team captains. So the first person went Team Blue. Next person was Team Green. Then we had Team Orange, then Team Yellow, then Team Red or Pink or whatever they were. Then the next person that showed up went to the first team. The next person went to the second team. Next person went to the third team four. That way they did a wonderful job of balancing the athletic ability of the teams. Yeah, so every team had somebody who was really athletic and then some people that came in the middle and then some people that came in near the end. And it was great because there were no super lopsided teams. You had people to support you in all regards. That was great. So I ended up on Team Green. Nikki ended up on Team Purple. These are our official, the challenge handkerchiefs that we got from the event. So, yeah, we got there and they split us into teams, gave us some water, and then they gave us a puzzle to do. So it wasn't just physical challenges. Like, the first part was physical. And then immediately, while we're still there at the top of the hill. I don't remember that we turned around. Inside the packs was a puzzle. Like a sudoku puzzle?

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yes, yes. It's just not a little math puzzle.

[Chris Iacono]

Immediately, so it's not just physical, which is how I ended up coming in some of the top places, because I'm pretty good at puzzles while I'm sucking in my gut. Thanks to Nikki for beating me so many times at all the strategy games, I learned how to be good at puzzles. So, yeah, we immediately turned around, and they're like, all right, guys, inside your pack is a puzzle, and go. And you gave us the instructions, and we had to solve it, and then whoever solved it first basically won day zero. They won day zero, and then they kept track of who was winning, and the people that won got an extra little prize or they got to get their food first. And so that was day zero. It was. It started off great. It was like just everyone was happy to be there. Everyone had a good vibe, and then. Yeah, tell them about the rest of the year.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

I want to say this too. The part that was so restorative for me was that, I mean, this is what I do for a living, right? And I hold a lot of space for a lot of people, and I give a lot of myself. And usually on any kind of team, I'm the one that tends to say, how are we going to communicate? Like, what's your style? Like, I kind of coordinate that. And before I could even have that thought, other people on my team were doing that and that. It was like, I could take a really big, deep breath and go, oh, like, these are my people. Like, they think, like, I do. TC Was on my team. I cannot wait to see her again in this life. And she was just such a powerful woman. Oh, it's gonna make me cry. She was so powerful. Ryan was lovely. He was the team captain. And immediately they were just like, all right, what's your motivational style? Do you want me to be like, hey, run on the heels? And she would help me throughout the challenge because I'm not a runner, and so I didn't even know that. Running uphill, you should. She'd be on your toes, and she'd be like, on your toes, and it helps so much. And so it was really nice for me to let other people take care of me in that way and to just have that depth, to have other people going, what are your strengths? What do you think's gonna be easy for you in this? What do you think's gonna be hard? They asked the questions That I would typically ask, like, what made you decide to do this? And so then people were really excited. The challenge, people who had been on tv. You know, I've met some people who have been on tv. Sometimes the ego comes in the room before they do and, like, knocks me out. So I was steady for some real Hollywood trying to be famous vibes, and there was none of that. Emily Hand selected everyone that participated. I thought I was going to get a little weird vibe when I was like, yeah, I don't know who you are. Because there were people who were, like, seeing their favorite challenger that they had watched on TV for 20 years. You know, that world that, you know, had a bit of a groupie vibe. And so I didn't know saying to them, like, no, I have no idea who you are. Person who's been on TV at your event, that. And instead of having any kind of attitude about that or like, what do you mean, you don't know who I am? I got excitement from the challenge participants. They said, wow. No, we wanted some people to be here who had no idea. Oh, that's really neat that y' all don't really know what you're getting into. Oh, that's kind of even more fun. They were so, so, so lovely. So my team captain was Aviv. So if you're a fan of the show, she is, I think, about my age. She's been on since way back.

[Chris Iacono]

And my team captain was Tori. I'm not sure which episodes or seasons.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

I think she's been on for a really long time.

[Chris Iacono]

They were more our liaison.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yes.

[Chris Iacono]

Yes. They weren't competing with us. They were just there to motivate us.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yep.

[Chris Iacono]

They were there to, like, guide us, cheer us on. Cheer us on. Yeah. Our team captains were also competitors who were just people at the retreat. So, yeah. So we each had, like, a celebrity liaison from the show that was assigned to our group. And you had Aviva and I had Tori, and, yeah, they were great, too. They just. They were there for us. They were super motivating.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

They were excited for assistance. So lovely to have other people excited for what you do, what you're doing. I think that's part of why we have such a loneliness epidemic. Like, so people are so in their own stuff, in their own space that to have other people really encouraging was just really special.

[Chris Iacono]

It was great.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

We are very grateful to have Air Doctor sponsor this episode, y'. All. I love my Air Doctor Air purifiers. We have one in the bedroom that we run every single night. I cannot express to you how much you can actually walk into the room and feel that the air is clean. Air Doctor is the award winning air purifier that eliminates 99.99% of dangerous contaminants like allergens, viruses, smoke, gases, mold spores and more. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use code badass to get up to $300 off today. Air Doctor comes with a 30 day money back guarantee plus a three year warranty. That's an $84 value for free. So if you try it and you don't like it, you can send it back. Air Doctor makes it easy. Get this exclusive podcast only offer now at airdoctorpro.com a I r d o c t-o r p r o.com using promo code Badass I love my Factor meals. Their convenience, their ease, their tastiness. And I think you're going to love them too. As my husband travels back and forth to another state to help his mom, I'm ordering boxes of Factor to help me stay on task and not be stressed out with having to come up with meals for one while I handle everything else in our house. So not only is Factor tasty and nutritious and helpful and offer chef prepped meals that are dietitian approved and delivered right to my door now, it's actually really helping me stay grounded and give myself proper nutrition and ease while we're managing the real life things that happen when we are grieving and we've lost someone. So eat [e-mail] Emotional 50 off and use code EMOTIONAL50OFF to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for a year. Y'. All. Do you hear that? That's code EMOTIONAL50OFF@FACTOR meals.com for 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. Get delicious ready to eat meals delivered with Factor. This offer is only valid for new Factor customers with the code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. Thank you for supporting the sponsors that support us.

