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- [00:00]
Advertiser
They say opposites attract. That's why the Sleep number Smart bed is the best bed for couples. You can each choose what's right for you whenever you like. You like a bed that feels firm, but they want soft. Sleep number does that. You want to sleep cooler while they like to feel warm. Sleep number does that too. Why choose a Sleep number smart bed so you can choose your ideal comfort on either side. And now it's the lowest price of the season on the top selling i8 smart bed your best savings plus special financing limited time shop a sleep number store near you. See store or sleepnumber.com for details. Over the last 75 years, over 10,000 chemicals have been introduced to our food supply, yet the EU only allows 300 food additives. But at Thrive Market, we bring our members the highest quality brands and restrict more than 1,000 ingredients found at conventional grocery stores. Making the switch is easy with our Healthy Swaps scanner, which finds better versions of all your favorite pantry, snacking and home essentials without the added junk dyes and fillers. Plus, it's all delivered straight to your door. So if you're looking to shop at a grocery store that actually cares about your health, go to thrivemarket.com podcast and you'll get 30% off your first order and a free gift.
- [01:26]
Kim France
Hi and welcome to Everything Is Fine, a podcast for women over 40. We are your hosts. I'm Kim France.
- [01:33]
Jen Romolini
And I'm Jen Romolini.
- [01:35]
Kim France
And I've got it so barely together today that I almost forgot my line just then.
- [01:42]
Jen Romolini
I mean, what do you expect? We're living in, like, some sort of post situation. Like, we're living in an aftermath already. We're already at the beginning of an aftermath.
- [01:53]
Kim France
No, it's really true. It's really true. And I'm finding that I want to figure out a way over the next four years to both completely ignore the news and become politically involved. I'm not sure how that's going to look, but that's what I want to do.
- [02:12]
Jen Romolini
I too feel the same ways. So I will tell you what I've been doing.
- [02:16]
Kim France
I want to hear.
- [02:17]
Jen Romolini
I subscribed to my local paper, to the print edition of my local paper, which is the Los Angeles Times. I am learning so much about gentrification and about, like, school boards and all of these things. I'm reading it every morning. I'm putting aside a half hour instead of looking at my phone to read local news. I also, and this might not be everybody's alignment, but I joined a Zoom last week for or MoveOn.org and working families had a zoom about all of these different volunteer opportunities and all these ways to get involved. So I'm both. I'm not reading news on my phone anymore, which I think is clutch. Because if you read news like the day in the paper, like there's one time a day that you've checked out the news and it also has a variety of news, you know, like, it's like, oh, here, like this, this. I forgot. The paper has like a horoscope in it and comics and the nation's weather. Like, I was like, this is so old timey. So those are the things that I've started doing. I don't know yet where my political action's gonna be, but I did re up my ACLU donation.
- [03:34]
Kim France
Ah, that's a good one. A reader got in touch with me who works down in Texas for an organization that works to elect women in Texas to see if I wanted to get involved with them in some way or help them. And I was like, that's kind of perfect.
- [03:51]
Jen Romolini
Yes, that is. That is perfect. That's the thing. That's what Jen was talking about last week. Like, what interests you, what works for you, where. Where can you be useful? But for me, I. I really fucked myself up in the last, in the last like couple of months. I was like, okay, let me just tell you, like, I was just ingesting news from all sides at all times. But honestly, only liberal. I was in the worst liberal bubble I've ever been in, ever, ever in my life. Like worse than Hillary even, like Hillary times. Like, but I was listening to podcasts constantly looking at like poli sci TikTok constantly, like until. Until my phone would fall on my face like, because I fell asleep with it like that, you know, like just non stop stop checking and like vigilance. And my hair has started falling out again. I started having really bad stomach issues. My ingestion of gummies over the past couple of months, like, has made me so foggy headed. I've felt like I have early dementia. Like I need to change, like I need to clean up the house here before I can be useful to other people. So that's like what. That's where I'm kind of at right now.
- [05:05]
Kim France
Yeah, I get that. I get that. I think that's good thinking.
- [05:09]
Jen Romolini
I don't know. One thing that I've been thinking about, and this is probably controversial, it's just like, I really feel like I really. And the country, the country told us this. I just really Feel like I was just like, no, you fucking Trump supporters. I'll never fucking even listen to you. Look at you want to have anything to do with you. You are banished from my life. And it was like, that meant that, like, anybody who was even, like, libertarian, people who were like, in my life, who were coming to me with, like, RFK junior View, I was just like, what the fuck are you talking about? Ew. And that doesn't get us anywhere, as it turns out.
- [05:45]
Kim France
No, it doesn't.
- [05:46]
Jen Romolini
I could have at least listened. I didn't have to agree.
- [05:49]
Kim France
Yeah, no, I get it. But easier said than done at the same time, too.
- [05:55]
Jen Romolini
Yeah. Your hair looks really good today. And so does your lipstick.
- [05:58]
Kim France
You know, my hair looks. Thank you. My hair looks really good today because I'm going to the salon today, as is always the case.
- [06:04]
Jen Romolini
Yeah.
- [06:04]
Kim France
Yeah, it does. And the lip color is this brand called Sisley, which I bought when I was in Amsterdam because it's this. They make this. It's called, like, Sisley twist up lip something. And it costs more here than it does in Europe, so I always buy it when I'm there. But it's a really good color.
- [06:24]
Jen Romolini
That's smart. Oh, I found a new lipstick this week that I'm really into that I'm wearing right now, which is, you know that line rms?
- [06:32]
Kim France
Yep.
- [06:33]
Jen Romolini
It's just this, like. It's just this very. It's just their basic lip color. I forget what it's called, but it's. I really am into it. It's like, goes on really nice. It's kind of like on matte, but it's not too drying, and the pigment is really good.
