Empty Netters Podcast – Ep: "The Sabres Are Unstoppable & The Islanders Have Their Superstar" w/ Matthew Schaefer

Date: March 10, 2026
Host: Almost Friday Media (Dan Powers, Chris Powers, Evan "Dr." Watkins)
Featured Guest: Matthew Schaefer (New York Islanders)

Episode Overview

This episode of Empty Netters dives deep into the raucous state of the NHL as the brothers celebrate the surging Buffalo Sabres, analyze wild high-scoring games, and hand out three-quarter season awards. The centerpiece is a candid, lively interview with Islanders first-overall pick Matthew Schaefer—already shaking up the franchise as a rookie. The team also takes listener questions, shares beer league war stories, and, as always, delights in off-ice antics, viral marketing fails, and elite food debates.

Key Segments and Discussion Highlights

Viral Marketing Madness: The McDonald's "Big Arch" (00:03-09:01)

• Viral CEO Burger Taste Test: Hosts lampoon McDonald's CEO Chris Kempczinski’s awkward “Big Arch” burger pitch ("He keeps saying ‘this product, this product’. It's a fudgeing burger." – Dan, 03:48), doubting whether the cringe factor was accidental or part of viral marketing genius.
  • "There's no such thing as bad publicity." – Evan, 05:26
• Burger King Counterattack: They riff on Burger King’s CEO “devouring the Whopper” as a counter-move and connect the chaos to purposeful, meme-driven marketing.
• Notable Quote:
  • “This is the worst video ever made...now people will buy Big Arch out of spite.” – Chris, 06:58

NHL Hot Ice: Sabres’ Drunken Game & League Roundup (09:01–24:54)

Buffalo Sabres: The Drunkest Game Ever (09:41–17:09)

• Recap of Sabres vs Lightning, an 8-7 regulation thriller:
  • “That game was so drunk, it was unbelievable. Candidate for drunkest game of the season.” – Dan, 09:41
  • Discussed wild lead changes, non-stop scoring, and the general “buzz” around the Sabres’
  • Joy in the game’s absurdity and reflecting on the evolution of scoring in hockey
  • Notable Quote:
    • “It would be sick if it was like seven, six every night... but there’s an argument that it’s too horny and too drunk!” – Dan & Chris, 16:20
• Sabres Ascension:
  • Acknowledgment of their journey from last to playoff contention:
    • “We decided to be good.” – Chris, 14:27
    • “They flipped the switch. Somewhere in the locker room they had a switch.” – Evan, 14:32

Injury Roundup (17:10–24:54)

• Key Injuries:
  • Rupe Hintz (Stars): Hosts advocate resting him through playoffs to preserve health.
  • Dylan Larkin (Red Wings): “Don’t worry about the curse of March... Larks, take a little break.”
  • Gabe Landeskog (Avalanche): Sidelined with friendly-fire penile injury from a Cale Makar shot.
    • “The last thing the league needs is a hurt dick.” – Dan, 20:55
    • Joke about a potential “Landy Standy” Viagra endorsement, escalating the bit to absurdity.

Quarter-Season NHL Awards Discussion (27:15–44:43)

Major Awards Chatter:

Timestamps for each major award

• Hart Trophy (MVP) (27:24–33:24)
  • Chris: Nikita Kucherov—“the best player alive, doesn’t get enough respect.” (28:21)
  • Dan: Macklin Celebrini—if the Sharks make the playoffs and he breaks 100 points, he’s the MVP for actually redefining “most valuable.”
• Norris Trophy (Best Defenseman) (34:18–37:18)
  • Consensus: Zach Werenski as the “perfect defenseman,” but Evan Bouchard is closing the gap if his offensive pace continues.
• Vezina Trophy (Best Goalie) (37:19–40:00)
  • Chris: “Vasilevskiy leads the league in wins...doing everything. Tampa might finish first.” (38:23)
  • Dan: “Illya Sorokin leads league in shutouts; if Isles surge, he’s got it.” (39:10)
• Calder Trophy (Best Rookie) (40:04–40:41)
  • No debate: “Matthew Schaefer, it’s you all day, baby.” (40:12)
• Selke & Jack Adams (40:43–44:46)
  • Selke (Best Defensive Forward): Nick Suzuki is the runaway favorite.
  • Jack Adams (Best Coach): Lindy Ruff (Buffalo) and Dan Muse (Penguins) for transformative, against-all-odds coaching jobs.
    • “Lindy Ruff is Jesus Christ, and we are his chosen disciples.” – Dan, 42:05

FEATURE INTERVIEW: Matthew Schaefer, Islanders’ Superstar Defenseman (49:15–87:45)

Background & Breakout Year (49:15–55:08)

• Draft Narrative: Schaefer went first overall in 2025. After initial skepticism about NHL readiness, he's exceeding all teenage defensemen records and changing the entire franchise vibe.
  • “You’ve only been around the boys for half a year, so it can’t all be them...Where does the confidence come from?” – Dan, 57:57

