From Social Anxiety to Sales Authority with Brian Galke

Summary

Escaping the Drift with John Gafford

Episode: From Social Anxiety to Sales Authority with Brian Galke

Date: December 16, 2025
Guest: Brian Galke
Host: John Gafford

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Episode Overview

In this engaging episode of "Escaping the Drift," John Gafford sits down with Brian Galke, a master in face reading, body language, and advanced communication. The conversation explores Brian's personal journey from social anxiety to sales authority, his unique science-backed methods for decoding facial features, and practical ways anyone can boost their social and relational intelligence. Whether you're looking to improve your sales skills, better connect with others, or empower the next generation, this episode is packed with actionable advice and candid storytelling.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Power and Origins of Face Reading

• Brian’s Introduction to Face Reading
  Brian recounts his initial skepticism and eventual fascination with face reading after attending a dinner with a practitioner.

  “I was going to prove that this guy was a fraud… but when he got to me, I was like, this guy’s been digging through my trash. Like, it was that spot on.” (Brian, 05:35)

• Science & History
  • Face reading, or physiognomy, dates back to Aristotle.
  • 43 facial muscles change over time according to repetitive thoughts and expressions.

2. Practical Face Reading: Tips and Examples

(Begins ~07:44)

• Eyebrows
  • Height: High = needs more decision time. Low = quick decision-makers.

    “Anything more than a finger’s width above your eye is a high eyebrow… If you have low eyebrows, the longer I talk, the more I lose you. Because you want to get straight to the point.” (Brian, 08:18)

  • Shape:
    • Straight = wants facts, data, directness.
    • Angled = “what’s your angle?”, needs to understand before helping others.
    • Rounded = thinks about others first.
• Real Estate Applications:
  • Salespeople can tailor their approach on first impression by reading eyebrows.
• Photos and Authenticity:
  • Filtered/old photos on LinkedIn and dating apps cause distrust; update photos annually.

    “If you show up as a different person than your first headshot… immediately we distrust you.” (Brian, 10:40)

3. Love Languages, Learning Styles & Other Facial Features

(Begins ~17:49)

• Upper Eyelids: Full = values time/attention; “we” people, collaborative.
• Philtrum (area between nose and lip): Wide = kinesthetic, hands-on learners (“physical touch” love language).
• Line below Lip: Horizontal line = needs sincere, specific verbal affirmation.
• Eyes, Ears, and Learning:
  • Large eyes = visual learner.
  • Large ears = auditory learner.
  • Use corresponding language for best communication.

4. Live Face-Reading Demonstration

(Begins ~22:30)

• Brian reads John’s and his wife’s faces, interpreting traits such as kinesthetic learning, affirmation needs, and how personalized these features can be.
• Live application underscores the accuracy and practicality of face-reading in strengthening personal and professional relationships.

5. Soft Skills: The New Superpower

(Begins ~47:18)

• Emotional Intelligence in the Modern World:
  • Soft skills (emotional intelligence, communication) will be most in-demand future skills.
  • Emotional intelligence increases win rates, retention, peer relationships, and productivity.

    “If you learn soft skills, 28% higher win rate in sales, 55% peer to peer relationships improve, 63%... stay with you, [and] 88% boost in productivity.” (Brian, 48:01)

  • AI can't replace genuine connection; elevate communication from text/email to voice/face-to-face.

6. Body Language for Building Likeability

(Begins ~51:34)

• Entering a Room:
  • Raise eyebrows, tilt head, and smile to signal openness (from "The Like Switch").

    “When we walk into a room, raise your eyebrows up, tilt your head and smile. Why do you tilt your head? Because you're saying, ‘I'm showing my carotid artery. I don't feel threatened in the room.’” (Brian, 52:09)

  • Shoulders back = confidence; avoid slouching.
  • Open body language increases approachability.
  • Use “Tony Stark light” visualization trick to project confidence (where chest would beam to where the wall meets the ceiling).
• Mirroring:
  • We lean toward what—and who—we like.
  • Watch for subtle mirroring (e.g., others sipping water after you).

7. Masculinity, Mental Health, and Social Connection

(Begins ~30:37, revisited ~32:50)

• Discussion about modern masculine crisis, young men's struggles, and the epidemic of loneliness and lack of real-life connection.

  “As men, we should be able to celebrate wins… when you have hard times it’s hard to talk to anybody… I’d rather sit and talk with you for, you know, multiple hours than sitting through 15 minutes of your eulogy.” (Brian, 33:44)

• Importance of actively intervening, supporting each other, and developing self-awareness.

8. Authenticity in an Artificial Age

(Begins ~41:20)

• iPhone videos and unscripted, real content outperform “perfect” studio productions.
• Share your struggles and imperfections to foster genuine connection and help combat social issues like depression caused by comparison.

  “We miss authenticity with everything… we see them living their best life… but what’s their real life like?” (Brian, 07:30/41:34)

9. Bonus Tips: Sales, Communication, and Technology

• Always tailor communications to include auditory, visual, and kinesthetic cues.

• Use technology (AI, GBTs) to assist less skilled communicators in adjusting language.

• Don't wait for permission—invest in yourself, seek opportunities, and get in the room.

  “No one is coming to save you. You’ve got to go save yourself. Sometimes you gotta take chances.” (John, 58:37)

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On Personal Growth and Experimentation:

  “The golden rule is treat people the way we want to be treated… really, it’s the platinum rule: treat people the way THEY want to be treated. Their face tells you how.” (Brian, 17:49)

• On Career & Life Choices:

  “I sold my soul for $50,000 one time. I went from a job I loved to a job I hated, eight hours a day… over money.” (Brian, 45:03)

• On Supporting Men and Mental Health:

  “When you lose somebody… we don’t realize that men need other men for a lot of things.” (Brian, 34:47)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:30 – Why authenticity wins on social media; the problem with filtered lives
• 03:08 – Introducing Brian Galke and his connection with the late Steve Sims
• 04:47 – Brian’s fluke introduction to face reading
• 07:44 – How to read eyebrows and apply it in real life
• 17:49 – Face reading and the love languages/learning styles
• 22:30 – Live face reading demonstration on John and his wife
• 31:10 – The crisis facing young men: Connecting stats to mission
• 33:26 – Male bonding, vulnerability, and the loss of Steve Sims
• 41:20 – Why imperfections are magic: Social media and authenticity
• 47:18 – Emotional intelligence as the top future skill
• 51:34 – How to walk into a room and be liked; body language tips
• 56:13 – How to know if people like you; practical mirroring cues
• 58:05 – Hustle stories: Don’t wait for someone to train you
• 64:12 – Using auditory/visual/kinesthetic language in marketing and sales

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Final Takeaways

• Self-Mastery: Improving your communication, empathy, and ability to “read” others is a learnable superpower in both business and life.
• Authenticity: In an age of filtered perfection, realness matters more than ever.
• Soft Skills = Success: Emotional intelligence, adaptability, and connection will only become more valuable as technology accelerates.
• Agency: Don’t wait for opportunities—seek them, create them, and invest in your growth.

Connect with Brian Galke

• Website: Decodetheface.com
• Socials: @subtleskills
• Cheat Sheet: getthecheatsheet.com

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“No one is coming to save you. You’ve got to go save yourself.” (John, 58:37)

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For more, visit escapingthedrift.com or check out the full episode on YouTube.

Transcript

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[Brian Galke]

Well that's why right now, what videos are doing the best on all social media? Ones that are done with iPhones?

[John Gafford]

Yeah, Straight versus walking. Walking, talking.

[Brian Galke]

Walking. Talking versus perfect studios with a perfect camera with edited this and that. Because we miss authenticity with everything. Yeah, we, we log on to people's social media, we see them living their best life, which it's like anything else that may be five minutes of their day. That's their best life. But what's their real life like? I like to ask my Uber drivers when I'm driving around, like, tell me some of your craziest stories.

[John Gafford]

I was gonna say, yeah, don'. Let me tell you about my crypto scheme that's gonna take over the world. And now, escaping the Drift, the show designed to get you from where you are to where you wanna be. I'm John Gafford, and I have a knack for getting extraordinary achievers to drop their secrets to help you on a path to greatness. So stop drifting along, Escape the Drift. And it's time to start right now, back again, back again for another episode of like it says in the opening man, the podcast that gets you from where you are to where you wanna be. And today I got a banger for you. And this is why, like we get inundated all the time with people that want to be on the podcast that are reaching out to us. I want to be on the podcast. I want to be on podcast. I mean, it's literally like 10 people a day. And don't get me wrong, if you want to be on the podcast and you got a cool story, I want you to come at me. I want you. Because that's how we find good guests, which is great, but this is a dude that I actually reached out to him, right? Like, I love when I get the people that I am. It's like I'm, I'm curating this just for you and I'm hand picking these guests Just for you, because I really believe what they're doing. So first thing I'm going to say is if you haven't watched this on YouTube, you need to go over to YouTube, please, like, and subscribe. And here's why. Because what we're talking about today is going to be somewhat visual. So, yes, it's still going to work on the podcast, but I think really you might want to check this out on YouTube as well. So go over to the two other YouTube channel escaping the Drift over there and check us out there. But this is going to be awesome. So this dude is an expert at something which I think is very useful, which is he knows how to decode others just by looking at their facial features. Like, he can read everything he needs to know about you by looking at your damn face, which I think is incredible. He is a master at understanding and deciphering body language. He is an expert at active listening. And this is a guy that can teach you how to communicate on levels that you just don't understand. So if you ever feel like you can't get through to people, or more to the point, you're not connecting with people today, this is your podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the program. This is Brian Galke.

[Brian Galke]

Thank you for having me, dude.

[John Gafford]

Thank you for coming, man. Yeah, I'm so excited you're here. As you probably tell. I'm like gonna burst out of my chair.

[Brian Galke]

Oh, this is great.

[John Gafford]

Because this is great. Because I love that you're here. And first of all, I want to talk about this before we get into that because you and I have a very great connection and we live and breathe for something that's the same way and that is keeping the dear memory. And it's so cool because I'll let him say what you said. What did you say?

[Brian Galke]

I said Steve Sims changed my life. And so every chance we get to be on any podcast, we can talk about Steve and keep his legacy alive is something I love because he absolutely changed my life for me. He gave me my very first ever official speaking gig where I came on and I was a speaker. Like, Janine Driver gave me my first, like 15 minutes of fame. And that was. She gave up 15 minutes of her 60 minute talk to let me get on stage. But Steve was the first one to officially bring me on as a speaker for an event. And then he was my coach who became my mentor, who became my friend.