- [06:46]
Kim France
Yeah, it looks good.
- [06:47]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, I'm into it. It's a new one. And I had really been like, bummed out about all my lipstick options now sometimes you just, like, look through everything. You're like, I have so much shit and I hate it all.
- [06:56]
Kim France
Yes, I do. I used to feel. When I wrote about music, I used to feel that way about my CD collection all the time. Like, I wish I could just.
- [07:03]
Jen Romolini
Yes.
- [07:04]
Kim France
And I, you know, frequently feel that way about my closet.
- [07:07]
Jen Romolini
Yes, I do, too. I do, too. And then I'll buy something and I'll be like. And then I'll figure out that I had the same thing in my closet already. Like, or it's very similar, you know.
- [07:18]
Kim France
Well, we all go for the same things over and over.
- [07:20]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alex calls it. I bought it from the gin store. You know, I watched an amazing movie over the weekend. Fucking Amazing. I can't stop thinking about it. It's old. It's not a new movie. It's not old, but it's. It's my old ass. Have seen it. I watched it too. Oh, my God. Is it not great?
- [07:39]
Kim France
Oh, my God. I cried. Cried a really. And I'm not the biggest Aubrey Plaza fan.
- [07:45]
Jen Romolini
I am, you know. Yeah. Yeah.
- [07:47]
Kim France
I think she's hilarious. I just. Something about her vibe, I just. I know it's intentional, but it just. I don't know. But anyway, it doesn't matter. The movie was so good, so poignant, so funny, so spot on. I was really. I was. And I watched it on a Saturday afternoon with zero expectations.
- [08:07]
Jen Romolini
Yeah. I was just like, oh, this is 90 minutes. Great. And it was like so. Yeah. It was so moving. It was so lovely. It was so life affirming. What it really gets right is this is young love. Like really being in love.
- [08:23]
Kim France
Yeah.
- [08:24]
Jen Romolini
And what that feels like. And when you're young, you don't realize that, like that's going to happen to you if you're lucky a couple of times. Two, three. Like you just don't. You just don't get it. But you don't realize that when you're young. How magnificent that is. Falling in love. I loved it.
- [08:42]
Kim France
Yeah, me too. I thought it was really moving and I hadn't cried in a while. You know, I'm not an easy crier.
- [08:48]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, that's true. That's true about you. I've been crying a lot. I've been just like just letting it. Just letting myself cry. Not even about the election. I don't even want to fucking talk about. That's the other thing. I don't want him to take over any more of my brain space. I feel as though I've given enough to Trump. I've given him enough of my brain. And I don't feel like he's gonna get. Like he's not getting any more than absolutely necessary.
- [09:16]
Kim France
Yep. I think that's good thinking again. You know, I. I just feel like I can't. I can't see that face. I can't hear that voice. And I don't. I feel the same way. I don't want it to take over any more than it has to take over in my life while at the same time acting like a responsible, you know.
- [09:36]
Jen Romolini
No, totally. Well, being a responsible citizen. But I don't have to like mainline the daily fucking all the lanyard guys at Pod Save America that I've just been like fucking letting chat all in My brain, like, this morning, I, like, listened to jazz while I was making the kid breakfast. I was like, all right, no, more the daily. It's fucking stressing me out. And I don't know if that, like, little listening in my liberal bubble has really been helping me that much. I felt, like, responsible and informed, but I don't actually think that I. I think there are other ways to do it.
- [10:12]
Kim France
Yeah, I do, too. And I feel, you know, it's interesting. Cause I put out a call for questions this morning.
- [10:18]
Jen Romolini
Oh, I missed it.
- [10:19]
Kim France
Ooh, I did. But, like, pretty much every question was, how are you managing? What do you plan on doing? What do you plan on doing to take care of yourself? And it. You know, it wasn't surprising to me. And so it. You know, I feel like I really wonder about, like, how to approach it on the podcast, because I don't want to talk about it ever.
- [10:41]
Jen Romolini
Here's the thing. This is what I've been thinking about with the podcast. Like, I'm glad we did the episode that we did last week, but I want to. I want a little bit in, like, a podcast, especially from us. We're like two nimrods. No offense, but, like, you know, like, we don't need to be. This is not the politics podcast. You know, everybody knows where we stand. And also, like, I saw, like, a couple of our listeners kind of get into it on Facebook today. And, like, you know, like, we can all be active politically, and we can find our places where we're gonna be active politically. And we have to stop criticizing, like, everyone within an inch of their lives if they're doing things a little bit differently than usual, or if we're not here being hypervigilant and being like, and now join this charity and this zoom call, and this is where you need to volunteer. Like, everybody's got to get through this, like, in their own way, too, you know?
- [11:38]
Kim France
Yeah, no, I think it's really true. I think that's really true. Including us.
- [11:43]
Jen Romolini
Including us. Including us. And, yeah, so I've been thinking about that, too, because we could very easily become, like, you know, we could very easily steer into politics all the time when I honestly, I need to talk about lipstick sometimes.
- [11:59]
Kim France
You know, we'd be like, Lenny Bruce at the end of his career.
- [12:02]
Jen Romolini
What? Wait, wait, what did happen at the end of his career?
- [12:05]
Kim France
He. Well, Lenny Bruce was like this, you know, hysterically funny political shark comedian, as we all know, and he had many. I may be getting this wrong. So please, please, Facebook community let me know if I am. But he got arrested for obscenity multiple times. And so he would just go show up to his shows and just read from the transcript of the trial and offer commentary. Like, he was so obsessed, it just. Like, he sort of screwed himself.
- [12:39]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He just. He couldn't get out of it. Like, look, I. I want to enjoy. I don't know what's going to happen, and I want to enjoy the light. Like, I also want to try to enjoy things while. While sort of being alert, while being engaged, while, like, offering support and helping fund things and, you know, protecting the people I can protect. But, like, it doesn't serve anyone for us to just be in, like, a. To just be a constant dour bummer.
