← Escaping the Drift with John Gafford
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- [00:00]
A
Back again. Back again in time for another episode of the podcast of. Like it says in the opening, man gets you from where you are to where you want to be. And today, beaming in all the way from the uk, I've got an incredible guest. This is a guy who has had a couple lives, I guess is an easy way to say it. He was an Abbey Road studio musician. Is that. Yes, that Abbey Road where the Beatles recorded their famous records and. Yeah, you know, had come of. Fell into a trap with alcoholism. Got himself out of that. Got a PhD in psychology from the University of Oxford and has been referred to as the Gordon Ramsay of the addiction world due to his direct style and his use of neuroplasticity to help clients rewire their brain. So if you are somebody that feels like you might be struggling with some stuff and need your brain rewired, this is your guy. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the program. This is. Is Dr. Rob Kelly. Dr. Rob, how are you, man?
- [00:58]
B
Living the dream, sir. Thank you for having me on. This is going to be a good one, guys. Sit down for this.
- [01:04]
A
Living the dream. So let's go back, man. Let's talk about. Let's talk about Abbey Road, because that's fascinating to me. I mean, obviously. So tell me all about that.
- [01:13]
B
So I was born into a musical family. I was on stage at nine years old playing with my auntie and uncle. Always wanted to be a musician. And we always remember we used to have bands and stuff. And the biggest thing about musicians are not famous is you packed like $1,000 back in the day. Thousand dollars of equipment into a $200 car to travel two hours to earn $20. That's what usually is. And one day somebody says, can you fill in for me at a studio? And I said, yeah. Is it a bass track? He said, yep, it was Strawberry Studios, owned by 10cc. So I went down there. I always remember, I sat down, headphones on, there was three pieces of sheet music. I played them all to a click. I was in there for about 30 minutes. I come out and he give me something like £300. And I'm like, oh, there's no way am I tracking all the way down the freeway ever again. So a couple of months later, I saw a ad for bass player for Abbey Road. Session bass player. So I applied for it and got it and the rest is history. I played with Bowie, Queen and John, all them great guys in the day. But yeah, it was good. I kind of hit my peak then. Taking cocaine.
- [02:29]
A
Okay, well, I was going to Say, as a session player, who were the most famous people you played with then? And what years was this Elton John,
- [02:36]
B
back in the 80s be Elton John? Bowie was good. David Bowie or Bowie in this country. And of course, Freddie Mercury was amazing. And I played with some other stuff, sessioned with some other stuff, but they were the three primary musicians I played with. Freddie being the most beautiful person I've ever met in the world, and Elton being the worst person I've ever met in the world.
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A
And one of them is gone and one of them's knighted, so that's right.
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B
Yeah, yeah.
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A
Funny how the world works, I guess. What made Elton John the worst person you've ever met?
- [03:12]
B
It was just very moody. When I remember a session we were doing, middle of the night, one o' clock in the morning, pouring down with rain, lightning striking thunder. And the Abbey Road studios had a generator back in the day that it took a millionth of a second to kick in. Once the electric went off and he'd had enough of it, we all moved to the Savoy Hotel, to his suite back there. And there was girls there, there was me, there were other musicians, his manager. And I heard him screaming out loud from his bedroom and I'm like, what's going on here? So I walked over there and he's on the phone, right? He's on the phone and he's screaming down this phone and he's saying to the general manager that if you don't stop the rain and the wind right now, I will never book into this hotel ever again. And it was right there. And then I realized what crazy industry and lifestyle I had.
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A
You know, it's funny, when the whole Iran thing kicked off not too long ago, one of the funniest, obviously it's not funny, it's a conflict, but this was funny. Somebody was staying at one of the hotels in Dubai and gave them a one star review and it just said, terrible missile defense system for the hotel in Dubai. I thought, that's fair, that's fair. I mean, I don't think they were planning on needing one, but yeah, it was a fair point. So like you just mentioned it, man, that, you know, when you're a musician, especially in those time in the 80s, you know, cocaine's pretty prevalent and. And that's something that. That is. Was it more the booze or was it more that or a combination of the two that kind of gotcha?
- [04:48]
B
Well, I was an alcoholic through and through. That was it. I took cocaine to keep awake at night time during sessions, which was cool. But my. I'm not. I'm not allergic to any drugs. I don't. I can take morphine if I need surgery. It doesn't bother me. But alcohol, that was the one that got me every time. That was the one that stripped everything off me, including children and cars, houses, wives, everything.
- [05:11]
A
How much were you drinking at your worst?
- [05:13]
B
Probably two bottles of the big handle bottle a day. The bottle? Yeah. I'd have to bang half of that before I could get up out of bed.
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A
Oh, my God.
- [05:23]
B
I wasn't drinking to get wasted. I was drinking just to survive. And a lot of people, unless you're an alcoholic on Nobles, they won't understand that saying, but we don't drink because we like it. We drink because it's a disease. And the hypothalamus hijacks the brain and tells me to drink alcohol to survive. So this is what we're known for, this research of changing people's mind to do anything they want to do. But, yeah, I mean, it was a mess. I was never sober. Somebody asked me once, which I couldn't stop laughing at, do you get bad hangovers? And I'm like, what, to have a hangover you've got to stop drinking, surely? I never stopped drinking. I passed out in the nighttime and I came to in the morning and it all started all over again.
