Excellent Executive Coaching: Episode EEC 411
"How to Persuade and Succeed at Your Negotiations" with Andres Lares
Host: Dr. Katrina Burrus, PhD, MCC
Guest: Andres Lares
Date: December 9, 2025
Episode Overview
This episode explores the intersection of emotional intelligence and negotiation strategy with expert negotiator Andres Lares. Host Dr. Katrina Burrus interviews Andres on his four-step model for persuasion and negotiation, drawing on psychology, practical examples, and real-world application—especially in high-stakes environments like sports management. The focus is on how leaders and coaches can leverage credibility, emotion, logic, and action to achieve more consistent, effective outcomes in negotiations.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Emotional Intelligence & Its Relevance to Negotiation
[00:47–02:52]
- Andres highlights the five pillars of emotional intelligence:
- Self-awareness
- Self-regulation
- Motivation
- Empathy
- Social skills
- These competencies are not just theoretical—they’re practical assets underpinning every successful negotiation.
Notable Quote:
"Self-awareness...makes sense to start there: being aware of yourself and how you present yourself to others. Self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills—those are really integral in our model and persuade, the four-step process."
—Andres Lares [01:04]
The Four-Step Persuasion Model
1. Credibility
[02:52–06:38]
- The first step in persuasion: clearly establishing credibility.
- Practical example: TV commercials featuring dentists—real or actors in white coats—to borrow credibility.
- Strategies for building credibility in business: establish long-term trust through repeated value delivery or ‘borrow’ credibility from trusted insiders.
- Statement against self-interest as a credibility builder, e.g., Buckley’s cough syrup: “It tastes awful, but it works.”
Notable Quote:
“If you're willing to admit that it tastes awful, whatever you say next is much more likely to be believed...that can help you build your own credibility if you're not able to borrow it or when borrowing it isn’t enough.”
—Andres Lares [06:18]
2. Emotion
[06:47–11:29]
- Decision-making is fundamentally emotional, later justified with logic.
- Persuasive strategies should tap into emotions before laying out logical arguments.
- Emotional levers: Fear, Obligation, Achievement, Scarcity.
- Fear is powerful in the short term but shouldn’t be overused.
- Obligation: Reciprocation after a favor enhances compliance.
- Achievement: Paint an aspirational picture of the potential outcome.
Notable Quote:
"People make decisions emotionally and then they justify them rationally."
—Andres Lares [08:00]
Tactics:
- Use stories that create a sense of what the future could look like—for better (achievement) or worse (fear/scarcity).
- Maintain a balance—don’t lean solely on negative motivators.
3. Logic
[11:33–14:22]
- Logic, when paired with emotion, solidifies the case for acting.
- Storytelling is key: People remember and engage with stories much more than with raw data.
- Tell stories that mirror the listener’s context (“Let me tell you about a similar client...”) so they can “see themselves” in the narrative.
Notable Quote:
“The story then accomplishes both [emotion and logic]... That data is still being communicated, but now in a way much more compelling through the story.”
—Andres Lares [14:22]
4. Action
[14:22–18:58]
- After credibility, emotion, and logic, the final step is facilitating actionable next steps.
- Common barrier: Good ideas don’t get implemented without a plan or urgency.
- Technique: Offer three options—not more (overwhelming) and not fewer (ultimatum)—allowing the other party to feel ownership and collaboration in the final decision.
- For coaches: Create frameworks that combine credibility and emotion, but always give the client or counterpart meaningful choice.
Notable Quote:
“You give them three options... you have somewhat control, but at the same time, you're giving them control because they have to choose.”
—Dr. Katrina Burrus [17:13]
When Persuasion Doesn’t Work
[18:58–20:17]
- Success rate is never 100%—people must want to be persuaded, and it all takes practice.
- Relationship-building (credibility, trust, rapport) matters long-term; credibility underpins everything.
- Sometimes, revisiting credibility or rapport is more effective than pushing harder on logic or emotion.
Advanced Negotiation Tactics: Who Should Go First?
[20:17–24:56]
- Go first to anchor the outcome if both parties understand the market.
- Don’t go first if there is an information imbalance—let the less knowledgeable party make the first offer, as it could be unexpectedly advantageous.
- If given a surprisingly good offer, add “friction” (delay acceptance) so the other party feels confident in the deal.
Notable Quote:
“By letting them go first, the value of the information is worth it... Even when it’s as good or much better than you possibly hoped for, you still need to give a little bit of friction so the other party feels good about the deal.”
—Andres Lares [23:55]
Memorable Moments & Quotes
- “What's incredible is there’s lots of studies that found you’re more likely to listen to what a dentist says about something unrelated than if it’s someone random; that’s the power of credibility.” —Andres Lares [03:38]
- “Stories are much more compelling than other means of communicating something.” —Andres Lares [12:10]
- “No leader can sustainably lead with fear only... So you want to have kind of the full arsenal of various different emotions.” —Andres Lares [09:39]
- “A good negotiator... asks questions that allow the other party to reach the solution on their own.” —Andres Lares [18:07]
- “If you jump across the table and shake Katrina’s hand to lock in that deal, Katrina is going to have real second thoughts about that offer she made.” —Andres Lares [24:31]
Timestamps for Key Segments
- [00:47] Emotional intelligence & its five pillars
- [02:52] The four-step persuasion model: C-E-L-A
- [03:03] Real-world credibility: toothpaste commercials, sports negotiations
- [06:38] Credibility-building: statements against self-interest
- [06:47] Emotion: Aristotle's influence, fear, obligation, achievement
- [11:33] Storytelling: logic made emotional
- [14:22] Action: mechanic of offering options, coaching parallel
- [18:58] What to do when persuasion “fails”
- [20:17] Who goes first in negotiations? Anchoring and information advantages
- [23:55] The “friction” technique for surprising offers
Practical Takeaways
- Build or borrow credibility; use authenticity, share occasional shortcomings to boost trust.
- Lead with emotion, support with logic, and always close with plan-oriented action.
- Storytelling beats data alone for persuasion; let listeners see themselves in the transformation you describe.
- Offer choices, not ultimatums; facilitate the other party’s ownership of the process.
- Don’t fear “failure”; strong relationships and credibility are assets regardless of the immediate outcome.
- Strategically decide who “goes first” in negotiations based on information symmetry.
How to Connect with Andres Lares
- Website: socialpowernegotiations.com
- LinkedIn: Search “Andres Lares”
Episode in a Sentence
Persuasion is a structured dance of credibility, emotion, logic, and action—a process that’s as human as it is strategic, and one that leaders and coaches can master for better negotiation outcomes.