[Chris Iacono]

It was great. And what I loved about the whole thing was that it wasn't just physical challenges. It was, it was four days, Wednesday, Wednesday through Sunday and they would start the day off with a big meditation down by the temple. There were a bunch of different areas that we were at. There was the main house, there was the temple, there were the eco pods, there was all these other spots and people were staying at different spots. Then we would have breakfast at 8. At 8 o' clock the kitchen staff were absolutely phenomenal. They would come out and Tell us about all the food, where it came from, what part of the property it came from, because it was that local. The chickens were literally processed on the property a couple of days earlier. The eggs were from those chickens, the beef was from the cows that were roaming around the property. All organic, all phenomenal. They had different options. They had vegan options, they had gluten free options, they had low carb, anything you could want. The food was phenomenal. Then the kitchen staff would come out and tell us about it and sing to us. So wonderful. We'd have them give thanks for the food and kind of sing together as a group. Every morning we would eat our breakfast. Then we'd have like an hour and 15 minutes of downtime. We would meet in the front of the house for that day's challenge. And they were, I'm not going to tell you any more about the challenges because they are a secret. You're going to have to come to next season three with me and Nikki while we're there and experience them. But every day we would go out and do a physical challenge. And that's where Team Green would compete against Team Purple and blue and Pink. And these were grueling and orange. And these were grueling challenges that would last about two hours, three hours. But you weren't moving the entire time. It usually took 23, 30 minutes to even get to that part of the property. After the physical challenge, you'd have another hour and a half, couple hours of downtime. Then we'd have lunch. Then you could do one of the workshops that they had that you could sign up for. Private workshops. They had public workshops that everyone could attend. So you'd have the option of just going, no, I'm gonna, I'm gonna lounge by the wave pool or I'm gonna lounge in this chair and watch the sun and watch it. Or I'm gonna go walk around the property or no, I'm gonna sit here and just drink coffee for the afternoon and read. Or no, I'm going to go take a nap. You do whatever you wanted for the afternoon. Then dinner got served at six and then they had another wellness event at night by the temple at 8pm Saw one night, it was like a sound, a music thing, sound bath. The other night it was a cacao ceremony. So lots of physical stuff combined with wellness stuff combined with just phenomenal people. And I think you mentioned this before, that none of the people drained us.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

That was the big shocker for me. My introversion. Being around people drains me. Even people that I like and love, but it was like such a heart centered group. Like, if anybody teared up, it was like, go ahead and cry. It really was my people in terms of emotionality. I do like physical challenge from my yoga teaching days. The older I get, the more I think as I go through perimenopause, that I need real physical challenge and activity and weight training. And so I'm getting into that more and I'm just. I'm realizing that this intersection of people that are embodied physically and that are connected to their emotions and risking things and challenging their bodies and their minds, it was a group of people who, like, we're doing the podcast, like, this is our passion project. Like, they have their own passion projects, their own businesses that are holistic and good for the earth. I'm hoping to have some of those people on the show in the next few months. We met Tracy, who is a beekeeper who lives in Colorado too. We're hoping to have her on the show to talk about bees and maybe even have a hive on our property.

[Chris Iacono]

Yeah. So. And because Emily Schram, who from the Challenge, who runs the event and runs the retreat because she used to run a gym in Denver, I want us not to say half, but probably a quarter of the people at this retreat were from Colorado and Denver, which we.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Did not even think about. And I met Emily in Denver, so that makes so much sense. I just didn't think about it.

[Chris Iacono]

So we met like five new friends from Colorado and Denver that we're gonna reach out to and go on hikes with and connect with and have on the show and just hang out with. And it was great.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Well, wait. And Tracy's company is Boom Life. That's her company. So she makes salves and ointments and oils from bee products because that's what she does. So it was just so inspiring to be around people that are doing what they're passionate about in life. And coming to this event were people that prioritize this type of thing in their lives. And just the synergy of that, the excitement of that, the encouragement of that was so wonderful. I think for me, it even healed up things like, you know, I felt so awkward, like in junior high and high school gym and trying to be physical and feeling like I wasn't a physical person. It's not that I wasn't a physical person. It's that it was 3,000 degrees and a billion percent humidity where I lived.

