The Yzerplan Goes Up In Smoke As The Red Wings Fire Stevie Y

Summary

Empty Netters Podcast | "The Yzerplan Goes Up In Smoke As The Red Wings Fire Stevie Y"

Episode Date: July 16, 2026
Hosts: Dan Powers, Chris, Evan (Dr. Watkins)
Producer: Almost Friday Media

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Overview

This episode of Empty Netters focuses on the seismic shakeup in Detroit: Steve Yzerman, revered Red Wings legend and General Manager, has "stepped down" (read: been fired) after seven playoff-less seasons and a stalled rebuild. The hosts break down what went wrong with the so-called "Yzerplan," critique the front office's handling of trade requests, and question the wisdom of hiring franchise icons for major management roles. Beyond Detroit, the crew blitzes through major NHL news, shares uniquely Empty Netters takes on sports and life, and delivers their signature mix of hockey insight, locker-room banter, and absurdist humor.

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Breakdown of Key Discussion Points

1. The Yzerplan Implodes: Steve Yzerman Out as Red Wings GM

• [02:33] Segment Start

• The Breaking News: Steve Yzerman has stepped down as GM, with the team claiming he's moving to an "advisor" role—a title the hosts lampoon as purely ceremonial. “That’s, like, not even a real role.” (Dan Powers, 04:17)
• Was He Really Fired? The hosts agree the “stepping down” line is absurd: “We all know you were fired.” (Chris, 03:40)
• Red Wings Rebuild Failure: Dan admits he defended Yzerman for years but can't anymore. Chris asserts, “There is no ‘Yzerplan.’”
• Key Missteps:
  • Letting the Dylan Larkin trade request fester
  • Passing on a crucial opportunity to rebuild at the draft and free agency
  • Only notable signing: Victor Arvidsson—no significant moves despite team turmoil

“Every deadline, every summer, I think the Yzerplan is going to materialize…and then nothing happens.”
— Dan Powers (05:02)

• Dylan Larkin’s Trade Request as the Domino: This event seems to have forced ownership’s hand, with speculation that Larkin’s discontent prompted Yzerman’s ouster.

“You have to get shit like this done. It’s…unfortunately…every step of the way, it’s felt like, oh, they just barely didn’t do enough.”
— Dan Powers (14:42)

• Should You Trade Immediately After a Request? The guys advocate for decisive, immediate action to maximize trade value and avoid toxic narratives:

“Don’t let a bunch of narratives start about what the value is…Just start fucking slinging deals.”
— Dan Powers (08:08)

• Poisoned Hand-off: Now, the unenviable job of trading their disgruntled captain falls to a new GM—making things “brutal” for whoever takes over.

“Whoever they bring in now—‘You have to trade Dylan Larkin immediately.’”
— Chris (15:47)

• Legacy & "Hiring the Legend" Problem: The failed Yzerplan sours Yzerman’s legendary status for younger fans and recasts the larger issue of pinning management hopes on icons.

“It always makes me bashful about hiring legends…because if it doesn’t go well, it fucking sucks.”
— Dan Powers (17:19)

Timestamps:

• 02:33–18:46: Full Yzerman/Red Wings segment

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2. NHL News Blitz

• [18:53] Segment Start

a. Macklin Celebrini: NHL 27 Cover & Team-First Mentality

• Celebrini lands on the cover of NHL 27 and stuns by offering to take a pay cut to help the Sharks remain competitive.

“This moment is big…We had Sid, then we had Connor, now we have this kid. He is just superstar, superstar, superstar.”
— Dan Powers (21:32)

• Debates cover-jinxes, salary precedents, and the impact of generational players choosing less to “win.”
• Discussion of cost of living implications for salary-friendly superstars.

b. LA Kings’ Financial Strategy: Flexibility Over Long-Term Ties

• Analysis of Kings’ veteran-heavy, short-term approach—aiming to remain flexible and potentially land a “whale” like Auston Matthews or Connor McDavid if they hit free agency.

“I want to be able to bob and weave every year.”
— Chris (25:05)

• Weighing the risks: the approach is all-or-nothing, possibly resulting in either a blockbuster acquisition or a teardown.

c. Patrick Laine’s “Make-or-Break” Moment

• Laine, only 28 but with three 20+ goal seasons, faces a crossroads after injuries and inconsistent performance; could be out of the NHL if things don’t go right.

“Is he going to get another deal somewhere? I think that is insane…”
— Dan Powers (30:13)

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3. Rapid-Fire: Fun & Quirky News Stories

• [39:14] Segment Start

• Neil the Elephant Seal, Internet Star: A 2,000+ lb Tasmanian seal causing mayhem (blocking traffic, eating cones), with 1.5 million TikTok followers.
• Cyclospora (“Cyclone Diarrhea”): Jokes about America’s “hot diarrhea summer” due to a foodborne parasite; tips and banter on surviving new outbreaks and skepticism over food safety in the U.S.
• Live Music & City Life: Short conversation on the emotional value of going to live music events, especially at iconic venues like Hollywood Bowl.

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4. Cool Hockey Updates & Fan Engagement

• [56:18] Segment Start

a. Islanders’ Crowdsourced Third Jersey

• Fans design the Islanders’ new third jersey via an online tool; the winning design will be worn on ice, with top five decided by committee and then voted by fans.

“This is one of the coolest things I’ve seen a team do in the NHL.”
— Chris (56:18)

• Banter about percentages of jersey sales and the explosion of creative concepts on social media.

b. Hit Different Golf Plug

• The hosts’ new project: a golf-focused channel, with energetic previews and banter from recent shoots.

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5. Signature Segments

• [65:40] Segment Start

Fraud Watch

• Chris: Drain technology—why are they always clogged? (67:34)
• Evan: The phrase “LOL”—no one’s literally “laughing out loud”; it’s just sarcasm or filler (71:37)
• Dan: Summer itself—too short, ruined by adult responsibilities and sport schedules (74:21)

Top Hits

• Dan: Baldness—Pitbull’s “bald cap world record” raises acceptance
• Chris: Card tricks—wishing magic was more in vogue and defending being mystified
• Evan: Live music (especially orchestras at the Hollywood Bowl) as peak life experiences

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6. Blind Ranking: Live Action Nickelodeon Shows (90s)

• [92:04] Segment Start

• “All That” vs. “Are You Afraid of the Dark” vs. “Salute Your Shorts” vs. “Pete & Pete” vs. “Clarissa Explains It All”
• Heated debate on nostalgia, comedy, and childhood fears (i.e., Are You Afraid of the Dark's terrifying intro)
• Game shows to be ranked in a future episode

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “There is no Yzerplan.” — Chris (05:11)
• “Don’t let a bunch of narratives start about what the value is…Just start fucking slinging deals.” — Dan Powers (08:08)
• “If you made me do the other thing, we would never be good.” — Chris, on the necessity for long-term thinking in rebuilds (26:14)
• “Every magician is a comedy magician. I feel like we have been tricked by David Blaines of the world.” — Dan Powers (86:47)
• “If you are trying to dial in…and get focused on some work, maybe you’re golfing, you need to get a little bit more focus, boom. A pouch is going to take care of that for you.” — Dan Powers, on nicotine pouches (64:19)
• “Summer is on fraud watch because it’s way too short…” — Dan Powers (78:14)

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Segment Timestamps for Easy Navigation

• Yzerman/Red Wings discussion: 02:33–18:46
• NHL News Blitz: 18:53–29:09
• Patrick Laine segment: 29:10–34:14
• Pop Culture / Fun News: 39:14–56:18
• Islanders Jersey Contest: 56:18–61:08
• Fraud Watch/Top Hits: 65:40–92:04
• Blind Ranking (Nick 90s shows): 92:04–101:29

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Takeaways for Hockey Fans & Listeners

• The Yzerplan's failure is now a cautionary tale in NHL circles: don’t rely on legend hires, don’t let trade dramas linger, and don’t mistake “the plan” for actual progress.
• Modern sports management increasingly demands speed and transparency—fans and the media spot hesitation and double-speak instantly.
• Fan engagement is evolving: from direct jersey design involvement to viral sports mascots, the league’s culture is shifting in real time.
• Signature Empty Netters tone: deep hockey insight, irreverent humor, and tangents that are as entertaining as they are off-the-wall.

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For more episodes and extra content, including their upcoming Fanatics Fest guest (teased as possibly an NHL top 5 player ever), subscribe to Empty Netters across platforms and check out their merch and new golf channel.

Until next time, skate hard.

Transcript

[Dan Powers]

Welcome to the Empty Netters podcast.

[Chris]

Can you believe what this has become?

[Evan]

There was a full 48 hours where I felt like I was like literally Superman.

[Dan Powers]

Jumbo loves playing Fortnite. So does he. He gets on the sticks. Did TR show you the saunacycle or was that already. No, I invented that.

[Chris]

Almost a year now that I haven't taken a body check. That's kind of nice.

[Dan Powers]

So we are back. We are horned up and we are going deep finished tonight with some chicken fingers and a few Guinnesses.

[Chris]

Ran into you guys.

[Dan Powers]

And that's where this pod came to ice. Is ready. And we're back with another episode of the Empty Netters podcast, brought to you by BetMGM. I am one of your hosts, Dan powers. We got Dr. Watkins back on the sticks.

[Evan]

Hello, everybody.

[Dan Powers]

And we got CP over here in a pretty crazy fit, as always.

[Evan]

Show us your fit.

[Chris]

I was gonna wait, but dude.

[Evan]

Oh, you can wait.

[Chris]

That's what I mean.

[Dan Powers]

Do you think we were gonna be able to talk on this show and act like you're not wearing something crazy?

[Chris]

You guys talking to Mike? Cause I'm too far away.

[Dan Powers]

Chris has a bunch of fanatics fest stuff on and it's pretty sweet. The jacket's really.

[Evan]

I like the jacket.

[Chris]

They just sent it to us.

[Dan Powers]

It feels like a. Like a NASCAR jacket. Mmm.

[Chris]

Yeah, Especially that part. Look at that. That's a checkered flag if I ever seen one.

[Evan]

It's serving old Pepsi can from the 90s.

[Dan Powers]

That's a good service

[Evan]

as you drink.

[Chris]

What's on here?

[Dan Powers]

Are you an idiot?

[Chris]

I just put it on. I didn't really look.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, well, it's. What's interesting is it looks like a skeleton, but he's also absolutely jacked. And like, he's. It looks skull, but the body.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, that's the subway.

[Dan Powers]

Lean and mean.

[Chris]

He's like crushing the subway.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Oh, he's also hooping.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, he's hooping. He's holding the top. It's like he's riding, he's straddling and.

[Chris]

Yeah, like, like, like the sandworm a little bit.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, he is. He is sort of shy, halluding that he's got the.

[Chris]

Just his championship ring.

[Dan Powers]

Maybe he's got Timbs on timber on Tim's. I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt that you're looking at this upside down, but your inability to identify anything on the screen.

[Chris]

I've taken the one train before. Is remarkable.

[Evan]

It's like when you give a kid a picture book and you're like, point to the owl.

[Dan Powers]

What's happening?

[Evan]

No, that's a frog. This is pretty cool.

[Dan Powers]

Is in the W of New York, which is cool.

[Evan]

I dig it.

[Dan Powers]

Oh. Oh. Sit down.

[Evan]

Have a seat.

[Dan Powers]

But it's great. It all looks great. All looks great.

[Chris]

Extremely sick.

[Dan Powers]

Folks, we've got a fun episode for you today. Massive news. Stevie has stepped down, so we're gonna get into the ISER plan, or what should have been. We're gonna do some NHL newsprint action, checking out what's going on in the world. Then we're gonna play a little bit

[Evan]

of

[Dan Powers]

fraud watch and top hits.

[Evan]

Yep.

[Dan Powers]

And a blind ranking. Let's just jump right into Steve Yzerman.

[Chris]

Yep.

[Dan Powers]

I don't think there's anything other to the. There's nothing to do other than Steve Yzerman steps down as GM of the Red Wings, and this is tough, dude.

[Chris]

I have a thought. I've always said the only example I can come up with to give you guys right now is expressions. I love cool idioms, and I love thinking about the first time it was said where somebody was like, dude, complain. I use this one all the time. But someone's like, complain, and they'll probably help you. And they go, are you sure? And they go, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. And I was like, it's.

[Evan]

Whoa.

[Chris]

Great idiom. You're right. The squeaky wheel does get the grease. And sometimes I think we do things as a society, like, for the first time, and then we think we're getting away with it, but then we do it so many times that it's not real anymore. So, for example, so and so has stepped down. The first time someone was clearly fired, and they went, dude, just say you're stepping down. It probably worked. Cause we went, whoa. He stepped down. And now I cannot fathom why we still put on this charade. When he goes, I've stepped down. I'm like, yes, well, you were fired. And literally, why did you say, I stepped down when we all know you were fired?

[Dan Powers]

This one's especially tough because he's stepping. There they go, he's stepping down. He's going to transition to being an advisor. And I'm like, that's, like, not even a real role.

[Chris]

Of course not.

[Evan]

Yet. Protecting that ego.

[Chris]

And why would you give him a real role after what he's done in his real role?

[Dan Powers]

I. I feel duped. I will. I will put a hand up. I. I have been so defensive of Steve Yzerman over the. The course of. Of this program that we host. Here. And even with every misstep, I was like, I believe. I believe something is going on here. But as you know, or I would hope you would back me up. Over the past two years, I've been like, dude, what are you doing?

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

Every. Every deadline in every summer, I think the ISER plan is going to materialize. And then nothing happens. And I'm like, okay, I don't know what to say anymore. I don'. Defend you.

[Chris]

That's what we said, dude. There. There is no ER plan.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah. So this has just felt like a long time coming, frankly. And. And I just don't get though, what teams are doing when Dylan Lin requests a trade. That had to have been a big piece of these wheels starting to move. Right.