[John Gafford]

Yeah, I just, I can't say enough about Steve as well. Like we just said, I miss him dearly. I'VE got his initials, along with a lot of other good friends of mine that have passed away hanging around my neck.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

And he wrote the Ford's, my new book, which I'm so grateful for that, you know, for. For Claire and the kids that he could do that. And something's getting published, literally tomorrow. Yeah. That Steve wrote. And so anything I can do to keep his legacy alive. I totally agree. So if you don't know who Steve Sims is, please go look him up. Read his book. Buy his book Blue Fishing. Buy his other book. Go for stupid. The guy was one of my favorite people ever to be on this earth. It was a tragedy when he was taken from us, so. Absolutely, it was a tragedy. All right, so let's get to talking about how you got into this man. So how do you get into reading people's faces?

[Brian Galke]

Fluke circumstances. A friend came in from out of town. She said, let's go to dinner. I show up the restaurant, she calls to cancel, and I'm like, great, here we go. She's like, no, you got to come meet this guy. Said, why should I come meet this guy? She goes, he reads faces. And I go, I've never heard of that crap. It can't be real. I'm not coming over there. And she's like, will you please come over? I'm in from out of town, you know, Come on. But I went. But I hadn't went with a plan. And that was. I was going to prove that this guy was a fraud because I'd never heard of it. I'm an introvert by nature. So what introverts do? We pick up books to understand people, right? So I've got all kinds of body language books, you name it. Statement analysis, networking. I'd never heard of face reading before. And so I get over there, and I'm like, I'm going to prove that this guy is going to use, you know, kind of like mentalism things. Generic statements that apply to everyone. You've had a hard time in life or, you know, you know somebody who's named name starts with pick any letter.

[John Gafford]

I do, yeah. He's like, it's crazy. I do know somebody.

[Brian Galke]

And so I was trying to wait to catch this guy. So I went in, you know, guns blazing. I was gonna blow holes in this guy. And when he got there, he just had such a demeaning, like, presence about him. I'm like, or sorry. Not demeaning. He just kind of brought you in. I was like, wow, okay. He just seems like a really nice Guy. But I still. He ruined my night, so I still don't like him. And so he set us all down at dinner, and he went person by person. He started decoding their facial features. And I'm like, okay, I'm gonna wait and see if he says, like, if somebody has different eyebrows, is he gonna say the same thing or not? You know? Or is he just saying things that people are gonna go, yeah. Huh? And so I watched him. I was trying to catch the guy, trying to catch him, and I couldn't. And I'm like, dang it. Then he got to me, and we did to me. I was like, this guy's been digging through my trash. Like, it's kind of.

[John Gafford]

It was that spot on.

[Brian Galke]

Yes. And what I learned is it all goes all the way back to the Greeks. Aristotle wrote the first book on it. It's not a science. It's a study called physiognomy. And it's the 43 muscles in the face. The mind creates movement, movement creates muscle. And so they've been studying over time how those muscles, by expanding or contracting, will alter our facial features. And so it's been studied. It was thrown out by Henry vii. He said, I don't like the idea that beggars and vagabonds can use this against their fellow man. And he yanked it out. And part of the reason for that is something known as phrenology. So phrenology is bumps on the head determine who you are as a person. Well, the bumps on the head, that. First off, it's not there. But that's a permanent feature. But we're constantly changing as people. So what happens is you have a thought and you make a face. Well, over time, your face will adjust based on those repetitive movements that you.

[John Gafford]

Have, which is why some people look angry all the time.

[Brian Galke]

Yes. Rbf. Yes. It applies to men and women. But it's funny. Like, I show in my presentations or with customers and clients. Me is at 18, I used to have straight eyebrows, and now you can see I have angled eyebrows. Well, I didn't go have those done. It's. I started having different thoughts and when learning things, and so your face changes along with it. So our faces are constantly changing from the minute we're born to the minute we pass. And that's why when we go to, like, an open casket funeral, we don't recognize the person in the box because all the muscle tension is gone. Yeah.

[John Gafford]

They're just, like, complete.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

All right, well, let's start getting into it. So if I'M listening to this. I want to. Okay, teach me something. So let's, let's start. Let's start at the top. And is this how it works? You start at the top and work your way down?

[Brian Galke]

I absolutely do, yeah.

[John Gafford]

So let's start top.

[Brian Galke]

Like, if we're doing training, if I'm going in with customers or coaching people, then I start with eyebrows because eyebrows lead to eye contact and it's a lost start, this day and age. But even with just this much real estate, you can learn so much about people. So eyebrow height tells you how long somebody needs to make a decision. So if people who have higher eyebrows, it's because they're going like this a lot and thinking, then eventually their eyebrow height will change. And so when people do that a lot, you can look at people and go, okay, this person needs a little more time before they pull the trigger. Has nothing to do with intelligence.

[John Gafford]

We're talking about millimeters. Are we talking about, I mean, what's.

[Brian Galke]

Like, it can literally just anything that's more than a finger's width above your eye is considered a high eyebrow. Anything below that's considered low.

[John Gafford]

Okay.

[Brian Galke]

So when you look at someone like you have low eyebrows.

[John Gafford]

Okay, I have low eyebrows.

[Brian Galke]

And so if you meet people and they have high eyebrows. I know. Okay, let's say I have 30 minutes with you, then we're probably going to be talking for 25 to 30 minutes completely. Fine. If somebody like you has low eyebrows, the longer I talk, the more I lose you. Because you want to get straight to the point. Right. You might get there fast. So when you look at someone, you can look at their eyebrow height and go, okay, do they make decisions fast or slow? And that is a very simple thing. So probably the most interesting industry that we teach us to is door to door sales. So those people have seven seconds before somebody slams the door shut, pulls a gun or calls the cops.

[John Gafford]

Yeah.

[Brian Galke]

And when somebody answers the door, they maybe all three.

[John Gafford]

Yeah.

[Brian Galke]

And when they answer, they stick their head out. If that, they don't open the full door. So body language is important. And I think I can recommend numerous books I put. Any book that's ever helped me, I put on my website because it should be able to help everybody else. But body language can't help you if you can't see it. And so that's what I really loved about this skill is you have this much real estate, if you're on a zoom call, you go look up somebody on LinkedIn ahead of time. Or even if you just Meet someone. Just this real estate alone can teach you so much about them.

[John Gafford]

Well, you can't really go on LinkedIn because I'm in the real estate business. And if you've ever seen a headshot of a Realtor, it's either from 1987 or it's been so heavily I felt you can't even see what's going on.

[Brian Galke]

You're right. I start on LinkedIn and I go to social media because why people post real time pictures now. They still put filters on there, but if somebody else tags them.

[John Gafford]

Okay, real quick, are you, Are you married guy?

[Brian Galke]

I was, yes.

[John Gafford]

Okay, you are dating somebody.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

Okay, you're telling me your spouse puts non filtered photographs on Instagram?

[Brian Galke]

Their friends tag them in it.

[John Gafford]

Okay, so that's what they have no control. Okay, you're looking for tagged photo.

[Brian Galke]

Okay, I'm looking for tag.

[John Gafford]

Because they're not filtering now.

[Brian Galke]

Right.

[John Gafford]

Because you know, they want to look as good as they can.

[Brian Galke]

Exactly.

[John Gafford]

It's like you want to look skinny, hang out with 10 fat people. That's how you do it.

[Brian Galke]

When you have group pictures or you have, you know, friends doing selfies, then they don't always filter it. But you can always tell when somebody's filtered because you look in like, I just did a post about this. It was like Freddy Krueger, normal life. And then him with the filter and it was all like having a perfect face. But yeah. So you go and you find a realistic picture of him. So you start on LinkedIn. And the reason that I start on LinkedIn, like you said, is how long ago was the headshot? Which, by the way, people should be getting headshots updated at least once a year, twice a year, because of how much our face can change. And if you show up as a different person than people first expect you to look like, immediately we distrust you. Like, well, wait a minute. Why? Why are you different from the person I met? So people should update their photos as often as they can. But start on link.

[John Gafford]

Hear that? Online daters. That's for you.

[Brian Galke]

Oh, 100.

[John Gafford]

Good Lord.

[Brian Galke]

Okay, so why would you even go?

[John Gafford]

Why would you. I don't understand that. Apparently. Look, I'm blessed that I've been married long enough that I escaped the swipe left, swipe right. I never had to do that.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

But I cannot even imagine going to a place to meet someone.

[Brian Galke]

Yes.

[John Gafford]

And knowing damn well that I look very little to nothing like who they think I look like.

[Brian Galke]

And it's it. They do it in different ways. So I. I'VE never been on a single dating app either. I've just met people out in the wild and. But I have a dating course called Looking for Love and all the Wrong Faces dot com. And it's all about.

[John Gafford]

About this. Yes. Okay, we'll get to that.

[Brian Galke]

That's.

[John Gafford]

That's super interesting. We'll get to that. That's. That's good.

[Brian Galke]

I have buddies who to, like you said, both guys and girls who'll go out on a date and either the person is five to 10 years older than their picture or 20 to 50 pounds heavier than the picture they sent.

[John Gafford]

Yeah.

[Brian Galke]

And immediately you're like, wait a minute. If I can't trust you to, to be who you are online, you show up completely different. What did you think was going to happen?

[John Gafford]

You don't care. That was a review system like Amazon.

[Brian Galke]

Oh, yeah, that's a good point.

[John Gafford]

If literally on, like Tinder, they scout where you could review people think about that. You wouldn't be able to go. People would be kinder to each other.

[Brian Galke]

Oh, yes, that's reviews on. I have a friend who as soon as she meets somebody, she FaceTimes with them. She's like, before we meet, I want to FaceTime with you. And the reason why, she wants to see if there's a connection. But are they also the person in the picture?

[John Gafford]

But even now on Zoom, they have all the filters. Oh, yeah.

[Brian Galke]

You could go, oh, it's so crazy because you can say, fix my appearance, but you still know, age related. Are they, you know, 50 pounds heavier or lighter?

[John Gafford]

You can see if they're maybe calling from a trailer. You can see these things.

[Brian Galke]

You can see the background. Never thought about the trailer part. Yeah.