[Chris Iacono]

And the gym teacher was drunk, right? Yeah.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

So it's like this resurgence for me of Reintroducing more of who I really am in these ways. We're in our 40s. I know that even at our age, when people go to retreats, a lot of times what people share with me is it's cliquey. Some of the people know each other to the exclusion of other people. And I think all of us, really, all of us are sensitive people. It's not that it's the biggest trauma in our life. It's not that it's something that affects us every day. But if you grew up and went to, like, public school and stuff, that universal feeling of walking into the cafeteria and going, where am I going to sit down? Do I have people to sit with? And having that be clicky, I think a part of me prepped for that. And y' all in every single meal. You could grab a plate of food. And this was everyone's vibe. Hey, do you want to sit by me? I haven't had a chance to talk to you yet. Yeah, come sit down because we haven't had a chance to get to know you yet. Hey. I'm so and so. It even healed that little part of me that used to feel nervous walking into a new place wondering, will anyone make a spot for me? It, yes. The big challenges, the big point of all of it is the big point of all of it. But I think, like, the magic really happens in those little human to human moments. I've had sensitive people define feeling loved as feeling seen and heard, like accepted, you know, made a part of. We talk, we've talked so much over the years about feeling alien as HSP in this world. And it was like this Taravana 700 acre, beautiful property was like a little place where I belonged. And it just, it felt beautiful. It restored my heart in ways I didn't even know that I needed. Towards the end, I even. I could only fit in my pack four of my pattern scapes, my wellness deck that we made for this year. And I gave them out and to excitement to. Oh, my gosh. You made this. You're a healer. Look at this. Like, just to have people excited for what you you're doing in the world was just like a magical icing on the cake. I think you should tell people how you placed in this competition.

[Chris Iacono]

Oh, yeah. So after day five on Saturday was the final challenge. Day was the final challenge, and the final challenge was very hard. It was definitely, if the previous challenges took 20 minutes, 20 to 30 minutes, sometimes 40 minutes to complete this final challenge took a grand total of like an hour. And 10 minutes, hour and 30 minutes for some people, some teams. Not going to tell you what it is. I don't want to give any of it away, but it was a very grueling challenge that had multiple legs and multiple things to do.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Wait, we have to say one part.

[Chris Iacono]

I don't think we should. No, I don't think we should say that part. I think that is a surprise for people, and that's part of what the surprise is. So.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Okay.

[Chris Iacono]

Yeah.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Okay. Deal?

[Chris Iacono]

Deal.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

All right. All right.

[Chris Iacono]

Just understand that it's a combination of physical and puzzle. That's it. Okay. That's all you need to know. And the physical ranges, the whole gamut of physical and the puzzle ranges, the whole gamut of puzzle. So we're going. We all start at the same time. We, you know, all teams start at the same time. My team, green, we were feeling a little defeated. We were way behind on the first leg of the final challenge. Like, we felt a good 20 minutes behind other teams. Then we got to the second leg of the challenge, and we knocked that out in like, 15 minutes and left a couple of teams there and kept going. Got to the third leg of the challenge, knocked that out in, like, three minutes while the other teams were still there trying to complete that leg. And boom, just like that, we went from second to last place to first place, and we started the rest of the challenge. It was still another 30, 40 minutes of the challenge to go, but now we were looking at each other as we were all jogging up the hill, my team of six and seven, and we were like, oh, my God, are we in the lead? We really, like, are we in the lead? We started singing together and chanting together and, you know, cheering each other on. The people at were, you know, trying to bring up the rear, helping each other out, made it through the next two or three legs of the challenge. And make a long story short, yours truly, producer of Emotional Badass, Chris Hayakono, came in fourth place. Fourth. I came in fourth. Let me be straight with you. I had no business coming in fourth, okay? There were people at this retreat who were runners. There were people who are athletes. There were people with abs. I have no abs. There's absolute. I don't know how this ha. Even you looked at me and you were like, you came in fourth. And I was like, yeah, I don't know how the hell this happened. I was like, I went up to. I went up to Dave, the one of the guy. One of the guys from the other seasons, one of the people from the Challenge. And I was like, dude, will you check the math again? Did you, like, forget to carry the one or something? Like, how's this working out? What is going on here? Yeah, I can't. I came into fourth. I came in fourth, and I got a bunch of cool stuff for coming in fourth, and I got to make a little speech, and I gloated a little bit, and I had fun, and everyone had fun, and it was just super cool. But, yeah, I did not think I had that in me. That's the big point. I think, of this entire thing. I had to reach down and challenge myself in a way I never have before, and I did not know that I had that in me. And it was a combination of coming off of the death of my dad, wanting to prove to myself that I was strong, wanting to prove to my team that I could do it, wanting to prove to myself that I could do it. And I did things that I never thought I'd be able to, and it was life changing. That was. That's what was life changing about.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

It makes me feel alive.

[Chris Iacono]

Makes me feel alive. And it gave me confidence that I needed in that moment. It made me really realize that there is almost nothing I can't do if I try hard and I grind, bust my ass to do. Made me a better person. Bottom line, it forced me to work as a team. I'm not much of a. I don't want to say I'm not a team.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Player, but I'm just a spirit.

[Chris Iacono]

So am I. I do a lot of things alone, and I had to work with other people, and it was great, and it was wonderful to learn how to work with other people. We learned what everybody's strengths were, we learned what our weaknesses were, and we learned how to play up to them and work together. When I say that, you know, this is the type of thing that makes you stronger, I seriously mean that. This last six weeks of my life has been the most difficult part of my life. From between having my dad dying, having to go to a funeral, having to manage all that going on this challenge, having to manage all this and just juggle all the house things, I feel like I've grown more in the last six weeks than I have in the last 10 years just from these experiences. So that's wonderful. Yeah. So it is true. When they say, like, lean into your growth edge, do those things that are hard, do the things that make you uncomfortable. It's fine to be in your comfort zone, but realize that almost nothing grows there.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yes.