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A
And it just was relentless. What was the. What was the rock bottom for you two?
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B
Two things I always say. When my children was taken off me, I was in charge of him for two days. And I'd been on a bend and not been changed diapers or fed food for two days. I need to kill them kids. And the authorities took them off me. And the last thing my daughter said to me 34 years ago was, daddy, daddy, please stop drinking. And then the final night on the streets. I died twice on the streets in Manchester, England. And then pigs brought me back to life again and hated them, them paramedics for that, but they were. They were the two is lowest points where I just didn't want to live, you know, I just wanted to kill myself. But it seemed like I couldn't kill myself. I tried cutting my wrist. I tried jumping off buildings, tying myself to a railroad track, overdosing. And somebody always saved me. It was just comical in the end.
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A
What was the turn? What was the turning point? Like, how did you get. How did you get?
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B
Well, so as an atheist, because I'd been molested as a child from a priest, I was in the back ends of Manchester, where there's Only offices and factories. There's no houses, no traffic, no people. It's around 2 o' clock in the morning. I'm coming off another bender. I dropped down to my highs and knees and I was just crying. I was sobbing. It's pouring down with rain. And I remember looking up to the sky and just saying this. If there's a God up there, I can't do this on my own anymore. Guy walked around the corner 30 seconds later. His name was Derek. He'd Mrs. Las version from a Bible study that he was doing. He'd walked for an hour, took a shortcut he's never taken before, and he came upon me. He took me back to his house, shaved and bathed and ate for the first time. And then he said, you got to come to these AA meetings. I said, I'm not, I've been there. They're terrible. But I had to go because he said, I can't have you drinking. And when I was there, I heard a guy called John who later took me under his wing for 12 weeks, who changed everything about me pertaining to healing people. That person we could never trace. We tried everything, detective agencies, we could never trace him. I went back to his house. He wasn't there. The apartment. The guy next door said I'd never heard of him. Don't know what you're talking about. All this crazy stuff happened and then I came over here. I'm in America now, San Antonio. We came over here 20 years ago and it's just been absolutely amazing. But what John taught me during them 12 weeks, 12 hours we sent, we spent together is what I do today. All this stuff on the wall is for the state. It's for, you know, what I teach and heal today is what John took me through. And we believe that two things, every illness and disease is down to toxicity. What am I toxic in and what am I deficient in? So deficiency toxicity number one. Secondly, we heal from the inside out, whether that be cancer, neurological, PTSD, anxiety, alcoholism, it makes no difference. We have a 98% record with 11,000 patients over the years. So we're kind of the sought after guys. I do a lot of work in Hollywood and with movie stars and musicians and stuff like that. So yeah, that's, that's how we came here and being so aggressive and, and then what happened? As the years went on, we pulled. We found out that the program was teaching for alcoholics and addict worked for average day people. So we've worked with podcasters, CEOs, we've worked the CIA the FBI, the government, or all these people to increase business performance anxiety, all that stuff, it's just completely changing the brain and methylating what we're eating for peak performance.
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A
So when you first stopped drinking though, did you have to do medical detox? I mean, that's a lot of booze. And you went cold turkey like that?
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B
Yeah, I went cold turkey, yeah.
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A
Oh my gosh. So what you do now is very different from the, the 12 step program that you were going to, right, Those meetings or what it was, or, or was this John person teaching you something different around that or.
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B
Yeah, he was teaching something completely different. It wasn't an AA thing. I still, I went to a. For about 10 years. I don't go now. But yeah, it was philosophy. It was about God, it was about healing, it was about vibration, it was all this stuff that we're finding out today. We were teaching 10 years ago and people thought we were crazy. But all of that stuff, you know that the brain, he always talks about changing the brain. And back in the day, and even till 10 years ago, the medical fraternity was adamant that the brain is hardwired. We always knew it wasn't hardwired, that we can manipulate pathways, we can manipulate certain parts of the brain and literally we can do anything that we want to do or achieve in life. And, and the biggest problem we have is people don't believe it until they come here. You know, it's like we all, we're on this pattern that all, all going back to childhood trauma and how he's brought up. We're on that pattern of survival. So if dad was a, a road worker, you'd probably be the same. If dad was a doctor, you'd probably be the same. So we look at the environment that you grew up in, we look at the latest blood works, we take five years medical records back and we can 100% change you. We're the only company in the world to offer you a money back guarantee if we don't succeed.
- [11:23]
A
Well, let's break this into two different categories. First I want to talk about obviously addiction, because I think that's where you got started. And then we'll talk about just success and we'll talk about just changing patterns that people use that are defeat themselves. So when, when somebody comes to you now obviously very different than what you do is what 12 step programs do. So where do you start? With people that have addiction issues? Like where do you start?
