Escape Pod 1026: "What Any Dead Thing Wants" (Part 1 of 3)

Podcast: Escape Pod – The Original Science Fiction Podcast
Date: January 1, 2026
Host: Tina Connolly
Author: Amy Ogden
Narrator: Isaac Harwood

Overview

The first part of Amy Ogden’s "What Any Dead Thing Wants" introduces listeners to a team of planetary exorcists sent to cleanse a newly terraformed world of lingering ghosts—both exomicrobial and exomegafaunal. Amidst the routine (and not-so-routine) supernatural clean-up, the crew, led by Hob, is thrown for a loop when a very human ghost appears. Part 1 deftly blends science fiction, fantasy, workplace comedy, and existential undertones as it sets up a mystery that will run through the rest of the story.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting: Planetary Exorcisms & Terraforming

• The planetary exorcism is depicted as a laborious, highly technical, and deeply bureaucratic affair.
  • "The third week of a planetary exorcism is the hardest, at least if the planet in question has megafauna to deal with." (02:19, Hob’s POV)
• Terraforming isn’t perfect; incantations have left parts of the planet feeling artificial and repetitive, something only Hob feels compelled to tweak.

2. Character Introductions

• Hob: The team captain, dealing with bureaucratic expectations, stubborn ghostly lifeforms, and his own weariness.
• Team Members: Maisli, Yetall, Jaara, Rathorna—conveyed through their banter, quirks, and dinner-table chaos.
• Ozzie: The unexpected human ghost, whose presence contradicts all established protocols and throws the crew into anxiety.

3. The Cabbage-Faced Megafauna (“CFMs”)

• Recurring ghostly megafauna (nicknamed “cabbage-faced motherfuckers”) pose significant exorcism challenges.

• The CFM is portrayed humorously and grotesquely, and Hob’s efforts to banish one become a focal point of part one.

  "Cabbage-faced motherfucker is somewhat euphemistic, though nothing about them even vaguely suggests what humans would think of as a face. The globular organs, appended at irregular intervals along their fat toroid bodies, do, however, write cabbage in bold font." (06:47)

4. Crew Dynamics & Workplace Humor

• Mealtime arguments, duty rosters, and low-key insubordination flavor the team's interactions.

• Hob serves as both exorcist and exasperated office manager; Jaara is his process-obsessed second-in-command.

  "It's Yettle's turn. Hob shouts, tossing his helmet ahead of him into the locker room. It's on the goddamn duty roster, Jetts. Does it have to go down like this? Every single rotation?" (13:59)

5. The Unexpected Human Ghost (“Ozzie”)

• Ozzie’s arrival is a shock, delivered with humor and confusion:

  "Hi, says the stranger apologetically. Sorry for showing up uninvited. Embarrassed under the sudden flood of attention, he goes to nudge the spoon sitting in the portion of meal mix in front of him, but his hand passes straight through. But I think I'm dead." (16:40)

• The protocols do not account for the exorcism of humans. Hob is both alarmed and pressured by HQ to “continue with exorcism as planned.”

6. Bureaucracy & the Company

• The Company’s response to the unprecedented human ghost is dismissive and highly procedural ("Continue with exorcism as planned."), amplifying both the existential absurdity and the tension.

7. Exorcism Methodology & Worldbuilding

• Exorcising exolife involves emotional activation—ghosts must reach acceptance.

  “Acceptance is the only way to permanently clear a haunt.” (10:55)

• Hob attempts both creative and perfunctory illusions to trick/trigger the ghosts, an approach colored by his growing cynicism and exhaustion with the work.

8. Hob and Ozzie: Banter and Moral Quandaries

• Ozzie’s presence triggers both logistical headaches and philosophical questions for Hob.

• Their exchanges are by turns awkward, philosophical, and dryly funny.

  "If you're reading to relax, I don't think it's working." – Ozzie (20:46)

  "I'm not reading to relax, okay?" – Hob (20:50)

  "I'm not happier about the situation than you are. Probably less, but. But I wasn't trying to get you killed." – Ozzie (29:35)

9. Failed Exorcism Attempt & Physical Comedy

• Hob’s attempt to “feed” the CFM ghost with an illusion ends with him being attacked and falling out of a tree, highlighting the physical danger and dark humor of the work.

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

[02:19] — On planetary exorcism:

"The third week of a planetary exorcism is the hardest, at least if the planet in question has megafauna to deal with."
— Hob (Narration)

[06:47] — On cabbagy alien ghosts:

"The globular organs, appended at irregular intervals along their fat toroid bodies, do, however, write cabbage in bold font."
— Hob (Narration)

[13:59] — On crew dynamics:

"It's Yettle's turn. Hob shouts, tossing his helmet ahead of him into the locker room. It's on the goddamn duty roster, Jetts. Does it have to go down like this? Every single rotation?"
— Hob

[16:40] — Ozzie’s arrival:

"But I think I'm dead."
— Ozzie

[20:46] — Ghostly advice:

"If you're reading to relax, I don't think it's working."
— Ozzie

[24:10] — Bureaucratic callousness:

"Unauthorized entry is a forfeiture of legal standing in system. Continue with exorcism as planned."
— Company HQ

[29:35] — Post-exorcism attempt:

"I'm not happier about the situation than you are. Probably less, but. But I wasn't trying to get you killed."
— Ozzie

Host’s Reflections & Literary Insights

([32:37] onward—Tina Connolly’s commentary)

• Tina highlights the ingenuity of the setting, calling the phrase “planetary exorcism” immediately immersive and unique.

• She relates the terraforming rubber-stamp aesthetic to her own experience in Animal Crossing, noting how Hob’s minor act of chaotic creation sets him apart from the company’s cookie-cutter approach.

• Notes the story’s subtle writing: Exposition about exorcisms is embedded in charged interactions, avoiding the “As you know, Bob” cliché.

• The failed exorcism attempt is likely the first in a classic tri-fail sequence—a nod to good story structure and rising tension.

  "I love what Amy does here. The reader needs to learn how exorcisms work, so we have Hob explaining some of the details to Ozzie, but this is totally the opposite of as-you-know-Bob, because all the explanations are fraught with deeper meaning and subtext."
  — Tina Connolly ([32:37])

Important Timestamps

• 00:40 – Host introduction, author background
• 02:19 – Story begins, establishing setting and work routines
• 13:59 – Crew mess scene and interpersonal tensions
• 16:40 – Ozzie (the human ghost) introduced
• 24:10 – Company’s bureaucratic dismissal of the situation
• 29:35 – Exorcism attempt with the CFM, ensuing comic disaster
• 32:37 – Host’s literary analysis and closing thoughts

Tone & Language

Wry, sardonic, and dryly humorous throughout; characters banter and gripe in ways familiar to any workplace, with a science-fantasy spin. Dialogue and narration are laced with workplace fatigue, professional pride, and hints of existential dread, all lightened by sharp comic timing.

Summary

Part 1 of "What Any Dead Thing Wants" establishes a fascinatingly practical approach to the fantastical, following a world-weary exorcist crew in the aftermath of terraformation. With its sharp wit, distinctive world-building, and deft handling of existential themes, this first installment sets the stage for deeper mysteries and unexpected bonds—human and otherwise—in the episodes to follow. The appearance of Ozzie, a dead man with no apparent reason for being on the planet, raises stakes and ethical questions for Hob and his team, promising a compelling continuation.