[John Gafford]

Hey, I'm not. Nothing wrong with you trailer people. That's right. You know it. But let's face it, you're probably not going to be a good date.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

Anyway.

[Brian Galke]

Yes. So it's just, it's funny because we immediately distrust somebody who presents himself differently than they show up in real life. But going back to what we're talking about, what you can go. And even if you meet people just like we walked in, you and I have never met in person until today.

[John Gafford]

No.

[Brian Galke]

But immediately I can look and say, okay, based on your eyebrow shape, here's how to present the information. So you want to talk about a little.

[John Gafford]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give the good, bad and ugly.

[Brian Galke]

Because this way people watching can see it too. And not just on here.

[John Gafford]

Or know, at least know how to deal with me in the future, which would be probably helpful. For everybody.

[Brian Galke]

One of the things you have right in this area here is called a brow ridge. So brow ridge people are process driven people. Step one, step two, step three, step four. Go and look at people before and after, like military or airline pilots and things that can actually grow in over time. If you want to see an extreme example, you can go and google German soldier before and after.

[John Gafford]

Oh yeah, that's why Wild.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah. And you see this whole area has, has grown in. So again, that's just muscle that's here.

[John Gafford]

So when you say brow ridge, you mean there's like a line. Your eyebrows kind of bulge out a little.

[Brian Galke]

So if you were to turn to the side, there's a thick area that you have here that like I don't have. That's called a brow ridge. And so when you're looking at somebody who has a brow ridge, I know they're a process driven person. So I need to list out all the steps are involved in what we're about to do because that's how they understand step one, step two, step three, step four. Now one of the things that you have that's kind of interesting is even though I can make out the shape of your eyebrows, you have two different eyebrows. So on this side of your face, where wedding ring goes like that is the personal side of your face. The opposite is the professional side. Now on the personal side of your face, it's more of like a rounded eyebrow. So you think about other people first, yourself second. But at work it's more of an angled eyebrow. And that is what's your angle? Help you understand it, then you can help other people. So when people say I'm a different person at home than I am at work, you're a good example of that. Literally by what's written on your face.

[John Gafford]

Just because the eyebrows.

[Brian Galke]

Yes, just because eyebrows. So like I showed the picture earlier or I'll have to show it to you later. There's a picture of me at 18. I had straight eyebrows and then over time I got angled eyebrows. Well, what happened is I became a corporate trainer. I had to learn the material so then I could help teach it to other people. And over time that became angled. So when you see somebody with angled eyebrows, it's what's their angle? Help them understand it, then they figure out how to help other people. But if you see people with rounded eyebrows, they think about everyone else first and themselves second. So because of what a lot of your audience is real estate. Right. If you're showing someone a house, you can their eyebrows Will tell you how to talk to them. So if they have straight eyebrows, get straight to the point. Facts, figures, data. And we've been influenced by television and movies our entire life. In addition, books are where we started, but then television, movies. So what does Spock have? Spock has straight eyebrows. They draw that on that character. And what does he care about? Logic. So if you see straight eyebrows, then think, get straight to the point. Facts, figures, data. Are you looking for a 3? 3, a 2, 2. What are you looking for? Square footage, interest rate. They like the numbers side of things. If you see somebody who has an angled eyebrow, it's. What's their angle? What's the most important thing for them? With a house, if they have rounded eyebrows, they think about the people around them. What are the spare bedrooms for? Are you going to entertain here? You know, wait till your friends see you in your new house. So when you look at someone, it's learning to speak their language, and people go, oh, this is manipulation. No, it's a sign of respect. Because I'm thinking, I know how I want to present information, but I'm focused on how would you best receive the information.

[John Gafford]

Yeah, that's. That's one of my. You know, we just walked by my office, and it's funny because I love when everybody in their office has, like, trophies of, like, their greatness. Like, they're. You know, I got this award and I got that. Mine is kind of filled with lessons of failure and, like, one of my favorite ones about assuming, you know, what people want and how to give them information. Isn't. There's. I have a script in there on my desk. We just walked right by it because I bought a. I literally. I dropped a shadow box and had to buy a new shadow box for it. So had the new shadow box, but it's still sitting on my desk. And what it is, it's a script from David Flabot, who wrote Will and Grace and a bunch of other NBC sitcoms. And when I was on the Apprentice, he saw me.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

And was like, I got a call. They want you to come read for this new pilot.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

And I was like, what? Like, yeah, I want you to start on his new pilot called Goodies or whatever.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

And so they FedEx me the script, and I open it up and I look at it, and it says on the second page, it says, in walks Goody. That's the role they want to read for. And it was like, mid-30s, kind of doughy, boyish, charm arm, but by no means man candy. And I was like, what? At the time, I was like, in pretty good shape. And I was like, this is how the world sees. This is terrible, right? And then, like, several pages later, it said, enter his cousin Pete. Think loud, Obnoxious thinks Vince Vaughn from Swingers. Back then before we both look like chewed bubblegum. I got compared to Vince a lot back then. And so I was like, oh, they made a mistake. So I go to New York, and I go to this casting director's office, and I walk in, and there's a camera guy there, and there's the casting director. And I walk in, I'm like, excuse me, Hi, my name's John Gaffer. She's like, oh, hi, welcome. How are you? And I'm like, I believe there's been a mistake. They're like, what? I go, yeah, you said you wanted me to read for this, but I think what you meant was this. And I'll never forget the look on her face. She just goes, you read for whatever you want. And I was like, no. I instantly knew I screwed up. And then later, I found out from my buddy who was actually an actor in Hollywood, he's like, no, dude, that doesn't matter. Like, those placeholders don't mean anything. It's just what he wrote when he was writing the pilot. And you went in there and, like, served up the urgent were a problem day one. And I was like, so I have that as a reminder to never assume that I know what people want. And thank God that show never got made. Can you imagine having to sit at home and watch that every week? Like the next sign? No, no, no. It's terrible. But anyway, so yes, understanding what people want and how to give them the information. I agree with you. Is an absolute sign of respect.

[Brian Galke]

So we're raised with a golden rule, which is treat people the way we want to be treated. And what we learned over time is really, it's the platinum rule. It's treat people the way they want to be treated, and their face tells you how they want to be treated. There's all kinds of things. Like, you can see three of the five love languages on someone's face. So fuller eyelids are time and attention. This area here, which you have a wide one, is kinesthetic hands on learners. And then if they have so why so.

[John Gafford]

So, okay, go back. You just jumped over this. So let's start with the eye one first. Let's go to the eyes.

[Brian Galke]

So the fuller. The lid is what they've studied over time is those are time and attention People. So they are people who like to do things with other people. So when we see, like Bambi, eyelids is what the term for it is. And of course, Bambi is something that's adopted later. Not when they first start doing this, but they recognize that people with fuller ey like to do things with other people doing the versus doing things alone.

[John Gafford]

So when you say fullerized.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah, like fuller lids here. So when. When you can see hooded lids A little bit. Yes. Like hooded.

[John Gafford]

They get hooded.

[Brian Galke]

Yes.

[John Gafford]

Okay.

[Brian Galke]

So the more lid you see, the more they think in terms of we is an easy way to remember it.

[John Gafford]

But don't all eyelids get hooded as you get older?

[Brian Galke]

No. So if you look at people, like, there's people who don't have hardly any eyelids. So that's the funniest thing is people think, well, what about if you're from this certain gender or you're this part of the world? Is it that different?

[John Gafford]

No.

[Brian Galke]

But if you're ever worried about it and offending someone, then you just skip it and move to another feature. But what they've studied over time is when you can see a lot more upper eyelid when somebody's talking, then those are time and attention people. People who don't have a lot of eyelid are completely fine doing things by themselves. If other people join them, it's a bonus, not a requirement.

[John Gafford]

So that's like you're talking about the people that maybe their eyes are a little slanty where you can actually see how much eyelid people who are wide open like this that we're talking about.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah. So if they're. So if you look like bam is the term that always comes to mind.

[John Gafford]

Yeah. Big doe eyes.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah, Big doe eyes. Yes. So but they also have very full lids. And so when you see the very full lids, those are time and attention people. Then the next one that is one of the five love languages is the wider this area is. So below the nose, above the lip, the wider this area is.

[John Gafford]

Okay.

[Brian Galke]

Those are kinesthetic hands on people. Well, so what is that physical touch. So if you see a wide area on somebody here who's kinesthetic learner, then you use action words when you're talking to them. So, hey, let's go take a walk. Let's see how this is going. Let's get moving on this project. And that's one that. So if you meet people like that, like, you can do the handshake, you can do to Hubble a double handshake. Some people want to be patted on the Shoulder. So everyone's face kind of tells you how to talk to them. And then the third one that is from the five Love languages is below the lip and above the chin. If they have a horizontal line right here, that's called the affirmation line. So sincere verbal compliments go a long way for people that are that way. So when I meet someone, I can look and say, okay, they've got fuller lids. I'm going to use a lot of we statements because that's the way that they think. If they have a line here, and let's say that they cooked me dinner, it's not hey, thank you for dinner, it's hey, the chicken today was amazing. The more specific compliment, the happier. Makes the person here. Yeah. A little line right here. So a horizontal line for those who.

[John Gafford]

Are listening, left and right underneath the bottom lip.

[Brian Galke]

Yes. Below the lip and above the chin. That horizontal line. If you see that on anyone, that's somebody who thrives on sincere verbal compliments.

[John Gafford]

Specific, specific, specific, yes.

[Brian Galke]

So not generic. Thanks. But the more specific the compliment, the happier they are.

[John Gafford]

Okay.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah. And that's just the beginning. So there's over 150 different features on that. You can look at somebody's face. But some of the very basic ones are, let's go. How do people learn? If they have larger eyes, they're more visual. If they have larger ears, they're more auditory. If they have the wide area here, then they're hands on, kinesthetic learner. So when you're looking and talking to somebody, like I'm extremely visual, I will say, oh, I see where you're coming from. I get the picture.

[John Gafford]

So wait, wait. Yeah, you lost me. So on ears, somebody has bigger ears, they're more auditory.

[Brian Galke]

Yes.

[John Gafford]

So muscles in your face are making your ear grows faster.

[Brian Galke]

They can change. Everything in the face can change. Like ears can go forward and backwards. I can show you the picture of me when we're done with this. As a kid, my ears stuck out more and then they went back closer. Like my nickname when I was a kid was ears.

[John Gafford]

Yeah.