[Chris]

Oh, from. From front office going, yo, yes. Yeah, Yeah, I think that's right.

[Dan Powers]

And it's then like, you let him draft you let him go through an entire free agency. Yeah. And do nothing but sign Victor Arvidsson. And then you go like this. Now you're fired.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

And I'm like, wouldn't it have been nice if you were already thinking about this to give someone else a shot to do that drafting and to do the free agents signings or attempts.

[Chris]

Yeah. And I think you can't tell him, I don't think. Because my fear, Dan was going to be, when did Dylan ask for that trade? Pretty mid June or something.

[Dan Powers]

Yes. No, no, we were.

[Evan]

Yeah, no, it was early June. Cause we were in Carolina when that happened.

[Dan Powers]

Yes, I think we were.

[Evan]

Game two. Yeah, it was right before game two.

[Chris]

So what I was gonna say was it's kind of a tough ask to hire someone two and a half weeks before the draft and three weeks before free agency starts and go, go, go trade Larkin. Get ready for the draft. You know, that's just a big ask. I think maybe someone could do it. But that's just. That would have felt like a lot for me, to the point that I almost wish you would tell him. You go, hey, dude, you're fired. But we need you to get your shit together and help us draft and trade Larkin. But that wouldn't have worked either. So I think they were just fucked. And you were praying that you go, stevie, you're here forever. We need your best. We did your best draft of all time. And then you try to get your best out of him, and then you unceremoniously cut his head off right after that.

[Dan Powers]

Here's a take. I feel like when. And this is going to be a contradictory take because there's a Great example of this not being how you should operate. That happened a couple months ago. I hate the way you're sitting and looking at me. I'd like you to change everything you're doing. The way your hands are folded and the way you're like. It feels like we're in a deposition.

[Chris]

I actually, right before you said that felt so good. I literally was like, I'm actually so comfortable, and sometimes I'm fidgety. This is amazing.

[Dan Powers]

I'm sorry.

[Chris]

Like, I'm potting at my best right now.

[Dan Powers]

I'm sorry.

[Evan]

Objection.

[Chris]

Yeah, and then you said that.

[Dan Powers]

I hate. I'm sorry. It's just like you. It felt like we were in court. You know?

[Evan]

Why don't you put your hands behind your head?

[Dan Powers]

Not.

[Evan]

Yeah, now you look chill.

[Dan Powers]

You look chill.

[Evan]

But then now you're way too far from the money.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah. No. All right. It's a little bit better. I think that when someone requests a trade, you should do it immediately.

[Chris]

You should trade them immediately.

[Dan Powers]

How about this? Take. Okay, hear me out. The longer you wait, the more people are able to talk about it, the more fucking journos are allowed to write their stupid little article about what you could get, the more idiot creators like us get to make videos. That's like, here's what you could get for Dylan Larkin. Don't let a bunch of narratives start about what the value is, this, that, the other. Just start fucking slinging deals, dude. If Dylan Larkin called me and went like this, hey, yeah, I'm sorry, man. I. I just want a new start. I want a new change. I want to go. Chance to win. I go like this. I'm absolutely bummed, dude. But I understand. Hang up that phone, I pick up another and go like this. I got Dylan Larkin on the block. What can you give me?

[Chris]

Yeah, I think. And you're gonna have to try to remember which one this was. I believe it was either Johnny Hockey or Tkachuk Huberdeau, but I don' twe both don't like the boys club of GMs for the RFA. Shit like that seems stupid. What I do love and respect is it was one of those big trades. I forget which one. The trade got done out of fucking nowhere. And then there were all these reports where the GM of whichever team it was was like, yeah, they told me. I said, please don't tell anyone. Cause it goes to hell. I started calling GMs. Here are my offers. Please don't tell anyone. And no one did, because they all could have killed me with the leverage. But we respect the game. And they kept it quiet. I love that. And that's what I would have done here. As soon as Dylan called, I would have gone. Understood. I will do everything in my power to get you somewhere you're happy. Please have your team not leak this to the press with your three team. Tell me your three teams. I don't need the whole world hearing that. You will only go, you know, just tell me. I will handle. You will get traded. That's what should have happened.

[Dan Powers]

Well, I mean, I don't really get what you're saying, pal. Like, you were literally just saying that you think GM should try to make trades. I'm like, yeah, I agree. Like, I understand you're saying that you don't want people to leak stuff, but like that. I don't think that's. Or that's not the point that I was trying to make. I'm trying to make a point that's like, what, what are you waiting for? I would be Billy Bean on deadline day. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say. Like, start fucking getting shit going, dude. Because all these, all this draw out and then the way that you handle it where you're like, oh, you know, I'm not gonna get fleeced here. I'm like, dude, you start talking about getting fleeced, that's how you get fleeced. Yeah, just like get, do your job. Like get, get shit working.

[Chris]

I bet, I bet he was.

[Dan Powers]

I bet he made some phone calls. I doubt it, pal, because it is July 15th.

[Chris]

I love the idea of your, like, Dylan Larkin tells Eisman that and he's like, okay, and then just hasn't done anything.

[Dan Powers]

I, I legitimately think that that's possible.

[Evan]

It is what happened so far.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, I mean, literally it is what has happened. So it's been a month and a half pretty much.

[Evan]

He did say there's no guarantee he can do it though, right? Remember he. Yeah, he's on a contract.

[Dan Powers]

I think that was kind of the arrogance of like, I'm not going to get strong armed. And I'm like, well, your captain and first line center doesn't play for your team. Yeah. So you already been strong armed, so do something, dude. It's like, I almost respect it more when people are like, it's a way different situation. But when the Rangers traded for Patrick Kane, we talked about it for so long. They got fleeced because he was like, I will only go to the Rangers. But it's like, at least you made a trade, dude. And now you can move on and, and try to figure something out. Yeah, that is way different here because Dylan Larkin is massively under contract. He's 29 years old and is a star player in the, in my opinion.

[Chris]

The tricky thing though is the fans, or I think at least fans lose their shit over a bad trade. So if you go, I just gotta get Larkin out of here and then it gets announced like Dylan Larkin has been traded to the Wild for a bag of pucks. You go, are you fucking kidding me? Well, sure, versus Dylan Larkin is just still on the wings, disgruntled. But you as a fan go, whatever, we still have Dylan Larkin. And then if Dylan Larkin holds out because he's like, I said, trade me, then the fan are like, fuck you, Dylan. You know, instead of like fuck you, Steve for trading him for pucks.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, that's a great take for self preservation, but like, I just don't think that's the way to do a good job here. Again, I don't know. Shit, I'm just fucking. I'm talking about the movie Moneyball here and playing FIFA manager mode. But genuinely, I don't think I've ever seen it go. Well, when people play this game, when the GM is speaking about a player, now we're talking about trades with specific people. But like when a GM is talking about a player who doesn't want to be there, it's just always messy to me. I'm like, just, just make a deal, dude.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

And it's like, what's stopping you? For what's. Dylan goes like this. Here are my three teams. I would go. I would immediately sit down with myself or my team and go, this is what I will do this for. And listen to your point, this is maybe exactly what he did. But I would go, okay, Wild this, Florida this, Vegas this. And I would call all three and go, I have Dylan Larkin. This is exactly what I want. Do not pick up the phone and talk to me again unless you can do this or unless you have a rebuttal. Goodbye. And I would go, let's see. And then it would be a. I would play a game of this person said they can't do that. I would either accept their return or go, nope, I now need this. And I would literally just do that non stop until the deal was done. Truly.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah, I hear you. But I'm my guess. And I don't know shit either, but my guess is he did exactly that.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, again, I just said that. Like you, you, you said maybe he has been doing that And I'm saying, let's live in a world where he didn't. Because in my opinion, there is no fucking way that you can do this. And it's been 40 days. Because personally, I don't believe that every team that he talked to was so, like, we will literally only give you a third round pick. Cause then it's just like, okay, this is an unrealistic human being is my opinion. I just.

[Chris]

You.

[Dan Powers]

You have to get shit like this done. And it's. It's. This is. Unfortunately, obviously, there hasn't been significant trade requests out of Detroit, but it's like, I don't know, every step of the way, it's felt like, oh, they just barely didn't do enough. And then when they go get a player like Gibson or like Falk, you're like, this. It kind of wasn't enough. And it's like, that's been going on for fucking seven years.

[Chris]

Do you think if Larkin had been traded by now, Yzerman would have a job?

[Dan Powers]

I don't think so. I think, honest to God, I bet that they were hoping that he would have been and they would have gone. Now. You're fired. Because it would have been in the wake of your captain requesting a trade only two and a half, three years into his big deal. It just looks great for whoever makes this decision because they're like, dude, Larkin's been traded. You're fired. And everyone would have been like, oh, yeah, of course.

[Evan]

He quiet quit.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah. But now it's this, like, weird.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Powers]

You still have this massive trade looming, and we're now passing this on to a new person. I think it would have been better if he had been traded. And then he gets fired.

[Chris]

Me too. Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

Transition to an advisory role.

[Chris]

Yeah. I think it's just as hard for whoever they bring in now to go, hey, what's up? You're hired. You have to trade Dylan Larkin immediately.

[Dan Powers]

Yes. It's brutal.

[Chris]

And he's like, oh, okay. The Wings never made the playoffs under Steve ui. That is insane.

[Evan]

That's crazy.

[Dan Powers]

Not once, seven year span. Also, I feel like we're all waking up from this, like, silent stupor of being like, Yzerman was a sick. I was in it. Like, I was. I used to walk around and be like this. All the success in Tampa was actually all because of him. Even though he wasn't the GM when they won those cups. And now he came here and everyone was like, the Iser plan is happening and we're seven years in. They never made the Playoffs. Once Dylan Larkin has requested a trade and you're gone, you're done. Dunions. Yeah. Like, does this man get a GM job again?

[Evan]

Probably.

[Chris]

I don't know. The way the league works, this shit happens all the time, so probably. But I do think this tenure was long enough. Put it this way, anybody else who wasn't a Wings legend would have been fired years ago, and then they definitely would have got another job because they would have gone, oh, you had three bad years. But he has a bad sample size here in Detroit, which is not good.

[Dan Powers]

Also, two more topics for you on this one. Number one, this always makes me bashful about hiring legends.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

Because then when this happens, you're like, that sucked. Like, it's with the Bruins when people are like, bring Chara in. Like, make Chara the gm. Make Bergeron the gm. I'm like, that would be great. If it goes well.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

If it doesn't go well, it fucking sucks. Like, we're. You see it in LA with Blakey. Like, Blakey gets fired, and you're like, oof, that's tough. And, like, if Robitaille gets fired, that's tough.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

And especially if things start going really shit.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

Like, there's a bunch of Red Wings fans right now who are like, I fucking hate Steve Yzerman. And I'm like, that sucks, dude. Because, like, that is. That is a person you should love forever, no matter what.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

But a bunch of young Red Wing fans are like, who is this fucking pothead?

[Chris]

Fuck you.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

And I'm like, no, dude, do not think that he's the man. That is brutal. The other thing, quickly, is, are. Are the Red Wings, like, fucked?

[Chris]

Oh, yeah.

[Evan]

They.

[Chris]

They are.

[Dan Powers]

The pronger was talking about it this morning. He was like, what is their core? Like, yeah, Raymond Insider. I. You know, like, that's it now. Like, Larkin's gone. It just. It's. They're in a weird, weird spot, dude. Like, they just traded Cosa there. I don't know what is happening.

[Chris]

Same. They are in there in purgatory. It's a nightmare.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah. Dark days for Detroit.

[Chris]

Unless you. Unless you trade Larkin for Matthews, which I doubt happens. Same.

[Dan Powers]

Okay, let's get into a news blitz. Five minutes on the clock for each topic.

[Evan]

I'm ready.

[Dan Powers]

Starting now. Macklin Celebrini is on the COVID of NHL 27, and there are reports that he is willing to take a pay cut to keep the Sharks good forever. Thoughts?

[Chris]

1. Should I take a bow?

[Dan Powers]

I was about to say, do not try to claim this because it is what we've both said from the beginning and I interrupted you last episode and go, don't try to claim Macklin is proving your point because Macklin is different. You know I said exactly that, right?

[Chris]

But I'm right, so.

[Dan Powers]

Well, so am I.

[Chris]

Okay, well, let's both take a bow then, because we are geniuses. And there was no natural born universe where he was going to take 18 mil or more. And people thought that, like, there were actually people who were like, this is the bar now.

[Dan Powers]

There are a lot of people who are going, macklin is going to get paid 25 mil a year. And I don't think he's going to do that.

[Chris]

I don't like that he's on the COVID I think he is different. So nothing phases him except being sick at hockey. So I'm not actually saying any coverage shit, but I just don't need that for him yet.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah. Is there an NHL cover jinx?

[Chris]

Not really, but that shit happened to Ziegress. I actually think that mattered in a big way. Like Zegris got on the COVID and then like all hell broke loose.

[Evan]

What sport is the jinx in?

[Dan Powers]

Is it football? Right. Madden Kirsch is like a. Was a significant thing.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

Here's my take. I don't give a flying fuck about the COVID of sports video games anymore. I think it is so fucking meaningless

[Evan]

to me, especially now that the games aren't physical copies anymore. So it like doesn't matter.

[Dan Powers]

It's. First of all, it's really cool. Like, it's really cool for Macklin. That's awesome. Also, it looks sick. Like the colors. I think it's the deluxe edition. The color scheming with his jersey looks really awesome. I. And I'm sure there's a nice little payday for this. I don't.

[Evan]

True.

[Dan Powers]

I don't. I mean, this NHL has not been a good video game in a long time either. Yeah.

[Chris]

Why is that? I don't know.

[Dan Powers]

It's just bad.

[Chris]

But yeah, it's cool. And I. I expected him to be on many covers. Many, many covers. So whatever. And actually, maybe that's cool. Maybe. Maybe it starts now and maybe he's on the COVID for the next 10 years and we start a dynastic run

[Dan Powers]

and then they change it to Macklin Celebrini 3D hockey.