[Chris Iacono]

So push yourself and I guarantee you, you will be pleasantly surprised after you get through the painful part, because the painful part helps us grow.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

I want to thank you for how open and willing you have been and continue to be to every out of the box thing that I want us to do.

[Chris Iacono]

Yeah. Yes, yes. I'll go white water rafting again. We can go race donkeys. Yes, yes, dear. I am open to it. Yeah.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

For me, it heals something in my childhood that I want. Experiences make me feel alive. Those types of challenges of seeing myself do what I didn't think I could do remind me of that, like, spice of life. It's like, that's what makes us feel alive. So when we feel humdrum, when, like the daily grind is just getting at you as people, it's. You gotta step outside of that comfort zone. It's. Sometimes you try it and you risk it. And it's not like this. It's not the vibes that you wanted. Don't let that make you give up. This is gonna inspire me to really put together our own retreat. And I can see it now. And that's kind of the thing too. We're feelers. You know, we're feelers, and I think we're 15 to 20% of the population as highly sensitive people. That means 80 to 85% of the people are not like us. I can't think through something like a retreat. I have to go experience other retreats to feel it out, to feel into how I can do something like that, how I can offer the thing that is what we want to offer. And so I have to experience it to be able to set up more experiences for me. And I think we live through such an information age where people want to know all the details and they want the control of knowing everything that's going to happen. And they resent sometimes being put outside of their comfort zone instead of really embracing it as the stair steps of life that make us stronger. So if there's anything that we shared today that can inspire you, maybe there's some little thing that's just tickling your fancy that's trying to nudge you over to some kind of challenge, whatever that challenge is, maybe it's getting on stage, you know, maybe it's. I did a storytelling competition. I did the moth before we ever launched Emotional Badass. By challenging myself that way, that's how I knew, okay, I can do Emotional Badass. I can put myself out there and share because I shared. I think I shared a vulnerable story I never even shared on the show. So Maybe there's something in your life that is just kind of whispering or maybe even yelling at you to kind of come over and give it a try, even though maybe it's something everybody in your life will be like. What? There were times even on this challenge that Chris looked at me and went, what? You ran. Wait, what? You just. You decided to be a swimmer for this event?

[Chris Iacono]

When I found out you were swimming, I was. I almost flagged the EMT down and I was like, get ready, my wife. Make sure she doesn't die in the lake, please.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

So I even liked watching him be shocked at what I could do. So surprise yourself. Like, really surprise yourself. And it's okay to do it crying. It's okay to do it messy. It. Just make sure that you do it. You don't. You won't even know what the payoff is till after.

[Chris Iacono]

So for any of the listeners who are interested in learning more about the challenge retreat and everything Emily's doing, head on over to Emily's website. It's Emily Schram.com e m I l y It's Emily Schram.come m I l Y S C H r o m m.com and all the stuff about the challenge retreat is in there. I think she does two of them a year. She has some other retreats. Learn about it. See if it's for you. We're really excited. I think we have become. We're now retreat people. We're no longer cruise people. We've been on one cruise. We're not really cruise people. But I never want to go on another cruise again. I want to go on retreats now.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yes.

[Chris Iacono]

Because this was so much more fun. This is the first time ever coming back from the vacation where I was like, I ate great. I ate really. I don't feel like I'm super bloated from that vacation. So everything about it was wonderful. Emilyshram.com Check it all out. I think you just join her list and then she'll send out alerts when, when the tickets go on sale. And then, yeah, we're going to, you know, let us know what you think about doing a retreat because that's now in the cards for us now that we can actually see how one is done and see the logistics behind it. We definitely want to round out our offerings and have some type of retreat offering the next year or two if.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

We'Re going to do I need to give some hugs out.

[Chris Iacono]

Yes.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

And that's how we're going to do it.

[Chris Iacono]

But yeah, check that out. And thanks again to Emily. Thanks again to Emily's mom, Stacy. Thanks again to all of the people and the people that were there that were organizing the event. You guys are great team members.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Team members.

[Chris Iacono]

Team green. Go team green.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Team purple.

[Chris Iacono]

Yeah. Team green one. Green one. So, yeah, it was phenomenal. Check it out if you want to see the behind the scenes photos of me and Nikki at the challenge retreat. We are going to be talking through those and giving you guys kind of a play by play of the whole event on our Patreon page for next month's bonus episode. So the October bonus episode is going to be video with me and Nikki going through the photos, talking about the people, talking about the events in more detail. It's going to be for everybody on the Patreon who gets the bonus episode. So join at the five dollar level and get hundreds of hours of bonus content and be there with us for the October bonus episode where we discuss all of the cool little ins and outs of the challenge retreat.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

You'll also get every single episode commercial free.

[Chris Iacono]

And on this month's Good for the Souls segment, Nikki and I will be sharing what is good for our souls this month. It could be a book, it might be a movie, it might be a food, it might be a thing, it might be a hobby. But every month we're going to talk about what is lighting us up.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

So for me, it's going to be one of the experiences I had on the retreat that I am intending leads me to other experiences. So one of the little extra side workshops that I signed up for, that I did, that you did not do was horse therapy. And I went into this going, okay, horse therapy. I didn't know if that was therapy for me. I didn't know if that was therapy for the horse. I just knew it was horse therapy. So I showed up and I got to do bodywork on the horses. So if you're a serious horse person, there's two tracks with horses. There's like the serious like competition kind of old school cowboy horse stuff. And then there's more like the woo woo angle of like body work and energy work on the horses. So I got to like lay my hands on this beautiful male graying out horse. He was a big boy.