[Brian Galke]

And over time they went back. So our, the muscles are constantly pulling on things. So if you ever go and look up like muscles under the skin, it's crazy. There's 43 muscles in the face. The mind creates movement, movement creates muscle. And people go, that's B.S. that's not true. Through. Okay. If you've ever seen somebody have a stroke, what happens? They have a stroke over here, this side of their face goes limp. They have a Stroke over here. This side of their face goes limp. It's the brain that are flexing these muscles in our faces all the time. That's why you can take identical twins raised in the same household, same genetic code, but they had different life experiences and so they'll have different facial features. Ah, yeah.

[John Gafford]

Yeah. That's super interesting.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah. So like, people bring up twins, you name it. And the big thing, whenever I'm out at an event, people go, you're just cold reading a person. I'll go, okay, find me somebody on your phone that's not here. And I'll tell you what we can see on their face too. And that's where the proof is in the pudding, because there are people who are trying to say things. There you go. You can show me.

[John Gafford]

Yeah, no, well, no, we're good. So we're going to. I mean, why not? Let's pull up my life. Why not?

[Brian Galke]

And that's the best part is when you can tell somebody about somebody who's not in the room. That's where you can see the advantage of it all.

[John Gafford]

So let's pull up. Let's pull up the old wife here. Yeah. So here's the wife. Non. That's. That's a non filtered. Okay, let's see what you got. Sorry, honey. Yeah, let's see you on the. On the air. This is magical.

[Brian Galke]

The downside is I can't see if her eyes find one. If that's a good picture where she's.

[John Gafford]

Just kind of not smiling at normal things.

[Brian Galke]

Well, no, that's perfect picture. I just can't see the end of her eyebrows. So I can't tell you if they're straight eyebrows or if they're angled. But things that I also saw when I was looking, there is both of her eyes. If you go from the inset of her eyes right here to the outside of her eyes, they both angle up.

[John Gafford]

All right, hang on, here's. Here's a. Let me get. Also I'm going to give you a non voluntary photo because I do tend to take pictures of her when she works everywhere. She hates that.

[Brian Galke]

So that's. But that's a positive. Or that's a positive. If you want to take pictures of her, she makes you happy.

[John Gafford]

Yeah. So I think here's. This is a non. I'm going to take your picture.

[Brian Galke]

Okay, that's perfect. Yeah.

[John Gafford]

Is that better?

[Brian Galke]

Yeah, because what I was looking for is here. So if I zoom in, see, I want to be able to see if that angled or not. So she does have an angled eyebrow, and that's her profession or her personal side. So again, where a wedding ring would be is the personal side of somebody's face. So let's see. I can't see what that one is, but I'm gonna guess she has them both the same way. Angled eyebrow people are. What's her angle? Help her understand it. Then she can figure out how to help others. Now, the next thing I noticed is both of her eyes. If you go from the inside slit here to the outside slit, they both angle up slightly. So those are the people who want to hear about the upside of things. You got to keep things positive because if you start coming in with negativity, mentally, she'll shut down. So look here. So she's got kind of smaller nostrils here, so. And then she has creases in her nostrils kind of like you do. So people with creases in their nostrils have a hard time delegating things out to other people. When they do, they'll follow up with them, even if after they delegate it out. She's definitely got that same thing you do, which is the wide area here. So kinesthetic hands on learner. Obviously, I can't see her ears, but she's got decent sized eyes. But I'd say she's a kinesthetic hands on learner first, visual second. I'm gonna guess she has small to medium ears just by the other two facial features that are here. But remember I was telling you that line below the lip and above the chin? Yeah, she's got that for sure. So sincere verbal compliments are a big thing with her. So when you're talking to. When you're talking to her, the more specific the compliment, the better. She also has a ball at the end of her nose. So people at the ball at the end of their nose appreciate beauty and usually have, like, crafty hobbies. So I don't know what she does, but that's usually what. When you see that on a person, good full upper lip and lower lip. So you can't keep it strictly business. You need to ask your personal questions. Also, when you're talking to her, she's got talk lines on both sides. So that's how she gets to know people. Then she's got a strong jaw right there. So once she makes up her mind, she can latch in and hold the position that she makes her mind up with. So to get her to change her mind, you got to come with facts, figures, data. Not just, hey, I want you to change your mind, but here's the reasons why you have to unlatch that jaw and change your position on things. All right. And see if I see anything else. That's the main thing that I can see on it right now.

[John Gafford]

All right.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

So back to me then. So now I kind of figured how to talk to her. Back to me then.

[Brian Galke]

So we'll go. We'll show your audience some things that they can see on you. So go ahead and raise your eyebrows up. I can see them from here, but when you raise your eyebrows up, I can see several different lines. So go ahead and raise yours. So those are called Einstein lines. So I know when I'm giving you information, don't keep it bullet points. I need to give you above, beyond the bullet point information. So I would give you the whole user manual and said just a cheat sheet on something. Because once you're into something, you like to dive in. And those right here are earned, like Malcolm Gladwell's 10,000 hours of study. It's by thinking and focusing and doing.

[John Gafford]

That I'm going to say. I'm going to say that one. Maybe it's Botox.

[Brian Galke]

I don't know.

[John Gafford]

You missed that one, dude. I'm a Cliff Notes dude.

[Brian Galke]

Are you really?

[John Gafford]

Oh, my God.

[Brian Galke]

I would not have guessed that.

[John Gafford]

I cannot stand to get neat. Like. Yeah, you're going to lose me in the details because. Yeah, that's why I hire people. I hired detail people.

[Brian Galke]

Oh, you hired people for that?

[John Gafford]

Yeah, Yeah. I want to get. I want to get. How's this going to help me? What is this going to do? Let's make a decision quickly. Let's go. And then I want to hand it off to people that they can get in the minute.

[Brian Galke]

See, that surprised me. Because when you squint it down, you have more than two lines, which is perfectionist, like, tendencies.

[John Gafford]

Well, which is fine.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

Which. Okay, so, okay, maybe that's just personal growth. Then I'll say. Because I have, like, one of the things I talk about all the time is delegating at 80%.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

And being okay with 80%. And. And people don't understand what that means. It's like, look, nobody's ever going to be you or do it exactly the way you're going to do it. They're going to do it 80% of what? As well as you think it should be done.

[Brian Galke]

Right.

[John Gafford]

But in reality, if you're hiring the right people to do this, what you perceive as 80% as good as what you would have done is really 120% probably as good as you would have done.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah. Because you have. You can have more people doing it.

[John Gafford]

Confirmation bias. We have confirmation bias. On your way is the best way.

[Brian Galke]

Right.

[John Gafford]

So you've got to let that go.

[Brian Galke]

Yes.

[John Gafford]

So, yes, I'm going to say you're probably accurate, but I've just maybe grown into that, being a little more mature.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

Well, just understanding with myself that I need to just hand this stuff off because there's only so many hours.

[Brian Galke]

Well, that's just it. I. And look, I'm guilty of this where I. A lot of times I do all my own videos on social media. People like, why don't you have other people do it? I'm like, because I had to learn all these things, and if they put out the wrong information, then I worry about the audience getting misinformation versus accurate information. So there's some things you have to do, but then it is figuring out what are you holding on to for all the wrong reasons. Right. And that's what every business person's got to figure out. That's why all the books buy back your time. All these things are coming out are, how do you learn to delegate?

[John Gafford]

You know, I just had him on the show. Yeah.

[Brian Galke]

So he's funny. He was one that I don't. It's not often after being a speaker for a few years, you get to meet a lot of people. Yeah. He was one that. I was at an event speaking in Austin. He came to go visit somebody else. I was like, you're Dan Martell. And I went and took a picture with him. I fanboyed out.

[John Gafford]

And he could care less. He's just like, yeah. And what's your name? Yeah, Dan's super cool.

[Brian Galke]

He is. He's just so laid back. And because he lives in Canada, I wasn't expecting to see him in Austin, Texas, just walking around.

[John Gafford]

Yeah.

[Brian Galke]

And, you know, he's in his typical blue shirt and, you know, whatever. But he's super nice guy. And he just walked around. He came down to watch some people he knew in Austin that do a special show. And he's like, well, I came to support my friends for the weekend, so. Super nice guy. I'll tell you another one. Just side note, Chris Voss is another one.

[John Gafford]

Chris been in that chair as well, man.

[Brian Galke]

We spoke at door to Door Con two years ago together. And in the green room, I was like, I'm gonna get to know Chris. And so I kind of like sat over here that slowly worked my way over. And we talked for 30 minutes before he went on stage. And he talked about, he's like, you know, I appreciate you having an interest in book and everything, but you need to study other people. Like Robert Green, because he reverse engineers and I'm sharing my thing, so you need to. So he didn't make it about himself. Instead, he was just, like, helping me as a person. Yeah, he's such a genuine guy. Yeah, he was really, really good.

[John Gafford]

I love that. It was funny. That's how I love when people come on here to promote books. And I found myself doing this on my podcast. Or when you go on to promote your book and you end up talking about other people's books. Yeah. Like I think I actually said the other day, like, where should somebody start? I'm like, oh, Ryan Holidays.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

You know, start with Ryan Holiday. Yes. Start with that. I'm like, wait a second. I'm trying to sell a book, too. Forget Right. Holiday.

[Brian Galke]

Well, after everybody buys your book tomorrow.

[John Gafford]

Then later didn't go by Ryan. Yeah. The obstacles away to this day is is one of my favorite pieces of literature. I love that book.

[Brian Galke]

Well, and that's when you find something that impacts you down, you want to share it. Right. And that's the same thing that's going to happen with your book. Your book. Somebody's going to read it and it's going to impact them, and they're going to recommend your book. And that's the good thing about things. And even though somebody who has a book book that they could be talking about theirs, they're going to read yours. Right. And then they're going to say, hey, you got to pick up his book. And that's a very positive thing.

[John Gafford]

Well, the thing that's crazy to me and like, where I think we as men have a responsibility now. I don't know if you saw that. Oh, gosh, what's his name? John Gladwell. Is that right?

[Brian Galke]

Malcolm Gladwell or.

[John Gafford]

No, not Malcolm Gladwell, who's got a book coming out right now on masculinity.

[Brian Galke]

Oh, I don't know.

[John Gafford]

He's a. I, I. Sorry. Just so many people. You talk about so many people and they run through your head. He's an NYU professor. I want to get his name right, so I'm going to look it up. I need like, that guy in here that, like, Joe Rogan has. It just looks stuff up.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah. On the side.