[Chris]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Evan]

Dude, that was a great game.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, that would be.

[Chris]

That actually would be too much because then there's a lot of pressure. The pressure that comes with an NHL cover something. The pressure that comes with. By having him called. Macklin, delivering his 3D.

[Evan]

Well, you gotta win a couple cups

[Chris]

before you can do that without.

[Dan Powers]

Listen, this is maybe a little premature, but without question, this is the. I don't want to say this solidifies it. I feel like it already did. But he. This moment is big in solidifying that. Like, we had Sid, then we had Conor, now we have this kid. Like it is. He has answered every single question and is just superstar, superstar, superstar.

[Chris]

When he was literally the best player on the Olympic team, that's when it was all.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, I actually think it was Worlds too. Like he, he went and did Worlds and like got to see. And then Crosby joined the team and he kept it and was the best player there and like one player of the tournament. Like, I think it's just. He is. He was built on a laboratory.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

It's unbelievable. And he's just doing everything. And now he's about to take a pay cut and all of a sudden the Sharks are a dynasty. Yes.

[Chris]

Which is. We don't have to do it again. But that's all someone else had to do.

[Dan Powers]

Well, now he's taking care of his family, now he's saving kids.

[Chris]

Yeah, see Mac.

[Dan Powers]

And you're mad at someone for saving kids.

[Chris]

Mac's got gold State money. How about that? Mac's got Golden State money. You know, Leo didn't have that. That's a factor. People need to consider that.

[Dan Powers]

It is. What's funny, you never consider this when you have a superstar like Sid who's like this. I am taking less. Like Berg, I am taking less. And then that makes everyone else take less. You wonder those people who are like this. Fuck you, dude.

[Chris]

Yeah, well, you go trade me. Dude, I didn't want to be on this fucking team.

[Dan Powers]

I could have been rich. I don't come from Golden State money. I need money. Now you're making me take less.

[Chris]

Trade me. Dude, that is bullshit.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, taking less only works if anyone else.

[Chris]

Where do you go if you.

[Evan]

I also gotta tell you, the cost of living in Pittsburgh is like half of what it is in Californ Point

[Dan Powers]

in the Bay Area.

[Evan]

The Bay Area is the most expensive place.

[Chris]

Sid, that little snake, he's been living in the burbs outside of Pittsburgh.

[Dan Powers]

Smart man. He's like, smart man.

[Chris]

Milk is 20 cents. Gas is free.

[Dan Powers]

But it's special times for the Sharks. We don't even need this five minutes. How much time would we have left?

[Evan]

You have 23 seconds left.

[Dan Powers]

23 seconds to say whatever you want. Chris.

[Chris]

Okay, who is going to be the COVID next year if not Mac predict right now? Ooh, good guess.

[Dan Powers]

Nice. Not guess. It is. They've already announced it is Matthew Shaver.

[Chris]

Okay, everyone on Kelshi, because otherwise I would bet on beta gm, but they don't have that. I was gonna say careful prediction market. Matthew Schaefer, cover of NHL 28 confirmed.

[Dan Powers]

Yep.

[Chris]

Send me and Dan half of the money.

[Dan Powers]

Unbelievable. Kings Ransom Part 2 so Elliot Friedman went on a little rant the other day talking about the Kings and their financial flexibility. Bringing up the signings that they have, like Hala, like Zuccarello, like Pears, like Lawton. And a lot of people were like, oh, they're bringing in all these old vets. What are they doing? What are they doing? The other take is they are maintaining financial flexibility by signing all of these short term deals with veterans who are going to keep the team solid. Probably right on that last playoff spot bubble area in hopes of landing a Whale in the next year or two. And now everyone is speculating if he means the possibility of an Auston Matthews or a Connor McDavid. So the swirling talk going on right now is that Holland is trying to keep the team relatively competitive, but not commit any money long term to anyone other than their young budding stars like Brant Clark, Quentin Byfield, things like that, Adrian Kempe, so they can bring in one of these guys. Do you think there's any truth to that? Yes.

[Chris]

I forget who we were talking about recently, but I think that if you are not the Ducks, well, whatever, the Duck Sharks, these teams are building something, handing out contracts to the core, then yes, and God, who were we talking about? I always would go so, so, so less in term because I want to be able to bob and weave every year. I wish, I've long said I wish there was literally a rule that contracts could only be one year and it was like a free for all at the end of every season. And if I was a GM and didn't have something set, the future looks so bright, you'd have to rake me over the coals to get anything long. Cause I just want to be able to go, yep, great plug and play and next year, maybe next year, maybe always have the chance. Because some years teams have to just go, we don't have the chance. And as we're pretty well aware in most sports, hockey, funnily enough, is probably the most unique here, you know, before the season starts, if you can win in every sport, and if you can't win, then why in Fuck would I care as a fan? If I'm going, hey, we're going to be a little worse this year because I handed out some short contracts to old guys.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah.

[Chris]

We're just going to not win more obviously than we were going to not win anyway. But fans are like, what do you mean? This guy's old and stinks? And I'm like, who cares? You stink. You're a horrible team. Stay horrible. And then next year, now, maybe we could be good versus if you made me do the other thing, we would never be good.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah. It's interesting to say this. When you look at this team, they only have two players who are on a full no move, that is Panarin and Kempe, and then they only have one, two. Or if it's passed, they only have one, two, three players who are signed past 20, 29. So there is validity in that. They are very financially free. No one is really locked up. They have. Every contract within reason is quite movable. And if you think about it that way, you could also think about a trade deadline situation where all of a sudden you have a guy and you're getting great stuff back. That is the big thing with picks and prospects. They're a little thin.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

So when you talk about one of these whales, you're like, well, what are you sending? But the question is, is Holland playing for a. At the deadline? I'm going to ship out a ton of this stuff and try to bring in someone, but with what I get back from that.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

And I don't know. I don't know if that's the case again, so far, Holland has been a bit of a head scratcher for me, where I'm like, Everyone's like, oh, here comes Holland. Like, he's. He's gonna mix things up. And I'm like, I don't think he has at all.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

And now you are either looking at the situation that has happened and you're like, oh, there is a big plan in place here, or it's one. It's a Hyzer plan situation. And in a year, two years, we go like this. Oh, wait, not. And you're like, oh, that's the risk for me of playing the game of, like, in two years, I'm gonna pull off blank. Because then if you don't, and that was your big plan, you're a fucking idiot. You're fired, and you have destroyed this team.

[Chris]

Yep. But I think that's okay. I mean, it would suck for the Kings and Kings fans, but I think as A GM rather than just live. Or if it was me rather than just living in the margins of we stink. We maybe are a bubble team. I would do this and then crash and burn or be a hero, you know, if. Because if it doesn't work, I go, well, that was my plan and it didn't work. I'm sorry. And I will, I will happily step down and then go on my merry way. Bump it down the road. Two things, Dan. One, he could be. Could be gambling that one of those guys, for example, gets to free agency. Because then you're not giving up anything. We almost never see that anymore. But it wouldn't be the most shocking thing ever if, like Auston Matthews went, I would like to test free agency. I'd go, wow. I would go, wow, for sure. But you know, it could happen. And then two sucks for guys like Drew Doughty who go, okay, so we're sinking my last two years. And I go, yes.

[Dan Powers]

He said one year.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah. Okay, last topic. Patrick Line a the crossroads have officially begun. Patrick Line is currently a Ufa. He does not have a team. He is newly 28 years old. He only played five games last year. He had 44 goals in his second season in the NHL and had 20 plus goals in three of the last five. But we are looking at a scenario where there is a world where Patrick Line is out of the NHL. Not, not this year. He's obviously getting signed. But I'm saying if this year he signs a deal, it doesn't go well, he gets hurt again. You now start asking the question, like, is he going to get another deal somewhere? I think that is insane. I read so many articles talking about the Line a situation and every single one of them was like, this is kind of a make or break year for him. Either he is going to figure it out, stay healthy, or he is not in the National Hockey League anymore. And I was like, what? This guy was a second overall pick and fucking ripped 30 plus goals and then 44 goals in his first two years.

[Chris]

And who, who else went that year?

[Dan Powers]

Number one was someone very significant that you should be able to get Matthews 16.

[Chris]

Because I just remember going, wow. Yeah, it was Matthews. Great job, Chris. I remember going, wow, what a steal. Line A ended up being at two, you know, miracle. He felt like he lost the Matthews lottery. And then it's like, what incredible value. And now I'm like, he's currently going to be a bust now if they're like, yeah, he's out of the league. Yeah, I am with you. Dude, it is flabbergasting. I think it's just he obviously has skill. So I'm going, can you find your role, do your job. Bill Belichick. And if he can't, then he's gone. But do you think he's a guy that would just play in the K, for example, legitimately?

[Dan Powers]

I don't know. To me, he seems like such a homie in that. Like, he's like, he's big in the fashion. Like, he's, he's funny on camera. Like, he doesn't really seem like a get the fuck away from me, I'll just go play hockey anywhere type of guy. But at the same time, I'm like, you're 28, pal. There's no way that you are good to just hang him up here. Like, you probably need a couple more contracts. It's. I think it is utterly stunning the idea of a guy who scored 44 goals in the national in his second year is 28 and is having a hard time finding a contract. That's what's tough about liney for me is he. It's not like he had a hard time adjusting. He is definitely one of these guys. He's like a Matthews at times. He's like a Jake Debrusk, a Chris Kreider, where it's like, you're going to have 35 goals and only 20 assists. And I don't like that type of player. I don't care if you're a wing. I think, as I've said multiple times on this show, I think it is insane when you are a player in the league and you're getting first line, first power play minutes and you, you don't have as many assists as you do goals every year after year. And that's what he is there. There's a part of me that's like, your game is not. Is not ideal for a team. Like, you've got to change your ways to really even that shit out to be a valuable player. And that is a thing. He obviously has an unbelievable shot. His one timer is incredible. But for me, it's like he's 64 and he's getting injured over and over again. And that sucks, man. Like, I, you know, injuries are fucking brutal. You never want to joke around about being genuine. It's like, sucks if a Guy's career at 28 is like, maybe this is it, dude. Like five games last year, like he was so banged up.

[Chris]

Yeah, fuck.

[Dan Powers]

So to me, it's like, buddy, you've got to fucking Focus on that. And hopefully he is. But it's like I would hope that this summer and all of next year, like call Tom Brady.

[Chris]

Seriously. Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Powers]

Like figure out a way to become more pliable. Figure out a way to take care of your body so you never get injured again. Because this, this is it. Like this year is insanely important. And he's only going to get a one year deal, right? Like I would assume so. There's no planet where he gets more than one year. And again at 28, when you scored 44 in your second year, that must feel nuts. So it's like my advice to him, dude, is like you got to become a fucking massive locker room guy and you've got to work on your body being the most durable thing in the world. Otherwise this is one of the great tragedies of all time.

[Chris]

Because he feels like such an asset if he could get it together at all.

[Dan Powers]

Dude, a power play, one time weapon. Who again at one point at what like 19 years or. No, he was probably 20 years old. Scored 44 goals. There was a world after he got drafted where people were talking about is he better than Matthews? Let's talk about that.

[Chris]

Yeah, right buddy.

[Dan Powers]

Let's get back on track here. Call Tom.

[Chris]

Call Tom. That would be cool.

[Dan Powers]

Call Tom. Call Alex Guerrero. Start working on it.

[Chris]

Boom.

[Evan]

Perfect.

[Dan Powers]

Now it is time to take a quick second to tease something.

[Chris]

Yes. We as we've said, boom. We are off to Fanatics Fest this weekend. It starts tomorrow. We will be there on Saturday. Our show live taping. If you were gonna be there. Our show is at 5 o' clock on. I think we can say who we're interviewing. I mean it's public that he's there.

[Dan Powers]

I. Yep. But I don't want to do it.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dan Powers]

I don't want to say it. Cause I want to tease it with awesome footage of it.

[Chris]

Okay. So we have an fucking all timer all time lined up for Saturday.

[Dan Powers]

Absolute banger guest.

[Chris]

And Fanatics Fest is going crazy, dude. I actually didn't realize how much of a numbeato session it is.

[Dan Powers]

It's unbelievable. Dude. We broke into the card game. We're doing card rips. There's just like Topps is going to be there with unbelievable releases. So we're going to be dipping our every box I get my hands on. Yeah, we're going to be guy.

[Chris]

Can I tell you some talent I'm excited about?

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Chris]

Tom Brady.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, he won't talk to you.

[Chris]

David Beckham.

[Dan Powers]

He will talk to me.

[Chris]

I've Met him.

[Dan Powers]

You haven't done.

[Chris]

I. Blow me, dude. I met him. Joker. Kind of. That'd be cool. All the nicks in there. I'm just such a Federer guy. Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

I don't care. It's still Joker.

[Chris]

The Undertaker.

[Dan Powers]

Unbelievable.

[Evan]

Wait, the pro wrestler?

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Evan]

Fuck yeah.

[Chris]

Big Poppy.

[Dan Powers]

Sick Kaka. So sick.

[Chris]

Oh, my God.

[Dan Powers]

He's incredible

[Chris]

Flow. That'd be cool.

[Dan Powers]

Like Flo Baligun.

[Chris]

Yep.

[Dan Powers]

That was kind of a crazy flow. Drop. Assuming everyone that's our boy.

[Evan]

I thought it was flow from progressive.

[Dan Powers]

I think most people thought that too.

[Chris]

That would actually be numbies.

[Dan Powers]

I think most.

[Chris]

Whoa, look at this, Dan. Roger Clements just. It's gonna be bottom right here for you. Unthinkable picture to use for him. No, I like it like everyone else's current day. We just have like an old Clemens picture. Whoa. Charlie Davies gas. Okay, and then check this out. Dan. This is awesome. When you filter it to NHL, all the Hughes Bros. Will be there. As you know. Flower. Love. Love. Big Hank.

