Empty Netters Podcast — Episode: "The NHL Wildcard Race Is Drunk"

Date: March 24, 2026
Host: Dan Powers, Chris Powers, Evan "Dr." Watkins
Description: The Powers brothers and their pal Evan bring their irreverent, inside-the-rink banter to dissect the hilariously unpredictable NHL playoff wildcard race, swap old hockey war stories, break down college hockey's Frozen Four, revisit '90s nostalgia and trends, and field an unforgettably gross Beer League Hotline call.

Episode Overview

This episode centers on the current state of the NHL wildcard playoff races, which the hosts describe as "absolutely drunk." The crew analyzes which teams are surging and which are choking at the worst moment, dissects the chaos and heartbreak in each conference, shares personal takes and wild conversation detours, and connects the state of pro hockey to college action and wider hockey culture. The tone is energetic, comedic, and full of inside jokes and passionate hockey takes.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter and Movie Talk

• (00:00–09:12)
• The crew opens with classic riffing on Chris's intense "commitment issues" with new things, segueing to fitness habits, and a detailed, enthusiastic rundown of seeing the movie "Project Hail Mary."
• Collective appreciation for Ryan Gosling's versatility:
  • “When Gosling shows his comedy chops, I think he’s at his best.” — Dan Powers (07:10)
• Acknowledge internet's tendency to overhype blockbusters, but celebrate that sometimes the hunger for a fun, big movie just wins out.

2. The NHL Wildcard Race Is “Absolutely Drunk”

• (09:12–13:57)
• Dan sets the table for hockey talk, declaring: “The wildcard race is absolutely insane... totally drunk!" (09:21)
• Presented by division:
  • Atlantic Division: Major logjam; Habs, Bruins, Red Wings, Senators all jockeying with only a few-point margin.
    • “The Sens are not dead. Everyone thinks they're dead, but they are not dead.” — Chris Powers (09:39)
  • Metropolitan: Similar bloodbath; Penguins, Columbus, Islanders, Flyers, Caps.
  • Pacific: Described as a “bubble bath” (Evan, 10:58) and “pillow fight.” Kings, Kraken, Oilers, Knights, Sharks, all with negative or barely positive goal differentials.
  • Central largely locked but Jets embarrassing; debate if anyone can steal a spot.

3. Who Are the Biggest “Shitheads” If They Miss? (Eastern Conference Edition)

• (13:57–22:19)
• Fun, playful framing: which team would be the most ridiculous failures if they miss playoffs?
  • Montreal Canadiens: Tops the “shithead” list — their strong season, if squandered, would be a disaster. “If the Montreal Canadiens fall out of the playoffs, you go, bruh. That is crazy.” — Chris (15:30)
  • Detroit Red Wings: Also in danger of blowing it; recent performance (big win, then loss) dissects their fragile state.
  • Arguments for Pitt, Boston not being shitheads if they fall short, given their overachievement and resets in progress.

4. Biggest Heartbreaks, Most Fun Teams

• (18:48–24:58)
• Heartbreak: “If Pittsburgh fell out after how fun this has been, it would be heartbreaking.” — Dan (19:31)
• Islanders are “devastation” contender due to their new core and expectations (20:26).
• Most fun if they get in: Unanimous on Columbus Blue Jackets.
  • “The Columbus Blue Jackets doing what they’re doing is just such an amazing thing for those fans and some of the best fans in the league… People forget they sell out every single game.” — Chris (24:58)

5. Western Conference Chaos

• (25:08–31:10)
• Who would be the biggest flop?
  • Vegas Golden Knights & Edmonton Oilers: Both are “catastrophic” misses if they choke — despite injuries, the pressure is massive.
    • “It's the Edmonton Oilers. You have Connor. You can’t miss the playoffs.” — Dan (25:55)
  • LA Kings: Only entered for their paper roster-over-performance mismatch.
• Biggest heartbreak:
  • Utah: Emerging strong but might get squeezed out, despite a positive goal diff; debate if missing would be heartbreaking for Sharks or Predators.
• Most fun: Sharks unanimously voted as the “most fun” team to sneak in.

6. Predators’ Late-Season Surge — Fun Story, or Overhyped?

• (31:10–38:24)
• Chris basks in Nashville's last-minute playoff schizophrenia, tracing their wild ride from U2 concert bans to previous spring surges and a huge influx of talent.
  • “If this Predators team, after all the bullshit going all the way back to the U2 show, goes on a heater… that is a fucking awesome story.” — Chris (33:44)
• Dan plays the “grinch,” questioning how fun a potential first-round sweep is for an “old” anchovy squad.
• Ultimately, grudging consensus: “If they make it, they’ll have earned it. So many of these teams are talking about, like, 'Hey, assholes, win games down the stretch.'" — Dan (38:12)

7. NCAA Frozen Four Preview

• (39:40–46:48)
• Brackets set for Frozen Four in Vegas! Dartmouth highlighted for first NCAA berth since 1980.
• Merrimack’s insane underdog run ("lowest seed ever," 41:25) dissected.
• Rapid-fire regional matchups preview: Denver–Cornell, Duluth–Penn State, Dartmouth–Wisconsin spotlighted as “big tilts.”
• Critique of certain Boston schools (BC/BU) for choking with “insane rosters.”
• Bracket picks to come next episode.