[John Gafford]

Yeah, yeah. Book on skew. He's doing a huge chore right now, but it's wild wherever it is. Notes on. Here it is. Scott Galloway. Sorry, Scott. Scott Galloway.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

His new book coming out, which I'm going to definitely buy because it's the same mission as mine.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

And he was on a show the other day and he dropped these stats. And I'm going to tell them to you. I don't know if you saw this or not, but as a man, I think we all need to take responsibility for this stuff and, and do better by the young ones coming up behind us, if you will. But listen to these stats. Dude, this was wild to me. I literally took a picture of them because it was so out there.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

In between my million screenshots of. What is this font? Sorry, I don't. It's. My weakness is if I see a font I like, I'm like, what is that font? Yeah, hang on. I'm going to find it. Sure. It's the best part about this. People are just sitting here. It's literally just like you're sitting here with us.

[Brian Galke]

Well, here, if you want. Let's talk about something I recognize on you that while you're looking at.

[John Gafford]

Yes.

[Brian Galke]

So in your left ear you've got a crease here. So that's called a heart line.

[John Gafford]

Line.

[Brian Galke]

So that, that line, I've heard that is that bad?

[John Gafford]

For me?

[Brian Galke]

Yeah. It just means you gotta keep your cardiovascular health in check. So it's.

[John Gafford]

My wife said that to me.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah. So you talk to a doctor or nurse, they're going to tell you that's a heart line. And I use as an example because that's one that people hear a lot. You talk to any doctor, nurse, they're gonna see a line go, hey, you got to keep your cardiovascular health in check.

[John Gafford]

What cause, so what causes that to have aligned?

[Brian Galke]

It's just the way the arteries and the veins and everything change over time. It just creates that. And it's. Our faces are biofeedback machines that tell us what's going on. And so by having that, what else.

[John Gafford]

Do you see that I need? Well, I'm going to tell you the stats and you're gonna tell me what else I need to look out for. Ready? So here, crisis facing young men, 18 to 24 year olds. Right. 60% of them are living with their parents.

[Brian Galke]

Yep.

[John Gafford]

30 year olds, 20% are living with their parents.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

20 to 24. The number not in school nor working is tripled. 15% of men say they have no close friends.

[Brian Galke]

Yep.

[John Gafford]

They're four times more likely to take their own life than women and girls, which I think is crazy. So for me, when I read that, I mean, obviously My book is always kind of geared at this, but seeing that the other day I was like, oh my God. I'm making it my personal mission to get this, this, this information into the hands of as many young men as I can. And the skills that you're teaching here are just invaluable. So, you know, I'll make a challenge to you to figure out how to get this information into the hands of those young men so that's, we can turn this around.

[Brian Galke]

That's what I want to focus on. I have an eight year old daughter, so I. Young men need it more than anything. Like when you go through anything as a guy, we're just told be a man, but nobody tells us what that is. Right. And so you look at like we all have tough times. A few months ago I went through a tough time. It was somebody else that saw it and they go, are you happy? I'm like, like, actually I'm not. I got a lot of stuff going on right now. They go, come to my clinic. For three days I went to this guy's clinic. His name is Dr. Sean Drake. He's in Phoenix, Arizona or Scottsdale. And he seemed Modern athlete. And I spent three days with him and man, the guy reached out. We did breath work, we did neurosis, nervous system reset stuff, all kinds of stuff. I walked in feeling half broken. I walked out feeling alive again.

[John Gafford]

In three days.

[Brian Galke]

In three days.

[John Gafford]

What's this guy? I need to go see this guy.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah, his name's Sean Drake and he's got a place called Modern Athlete, but it's M O D E R N E Me Athlete and it's in Scottsdale and they do all kinds of breath work. Pemf, which is, that's the pulsing electro frequency.

[John Gafford]

We have that.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah, so he, we did that, we did light work. You have that?

[John Gafford]

See, we have. Okay. My wife is trying to make me live forever. I guess that means she likes me, which is cool. But yeah, we have the red lights, we have the PMF mats, we have the EWOT machine where you breathe the oxygen. Yes, you do. All that we have. All with songs.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah, yeah. But it, you know, the thing was, when I was going through a hard time, I was, was afraid to tell anybody because you're not supposed to, right. You're just supposed to sit with it. And that's not really the way it is. We should, as guys, we should be able to celebrate wins, which we're taught not to do because, oh, don't brag. And when you have hard Times it's hard to talk to anybody. And that's. I just did a post on this, I reposted on Facebook where it said, I'd rather sit and talk with you for, you know, multiple hours than sitting through 15 minutes of your eulogy. And that's. That's the sad thing. I mean, we talked about this before, like, you know, when you lose somebody that we all think everybody's gonna live forever. But, you know, when Steve died, I cried like a baby for a day because he impacted me to such a level. And it's one of those things that we don't realize that men need other men for a lot of things.

[John Gafford]

Well, dude. And even through that, you know, 12 days before he died, we're talking about doing a joint event today.

[Brian Galke]

Yes.

[John Gafford]

Yeah. He was supposed to be here doing. Supposed to be here doing his thing, his speakeasy thing. And he's like, I'll bring my speakeasy people to your book launch. We'll do a joint thing. It'll be great. Blah, blah. 12 days. I was under the impression I talked to him every week.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

And I was under the impression he was getting better and getting better and looking up and, yep. Making plans. I should be out of here. Blah, blah. And then, like, wham, he was gone.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

And I. And I. And I often think about, you know, did he know where he really was and was he just putting on a happy face for all of us?

[Brian Galke]

I think sometimes you have to have something that motivates you to keep going. So, matter of fact, one of the guys I had cigars with last night, he was told in 2023 that he was going to die within several months, and he's still here. And that's one of the things is, do you follow medical advice that's for anyone, or do you go with what you believe in your heart? And there's so many stories of people who beat cancer, all these things, and lived five times longer than medical professionals told them was out there. Yeah. Maybe that's where Steve was. But, you know, he did say there was an eerie post that came up one time and said, like, you know, do whatever you have to do now because you never know how long you're going to be here. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I remember that. Yeah. I mean, that one was one that rocked me to the core.

[John Gafford]

Well, the one where he posted himself, like, oh, I don't look in the. In the bed, but yeah. But when he looked like, yeah, really gaunt, I was like, whoa, that was. That was A lot.

[Brian Galke]

So I'm gonna do what you just did now. I was going through on the way here things on my, my phone that I miss. And, and that actually popped up. So it's a picture of Steve that I used. I took a picture of his favorite motorcycle and a picture of him, and I threw it into AI And I'm like, give me a picture of Steve. And that's what AI came back with. And I'm like, that's when I keep. On my phone.

[John Gafford]

Yep. I'll show you my version of that.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

I sent him him this. I, I. When it was. When I got that gaunt picture that was terrible. I sent him this, which was him going from the hospital bed that he was in to out on the track with his son.

[Brian Galke]

Is what. Yeah, which is.

[John Gafford]

I use that made AI with that. And yeah, yeah, I made. I'm back. But yeah, for those of you KL say we were using AI to motivate our friend, which I highly recommend you doing. Absolutely. Because other than that, I've found my favorite use for AI is torturing people on Fantasy Football Sunday, man, I just. The poor guy. One of my leagues I beat by 80 points yesterday. I mean, it was all day. I was just an onslaught, harassing him all day. It was a magical day for me.

[Brian Galke]

Well, and that's. That's how men bond, right? By harassing each other?

[John Gafford]

Well, it's. It's pebbling is what they call it. It me, I've read an article that said memeing is the new pebbling. So, like, occasional what? Pebbling is like, penguins will show affection to each other by going and, like, finding a penguin or a pebble and then leaving the pebble at the feet of the other penguin. Whatever. So men, because we don't express emotion, we just send each other the most ridiculous phallus, get yourself canceled memes that you can imagine. It's that bad. And yes, before you judge me or any other man, your husband, your boyfriend, everybody, Everybody's in this group. They might, they may not be the worst perpetrator. Like, I like to think that I'm more of just a, Ooh, should I get out of this group? Person that I like. I'm very rarely the center of these things, but there's always one person in that group that is just way unhinged. Completely unhinged.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah. Well, if everybody. Women don't get this. A lot of times they're like, why are you guys so mean to each other? I'm like, go watch Gran Torino in the barbershop scene. Like that helps explain when he's taking the kid to teach him. Like, this is how men harass other men.

[John Gafford]

Yeah.

[Brian Galke]

And it's true. I mean, that's one thing. Like you knew Steve liked you. If he harassed you, you.

[John Gafford]

Oh, for sure.

[Brian Galke]

Like he gave me a pin that said go F yourself. You know, and that was one of the things that was out there. Something that. This is my add kicking in. You mentioned the stats with men before. I'm gonna add, I'm add to that. December 2023, 800 employers were an interview and said, what's the hardest thing about hiring kids out of high school and college? 53% couldn't make eye contact for a job interview.

[John Gafford]

Yeah, that's the, that's the thing. And I tell my kids all the time, right. That I say, which is why I love your facial recognition. We're gonna get to body stuff in a minute. But being able to read people and understand where you are, I mean, for.

[Brian Galke]

Me.

[John Gafford]

I always try to hire the smartest people I can. I mean, that's obviously a goal of any good employer. But I'm also trying to hire the people with highest eq because if you don't understand, especially in the sales industry, when you've got people and when you're losing them.

[Brian Galke]

Yes.

[John Gafford]

Like, you got to know. And for me, that's my superpower. Like, I know exactly how far I can push the envelope before it breaks. I know when to pull back. I know, I know when I have somebody, I can just feel it. Right. And I tell my kids all the time. Like by the time you're mid-20s, they are 17 and 15. My daughter will be 16, two weeks. Good Lord. But by the time that they are in the mid-20s, the ability to connect with, to talk to and really connect with another human being is going to be a skill that is in short order.

[Brian Galke]

Yes.

[John Gafford]

And if you do that, you will be so much further ahead than anybody else. So I mean, if you're a parent out there, get the damn phone out of your kid's hand at least part of the day.

[Brian Galke]

Yes.

[John Gafford]

And make them talk to you and make them look you in the eye and have a conversation. Because you're right, it's, it's. They're so disconnected.