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B
We do something that nobody else does and that is we don't just take a phone Call asking, do we take insurance? And we go, yes, we do. What you know, you have to pass an assessment to get into the place, first of all, and the assessment is pretty straight. We want to know if you will do anything in the world to recover from addiction and alcoholism. What a lot of people don't know is alcoholics are, are born and drug addicts are made. So the intricacy of alcoholism is disease. The addiction with drugs is the addictive personality. These research and records are on file. So once they pass the assessment, we go back, we clear all the childhood trauma. We have tools like Breathbox Studio, we have neuroscience, we have brain spotting, we have all these great things that we do and we take you through a 90 day period of one hour a day. Now you can do this anywhere in the world. We're 95% telehealth and we change your thinking, change your behavior, because alcohol, this is the crazy part of all of this. Alcohol has 1% to do with alcoholism. Same with drugs, same with sex, porn, food. It's only 1% of what's going on. I never had a drinking problem. What I had was a thinking problem. My brain reacted differently pertaining to the childhood trauma that I'd been through than other people. So three parts of the brain in alcoholics are different to any other addiction. That's the hypothalamus, basal ganglia, and the amygdala. So the hypothalamus is part of the brain from birth. That tells us if you don't eat food and drink water, you're going to die. It's a survival part of the brain. We do it without thinking, we have to or we die. We know that at a certain point with alcoholics only, not he's an alcoholic or she's no proper alcoholic only, that's hereditary, has been passed down. What happens is a hypothalamus hijacks the brain and tells the alcoholic to drink alcohol to survive. That's why we can go days or weeks without food or water. And once that clicks over to full blown alcoholism, nothing, but nothing can stop you. You can't just stop unless you have some kind of medical or spiritual awakening or something, you will go on to die.
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A
So real quick though. So how hard is that question then when you ask people, are you willing to do anything to stop drinking?
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B
Well, by the assessment, which we go by very strict assessment, it's usually yes. By the time you sit in front of me, I don't care what I have to do, I'll do it. Because that's a good start. So the assessment weeds people out. It weeds mum and dads with big checkbooks out. We often turn million dollar contracts down because the kid isn't ready or the wife isn't ready. We're not going to do that. I don't play that game. Me and you could get on the Phone now to 20 treatment centers and the first question we're going to ask you is do you have insurance?
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A
Insurance?
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B
We don't do that here. Can you come in and pass an assessment? That's it. So we're very serious about. Everybody works for me. In all five offices around the world are recovered alcoholics, addicts, depression, all that stuff. Recovered from that stuff. So by the time we sit in front of them, they know that we're being serious and we fire people. We fired more musicians, household musicians. Who, who do you know who I am and you can't do this to me. And we go really get back on the plane and leave. We don't play that. I don't either. So don't, don't try and bully me. I'm not one of your yes guys. That's why the Gordon Ramsay, Gordon Ramsey, a friend of mine, he was my best man at the wedding. That's where I got the nickname Gordon Ramsey of addiction. Because addiction is a no nonsense deal. There's too many people dying on a daily basis from lack of knowledge of what's going on. So that's what we do. We, we're known for being aggressive. We don't take any, any crap of anybody. You do it our way, you recover, you'll go on and you'll, you'll be a success, whatever that looks like for you. But if you miss check ins, if you miss an appointment, if you don't do the strict homework we send you, I will fire you. There's no refunds. So you get back on your plane, you leave. And you know, that's just the way I run things today. I'm sick of, sick of trying to please people, trying, you know, my first movie star work with. He told me how we're going to do things and I was like okay. You know, a couple of hours later I was like no, I can't do this. So we put him back in the plane and say mom. And he was furious. Man, I nearly got, I nearly got kicked out of Hollywood completely with that. But you know, that is what it is.
- [16:17]
A
Well, it's, it's interesting now that if you look at kids today are not drinking as much. The new, the new generations Gen X is not drinking as much as previous generations. What? But, but, but I think, I think addictive personalities are going to find something. So what are you seeing that would you say is like the biggest risk the next generation to get addicted to?
- [16:39]
B
Well, it's been around for years and years, but it's, it's phones, it's iPads, it's TikToks. I mean if you want to, if you want to lose three hours of your day, jump on TikTok for five minutes because before you know it, three hours is gone and that is it. They've got no social skills, the kids today. They don't know how to communicate, is not on a phone or you know, it's just like, it's crazy. But that's the big addiction. We do lots of experiments and lots of stuff, trials and tests around that. We spent about $1.8 million on research and everything we talk about. But yeah, that, that's the big one. The social media, where it will end, who knows.
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A
So what, what should parents do? Because obviously, you know, I got two kids, one of them's 18, one I'm 16. And we try to, you know, you do the best you can with trying to limit it, but you never, you never know what's, if it's, if it's enough. And I think, you know, everywhere you look anymore, like you see a couple sitting, I saw a couple sitting at dinner the other day and both of them are sitting there at dinner with each other like this.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And I'm like, I look at my wife, I go, that's crazy. I mean, yeah, I, how do you, I mean obviously there's times when I find myself quote unquote, doom scrolling and you're just like, gotta get off and ah. And I like, literally I will throw my phone across the room because I'm like, I gotta get away from that thing. Like just what am I doing? How do you, how do you manage that? How do you rewire your brain? I mean that dopamine hit so fast, leads to overeating, leads to just everything where you look for your life as that quick dopamine to fix. How do you help people in that situation? Or, or what advice do you give?