- [13:07]
Kim France
No, it's really true. It's really true. You know, I've been thinking about my mom because she, you know, she hates Trump. She hates Trump. She's. She, like, you know, like many of us, but she's. She's really passionate about it. And I talked to her the next day, and she was kind of okay. And it was like, she's 87 years old. Is she gonna let this person ruin or, you know, screw up some of her, frankly, final years here?
- [13:37]
Jen Romolini
Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to lose more hair over this person.
- [13:41]
Kim France
I'm done.
- [13:42]
Jen Romolini
I'm done. He's taken too much of my hair. Well, it's also because I stopped fucking neutrophil. Like, that's the thing. It's the thing. Like, I went into the stylist, the hairdresser this weekend because I got my hair colored, and she was like, wow.
- [13:55]
Kim France
I was like, really?
- [13:57]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, yeah, it was. It was pretty bad. I lost, like, a lot of hair in the past three months. I just, like, shedded to death. I. I was, like, not being great with my. My hormones, and I was not, like, I know the supplements that really work for me to, like, hold on to hair. Plus, it's been super dry here, which also doesn't help. Plus, I'm just, like, turning a different. I'm turning a new corner in aging. Like, I can. I could see it. I can see it in my neck skin. Like, I'm just, like, turning a little bit of a corner here. And it's just, you know, we'll see. We'll see where it lands. But it's all about adjusting. As we've talked about for years, aging is all about adjustments, continent, nonstop adjustments.
- [14:41]
Kim France
No, people don't talk about the fact that you have as many changes in this part of Your life in later middle age than you do as an adolescent.
- [14:49]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, 100%.
- [14:51]
Kim France
Nobody talks about it. And all the adjustments you have to make.
- [14:55]
Jen Romolini
You.
- [14:55]
Kim France
You, by the way, look fantastic.
- [14:57]
Jen Romolini
Oh, thank you. Thank you. I. You know, it's only. It's only me noticing. It's only me doing. Doing downward dog the other day in a pair of shorts and being like, is my thigh skin hanging over my knees now? Is that. Is that. Is that what the fuck this is? That skin used to stay up there.
- [15:16]
Kim France
You know, there's a rumor, and I don't know if it's true, that a person we worked with at Lucky had her knees done.
- [15:24]
Jen Romolini
I'm sure she did. I'm sure she did. Because if you have money and you don't like something, of course you're going to get it done. And lots of women. This was, like. I forget what it was called. It had some, like, stupid name, but there was, like, an actual treatment that was called, like, you know, the Hamptons Knee or whatever. No. I was thinking about sitting with my mom's friends a couple of years ago, who were all in their 60s, I think, at the time, and one or a couple of them were single, and talking about how they could not fathom allowing a man to see them naked. Like, with. How much their bodies had changed. Like, they could not have. They could not. They couldn't date because they couldn't let somebody see them. Now. This was like an old, like, boomer way of thinking about bodies and whatever, and it just made me so, so sad. It made me so sad to think about, like, that you wouldn't. That you. That you wouldn't engage in sex in, like, new sex, because you're just so much. Like, my body doesn't look the way it did when I was even 40. You know, it's, like, unrecognizable to me. But that unrecognizability was, like, something that was shameful and shouldn't be shown to anyone.
- [16:42]
Kim France
Yeah, yeah. You know, those women were probably not much older at the time than I was when I met Paul.
- [16:51]
Jen Romolini
Yeah. Yeah.
- [16:52]
Kim France
You know, women in their early 60s or 60s. My experiences as a woman who dated through body changes. Men are just like, tits. They are.
- [17:10]
Jen Romolini
I'll take them.
- [17:12]
Kim France
They are. They're not like. I mean, some men, of course, are.
- [17:17]
Jen Romolini
Right.
- [17:18]
Kim France
But, like, in general, like, if you're. If you're dating a man who is dating women who are about his age, it's not gonna be a surprise to him. It's not gonna be anything. He hasn't seen.
- [17:30]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, yeah, no, that makes sense. And also, like, just. But the other thing is, is that we. We've talked about before, but I just always like to reiterate. It's not like they're so great, you know what I mean? Like, they did. Like, all their shit's hanging and sagging and falling and graying and everything else and drying and souring and, like, all of it. It's like. That's the thing.
- [17:53]
Kim France
It's, like, sprouting. Like hair sprouts. Sprouting.
- [17:56]
Jen Romolini
Just fucking sprouting. And it's like we're just like, oh, no, look at us. We've decayed. And they're just, like, walking around with their old schlongs. Like, it's just, like, crazy.
- [18:08]
Kim France
No, it is crazy. It's a very unjust world in that respect.
- [18:11]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, they're strutting around, you know, that's what I see. Men in their late 50s, 60s. They're just like, yeah, I still got it. You know, it's like.
- [18:21]
Kim France
No, it's really 100% true, I think. I mean, I have to say, it has been kind of freeing to grow into a body that is a shape I don't especially appreciate and still feel like a sexual being.
- [18:36]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, yeah, that's. That's right. That's right. And that's why it made me. It made me so sad. It just. It made me so sad to think, like, oh, well, now you. Now you must be banished. You know, like the way, you know, women were banished when they had their periods in the red tent, you know, it's like, now you have to. Now you just must. Must go away. It's just like.
- [18:57]
Kim France
Or how about the. What tribe is it? Or group of people in a very cold climate who. When the people get old, they just sort of shoved them up off in a raft.
- [19:10]
Jen Romolini
No, stop.
- [19:11]
Kim France
This exists. This exists. They used to. I don't think it exists anymore. But they would just, like the old people, once they had outgrown all their utility as a member of the group, were just put on a raft in the water.
