Escaping the Drift - The Weekly Drop: Harnessing the Power of Adversity - Escaping the Drift with John Gafford

Summary

Podcast Summary: Escaping the Drift - The Weekly Drop: Harnessing the Power of Adversity

Episode Release Date: November 22, 2024
Host: John Gafford

In the latest episode of "Escaping the Drift," titled "Harnessing the Power of Adversity," host John Gafford delves deep into the intricate relationship between failure and success. This episode serves as a beacon for listeners navigating the tumultuous waters of setbacks, offering actionable strategies to transform adversity into a stepping stone for remarkable achievement.

Introduction to Failure and Success

John Gafford opens the episode with candid reflections on his own experiences with failure. He emphasizes that failure is an inevitable part of the journey toward accomplishment, stating, “If you don't fail, you probably aren't accomplishing very much either” (00:28). This honest admission sets the tone for a transparent and introspective discussion on overcoming setbacks.

Embracing Failure as a Catalyst for Growth

Gafford discusses the emotional toll that failure can take, especially when personal passion and creativity are involved. He shares, “For me, an artist that paints a painting and then people think it sucks, right? It's almost how it feels because I take it so personally” (02:15). This sentiment underscores the personal investment and vulnerability that comes with pursuing one’s ideas and dreams.

The "Trunk or Tank" Analogy

A pivotal moment in the episode is the introduction of Mikey Sea Rock’s "trunk or tank" analogy. Gafford explains, “It's either the trunk or the tank. When something happens, you either put it in the trunk or the tank” (03:30). In this metaphor, the trunk represents baggage that weighs one down, while the tank symbolizes the fuel that drives progress. This simple yet profound analogy provides a framework for listeners to categorize their responses to adversity—either as burdens or as sources of strength.

John’s Process for Handling Failure

Gafford outlines his personal methodology for dealing with setbacks, emphasizing the importance of a structured approach:

Allowing the Pain to Settle:
“I'm gonna let it sting me for a couple of days. Because me, when I first take that loss or something bad happens, I gotta let it sting me for a couple of days” (04:30). He insists on giving himself time to process the emotional impact before moving forward.
Documenting the Failure:
Gafford highlights the importance of maintaining a "failure journal." He writes down detailed accounts of each setback, including the nature of the failure, the financial and emotional losses, and potential reasons for the outcome. “I write out exactly what the concept was... how it made me feel” (05:15). This practice helps in analyzing failures objectively and extracting valuable lessons.
Identifying Lessons and Avoiding Repetition:
After documenting, Gafford asks himself critical questions: “What could I have done better? What am I going to learn that I won't repeat?” (06:00). This step is crucial for personal growth, ensuring that past mistakes inform future actions.

Real-Life Examples of Failure and Learning

To illustrate his process, Gafford shares several personal anecdotes:

Failed Business Venture:
“I didn't hire enough people to make it work. I depended on myself to make all these outbound sales calls” (05:50). This experience taught him the importance of not overrelying on oneself and the necessity of building a robust team.
Casting Experience:
Gafford recounts an unsuccessful audition for a television show, where he mismatched the character description. “I thought there's been a mistake... they wanted me to read for this other thing” (06:30). This incident reinforced the lesson of not assuming intentions and the importance of adaptability.

The Role of Stoicism and Mentorship

Drawing inspiration from stoic philosophy and influential books, Gafford emphasizes the significance of finding lessons within failures. He references Ryan Holiday's "The Obstacle is the Way," stating, “It is the basis of stoicism. It's what Brian Holiday writes about” (07:10). This philosophical approach encourages resilience and the proactive use of challenges as opportunities for growth.

Additionally, Gafford underscores the value of mentorship and having a support system. “You need a mentor. You need somebody that... just want you to listen to me purge this out” (08:00). Having someone to talk through failures without judgment or unsolicited advice can be instrumental in processing and moving beyond setbacks.

Maintaining Reminders of Failure as Lessons Learned

In a unique twist, Gafford shares how he keeps physical reminders of his failures in his office. Examples include a $100,000 bottle of vitamins symbolizing a failed multilevel marketing venture and a script from an unreleased television show. “These are lessons that I've Learned. I have a script from a television show... that script is a permanent reminder” (09:15). These tangible artifacts serve as constant prompts to stay vigilant and apply the lessons learned from past mistakes.

Key Takeaways and Concluding Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, Gafford reiterates the core message: transformation of failure into a driving force for success. He advises against dwelling on failures or attributing them to external factors, highlighting personal accountability. “Don’t hang your hat on outside forces as why you failed, because that makes you a victim” (13:45). Instead, he encourages listeners to take control and leverage their failures to fuel future endeavors.