- [18:10]
B
It's boundaries and, and self care is what it comes down to. So man and wife comes to us. When you go home, 6pm till 8pm, no phone. Check your emails before you go to bed. Fine. When you wake up in the morning, no phone. You get dressed, you get showered, you have your breakfast, you can have your Phone back at nighttime you go six o', clock, it's gone. You know, we start on that, but I can tell you now. So we, we wired people up and we tested the anxiety and the rush of dopamine pertaining to the, to the phones. And it's crazy. Like if you do two hours or you go out for a restaurant, you leave the phones at the front or in the car locked up. It's crazy out of how human behavior has gone, you know, I studied my two PhDs, Psychology and Behavioral science and I studied chimpanzees and primates for a year at the zoo. I hated my professor for that. But what you see is breaking down of human connection. It's all done through the phone. So you have to have boundaries, you know, or I've got to get my emails. Well, you need another job. Unless you're running your own company, earning a million dollars a year, you don't need your phone 24 hours. And even then the 6 till 8 and in the morning has to come into fruition. Otherwise, you know, you're not, you're not going to be you. You're never going to get to the potential we see all the time. People going to concerts and the film in the concert on the phone. So they've got a record of it, but they've not got the record of the live performance because they were never there to feel all that kids texting over the dinner table. I mean can you not just say hi or speak to wide like you said? People, you've got to stop, you've got to start putting these boundaries in place because it is an addiction and it is taking over your life and ruining life for what it is. Life is too short, man. You know, people think we've got 80s too short to be stuck on a phone talking in this world. Got a patient in the other day. Hey, Dr. Rob, I've got 5,000 friends. Really? Where? On Facebook. I got to tell you man, you just plugged into the wall. That's all you are. You may go 5000 nothings you're plugged into on it's fantasy. We need to start back getting back to the old game, back to reality and just giving time to the phone, but more time to real life because this is where it is today. It's not tomorrow, it's not on your phone, it's not yesterday, it's right here today.
- [20:37]
A
Yeah, I think we're starting to see a little bit of a pushback of people are kind of sick of the perfection and the perfect lives that are being projected through posts on all of, on all of this. You know, the social media platforms, they're crazy. You know, it's so funny because forever influencers, like, well, if you want to, if you want to build a big following, got to be authentic. You got to be authentic. But then they're not authentic. They're only showing the highlight reel, right? Nobody's showing, you know, the days when they're, they're not having a good day. And I think people are craving that connection and craving that authenticity. And I think you're going to see that coming back more and more. I would love it if there was a total kind of backlash into social media because, you know, like, for my business, it's a must. It's like we have to do this to stay relevant. And it's, it's, it's a chore. There's no joy in 90% of what you post. I mean, I love doing my, I love doing this podcast because I get to meet interesting people and, and this is my education time, right? I have people on that I think I can learn something from. And so this is kind of my time that I end up just sharing with others. But the daily dribble of like, oh, I gotta make a post is just exhausting. You know, it's like, oh, I gotta have a team that posts this stuff. It's like, it's just. And, and I think everybody's a little tired of the polished world that is being projected through that and they're craving just normalcy, I think.
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B
I. We did, we did some tests and research around this and we wanted to know, can we hit someone being authentic despite their position in life or career? So we brought 10 people into our main room. They were told to come in $100 in cash, drink your coffee, stay for an hour, then leave. There'd be other people chat to and leave. Wired them up again and they went in the first 10 minutes. When a road sweeper started chatting to a surgeon, he had very little to talk about. But as the time went on, because nobody knew any other job now to mention the jobs. But when a road sweeper, 50 minutes in spoke to a surgeon and they were both being authentic, the scale rocketed to 100%. So authenticity is the new iPhone. Authenticity is a new social media. Because being authentic with another, it doesn't matter what you do or where you go or what you do for a living, it makes no difference. We break down them social barriers because we're being authentic with one another.
- [23:04]
A
You know, it's funny. Well, it's funny you say that about, about, you know, not knowing what the other person does. But I think one of the best pieces of advice I've seen, and oddly enough, I did get it from a post somewhere where it was a former CIA profiler and he was like, listen, you know, if you want to get to the root of every person that you meet in the conversation, ask yourself one question while you're having your first three minutes of interaction, which is, what is it that this person wants me to see about them? What is it that they want me to see? And if you can get past, like, okay, whatever it is they're trying to project, I'm just not even going to go there. I'm going to, I'm going to deflect that and try to find something else. You can get to the, meet the meat of it with people very quickly. And I love that advice. I love that advice. Something you said earlier, I thought was interesting because obviously, you know, we talk about addiction, we talk about those things, but you threw out the, the brain could be, the brain could be rewired, reprogrammed to solve things like depression is what you could say. So I, I, you said that, and I wanted to get to it later, so let's get to it now. So I, I am a person that I would say, you know, I've been pretty forthright with it. I, I suffer, or I think I suffer from something that I would call seasonal depression, which, you know, certain times of the year for no reason. I just, my wife calls it the funk. Right? Where you're just like, oh, man, I just feel a little down in those times. I just, you know, I put, I, I understand what's happening. So I just kind of push myself through it by getting, you know, I'm going to get one thing that's really important done today, and then tomorrow I'm going to keep that ball rolling and I just kind of get myself out of it. So, so what says Dr. Rob about this?