[Brian Galke]

And we gave them, we created the problem. Because with this device comes the, the illusion of perfection. So even my 8 year old daughter, she's like, take a picture. And then she's like, let me see it. I don't like it. Delete it and retake it. We, growing up, took a picture, it got sent off for two weeks later, went to Fox photo or Eckard's or whatever.

[John Gafford]

Yes, it did. Eckard.

[Brian Galke]

And it came back. You probably had red eye in it and you look like crap, and you just lived with it. Right? But with this device, they can have the perfect text message, the perfect email. I can order dinners, dates, drivers. It doesn't. And so they don't have to inter with people. And so I just did a study on this.

[John Gafford]

And you know. And you know, what's funny you say about. Say that we'll get back to your study. But people today are robbed of the imperfections.

[Brian Galke]

Yes.

[John Gafford]

Because if you look back like we have. My mom gave me years ago. She gave me, like a scrapbook when she had gone to Gidgets, my wife's mother, and got a bunch of pictures of her when she was younger. Because as they get older, they don't want to hang on to them. They want them to go on and put them both in a scrapbook. And I love that scrapbook with all of its imperfection and all of its, you know, all of the horrible photographs and all of the terrible stuff that's there. I love those photographs. And the imperfection is where the magic in the memory is. And if everything always looks perfect, then that's not really how things were or are that.

[Brian Galke]

Well, that's why right now, what videos are doing the best on all social media ones are done with iPhones.

[John Gafford]

Yeah. Straight versus walking, walking, talking shop walking.

[Brian Galke]

Talking, versus perfect studios, with a perfect camera, with edited this and that. Because we miss authenticity with everything.

[John Gafford]

Yeah.

[Brian Galke]

We log onto people's social media, we see them living their best life, which it's like anything else that may be five minutes of their day. That's their best life. But what's their real life? Like? I like to ask my Uber drivers when I'm driving around, like, tell me some of your craziest stories.

[John Gafford]

I was gonna say, yeah, let me. Tell me tell you about my crypto scheme. Take over the world. All I need is $87 over there.

[Brian Galke]

Exactly.

[John Gafford]

Okay.

[Brian Galke]

No, I always ask.

[John Gafford]

Died to hear this.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah. No, I always ask them, like, hey, you know, you've been doing this for a while. Where's. Where's some of your crazy stories? Well, I live in Dallas, Texas, and there's an area called. Gosh, I just blanked on Highland Park. No, Highland Park. And then these are the big, huge mansions, you know, 10, 20, 30 million, whatever it is, like a. A small one's 5 million there. And the Uber drivers say, like, oh, well, I'll pick up the person here and they'll tell me how horrible their life is. Or they'll ask me like, can they sleep with me on the way to being dropped off their house because their husband hasn't slept with them in eight months or whatever. And it's just so you see these beautiful houses on the outside, but you don't know what's going on on the inside. And that's what social media is. People are only putting this best thing that's out there that's I like talking about things I screw up or like when money's one month, when it's like, oh crap, I don't have any gigs this month. What am I going to do for money? You know, you got to share what's really going on with people because it's causing depression at all time high. Because they're comparing and thinking everyone else's life is perfect when it's not.

[John Gafford]

Well, it's not that. It's more than that because what it's doing is. It's expanding. It's moving the goalpost to an unreasonable, to an unrealistic place.

[Brian Galke]

Yes.

[John Gafford]

And I was watching this video the other day that I thought was so interesting. Some random dude online and he was talking about why they Will Be Blood is the perfect movie. And he said it's not. Because if you've never seen it, it's incredible movie. It's incredible movie.

[Brian Galke]

Okay?

[John Gafford]

But they say the reason it's. Everybody should see this movie is not because they think it's beautifully shot or a wonderful story, because it is a. It's a depressing ass. Long story.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

An oil man in the turn of the century.

[Brian Galke]

Okay?

[John Gafford]

But essentially he says this. The reason you should watch this movie is because this character is currently in all of us, okay? Because through the movie he gets family, he gets faith, he gets all of these things and none of it make him feel, none of them make him happy. Nothing makes him happy. It is a relentless pursuit.

[Brian Galke]

Right.

[John Gafford]

For more.

[Brian Galke]

Yes.

[John Gafford]

For just more.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

And you see how this relentless pursuit for more has just made this person completely hollow. Now, I am all about it, but I mean, I'm all about being the best you.

[Brian Galke]

Yes.

[John Gafford]

But I'm also about setting goals and understanding the person that you are kind of are going to become. Or. Or the person you're trying to become is about making others around you better, is about actually having happiness. And what might make you happy, what those goal posts are don't need to be the same for everybody.

[Brian Galke]

Right.

[John Gafford]

It doesn't, it doesn't matter. Right. Like, when people come and interview at our company, I'm always like, how much money do you want to make?

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

And I. If somebody says, I want to make $87,000 a year.

[Brian Galke]

Right.

[John Gafford]

And that's a very specific number. I'm not going to sit there and say, well, you should want to make $250,000 a year, because they've probably thought this out.

[Brian Galke]

Right.

[John Gafford]

And that's their number.

[Brian Galke]

Specific number for you.

[John Gafford]

Yeah. Because that, that number probably provides them a life that they can spend all the time they want with their kids and not worry about any of their bills and take their vacations and do what they want to do. And they don't care if they ever get a Ferrari.

[Brian Galke]

Right.

[John Gafford]

They're not trying to get a Lambo.

[Brian Galke]

Yes.

[John Gafford]

They don't get care.

[Brian Galke]

Right.

[John Gafford]

But I think it's so funny, especially in this industry with what we do with so many people like, oh, no, you need to be making. No, no, come work for here, we'll show you how to make $300,000. Well, dude, no, you just need to get people where they want to go and where they decide they need to go, not where Instagram tells them they need to go.

[Brian Galke]

I sold my soul for 50,001 time. I went, oh, no. Yeah, well, I was in corporate America and I got moved from one position to another one. And the. And I went from. From a job I love to a job I hated or eight hours a day over money. And that's the whole thing is I didn't look at the freedom I had before. I was going visiting clients, customers and everything until I went to eight hours a day of Zoom Calls, you know, and just, it, it robbed my soul. And I'm so happy not to be there anymore. And it wasn't, it just wasn't the right job for me. It might be the right job for somebody else, but I wasn't meant to be on Zoom Calls. I have a stand up desk. I want to go visit people, I want to travel. That's what I love doing. And like I said, it's different for every person. I know somebody who, they just want a big house that they can be in, never have to leave their house. If people want to come visit them, great. I'm not that way. I. I have a town home. I live in a walkable party town where I can walk and go out and do that. Yeah.

[John Gafford]

You know what's funny? I just did a deal I just did a speaking event in Dallas, and it was at the Omni, maybe.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah. It's like 10 minutes from me.

[John Gafford]

And so I literally walked. I just went and walked all through downtown Dallas.

[Brian Galke]

Yes.

[John Gafford]

Like, I mean, I just. Because I'd never really done it. And I walked all the way down to, like, where the W was. Yep. From the Omni.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

And then I cut across to where some restaurant was and I walked back through where, like, the Dallas Baptist churches downtown where you're like, what is this complex I'm in? You're like, yeah, this is a damn. This is a church.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

This thing is crazy.

[Brian Galke]

I've spoken there. Like, they have. They'll rent out. Yeah. It's huge.

[John Gafford]

Yeah. But. But I love how. But I. I never realized how really walkable Dallas was. And I loved it.

[Brian Galke]

It is. Well, yesterday. So I. I've been staying at Paris Hotel and the guy was meeting at 8 Cigar Lounge. You know, that said, that's a sports world. Yeah. It's a mile and a half. I walked it yesterday because I was like, it's such a nice day.

[John Gafford]

Beautiful day.

[Brian Galke]

Why not? You get to go. People watch and you could see a little bit. Yeah, there's a lot to see.

[John Gafford]

Yes, there is. Especially. Especially when you get on the other side of like, the wind. There's a lot to see down there.

[Brian Galke]

Oh, yeah.

[John Gafford]

That makes life a little more interesting.

[Brian Galke]

Interesting area when you get over there. But I decided to walk it because I'm like, why not? I'm like, I could sit and, you know, I grab sushi or whatever, but I'm to going like, I'm here. Why not go and explore? And that's what I love to do. And. Because I let people watching and looking people, that's their thing. Like, I'll make a game when I walk from, like, one place to another. Like, how many rounded eyebrows can I see? How many straight eyebrows? Because nobody's ever paying attention to people just looking at. And what are you doing? Eyebrows lead to eye contact, and so you get to just look at people real fast. And I love doing it.

[John Gafford]

Oh, man. So I love that because you're. You're sharpening your sword everywhere you go. Because so many people don't. Yeah.

[Brian Galke]

Most people are so oblivious. They're caught up in what's going on. What do I need to do? For social media, we forgot how to connect with other people. And that's the study I was going to tell you about earlier is you were talking about emotional intelligence and teaching it to the kids. What they have said is, and this was when I researched, it was back in August, is people who learn soft skills number one. That's the number one skill for the future. Everybody agrees on this. The World Economic Forum, everybody says soft skills, emotional intelligence skills are what will keep people employed in the future. If you learn soft skills, 28% higher win rate in sales, 55% peer to peer relationships improve. 63% of customers will stay with you or coworkers will stay with you like employees because you can make them feel seen and heard. And then the last one is an 88% boost in productivity. Why? Because if I know how to ask for information from you and the way that you hear me faster, it speeds everything up.

[John Gafford]

Yep. The world moves faster.

[Brian Galke]

And people who say, well, I just email and text. Great. AI can do that. Chat GPT. You can have a chat GPT agent right now. Text and email every one of my clients. If you're not picking up the phone, you're not meeting with people, you're not going out in public, you will be unemployed at some point.

[John Gafford]

That's what I tell people in our industry is you've always got to try to elevate this on the communication ladder.

[Brian Galke]

Yes.

[John Gafford]

If somebody sends you an email, you gotta, maybe you can send them a text. If they send you a text, you need to call them. I mean you're always trying to elevate. If you're talking on the phone, you try to elevate to a face to face. You're always trying to, you're trying to move up the communication, communication ladder.

[Brian Galke]

Absolutely.

[John Gafford]

So where you're face to face and.

[Brian Galke]

You want to figure out how do they communicate. So for example, Janine Driver, body language expert. If you don't know her, I'll introduce you. She has very large ears and she has small eyes. So we talked about earlier. That's an auditory person. If I want to get.

