Excellent Executive Coaching Podcast, Episode 370

What it Means to be Mindfully Successful, with Margo Boster

Host: Dr. Katrina Burrus, PhD, MCC
Guest: Margo Boster, executive coach and author of “Mindfully Successful”
Air Date: February 25, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode explores the concept of being "mindfully successful" in leadership—leveraging self-awareness and intentional action to define and achieve authentic success, rather than being driven by external expectations or ingrained patterns. Through practical coaching insights and real client stories, Margo Boster shares her approach to helping leaders uncover the motivations behind their goals, reframe internal narratives, and create sustainable, meaningful professional growth.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Defining Mindful Success (00:36–01:46)

• Mindful success means acting with awareness about your actions and their impacts—on yourself, others, and your organization—without being overly reactive or overwhelmed.

• Rather than striving for constant perfection or calm (not “walking around like the Dalai Lama”), it’s about honest reflection and learning from each day without judgment.

  “Mindfully successful is about acting with awareness of what you are and are not doing and noticing the impact... while you're not being overly reactive and overwhelmed.”
  — Margo Boster (00:44)

• Key aspects:

  • Self-awareness of behavior and its organizational impact
  • Understanding the true motivations behind one’s goals
  • Rejecting the myth that ‘mindful’ means detached zen or “woo woo” (01:46)

Uncovering Underlying Motivations (02:04–03:46)

• Many leaders pursue goals shaped by family expectations, societal pressures, or internalized narratives (e.g., success equaling money, status, or pleasing others).

• The importance of distinguishing between genuine personal goals and inherited or externally-imposed definitions of success.

  “A lot of the times when you can peel back why are they chasing what they're chasing, they can really shift the stories that they tell themselves...”
  — Margo Boster (02:14)

Coaching Process: Awareness and Trend Identification (03:46–06:04)

• Initial step: Notice recurring behaviors or emotional reactions—without judgment or immediate correction. Example prompt: Observe when you feel like a failure over the course of a week.

• Next: Look for patterns (e.g., reactions occurring in meetings with superiors).

• Childhood stories are used not therapeutically but as data points, illuminating the roots of current triggers.

  “The first step is really noticing when you're having these reactions inside of you.”
  — Margo Boster (04:25)

• The goal: Slow down, bring awareness to internal ‘noise,’ and give clients permission to explore these narratives.

Deep-Seated Patterns & The Process of Change (06:04–09:30)

• Changing ingrained beliefs is a gradual journey—“these messages did not get embedded in your brain overnight.”

• Key techniques:

  • Effect labeling (naming): Label the emotion you’re experiencing (activating the thinking brain to reduce the emotional reaction).
  • “Scratch the record”: Use tactile reminders (like a Yoda figurine) to disrupt automatic reactions, similar to making a scratch on a vinyl record so the habit loop isn’t perfect and uninterrupted.

  “When that event, that stimuli occurs, then I literally kind of, with my little Yoda scratch, I would notice it in the moment and make a physical stimuli.... Over time, thanks to the beautiful power of Neuroplasticity, your brain starts taking a different path...”
  — Margo Boster (07:28)

Real-World Example: Coaching "Henry" (09:49–13:14)

• Client story: “Henry” was a high-level leader, successful outwardly but burdened by perfectionism due to family upbringing (“being the golden child”).

• After a public criticism by the chairman, even years later, Henry experienced anxiety anytime the chairman’s name arose.

• Through the "naming" technique—simply labeling the emotion as “embarrassed” when triggered—Henry was gradually able to neutralize this reaction.

• Outcome: Henry eventually encountered the chairman unexpectedly and realized he’d been unaffected.

  “Every time this person would have that, this name or this person showing up, they would say one word, one word. Embarrassed. Embarrassed.... And so this is an example of something that... really was changed that individual's life by being able to reduce the emotional impact...”
  — Margo Boster (12:02)

The Lasting Impact of Childhood Conditioning (13:49–17:40)

• Many leaders’ self-worth becomes entwined with achievement due to parental or societal expectations—rewarding outcome over intrinsic worth.

• Even well-intentioned parenting can inadvertently reinforce perfectionism and external validation.

• The societal emphasis on achievement defines “greatness” too narrowly, reinforcing the problem.

  “Society, I think, really does reward and say, you've got to be the best... Stop comparing yourself to everybody else. Compare yourself to your self... This book is about from the inside out. Who are you?”
  — Margo Boster (16:37)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On what mindfulness is not (01:46):

  “Mindfully successful is not walking around like the Dalai Lama, always in a state of Zen, you know, in the life that we have, that's not possible.”
  — Margo Boster

• On parental influence and society (14:47):

  “As well intentioned as I was, as mindful as I tried to be raising them, I can see, oh, this is having this effect.... Society says, oh, we reward greatness. Well, greatness can be defined in so many different ways.”
  — Margo Boster

• On breaking the comparison trap (16:37):

  “Stop comparing yourself to everybody else. Compare yourself to yourself.”
  — Margo Boster

• On iterative self-change (09:40):

  “Yeah. It takes time. I'm glad it. And you're really... It's little by you chip at it little by little.”
  — Dr. Katrina Burrus

• On moving from ‘successfully exhausted’ to ‘mindfully successful’ (18:24):

  “I send out periodic... tips, techniques, and some reassurance on how they can be mindfully successful instead of successfully exhausted.”
  — Margo Boster

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment Topic | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:36 | Definition of mindful success | | 02:14 | The difficulty of uncovering true motivations | | 03:46 | Coaching steps: noticing, trend-spotting, and narrative work | | 06:32 | The gradual process of shifting deep-seated beliefs | | 07:24 | “Scratch the record” technique explained | | 09:49 | Client story: “Henry” and the naming technique | | 14:47 | Influence of parental and societal expectations | | 16:37 | Societal definition of success vs. internal definitions | | 18:24 | Where to find more resources from Margo Boster |

Conclusion & Resources

Key Takeaway:
Mindful success is an intentional, lifelong practice that requires self-awareness, questioning inherited narratives, and persistent, gentle course correction—not chasing ideals set by others.

Further Resources:

• Margo Boster’s website: margoboster.com
• LinkedIn: Follow Margo for regular insights and tips
• Book: Mindfully Successful by Margo Boster

Host’s Final Thoughts:
Dr. Katrina Burrus recommends Margo’s book for deeper stories and techniques, emphasizing the importance and applicability of these concepts for leaders and coaches alike.