Gafford concludes with an empowering analogy from "Die Hard," emphasizing self-reliance: “No one is coming to save you, so save yourself” (14:00). This call to action inspires listeners to take ownership of their journeys, using adversity as a catalyst to escape the drift and achieve excellence.

Notable Quotes from the Episode

On Failure and Accomplishment:
“If you don't fail, you probably aren't accomplishing very much either.” (00:28)
On Personal Investment in Ideas:
“For me, an artist that paints a painting and then people think it sucks... I take it so personally.” (02:15)
Trunk or Tank Analogy:
“It's either the trunk or the tank. When something happens, you either put it in the trunk or the tank.” (03:30)
Allowing Emotional Processing:
“I'm gonna let it sting me for a couple of days.” (04:30)
On Mentorship:
“You need a mentor. You need somebody that... just want you to listen to me purge this out.” (08:00)
Personal Accountability:
“Don’t hang your hat on outside forces as why you failed, because that makes you a victim.” (13:45)
Self-Reliance:
“No one is coming to save you, so save yourself.” (14:00)

Final Thoughts

John Gafford's "Harnessing the Power of Adversity" offers a comprehensive and relatable exploration of how to navigate and utilize failure effectively. By sharing his personal experiences, methods, and the wisdom gleaned from influential literature, Gafford provides listeners with a robust framework to transform setbacks into opportunities for growth and success. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to break free from stagnation and harness their true potential.

For more insights and to join the community, visit EscapingtheDrift.com.

Transcript

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$35 connection charge applies from the podcast that gets you from where you are to where you want to be. Escaping the Drift this is the Weekly Drop with John Gafford. No matter what platform you're watching or listening to us on, make sure you like, subscribe and comment. And now the Drop. Ah, welcome back everybody. I'm John Gafford and welcome to your Weekly Drop. And I gotta tell you man, I have failed. I mean, absolutely. Crash and burn. Miserably failed. And as the saying goes, if you don't fail, you probably aren't accomplishing very much either. And in life, the ball will get rolling, right? Sometimes you can just do no wrong. Confidence is strong. One success leads to the next. But if you're somebody like me that has a lot of balls in the air, and business in relationships and ideas and concepts and things you want to do, you're going to miss way more than you connect with. And I win a lot. But man, I fail a lot. And sometimes those failures come really close together and start to compile on them a little bit. And so when that happens for me, a couple of things that I know. Number one, I've probably drifted too far away from my process of how I deal with failure. So today in this podcast, I want to explain to you exactly what my process is for dealing with these things. But I also go back and revisit some books that I love. Obviously, Ryan Holiday's the Obstacle is the Way my good friend Ari Rastagar his book the Gift of Failure. Pick it up on Amazon. Great book. But all of these little things to remind me of how to deal with these things. And when failure comes, dude, for me it can be gut wrenching because I have sometimes ideas that I fall in love with. And I'm the first one to say I fall madly in love with my own ideas. And when they don't come to fruition or they fail. It's almost like, for me, an artist that paints a painting and then people think it sucks, right? It's almost how it feels because I take it so personally, because so much of what I attempt to do, it is very personal to me, as I'm sure it is to you. And if you don't properly deal with those losses as they come up, then it's going to be a real problem. And it's funny. Coming out next week, on Tuesday. Listen to this. I had Mikey Sea Rock, who's a good friend, who I had him on the podcast. His episode comes out next Tuesday. And just talking about. He wrote a book called Rocket Fuel, how to Turn Failure Into Success. And it was the best analogy I'd ever heard for something he adopted at a very early age. He said it's either the trunk or the tank. When something happens, you either put it in the trunk or the tank. And what he meant by that was, if you put something in the trunk, if you think about that metaphor, it's like, heavy. The back of the car, the vehicle goes. Sags down. Because it's towing all of this stuff. It's carrying all of this stuff. But the tank, man, that's what makes the thing go. So he says, whenever adversity jumps up and bites him or he fails, he looks at it and goes, am I going to use this? Where's this going? It's two choices. There's no more than two choices. That's it. It's going to the trunk, what's going in the tank. And I wanted to kind of show you and tell you how I turn things from. Instead of putting them in the trunk, and I put them in the tank. The first thing is this. I'm gonna tell a story. My daughter had a situation where something that she loves and she works very, very hard at is not necessarily going her way right now. And, you know, my first reaction to that as a father is, well, make yourself undeniable. Like, if you're undeniable, then you can't get bumped out of the spot that you're trying to earn. That's my first. Like, earn it everything. Earn nothing. Given thought process. But then you start thinking sometimes some of this stuff is a little bit outside your control. And my wife wanted me to talk to her right away about it, because my wife is very much super high eq, very. You know, she's an empath, very empathetic. Wanted to try to help Baby Bear right away. And I said, and my daughter is very much like me. Her.