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B
Seasonal depression is real. It doesn't have to be real, but it is. Depression is real. For those people who don't know what depression looks like, it looks like this. Hey, buddy, how you doing? Great to see you. I'm doing great. That's what depression looks like. So when we look at the medical dictionary, medical dictionary in the usa, we look up depression. It says one, it said a couple of things, and one of them is lack of serotonin. So what happens in normal families? Probably that husband comes home, a wifey. I'M depressed. And she goes, you gotta go see your doctor. I go see the doctor before I finish speaking, he's writing a prescription out already for an SSRI or ssri. And what happens is I go and take them pills and I feel slightly better. Let's roll that back. He's giving me a medication that now I'm stuck on for the rest of my life. It highs my serotonin, but not in a natural cause and never as high as a natural cause. So what seems to happen is we take the medication and it blocks us out and our own serotonin cannot get higher than where it is. So I'm stuck on what the pill is giving me. Unlike any pill that we take, we have to increase over the time or add another pill to it to make it work. The question I ask everybody is why are we not asking ourselves first why my serotonin is low in the first place? But we don't do that. But that's the first step. Depression, ptsd, all the psych stuff can be cured. We cure addiction, we cure depression. This is where the money back guarantee comes in. Have nobody else dare say this, but no one else has got as much time as I have with 11,000 pays as a sole doctor working in a practice nobody else has. So when we study the stuff that the pharmaceutical and the medical fraternity doesn't want us to study, you're going to get. We get backlash all of the time of people trying to discredit us. And we've got to a point now, hey, I don't give a first of all what you think about me or my research. Don't care. Look at my life. It's probably a lot better than yours. So nobody as good as you or better is ever going to negatively comment on anything that you do, guys. So the haters will come out when you want to move in a different direction. But our research and our patients show that this can be cured. And we're being told it can't be cured. The only thing we can't cure is alcoholism because we're born this way. But any other, any other addiction or psych ailment we can cure. You know, we've proven it time and time again. But we're on this mentality that whatever the doctor tells us is okay. And when on this mentality that when we go to the local store, the stuff we do there is going to be good for us. 90% of stuff in your local supermarkets killing you if you're picking up a health. We did a live TV Thing. About six months ago, we walked into the local store here, huge store. We saw this bar and it says, nine grams of protein, zero fat. Oh, my goodness, I'm having some of that for me, my family. I turned it round. There was not only 32 ingredients in there, but the first ingredient was canola oil. The killing goes. We can't methylate any kind of rancid oil. And all the other gmo, the stuff they put in, which causes depression, which causes the illness, and. And it's just like a rolling machine. And people who want to do different in life stop and go, hang on a sec. I'm not buying into this anymore. I'm really not buying into it. I'm going to look after myself. I'm going to look after my body and brain. I'm going to go and seek people that don't automatically put me on meds. Now, I'm not talking about heart disease and stuff like that, sure. I'm talking about psych. We just need to start questioning the world and questioning ourselves, because you can be. Most people walk around 45 to 55%, if they're lucky, of capability and capacity of what they can be. That's all.
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A
Why do you think that is? Why do you think that is?
- [28:32]
B
Yeah, it's upbringing. You know, I got told, don't be so stupid, Robert. You can't go to college like your brother. You're too stupid. I got told that you can't be a footballer, you can't be famous. How can you be famous, Rob? You come from the projects and the counselors. How can. All my life, man. And he got one day. And I went, I'm not doing this anymore. And I came over to America 20 years ago, and in the first year, I did my first million dollars. Within my first three years, I was on a program that had 19 million viewers on the doctors. So I was sick of being told this stuff when it's not true. Because here's my deal, guys. Out there, I would hate for you to get to the age of 60 or 70 or 80, look back on your life and realize two major things. First of all, there was nobody watching you. And secondly, you really could have done anything you wanted to do. But we base it on our childhood trauma. We get that contract, we get that job, we get that opportunity. And all of a sudden, Dad's voice and subconscious says, you're a piece of shit. You'll never amount to anything. You're an imposter. Don't try all that stuff that normal people suffer from. And they self sabotage that opportunity sometimes without even knowing about it. And we never climb. Unless you have severe brain damage. I tell people, you can be. You want to be a CEO, you want to earn $10 million, you want to be famous, you want your podcast, you want your kids back. All of this is possible because it's what's in here, not what's out there. You know, out there, all the opportunities are out there, all the accidents, all the opportunities. But if I'm concentrating with my brain on what I receive and what I expect, which is great things every single day, well, that's what's going to happen. This is layman terms. If I'm focusing on the bad stuff, that's what's going to happen. Because the brain doesn't know the difference between the truth and the false, guys. Yeah, it doesn't, you know, it doesn't know the difference. And we want to hedge ourselves on past behavior. So we got a thousand fleas on this experiment, and we stuck them in a big mason jar, we punctured the hole, and we left them in there for three days. After three days, well, fleas can jump two or three, four foot in the air. We took the cap off. Not one flea in that jar jumped higher than where the cap was. Makes sense. When we left it and they had babies in that jar, the babies wouldn't jump higher than where the cat was. They'd never even seen the cat. That's what we do in life.