- [19:23]
Jen Romolini
That's sad.
- [19:24]
Kim France
Set off to die.
- [19:25]
Jen Romolini
That's sad. I don't like it. I don't like that idea at all. That makes me uncomfortable.
- [19:31]
Kim France
I don't think I'm saying several things today that I'm pretty sure are true.
- [19:38]
Jen Romolini
That's what it is. That's another reason why we can't become the politics podcast, because we're so full of shit. They're looking for the new Joe Rogans. That's us. Just ask good questions. I mean the liberal Joe Rogan, I saw that, like we just need a liberal. I mean there have been just some, some ridiculous takes. Like we're just like, we're in like human centipede period right now. Just like eating each other's asses. It's horrible. Like the, the, the, the idea that like liberals needed Joe Rogan, it's just like I was like, come on, you clearly don't understand anything. Like Joe Rogan is just like the. I'm kind of liberal, I'm kind of Republican. I'm just asking questions. I'm a guy, I like testosterone. Like it's not. We don't get it. We don't get one of him. That's like a singular. Let's take a quick break from some ads. Support for Everything is Fine comes from ritual did you know that in the winter time your skin tends to dry out? Of course you knew. That is a tough time retaining moisture. Even if you're keeping up a big multiple step skincare routine, your skin gets drier if looks a little crepier, a little more wrinkly. Well with Ritual's Hyac skin supplement you can actually help fight that dryness. It's a clinically proven way to support skin hydration with science backed benefits like reducing wrinkles and improving skin smoothness. I love Ritual. I've been using Ritual for years now. I use their multivitamin, I use their melatonin and I use hair, which I find is a really easy thing to add to my routine. The they taste good. Hiacera tastes good, it doesn't smell bad. It's aesthetically pleasing packaging. I, I think that these are just stellar supplements. Haasera itself in a clinical study led to a 2.9 time increase in supplement skin smoothness within 90 days as compared to a placebo. So you could enhance your skin care routine from the inside out with one capsule enhanced with soothing vanilla as well. So there's definitely some vanilla in there. It's also rigorously tested and validated by a third party for allergens, microbes and heavy metals. Ritual works with world class certification bodies to validate their products and they they have industry leading sustainability standards which I really love. So start hair today to support your glow without compromising on clean science. Haasera from Ritual is a clinically proven skin supplement you can actually trust. Get 25% off your first month for a limited time@ritual.com fine that's ritual.com fine for 25% off your first month.
- [22:28]
Advertiser
They say opposites attract. That's why the sleep number smart bed is the best bed for couples. You can each choose what's right for you whenever you like. You like a bed that feels firm, but they want soft. Sleep number does that. You want to sleep cooler while they like to feel warm. Sleep number does that too. Why choose a sleep number smart bed so you can choose your ideal comfort on either side. And now it's the lowest price of the season. On the top selling i8 smart bed. Your best savings plus special financing limited time shop a sleep number store near you. See store or sleepnumber.com for details. Over the last 75 years, over 10,000 chemicals have been introduced to our food supply, yet the EU only allows 300 food additives. But at Thrive Market, we bring our members the highest quality brands and restrict more than 1,000 ingredients found at conventional grocery stores. Making the switch is easy with our Healthy Swaps scanner, which finds better versions of all your favorite pantry, snacking and home essentials without the added junk dyes and fillers. Plus, it's all delivered straight to your door. So if you're looking to shop at a grocery store that actually cares about your health, go to thrivemarket.com podcast and you'll get 30% off your first order and a free gift.
- [23:51]
Jen Romolini
And we're back. Oh, you know what's back? Did you watch it? Somebody somewhere. What is it Somebody? Yes.
- [23:59]
Kim France
Well, I've been watching it with my stepson who has never watched it before, so we started at the first season again.
- [24:06]
Jen Romolini
Okay, okay.
- [24:07]
Kim France
He had done that for me with industry, so I am doing it with him for somebody somewhere.
- [24:13]
Jen Romolini
Okay, Somebody somewhere is back. Everyone who, who, who watches this show, it is. This season is already so, so good. It's so good. I'm not going to tell you anything about it. But it's. I watched three episodes back to back and I just. It's such a soothing show. It's like, here's a thing you can do for yourselves. It's like a. It's a bomb. It's such a. It's slow. It's never. It never takes like the ridiculous dramatic turn just for tension, you know, it doesn't do anything like that. It just allows itself a lot, like better things. It just allows itself to, like, roll out and tell stories kind of slowly. It's a great show. Yep, it's a great show. Are you feeling like it's great on rewatch?
- [25:00]
Kim France
I am. I really am. I am. It's such a. It's such A. I mean, I've never spent an enormous amount of time in the Midwest, so I can't really say this, but it feels to me like a very accurate depiction of life in a small Midwestern city.
- [25:19]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, Yeah. I have no idea. I have no idea.
- [25:22]
Kim France
And it just. I mean, it just has such a big heart.
- [25:25]
Jen Romolini
Yes. Yeah. And she's amazing. Bridget Everest is just amazing.
- [25:28]
Kim France
Yeah, she's great. I love her.
- [25:30]
Jen Romolini
Mega talent.
- [25:31]
Kim France
You know what's coming back on, I think maybe even today that we're recording is Bad Sisters.
- [25:38]
Jen Romolini
Yes.
- [25:39]
Kim France
I can't wait for that.
- [25:40]
Jen Romolini
Can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. See, tv. TV is coming back. TV will. Will help us through. As long as we still have it.
- [25:48]
Kim France
TV will save us a little.
- [25:50]
Jen Romolini
A little. See, TV will save us just a tiny bit. What? What? What else? I'm going to a wedding this weekend.