[John Gafford]

Is that stereotyping though?

[Brian Galke]

Come on, go and do it. No, seriously. We could go through picture after picture and talk to people. Because look at, look at when babies are born, what do they all have? They all have large eyes. And what happens over time is baby's eyes adjust, determine if they stay visual or do they like to hear things. Because when babies are born, born they, they have vision, they don't understand sounds yet and they don't know how to make words. So that's why this is the biggest feature. And then that changes over time. So with Janine, I know she's auditory, so I have to send her a voice Text or a facetimer. If I send her a regular picture, a meme, she doesn't respond for days. So what I have to learn is based on who I'm talking to, how do I want, how do they best respond is how I send them stuff.

[John Gafford]

It's like next level matching and mirroring is what it is. Yeah, it's funny. I. I'm all about how you receive information. I've got a big problem tomorrow because my book is dropping tomorrow on November 11th and I just found out, out, unfortunately, yesterday, I'm up against another huge drop, which is McDonald's is dropping the McRib tomorrow. So I'm going to do a comparison video today on why, if you're trying to figure out which one to buy tomorrow, the McRib or my book, which one is better? And one of the categories I'm winning in is consumption. Because McRib, you can only consume it with your mouth. But my book, because I have the book which you can read with your eyes.

[Brian Galke]

Right.

[John Gafford]

But I also did the Audible book.

[Brian Galke]

Yes.

[John Gafford]

So you can listen to it. So that's two to one. So checkbox for the book over the McRib tomorrow.

[Brian Galke]

That's right.

[John Gafford]

Oh, I'm doing a whole video on this. I've already decided.

[Brian Galke]

Oh, that's great.

[John Gafford]

Because there's going to be people that struggle tomorrow. Book. I don't know.

[Brian Galke]

I think because you have a good size audience, all you have to do is tag a few people and go, hey, help me.

[John Gafford]

Yeah, let me get well. Yeah, yeah, we've done that very well. Luckily, I have an army of good friends that have big followings that all receive the book in advance and tomorrow will be post share Armageddon.

[Brian Galke]

Hopefully when we leave here, we'll take a picture. I'll hold up your book.

[John Gafford]

Love it, man. That's called the hero. That's called the hero picture in the PR world is what you're looking for.

[Brian Galke]

Yes.

[John Gafford]

You're looking for the hero picture. So that's good. I love that. Well, for the. You give me the hero picture, I'm going to give you a book. Exactly. Make you buy one.

[Brian Galke]

Well, I'm going to buy one anyway so I can leave you an Amazon review. Yes.

[John Gafford]

Which is important. It is really important.

[Brian Galke]

So that's what people don't understand is when authors give their books away, they're doing it because they want to share the message. And that's absolutely what you're doing. But the hardest thing is you can't leave an Amazon review if you don't buy the book.

[John Gafford]

You can. Oh, it's just not verified.

[Brian Galke]

Oh, okay. I didn't know that.

[John Gafford]

Yes, because we have. Because when we did this, we did a huge sale internally.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

So we did a lot of internal sales. Right. And those people. Again, we'll all get an email tomorrow. Hey, please, you know, your book should be showing up today. When they do, please give us a review. There you go. No problem. And then I guess I have to go to Barnes and Noble today and sign the stacks, wherever they are. So that'll be fun. Here, local.

[Brian Galke]

That's not a problem to have.

[John Gafford]

It is a good problem. So let's get back to what we can do to help other people, because enough about me. What's about body language?

[Brian Galke]

Yes.

[John Gafford]

So rather than read others, let's talk about body language on how you can present yourself. So, people, what are some things people can do to make themselves more likable? Because I think after hearing that stat of only 15% of guys especially say they have friends. What can I do to walk into a room? Body language wise, facial expression wise, Whatever I can do to make myself more likable.

[Brian Galke]

Sure. So we'll go face first, body second.

[John Gafford]

Yes.

[Brian Galke]

There's a really good book called the Like Switch. L I K E. It's a red book and it was written by a former FBI behavioral analysis unit expert. And what they said is, when any and stranger enters the room, we immediately look at their eyebrows to see are they raised in recognition? Are they furrowed like a foe? And so if they're raised like, hey, how's it going? If they're like this, instantly we go into, oh, that's a predator. So when we walk into a room. Room. Raise your eyebrows up, tilt your head and smile. Why do you tilt your head? Because you're saying, I'm showing my carotid artery. I don't feel threatened in the room. And when you smile, mirror neurons, when you smile, I want to smile. So they actually teach people when they walk into a room, tilt your head, raise your eyebrows up, and smile. That's a simple one. Now, when you go to body stature, when you walk into a room, if you have your shoulders slumped and everything, then you don't look confident. But if you have your shoulders back, then you walk into a room, people like, wow, that person owns the room. Room. And when you walk in, you have to think of yourself as like the main character in a movie. How would they walk into a room? And there's all kinds of mental tricks you can do in what one book Teaches is every time you walk into a room, imagine like a stirrup is here that you have to put your mouth in. And so you raise your head up. And so it's like you're walking into a room. So imagine it's just hanging there and you have to bite it. Why? So it forces you to keep your head up, not just your shoulders back. A really good book on that subject is you say more than you think. Budgeting Drives Driver. That was written I actually before I ever met Janine, I bought that book because what happened during the pandemic, all of our body language went to crap because we sat home. We're wearing like professional stuff up here, workout gear down below, you know, we stopped.

[John Gafford]

This is the front party in the rear, buddy.

[Brian Galke]

Exactly.

[John Gafford]

It was.

[Brian Galke]

It was the, you know, the business mullet days, you know, and we were all doing Covid pours when we were drinking and everything else. But we got to depending on how our desk was and our camera. We got sloppy with our body language. And so what you want to do, like, I'm not doing the best right now. If you walk in and you meet people and you.

[John Gafford]

That's a hard couch to sit on and be straight.

[Brian Galke]

You have to have open body posture because when you're open, then people want to talk to you. When you're closed off, look how just the difference of doing that. Yeah, but what people just understand is the room might be cold. So if somebody sits like this or there's studies that when people do this, it's right brain and left brain working together. So the important part of that is how fast do people cross their arms or legs is what you pay attention to do. So when you. When you're walking into a room, shoulders back, head high, walk in, raise your eyebrows up, tilt your head and smile. If you don't want to tilt your head and smile, that's great. But don't walk in. If you need glasses, go get your glasses, get contacts. Because when you walk in like this, the Jamis Winston.

[John Gafford]

Where are my receivers face?

[Brian Galke]

Yes, exactly.

[John Gafford]

College.

[Brian Galke]

And it's rbf. Because when you do this, people think, oh, they're angry. And I didn't know this when I was younger, so before I had PRK done, which is like Lasik, but they don't cut your eye. They like microdermabrasion your eye out. So that's. That's when I needed glasses. It's a cool way to do it because they don't have to slice your eye. But I used to walk in. I Didn't realize I was frowning all the time. And. Or squinting. And people like, why are you so angry? I'm like, what are you talking about? I'm a pretty jovial guy, but instinctively when a stranger enters the room, if we see this, we think foe. And after we look here, then we look in their hands for what can kill us. So if you want to do that, just good posture, just raise your eyebrows up and you walk in like, hey, recognition versus this.

[John Gafford]

Yeah. It's funny. I've told people for years something that I got from Tony Robbins, which is, if you want to change your life, life, just spend five days walking around like you have a string attached to the middle of your chest pulling up.

[Brian Galke]

Yep.

[John Gafford]

And just watch how much differently the world reacts to you than walking around all slumped around.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah. So Janine, I'm going to screw up her. Her rhyme, but she, like me, likes to make up little mnemonics that people can easily remember. But it's like, where the wall meets the ceiling is a good feeling. And what it is is you want to, when you walk into a room, project. Like if you're Tony Stark and your light was shooting off your chest, you want to go right there to where the ceiling meets the wall.

[John Gafford]

Wall.

[Brian Galke]

Because when you walk in, you do that. Of course, I'm sitting, so it looks awkward, but you have the right posture when you're doing it. Yeah, yeah. So it's another way that people can mentally do it is thinking, if they had the Tony the Iron man light here, how would they project it to right where the ceiling meets the wall?

[John Gafford]

Okay. Now if I'm talking to people, how do I know if they like me? How do I know if they don't like me?

[Brian Galke]

Sure. We lean towards what we like. We lean away from things that we don't like. That's a very easy one. When you're looking at body language, there's all kinds of things you can look out there like every once in a while. If you look at your watch and somebody else does it, it's because they like you and they're going to do the same thing. A very simple one is if you're out at a restaurant or something like that, take a sip of your water and see who does it at the same time you do.

[John Gafford]

Yeah.

[Brian Galke]

So those are little things that you can do, but here's one that is you have to be paying a lot of attention to people if their lower eyelid is rounded. Our eyes are like camera lenses, so the wider the lens is, the more it Takes in if you're talking to somebody and they've got a rounded lower lid. So for the people listening, what I'm pointing at is the lower part of the eyelid are rounded.

[John Gafford]

Yeah.

[Brian Galke]

If they suddenly go straight, you just flatlined because they're trying to shut you out for something you said or did. So I've used this in business negotiations before where we're going over contract terms. And I saw across the table, two eyelids went straight, like, oh, they didn't like something. And you can just say, you know, it seemed like something didn't sit right with you. Can you want to go into that? Like, yeah. And then we went into it and we resolved that issue. But it was all because I was paying attention. I was giving them eye contact, and I saw that lower lid go straight.

[John Gafford]

Great.

[Brian Galke]

And so that's just a sign that you just flatlined. Something you said or did killed the deal.

[John Gafford]

I wish I could have been a fly on the wall with you and Chris voss talking. Did you. Were you guys at all discussing things that. You see, none of this happened him.

[Brian Galke]

Well, we were just talking about what I teach a little bit. But I mainly wanted to meet him because his book changed my life. It was one of those. When I got moved into sales, I got the book, and I even told him a funny story or two funny stories. One is when you listen to his audible, It's a very eloquent speaker who reads the book, and then you meet him in real life. And I was like, oh, yeah. The other thing was I really liked his book. And this was back when I was still in corporate America.

[John Gafford]

Never split the differences.