[Evan]

Hell yeah.

[Chris]

Hank Lundquist. Brock Nelson. I want to shake his hand.

[Dan Powers]

Time traveler.

[Chris]

I want to shake that man's hand and ask him what the future's gonna be like.

[Dan Powers]

Or how do I die? Bro, just go like this. You're an American hero.

[Chris]

Thank you for everything you've done. So sick. All time lineup at Fanatics Fest. We are really pumped. I'm really pumped.

[Evan]

The person you're interviewing, are they like top 10 in the NHL? All time. Oh, can we tease it?

[Dan Powers]

That's a great question.

[Chris]

That is a great question.

[Evan]

To give people a little taste.

[Dan Powers]

I would say most people would say, oh. I would say certainly fans of his would go, fucking absolutely. They would even say higher. So.

[Evan]

So top five.

[Dan Powers]

There are some people who would think that. Yeah.

[Evan]

Okay.

[Chris]

God. Wemby's going in, like, a lot of the Knicks are going. And I would not want to be anywhere. I'm sure he signed a contract, but I would want. I wouldn't want to be anywhere near there.

[Dan Powers]

I don't know. It's tummy sticks in the NBA.

[Chris]

True, true, true.

[Dan Powers]

But either way, it's going to be an absolute ripper of a time. Can't wait. If you're there, make sure to come up, say, what's up? We're going to be doing some meet and greet stuff, some hangouts. It'll be awesome. And shout out Fanatics Man. Always taking care of us. We're very excited. This is very, very cool. All right, let's take a quick ad break and jump right back in

[Chris]

there. Are two games left in the World Cup. I know you're thinking, no, Chris, there's one game left. There's the championship on Sunday. Don't forget that the World cup does that bronze medal game. There is a game on Saturday and it's going to be France and I'm recording this before the England game. So I don't know who it's going to be but it's going to be France versus the loser of England, Argentina and then the winner is going to be playing Spain in the World cup final. Which means there are two games left. Which means coincidentally enough, you can get in on the BetMGM2 up early payout. It is the greatest World cup promotion I have ever seen in my life. Literally you just place a pre game match result. Spain's gonna win the World Cup. If they go up by two at any point in the game, you win, the bet is over. We've seen these outrageous comebacks. It does not matter if you have the two up early payout and your team goes up to game over. Cash that ticket, you have a winner. Unbelievable stuff. So at any point anything could happen. It goes to penalties, who cares? You win. So this is offered in every match, all tournament. And there's two left. Please take advantage. And if you haven't got in on the BetMGM action yet, do it right now and use that promo code, netters. That's N E T T E R S. When you sign up you get a fifteen hundred dollar new player offer, which is incredible. You get the two up early payout and we're going to get cooking into baseball and then football's around the corner. Just get in on the fun right now. You're going to love it. BetMGM make it legendary.

[Dan Powers]

What's going on in the world? Would you guys say that? You keep up with news or not really. I feel like I. I do. You do?

[Evan]

Yeah. Too much causing me mental stress.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah.

[Chris]

I don't.

[Dan Powers]

Here's an idea. Have you thought about this? Don't do that,

[Evan]

you know. Yeah, but no, because I feel like I gotta be responsible for understanding the world around me. I can't be an artist without. And I can't be an artist in a vacuum.

[Dan Powers]

Don't let it bother you, dude.

[Evan]

I'm not gonna get into this with you guys right now. But it's very difficult for me. I'm a very empathetic guy.

[Dan Powers]

Hey. I was about to say it is absolutely ironic for me to say that because I am the exact same way. But I have started Doing the.

[Evan]

You gotta put some blinders on.

[Dan Powers]

Well, not so much that, but it's the. Like, when I check out what's going on in the world, and here's some of the topics I have for you guys. I kind of just look up, like, what's the good news in the world today?

[Evan]

Yeah, what's gonna make me feel good?

[Dan Powers]

And then I also don't go down the route. Like, when I see a headline that's like, here's something terrible that's going on with our government, I just go like this. Nope, not for me. Not for me. Because it's brutal.

[Chris]

I don't look at the news ever. Literally. I have no clue. But I will say, Evan, to your point, Lately I have felt insecure at times where we're at a gathering or something, and everyone's like, so, you know, the bombs that got dropped somewhere?

[Evan]

And I'm like, really?

[Chris]

And I just. I'm like, God, I am such a child. So I don't love that.

[Evan]

Just give me my Mac and cheese.

[Chris]

Yeah. Yeah. Literally.

[Evan]

Well, yeah. Look, it's a superpower to have the knowledge and not let it, like, affect you. But I feel like if you don't. I feel like people that absorb it all the time. Like, I imagine working in a newsroom, you would, like, absorb so much that you get numb to it. So you're just like, yeah, whatever. You, like, know about it and you don't care. It's hard to be in that middle when you know about it and you care. You know what I mean? But let's talk about fun things, right?

[Dan Powers]

I agree. So one of my first things that I saw today is this story about Neil, the elephant seal.

[Chris]

Mm.

[Dan Powers]

You know about Neil?

[Chris]

No.

[Dan Powers]

Okay, so Neil is an elephant seal in Australia who weighs, like, over £2,000. And apparently this dude, he's in. In Tasmania, I think. That's a place.

[Chris]

Yeah, sure is.

[Evan]

Yeah. The devil is.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah, this is the devil.

[Dan Powers]

The guy that goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, the Tasmanian Devil. He is this seal that comes up out of the water like, twice a year so he can molt, get rid of his fur and all that. But he is an absolute menace. So this dude has become famous in his little town, and he just pops up and he'll, like, get. He'll go in the street, he'll block traffic. He's been known to belly flop on cars. He eats traffic cones and just, like, is out of control, and people are like, oh, Neil is so funny.

[Evan]

It's awesome.

[Chris]

Is molting season is that A thing. Does he come out at the same time every year?

[Dan Powers]

I think around now is when Neil is said to come out a lot, because. But here's the thing, dude. Neil has 1.5 million followers on TikTok.

[Chris]

He has a TikTok?

[Dan Powers]

Yep.

[Evan]

Damn.

[Dan Powers]

He's got 232,000 followers on ignore. Neil the Seal.

[Chris]

Neil the Seal.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Here he is.

[Evan]

Look at this guy.

[Chris]

Oh, my God. Oh, he does need traffic cones.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah. He just, like, comes in the street, eats traffic cones, blocks traffic.

[Chris]

So I think this is hilarious. But if he fucked my car up, I would be upset. Yeah, but that's why I was asking if there was a schedule, because if

[Dan Powers]

it's mid July, you gotta know not to go.

[Chris]

Yeah. You can't have your car anywhere. Anywhere near where Neil could get to because then. Then it's. Then it is funny again. If it's. If it's your car, it's hilarious.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah.

[Chris]

If it's my car, it's not funny at all.

[Dan Powers]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Evan]

So does the insurance cover that? You gotta wonder.

[Dan Powers]

It's a great call, I would say. I would assume.

[Chris]

No.

[Dan Powers]

Right?

[Evan]

Did they say act of God?

[Chris]

Well, yeah. Act of a God.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, act of a God. Neil being one of them.

[Chris]

Yes, so. But I do like that he. I think he thinks this is funny. That's what I'd like to live. The world I'd like to live in.

[Dan Powers]

Well, it's the question of is Neil funny or is he. Or is he a piece of shit?

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Fuck.

[Dan Powers]

And then here is the bigger thing. I don't want to get too dark with it here. Oh, shit. But are we staring down the barrel of another Harambe situation?

[Evan]

It feels like Neil's staring down the barrel, not we.

[Dan Powers]

Correct.

[Chris]

You're saying he's gonna get popped?

[Dan Powers]

I'm not saying that, Chris. I would never say that. I'm worried that there is a chance. Look at this fucking guy.

[Evan]

Oh, he just broke the wall.

[Dan Powers]

Just broke the fence.

[Evan]

He just. Yeah, he just broke the.

[Dan Powers]

Now here comes Neil. Oh, property damage. Let me just eat this cone.

[Chris]

Why is he doing that?

[Dan Powers]

He's out of his mind.

[Evan]

Is he older? Maybe he just doesn't give a fuck anymore.

[Dan Powers]

I think he is probably. No, I think he's five.

[Chris]

Look at him.

[Evan]

Oh, so they'll fuck you up. Elephant seals are huge. Have you seen him fight each other?

[Dan Powers]

But I gotta be. Look at him. He's just breaking. He's just breaking. Shit, dude. He's out of control.

[Chris]

He actually is very interesting. That he is doing. He's. He's damaging that on purpose.

[Dan Powers]

Yes. That. That is like a barrier next to an ATM that he's just breaking to break it.

[Evan]

He's like, yeah, they built this whole playground for me, right?

[Chris]

Yep.

[Dan Powers]

That was more British, but he's fantastic.

[Evan]

Wait, that's more South African.

[Dan Powers]

That was South African.

[Evan]

God damn. I gotta dial in my Australian. Look at his nose.

[Dan Powers]

Look at him yawning. Now he's got a nose wrinkle. I mean, he's. This guy is.

[Chris]

I think he might be funny now that I'm seeing all this.

[Dan Powers]

Well, what's interesting is, Neil, do you think that the Tasmanian government. City hall, rather.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

Started this Instagram and TikTok account to get brand deals to pay for all the property damage he causes?

[Chris]

Okay, excellent question, because that'd be 40

[Evan]

chess on their part.

[Dan Powers]

I'll tell you what, that's a huge. Whoever started the account, genius, because that's a great brand deal opportunity. If Neil the Seal and you could. You could have Neil the Seal endorse whatever you want if you own that account.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

Do you think it was a random Tasmanian kid?

[Chris]

That's what. That's what I need to know. Is it. Is it just. Does the world know? Do we know who runs the Neil the Seal?

[Dan Powers]

I'm sure it's run by like City hall or something.

[Evan]

The Parks Department.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, it's probably the Parks Department, but that now we've got. Now we're opening the door to so much corruption.

[Evan]

Dude.

[Chris]

This says the social media accounts dedicated to Neil the Seal are run by Jason Howlett.

[Dan Powers]

So it's a guy.

[Chris]

Just a guy.

[Dan Powers]

Dude, do you think he works for the Parks Department?

[Chris]

Let's see.

[Dan Powers]

He better. Because otherwise this is one of the great cash grabs of all time.

[Chris]

Cause, dude, you are a genius.

[Evan]

There's a lot of videos on here.

[Chris]

I know.

[Evan]

I wonder if he's AI ing any of these.

[Chris]

Whoa, that would suck.

[Evan]

Cause like there's so many videos.

[Dan Powers]

Oh, that. Did we just get duped? No way. That would be embarrassing.

[Evan]

No, I mean, I'm sure it's real, but maybe they're making supplemental videos just to like. Yeah, kick out as many as possible.

[Dan Powers]

But listen, listen, I'll be honest. I am worried that one day Neil the Seal is going to do something to the wrong guy and we might have a situation.

[Evan]

Here's the thing about Australia. They don't have as many guns as we do, so they're less equipped than Harambee situation.

[Dan Powers]

It just might be a brute force thing.

[Evan]

They're so used to big animals though. In Australia, in that region. I mean, have you guys ever been to Australia?

[Dan Powers]

I have not.

[Evan]

It's cool.

[Chris]

I went to see Fucking Epic.

[Evan]

Yeah, it's great. The animals are wild.

[Chris]

Look at him.

[Evan]

Fucking cool. Shit.

[Dan Powers]

He's out of control. Also, I'm gonna be honest, if you get whapped by a elephant seal, you're a bitch. You got it. I mean, how fast can they go? I don't think that fast. I just watched him slugging his way across the lawn. How big he is, though. I mean, he is a big boy.

[Chris]

Elephant seals can reach a top speed of 6 mph.

[Dan Powers]

That's what I'm saying. If you're getting killed by an elephant seal, you're asking for, and there are rules, there are mandates that people can only get so close to him because everyone wants to take a picture of Neil.

[Chris]

I guess this says they conserve energy. They can reach a burst speed of 12. Oh, that's in the water. Nevermind. Yeah, six miles an hour. Like, come on.

[Evan]

Yeah. Cause he's flopping around.

[Chris]

It's the walking dead here.

[Dan Powers]

I mean, he's enormous.

[Evan]

Have you interacted with a seal, like on the California coast, like in Morro Bay or anything?

[Dan Powers]

Oh, brother. Absolutely. Absolutely. We've had a couple of seals pop up right in our backyard in Maine.

[Evan]

Oh, that's cool.

[Dan Powers]

And then I love when you go down to the marina, you see them all sunbathing on the sterns of boats.

[Evan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Powers]

And they're just chilling.

[Evan]

This guy's not so cute, but this

[Chris]

guy Jason is rich.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah. Jason.

[Chris]

This is awesome.

[Dan Powers]

Figuring out to get Neil's Instagram account with smart.

[Chris]

Genius, Dan. Yeah, genius.

[Dan Powers]

It's just beautiful stuff. Okay, next topic.

[Evan]

Did you add this, Chris?

[Chris]

Yep.

[Evan]

After we were talking about it, I

[Chris]

just found out about it.

[Dan Powers]

Well, I don't think you found out about it. I think you have it and that's why it popped into your head.

[Chris]

No, Evan just said before you got here, Evan goes.

[Evan]

I said, are you ready for the next Covid outbreak? The next pandemic?

[Dan Powers]

You went like this. I am. It's already here. I have it.

[Evan]

Did you have explosive diarrhea?

[Chris]

No, but I didn't even know that that was a symptom, Chris. How could I have said I have it?

[Dan Powers]

You don't need to pretend like you haven't had diarrhea recently. You've definitely had diarrhea recently.

[Evan]

For a listener, he's wiping his butt.

[Dan Powers]

Thank you.