[Chris Iacono]

What was his name?

[Nikki Eisenhower]

I cannot remember.

[Chris Iacono]

Okay, Big boy, let's call him.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yeah, I'm gonna call him Big Boy. And when we showed up, there were two sets of people. So the horse trainer said that when the first group showed up, the horses didn't know what was Up. So they were a little like, huh, what's going on? All right. They warmed the horses up for us. By the time my group got there, we walked into the stable and we had seen the horses because some of the challenges were running past the stable. But when I went into the stable, the horses were lasered in on us. I mean, they were making eye contact, like, come in here and put your hands on me. Like if they, like. I could almost hear them speaking the words into my skull.

[Chris Iacono]

Well, twice a year, all these people with yellow shirts show up and rub them down. So they're like waiting for it.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

So she was excited explaining their behavior. And I've been able to work with some horse people in my coaching practice. So I've been learning more and more about this type of body work just through the natural work that I do with highly sensitive people. So I was really excited that I would be able to do what I've been hearing some clients of mine talk to me about for the last few years. And just this gray boy, he was so special. The trainer said he was a passive horse, but he was kind of pushy. Okay. Which kind of sounds opposite, right? But that he was pushy because he needed boundaries. And I thought, well, this is the horse for me then. Right. And so she was talking to us about managing our energy, which I've thought a lot about in terms of if I'm with clients that are sharing a trauma story with me, you know, like sharing my energy is something, something that I do there. So I was listening to her framework for the horses. And so what she wanted me to do was be very strong, you know, in my energy and basically not let him push me around. Now his pushing me around is about him just wanting to be close to me and wanting to nuzzle up, but being kind of like rough with his head and a little pushy and walking into your space. And so she told me, like, just push him away, like firmly but gently and deliberately. And so I can't.

[Chris Iacono]

I just trying to picture you pushing a horse.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Uh huh, yeah, yeah. So. And she would position him to the back of the stall for me to come in. And then basically you stand there and you let the energy, you let the horse, which is kind of similar to how we are with our dog. If you're meeting someone new, it's like you want the animal to be able to sense your energy and kind of come to you. You don't want to meet any animal really, and just go, oh, look, how cute. And like just kind of bombard Them energetically, like they're trying to check out. Are you a safe person? Yeah. Highly sensitive people. Same thing. We need to not just go, oh, hi, and sort of jump into the arms of somebody. We need to sort of slow that down and go, okay, what kind of energy is here? What am I reading? So I could watch him taking me in. And immediately she said, oh. He immediately stepped towards me and wanted to be in my space. I got to run my hands over his body. And the trainer asked me, where did I sense that he had sore spots. And he was a rescue horse. So I work to help people heal their trauma, right? And the two adult horses, it was a male and a female. That's how the whoopsie baby happened. They were abused, like, especially the female had whip marks on her, like, they had been handled. So we got to see the difference in energy between the horses that were being rehabilitated and cared for with a lot of love and kindness and softness like they hadn't gotten in their earlier years. And then their baby, who hasn't had any abuse, any trauma, has had nothing but ideal circumstance, really. And you could just see the difference. Like, definitely the traumatized horses, you know, they had to take you in. You know, they had to really assess. Y' all have heard me talk for years about discernment. I was watching this horse discern about me, and the baby needed that less. It was more, like, on her terms of, like, yeah, I'm fine. Like. Like, it was just. She had a more of a. I want to say a little bit of a cocky confidence that the other horses had to sort of move a little bit more slowly. But just like, I think me just like highly sensitive people, once the energy says, oh, no, this is safe. Oh, no, this is one of my people, then it's like, we open up. So I got to run my hands over him and really sense where he hurt. And the trainer could validate for me, oh, yes, that's one of his most sore spots because of A, B, C, and D. And then as you. She told. She showed you how to put your hands on the animal and sort of push into their muscles to give a muscular release. And from all the body work I've had done on me, I very much understand the concept of that. And as I could do that with this big, sweet boy, just like, we might go, ah. Like, when you get, like, that spot, you're in the right spot. The horse would give tells basically about how to do that. And he would move his face, he would yawn to release and then he'd turn his face into me as if to say, yes, thank you. That's right.

[Chris Iacono]