[Brian Galke]

Oh, yeah. Never split the difference. And. But my company would never invest in sales training for us. So I found out he was in the tower club in downtown Dallas. He was hosting an event there. And I worked from home. So what I did is I went. Snuck my way into the tower club, and when they all broke from a session to go to the bathroom and everything, I walked in, had him sign my book. He's like, I don't remember you being in here. I'm like, because I'm not. And I took the book and left. And I got a picture with him. So I showed him that picture when we were in the green room, like. So I kind of crashed your training four years ago. He was really cool about it, though.

[John Gafford]

Well, here's the thing, though, man. I'm going to take that. Is. Is probably one of the best learning lessons of today, which is so many people that are stuck in life or so many people that are not getting what they want out of life are waiting. Yes, they're waiting for you. Could have been like, man, well, my company doesn't invest in sales training, so I'm not going to get any.

[Brian Galke]

Right.

[John Gafford]

You could have been like, oh, well, I'm just, you know, eventually maybe they'll figure it out. Could have been like, maybe I'll get an email that says, here, try this. Yeah, but no, you were like, this is something I need. This is something I want. I'm going to go out and figure out to get it my damn self. Yeah, right. No one is coming to save you.

[Brian Galke]

Right.

[John Gafford]

You've got to go save yourself. And you've got. Sometimes you got to take chances like that. And it's funny that every high performer that I have that normally comes through has some sort of a story like that where it's like, well, no, I just busted my way in the room from Jesse Itzler buying all the damn croissants one day.

[Brian Galke]

I love that story.

[John Gafford]

Yes. Because. Because he wanted to meet the guy that he wanted to meet. So he bought up everything he was buying all day. Create a shortage in the croissant market or muffin market.

[Brian Galke]

It was.

[John Gafford]

Sorry. It's like that story. I mean, and honestly, you know, in the moment, he probably would have been a little upset that you were skating his sales trading expense. But later, but as you meet him later, it's like, I appreciate the hustle.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah, right. Well, he did. He enjoyed the picture. And we took another one. So I have a picture five years apart of him and I together. And I'm holding his book in both of them and pointing at it. So the hero shot again. Yeah, but it is. And I posted that picture. And what's funny is like, I've bumped into him a few times and he came on, I was in, I'm still in Steve Sims distillery group. And he came on as a guest speaker. And Steve goes, hey, do you know Brian? He's like, oh, yeah, I know Brian. I'm like, he knows me.

[John Gafford]

Yeah.

[Brian Galke]

Because it's funny when you get in the green rooms with people, what I realized is I've always loved speakers. And that was one of the things. When I met my ex wife, she said on her first date, she goes, what do you want to do with your life? So want to get paid to travel the world and teach people something. And speaking allows that. And when. The more time I spent in green rooms, what you realize is a lot of people are introverts, but they Have a message, a message to share with people, and they overcome that to go out on stages. So like, our, our friend Steve, when he got done speaking, you know, he'd have to go hightail it to the bar's hotel room because he was spent. Yeah. And he's a super introvert. Right. But when you see him on stage, he absolutely rocks it because he had a message to share that he wanted to help people with. Yeah, yeah.

[John Gafford]

Love that. Love that. All right, well, Brian, man, if the people want to, if the people want to get in touch with you, how do they find you?

[Brian Galke]

So the easiest way. I'm subtle skills everywhere, but I realize not everybody can spell subtle, so they can't S U B T L E. Subtle, subtle skills.

[John Gafford]

There's no D in it.

[Brian Galke]

No subtle. I know. I tried buying so many of the different S U T T L E.

[John Gafford]

You know, dude, dude, I'm, I'm, I'm such the, I'm such the victim. I, I the proponent of. Sorry. Yeah, I've done that so many times. It's crazy.

[Brian Galke]

Well, that's why. So then I got decode the face.com, make it easy for people to find me.

[John Gafford]

Decode the face. Yeah, Much better. Much.

[Brian Galke]

When I first did the first one.

[John Gafford]

I was like, I'm genius temporaneous peripheral face reading dot com. It's like, wait, what? No, no. Bing. Every time they try to, you know.

[Brian Galke]

It'S right, I go and look up different URLs all the time. And I'm like, okay, is this one available? So people always ask like, brian, how. How can I get your cheat sheet? And I'm like, okay, well, I went, look, get the cheatsheet.com was available. I bought it immediately.

[John Gafford]

I, dude, I do the same thing. I do the same thing. I have like, my wife's like, what are all these URLs for? I'm like, I don't know yet. They were just available. So I bought them.

[Brian Galke]

I've got some old ones. I've got Punish my Liver dot com. Because at one time I thought, okay, I want to buy that and just do happy hour specials. And I've just held onto it for years. I have nothing else with it.

[John Gafford]

Dude, I had one I was so proud of. We're actually launching a new product for our company on Friday. It's a, it's a AI powered hone owner hub that is basically has 90, has every appliance you can possibly have in your house, every refrigerator, every H vac system, every hot water heater, everything. You can possibly have in your house. And all you gotta do is take a picture of it and it'll find the warranty information, the user's manual tell you how to troubleshoot it.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

And if you can't fix it, it'll. It has like, here's your license. People that can fix this for you and your market.

[Brian Galke]

Right.

[John Gafford]

All of that is right here. And it's designed just to be a cool thing for homeowners that, as Realtors, we can give to our homeowners at closing. So it's a good way for us to stay in touch with them in two years from now. Like, hey, man, what's going on? Your fridge, did it break? What's. What's going on? I can do. It's just a good way to stay. Help your clients and stay in front of them. And I was like, cool. So I bought OwnerPad AI.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

I was like, dude, what a cool URL. Yeah. And I was with my buddy Steve Trang last week, the Disruptors podcast in Arizona. And he was like, yeah. And I was like, man, I'm launching this thing next Friday called Owner Pad. He's like, as soon as we got off the air, he's like, bro, Offer Pad is going to sue you if you do that. He's like, you're going to see some assistant. Two seconds. I was like, really? He's like, yeah. I was like, damn it. So now we have Haven Hub, which is coming up.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

But we'll see if it was a mistake because I got H, A, V, N, no E this Haven Hub because I liked it better because it's shorter.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

So hopefully we'll see if that works. But, yeah, I may regret that URL. I don't know. I don't know.

[Brian Galke]

But the best part is you can just always buy another one.

[VRBO Advertiser]

Right?

[John Gafford]

I know, know. I know. My favorite, like, I think my favorite was I bought Realtor because I. I had an app that was essentially. It was before it's time, but we're bringing it back now in a. In a different version.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

So before this is like 10 years ago. So I had it where, like, you could put. At the time, they were Android tablets in a house.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

And then when you walked in, the buyer's agent and the buyer would pick up the tablet, and then you would touch the room you're in, and the agent would give you a tour like they were there.

[Brian Galke]

Oh, okay.

[John Gafford]

It was real tour.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

Like real. Like, real. Yeah.

[Brian Galke]

Absolutely.

[John Gafford]

Love that URL.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

Loved it. So, yeah. But now we're bringing it back because it didn't work because the qr, the tablets were too cumbersome.

[Brian Galke]

Yes.

[John Gafford]

You had to have, you know, hardware to make it work.

[Brian Galke]

Right.

[John Gafford]

But now, thanks to Covid QR code.

[Brian Galke]

Ah. Just put one in every room.

[John Gafford]

Put QR code in every room.

[Brian Galke]

See, that's fantastic. Yeah.

[John Gafford]

Everybody's just got a phone, you know, hardware.

[Brian Galke]

Right.

[John Gafford]

So, yeah, we're bringing it back, relaunching that, which I'm happy about that. So.

[Brian Galke]

So when you're doing that. So let me give you, you tips for the. For that part.

[John Gafford]

Yeah.

[Brian Galke]

When you're talking around the room, you need to do auditory words, visual words, and kinesthetic words.

[John Gafford]

Okay.

[Brian Galke]

So when you're talking to them as you take a look at this room, you know, and you can hear by the da, da, da. And you know, once you. And put in an action word because you want to speak to all the people that are there. So whoever's creating that auditory or that tour, they're going to speak the way that they think. But you're leaving out two thirds of the people if you don't add in words for all three of the things. Things. Does that make sense?

[John Gafford]

No. So what I did. No, it does, but on a different way that you think it just did. Because the way my brain works. I didn't hear that I need to advise people to do this. Yeah, I heard you need to make a GBT that has that programmed into it that you can share with people through the thing so it can write their descriptions for them, that they can read the script.

[Brian Galke]

There you go. Yes, that's perfect.

[John Gafford]

That's what I. That's what I just heard.

[Brian Galke]

That's actually a better way to do it.

[John Gafford]

Yeah. Because if you try. Because now I got to teach people.

[Brian Galke]

Right.

[John Gafford]

They got to learn how to spell those words. Which we've already decided is a really bad angle.

[Brian Galke]

Yes, yes.

[John Gafford]

It's a terrible angle to do that. And so it's just easier to probably train a. Train a bot.

[Brian Galke]

Absolutely. So just in all my marketing, make sure I use auditory, visual, and kinesthetic terms.

[John Gafford]

Yeah.

[Brian Galke]

Because you never know. So, for example, when I do presentation, so if I get hired to do training or speaker, I make the presentation for the person. So let's say it's for you, but let's say you're not the final approval person. So I add in those other two because I don't know who the other decision makers are. And I want to speak to everyone, man.

[John Gafford]

Good stuff.

[Brian Galke]

Yeah.

[John Gafford]

Well, dude, I learned. I thought today was awesome. I learned so much. Again, I. I'm so appreciative for you taking your time to come in today, man. It was great. And dude, listen, we talked about so much today on the podcast and, you know, we talked about you needed to save yourself. And the more skills that you have into the modern economy, especially with AI coming to take your jobs and everything else that's happening, the more soft skills you can develop. And this is an incredible soft skill because it's almost like being able to read people's mind. If you can figure out exactly how to give people the information in a way that they're most apt to receive it, well, you're going to start creating incredible value for people. And people that create incredible value are very rarely stuck in the Drift. We'll see you next time. What's up? What's up, everybody? Thanks for joining us for another episode of Escaping the Drift. Hope you got a bunch out of it, or at least as much as I did out of it. Anyway, if you want to learn more about the show, you can always go over to escaping the drift.com you can join our mailing list. But do me a favor, if you wouldn't mind, throw up that five star review. Give us a share. Do something, man. We're here for you. Hopefully you'll be here for us. But anyway, in the meantime, we will see you at the next episode.