[Chris]

I've had diarrhea My whole life.

[Evan]

You know what's funny? Every time I talk about this. This cyclopseriasis or whatever, this new bug that's going on.

[Dan Powers]

Cyclopseriasis is what it's called.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

How is psoriasis in the name. When that's. Isn't that like a.

[Evan]

Or maybe it's sporiasis, cyclospasis, cyclospora or whatever.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah. Cycle cyclosporiasis.

[Evan]

Whenever I talk to anybody who's my age, the joke is always, oh, like, how am I gonna tell the difference between my regular diarrhea? So are we all just constantly having diarrhea?

[Chris]

Yeah, because of the food here.

[Evan]

The food is killing us. That's no good. That's a bad sign. Go to anywhere.

[Dan Powers]

I mean, we know that the food here is terrible in certain ways, but at the same time, I feel like you also travel places and you have. There too. Yeah.

[Chris]

Yeah, I guess so. I guess maybe everyone.

[Dan Powers]

I think that it is a common joke. Like, I've seen a bunch of tweets that are like this, bro, I think I've had the diarrhea bug for 10 years, and I didn't know what to do.

[Evan]

Right.

[Chris]

Dude, you know. You know that there's that stat that's like, diarrhea kills more people than heart attacks or dehydration. Yeah. And you're like, what? But now I'm now realizing it's right, because literally everyone on earth has chronic diarrhea. So they're like, what killed them? I don't know. Probably the diarrhea. Every day of his life.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Yeah. God got him. Finally.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Chris]

So how come this one's so bad, Ev? I didn't know anything about it, but it's.

[Dan Powers]

I don't. It's. It's apparently on leafy greens. It's on green onions, raspberries.

[Evan]

Those are the. Yeah. Main ones. It's.

[Dan Powers]

But it's on. I've seen it be. It's on broccoli, mushrooms.

[Evan]

It's like, if you cook your food, though, if you cook your veggies, it'll. It'll cook it out.

[Dan Powers]

But it's like people who are going to buy raspberries from the store and coming home, you give them, like, a little rinse, eat them. Guess what? You have diarrhea.

[Chris]

Do you now have cyclospore?

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have. Psych. You have. You have cyclone diarrhea.

[Evan]

Yeah, it's.

[Dan Powers]

It's.

[Evan]

It's.

[Dan Powers]

We're gonna start calling this cyclone diarrhea, and that's what you have?

[Chris]

Hope that raspberry was good. Hope.

[Dan Powers]

Hope you enjoyed it. Hope you thought you were being healthy.

[Evan]

Any. Honestly, it's a nice excuse to just eat garbage now. I don't want vegetables.

[Dan Powers]

Absolutely. Like if this is the summer of eating fucking burgers and fries because you don't want to have cyclone diarrhea, we're here. Yeah, that's huge.

[Evan]

You just have regular burger diarrhea. Apparently the reason why it's so bad, there's two reasons. One, it's been hotter this summer. And normally this kind of happens every summer because it's bacteria. It gets hot. Yeah. And it grows in a warmer climate. We've been getting hotter, obviously. And then also allegedly they like the government closed down the tracking thing when they did all that Doge stuff.

[Chris]

Oh, nice.

[Evan]

So like it's been harder to track and it's gone way more out of control than it would have in previous years.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, interesting.

[Evan]

Yeah, it's. It's kind of a.

[Dan Powers]

Between Ozempic and cyclone diarrhea, people are gonna be fit as fuck.

[Chris]

Yeah, nice.

[Dan Powers]

Dan, can you imagine if you are on Ozempic and then you also get cyclone diarrhea? You're gonna wither away, you're gonna turn to dust.

[Chris]

I've always wondered this, what happens to the caloric intake of a food if you eat it and then immediately diarrhea. Just get explosive diarrhea. Like you're traveling and you're like, I'm gonna try this thing, this street food. And then you go.

[Evan]

Goes right out of your head.

[Chris]

Did you get any of that or.

[Dan Powers]

I bet some of it, but I bet it's similar to bulimia, right? Yeah, that's what bulimia is.

[Chris]

Bulimia is up this way.

[Evan]

It's when you refund it.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, yeah, but same thing, right? Just coming out a different hole.

[Evan]

Yeah, you get a little bit of it, but then it doesn't absorb as much.

[Chris]

Interesting.

[Dan Powers]

So I bet you don't get a lot. That's like people who. When you. Some people start trying to take protein or stuff like that, they'll take the protein and then just spray paint. Diarrhea immediately.

[Chris]

Zero grams.

[Dan Powers]

They're like, you didn't get a lot of that protein. Just so you know, while you're doing your macros, while you're filling out your. My fitness pal, don't put in all those grams of protein because you Jackson Pollocked that out your butthole pretty quick.

[Chris]

But your toilet got all 20, dude.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, your toilet is jack toilets.

[Chris]

Macros are Living large.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah.

[Evan]

Apparently though, if you do want to get veggies and fruit, if you get frozen fruit or frozen veggies or canned veggies or canned fruit, then it's okay. That's okay.

[Chris]

So it's literally just don't buy fresh stuff.

[Dan Powers]

Here's an idea. Don't be afraid of a little diarrhea. It's nice.

[Chris]

That's why I asked. Good.

[Evan]

You have to get antibiotics to fight it. That's the crazy thing.

[Dan Powers]

Oh, really?

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

So how do we know that when you have cyclone diarrhea, is it like.

[Evan]

Because it lasts for like days or weeks and people that are vulnerable have to go to the hospital because it's like, wow, I can't be shitting for two weeks straight. It's really bad. So you gotta go to the doctor. And the only way they get rid of the parasite is through a antibiotic.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dan Powers]

So it's actually like a parasite in you that's just making you poop your brains out.

[Chris]

I mean, this says.

[Dan Powers]

I'll tell you what, Manny, you want to do a quick cut? There's a little bit of weight.

[Chris]

Yeah, it says. Public health officials find themselves grappling with a seasonal emergency. While armed with fragmented data and hard to pin down source for the outbreaks. It is often difficult to establish the source of food poisoning. Federal officials are looking at supply chains for white and green onions, cucumbers and cilantro.

[Evan]

Meanwhile, cilantro is a big one.

[Chris]

You are told to manage a disease that can cause weeks of unpleasantness with advice you probably first learned before you set foot in kindergarten. Wash your hands. That's good advice, mind you. Cyclo. Cyclodiarrhea spreads when people consume food or drink that's been contaminated with feces. So wash your fruit and veggies carefully too. So you've eaten poop and then it's. And then you.

[Dan Powers]

Cyclone poop makes more pooping everywhere.

[Evan]

Yeah. So be careful out there, everybody.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Hot diarrhea summer Michigan is getting lit up.

[Evan]

It's Michigan and I'm fucking flying to Ohio tomorrow. Dude. I'm going to the center of the cyclone.

[Chris]

Michigan as of the heart of it all.

[Evan]

I'm going to the heart of it.

[Dan Powers]

The heart of it all.

[Chris]

Holy shit.

[Dan Powers]

Is more cyclone diarrhea.

[Evan]

But here's the thing. You rarely am I eating vegetables in Ohio. So fair. It'll be fine. Fair.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Evan]

Well, I.

[Dan Powers]

What's going on, I guess is maybe it's on corn.

[Chris]

2,640 cases already in Michigan, which is really high.

[Dan Powers]

Is this gonna be like.

[Chris]

Remember when.

[Dan Powers]

When covet happened? Every time you felt the tickle of a sore throat, you were like, oh, my God.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

Now this is. Every time you get a little bit of a leaky butt. Leaky butt. And all of a sudden you go cyclone. I know, dude. It's really cyclone warning everybody else. Next thing you know, you're shitting everywhere.

[Chris]

Oh, man. There's 177 in Ohio since June 28th.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Chris]

No, no, since July 2nd.

[Dan Powers]

Oh, my gosh.

[Chris]

So you be careful.

[Dan Powers]

Two weeks.

[Evan]

When I went to Mexico City, I was there for three days. The first day was great. The next two days, I was shitting in the bathroom for two days. And then the next three weeks, I was. I was blowing things up back in la. So I got tummy trucks.

[Dan Powers]

You got fucking whacked there.

[Evan]

I did. I mean, Mexico City.

[Dan Powers]

All right, all right. Let's get back to a little bit of hockey. We've got some fun news going on with the New York Islanders. They're making.

[Chris]

This is. This has got to be one of the coolest things I've seen a team do in the NHL. And you, of all people are going to love this.

[Dan Powers]

I know. I know all about it. I was tweeting all about it all weekend.

[Chris]

I can't believe that the actual third jersey for the Islanders is gonna be made by the people.

[Dan Powers]

It's a very, very cool move.

[Chris]

Cheese.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, he's a dog.

[Chris]

He's always got the ideas. He's always got the ideas. Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

We said immediately to Islanders fans, you are going to be. You're in great hands with Kelly Cheeseman. And now this is just another example of how great this is.

[Chris]

We are going to be making our own, but there is a super easy to use. Maybe we can put the website up on the edit ev.

[Evan]

Yeah, I can do that.

[Chris]

There's a super easy to use website with design tool where you get to pick from so much. I thought it was gonna be like, hey, which of these three bases do you want? Incorrect. There are options coming out your ears.

[Dan Powers]

Yep. I'm messing around with it right now. It's just a very exciting opportunity to get your fingerprints on the Islanders. And it's also. I mean, someone did the math. It's like something like quintillion options. So it's.

[Evan]

They.

[Dan Powers]

They've given you. You have a jersey base that you get to pick from. Then you get to pick different colors and accent colors, and then there are several logos that you get to choose. It's not totally unlimited, but it's just like, it's so fucking fun, dude. Like, it's a very, very groovy situation that we've got here, dude.

[Chris]

It's unreal. And then you have till July 24 to make the jerseys. Okay. And then a team, a committee is gonna review all the submissions, which there's going to be so many, and then narrow it down to five finalists and then that is put online for a public vote in August. So legitimately, five fans are going to make a jersey, gets named finalists, and then the fans are just gonna vote for the coolest Islander jersey. And I'm glad there's the committee's getting it to five because we avoid the like, what would Bodie McBoderson? You know, there's always the ridiculous submissions, but the fans will vote. The winning design literally becomes the official Islanders third jersey.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Which is epic. And that creator, whoever did it gets a team signed third jersey. So they take your jersey that you made, make the real one, and the whole team signs it, which is epic. And you get tickets to the 2728 game to watch it's on Ice debut. David, you.

[Dan Powers]

It's, it's so sick. Again, I, I, I'm like, I'm like I said I'm dabbling with it right now and it is just, it is as fun as it gets.

[Evan]

I want a percentage of all the jersey sales.

[Chris]

Dude, that's actually a good call.

[Evan]

I was like, give me 3%.

[Chris]

I would actually say, dude, less, right? Like I said, yeah, yeah, keep the tickets. I don't need to see it. I'll watch it on tv. But I will take a tiny percentage of the jersey sales because I made this up. And that actually should be your right now that you're saying that.

[Dan Powers]

Alex, I have seen, I mean a bunch of people tweeted and they were being like, hey, this is my, this is my design, this is my that. And there are some just all time ones. I've actually seen a bunch of white base ones that are so sick. And that's usually not necessarily my vibe. But people are just home.

[Evan]

Whites are cool, man.

[Dan Powers]

People are doing a great job, man. They're making unbelievable jerseys.

[Chris]

It's so awesome. I'm pumped. I want to get post up some sick ones. We're gonna get dialed in and maybe we win it, dude. Maybe we win.

[Evan]

That'd be awesome.

[Dan Powers]

That would be awesome. I don't think that we will, we'll see.

[Chris]

Dude, you're great at this stuff.

[Dan Powers]

I don't think I am. I've been messing around with it and I think, you know what's interesting about these is I love the fisherman logo, but the fisherman logos that they've given have a couple accents of like that turquoise blue in the water.

[Chris]

Ye.

[Dan Powers]

Makes it tough. Like, you know, here, a little bit of a teaser. I, I haven't seen many options with a black jersey.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

And I was like, well, black might be.

[Evan]

I was thinking of that too.

[Dan Powers]

And it's tough with the logo options. Like it's a you. It's, it's, it's. I've been very impressed with what people have done. Like they, they've made some cool ass designs.

[Chris]

I'm, I'm fired up.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, me too.

[Chris]

I'm fired up.

[Dan Powers]

It's sick. It's on. Unbelievable. Okay, other bit of cool news is Hit Different Golf. Just quick little plug hick. Different Golf is our new Golf channel. If you guys haven't checked it out, go check out the YouTube, the Instagram, it's everywhere. Hit Different Golf is our new golf program. We were just on an awesome video that launched yesterday. It's on the YouTube. It's called locks on the Links. We made a couple of bets. Playing with Gavin, playing with Bobby. It was just so much fun. We're going to be doing more of it.

[Chris]

Absolutely. There's two more episodes that we were got to be in because Dolan runs the account. Bobby. And then we're shooting another one today actually with Ezra Berg, who's a golf creator who's in town and challenged Dolan to a match. Dan's gonna go, I think you and Bobby, right?

[Dan Powers]

Yep.

[Chris]

And then James, Ezra and James, who we. We've also been on a shoot with. Gonna go toe to toe, but yeah, it's awesome. Go check it out. We're on there. We're gonna be on there more. It's gonna be really fun.

[Dan Powers]

It's gonna be a blast.

[Evan]

And we're gonna cut to a clip right now. Oh, sick of the episode. A little, A little couple minute clip just to tease it. Just so people get a taste and check it out

[Dan Powers]

before you jump in the box.

[Evan]

Let me.

[Chris]

What do we, what do we got? Yeah. All right. I won't need because we can't say

[Dan Powers]

I like no names and fairway. All right, done.

[Evan]

How much are we putting on this?

[Chris]

Let's go another 200.

[Dan Powers]

I go another 200 again.