You found a couple of knots that needed to be worked out.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yes. And he would thank me for that. So it was. When you're with a big animal, I know this. When we see the moose by our house, when they come around, particularly in the spring and the fall, there's something about being around a large animal that just. You can't be too in your head. You are sort of struck, like, dumb. Not in a stupid way, in a beautiful way of, like, the power of this animal. Like this. At any moment, this animal can decide to trample you and just squish you, kick you. You know, it is an animal to be respected of their size. And there's just something so majestic about being around an animal that it weighs so much more than you, you know, that you could actually ride and to build a. An energetic, communicative relationship even in those moments. And I think it's just like some of the people I met at the retreat, y', all, I know as sensitive people, you want. You know, you want the forever people in your life. You want to meet somebody, you want to have a friend from when you were 5 years old to the end of your life. You know, of course that's going to hold a space in our lives, but I think it's important as sensitive people to not discount. If we're going out in the world to get a lot of experiences, we're going to meet hundreds of people, we might meet thousands of people and have just a moment like that with them. It wasn't just the horse that I had a moment with. It was the four other women who had signed up for that. And I got to watch their experience with the other horses, and I got to watch what the energy of those horses did to those women. And then we all got to share that energy together. Part of what was so. It's going to make me cry. Part of what was so beautiful about the horse moments with me is that we had been waiting as the group that were going to get picked up to be driven to the stable with the other women. And it was after the major challenge, so it was when all of physical stuff was completed. So we were spent. We were kind of, like, loopy exhausted. And we started laughing and you know that laughing so hard, you're crying. You're laughing so much that anybody that walks by and hears that laughter, it's instantaneously contagious. And you laugh so much, like, your face starts to hurt and your belly hurts. We had that laughter moment right before going to see the horses. And so that is a very special energy that we walked up to the horses with. So don't discount that. Maybe you're spending an hour with some horses or with some other people. Maybe there's so much magic in that hour. Maybe it's the equivalent of the other hours all compacted into that moment. So that was good for my soul.

[Chris Iacono]

That's awesome. I'm so glad. Are you gonna go do some more horse stuff now?

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Not only do I wanna do horse stuff, but part of what I put on my vision board at this event was I really have a vision of I want us to have land, like maybe land to host retreats on. And I want a pair of donkeys. I really want donkeys. And so in doing that body work with the horses, I could really envision and see how I could do bodywork with donkeys and let people come visit with my future donkey. So that's what I'm envisioning, that's what I'm manifesting as of right now. Anything can change, but that's what I see for our future.

[Chris Iacono]

All right. For my good, for the soul. I am learning and teaching myself a few new investment strategies. So I come from a kind of middle class household growing up. And in my household, the biggest fight that was constantly happening was a fight over money. And it was. It definitely had an effect on my philosophy towards money, how I feel about money. It in not a good way. I grew up thinking that money was some scarce thing that was so difficult to get. And you always had to worry about money and money. And it was. It's stupid. It's a stupid philosophy to have. And it's because, you know, money is kind of a form of energy. And money comes, money goes. You can make more money, you can make less money. It's not. You can just snap your fingers and be rich. I'm not saying that, but because of the arguments I used to hear in my house, I definitely needed to work on my mental relationship with money and how I felt about it. So, yeah, I have been reading some books, I've been reading some new strategies I'm learning about investing and learning how to analyze the fundamentals of companies to find good companies that are like, undervalued and how to invest in them and how. Which companies to avoid and kind of like how to read a balance sheet and learn about strategies that were never taught to me as a kid. Now that we're in our 40s you know, I can't believe we have to start thinking about retirement, but we have to start, start thinking about retirement. And I'm learning more about like Roth IRAs and traditional IRAs and in different types of investment accounts and different types of risk level and brokerages and exchanges and I love it, I really do. It is something I thoroughly enjoy because we're entrepreneurs. I'm a big fan of learning about businesses and how they work and what doesn't work about them. And yeah, I think it's helping. Learning these things and kind of demystifying wealth building has been eye opening for me to help heal the crappy philosophy about money that I developed due to hearing my parents fight about it all the time.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

I think it's more than that. I grew up poor and like money was always an issue, money, there was always a sense of lack, there was always not enough. I think it's the great failing of our western society that we continue to raise people without teaching them how to invest, how to make money. And I love that you're saying, I know you were a little sheepish about this as a topic to bring up and I think that's how we feel about money. With my very close friends, we have always had a pact that we very much talk about money and investing and if we made a bad financial decision, and that has been such a rich part of my friendship with my three closest people in my life because we don't learn about it anywhere else. And so I think by you talking about that today, there's going to be somebody listening who will start to dip their fingers, their toes into that pond of just starting to learn about it. I think we have these, these very deep rooted subconscious ideas that there are people who invest and then the rest of us don't because we don't know how to do that. And these things are not rocket science, y'. All.

[Chris Iacono]

Yeah, they're not.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

It's not. It's just about learning really. It's just like anything else, you have to just start putting your toe in the water. You have to start immersing yourself. So by you talking about this today, somebody is going to hear that and somebody is going to take a next step to learn something. It's not off limits to everybody if you feel like that's for other people and not you. Because let's be real, we can talk about feelings and woo stuff, you know, till the cows come home. But this society like runs on money. And it's not that money is money, it's that money is choice. Money is opportunity, Money is security, money is peace. Money is being able to pay for experiences. Money is so much more than money, y'. All. So don't be scared as a highly sensitive person to get into that realm and be able to take care of your life, reduce your stress levels and learn and grow. When you get out of sense of lack, there's abundance model and there's a lot of money out there in the world. And if you want some of it, you can learn how to take some of it.

[Chris Iacono]

Yeah, it's not a fixed pie. That's what I grew up with. I grew up with there's only a limited amount of money. And now that I know better as an adult, it's not. They are always printing more money. They are. And that's something that you could set your clocks by. That there's a couple of things in life that are pretty true and they will always continue to print more money until they can't anymore. We're not at that point yet. So get some of it and you can get some of it and you can change your relationship with how you feel about it.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Do not buy into this more current victim mindset around money, that it's impossible and you can't earn any and you can't figure it out and you can never buy a home. That's not true. We bought the cheapest, smallest studio apartment, the smallest, cheapest thing that was on the entire market in Denver.