- [25:59]
Kim France
So am I.
- [26:00]
Jen Romolini
Really? Oh, my goodness.
- [26:02]
Kim France
Whose wedding are you going to?
- [26:03]
Jen Romolini
I'm going to myself. Sister in law's wedding. She.
- [26:07]
Kim France
Oh, the one you bought that dress for?
- [26:09]
Jen Romolini
The one I bought that crazy dress for. That I can tell my mother in law is like, I don't know about that dress. Yeah, we are. We don't understand what this. We don't understand the dressiness level of this wedding. Has this ever happened to you? Yeah, like, I don't understand. I think I might have had this conversation on this podcast when I don't under. When I just feel blind. If it's not black tie and if it's not spelled out for me, how the fuck do I know? But I'm like, I don't know. Like, can you wear heeled boots to a wedding? You can.
- [26:43]
Kim France
Of course you can.
- [26:44]
Jen Romolini
They're not heels. Are those dressy? I've been having a lot of. Is this dressy? Thoughts and conversations.
- [26:51]
Kim France
Here's my philosophy about getting dressed for weddings. It's also my former philosophy for. For going to fashion shows and getting dressed for them. And I've probably said it on this podcast before, but it is that there will always be somebody better dressed than you and there will always be somebody worse dressed than you.
- [27:10]
Jen Romolini
That's it. That's it.
- [27:11]
Kim France
Takes the pressure off.
- [27:12]
Jen Romolini
Takes the pressure off. No, Alex is wearing a corduroy suit. Not. Yes, he's wearing a corduroy suit. Cool. Yeah. But he was like, is this dressy? And I was like, I don't know. Like, I'm sorry, I'm not classy. What do you want from me? Let's discuss.
- [27:35]
Kim France
Where is the wedding it's outside in.
- [27:38]
Jen Romolini
Like, this beautiful park in Pasadena. And then it's at a restaurant in Chinatown. But it's also an. It's also four days of events, which is just a lot of events. So, you know, and it's gonna be a lot. And then I fly to Chicago on Monday. Oh, cool. Yeah. So it's a busy time. And then that's it. And I was supposed to. Whatever. These are so boring. My week was so busy and I was like, how am I gonna get through this week? We start social skills classes this week. Braces are gonna go. Going on on Wednesday. And I sat down with Alex and I was like, look at this fucking week. And he was like, what can we move? And I was like, you're right, we can move things. He was like, why does Charlotte have to get braces this week? And I was like, there is no reason. It was so thrilling. It was like suddenly, like, I don't. Just that stupid little, like, lift of something off your plate. It just felt amazing.
- [28:39]
Kim France
It's like when anybody cancels lunch plans.
- [28:42]
Jen Romolini
Oh, the best. When anybody cancels plans. Although then I wind up staying in too much. Oh, that's another thing I've been doing. I've been making sure to see people. Like, my friends invited me over last minute Sunday morning to help plan out Thanksgiving dinner that we all sort of had bring a potluck to. And I was like. It was Sunday morning and I was like, I don't want to do this. I'm not going to do this. And then I was like, fuck it, I should go. And I had the best time. The rest of my day was so happy. We didn't talk about politics. We talked about food for two hours.
- [29:15]
Kim France
Yeah. No, seeing people is really clutch.
- [29:18]
Jen Romolini
Clutch.
- [29:18]
Kim France
It's super, super clutch. The day after the election, I just sat in my bedroom and called people.
- [29:27]
Jen Romolini
Yeah.
- [29:27]
Kim France
And FaceTimed people. My cousins who live out in LA, friends I haven't heard from. I just, like, I felt that need to connect. And I do. I said it last week with Jen. I think it's going to be a big piece of this. Just us really being there for each other.
- [29:43]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, I think so, too. And just like, perspective, setting each other, guiding each other, just really. And just also just remembering the goodness in other people. Like just feeling that connection to community and to being useful in your community, whatever that is. Your friendship, community, your block, whatever it is. I feel like that's. That's going to be really meaningful. And it's. I. I've. I've Already started seeing that commitment lifting my. My mood at least. And I think people I'm seeing's mood, hopefully.
- [30:19]
Kim France
That's great.
- [30:21]
Jen Romolini
All right, should we get into listener questions? That's all I had on my list. I had like, lipstick and tv.
- [30:30]
Kim France
Yeah, we can.
- [30:30]
Jen Romolini
All right, let's see, let's see, let's see. Oh, Facebook. I just pulled up Facebook. Apparently I was marching eight years ago today. Yeah, I was marching. I don't know if I'm going to march this year.
- [30:43]
Kim France
I don't know. I got this bad knee, so I don't know if I'm going to march.
- [30:46]
Jen Romolini
Oh, right, your bad knee. Oh.
- [30:51]
Kim France
Yeah. The bad knee is a pain in the ass. It's really bringing me down. And I'm going to this wedding Saturday, and I'm like, am I going to have to wear sneakers to this wedding?
- [31:01]
Jen Romolini
Oh, are you wearing a brace?
- [31:03]
Kim France
I usually have the brace on. I don't right now because today has been a slightly better day. But, like, I'm going out in an hour or so and I'll wear the brace then. I keep it on a lot when it hurts.
- [31:14]
Jen Romolini
Okay.
- [31:14]
Kim France
And I ice it constantly. I've been icing and compression, icing, compression.
- [31:19]
Jen Romolini
What are you going to wear to the wedding?
- [31:20]
Kim France
I got a couple options. I bought a Maria. I bought a leopard print Maria Cornejo dress on the realreal.
- [31:27]
Jen Romolini
Okay, nice.
- [31:28]
Kim France
So that's an option. I've got a kind of woolen caftan.
- [31:32]
Jen Romolini
Okay, okay.
