Podcast Summary: English POD - "How Not to Take Things Personally"

Release Date: January 19, 2021
Host: English POD
Episode Title: How Not to Take Things Personally

Introduction

In the season two premiere of English POD, hosts and guests delve into strategies for not taking things personally, inspired by a motivational video. The episode focuses on understanding personal reactions, managing emotions, and maintaining self-worth in various aspects of life.

General Impressions of the Video

Host (00:00):
Introduces the episode's theme and the linked video on not taking things personally. Emphasizes the relevance of this topic, especially amidst academic pressures in Saudi Arabia.

Yousef Jisani (01:31):

"He talks a lot about how not to take things personally and offers strategies to achieve that."

Mohammed Al Gharhi (02:18):

"If you take things personally in your life, you will face a lot of problems and lose many relationships. He chose this perfect topic for practicing not taking things personally."

Hussain (03:16):

"Not taking things personally is extremely useful as it helps in many situations, like interviews and daily interactions."

Hassan (04:14):
Shares personal experience of benefiting from the video's strategies, particularly the "heads and tails" coin analogy used to manage personal feelings.

Why Choose a Referee as an Example?

The discussion shifts to why the video uses a referee to illustrate not taking things personally.

Yousef Jisani (07:11):

"He wants to train his brain not to take things personally."

Mohammed Al Gharhi (08:08):

"Being a referee is perfect training because you constantly face criticism from players and spectators. You need to overcome it to continue in this role."

Hussain (09:00):
Highlights the immense pressure referees face and questions how they manage their emotions, referencing referee Nishimura as an example of handling difficult situations.

Hassan (10:28):
Explains that referees must confront anger from multiple parties and develop strategies to remain impartial and resilient.

"He became conscious that he would be insulted and prepared strategies to handle it effectively."

Understanding "It's Not About Me" vs. "It's About Me"

A significant portion of the episode explores the dichotomy between perceiving actions as personal affronts versus objective interactions.

Yousef Jisani (14:01):

"The speaker uses a coin with two sides to illustrate 'It's not about me' and 'It's about me.'"

Mohammed Al Gharhi (15:05):

"'It's not about me' means you don't take things personally and don't let others' negative words affect you.
'It's about me' means you do take things personally and feel offended."

Hussain (18:12):

"These two statements represent strategies. 'It's not about me' helps you avoid unnecessary emotional turmoil, while 'It's about me' allows you to acknowledge and correct genuine mistakes."

Hassan (19:33):
Elaborates on these strategies with examples:

"When someone honks at you, it's not necessarily your fault; they might be in a hurry.
Admitting 'It's about me' when you make a mistake helps in personal growth."

Strategies to Not Take Things Personally

The hosts discuss practical methods presented in the video to avoid taking things personally.

Hassan (20:56):
Details the two main strategies:

1. It's Not About Me:

   • Consider others' intentions.
   • Example: A driver honking might be in a hurry, not targeting you personally.

2. It's About Me:

   • Acknowledge and rectify your own mistakes.
   • Focus on self-improvement rather than others' opinions.

Host (28:30):
Summarizes the strategies, highlighting the balance between external perceptions and internal self-assessment.

The Importance of Maintaining Self-Value

The conversation shifts to the concept of "keeping your value" as discussed in the video.

Yousef Jisani (24:40):

"Always value yourself, speak up, and be patient."

Mohammed Al Gharhi (25:37):

"Don't insult yourself or feel inferior because of others' opinions."

Hussain (26:47):

"Stay confident in your work and decisions despite others' negative remarks."

Hassan (27:36):

"Don't underestimate yourself. The value of your work remains, regardless of others' criticisms."

Host (28:30):

"Keep your value means recognizing the worth of your efforts and not letting external negativity diminish your self-esteem."

Understanding Ego

A deeper dive into the meaning of "ego" as presented in the video.

Yousef Jisani (30:55):

"Ego means selfish."

Hassan (35:51):

"Ego can have both positive and negative connotations.
Positive: Taking care of oneself and making personal decisions.
Negative: Feeling like the center of the world and prioritizing oneself over others."

Host (34:13):

"In the video, ego is portrayed negatively, implying an overemphasis on oneself leading to taking things personally."

Hassan (33:38):

"Ego refers to the self and can be interpreted differently based on context. It's about balancing self-care with humility."

Conclusion and Takeaways

The episode wraps up with key insights and student reflections on the discussed topics.

Hassan (43:58):

"Don't underestimate yourself and maintain your self-worth despite external judgments."

Overall Insights:

• Strategies: Utilize "It's not about me" to deflect unnecessary personal offense and "It's about me" to acknowledge and improve genuine faults.
• Self-Value: Continuously recognize and uphold your own value irrespective of others' negative feedback.
• Ego Management: Understand the dual nature of ego—leveraging it for self-improvement while mitigating its potential to foster selfishness.

Host (44:50):

"Thank you to everyone who participated and shared their thoughts. We look forward to the next episode."

Notable Quotes

• Hassan (04:14):

  "The video is really discussing something really important in our life, you know, which is helpful to our health especially psychologically speaking."

• Mohammed Al Gharhi (08:08):

  "You have to get over it and forget it forever. So I think that is the reason why."

• Host (12:48):

  "Being a referee should require a lot of patience, which aligns perfectly with the speaker's message on not taking things personally."

• Hassan (21:42):

  "The central idea is that it's not about others’ opinions about me. I have to think based on my decisions, my experience, goals, and plans."

Final Thoughts

This episode of English POD offers profound insights into managing personal emotions and maintaining self-worth. By analyzing the role of a referee and dissecting strategies like "It's not about me" and "It's about me," listeners gain practical tools for personal and professional growth. Additionally, the exploration of ego provides a nuanced understanding of self-perception and its impact on interactions.

For more engaging discussions and English practice, tune into the next episode of English POD.