[Chris Iacono]

Cheapest house in Denver.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yes.

[Chris Iacono]

Cheapest apartment in Denver as our first starter.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Was it even 3? Was it even 400 square feet?

[Chris Iacono]

410 square.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

410 square feet. And that's how we got into buying our first property. We are really hurting the youth by continuing that messaging and people waiting to buy their dream home, buy something little and tiny and then sell it and buy a two bedroom and then sell it and then buy something else.

[Chris Iacono]

And it might. Yeah, look, it's not 1950.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Nope.

[Chris Iacono]

Okay, that's. That. That's just a fact. I wish it was. I really wish it was. But right now you can't just walk into a big city and buy a giant house anymore. So what you have to do is when what we did was start small, hold it for a little bit, use it to upgrade to the next thing. Hold that for a little bit, use it to upgrade to the next thing. And that's just how it is now. But doing that showed me it was possible. And yeah, all of this, all this investment stuff has been, has been super beneficial just in terms of like deep. Like I said, demystifying these concepts. So yes, everything's available online. Check it out. Just go to YouTube, start looking at videos, buy some of the more popular books on investing and retirement stuff and how to analyze companies and, you know, how to start off with small properties. And it's fun. I think it's another fun thing to learn. Learn. And I'm always down to learn. On our next segment, Dear Internet. On the Dear Internet segment, we pull a question that was posted somewhere on the Internet and break it down and discuss. You did last month. So I'm going to go ahead and read this month if that's okay.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Shoot.

[Chris Iacono]

All right. This is also from Reddit, which I don't suggest anybody go on Reddit.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

We'll go on. So you don't have to.

[Chris Iacono]

You don't have to. Yeah. All right, here's the title. My 34 year old male fiance is allergic to cats but proposed to me, a 33 year old female, knowing I have four cats and is now saying he had hoped I'd rehome them. What do we do now that we are facing living together? Okay, so let me give you a rundown of this situation. My fiance proposed in April of this year after about one year together. During this time we lived in separate homes. I have four cats for the past 13 years. I didn't necessarily choose to have four cats. I ended up with a mama and her kittens and now they're my trusted companions. Over the past year and a half, my fiance will stay in my house and he has never had a bad reaction with the exception of one time we were sitting on the floor doing a craft and he got watery itchy eyes. So we decided after the engagement to fix up his home and living there. So during renovations an electrician came over and left drywall dust and my fiance had a bad reaction to it. My fiance then started saying he was unsure if he could live with cats and this whole situation has now completely spiraled. I said I was comfortable making accommodations such as a cat. Free bedroom, air purifiers, frequent vacuuming, it'll be all hardwood floors and he has a Roomba. But he is still nervous and unsure. I don't know what to do at this point. I'm certainly willing to take his health into consideration, but does this mean living separately? Am I inconsiderate for not agreeing to re home those cats? That's a tough one.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

That is a really tough one.

[Chris Iacono]

So we had to re home one of our cats and I am also severely allergic to cats. But it wasn't because of my allergies. So I don't know what to say to her because I feel like everyone has a. A great point to make here. They're her cats. They're part of her family. He has some type of allergy also from this guy. Feels like he might be blowing it a little out of proportion. He's being a little paranoid about it, but that could just be me.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Well, I think it's the tricky thing of each person. Okay, we're about to have the boundaries course. Right. It's like each person needs to know their own boundaries. I hurt for them as a couple hearing this because they could have seen this coming and planned for this. I mean, this is just one of those things when you're dating that you have to figure out, like, there are people who date and go, nope, I'm allergic to cats. I'm not dating anybody with a cat. Which means you can't fall in love with somebody with a cat, which means you avoid this situation. I think it's tricky, and I don't think there's any hard right or wrong answer. It's just about each person has to figure out. And this is part of what's hard with boundaries. You have to really sit down with yourself before you even have this discussion with somebody else. To go, what am I willing to do? And what am I not willing to do? Like, you're allergic to cats, but you had your own cat before I met you.

[Chris Iacono]

I did. And I would be allergic to her every night.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

And so for you, your boundary was, I'm not going to let my allergies get in the way of me having this cat that I.

[Chris Iacono]

Exactly. Yep. I was like, I said to myself, I'm going to have a cat. I'm going to. I'm going to snuggle with the cat, I'm going to sneeze on the cat, and I'm going to love the cat. And those were the four things I did.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yeah. So you were clear with yourself. So you could let that cat in. It could potentially be really heartbreaking for them. I think they each have to sit down and get very real with themselves. I would probably suggest a trial run where he stays with her for a week and really sees what is the allergic response.

[Chris Iacono]

That is what I think you should do. But let me also point out that four cats is a lot of cats.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

A lot of cats.

[Chris Iacono]

That's not one cat. That's four cats. That's four times the litter. That's four times the dander. Dander does. The hair. Dander does not come out of the walls. Like, dander gets embedded in furniture, walls, and everything else. You have to, like, use an ozone thing and paint the walls to get rid of the dander.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yeah.

[Chris Iacono]

So I can understand that. I think what's happening here is he is. He had a bad reaction to this drywall dust that got kicked up when the contractor was there. And he's now scared of having this reaction because of the cats. Because she says right here, you know, he's never really had any bad reaction other, you know, other than one time.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

It doesn't sound like he's super.