- [31:33]
Kim France
Kind of blue striped with, like, gold. It has blue and sort of, you know, muted orange and then gold stripes.
- [31:42]
Jen Romolini
Okay, that sounds nice.
- [31:44]
Kim France
So that's an option. And I've got a couple just in my, you know, standard dresses that I. I don't know, I should probably be doing a little practice run right now. But I really. The whole thing that's screwing me up is footwear.
- [31:56]
Jen Romolini
Yeah. Do you have. Do you. What? I mean, ugh. Do what? Do you have flats wise that you could wear?
- [32:02]
Kim France
Nothing. Nothing that I could wear with a dress. I mean, I may have to just go into the city and buy some stupid ballet flats.
- [32:09]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, you might.
- [32:10]
Kim France
I just hate a ballet flat. Not on others, just on me.
- [32:14]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, yeah.
- [32:16]
Kim France
They're just so prissy.
- [32:17]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, they are prissy. They are prissy. And also I have, like, the small foot problem. Like, I really have to be careful about the feet I wear. My feet are proportionally small compared to the rest of my body. And, like, if I wear certain shoes, I look like I have hooves, you.
- [32:35]
Kim France
Know, that's really funny. Cause I had a friend who used to talk all the time about smallfoot.
- [32:40]
Jen Romolini
It's a real thing. It's a real thing.
- [32:43]
Kim France
I used to say to her, that's not a thing. And she was like, it's a hundred percent a thing. And I never believed her. But now maybe I do.
- [32:50]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, I mean, I consider it to be a real thing for me. Like, especially if I'm wearing like a boot cut pants. Like, my feet will just get swallowed. My feet will get swallowed in the pants. But also you just look like you have a little like tap, tap, tappy baby feet. It's just not, it's not cute. I need a like elongated shoe. It's a, it's a whole thing. I mean, it's really not an important thing in any way. Okay, we have a couple, we have a couple of questions in here that we can answer. Favorite eyelash curler?
- [33:21]
Kim France
Well, the Shiseido one is the one that everyone loves, right?
- [33:25]
Jen Romolini
I'm going to say the Shu Uemura.
- [33:27]
Kim France
Oh, that's what I meant. Shu Uemura.
- [33:30]
Jen Romolini
That is actually the way that is shaped. It's actually good for hooded eyelids, which many of us have as we're aging. So I would say that's the best one for aging lashes and eyelids.
- [33:47]
Kim France
Aging lashes.
- [33:48]
Jen Romolini
Aging lashes. Well, you know, lashes that are falling out. Oh, my God. I. I'm working on a story on lash growth serums and brow growth serums. And there's two different kinds. Apparently there's ones that actually don't promote growth per se, but create like an environment that promotes growth. Or they don't grow your lashes or eyebrows, but they create an environment. Like they, you know, whatever, they make it moisturize and they take away whatever it is. But the chemical, I forget what it's called now the chemical that is used in brow serums and more importantly lash serums, has actually, it works. But it's actually been proven to like in some people, like cause all kinds of eye problems.
- [34:29]
Kim France
Yikes. Well, Amy Rigby, friend of the podcast on her substack newsletter, was writing about how she tried to the growth serums for her brows and then now her brows look like Eugene Levy.
- [34:43]
Jen Romolini
That's right. That's what happens with the brows for sure.
- [34:47]
Kim France
It's just like not especially a good shape and just a lot of them.
- [34:51]
Jen Romolini
That's what happened to me when I was on the new brow though. The new brow is the one I think is the best. I've been trying grand brow, but I don't think it's as good. New brow is the best, but you do get. You get crazy eyebrows.
- [35:02]
Kim France
See, I'd love if I got some more eyebrows.
- [35:04]
Jen Romolini
You think that, but they don't. They.
- [35:07]
Kim France
It looks crazy.
- [35:08]
Jen Romolini
They don't. They're not great brows. Like, they grow in a weird way. The texture is not great. It's, it's. What it is, is not natural. That's what it looks like.
- [35:18]
Kim France
Yeah.
- [35:19]
Jen Romolini
But the new, new brow, which you can get at Nordstrom, is really good. I think I've been testing grand brow and I think it's less good. Like I just said, we all need comfort right now. What comfy clothes, slippers, et cetera, do you recommend? You're good at this. You know this one?
- [35:37]
Kim France
Well, there's a brand I like for kind of loungewear, yoga wear called Alala.
- [35:43]
Jen Romolini
Okay.
- [35:43]
Kim France
And they make really good leggings and like stretchy pants. Good stretchy pants. I wear, you know, I wear like I, I wear T shirts until they fall apart. And I'll put on one of my about to fall apart T shirts and some Alala sweats and get on the sofa. I think Uniqlo also makes a lot of really good loungy things. I like these house shoes I'm wearing. They're really good. But what brand are they? Oh, Halflinger.
- [36:14]
Jen Romolini
Okay. All right.
- [36:15]
Kim France
They're kind of. They're woolen clogs. And I wear them around the house because I won't go barefoot in my house anymore because of the mice.
- [36:23]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, I don't like going barefoot anymore in the house. It's really a thing that as I've gotten older, I'm like, I just want something on. I just wear ugg. There's like a good. I have like a. I wear my Uggs in the house. I also have a pretty good pair of L.L. bean, like shearling slippers. And then I have those Sherpa line sweatpants that I really, really love for like ultra coziness if it's cold. From where they're from Amazon. They're one of those weird Amazon brands that nobody knows the name of, but they come in the coolest colors. Like, they come in this very bright red, which I have, and like navy, and they come in like a mustard yellow. And we had this. This is like a. This is like a two year ago, like throwback conversation.
- [37:03]
Kim France
Yeah, I remember now. I remember now.