8. Tribute: Remembering Jesse Pierce

• (46:48–49:48)
• Heartfelt memorial of journalist Jesse Pierce and her children’s tragic death in a house fire.
  • “We just want to add onto that and make people in the hockey community aware of this... It’s rallying together that makes [tragedies] a little easier.” — Dan (48:24)
• Information on the fundraising campaign for her family is shared.

9. Not Ice / 90s Nostalgia Goes Off The Rails

• (53:24–78:10)
• Wild, hilarious segment swapping memories of '90s trends, games, and toys:
  • Baggy jeans, the Pokémon craze ("Pokemon is back," 55:00), and speculation on which childhood phenomena are making a comeback.
  • Rabbit hole on Pogs, yo-yos, playplaces, Nickelodeon game shows.
  • Deep dive on “tycoon” video games (Roller Coaster Tycoon, The Sims, city-builders) — debate why simulation games were/are so fun and whether they'll return.
  • “We’re living in a simulation, distracted from our simulation with another simulation.” — Evan (70:42)

10. Beer League Hotline: The Skid Mark Jock Incident

• (78:15–88:32)
• Listener writes in: what to do about a teammate who always has skid marks in his hockey jock?
  • Dan goes full medical examiner: “If you are not washing the thing that goes directly on your ball sack and dick, you are a fucking pig person.” (82:46)
  • The real advice: call your teammate in, but be helpful, not cruel; possibly introduce him to wet wipes and basic hygiene.
  • “If you have poop in your underwear every day, something is wrong and we need to help fix the issue.” — Dan (87:06)

11. Bauer Blind Rankings: Playoff Odds (East Bubble)

• (88:32–90:50)
• The five bubble teams blindly ranked for best playoff odds:
  1. Bruins
  2. Penguins
  3. Islanders
  4. Kings
  5. Kraken
• “That is the first time in a while that that has really come home.” — Chris (90:45)

Notable Quotes

• On NHL Wildcard Insanity:
  “The wildcard race is absolutely insane... it’s fucking drunk.” — Dan Powers (09:21)
• On People Overhyping Blockbusters:
  “When someone just sees a great blockbuster and they haven’t seen a great blockbuster in a while, and then they talk about it like it’s the best movie they’ve ever seen, they’re just being like, I loved it.” — Dan Powers (04:38)
• On Negative Goal Differentials in the Pacific:
  “This division is so bad — tragedy.” — Chris Powers (26:27)
• On the Predators' Surge:
  “The Preds were dead, dude. They were fucking dead... Now Stammer's got 33 fucking goals and the Preds are in a wild card.” — Chris Powers (33:44)
• On The Columbus Surge:
  “The [Columbus Blue Jackets] after a super late free fall last year... is such an amazing thing for those fans and some of the best fans in the league.” — Chris Powers (24:55)
• On Skid Mark Inquiry:
  “If you are not washing the thing that goes directly on your ball sack and dick, you are a fucking pig person.” — Dan Powers (82:46)
• On Hockey Community Spirit:
  “The best thing about the hockey community is everyone always steps up in these moments of tragedy and we want to be a part of that.” — Dan Powers (48:30)
• On 90s Nostalgia:
  “We're living in a simulation, distracted from our simulation with another simulation.” — Evan Dr. Watkins (70:42)
• On NHL Teams Down the Stretch:
  “So many of these teams we're talking about, like—hey, assholes, win games down the stretch here... No one is doing it except [the Predators].” — Dan Powers (38:12)

Important Timestamps

• Wildcard Race Deep-Dive: 09:12–13:57
• “Shithead/Heartbreak/Fun” Bubble Teams Segments: 13:57–24:58
• Western Conference Bubble & Predators Debate: 25:08–38:24
• Frozen Four Bracket & College Hockey: 39:40–46:48
• Jesse Pierce Tribute: 46:48–49:48
• '90s Nostalgia/Not Ice: 53:24–78:10
• Beer League Hotline (Skid Mark Incident): 78:15–88:32
• Bauer Blind Rankings: 88:32–90:50

Memorable Moments

• Chris’s rant about never using new things because “then they're not new anymore” (01:21)
• The team’s agreement that if Vegas or Edmonton misses, there will be “catastrophic” fallout (25:08)
• The hosts openly bickering over who is grosser about washing their hockey jock (80:07–83:08)
• Laughter about trying to revive POGS and weird '90s collectibles (71:15–72:10)

Listener Utility

• This episode delivers a minute-by-minute, division-by-division update for any NHL fan looking to catch up quickly on playoff scenarios, with passionate, sometimes absurd opinions and playful debates.
• The college hockey updates, particularly on the Frozen Four, deliver concise, energetic insights and call-outs for teams over- (and under-) performing heading into the NCAA tournament.
• Nostalgia and side banter supply total entertainment value, with surprising coherence tied to current trends, and the Beer League Hotline always delivers the locker room reality check.

For full playoff odds, predictions, more Beer League debauchery, and the next round of NCAA picks, tune in Thursday, or catch the Empty Netters’ Utah game live content. And—skate hard!