[Chris Iacono]

Doesn't sound like he's super allergic. So I don't know. It. Yeah, look, it doesn't. There's nothing wrong with asking. I don't think there's anything offensive about him going, hey, would you consider rehoming these cats? I think that's.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

There's no world where a four cat person is going to get rid of all cats.

[Chris Iacono]

No, they're not. And it'd be. It would be real tough to split them up since they've all been together for 13 years. So this does feel like it's going to have to be a test situation before any full commitment is actually made.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yeah. Because these cats could live another 10 years also. Yeah. So I think you guys have some trial and error to really do. I would highly recommend a. The dude staying with his girl for at least a week and seeing. What's that like if they're all out of the bedroom. What's that like? What's that like if they have somebody come in once a year and kind of de cat the house with some. With an ozone treatment? Like, what are you guys both willing to do to come together on this? And if that cannot be negotiated, do y' all want to stay in a relationship and have separate living spaces? Like, what is your plan?

[Chris Iacono]

I think maybe the first thing to try would be upping your rumba numbers, too. So maybe go to four roombas, one rumba per cat. And see if that helps with the amount of dander. And run some type of air doctor. Was one of our sponsors on the show. Maybe run an air doctor.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Right.

[Chris Iacono]

Four rumbas, an air doctor. Windows open all the time. And then just.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yeah, they have to figure out what they're willing to do and what they're not willing to do. And. And the other piece of this is if he's starting to back out of this, like, I don't think I can do this. Is it really the Cats. I would have to talk to them and go, is it really the cats? Is there anything else going on?

[Chris Iacono]

Yeah. Because if you really love somebody and you want to marry them and be with them, I think you have to accept what's there. Like, you came to our relationship with two cats. Yeah, I came with one.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yeah.

[Chris Iacono]

You also. Your cats. Also. One of your cats was a bit of a diva, and my cat was a bit of a sweetie pie.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yes. My cat was a. She's a mega diva.

[Chris Iacono]

Megade.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

She had to be the queen of the house.

[Chris Iacono]

Queen of the house.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

So we rehomed her. Not because of dander or allergy issues, because she was harassing us.

[Chris Iacono]

She would scream at us every.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Yeah, like, adding gusto to the house pissed her off.

[Chris Iacono]

And adding my cat to the house.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

So if we touched any other pet in the house, she would go. She would interrupt our conversations. We're both sound sensitive and we tried really hard to make it work with her for far too long and then. But it worked out really well.

[Chris Iacono]

Like, it worked out phenomenally well. I re homed her to one of my ver. One of my. One of my best friends. So one of my very good friends ended up taking Dagmol and he wanted another cat because he had a kitten who needed another older cat.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

And she had always done fine. I. When I got her, I already had one cat. So she had been a two cat cat and loved that. She loved just kind of being the queen over the other cat and the other cat letter. And she really loved him. She had an affinity for him. Every time he'd come over, come over.

[Chris Iacono]

And he's really nice. Yeah. She's happier now in her new home than she was with us. So getting more of her needs.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

So in a healthy home, like a healthy relationship takes a lot of negotiation. I think the movies make us think that you just come together and you fall in love and then, you know, if you're right for each other, everything just falls into place. It's like, no, you have to negotiate some real hard things. I was heartbroken over having to rehome Dagmar. But I will tell you this, the biggest confirmation I got as a real blessing in that moment. You know, I'm crying driving her over there. I'm sobbing in the car, and I'm like, this is going to be so hard. And we bring her to Jamal's house. I open the carrier, she walks out like she had lived there 10 years, immediately owned the place. Immediately was the queen. I was like, okay, I wouldn't have bet anything that it would have gone down like that. Those cats didn't hiss at each other. She grabbed the other cat, she started licking the other cat, and they are buddies and she is very happy. So we did the right thing. So as heart wrenching as that can be, and as much as you can go through all the trials and tribulations of all the guilt of rehoming your pet, rehoming actually is a really beautiful thing. So. So this woman has to really dig in her heart, too, and think about, like, who is this guy to her? Like, is this someone she really wants to build a life with? And what are you guys willing to negotiate and what is best for everybody involved, the cats included?

[Chris Iacono]

Yeah. Yeah. And that might involve living separately. It might involve paring it down to two cats instead of four. You're gonna both have to negotiate that.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

It might involve, you know, paying to have somebody clean the house, you know, twice a month, upping that instead of going out to eat. Like, there may be some real negotiations of how if we're going to try to make this work, how do we really make this work? And compromise really. Is each person giving up something? How do they do that? And so good luck. Good luck. I would love to get an update on this one.

[Chris Iacono]

Well, that's our show, everybody. Don't forget, the boundaries course is coming up. You can get the biggest discount on our Patreon page. Boundaries starts October 13th this year. Head on over to emotionalbadass.com backslash boundaries to sign up and learn more. And if you're not on the Patreon, you can use code badass to get 50 bucks off the full price. Course.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

I can't wait to meet you. So light and love and boundaries, y'. All. I'm an emotional badass. You're an emotional badass.

[Chris Iacono]

And together we are where moxie meets mindful.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Till next time. Take care of yourselves out there. Bye Bye.

[Chris Iacono]

Sam.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

Limu.

[Chris Iacono]

Emu and Doug Limu and I always tell you to customize your car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. But now we want you to feel it. Cue the emu music. Limu.

[Nikki Eisenhower]

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[Chris Iacono]

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[Nikki Eisenhower]

Customize and save. We save.

[Chris Iacono]

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