- [31:03]
A
So obviously that's. If we had to break this down like a computer and programming, right, that would be the software, that would be your programming that you got, you know, the limiting beliefs that you project onto yourself and how you frame things. So, but you mentioned like low serotonin on one, which I would consider that a hardware issue. So if we had to look at, I mean, obviously, I don't know if you can simplify this to this level, but in most cases, if you had to say what percentage of this is hardware issues and what percentage of this
- [31:29]
B
is software issues, I would go like 50, 50 maybe. You know, I mean, everybody is singular. Everybody is different. Everybody's different. Every blood cell, all this stuff is different. So you have to kind of, you know, trial and, and error this, this deal personally on everybody. But it's all fixable. Guys, if, okay, let's go back to
- [31:52]
A
the hardware, then let's say that my serotonin levels are low. So what are some techniques you do to raise those serotonin levels?
- [31:58]
B
So you can Google this, guys, it's it's pretty, it's pretty common. The medical fraternity won't tell you because you know they don't. You can't give you pills, so you're not a good client for them, is get some more sunshine, go out in the park. Or if you have a nice garden or yard with grass, stand in the grass barefoot for it. You know, cold grounding, sunshine, eat better, drink plenty of water, socialize. Socialize is very important. Don't isolate. The quickest way to get somebody into insanity is to isolate them and take their identity away from them. And we see this a lot with people retiring or divorces and stuff where the woman doesn't have any identity anymore. So there's certain things that you can do which will raise your serotonin, but then it also links to the childhood trauma in the subconscious. So if you haven't uncovered, discovered and discarded of that trauma, you will always have depression.
- [32:54]
A
I'm a super fan of like the shadow self philosophy. I, I love all of that stuff which does come from that childhood programming that you got. You know, when people start down the journey, I. Obviously you'd probably try to attack this all at once. I'm guessing, you guys, the step one is going to be that childhood trauma I'm guessing is trying to deal with that.
- [33:17]
B
Yeah.
- [33:18]
A
So what are some, what are some things that you guys do in treatment to address that? Is it verbalizing it, is it role playing it out? What do you guys do?
- [33:26]
B
So we have software. Breathbox Studio is a company of mine and it rewires through vibration sounds and subliminal message, and it rewires the brain away from self sabotage. We have 97 programs. That's the big one we use. And then we use brain spotting to go back and uncover, discover, discard of subconscious memories, not conscious memories. So when people finish a session here of brain spotting, they're coming out with stuff they didn't even remember and all of a sudden it'll click and oh, I never got molested by my dad. Oh my God, oh my God. All that stuff that's hidden, we bring it out. Talk therapy, behavioral therapy. You know, we watch what you're doing where you going. We're monitoring you 24 hours a day to watch behavior. And then we're just clearing all, we're pulling it all out day by day as come here. Now, you'll never be trauma free. There's always some kind of trauma going on, but it frees you up. And once it starts, once you start coming out, the conscious brain, not the subconscious brain, which 90% of people do, your life changes completely, completely changes. But if you leave, like if you've ever seen a deer being hit by a car but not being killed, it does a couple of amazing miraculous things. First of all, it'll lay still on the floor for one or two seconds, then it stands up. Then what happens next is miraculous. It shakes violently for a couple of seconds and runs on that deer. Is to shock all that trauma. The next day it might be the same car, same time. We don't know. Human beings don't do that. They stuff it down and stuff it down and stuff it down. And it's all stored in the subconscious brain. And every time the subconscious brain is a nasty piece of work, it'll release them thought patterns or them sayings on that trauma from the past, at most inappropriate time. When you're dating that girl, asking for that job, whatever it is that release and you go right down.
- [35:18]
A
Do you find that people, once they go through these processes and they can drop this stuff off, they tend to that like that's it. Like you can, it's like a release or emptying the bucket, if you will.
- [35:28]
B
Oh, 100%. Yeah. That's why the Breathbox studio has created. Get rid of all of that. Get rid of it. Feel lighter, feel better. We build your confidence up, we start your business, get you a job, whatever it is you need. Once you start, you know, coming out of that trauma based subconscious thinking and letting that stuff go.
- [35:48]
A
So I mean, everybody's got, got stuff, right? Everybody's got some issues. I think that's just got, that's part of being people. But, but obviously the ones that are, that are on the forefront that are going to really damage you are the addiction things. And I think it's funny, man, I see the people closest to people with serious problems are normally the ones that are in the most denial about seeing it or, or they don't want to see it or they can't. So if you're like, what are some things people should look for in their loved ones or your kids that might cause some pause for you?
- [36:20]
B
If your kid is staying in his bedroom, not coming out for dinner, if he's going to school unkempt, if there's times where he just goes missing, go search his bedroom. And most apparent, oh, I can't search his bedroom. He's like 12 years old. Well, if you don't, there's a possibility you'll find him dead in there. So let's get real. Okay, go in there searching husband's coming home, always in mood, always depressed, drinking. You know what, whatever an alcoholic or heavy drinker tells you they drank, quadruple it. That's why he's drinking.