[Chris]

Me too. Starting right now.

[Dan Powers]

No names, no names. No names.

[Chris]

No names.

[Dan Powers]

No names, no names. Can we do fake names? Sure.

[Chris]

No, that's not Fair. Okay. I don't want any bobbos. And it's on that.

[Dan Powers]

No names.

[Chris]

No names.

[Dan Powers]

Hey, big dog, you're starting par four. Yes. And it's 323, so feel free to hit the driver if you want.

[Evan]

$200 starting now.

[Dan Powers]

No names. No names. No names, no names.

[Chris]

Oh, I can't hit driver. You just said my name, dude. Why did you say snitch?

[Dan Powers]

Are you an idiot?

[Chris]

I think he did, though. Look at his face.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, he did.

[Chris]

Why did you snitch? What did he say? Well, he's. Look at him.

[Dan Powers]

There's no snitch. We're all mic'd up.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah, true. Technically, I didn't say his name, but I called him by his nickname.

[Dan Powers]

We just said. I said. We said no fake names.

[Chris]

I've never seen anyone lose bets quicker than this group.

[Dan Powers]

Wow.

[Chris]

All right, back to four. Hey, can we double or nothing?

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris]

Ooh, I like that. Let's go. Double or nothing.

[Dan Powers]

Don't. You don't have to say. Yes, I'm for it.

[Chris]

Okay, but what are you gonna do

[Dan Powers]

better it you have $00?

[Chris]

Yeah, that's fine. I'll hit the fairway right now and we'll get it back.

[Evan]

All right.

[Dan Powers]

We'll speak.

[Chris]

All right. All right.

[Evan]

Starting.

[Chris]

I swear you just answered my question before the challenge started. Relax. Par four. Just hit the ball, please.

[Dan Powers]

Are we back on the bet?

[Chris]

Yes. You just said his name three times.

[Dan Powers]

This is out of control.

[Chris]

Why is he talking to me? Dude, we were supposed to be quiet.

[Dan Powers]

You need to stop blaming everybody. We have no money.

[Chris]

All we're saying, it's people's names.

[Dan Powers]

Here's the thing. Everyone lock in. The bet's over.

[Chris]

Somehow it's always going to come down. No, no. But if you get a birdie.

[Dan Powers]

If we get a birdie on this

[Chris]

hole, we get 100. Exactly.

[Dan Powers]

I say the name, it's.

[Chris]

He says the name. If we get a birdie in this hole, we get a hole. Hit the ball. Why are you yelling at me? I told you, the hole is right there. I literally cannot believe. I cannot believe you guys are just hammering each other's names. That's the only things you said. Hey, I bet 12 words were said and six of them were named.

[Dan Powers]

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[Chris]

Can you start? I could start.

[Dan Powers]

Okay, start. Fraud watch.

[Chris]

Fraud Watch. I'm putting this thing on Fraud Watch today. I'm not mad at them all the time. I just find myself mad at them too much. And I'm also confused at the way they do things. Why do you do. Why are you the way that you are? That's what I want to say. Okay, I'm putting on Fraud watch drains.

[Evan]

Okay?

[Chris]

Because, dude, why is my drain always clogged?

[Evan]

Dude, you did have diarrhea, didn't you?

[Chris]

Yeah, Right in the shower.

[Dan Powers]

It is so obvious that this man has cyclone diarrhea.

[Chris]

Diarrhea don't clog. You're talking about the shower don't clog nothing.

[Dan Powers]

That's actually true.

[Evan]

Cleans it out.

[Chris]

Yeah, it's like. And the same, you know, and they're like, well, dude, you can't shave your face. And I'm like, okay, I don't. But I'm like, shouldn't that be exactly what you're for? Like, I'm shaving my fucking face.

[Evan]

Yeah. What are you supposed to do with your. With your beard trimmings?

[Chris]

Then they're like, not in the sink unless you want your drain clogged. And I'm like, okay, well, do I get a. Do I. Do I punch the mirror, take a piece of the broken glass and go outside and do it like this? And I think they go, yes, if you're a badass, that's what you do. Yeah. And then same with the shower. And I know it's like, I live with a woman now. I have long hair. Like, I get it. But it's like, why is hair shouldn't shower the number one thing? When they were thinking, like, what might go down this drain, I'd be like, hair, probably because everyone's showering in here. That's how this works. And then here's the thing. I don't know why they are the way that they are. Maybe this is a thing that is needed. And a plumber will tell me, chris, you're an idiot. They have to be like that. But every picture of every drain I've ever seen is like a crazy view back up. And they're like, it's really hard for the water to go back up. And I'm like, like, yeah. Why? Why are they like that? Why does it go like this? Bang. L off to the ocean or whatever. Like, why must it.

[Evan]

There's got to be some reason.

[Dan Powers]

Why must it be. You know what? I. I hate how. Because what I wanted to just say right now was. Plumbers in the chat. Will you tell us why u bends are necessary? But I hate how we can just now go. AI tell me. And I'm going to do that right now as you continue ranting.

[Chris]

And then also, this is. That drain shouldn't take the heat for this, probably, but we have no good options. Like Drano. They're like, buy Drano. And I'm like, okay. And I do. And then it works immediately, 100%. Like the next few days, but then right so quickly again. It's just clogged again.

[Evan]

Yeah. My plumbers told me never to use Draino.

[Chris]

I know. Cause they're like, it's a hole through the drain. I'm like, okay, well, like, what the fuck?

[Dan Powers]

This makes so much sense. Drains have U bends to hold small amounts of water every Time you use the sink or shower, this standing water creates an invisible plug that blocks foul sewer gases, bad smells, and harmful bugs coming up through your drain and into your home.

[Evan]

Okay, that's interesting also, isn't it, for, like, if you drop your wedding ring down there.

[Dan Powers]

Well, I think that's a happy coincidence. Yes, absolutely. Yes, that is. But it does make sense if there was just a straight shot, then the sewer is just coming up into your house.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah. Straight shot. No, no good. No good. No good. So I wonder if there's a way we can revolutionize pipes that it's like. Cause we need to solve the smell and we need to stop the clock.

[Evan]

Well, if you guys are like me, a lot of the places out here were built a while ago, and the pipes are old and they're kind of thin, you know, like, newer. I think newer homes have better pipes.

[Chris]

They just go right through.

[Evan]

Wait. My roommate, a few years ago, before he moved in with me, he had a brief lease at this one place where this woman was like, the pipes. The landlord was this crazy old woman. She was like, the pipes are really old.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Evan]

So you can't flush toilet paper down the toilet.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Evan]

You've got to wipe your ass and then put that shitty toilet paper in a trash can next to your toilet. And he was like, I'm not living here. I'm so sorry. And like, I was like, gary, you're right. That's an insane thing to ask somebody to do, dude.

[Chris]

And that's in other countries too. When I was in Ecuador, that's normal. We were at a gorgeous resort, and they were like, the pipes do not handle toilet paper here. So take all the shit and then just put it right next to you. Horrible. In your hotel room.

[Evan]

Disgusting.

[Chris]

As we all do in our homes. And I was like, no. And we were just flushing it because

[Evan]

I was like, yeah, you're causing horrible plumbing issues.

[Chris]

But, yeah, so maybe that's it. Ev. Maybe it's like a heart artery thing with a stint where I'm like, we need new pipes. Like, new home should be built with pipes that, like, here's the sink drain. And then they immediately go to this wide, and then they move through your house and just make the adjustments.

[Evan]

Maybe the cyclospariasis was a thing that the government put on us so that we clean out those pipes so they don't need to make bigger pipes. So if we give everybody diarrhea, the shit's gonna be smaller.

[Chris]

Yep.

[Dan Powers]

It's so obvious.

[Chris]

So maybe it's more. It's more of a pipe problem than a drain problem. But I'm taking it out on drains. My drain, always.

[Dan Powers]

I do think it's. I. I think what should be on fraud watch is hair.

[Chris]

Hair.

[Evan]

We should all be shaving our bodies.

[Chris]

That can maybe.

[Dan Powers]

But. But it's. It is every time I have blocked hair that has fallen out.

[Chris]

Fallen hair.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah. Fallen hair is on fraud watch because it is. I mean, I have snaked a drain before. I remember snaking a drain.

[Evan]

Horrible.

[Dan Powers]

I'm puked. I know the story in our first apartment in LA because, like, the shower was just straight up flooding.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

And I stuck one of those drain snakes down there and pulled up a rainforest of hair. And keep in mind I had just moved into this apartment, so, like, none of that hair was my hair. And I was like, I'm going to die in this moment, dude.

[Evan]

And it's all black and, like, mucusy and shit. So.

[Chris]

You.

[Evan]

Tub Shroom. There's a product called the Tub Shroom, which is pretty great. It's. No, it's. It's basically like a. It's like this rubber drain plug that goes in there that. It's kind of shaped like a T, but it's cylindrical.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Evan]

Look up the Tub Shroom.

[Dan Powers]

Okay.

[Evan]

It'll help you.

[Dan Powers]

Cool. Evan, do you want to go?

[Evan]

Yeah. Fraud watch.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah.

[Evan]

My fraud is lol. Laughing out loud.

[Chris]

Wait, this typing lol. Literally laughing?

[Evan]

No, not laughing. Laughing's great. We love laughter. Isn't that funny? But no. When was the last time you fucking typed LOL to somebody and you actually LOL'd?

[Dan Powers]

Oh, this is a good Larry David take.

[Evan]

Nobody's LOL ing.

[Chris]

So I have two answers to that one. I type. Sometimes I type LOL. It is almost certainly in all caps and it is a joke. Or I am not laughing out loud at all. But I'll send something to Dan. Like, the Wings have missed playoffs for the seventh year in a row. Lol. You know, because I'm like.

[Evan]

Sarcastic laugh.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not laughing at all. So that's one scenario where I type lol. The other scenario, which I think you'll appreciate. And a couple of my friends will know this because I do it a lot. I send texts to them that say true lol. Like, I type out T R. Uh, there you go. Because I've actually, like, if they send me something and I go, I will go true. Lol.

[Evan]

There you go. That's good.

[Chris]

Cause I just wanted them to know. I really did.

[Evan]

Yeah. I just. It's it's been so overused. Right?

[Dan Powers]

Yeah. I unfortunately do use it sarcastically only. And whenever. If I hit you with a lowercase lol, I'm. I'm saying I'm embarrassed with how much of a idiot you are.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Evan]

Wow.

[Dan Powers]

True. That's what I. When I go lol, it's me rolling my eyes and being like this. You're such a clown. I can't even begin to process this. The amount of times that I want to reply to people on Twitter with with lowercase lol is I'm just like, you're embarrassing.

[Evan]

The thing that makes me curious about this, too, is I think that because we're more isolated, we're watching things on our own, and I was listening to somebody. I forget who it was. Maybe it was Emily Blunt talking about why comedies in movie theaters are so great. Because you're all laughing together, and it's something we're not doing as much anymore. When you're watching a movie at home, how many times are you just sitting there going, like, laughing? You're not. When you're at home, you're just sort of like. You recognize that it's funny, but you actually. I think it would be a better society if we were together actually laughing out loud rather than just typing lol.

[Dan Powers]

That's why the movie theater's the best.

[Evan]

Yeah, dude, Absolutely.

[Dan Powers]

I laugh in a movie theater way more than when I laugh at home, but I do, Evan, it is such a delightful moment when you're at the movie theater and you. Or, excuse me, when you're at home watching a movie alone and you truly laugh out loud. I'm always like, damn, that was hilarious. Like, this is great, great, great moment. Yeah, that's a good one. Mine's a bummer. And it's. It has a caveat of it's not this thing's fault, but my fraud watch is summer.

[Chris]

Oh, my God. I don't like this.

[Dan Powers]

Summer is over, dude. Yeah.

[Chris]

Yeah. Well, summer ends on the 4th of July. We always know that.

[Dan Powers]

And that's why it's on fraud watch. Summer is too short, and it's just such a. It's a disaster. I was just. I was looking at something, and I was looking at the calendar and being like, okay. Like, this is what's going on. And then next thing you know, you blink and it's August, and summer's really over. When August comes around and I've. I was thinking to myself, okay, summer, technically, we always used to think, like, summer starts in June.

[Chris]

June, yeah.

[Dan Powers]

And it Was like, okay, we got June, July and August. And like, then you're kind of back to school. And when you become an adult, I feel like with global warming and so many different things too. Now it's like June. June arrives. And I'm now talking to friends and family who have kids. Kids are in school until like, June 20th.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah, like that.

[Dan Powers]

I don't think that that's true. Dude, Shut the up, Chris. You're a fucking idiot.

[Chris]

You don't know shit.

[Dan Powers]

At least in college I was out by May.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, college you are.

[Dan Powers]

Oh, yeah. You're a rat pig. So kids are in school till like the end of June. Insane. Also, all of these bullshit fucking sports like hockey aren't done until the end of June. And then it's like, okay, now it's July. And again, this is more of an adult problem. But it's like, now there's a billion weddings and there's like, people are going on summer vacations because they have no. Why are you going on vacation in summer? Enjoy summer. It's summer and you blink. Fourth of July is there, it's over. And then August comes and now you're already going back to school shopping. And people are like, it's again, in sports. People are like, oh, it's training camp. It's this, it's that.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

And then that is over. And then it's September. Football, football, football. And then it's September and it's Labor Day weekend. And actually your life is over and summer's just dead.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

So it's like summer again. It's not summer's fault. Summer's not the fraud, but summer has been made fraudulent because it's too short. And I'm like, we need to do a better job as a world of letting summer exist. And I think this is. I'm. Here we go. Classic Dan. We're coming around to this is a US problem. And every fucking employer in the United States needs to go the entire month of August. No one works.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, I agree. I think July and August.

[Dan Powers]

And you know how I know that this would work? We all went through Covid August. Nothing is open, dude.

[Chris]

Yep.