- [37:05]
Jen Romolini
They're good pants. They're good pants. I just did a whole story on. Speaking of pants. On elastic waist pants that look like real pants.
- [37:13]
Kim France
Oh, I want to Because I've seen some and I always wonder, like Everlane makes some. You know, a lot of brands make them, but I always wonder how good they're going to be.
- [37:21]
Jen Romolini
Well, I mean, mix. But I got a pair of pleated metallic palazzo pants that are the coolest looking pants they have. They come in gold, rose gold, silver, gunmetal, this green. That was the ones I got. They're going to be like the best pants for holiday like parties. If I go to any holiday parties.
- [37:46]
Kim France
Amazing.
- [37:46]
Jen Romolini
They're just like a pleated, like, they're just, they just have a massive elastic waist. Like you could eat anything with them. And they look really cute with like a turtleneck and those, those square toed Mary Janes I got.
- [37:58]
Kim France
Yeah, those are good. I've been noticing some square toed Mary Janes here and there.
- [38:02]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, they're less like little girly than.
- [38:06]
Kim France
They're less prissy.
- [38:07]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, less prissy. Exactly. Exactly.
- [38:09]
Kim France
Yeah, a little tougher.
- [38:11]
Jen Romolini
All right, let me see, let me see. I'm so sorry.
- [38:14]
Kim France
Oh, by the way, can I say, can I say something else?
- [38:16]
Jen Romolini
Yes.
- [38:16]
Kim France
We've been doing this podcast for a really long time. Like you just said, like this was two years ago. We were talking about that. Like we've been doing this podcast for almost five years.
- [38:26]
Jen Romolini
That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous.
- [38:30]
Kim France
Isn't that crazy?
- [38:32]
Jen Romolini
It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. Oh, here's a question. Speaking of, do you feel newly empowered as podcast hosts now that we learned this was the podcast election? No, not at all. Not at all. Yeah. Not in any way. The women's march. I was so excited the first time though. Got injured so couldn't go and went to later ones. But feeling so exhausted. Is this exactly the time to go? Head says yes. Body is tired. Thoughts.
- [39:11]
Kim France
It's tough, you know, like, if you're not feeling like going to Washington for the march is the thing to do. There are going to be marches in every big city and lots of small ones too, I would guess. It's tough though, because what does a march do? I mean, historically marches have done a lot, but what does it do in this day and age? March? Trump won't even be in the White House that day. He'll be in Florida playing golf.
- [39:42]
Jen Romolini
Yeah. The thing is, for me, I mean, I don't know where he'll be. I don't care. The thing is, for me, and I'm not sure about the women's march, I don't know if that's the right Space for me as a white woman. I'm just not sure I really want to expand. I want to expand into new spaces and I want to be listening more instead. I mean that's. This is ironic since I do this podcast, but in terms of my activism, I want to be listening more and talking less. And I just went to the march in Washington. I did not wear a pink pussy hat, I will say that right now, but I went to that march and I don't know, I'm not exactly sure. I think this is a conversation we need to put a pin in in terms of, you know, what activism is going to be most effective so that people don't get tired. And I don't know the answer to that yet is the truth.
- [40:41]
Kim France
Yeah, I mean, I do think if going to a march, I mean, I used to go. I didn't go to that march. I went to several pro choice marches on Washington in the 80s and 90s and those were really exhilarating experiences because it felt good to be around a bunch of like minded people when, you know, when we had a fight, you know.
- [41:04]
Jen Romolini
Yes.
- [41:05]
Kim France
And I think from that perspective, for people to feel like community and like they're with other people and that there are a lot of us and that we're going to be counted, then I think, you know, go, yeah, yeah.
- [41:18]
Jen Romolini
I'm not sure yet. For me politically, I'm just not, I'm not sure where. I'm not sure where I'm at yet. Like I said, I mean, I think this is an ongoing conversation. Yeah, I'll ask something light, says somebody. Setting spray. Recommendations? I actually don't have one for this.
- [41:36]
Kim France
I've used Urban Decay's one. It's pretty good, but I don't use it all the time. It just, it's so counterintuitive. Like you put on your mascara and then you spray on setting spray and I'm afraid it, you know, makes your mascara go everywhere.
- [41:51]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, that's the thing. That's what I don't want. I don't, I don't really. Well, the thing is I don't really wear that much makeup. I don't, I just don't. I really, I like, I don't need a setting spray because I don't wear a lot of makeup. Though I will say, like all kinds of like loss of collagen. Things are happening to me. Like my pores are looking enlarged. The blackheads. Like there's all sorts of like weird skin things that are happening that, that had not been there before. I really want to figure out what to do about enlarged pores, which I don't know.
- [42:21]
Kim France
Yeah, tell me when you do.
- [42:23]
Jen Romolini
I've. Do my best. Everybody wants to know about the direction the country is heading. Oh, how are you two? Somebody asked how are you besides your bum knee?
- [42:37]
Kim France
I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm really okay. I mean, I'm bummed out. I woke up today depressed. Like, legitimately depressed. You know, I don't know. I think some of that is the election. I think some of that is just my stupid brain chemistry.
- [42:51]
Jen Romolini
Yeah.
- [42:52]
Kim France
You know, but mostly I'm okay. I think that, you know, we're gonna, you know, the only way through is through, as they say.
- [43:00]
Jen Romolini
Yep.
- [43:00]
Kim France
You know, and I have a little bit of a, you know, I feel a little bit like, you know, all you guys who voted for him, like, fuck around and find out. Just watches your liberties as you're, you know, watches so many things disappear.
- [43:15]
Jen Romolini
I am trying to soften to. I am trying to soften my cold heart or warm my cold heart and soften my rigid. My rigid. I'm just trying to soften my rigidity because I've been reading. Did you ever read. Do you read Dorothy Allison at all?