On Confidence, Family, and Team Vibes (55:09–69:53)

• Role Models: Cites help from living with veteran Matt Martin (“Marty”) and his family, emphasizing unique support from the oldest to youngest.
  • “Living with Marty and his family helps...when you have a dash-4 game, just seeing the girls [kids], it helps.” – Matthew, 59:17
• Gift Story: Emotional story about Marty waiting two years to get him a special bracelet engraved with his late mother’s handwriting—a symbol of support and belonging. (62:22–63:42)
• Team Chemistry:
  • Praises open, fun energy among vets and the infectious, “young” spirit he brings.
    • “We have something really good going for us right now. I think just...bringing a little bit of that young personality.” – Matthew, 67:47

Locker Room Life & Personal Favorites (64:26–85:14)

• Mario Kart on Planes: Building connections via all-night tournaments. “Luigi dude. Yes!” (64:34)
• Game Day Fits: His billet mom, Sid, lays out his pregame outfits (“She’s packing for me on trips...”) (75:23)
• Record-Breaking Season:
  • Most goals by an 18-yr-old NHL defenseman, multiple defenseman records
    • “Most multi-goal games by a defenseman in NHL history...” “You didn’t even score 20 in U15s!” (77:13)
  • Stays humble, dedicating milestones to teammates, family, process.

Rapid-Fire Pass/Shoot/Score: Guilty Pleasures & EDM DJs (78:35–83:48)

• Musical Tastes:
  • Pass: Frank Walker (but “deep down, I love him.”)
  • Shoot: James Hype
  • Score: David Guetta (OG party vibes)
• Food Picks:
  • Ranks Chipotle, Geno’s panzos, Mustang’s wings; not a big wings guy but they grow on him.

Closing Thoughts:

• Life on Long Island: Hints he’s found a home—family, food, and fun are central to his development.
• Notable Quote (on impact):
  • “Matthew Schaefer has completely changed this franchise. It is truly Sidney Crosby, Alexander Ovechkin level stuff...” – Dan, 88:00

Beer League & Listener Hotline (118:31–122:19)

• Beer League Heroics: Listener submission about a retired goalie who still suits up as backup to “work the door” and be part of the team—hosts celebrate it as the ultimate community move.
  • “He now gets to shower with the boys. And that is—that’s why he does it.” – Chris, 121:19

Bauer Blind Team-Deadline Rankings (122:26–126:45)

• Best/Worst at the Deadline:
  • 5. Oilers (“disappointing moves”)
  • 4. Lightning
  • 3. Blues
  • 2. Ducks
  • 1. Utah Mammoth (“Weeks is better because of the term...I’m so pumped about Weeks being on the Mammoth.”)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments with Timestamps

• “That game was so drunk, it was unbelievable.” – Dan, 09:41 [Sabres/Lightning game]
• “It is literally the best Chinese food I’ve ever had to this day, swear to God.” – Dan, 117:14 [on Green Leaves, York Beach, ME]
• “You are the king of the island. Like, it’s unbelievable. He’s phenomenal.” – Dan about Matthew Schaefer, 89:13
• Schaefer on confidence: “You strive to be perfect, but you’ll never ever be perfect. There’ll always be things that you can work on...” – Matthew, 57:23
• “We don’t slut shame.” – Dan, 23:41
• On Islanders team vibe: “I feel like our d-core...didn’t know they had that offensive ability… now it’s, ‘let it rip.’” – Matthew, 67:22

Summary Takeaways

• The Empty Netters crew delivers irreverent, contagious hockey enthusiasm—poking fun at viral branding, immersing themselves in wild NHL swings, and celebrating hockey’s best and weirdest.
• Matthew Schaefer’s segment stands out for its authenticity and warmth. His impact on the Islanders transcends stats, blending humility, leadership, and youthful exuberance.
• Off-ice topics—beer league devotion, food debates, and locker room comedy—balance in-depth analysis with the brotherly “hockey is family” spirit.
• The episode is a must-listen for both hardcore and casual fans eager to understand the game’s new guard, while enjoying the camaraderie that only former players-turned-podcasters can provide.

Table of Important Segments & Timestamps

| Section | Time | |---------------------------------------------|-----------------| | McDonald's/Burger viral marketing | 00:03–09:01 | | Sabres vs. Lightning/Hot Ice | 09:41–17:09 | | Injury Roundup | 17:10–24:54 | | Season Awards Roundtable | 27:15–44:43 | | Matthew Schaefer Interview | 49:15–87:45 | | Beer League Hotline | 118:31–122:19 | | Trade Deadline Rankings | 122:26–126:45 |

For best effect, check out:

• Matthew Schaefer on family, Marty Martin, and team-building (57:57–63:42)
• Hart Trophy/Kucherov discussion (27:24–28:31, 30:07)
• The beer league towel-goalie story (118:31) for pure "hockey-for-the-love" vibes

Vibe: High-energy, irreverent, proudly hockey-nerd. If you like inside jokes, mythic food rants, and human stories from future superstars, this episode is for you.