- [36:49]
A
Oh, wow.
- [36:49]
B
You know, and you've got to realize that a, you cannot, you cannot assist, you cannot enable these guys. There's a fine line. We are very strict about this when we're couple. So when we take the alcoholic, let's say it's a guy for seven days a week, the woman needs to come on for two days a week to sort her trauma out. Not his, her trauma. Because she. When we did some experiments of soldiers coming back from Afghanistan who'd seen action and housewives in violent alcoholic houses, the PTSD levels were exactly the same. So you have to look at this with an open scan and go, okay, how do we fix. How do you see what's going on, what's happening in the house? Because if we don't, then the whole family breaks down. It's a bit like if you have two houses together. So recovery of any kind as its own language. So let's say there's two houses. This guy here, we pick him out of. Let's say the house speaks Chinese and we stick him into our place and we, we teach him a different language. Let's say it's English. We keep him for 90 days, we pick him back up and stick him back in the house. A couple of days later, he's speaking Chinese just the way it is, mirroring part of the brain. So I would pick this guy up here and teach him. We have to teach the family as well to on the same level understand what we're going through because, oh, but I love him. I'm going to change him. It has never, ever worked out, guys, with that, and I hear it time and time again. The person will only change on two things. One, if he realizes what he's going through and two, if he's ready. And until that time, you can enable as much as you want and make excuses and stuff like that for the guy or the girl, that you're going to get better and it'll be okay. And it wasn't that bad. It's always that bad. And if you've got kids involved and he raises his hands to his kids, if you stay in that relationship, you are dead to me. You get your kids and you get out of that relationship straight away. I don't care if it's your house, get the police. Till we move in, that relationship is dead. Never go back. You can never go Back, guys, it's
- [38:47]
A
got to be over in that minute.
- [38:49]
B
It's gotta be.
- [38:50]
A
Speaking of being over, you know, obviously, I know you've been on stage with, like, Gary Breck and stuff, and. And that's an alternative thought to medicine. And I subscribe to a lot of stuff like Gary does. I mean, we have the Ewot machine, we have the grounding mats, we have the red light. We have all of that stuff. My wife feeds me more supplements and peptides than I. You know, she wants me to live forever, and that's how the world works. But, you know, obviously there's a lot of mainstream. There's their mainstream medical practices that attack a lot of what he says. When's the time? Tell me about a time in your career when you got attacked by mainstream, you know, mainstream the medical world where you thought, oh, man, this might be really bad. Was there a time when you were like, whoa, this might not be good?
- [39:33]
B
Oh, yeah, when I first came over here. So we've got to realize that the third leading cause of death in the US Is the medical fraternity. Let's get that on the table before we go. Go Google it, guys. So when I came over here, we're open to practice and. And, you know, we're teaching or we're healing. And then the Texas Psychology Board came to us and said that I was teaching woo woo and harming people in this. Strip me on my license. And I was like, oh, I have two choices. I go back to them with cap in hand and say, I'll never teach again. I'll stick. Or we fight it, get it back, and I'll carry on. And we fought it and got it back. But the crazy thing is, I lecture to those guys today. So that was the only time when I thought, oops, you know, how long was your license?
- [40:16]
A
God, how long was it gone?
- [40:18]
B
Seven months.
- [40:19]
A
Oh, wow.
- [40:20]
B
Yeah. So seven months of not working. So, yeah, they did. They did a lot of damage to me. There are still some people that try. I'm down to three haters, which is awesome. The rest of them get employed, but
- [40:35]
A
I'll take as many haters. I'll take as many haters as I can get.
- [40:38]
B
Right. Don't you love the Cat Williams deal when he. Yeah, I. I love him, man. I was invited to speak on a national program some years ago with the company called Purdue, who. Who does all the nasty drugs. And we went head to head, the CEO and the attorney, and they were telling him, don't go on with Dr. Robbie's. He sent is nasty when he, you know, he knows his stuff. And we went on and we had it out and it was very embarrassing for them. And the next day they filed for bankruptcy. Now, I know there was probably a billion things, other things happening, but, yeah, you got to stand up, guys, and you've got to do what you do best. And don't take any notice of people that says you can't do it. I have a saying for you when they say that. Says who? That's it. Says who's making the rules. Well, you can't do that. You can't have a great marriage. You can't be. Says who? I don't like the rules. I'll change.
- [41:28]
A
Why not? Why not?
- [41:30]
B
Yeah.
- [41:30]
A
Speaking of Sassoon, what's your favorite. What is your favorite story from helping somebody that may or may not be famous? And you don't have to name them, but I'm just. What's your favorite story if you had to pick one?