[Dan Powers]

No restaurants are open. No nothing. We are all just not working for an entire month. Go enjoy yourself. Cook at home. Don't go into an office. Everyone still gets paid. We're just taking a fucking month off so people can remember that summer was supposed to be for summer.

[Chris]

Are hotels open so you can travel or you have to stay home?

[Dan Powers]

You have to stay home.

[Evan]

Yeah, because then you're forcing all the hotel workers and restaurant people to work double pay. They get December off.

[Chris]

They get December off.

[Evan]

They get Christmas off.

[Dan Powers]

Any hotel or restaurant that stays open for the month of August, everyone gets paid double.

[Chris]

Yeah, okay. Double pay.

[Evan]

That's a good idea.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Evan]

Well, I know in Europe. I mean, they take longer vacations in Europe, don't they? Like in France, don't they have a crazy amount.

[Chris]

Yes. And, dude, the amount of time off on a given day to day that people in other countries.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Is like. They're like, go home for lunch. See you in three hours.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And I'm like, what? Dude?

[Dan Powers]

And it works perfectly.

[Chris]

Yeah, of course it does.

[Dan Powers]

It's crazy. But summer. Summer is on fraud watch.

[Evan]

Too short.

[Dan Powers]

Because it's. It's way too short, man. Like, I can't believe it's July 15th. And I'm like, summer's already over.

[Evan]

I think we should start summer in May. I think it should be like, May 5th.

[Chris]

Yeah. Cause that's what it is in college.

[Dan Powers]

Yes, I completely agree.

[Evan]

So then you get an extra month, basically.

[Dan Powers]

But again, sports ruins summer.

[Chris]

Yeah, that's the problem.

[Dan Powers]

Fucking nightmare. But it's like, we just gotta. Summer's gone already. Summer is over.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah.

[Evan]

No, dude, come on. I think you got the rest of July. You got 15 days.

[Dan Powers]

No, dude, July 4th happens in the summer is dead. And I'll tell you, as someone with an August birthday, whenever August 1 would hit. When I was younger, I wanted to off myself.

[Chris]

I know, dude.

[Dan Powers]

Because I was like, my birthday meant school was coming back and I was like, so devastated. I actually remember getting to college and the amount of friends that I had in college who were like, I know

[Chris]

exactly what you're saying.

[Dan Powers]

I'm so glad college is back. Cause like, I get to see all my friends and I'm like, so you have a terrible, terrible life.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Dan Powers]

You go home and you have no friends.

[Chris]

Dude, I. So funny, bro. I every may the same story, but so many kids in college with me would be like, I'm so sad the school year's ending. And I was like, what? Dude, I am going home.

[Evan]

Maybe they. Maybe they had abusive families.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Evan]

They might have had a bad home situation.

[Chris]

I get the belt when I go home.

[Evan]

Yeah, exactly.

[Chris]

Okay, well, you should maybe look into some.

[Evan]

Put me in a cage.

[Chris]

There's some extra credits floating around here for you.

[Evan]

Yeah, yeah. Go to summer school.

[Chris]

Yeah. God damn. So I hear you on that big time.

[Dan Powers]

You know the expression youth is wasted on the young? I think about that so often with how easy college must have been.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

Obviously you're just a kid and you're dumb and things you think are important that aren't important. But when, when I think about college, I'm like, I used to wake up and I'd have like two classes in a day and it was from like 9am to noon. And I was like, man, college is crying.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

And I'm like, could you imagine having like the mindset and practices you have now and just going back to college and being like, oh, I'm a. This is the easiest thing in the world.

[Evan]

It's so true. To me, high school is more like actual work life and college is like this little nugget of something else that you don't get back.

[Dan Powers]

Dude.

[Evan]

But like the rest of your life is just high school again.

[Dan Powers]

High school is prison.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Powers]

High school is actually. I mean, dude, I. I've had this exact thought.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

High school was you. You had to get to that motherfucker at like 7:30 in the morning.

[Evan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Powers]

And you would have your first class at 8am and it would literally be like this class, class, class. 45 minute lunch break class. It was like you, you were going from one awful situation to the next. No matter what. Everyone was hawking you, they were giving you attention. If you wore a hat in the hallways, like, high school is actually prison. And then we were freed in college and we went like this. My life is so hard.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

I'm like, it's the easiest it'll ever be.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah. Correct. It will never get better than this.

[Evan]

All right, we'll get some top hits.

[Dan Powers]

All right, Top hits. I'll start. Top hits for me is baldness.

[Chris]

What?

[Dan Powers]

Rapper Pitbull.

[Chris]

Okay, yeah, I'm familiar.

[Dan Powers]

Brought together 22,101 fans wearing bald caps at London's BST Hyde Park Festival, officially breaking the world record for the largest gathering of its kind of bald cap record.

[Chris]

Or. Because if they just stole a bald person record, then I will not stand for it.

[Dan Powers]

It said of its kind, most bald caps in one place, but rapper Pitbull making it cool to be bald. And I think I have seen a lot of people recently shout out sincere's dad on Love island who gotta just go bald.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Dan Powers]

Going bald can be a vibe.

[Evan]

Oh, yeah. My brother does it.

[Chris]

You need the right head shape.

[Evan]

Shaved head.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, you do need the right head shape. But to me, and I know that this is a money thing, so apologies, but with the technology we have in Turkey and with the Hair transplant stuff. You don't even need to go to Turkey. Go to Dr. Leonard in Massachusetts. Yeah, he's great.

[Evan]

Go to John Cena's guy.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Powers]

I don't know. I remember Rob Ninkovich on the New England Patriots did commercials for him and I was like, oh, cool. Dr. Leon Leonard. You gotta go one or the other. Go. If you were balding and you were doing the George Costanza, go get a hair transplant or do whatever Landon Donovan did. Or just bick it.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

And be Pitbull.

[Chris]

And be Pitbull.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

And I think stuff like this is Pitbull raising awareness.

[Chris]

That's great.

[Dan Powers]

And I think that's great.

[Chris]

Okay. You turned that around for me.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah.

[Evan]

I gotta say, I don't love the bald cap aspect. I would be more. Because it feels like stolen valor. I feel. I feel like they should have gotten actual me too.

[Dan Powers]

Well, I'm sure that they tried. I'm sure there were a ton of bald people there. But to me, it's more support. Like if.

[Chris]

Stand with you.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you're not. They're not getting anything for wearing that bald. I suppose they got a goodness world record, but yeah.

[Evan]

Do you remember when Dave Coulier got had cancer and he had to shave his head? And then John Stamos, like, came out and was like. Like in support. He, like, took a picture of him with a bald cap and he was like, I'm gonna support my friend and wear a bald cap. I was like, just shave your head.

[Chris]

But he's like this.

[Dan Powers]

You want me to shave your head?

[Evan]

Yeah. Stamos is like, no, no, no, I don't. No, I'm not doing that.

[Chris]

I can respect it.

[Evan]

I'll put a bald cap on, though.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah.

[Evan]

Like, then don't do the photo.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah. Then don't do it. No one asked you to do this.

[Evan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Powers]

So if there. If there are any. If there are any of the fellas listening right now who you're starting to go bald and you don't want to do the transfer wondering. This is me saying Pitbull has your back and so do I. Oh.

[Evan]

This is me saying. Unless you want to get into comedy, in which case. Absolutely keep the horseshoe because it's way funnier.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Evan]

Like, you look too fucking cool and badass if you shave your head.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Evan]

But if you have, like, the Larry David, the horseshoe, like, it's comedy. Goal.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Evan]

So keep that if you want to be funny.

[Chris]

True. That's actually so true.

[Dan Powers]

Make sure to put on sunscreen. Though.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Evan]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris]

Get torched up there. Yeah, I'm going top hits. I'm going to get made fun of for this, but I will stand my ground. Card tricks. I think I've always been a magic guy. I think I'm sad that the world of the Prestige left us. Like, I wish we still did that.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Now I don't like at all magic shows now that are like such a big production. There's always like the one big one at the end of the magic Castle night. That's in my opinion the worst one by far. Cause I'm like, okay, this is all bullshit.

[Evan]

But you like the up close card guys.

[Chris]

That's amazing. And I think a cool. And I definitely am not also saying like there's the Wonderwall guy playing acoustic the whole party and there's the dude doing card tricks in the corner the whole party. I'm not condoning that either. But I'm saying the. Having a cool. Seeing a cool card trick is awesome. And I had liked a video where some guy was walking around a World cup stadium and did a card trick for these Dutch fans or something and they went apeshit. So I've been. My reels has been feeding me more of stuff like that and now I'm in a loop because I keep liking them. Cause they're sick. But I just think a cool card trick is awesome. And if you are someone who someone came up to you and showed you a cool card trick and you went, I guess that's stupid. Then I'm like, what, bro? Your mind was just blown out of its skull and you're gonna sit here and tell me that's lame and stupid. You're lame and stupid. Card tricks are sick.

[Evan]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Dan Powers]

No, go, please.

[Evan]

I was gonna say, do you have a desire to learn how it works or do you just wanna be mystified?

[Chris]

Oh, receiving it. I just wanna be mystified.

[Evan]

You don't wanna know the secrets of how they did it.

[Chris]

I like card tricks. I don't know that many. I used to know more. I like card tricks. And if you were to. I'm not opposed to someone teaching me one and me learning it. You know, I'm not like, oh, the secret's too sick. I'm like, oh, yeah, okay, I'll learn it. But when someone's doing card trick to me, I'm not only do I not want to know, but also I'm not looking. I'm not like, yeah, you know, I'm

[Evan]

just trying to figure it out.

[Chris]

Yeah, like this Will be sick and I'll be sick.

[Evan]

Take me on the ride.

[Chris]

Exactly.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

I feel that I have never understood the car tricks are lame, people.

[Chris]

It's a cool trick. Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

I think car tricks are lame is a big propaganda by someone who got

[Chris]

tricked by a car trick and they're

[Dan Powers]

embarrassed and they were like this.

[Chris]

You're a nerd.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

And it's like, what?

[Chris]

Okay.

[Dan Powers]

I also. What I think is funny is every time you see a person doing card tricks who's also funny and people go like this. Oh, that's cool. He's kind of like a comedy magician. And I'm like this. Every magician is a comedy magician. I feel like we have been tricked by the David Blains of the world in being like this. Magicians take themselves so seriously. They're all come comedians. You go to the Magic Castle. Every one of them is a comedy show that also has magic. The only two non comedy magicians are David Blaine and Joe Bluth. And it either goes really well or really poorly, I suppose. Criss angel is also in Moon.

[Evan]

David Copperfield. Was he also.

[Dan Powers]

He's definitely a comedian for sure.

[Evan]

Was he funny?

[Dan Powers]

Penn and Teller are hilarious. It is a whole thing.

[Chris]

Criss angel and Blaine obviously did well. Blaine was just doing shit. The human physical limitations.

[Evan]

Yeah. Did you see him on the Netflix show or whatever he did where he was like burning himself?

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, dude. He's done it all. Yeah. Chris angel is what I'm talking about. Where he's like, I'm walking on this water.

[Evan]

I'm gonna hang myself by my nipples.

[Chris]

No, you're not, dude. Like, there's a thing under the. Like, this is so stupid. Where David Blaine's doing card tricks that almost made Harrison Ford kill his.

[Dan Powers]

There's a guy. Yeah, there's a guy on Instagram. I think his name's like Brother K Magic or something. Something. And his, like, he wears a GoPro or like Meta glasses and then does card tricks and he goes into very dangerous scenario, social scenarios. Like he goes to a line outside of a bar with like a bunch of drunk girls where he could get ridiculed.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

But he tries to win them over with his magic.

[Chris]

That's awesome.

[Dan Powers]

And then he gives them his Snapchat advert.

[Chris]

Yeah. Oh, dude, I saw that. Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

Good job.

[Chris]

There's a guy that's. I think it's called Magic by Jason or something. But it's just him at his, like, poker table. Essentially he just does a trick, but he does tricks that fans submit. They're like do this. And he just does it. And dude, this. I've seen a lot of his reels now. He's so good that it feels like AI. Because he just literally, he does whatever you want. And then the thing is, right every time to the point that I'm like, what are you doing?

[Evan]

Is this stage?

[Chris]

Yeah. I'm like, holy fuck, bro. All right.

[Dan Powers]

Card tricks. I like it. EV calls us out.

[Evan]

Top hit. I guess I'll be more generic about this, but just fucking live music, you know, not in bars specifically, but I know Dan hates live music bars. But on Friday, my wife and I got cheap tickets to the Wes Anderson Music night at the Hollywood Bowl. Cause they were doing like three nights and.

[Chris]

Is it all scores from west movies?

[Evan]

Yeah, it's like, scores. Beck was there playing music. His original composer, Mark Mothersbaugh was there and his band played. And like. Like Bill Murray hosted it. And tickets. Tickets were so cheap. They had all this Criterion stuff there. They had like all the Wes Anderson. And it was just like, you could bring your own wine, you could bring

[Dan Powers]

your own, like, food always divide there. It's great.

[Evan]

And like. Yeah, I mean, some concerts, they don't let you do that. Like, if it's a leased concert for, like a major act at the Hollywood bowl, they. They kind of like make you buy the expensive drinks. But, like, the Hollywood bowl specifically is just. I was telling my wife, I was like, if we move away from la, I will. This will be, like, one of the places I miss the most.

[Chris]

Dude, I wish I had gone to. Amazing.

[Evan]

Yeah, it was a great night. But just like, you know, go see live music if you have a chance. Spend a little money. I mean, this was cheap. I probably wouldn't have gone if it was a really expensive ticket. But that's awesome. It's a fucking great night. So if you have a chance to go to an orchestra, go do it because it was a blast, dude.

[Chris]

I like when they do the movies there. They'll be like, we saw Harry Potter once, where the live orchestra is there playing the score.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And this is a similar to the Card Magic by Jason guy. They're so good that you almost forget. Yeah, you're watching the movies.