- [43:37]
Kim France
I didn't. I read her a bit, but I never read any of her books, so.
- [43:41]
Jen Romolini
I read Bastard out of Carolina a long time ago. But I. This week I read this essay called A Question of Class, which was written in 1994, but holds up so remarkably well. And it's about sort of othering each other, and it's about the. The. The they. You know, the idea of they dismissing the they and, like, really trying to see the humanity in other people, like, not all Trump voters. I just am trying to see this in a different way. I'm experimenting. I probably shouldn't even say these things out loud, but I'm trying to see, like, why did people feel like he would be the solution? I saw, like, aoc, like, shared, like, all of these responses. They're like, hundreds of responses of, like, people who voted for her and for Trump. Like, I think that I really thought the Biden presidency was good. It worked for me. But the thing is, I failed to see how many people it actually didn't work for, how the economy actually has been hurting people, like, a lot of people. And I feel like I had a lot of blind spots in the last four years, in the last eight years, and that I'm closing down. And I don't want to close down. It doesn't mean I have to Agree. But I don't want to just shut down like that. I feel like that rigidity is not. Is not going to help. So that's. That's sort of, you know, where I'm working, what I'm working on. But also I don't want to go through this shit twice, you know, so the anticipatory stress and anxiety and rage and everything, I just don't want to have to live through it twice. If it's going to come, it's going to come and I'm going to have to live through it then, you know?
- [45:33]
Kim France
Yeah. Yeah, that's.
- [45:35]
Jen Romolini
That's kind of where I'm at right now. Like, I don't want anybody to think I'm becoming a Republican, but, like, if, like, how are you? Like, that's kind of where I'm at. Yeah.
- [45:43]
Kim France
Trying to. Trying to understand. Like, I remember years ago listening to. In the 90s, listening to a segment on NPR about an organization that put pro choice people with pro life people.
- [45:56]
Jen Romolini
Yep.
- [45:57]
Kim France
And they both had to refer to one another as their preferred. Is their preferred names. And I don't know how much progress it ever made, but being able to imagine why this happened is just important.
- [46:11]
Jen Romolini
And I've been thinking about what a fucking problem this is. Right. And thinking about it instead of, like, thinking of it like, I'm so much better. Like, this is like a problem. How polarized we are. Like, Joe Biden was like, it was just like a filler. We're kind of back to 2016. Like, you know, was just like, nothing really changed because we didn't change.
- [46:39]
Kim France
Yep.
- [46:40]
Jen Romolini
You know, I mean, like this, like, smug liberal. Like, I just, I. I'm. I come from a working class background, and I used to at least, like, have a lot of different points of view around me, like, so that I didn't find them intolerable in the way I do now.
- [46:58]
Kim France
Yeah.
- [46:58]
Jen Romolini
And that's. That's the work I think I have to do. And whatever anybody else has to do, that's the work I think that I need to do. Okay. How to grapple with the reality of what happened without spiraling out and making bad decisions that could make things worth worse, not worth worse, I. E. Excess retail therapy leading to more debt. I feel like I'm leaning toward a treat yourself mode right now. But others are saving and stocking up for a doomsday.
- [47:28]
Kim France
Oh, fuck. Something in between those two things, I think.
- [47:32]
Jen Romolini
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [47:33]
Kim France
Like, if something's gonna put a little spring in your step to buy and it's not gonna like screw you up financially. Go for it. Like, we all need shit like that every once in a while.
- [47:43]
Jen Romolini
Yeah.
- [47:44]
Kim France
But I think at the same time, like, you know, like I was watching CNBC last night cause I was watching Shark Tank and they have all these ads for like survivor meal kits where they'll send you enough freeze dried food to last you 25 years.
- [48:02]
Jen Romolini
Oh my God.
- [48:03]
Kim France
And I'm like, should I be buying some?
- [48:05]
Jen Romolini
Oh my God.
- [48:06]
Kim France
Like, what if there's another pandemic and none of us can get to the store? Should I be buying some of this, like 25 years worth of freeze dried food?
- [48:15]
Jen Romolini
I mean, look, the survivalist podcast is another thing. Like, should I have cash in my house? Like much more cash. Should I have a gun? Like, this stuff could get fucking crazy. I'm not. It's November. We still have like a, like, let me just enjoy Christmas. Like, I cannot, like, it's going to come. I just don't know if I can be thinking about it coming every day from now until it does.
- [48:45]
Kim France
I think that's fair and I think that's, that's good. That's how I plan to proceed.
- [48:49]
Jen Romolini
But in terms of treating yourself, like, first off, I like that I always try to park things to deal with my impulsivity, which is grand. I try to do the park it in your cart for a couple of days and come back to it. Give yourself at least 48 hours. If you still want it in 48 hours, maybe revisit it. And then also if you really need a fix, buy something small like I bought. I bought a couple of lipsticks this week and they really did make me happy.
- [49:19]
Kim France
Yep.
- [49:20]
Jen Romolini
All right, look, this is a short episode because it's not even all that short. No, it's not. It's not that. It's not that short. In the end, you're right. I'm being too hard on us. Being too hard on us. Thanks for listening to Everything is fine as always. We are your hosts. I'm Jen Romolini.
- [49:38]
Kim France
And I'm Kim France.
- [49:40]
Jen Romolini
If you like the show, please rate and review it across the platforms like Apple podcasts. It really helps people find the show. It makes a difference. If you want to support the production of the show, to keep the lights on in the show, to help us pay our editor, you can join our patreon@patreon.com everythingisfine. You can find Kim on her substack, Kim france.substack.com you can find me at general romolini.substack.com we are on social media with a robust and private Facebook group. We are also on Instagram, sometimes AF podcast. The show is mixed and edited by Natalie Rivera, who is great and we'll be back next week.
- [50:29]
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