- [41:42]
B
So we picked this guy up from county jail in la, and he was looking at five years inside. And one of the agents said, we have this Dr. Judge and he's doing miraculous things. So they flew us out. We had no idea who was. We sat in a side room at court and they brought this guy in handcuffs and feet cuffs in an orange suit. And he sat down and instantly recognized him. He's going through some bad times and his movies weren't doing so great. And we started in front of the judge and the Judge says, hey, Dr. Kelly, here's the deal. I'm going to release this guy to you, but if he goes missing because he was known for doing a runner, you'll be back in my courtroom. And I said, I'm not doing that deal, Judge. I'm not doing it unless you give us permission to handcuff him right here and take him with us. We're not doing that. I'm not taking that responsibility. And they all agreed and signed contracts and legal documents and we handcuffed him. We took him back. And I used to have a ranch in Dallas, so we'd helicopter him into there and we. And we'd stay with him for three months and two weeks before he was left. Because we were also subliminally, all the time convincing him that he was going to, you know, be the highest paid movie star in the world again. And two weeks before he left the gate bell went. And the shelf went down. Pick it up, brought it to the door. Give it to me. I handed it to this guy. He opened it and it was a script for Blank right there in my living room. And he's a great guy and we still speak, and he's just an amazing person.
- [43:12]
A
I have a guess just on the orange jumpsuit visual. I have a guess on who that is because I remember seeing a photograph with an orange jumpsuit that I remember seeing. So I have a guess on that. I have a guess on the script. We'll talk about it off camera, but as we go from there. But I have a guess on that one, man. So one last question. I'm just curious to this because obviously you're credibly good at what you do, which is the easy answer, right? That's the easy answer. But how do you build a business that becomes so intertwined with Hollywood with a list celebrities with that world? How do you build a business where you become in that could be any business, but how do you build a business where you're. That you're the go to guy to that world? How do you do it?
- [43:59]
B
Well, I've got to give my, my deal to Gary Brighton because, oh, my goodness, I'm so sorry. To Gary Brecker. Gary Breaker was the first person that introduced me. I went down there. There's actually a video around. He calls me a, a physician miracle worker and you know, one of the best in the industry and 100 record. And I got a couple of calls from Hollywood and then, and then I became their go to guide. So Hollywood and New York, my name is still quietly done for the right people, but that's how I did it. And you know, it's six figures a month to come here, so it's very expensive. But we have assigned scales. We have nonprofit. We do. Everybody has to carry pro bono and we give our farm money away. So we pay for people to come in as well. It's not just that, but yeah, it takes off from there. It's kind of word of mouth. So you kind of get one shot at this. But I'm always, I'm just me. I don't like whining and dining. I got a phone call once from a very good friend of mine, his brother owns the Dallas Mavericks or did. And we're chatting away and he calls me and he said, hey, my brothers, you know, there's a game tonight. He's having a few important people around. Do you want to come over? And I said, mark's having a do. And he went, yeah. And I was like, wow, I've never watched basketball. And I just not into it. So can you give my place to somebody else. And I put the phone down and my wife was over me and she was scowling at me. You just to turn, Are you kidding me? Do you know who's going to be in that room? I said, doesn't make any difference. You know, I don't like basketball. I'm not going. And you know crazy. That guy from Starbucks called me once, said we have a new player. I'm like, what's he talking about? And I'm listening to him and he's breaking up and I'm like, he's got this guy called Manziel who's Manzel, college player.
- [45:59]
A
Yeah.
- [45:59]
B
But he put the phone down. I thought he was crazy. And I explained to Janet, my wife, what it was. And he told me that was Roger Starbuck that I called. I thought it was some guy in Starbucks having a coffee or something. Yeah, there's a hundred story. I don't do the moozing and smoozing. I just, I don't know man. I've never done it. It cringes me. It's just like here we are. We do what we do. If you don't like us, I don't care.
- [46:26]
A
And that's it. Well, Dr. Rob, if they want to find your connection with you a little more, how do they find you?
- [46:32]
B
So if you're listening, not watching guys, I spell my name with two Bs. R O B-B. K-E-L-O-Y.com. jump on there. We're on all the social medias plastered to that website. Look at a thing called Breathbox Studio. That's the, that's the software that's up there. It's amazing you can do it online. Yeah, just say hi guys, a couple of things I'd love to do if you're in America, guys. There's a great book out there called Daddy Daddy, Please stop drinking. I'm not here to promote that. I'm here to give that away free. So let's get 10 copies going. If you, if you jump on it looks something like that. So jump on, contact us, we'll send you, we'll sign it, we'll send it you. And the last thing I'll say is if you're that guy that we were just talking about, that guy that the wife and kids have left you, you're sat in a one bedroom apartment, you're broken down, you've got no other way to go and you're thinking of doing something permanent. 214-600-0210 is my personal cell phone number. Text me and here's what's going to happen. This is why I differ from everybody else. Text me, don't call. I'm too busy. I'll text you back and I'll arrange a 20 minute talk between me and you that will save your life. If it doesn't and you don't feel great after finishing the phone call with me, I'll send you a hundred dollars. The premise behind that is that I would rather give 20 minutes of my time to you than hear of your suicide next week.
- [48:03]
A
Amen, brother. Amen. Well, Dr. Rob, I appreciate it so much. This was awesome, man. This was great. And listen, check out Breathbox. Get the book, save that number if you need, or give it to somebody in need. There's a lot of things. But listen, if you listen to this today, the one thing I want, I want you to take away from it is no problem is permanent. No problem is unsolvable. The key to solving your problems is normally unlocking something in your. In yourself. And there's no shame or there's no judgment in finding someone to help you do that. We'll see you next week.