[Evan]

So precise.

[Chris]

Yeah, I'm like, oh, yeah, they're actually playing.

[Dan Powers]

I once did Mushrooms and went there for John. John Williams. Like, oh, the John Williams. Yeah. And he just. They just played all the music from all those different movies. And also they were playing, like, snippets from the movies.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

And the. I'll tell you what, dude, did you get emotional? Oh, yeah. But the roller coaster of like, you're. The Jurassic park theme is happening. And you're like, this is incredible. And then it goes to Saving Private Ryan and you're like, what the fuck?

[Evan]

I know, dude, we.

[Chris]

We were.

[Evan]

Because, you know, everybody brings lightsabers because they do Star wars, you know. So my wife and I went. Me and Megan. And we had smoked a little grass, so we were a little stoned and we do the Star Wars. Yeah, yeah. Everybody's got the lightsabers. Everybody having fun. And then John Williams goes. And now a piece from Schindler's List.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, I did.

[Evan]

And I leaned over to Megan. I said, get your lightsabers out. And we both cracked up the entire time. And I was so embarrassed. I was like, oh, I feel like an asshole. Cause I'm literally trying to stifle my laugh. Laughs during this really emotional thing from a really fucking important movie and I'm ruining it.

[Dan Powers]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna be selfish and tweak Evan's top hits to scores and composition.

[Evan]

Yeah, that's good.

[Dan Powers]

And now I'm fired up.

[Evan]

Yeah, dude, movies. Movies without the scores fucking suck.

[Dan Powers]

Suck, dude. Except for no country for Old Men. One of the strangest achievements of all time. There's no music in that movie and it's fucking insane.

[Chris]

It's unbelievable.

[Dan Powers]

That fires me up. Okay, let's do a blind ranking. Great idea by Ev. We did blind ranking last week. Best Nickelodeon shows. Today we're doing blind ranking Nickelodeon live action Nickelodeon shows from the 90s.

[Chris]

Little part two.

[Evan]

Yeah, we only did cartoons last time, so now we're doing live action.

[Chris]

And it was really awesome seeing the split between the Ren and Stimpy, Rockos of the world and weirdos. And the comments too.

[Evan]

The gross kids.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was awesome. It was a war.

[Dan Powers]

The amount of gross kids that emerged in my. In. In my, like, text from friends and the comments and dms. I was just like, this year old gross kid. Shout out, shmoopy, schmoopy, gross kid.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

She was like, it's not gross if it's funny. And I was like, it's still gross.

[Chris]

It's disgusting.

[Dan Powers]

It's still disgusting. So we're doing blind ranking live action Nickelodeon shows from the 90s, all that. That is a heavy, interesting one to

[Chris]

come out with because that. I didn't like that show as much as everyone else.

[Dan Powers]

You are an idiot. It is all that is snl.

[Chris]

That's snl, right? The SNL for Kids. Lori Beth Denberg.

[Dan Powers]

Lori Beth Denberg made a feature in Workaholics.

[Evan]

Really? Oh, yeah, she did.

[Chris]

That was the only person. She's always there.

[Dan Powers]

We got Keenan and Kel from that. Amanda Bynes from that. All that was.

[Chris]

There's some gas coming though.

[Dan Powers]

I can only think of one that I think is better. Again, your act. Dude, all that was incredible.

[Chris]

I don't like two. This is not good.

[Dan Powers]

Well, I just can't do three.

[Evan]

I knew this one was gonna cause a problem.

[Chris]

Oh, man. Dude, all that. You SNL bitches.

[Dan Powers]

Dude, it's all that was so good. All that was. Must watch tv.

[Chris]

No, I think it was bad.

[Evan]

I was watching SNL at the age of five, so I didn't like.

[Dan Powers]

Can I ask you a question? Do you always have to suck?

[Chris]

They weren't.

[Dan Powers]

Do you always have to just be a dumb piece of shit? Because this is what I need, I need you to do if you are this dumb and contrarian and shitty. Either lean into it and become like a total weird guy or stop this fraudulent act where people think that you are not normal functioning member of society when we all know that you're not.

[Chris]

I don't know if everyone. I'm excited to see what the comment section thinks of all that. We'll go two. But if. If people come to my defense here, then you are gonna have some splaining to do.

[Dan Powers]

I. And I listen, if everyone in the comments is like, all that sucked, I will be like, shit, okay, I'm way wrong. But I don't think I am.

[Chris]

It didn't suck. You're right about that. All right, let's go to Are you

[Evan]

afraid of the dark?

[Chris]

Oh, what? Scared the brakes off me.

[Dan Powers]

But that was because it was good.

[Chris]

Too scary. Couldn't watch it. Dude, I'm being dead ass with you right now. There was times where I was watching Nickelodeon as a kid and whatever. Like Doug would end at 4:30, 4:30 to 5. And then at 5 o', clock, are youe Afraid of the Dark? Would come on and that theme song would turn on and I had to turn the TV off so fast before this theme song even finished. Otherwise I would piss my pants from fear.

[Evan]

Literally.

[Chris]

I'd be like, oh my God.

[Evan]

I kind of had the same feeling.

[Dan Powers]

Like, literally, Evan, dead ass.

[Chris]

Listen to this, dude.

[Dan Powers]

This happened. And Chris was like, actually get out of. Get me out of the house.

[Chris]

Like, I would piss my pants from fear if that theme song.

[Dan Powers]

He was actually like. It was. I remember that. I remember being young. Younger than you and and like, that would come off and you would.

[Chris]

Quick, quick.

[Dan Powers]

He would either run out of the room if he couldn't get to the remote enough or turn it off.

[Evan]

If you get to the shot of the fucking clown in the attic, you're dead.

[Chris]

It's all over.

[Evan]

That's all. Yeah, you got to get off before

[Chris]

that clown shot that night like you did.

[Dan Powers]

Not like that show.

[Chris]

That is it. That is a hard five.

[Dan Powers]

It is kind of crazy that Nickelodeon had a. Just a straight up horror show.

[Chris]

Why did they do that?

[Dan Powers]

Because it was good to be fucking cool. There were some great episodes, dude. Great episodes.

[Evan]

All right, so what are we ranking?

[Dan Powers]

I like four.

[Evan]

I can't believe you want to put it at five just because it scared you.

[Chris]

Yeah, it scared the shit out of me. Should be one, I guess, for that reason. Okay, let's go.

[Dan Powers]

I mean, no, let's go four. Four. It's not a five actually. Man. Were there any bad. Yeah, there were some bad ones. Nope.

[Chris]

4.

[Dan Powers]

4.

[Evan]

Salute your shorts Tremendous.

[Dan Powers]

I really liked this show.

[Chris]

Tremendous.

[Dan Powers]

Did you know the song Camp Onawana? We hold you in our hearts Then when we think about you it makes us wanna fart.

[Chris]

And then they're like, I hope we

[Evan]

never part now play, Play it right or something.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I can't remember what else.

[Dan Powers]

Salute youe Shorts was awesome. It was just a show about a camp. It was a summer camp.

[Evan]

Ah.

[Dan Powers]

I wonder if we watch Salute youe Shorts now. If it would be just like.

[Evan]

Absolutely.

[Chris]

Meh.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah.

[Evan]

I have bad news for you. I tried to rewatch that.

[Dan Powers]

Is it terrible?

[Evan]

It's pretty bad. It's pretty budget, dude.

[Dan Powers]

Really?

[Evan]

You look at it.

[Dan Powers]

Oh, it's definitely budget. Definitely budget.

[Evan]

But it was, it had good characters, so that's what we like.

[Chris]

I like that show.

[Dan Powers]

Like the idiot with the bucket hat on.

[Evan]

Well, remember Zeke the Plumber? That was scary too.

[Dan Powers]

The plumber, dude.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah. God.

[Dan Powers]

I, I listen, I could go five here.

[Chris]

I. Oh, no, I want to go three.

[Dan Powers]

Sure.

[Chris]

But because we can't go one, we

[Dan Powers]

have to go five. Yeah, we have to.

[Chris]

What do you mean, dude? There.

[Dan Powers]

I'm telling you, if we put Salute your shorts at three and then like a couple. I can think of four right off the top of my head that are so good.

[Chris]

So. Are you afraid of the dark? Should have been fucking five. No.

[Dan Powers]

Are you afraid of the dark? Is good. Just because it scared you. Because you're a little bitch.

[Evan]

I want to make sure you guys know there are no game shows I. On here. That's a whole separate category. Okay, that is. Oh, this is live action narrative shows.

[Dan Powers]

Okay, then I'll go three. That was a huge. That's a good.

[Chris]

Okay, next week we're doing game show.

[Evan]

Next week we're gonna do game shows. Cuz there's more than five of those

[Dan Powers]

I've been waiting for. Game shows.

[Evan]

Yeah. Sorry, dude. Live action narrative.

[Chris]

Okay, then. Then I will. I. I think we go three. I think.

[Dan Powers]

Okay. Three. Salute your shorts. I mean, I like solutions.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah. Three.

[Evan]

All right. Adventures of Pete and Pete. Pete.

[Chris]

I could go five. I didn't like the show because there's one coming, so. Or there's. I think there's a few coming so bad.

[Dan Powers]

I'm gonna go five. Listen, Pete and Pete was cool, but I did not like Pete.

[Chris]

Was that your favorite show, Evan?

[Evan]

No, no, no, it's not. It's. I'm really curious to know what you guys think is a great Nickelodeon live action show.

[Chris]

What was it good? What was it?

[Dan Powers]

It was called all that.

[Chris]

What was the premise of Pete and Pete?

[Dan Powers]

Pete and Pete is a delightfully quirky show that looks at the lives and adventures of two redheaded people, brothers with the same name.

[Evan]

Do you remember it? Remember the one younger brother had a. He had a tattoo of like a hot lady on his arm called Petunia.

[Dan Powers]

You know what? I'm gonna be honest. I think we're wrong. I think Pete and Pete might have

[Chris]

been incredible, but I think it was just. I didn't get.

[Evan]

Was very surreal and like quirky.

[Chris]

I was loving Salute your shorts.

[Dan Powers]

Danny Tambourine Tamborelli, I think. Yeah, he was in. He was in Mighty Ducks too.

[Chris]

Oh, okay.

[Dan Powers]

He's the. His sister's the sick figure skater. He was a figure skater as well?

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Dan Powers]

He was a Nickelodeon Ledge. He was also in Good Burger.

[Chris]

I think. Five, dude.

[Dan Powers]

Okay, five. We just have one left.

[Chris]

Yep.

[Dan Powers]

Okay.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Evan]

Your number one's Clarissa explains it all.

[Chris]

I actually love that show.

[Dan Powers]

Me too.

[Chris]

I actually love that show. I actually loved that show and it wasn't what I thought was gonna be one, but that is a tremendous one. I'm. And I like that way more than all that.

[Dan Powers]

I mean, it was Joan Hart.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Dan Powers]

Like Clarissa Explains it All was.

[Chris]

That's the one that's. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah. She's incredible because she was Sabrina too, right? Wasn't she the teenage witch?

[Dan Powers]

Yes. Yes.

[Evan]

Was she?

[Chris]

I thought so.

[Evan]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And she's like TGI Friday. Dude. Clarissa was.

[Evan]

Wasn't there some dude that used to, like. She sure come into her window with a ladder, dude.

[Chris]

That's what I was just trying to remember.

[Evan]

It was kind of.

[Dan Powers]

Dude, Clarissa explains it all was like an OG Break the fourth wall show. It was like.

[Chris]

That show's awesome.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, I like that show. I think Pete and Pete was way better, though.

[Chris]

Well, not for me. Like, it probably was. And if we rewatch, I'm like, pete and Pete's good.

[Dan Powers]

I mean, Clarissa explains it all had, like, aliens in it.

[Evan]

What about was that? What. What was the show that you were expecting?

[Chris]

I actually am not even positive now that I'm saying it. This was a Nickelodeon show, but I. And I remember quite literally nothing about it except loving it. Hey, dude.

[Evan]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Powers]

Hey, dude. Yeah, it was a dude ranch.

[Evan]

Yeah, I was gonna put hey, dude on, but I thought, hey, dude. And slit your shorts were, like, too similar.

[Dan Powers]

They were. They were very, very similar. It was like Black Sheep and Tommy boy.

[Evan]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember Alex Mack, the one where she could turn into fucking liquid silver? She was like T1000.

[Chris]

I forgot about that. That show was great.

[Dan Powers]

I think we probably butchered this. I think people. Pete and Pete should have. No, I think all that should have been one.

[Chris]

No, Clarissa, I'm thrilled.

[Dan Powers]

I'll be honest. If. Dude, your distaste for all that is, like, very strange.

[Chris]

Very strange versus one.

[Dan Powers]

And I will say this. If I had known game shows weren't in it, I would have lobbied heavy for all that to be won.

[Chris]

I just don't think I wanted to.

[Evan]

Game shows are coming up next.

[Chris]

I wanted more narrative.

[Dan Powers]

Yeah, but you're dumb, dude. Like, we got the Amanda show because of all that. We got Good Burger because of all that.

[Evan]

Also the reason why Kenan is, like, the longest tenured SNL cast.

[Chris]

He's all. Because he was on all.

[Evan]

Yeah, dude. He's been doing it his whole life.

[Chris]

God, Laurie, Beth got screwed.

[Dan Powers]

All right, not our best, but that was a good walk down memory lane. All right, that's gonna do it for this episode. Amazing stuff. We love you guys. You're the best. Go check out the new merch. Emptyknighters shop. Unbelievable hoodies on there. Subscribe to the YouTube follow on all the socials. Send us around to all your friends. Friends, have an amazing weekend. We'll see you at Fanatics Fest if you are there. And if you're not, don't worry. You're going to see all the content coming out. Until we see you next time.

[Chris]

Skate hard.